It’s Not Sugaries, but it’s Sugaries
The camera cuts backstage where a high pitched giggling is coming from behind a closed door. Of course, since this is the camera and this is interesting, and because the door is closed; we go right on in. Bobby Lee is sitting cross legged on top of a computer monitor, somehow managing to balance there while rocking the monitor back and forth as though its a rocking chair or a surfboard.
BL: “These are good sugaries.”
Jeremy Gold comes into the frame, or actually the camera zooms out to find him sitting behind a desk, is it his desk? Well, it doesn’t matter but he’s got some more powder, nose candy, sitting in front of him.
JG: “Its not sugaries man… its… its…”
Bobby nods, he seems to understand.
BL: “Its sugaries.”
Gold nods as he looks up at Bobby Lee with wide eyed amazement at his intelligence and cunning.
JG: “Exactly, its not sugaries, but its sugaries.”
It makes no sense, but then again they don’t make sense to anyone else, but themselves.
JG: “Man, you got to try something else… you’ll love it.”
Lee titls his head, listening and waiting; he falls off the monitor. However, even though he has fallen, he is still cross legged and his eyes are still wide open.
JG: “Oh shit man… you are fucked up.”
Lee giggles, but still doesn’t blink.
JG: “Shit man… I forgot… you got a match. later tonight.”
Bobby looks at Gold in confusion.
BL: “A match?”
BL: “You smoke these sugaries too?”
Gold smiles, possibly having found a new best friend, only time will tell. We slowly back out of the door.
Because Fuck You Virgin! Singles Match
Virgil Keenan versus Bobby Lee
With the ending lyrics Bobby lee pastes himself in the ring, he has a quiver about him as he watches the Stage way. With a thundering cloud the music hits the speaker system, the match is about to begin, the question now is if I silent Virgil this week lead to a silent no show.
With that bobby lee hits the ground. The Masked wrestler known as Virgil Keenan stands over the writhing body, swiftly thrusting and gouging into the white flesh with the head of the steel.
Gordon:“What the hell?! This is some backwards hypocritical bullshit. I thought he hated hardcore.”
Virgil circles the kid with steel chair jabs, putting his full upper body into the strikes. He taunts the crowd a bit, signaling for a microphone as the bell rings. The fans who are historically vocal aren’t sure how to react until Keenan’s voice hits up.
Keenan:”Hey, hey! Bobby my buddy, can I ask you a question? Simple one.”
Virgil Slams the chair down again into his back, small spurts of life get drowned away in Lee’s Consciousness.
Virgil: “Does it FEEL like I’m better than you?”
Keenan drops to a knee and shoves the microphone into the wrestlers face, pitiful is the reply. Lee is whimpering and crying. A slap to the face and a kick to the arm rolls the wrestler over another few jabs.
Keenan: “Becaus if i feel anything, it’s that i’m a better wrestler than Bobby Lee. Right? Right guys? I’m asserting my obvious, overwhelming, tactical whit, my skill, my athletic ability in contest right now.”
A few more brutal shots to the kid.
Keenan: “Oh, we’re having a ball here tonight in the name of competition right Bobby? You’re throwing your best effort, everything you learned while you trained to become a wrestler. You’re combining your ability to adapt and evolve as the match goes on.”
A slam in the back, Bobby cries out in obvious torture.
Keenan: “BRILLIANT COUNTER!”
Keenan: “ WHAT AN IMPRESSIVE SUPLEX!”
Keenan kicks him swiftly in the face before wailing at the side of his body.
Keenan: “OUT OF NOWHERE SUBMISSION.”
Keenan places his boot on Bobby’s chest.
Virgil: “WHAT A MATCH!”
Virgil: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout, and the most skilled, talented, and proven, hailing out of the best company in the world, Rebel Pro, he is the Alternative, The hardcore legend, the king of the steel chair, genocidal, homicidal, Virgil Keenan.”
Keenan slams the chair back down one more time.
Virgil:“I think I’ve made my point…..”
Knock. Knock. The door opens and in walks Jeremy Gold, briefcase in hand. He drops the briefcase on Simon Kalis’ desk and sighs in huge relief as he plops himself down on the office chair opposite the man himself.
Jeremy Gold: There!
Simon Kalis: Is it all in there?
Jeremy Gold: All the ratings and financial reports of the last fiscal year, neatly organized and ready for you to pour over.
Kalis kicks his feet up and lights a cigarette.
Simon Kalis: Well. It’s a start. Should help us calculate for any eventualities…
He pauses to take a drag off his cigarette.
Simon Kalis: And prepare any contingencies.
Jeremy Gold: Simon… As probably your oldest and only real friend, can I ask you something?
Simon Kalis: Shoot.
Gold wipes the sweat off his brow nervously.
Jeremy Gold: Is all of this really… Wise?
Simon Kalis: Which part?
Jeremy Gold: Oh I don’t know. Preparing for the complete and utter collapse of the AoWF for one, and then picking a fight with an entire federation outside of the AoWF.
Simon Kalis: I’ve got too much of my fucking money tied up in REBEL Pro to see it shit the bed and close up like RXW and Victory. I need to get this done, and to make sure everything is on the table and we’re financially capable of lasting any crisis. Besides, UX is a big part of that. It’s all about increasing the ratings, driving interest up! Come on Jer, keep up.
Gold sighs. Kalis smokes.
Jeremy Gold: I guess I didn’t really take you for the numbers kind of guy. To sit here and sift through all this stuff…
Kalis stands up and stretches, walking past Gold and patting him on the back.
Simon Kalis: Hell no. You’re going to sit here and go over all the boring stuff. It’s what I pay for you, pal. One more thing.
Jeremy Gold: Yeah?
Simon Kalis: Tell your new boyfriend Bobby Lee I said hello.
Kalis whistles as he leaves the office, Gold slams his face on the desk in despair as we fade to ringside…
Tag Team Match
Kontroversy Kreates Kake versus Golden Inferno
Both teams came out with their respective entrances and it was grand! The crowd was obviously excited to witness Anna Mathews and Johnny Maverick teaming up for the first time in Rebel Pro. They were kind of excited for Golden Inferno, too, who actually got a win last week against Vincent Black and Abbie Graves. The bell sounded and Anna started out for KKK while the INFERNO started out for GI.
Linzi Martin: Anna just kicked the INFERNO in the face!
Larry Gordon: Why are you emphasizing Inferno so much?
Linzi Martin: I’m not, his name is the INFERNO.
Larry Gordon: Whatever, chucklehead. Inferno is down hard and Anna dares Jeremy Gold to step into the ring.
Gold is freaking out on the apron, shaking his head as the crowd is yelling at him to get in the ring.
Larry Gordon: Oh my Lord is Jeremy Gold getting in the ring?
Linzi Martin: Hey Johnny Maverick is totally making out with that hot red head.
Larry Gordon: Oh Lord! Gingers terrify me.
Jeremy steps into the ring and slowly walks over to adorable Anna. He gives one last sigh of relief, but wait!
Larry Gordon: The INFERNO is alive!
Linzi Martin: Hey you got his name right. The INFERNO gets up to his feet and he… sets himself on fire! IDIOT!
The Inferno rolls out of the ring. Johnny Maverick is interrupted by The Inferno being on fire. Johnny Maverick hates being interrupted, and TONY JAA’s Inferno over the barricade while EMT’s soak him with a fire extinguisher.
Linzi Martin: And Anna takes Jeremy Gold down with the Boomerfly Kick! This one’s over.
Larry Gordon: Was there ever any doubt?
Anna covers Jeremy Gold, who’s completely out cold and chances are soiled his pants before getting KO’d.
DING DING DING!!
Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match by pinfall… KONTROVERSY KREATES KAKE!
Johnny hops into the ring and celebrates with her partner. They eat some cake, while Jeremy Gold is stretchered out of the ring and backstage. The INFERNO isn’t dead as the fire was put out. Happy endings!
Armed Assault 2012
REBEL Pro proudly presents: ARMED ASSAULT 2012!
LIVE! From the PWA Dome in St. Louis, Missouri on October 1st, 2012!
Emily Corlen versus Vincent Black
Linzi Martin: Welcome back, everybody. Alongside me for the time being is current Underground X wrestler & follower of the Ultra Passion Movement, John Chellios!
John Chellios: Hello people! It’s me, John Chellios, and boy, oh boy, boy-boy, boy, do we have a match for you in a minute.
Linzi Martin: Tell it like it is, John.
John Chellios: Don’t mind if I do, Lizzy! You see, people, Vincent Black is one tough son-of-a-bitch. He’s very tall, he’s well-built, and he’s dark. Not just skin-wise but that heart of his is dark as hell, I must say. I look at Vincent Black and think, “this guy.. No wonder he’s a Triple Crown champion. No wonder he’s one of the most recognizable faces in REBEL history. No wonder Emily Corlen is shaking in her boots – “
Linzi Martin: I doubt Emily is scared, John. She’s scared of no one. According to her application, that’s one of Emily’s qualities.
John Chellios: Well, I saw Emily earlier today, and you know what she told me?
Linzi Martin: No, what?
John Chellios: She said, “John, I don’t think I have what it takes. I don’t think I can handle taking down Vincent Black.”
Linzi Martin: You’re lying, John. Emily Corlen is a multi world champion. She’s taken the best of the best, and Vincent Black has seen better days.
John Chellios: You’re entitled to your opinion, Linzi, but Emily is a pussy.
Linzi Martin: John!
John Chellios: There, I said it. It had to be said.
Linzi Martin: For heaven’s sake, John, that’s not very nice.
John Chellios: Nice? NICE?! You wanna talk about nice? Let’s talk about the Ultra Passion Movement. The Mainerishi says,
Linzi Martin: You save that Underground X talk for the Blacklist, John. Right now, we gotta call this match, so do your job.
John Chellios: Well, not much to report at the moment, is there? We have Emily Corlen entering to her music, a mixed reception, and I definitely understand the negativity.
Linzi Martin: People like Corlen because she reminds them of a superhero. She can rise above, and when she does, she conquers like a bad lady from Sri Lanka!
John Chellios: And those who don’t like this bi-polar, irrational, overly hyped, two-faced, sloppy worker whose only good enough to hold Matt Stone’s jock strap, piece of plastic that deserves to be destroyed, not recycled.
Linzi Martin: Did Emily kick your dog? Why all this hate? Anyway, Vincent Black is out to a lukewarm response. He’s a cult favorite.
John Chellios: Before I joined the Ultra Passion Movement, and by before I mean approximately three hours prior to my registration, I was in a tattoo shop considering getting Vincent Black’s name tattooed across my throat.
Linzi Martin: .. What stopped you?
John Chellios: I am terrified of needles.
Linzi Martin: Finally, this match is underway, with Emily Corlen quick on the offensive with a mixture of body shots, dodging and chops.
John Chellios: Gotta give credit where credit’s due, Lizzy. Corlen is flabbergasting Black beyond. Someone 5’6 is whopping a 6’11 ‘roid freak.
Linzi Martin: Vincent Black doesn’t do steroids.
John Chellios: Anybody as bulky as he is must. That’s not natural.
Linzi Martin: Are you sure?
John Chellios: Positive.
Linzi Martin: Fancy a bet?
John Chellios: Ten bucks says he is.
Linzi Martin: Deal. OH! Vincent lays Corlen out with a spinning side slam! Yet he couldn’t even obtain a one count.
John Chellios: Stomping away at her is a sure way to enable more effective moves, such as this – High Angle SPINEBUSTER! Corlen’s head bounced off the canvas like a rubber ball!
Linzi Martin: Come to think of it, I remember hearing Corlen is supposedly a juicer lover too.
John Chellios: To be honest, Lizzy, Corlen should do pornography.
Linzi Martin: What?!
John Chellios: Any muscular woman that’s ever been a pro’ wrestler at one point did porn. That’s a fact. Emily Corlen should join the circle of life.
Linzi Martin: You’re an idiot, and nonsensical; and completely irrelevant to this match; a match where Vincent’s powerbomb to Corlen almost got a two count, but ‘the flaming phoenix of emerald cartridge in sands of esophagus’ Emily Corlen will have none of it! Rebounding with a headbutt, Corlen then takes off her boot.. What?!
John Chellios: She’s taking off her boot, and now removing her sweaty sock. Oh dear lord.
Linzi Martin: As Vincent sits upward, Corlen bashes her foot against Vincent’s face repeatedly! 6 – 8- 11- Oh hell, I can’t keep up with her.
John Chellios: Put your damn boot on, Corlen! Nobody wanna see your nasty foot!
Linzi Martin: Except that guy in the front row. He looks aroused..
John Chellios: To be honest, hur-hur, I am a bit too. But who can blame me? This is Emily Corlen we’re talking about here. She’s the cult of personality for a damn reason, Lizzy. Emily is a PWA World Champion, a former TGW World Champion & a BWF World Champion. She’s done it all. That’s why, when I see her shoving her foot inside Vincent’s mouth, as I do now, I know she does it superiorly. Ain’t nobody capable of doing the nasty, ridiculous shit she does.
Linzi Martin: I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or an insult. Nevertheless, returning to the action, Corlen is dropping knees repeatedly across Vincent’s throat, as he struggles to land a punch.
John Chellios: She swats them away like coherent & credible promos.
Linzi Martin: Jesus, shut your mouth & call the match without bias! Corlen pulls Vincent up to his feet by his big floppy ears.
John Chellios: I’m laying the challenge down now. Corlen, I know you don’t have balls, but I mean this metaphorically, if you got the balls to face me at any place, any time; it don’t matter! Face me like a man, you woman who pretends to be a man sometimes by making weird associations in your cringe-worthy promos!
Linzi Martin: How about you be a man and challenge her after the match, John? She can’t hear you from inside the ring. She’s busy planting Vincent with a double underhook facebuster, taking this match down in flames! She flips him over, strikes him twice in the face by her right knee, cross presses, and-
John Chellios: That’s the three! Well done, Emily. You finally win a match of value.
Linzi Martin: Uhm, Corlen has won plenty of matches.
John Chellios: Yeah? But did she defeat someone under seven minutes?
Linzi Martin: Yes.
John Chellios: Against who?
Linzi Martin: I don’t know.
John Chellios: Exactly, that’s why when I say –
Punched in the head, Chellios’ distracted ramble allowed Emily Corlen to continue punching him multiple times! Pulling him away from his commentary station, Corlen Irish Whips Chellios into steel steps nearby! Placing John’s head between her thunder thighs, Corlen lifts him up and drops him once with a powerbomb! But she won’t release the hold! She does it again! Another powerbomb against the steel steps! Finishing the sequence with one last powerbomb onto the steel steps, Corlen then squats over Chellios to fart in his unconscious face for good measure.
Linzi Martin: How the hell did you even hear him?!
Emily Corlen: I’m superhuman.
“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers as Larry Gordon comes down the ramp and into the ring, grabbing the spotlight… well because he can. As per usual, since his alignment with the MOA, the fans shower him with boos.
“Boo me all you want, it doesn’t phase me in the slightest.”
He actually smiles, urging them to boo even louder.
“Come on you ignorant pieces of s hit! Reign the boos down! You all think you know it all. You all think you could run a company better than the person actually running it.”
He laughs, they continue to boo.
“You all probably sit at home and when your team wins you claim to be a part of that win. You all probably ain’t got anything to do with claiming your team when they lose. You all could be a better manager. You could all be a better player. Fact is this, you all don’t have sense enough to do anything more than sit back, drink your beer, eat your nachos, and put money into my damn pocket.”
He nods, their booing actually i ntensifies.
“You all hate me, but yet… you come in to the arenas, you buy tickets, you buy pay per views, and still… you boo me while putting that money into my pocket.”
“I like beer.”
Gordon’s head snaps up, he is staring right at Bubba J, who is at the top of the entrance ramp.
Bubba J: “I like beer.”
Heactually holding a beer as he walks down to the end of the ramp.
Bubba: “I like nachos.”
He eats a nacho from a fan, drinks a swallow of beer and stares at Gordon.
Bubba: “And I like beer.”
He finishes off that beer, tossing it at Gordon.
Bubba: “I like one beer.”
He steps up through the ropes.
Bubba: “I like two beers”
He walks up to Gordon.
Bubba: “I like three beers.”
Gordon is furious, he’s glowering at Bubba J with intense hatred.
Bubba J: “Then I like four beers, five beers, six beers…”
The crowd continues, they continue counting, until they fade away after about twelve or so.
Bubba: “I like kicking ass too.”
The crowd laughs.
Bubba: “Almost as much as I like beer.”
Gordon: “You can’t do that any more here, remember you are fired! You aren’t even allowed in the building.”
Bubba J smiles.
Gordon(shouting into the mic): “Security!”
Bubba J smiles.
Bubba: “They won’t be coming out here… they are a little tied up at the moment.”
Gordon: “I’ll sue your ass if you layed a hand on my personal security detail.”
Bubba J motions to the big screen.
Bubba: “I never layed a hand on them… but they are… involved with something.
The camera flashes backstage where the security guards are watching three female strippers… well… strip. They aren’t worried about anything, just watching the women shake what their mama gave them. Gordon is absolutely furious.
Bubba: “Did I mention that I like to kick ass… almost as much as I like beer?”
Gordon: “Doesn’t change the fact that you can’t!”
Bubba J looks at Gordon.
Bubba: “I’ve already had my beer and I see a mighty big ass that needs to be kicked. Fans?!”
They cheer for Bubba J to beat the hell out of Gordon.
Bubba J: “Ain’t happening tonight, because I’m giving you one week to reconsider my contract. One week Gordon… or I’ll do something that will forever change the face of Rebel Pro. The hardcorest motherfucker in the world will do something that will drastically change him forever. The hardcorest motherfucker will be forced to hardcore measures Gordon.”
He gets right in his face.
Bubba J: “Talk to Simon Gordon, he knows the measures I’ll go to… just for a friend… imagine how far I’ll go for my own skin. Ask him about Vanessa Gordon… ask him what I did to her…”
He leans into Gordon’s face.
Bubba J: “Nothing is safe from me Gordon. Nothing is sacred from my wrath. Find out what I’ll go to the lengths for. Sit back and wait… and you’ll pay. Sit in your office and think about this long and hard Gordon… cause next week I want my answer.”
Gordon isn’t shaken, but he immediately thinks about how far Bubba J might go in order to secure what he wants. Larry licks his lips.
Gordon: “My answer isn’t going to change Bubba J… because you will never wrestle in this company again. The name Bubba J will never again compete here in Rebel Pro! I am the owner of this company! I call the shots! When you talk about “the man”… I am that man!”
Bubba J walks away, nodding to himself. He walks back up the ramp, Gordon looking confident and smug. At the top Bubba J turns to glare at Gordon.
Bubba: “Next week Larry, next week.”
“Badass” hits up in the speakers as the fans cheer on Bubba J.
Marvin Wood versus Maya Kalis
“Tears Don’t Fall” by Bullet For My Valentine kicks up. The fans jump to their feet and Maya pops out from the back, jumping up and down as she throws her arms in the air to the applause of the crowd.
Jenny Jersey: Introducing! She weighs in at one hundred and forty five pounds, standing five feet and eleven inches tall!
Your tears don’t fall!
They crash around me!
Her conscience calls!
The guilty to come home!
She begins running down towards the ring, in tight black booty shorts and a black sports bra. Her boyfriend, and PWA star Benjamin Dyce follows closely behind her as her brother and AoWF Television Champion takes his time to survey the area. She slaps the hands of fans as she hops up onto the ring apron and then flips herself right over the top rope into the ring. Fireworks pop off all around the four corners of the ring as she lands, the crowd cheering louder.
Jenny Jersey: She hails from Montreal, Quebec Canada! Accompanied to the ring by Benjamin Dyce and Adrian Kalis! She is…
She finally takes a stance in the center of the ring and makes a gun with her hand, she bends over all the way in front of Benjamin Dyce before shooting herself back to a standing position and “firing the gun”. As she makes the BANG motion pyros explode from all four corners of the ring and above at the arena ceiling.
Jenny Jersey: She is… MAYA!
She takes aim at the entrance ramp and does another “BANG!” motion. Benjamin Dyce and her share a kiss, and it looks like Benjamin Dyce hands her a pair of brass knuckles which she slides over her fist before Benjamin joins Adrian outside of the ring. Both men take a seat at the announcers desk and put on head sets.
Larry Gordon: Oh good, we’ve got company.
Adrian Kalis: That you do Larry! You old fat son of a bitch! How’ve you been?
Benjamin Dyce: Ay, the bloke is a porker ain’t he?
Linzi Martin: Oh my, there is a LOT of testosterone here.
Jenny Jersey: And her opponent!
he first few chords of Edward Elgar’s fourth Pomp & Circumstance March are played from the PA system into the arena. After a few seconds, “The Purist” Marvin Wood appears from behind the curtain with a dour expression on his face. He walks to the middle of the stage area and stands there for a few seconds, to survey the audience. He then begins walking down the entrance-way. Many of the members of the audience boo, some catcall and a few cheer. He looks at no-one as he approaches the ring, but stretches his fingers a bit. He stretches three fingers on each hand, first, and then four fingers on each hand.
Marvin walks towards the ring steps, and walks up them and towards the middle of the apron, sliding his hand over the top rope as he does so. He pauses there for a few seconds, before entering the ring, right leg first and then left leg. He enters the ring with plenty of pomp and circumstance, as if he were a foot taller than he is. He then walks over to the opposite turnbuckle and waits.
Larry Gordon: You armed Maya, everyone saw that Dyce.
Benjamin Dyce: Ay, I did. Marvin’s a wanker.
Adrian Kalis: Yeah fuck that guy.
DING DING DING
Marvin keeps a close eye on Maya as she sways back and forth, arrogantly taunting him to “come at me, bro” as she does. Marvin is also keenly aware of the presence of Dyce and Adrian at ringside, who are sure to be up to no good shenanigans! Maya launches herself forward recklessly, and the veteran Marvin Wood takes advantage immediately with a forearm smash. Maya is stunned, stepping back. Marvin Wood unleashes another forearm smash, and then another. With each hit Maya seems less and less able to maintain her composure until the next forearm smash from Marvin Wood knocks her to the canvas. He grabs her hand and rips off the brass knuckles, chucking them outside the ring and then making it a point to nod in Dyce and Adrian’s direction before locking Maya into a Texas Cloverleaf.
Adrian Kalis: What a dick.
Benjamin Dyce: Ay. He’s a real minger that one.
Larry Gordon: What the hell does that even mean?
Linzi Martin: Sounds hot when you say it though Mr. Dyce. Say it again.
Wood has Maya right where he wants her, as she screams and writhes with pain. Marvin Wood wrenches the move, applying more pressure. He isn’t even breaking a sweat.
Benjamin Dyce: Minger.
Linzi Martin: Hehehehe! Love it!
Maya tries reaching for the bottom ropes, which is pretty pointless in a REBEL Pro ring Marvin must be thinking. Showing her misunderstanding, Wood scoffs and lets her move them to the ropes to toy with her.
Larry Gordon: If she can get to the ropes she can at least avoid losing. Does Marvin realize that?
Adrian Kalis: Well Larry, I don’t know if Marvin Wood gave half a fuck to read up on the REBEL rules. I’m sure he assumes no DQ and no rope break doesn’t count.
Maya grabs onto the bottom rope, almost with tears in her eyes as Wood continues to wrench the move. Maya holds tight and screams for it to stop.
Larry Gordon: Yes. While Wood is not required to break the hold, if she quits or taps out it will not count.
Linzi Martin: Gotta love REBEL Pro!
And tap she does. Maya begins tapping, and Marvin Wood lets go of her, stepping forward triumphantly and raising his hands in the air.
Adrian Kalis: What a fucking idiot. Shhh, no one tell him the match is still on.
The referee tells Wood the match is going to continue, since Maya had one hand on the ropes the tap out will not count. Maya is already out of the ring and she picks up the brass knuckles Wood threw out of the ring. Maya slides back in and Wood immediately goes to her for another forearm smash, but Maya ducks. Whether because she feels weak from the Texas Cloverleaf or not, she buckles and low blows Wood in the royal jewels for his troubles. Wood winces, dropping to his knees. Maya gets to her feet and grabs his head with one hand before laying in a direct shot with that brass knuckles. Wood hits the canvas, and Maya mounts him, locking her legs to his waist and twisting her lower body over him as she lays in shot after shot after shot with those brass knuckles. The crowd roars with approval as Marvin Wood begins to bleed. Maya on her feet gingerly runs to the ropes, bounces and splashes down with an asai moonsault. She hooks the leg!
DING DING DING
The referee shakes his head, claiming it was a two count. Wood looks up, wiping the blood from his face. The camera shows Adrian with the ring bell.
Adrian Kalis: What? Can’t a man screw with the head of the guy trying to beat up his sister? Jeez.
Maya goes for a thrust kick at Wood while he’s down but he grabs her leg, spins her and then rolls her up!
Maya crawls away quickly to regroup. Wood gets to his feet and shakes his head as he looks at her. Maya charges at him but Wood side steps her and grabs her by her hair, spinning her around. With a knife edged chop he burns her chest hard. Maya winces, clutching her chest. Wood elbows her across the back of the head and she hits the canvas. Wood lifts her up and hits a Full Nelson Suplex on Maya, bringing her down hard on the canvas.
Linzi Martin: So this is the first time Maya has competed in REBEL Pro since helping you win the REBEL Pro tag team titles, right?
Adrian Kalis: That’s right. And look at her… Go?
Wood is now on the top turnbuckle, he flies off with a top rope splash! Wood covers!
Larry Gordon: Like all Kalis’, she is none too impressive.
Benjamin Dyce: Come on doll.
Wood sits up, blood still trickling from his forehead. Maya cracks him over the face quickly with another shot with the brass knuckles, sending him back. It gives her time to get back to her feet. She lifts Wood up and quickly hits a corkscrew neckbreaker. Back up again she steps back, stomping her foot from the corner and the crowd cheers wildly. Wood is slow to get to his feet, and as he rises his back is turned to her. He turns around and Maya goes for Perdition! BUT SHE MISSES AS MARVIN WOOD DUCKS THE SUPERKICK! He grabs her and hits the Suplex Labyrinth ! She’s pinned!
Wood holds on, bringing her back up for another suplex and locking the pin in again.
Adrian Kalis: Remember when I faced Marvin for the Victory World title?
Benjamin Dyce: Ay! I do! He paid that referee off to screw you over, ay?
Wood still isn’t going to relent, suplexing Maya once again and once again for a third time locking the pin up. This time Maya looks completely out of it.
Adrian Kalis: Yeah. He paid a referee and stole the Victory World title from my grasp.
Benjamin Dyce: Ay. Was a shameful move, typical of any ned like Wood. Or a chav, maybe he’ll understand that word better.
No? The referee throws himself to the ground, pretending to be hurt just before his hand hit the canvas. Wood lets go of Maya and stands up, looking at the referee. Adrian is already sneaking around the ring and slides in behind Marvin Wood. Wood looks at the announcers table, where Benjamin Dyce waves.
Benjamin Dyce: Ay wanker, you’re right fucked now.
Adrian grabs Wood from behind and locks his arms up, twisting him around and hitting the MasaDriver!!! Adrian is up and so is Maya. Adrian shakes the referee, who opens one eye to see if everything is kosher. Marvin Wood is out cold, if only momentarily. Maya throws herself onto him, and Adrian slides out of the ring and begins walking away.
DING DING DING
Benjamin Dyce: YEAH!
Dyce throws the headset off and helps grab Maya out of the ring, she locks her legs around his waist and smiles as they kiss.
Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, MAYA KALIS!!!
Wood sits up, and does not look pleased one little bit. Benjamin Dyce and Maya make their exit to the backstage now.
Larry Gordon: Payback? Using my company as the stage for that? That referee should be fired!
Linzi Martin: Hell no! Look at how happy the fans are to see Maya triumph! Should be lucky Adrian didn’t make it for the Aggression title!
Wood grabs the REBEL Pro Aggression title from ringside and scoffs at the fans who yell at him as he leaves.
Larry Gordon: I’d have over ruled him.
We’re backstage at Aggression with the current AOWF and PWA Tag Team Champions and also number one contenders to the Rebel Pro Tag Team Championships. Jesus. Matthew Engel has the night off tonight, so he’s dressed in jeans and a black polo with the AOWF logo on his chest. Hayes is in his ring gear, getting prepared for his big title match tonight with that one guy.
Jethro Hayes: Mirror, mirror.. on the wall.. who’s the toughest motherfucker of them all?
Matthew Engel: Snow White could whoop you, Jethro.
Jethro Hayes: No way, son, not with these moves; aiii-yah!
Hayes imitates Karate and is amazingly quick for such a big dude. Engel shrugs his shoulders, a little impressed.
Matthew Engel: Okay, maybe Snow White would have her work cut out for her.
Jethro Hayes: Matt, let’s have a talk.
Hayes sits down in the couch across from Engel’s personalized recliner.
Jethro Hayes: Rumors, Matt. I hears them.
Matthew Engel: Oh, do you now?
Hayes nods and leans back in the couch, tapping the tips of his fingers together like an evil villain. Engel goes back to reading something on his iPhone.
Jethro Hayes: You’re.. not interested?
Matthew Engel: Is it about me?
Jethro Hayes: No.
Matthew Engel: Well… then what do you think?
Hayes is saddened by Engel’s conceitedness.
Jethro Hayes: It’s about someone you know, though. Someone very… very close to you.
Matthew Engel: Does their first name rhyme with jew-fro?
Jethro Hayes: No.. hey! Not cool.
Matthew Engel: Seriously, what’s up with your hair recently?
Hayes shrugs his shoulders.
Jethro Hayes: It’s just poofier than usual.
Matthew Engel: What’s the rumor, man?
Hayes leans in, indicating Matthew to lean in as well. Engel doesn’t really oblige, but manages to look at Jethro.
Jethro Hayes: I hear there is a new company on da rise in the AOWF.
Matthew Engel: No way! That’s crazy!
Engel rolls his eyes and then goes back to reading his iPhone.
Jethro Hayes: Wait, that’s not it! I heard True Glory signed a rookie! Another Engel!
Engel looks up and starts laughing.
Matthew Engel: You hear the craziest shit, Jethro. Didn’t you also try to convince me that Simon Kalis is actually Tupac?
Jethro Hayes: Oh come on, I was so hammered when I thought of that. But what I heard is from a trustworthy source. There’s another Engel in the AOWF.
Matthew Engel: Sources are never trustworthy, Jethro. Trust me, I would know if someone in my family joined a wrestling company.
Jethro Hayes: Are you sure about that?
Engel looks at Hayes, getting irritated. He gets up from his seat.
Matthew Engel: I’m gettin’ a fucking drink. Good luck with your match, asshole.
Engel storms out and Jethro gives his trademark shrug.
The Reunion I
We fade in backstage, specifically to the parking lot of the Aggression Arena where Adrian Kalis is just opening the door to his jet black Mercedes-Benz AMG with Lacey Gloria. The voice we heard while more hoarse than it has ever been, is still recognizable.
Simon Kalis: We need to talk.
Adrian turns to face Simon.
Adrian Kalis: Yeah, old man? What’d you want?
Kalis steps forward, clearing his throat.
Simon Kalis: We’ve got a problem.
Simon turns his head to look over his right shoulder, taking note of the cameras.
Adrian Kalis: Do we? You mad I bribed one of your referees and then cost Marvin Wood a match?
Lacey Gloria: Come on do we need a dick measuring contest again gentlemen?
Simon steps forward, going nose to nose with Adrian before leaning in and whispering in his ears. While the camera doesn’t catch Simons face, it zooms in to show Adrians eyes widening.
Adrian Kalis: You’re sure?
Simon Kalis: Yes. It’s all on you, General.
Simon smiles, stepping back and saluting Adrian. Lacey observes quietly, not quite sure what to make of all of this cryptic nonsense.
Adrian Kalis: So. On top of this UX bullshit you’ve gotten us entangled in…
Simon Kalis: I know.
Adrian shakes his head.
Adrian Kalis: Let’s go, babe.
Adrian gets into the car and slams the door shut, Lacey joins him but not as brashly. With the ignition on, he swerves his way out of the parking lot and speeds off dangerously. Simon crosses his arms behind his back, tilting his head up and nodding.
REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship Match
Jethro Hayes versus Matt Stone©
Linzi Martin: John, what the hell are you doing back out here?! You should be in the hospital!
John Chellios: It’s gonna take more than Emily Corlen to sideline me, “The Greatest of All Time” John Chellios. I’m out here to do my job, to tell these fans how it is, and to put over the fact that Jethro Hayes is gonna be our next World Heavyweight Champion.
Linzi Martin: Well, that’s fine and dandy, John. Just try not to pull the crap you did two matches ago.
John Chellios: What crap? By being truthful? Are you asking me to lie to these people, the REBEL Pro fans?!
Linzi Martin: No, but you need to separate opinion from fact.
John Chellios: Oh, like Matt Stone is the most amazing performer ever to set foot inside a ring is fact?
Linzi Martin: That would be an opinion.
John Chellios: But how can it be an opinion if Matt Stone is world heavyweight champion?! That doesn’t make sense, Linzi. He holds the belt; therefore he should be recognized as such. How disrespectful. Did your mother teacher you that?
Linzi Martin: Leave my mother out of this, John.
John Chellios: Your mother is a whore.
Linzi Martin: John!
John Chellios: There, I said it. It had to be said.
Linzi Martin: Jethro coming out to a beautiful reaction, like always.
John Chellios: A former Ultra Passion follower once said Jethro Hayes is the greatest wrestler the PWA ever produced.
Linzi Martin: Jake Norton? Whatever happened to him?
John Chellios: He’s in a coma. Anyway, I happen to agree with Norton’s sentiments. Not just because Hayes is a blatant icon of this business, but unlike that duck-faced Matt Stone, Hayes embodies what REBEL Pro just to signify. It’s with this in mind I support Hayes’ cause in dethroning & saving REBEL Pro from such awfulness.
Linzi Martin: Matt Stone is a contender for Wrestler of the Year in multiple high profile magazines because of his broad accolades this year alone. He’s won ‘Who’s the Man’? Became World Champion of three brands belonging to the Alliance, and is a sure Hall of Famer. That’s success.
John Chellios: Oh, please. REBEL Pro is a prestigious company, but I can’t tell you how many World Titles I myself accumulated over the years. Does that make me one of the best that ever was? No, because every wrestling promotion has a World title, thus undermining the word. In order to be a World Champion, you need to defeat everyone everywhere.
Linzi Martin: I’m sure Matt Stone shares that sentiment, John, and tonight he doesn’t plan on losing his RXW & REBEL Heavyweight titles to Jethro Hayes.
John Chellios: Which is probably why he’s attacking Jethro from behind! What a coward.
Linzi Martin: Jethro doesn’t collapse. He’s fighting back, too! Clobbering Stone with hammer-like fists.
John Chellios: Stone knees Jethro in the groin! Or the stomach. Maybe even the thigh. I can’t tell.
Linzi Martin: He’s a superheavyweight.
Right after Linzi Martin says that, both Chellios & Martin suddenly go quiet. Don’t worry nothing tragic happened, just technical difficulties. In the midst of Stone’s harsh opening barrage, Jethro’s sharp pointed elbow into a mixture of Stone’s spine and nape soon halt Stone’s flow. Thus two knees to the skull temporarily jumble Stone’s game play and permits Jethro opportunity to hip toss neckbreaker Stone! Scrambling over to Stone, Jethro bombards the member of ‘Stolen Hearts’ with forearms, which soon produce crimson teeth! Having subsided Stone enough for Jethro to deadweight lift Stone onto his back and drop him for an argentine neckbreaker, and a beauty.
Jumping for a cross press, Jethro cannot score a three just yet. In response, Matt Stone is bloody grinning, and it’s directed right at a smirking Jethro who nods in respect. But that nod is soon transformed into a ‘doh’ face when lit up by two explosive jabs to the chin! Falling onto his side, Jethro deliberately rolls away onto the apron as Stone rises like a god damn rattlesnake ready to poison. Swinging another two hits again, Stone misses but slightly grazes Jethro’s face with his last throw as Jethro jumps off the apron, takes hold of Stone’s legs and pulls him outward.
Though Stone is forced to the outside, he immediately finds footing and clobbers Jethro as if a knockout were imminent. Dropping onto his knees, Jethro breathlessly swallows a spinning backfist which sends him headfirst into the barricade, not only producing a sickening thud but a nice ‘OOOOOH’ reaction from the audience. Yanking Jethro upward by his ears, Stone tries to double underhook, but Jethro counters with a release t-bone suplex into the barricade, and it’s spine-first! Thoroughly relentless, Jethro savagely remains in pursuit of Stone’s death via mud-stomping that visually looks so horrible, Linzi commented how she anticipated Stone’s gut to burst, but alas nobody could hear.
Pushing Stone inside the ring after punching thrice at his wounded back, Jethro’ slingshot bodysplashes and goes for the pin. As expected, the promise of ‘never surrender’ lives on as Matt Stone ever so luckily kicks out. Bringing Stone onto his feet, Jethro wraps his muscular arms around the Champion’s waist, pulls backward for a German Suplex! Oh gosh, another one! And another! He’s going for a hat trick! WAIT – STONE WITH THE STOPPER! One sweet elbow smash to Jethro’s nose spills blood instantly, however, more importantly enrages Jethro, prompting him to deliver one spanking overhead German suplex released into the corner! As a bloody-mouthed Stone flies through the air at ridiculous speed, the impact of his back hitting the turnbuckle resulted in the top two buckles breaking just as Stone fell onto his neck for maximum markage! Hayes steps back, smelling victory in his grasp. The crowd can feel it coming as Stone gets to his feet. JEthro Hayes pounces with The Plow! ONLY STONE TURNS AND SEES IT COMING, INSTEAD COUNTERING WITH THE C-C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!!!!! The crowd all jump to their feet in disbelief as Stone quickly covers Hayes.
DING DING DING
Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, and STIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Champion! MATT STONE!!!
Virgil Keenan defeats Bobby Lee
The KKK defeats Golden Inferno
Emily Corlen defeats Vincent Black
Maya Kalis defeats Marvin Wood
Matt Stone defeats Jethro Hayes to retain the RPW World Title