Aggression 9-17-2012

It’s Not Sugaries, but it’s Sugaries

The camera cuts backstage where a high pitched giggling is coming from behind a closed door. Of course, since this is the camera and this is interesting, and because the door is closed; we go right on in. Bobby Lee is sitting cross legged on top of a computer monitor, somehow managing to balance there while rocking the monitor back and forth as though its a rocking chair or a surfboard.

BL: “These are good sugaries.”

Jeremy Gold comes into the frame, or actually the camera zooms out to find him sitting behind a desk, is it his desk? Well, it doesn’t matter but he’s got some more powder, nose candy, sitting in front of him.

JG: “Its not sugaries man… its… its…”

Bobby nods, he seems to understand.

BL: “Its sugaries.”

Gold nods as he looks up at Bobby Lee with wide eyed amazement at his intelligence and cunning.

JG: “Exactly, its not sugaries, but its sugaries.”

It makes no sense, but then again they don’t make sense to anyone else, but themselves.

JG: “Man, you got to try something else… you’ll love it.”

Lee titls his head, listening and waiting; he falls off the monitor. However, even though he has fallen, he is still cross legged and his eyes are still wide open.

JG: “Oh shit man… you are fucked up.”

Lee giggles, but still doesn’t blink.

BL: “Ouch.”

He snickers.

JG: “Shit man… I forgot… you got a match. later tonight.”

Bobby looks at Gold in confusion.

BL: “A match?”

Gold nods.

BL: “You smoke these sugaries too?”

Gold smiles, possibly having found a new best friend, only time will tell. We slowly back out of the door.

Because Fuck You Virgin! Singles Match

Virgil Keenan versus Bobby Lee

With the ending lyrics Bobby lee pastes himself in the ring, he has a quiver about him as he watches the Stage way. With a thundering cloud the music hits the speaker system, the match is about to begin, the question now is if I silent Virgil this week lead to a silent no show.


With that bobby lee hits the ground. The Masked wrestler known as Virgil Keenan stands over the writhing body, swiftly thrusting and gouging into the white flesh with the head of the steel.

Gordon:“What the hell?! This is some backwards hypocritical bullshit. I thought he hated hardcore.”

Virgil circles the kid with steel chair jabs, putting his full upper body into the strikes. He taunts the crowd a bit, signaling for a microphone as the bell rings. The fans who are historically vocal aren’t sure how to react until Keenan’s voice hits up.

Keenan:”Hey, hey! Bobby my buddy, can I ask you a question? Simple one.”

Virgil Slams the chair down again into his back, small spurts of life get drowned away in Lee’s Consciousness.

Virgil: “Does it FEEL like I’m better than you?”

Keenan drops to a knee and shoves the microphone into the wrestlers face, pitiful is the reply. Lee is whimpering and crying. A slap to the face and a kick to the arm rolls the wrestler over another few jabs.

Keenan: “Becaus if i feel anything, it’s that i’m a better wrestler than Bobby Lee. Right? Right guys? I’m asserting my obvious, overwhelming, tactical whit, my skill, my athletic ability in contest right now.”

A few more brutal shots to the kid.

Keenan: “Oh, we’re having a ball here tonight in the name of competition right Bobby? You’re throwing your best effort, everything you learned while you trained to become a wrestler. You’re combining your ability to adapt and evolve as the match goes on.”

A slam in the back, Bobby cries out in obvious torture.


Another shot.


Keenan kicks him swiftly in the face before wailing at the side of his body.


Keenan places his boot on Bobby’s chest.




Virgil: “WHAT A MATCH!”

Virgil: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout, and the most skilled, talented, and proven, hailing out of the best company in the world, Rebel Pro, he is the Alternative, The hardcore legend, the king of the steel chair, genocidal, homicidal, Virgil Keenan.”

Keenan slams the chair back down one more time.

Virgil:“I think I’ve made my point…..”

Bunkering Down

Knock. Knock. The door opens and in walks Jeremy Gold, briefcase in hand. He drops the briefcase on Simon Kalis’ desk and sighs in huge relief as he plops himself down on the office chair opposite the man himself.

Jeremy Gold: There!

Simon Kalis: Is it all in there?

Jeremy Gold: All the ratings and financial reports of the last fiscal year, neatly organized and ready for you to pour over.

Kalis kicks his feet up and lights a cigarette.

Simon Kalis: Well. It’s a start. Should help us calculate for any eventualities…

He pauses to take a drag off his cigarette.

Simon Kalis: And prepare any contingencies.

Jeremy Gold: Simon… As probably your oldest and only real friend, can I ask you something?

Simon Kalis: Shoot.

Gold wipes the sweat off his brow nervously.

Jeremy Gold: Is all of this really… Wise?

Simon Kalis: Which part?

Jeremy Gold: Oh I don’t know. Preparing for the complete and utter collapse of the AoWF for one, and then picking a fight with an entire federation outside of the AoWF.

Simon Kalis: I’ve got too much of my fucking money tied up in REBEL Pro to see it shit the bed and close up like RXW and Victory. I need to get this done, and to make sure everything is on the table and we’re financially capable of lasting any crisis. Besides, UX is a big part of that. It’s all about increasing the ratings, driving interest up! Come on Jer, keep up.

Gold sighs. Kalis smokes.

Jeremy Gold: I guess I didn’t really take you for the numbers kind of guy. To sit here and sift through all this stuff…

Kalis stands up and stretches, walking past Gold and patting him on the back.

Simon Kalis: Hell no. You’re going to sit here and go over all the boring stuff. It’s what I pay for you, pal. One more thing.

Jeremy Gold: Yeah?

Simon Kalis: Tell your new boyfriend Bobby Lee I said hello.

Kalis whistles as he leaves the office, Gold slams his face on the desk in despair as we fade to ringside…

Tag Team Match

Kontroversy Kreates Kake versus Golden Inferno

Both teams came out with their respective entrances and it was grand! The crowd was obviously excited to witness Anna Mathews and Johnny Maverick teaming up for the first time in Rebel Pro. They were kind of excited for Golden Inferno, too, who actually got a win last week against Vincent Black and Abbie Graves. The bell sounded and Anna started out for KKK while the INFERNO started out for GI.

Linzi Martin: Anna just kicked the INFERNO in the face!

Larry Gordon: Why are you emphasizing Inferno so much?

Linzi Martin: I’m not, his name is the INFERNO.

Larry Gordon: Whatever, chucklehead. Inferno is down hard and Anna dares Jeremy Gold to step into the ring.

Gold is freaking out on the apron, shaking his head as the crowd is yelling at him to get in the ring.

Larry Gordon: Oh my Lord is Jeremy Gold getting in the ring?

Linzi Martin: Hey Johnny Maverick is totally making out with that hot red head.

Larry Gordon: Oh Lord! Gingers terrify me.

Jeremy steps into the ring and slowly walks over to adorable Anna. He gives one last sigh of relief, but wait!

Larry Gordon: The INFERNO is alive!

Linzi Martin: Hey you got his name right. The INFERNO gets up to his feet and he… sets himself on fire! IDIOT!

The Inferno rolls out of the ring. Johnny Maverick is interrupted by The Inferno being on fire. Johnny Maverick hates being interrupted, and TONY JAA’s Inferno over the barricade while EMT’s soak him with a fire extinguisher.

Linzi Martin: And Anna takes Jeremy Gold down with the Boomerfly Kick! This one’s over.

Larry Gordon: Was there ever any doubt?

Anna covers Jeremy Gold, who’s completely out cold and chances are soiled his pants before getting KO’d.





Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match by pinfall… KONTROVERSY KREATES KAKE!

Johnny hops into the ring and celebrates with her partner. They eat some cake, while Jeremy Gold is stretchered out of the ring and backstage. The INFERNO isn’t dead as the fire was put out. Happy endings!

Armed Assault 2012

Armed Assault logo

REBEL Pro proudly presents: ARMED ASSAULT 2012!
LIVE! From the PWA Dome in St. Louis, Missouri on October 1st, 2012!


Emily Corlen versus Vincent Black

Linzi Martin: Welcome back, everybody. Alongside me for the time being is current Underground X wrestler & follower of the Ultra Passion Movement, John Chellios!

John Chellios: Hello people! It’s me, John Chellios, and boy, oh boy, boy-boy, boy, do we have a match for you in a minute.

Linzi Martin: Tell it like it is, John.

John Chellios: Don’t mind if I do, Lizzy! You see, people, Vincent Black is one tough son-of-a-bitch. He’s very tall, he’s well-built, and he’s dark. Not just skin-wise but that heart of his is dark as hell, I must say. I look at Vincent Black and think, “this guy.. No wonder he’s a Triple Crown champion. No wonder he’s one of the most recognizable faces in REBEL history. No wonder Emily Corlen is shaking in her boots – “

Linzi Martin: I doubt Emily is scared, John. She’s scared of no one. According to her application, that’s one of Emily’s qualities.

John Chellios: Well, I saw Emily earlier today, and you know what she told me?

Linzi Martin: No, what?

John Chellios: She said, “John, I don’t think I have what it takes. I don’t think I can handle taking down Vincent Black.”

Linzi Martin: You’re lying, John. Emily Corlen is a multi world champion. She’s taken the best of the best, and Vincent Black has seen better days.

John Chellios: You’re entitled to your opinion, Linzi, but Emily is a pussy.

Linzi Martin: John!

John Chellios: There, I said it. It had to be said.

Linzi Martin: For heaven’s sake, John, that’s not very nice.

John Chellios: Nice? NICE?! You wanna talk about nice? Let’s talk about the Ultra Passion Movement. The Mainerishi says,

Linzi Martin: You save that Underground X talk for the Blacklist, John. Right now, we gotta call this match, so do your job.

John Chellios: Well, not much to report at the moment, is there? We have Emily Corlen entering to her music, a mixed reception, and I definitely understand the negativity.

Linzi Martin: People like Corlen because she reminds them of a superhero. She can rise above, and when she does, she conquers like a bad lady from Sri Lanka!

John Chellios: And those who don’t like this bi-polar, irrational, overly hyped, two-faced, sloppy worker whose only good enough to hold Matt Stone’s jock strap, piece of plastic that deserves to be destroyed, not recycled.

Linzi Martin: Did Emily kick your dog? Why all this hate? Anyway, Vincent Black is out to a lukewarm response. He’s a cult favorite.

John Chellios: Before I joined the Ultra Passion Movement, and by before I mean approximately three hours prior to my registration, I was in a tattoo shop considering getting Vincent Black’s name tattooed across my throat.

Linzi Martin: .. What stopped you?

John Chellios: I am terrified of needles.

Linzi Martin: Finally, this match is underway, with Emily Corlen quick on the offensive with a mixture of body shots, dodging and chops.

John Chellios: Gotta give credit where credit’s due, Lizzy. Corlen is flabbergasting Black beyond. Someone 5’6 is whopping a 6’11 ‘roid freak.

Linzi Martin: Vincent Black doesn’t do steroids.

John Chellios: Anybody as bulky as he is must. That’s not natural.

Linzi Martin: Are you sure?

John Chellios: Positive.

Linzi Martin: Fancy a bet?

John Chellios: Ten bucks says he is.

Linzi Martin: Deal. OH! Vincent lays Corlen out with a spinning side slam! Yet he couldn’t even obtain a one count.

John Chellios: Stomping away at her is a sure way to enable more effective moves, such as this – High Angle SPINEBUSTER! Corlen’s head bounced off the canvas like a rubber ball!

Linzi Martin: Come to think of it, I remember hearing Corlen is supposedly a juicer lover too.

John Chellios: To be honest, Lizzy, Corlen should do pornography.

Linzi Martin: What?!

John Chellios: Any muscular woman that’s ever been a pro’ wrestler at one point did porn. That’s a fact. Emily Corlen should join the circle of life.

Linzi Martin: You’re an idiot, and nonsensical; and completely irrelevant to this match; a match where Vincent’s powerbomb to Corlen almost got a two count, but ‘the flaming phoenix of emerald cartridge in sands of esophagus’ Emily Corlen will have none of it! Rebounding with a headbutt, Corlen then takes off her boot.. What?!

John Chellios: She’s taking off her boot, and now removing her sweaty sock. Oh dear lord.

Linzi Martin: As Vincent sits upward, Corlen bashes her foot against Vincent’s face repeatedly! 6 – 8- 11- Oh hell, I can’t keep up with her.

John Chellios: Put your damn boot on, Corlen! Nobody wanna see your nasty foot!

Linzi Martin: Except that guy in the front row. He looks aroused..

John Chellios: To be honest, hur-hur, I am a bit too. But who can blame me? This is Emily Corlen we’re talking about here. She’s the cult of personality for a damn reason, Lizzy. Emily is a PWA World Champion, a former TGW World Champion & a BWF World Champion. She’s done it all. That’s why, when I see her shoving her foot inside Vincent’s mouth, as I do now, I know she does it superiorly. Ain’t nobody capable of doing the nasty, ridiculous shit she does.

Linzi Martin: I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or an insult. Nevertheless, returning to the action, Corlen is dropping knees repeatedly across Vincent’s throat, as he struggles to land a punch.

John Chellios: She swats them away like coherent & credible promos.

Linzi Martin: Jesus, shut your mouth & call the match without bias! Corlen pulls Vincent up to his feet by his big floppy ears.

John Chellios: I’m laying the challenge down now. Corlen, I know you don’t have balls, but I mean this metaphorically, if you got the balls to face me at any place, any time; it don’t matter! Face me like a man, you woman who pretends to be a man sometimes by making weird associations in your cringe-worthy promos!

Linzi Martin: How about you be a man and challenge her after the match, John? She can’t hear you from inside the ring. She’s busy planting Vincent with a double underhook facebuster, taking this match down in flames! She flips him over, strikes him twice in the face by her right knee, cross presses, and-

John Chellios: That’s the three! Well done, Emily. You finally win a match of value.

Linzi Martin: Uhm, Corlen has won plenty of matches.

John Chellios: Yeah? But did she defeat someone under seven minutes?

Linzi Martin: Yes.

John Chellios: Against who?

Linzi Martin: I don’t know.

John Chellios: Exactly, that’s why when I say –

Punched in the head, Chellios’ distracted ramble allowed Emily Corlen to continue punching him multiple times! Pulling him away from his commentary station, Corlen Irish Whips Chellios into steel steps nearby! Placing John’s head between her thunder thighs, Corlen lifts him up and drops him once with a powerbomb! But she won’t release the hold! She does it again! Another powerbomb against the steel steps! Finishing the sequence with one last powerbomb onto the steel steps, Corlen then squats over Chellios to fart in his unconscious face for good measure.

Linzi Martin: How the hell did you even hear him?!


Emily Corlen: I’m superhuman.

One Week

“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers as Larry Gordon comes down the ramp and into the ring, grabbing the spotlight… well because he can. As per usual, since his alignment with the MOA, the fans shower him with boos.

“Boo me all you want, it doesn’t phase me in the slightest.”

He actually smiles, urging them to boo even louder.

“Come on you ignorant pieces of s hit! Reign the boos down! You all think you know it all. You all think you could run a company better than the person actually running it.”

He laughs, they continue to boo.

“You all probably sit at home and when your team wins you claim to be a part of that win. You all probably ain’t got anything to do with claiming your team when they lose. You all could be a better manager. You could all be a better player. Fact is this, you all don’t have sense enough to do anything more than sit back, drink your beer, eat your nachos, and put money into my damn pocket.”

He nods, their booing actually i ntensifies.

“You all hate me, but yet… you come in to the arenas, you buy tickets, you buy pay per views, and still… you boo me while putting that money into my pocket.”

He laughs.

“I like beer.”

Gordon’s head snaps up, he is staring right at Bubba J, who is at the top of the entrance ramp.

Bubba J: “I like beer.”

Heactually holding a beer as he walks down to the end of the ramp.

Bubba: “I like nachos.”

He eats a nacho from a fan, drinks a swallow of beer and stares at Gordon.

Bubba: “And I like beer.”

He finishes off that beer, tossing it at Gordon.

Bubba: “I like one beer.”

He steps up through the ropes.

Bubba: “I like two beers”

He walks up to Gordon.

Bubba: “I like three beers.”

Gordon is furious, he’s glowering at Bubba J with intense hatred.

Bubba J: “Then I like four beers, five beers, six beers…”

The crowd continues, they continue counting, until they fade away after about twelve or so.

Bubba: “I like kicking ass too.”

The crowd laughs.

Bubba: “Almost as much as I like beer.”

Gordon snarls.

Gordon: “You can’t do that any more here, remember you are fired! You aren’t even allowed in the building.”

Bubba J smiles.

Gordon(shouting into the mic): “Security!”

Bubba J smiles.

Bubba: “They won’t be coming out here… they are a little tied up at the moment.”

Gordon: “I’ll sue your ass if you layed a hand on my personal security detail.”

Bubba J motions to the big screen.

Bubba: “I never layed a hand on them… but they are… involved with something.

The camera flashes backstage where the security guards are watching three female strippers… well… strip. They aren’t worried about anything, just watching the women shake what their mama gave them. Gordon is absolutely furious.

Bubba: “Did I mention that I like to kick ass… almost as much as I like beer?”

Gordon: “Doesn’t change the fact that you can’t!”

Bubba J looks at Gordon.

Bubba: “I’ve already had my beer and I see a mighty big ass that needs to be kicked. Fans?!”

They cheer for Bubba J to beat the hell out of Gordon.

Bubba J: “Ain’t happening tonight, because I’m giving you one week to reconsider my contract. One week Gordon… or I’ll do something that will forever change the face of Rebel Pro. The hardcorest motherfucker in the world will do something that will drastically change him forever. The hardcorest motherfucker will be forced to hardcore measures Gordon.”

He gets right in his face.

Bubba J: “Talk to Simon Gordon, he knows the measures I’ll go to… just for a friend… imagine how far I’ll go for my own skin. Ask him about Vanessa Gordon… ask him what I did to her…”

He leans into Gordon’s face.

Bubba J: “Nothing is safe from me Gordon. Nothing is sacred from my wrath. Find out what I’ll go to the lengths for. Sit back and wait… and you’ll pay. Sit in your office and think about this long and hard Gordon… cause next week I want my answer.”

Gordon isn’t shaken, but he immediately thinks about how far Bubba J might go in order to secure what he wants. Larry licks his lips.

Gordon: “My answer isn’t going to change Bubba J… because you will never wrestle in this company again. The name Bubba J will never again compete here in Rebel Pro! I am the owner of this company! I call the shots! When you talk about “the man”… I am that man!”

Bubba J walks away, nodding to himself. He walks back up the ramp, Gordon looking confident and smug. At the top Bubba J turns to glare at Gordon.

Bubba: “Next week Larry, next week.”

“Badass” hits up in the speakers as the fans cheer on Bubba J.

Non-Title Match

Marvin Wood versus Maya Kalis

LET’S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Tears Don’t Fall” by Bullet For My Valentine kicks up. The fans jump to their feet and Maya pops out from the back, jumping up and down as she throws her arms in the air to the applause of the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing! She weighs in at one hundred and forty five pounds, standing five feet and eleven inches tall!

Your tears don’t fall!
They crash around me!
Her conscience calls!
The guilty to come home!

She begins running down towards the ring, in tight black booty shorts and a black sports bra. Her boyfriend, and PWA star Benjamin Dyce follows closely behind her as her brother and AoWF Television Champion takes his time to survey the area. She slaps the hands of fans as she hops up onto the ring apron and then flips herself right over the top rope into the ring. Fireworks pop off all around the four corners of the ring as she lands, the crowd cheering louder.

Jenny Jersey: She hails from Montreal, Quebec Canada! Accompanied to the ring by Benjamin Dyce and Adrian Kalis! She is…

She finally takes a stance in the center of the ring and makes a gun with her hand, she bends over all the way in front of Benjamin Dyce before shooting herself back to a standing position and “firing the gun”. As she makes the BANG motion pyros explode from all four corners of the ring and above at the arena ceiling.

Jenny Jersey: She is… MAYA!

She takes aim at the entrance ramp and does another “BANG!” motion. Benjamin Dyce and her share a kiss, and it looks like Benjamin Dyce hands her a pair of brass knuckles which she slides over her fist before Benjamin joins Adrian outside of the ring. Both men take a seat at the announcers desk and put on head sets.

Larry Gordon: Oh good, we’ve got company.

Adrian Kalis: That you do Larry! You old fat son of a bitch! How’ve you been?

Benjamin Dyce: Ay, the bloke is a porker ain’t he?

Linzi Martin: Oh my, there is a LOT of testosterone here.

Jenny Jersey: And her opponent!

he first few chords of Edward Elgar’s fourth Pomp & Circumstance March are played from the PA system into the arena. After a few seconds, “The Purist” Marvin Wood appears from behind the curtain with a dour expression on his face. He walks to the middle of the stage area and stands there for a few seconds, to survey the audience. He then begins walking down the entrance-way. Many of the members of the audience boo, some catcall and a few cheer. He looks at no-one as he approaches the ring, but stretches his fingers a bit. He stretches three fingers on each hand, first, and then four fingers on each hand.

Marvin walks towards the ring steps, and walks up them and towards the middle of the apron, sliding his hand over the top rope as he does so. He pauses there for a few seconds, before entering the ring, right leg first and then left leg. He enters the ring with plenty of pomp and circumstance, as if he were a foot taller than he is. He then walks over to the opposite turnbuckle and waits.

Larry Gordon: You armed Maya, everyone saw that Dyce.

Benjamin Dyce: Ay, I did. Marvin’s a wanker.

Adrian Kalis: Yeah fuck that guy.


Marvin keeps a close eye on Maya as she sways back and forth, arrogantly taunting him to “come at me, bro” as she does. Marvin is also keenly aware of the presence of Dyce and Adrian at ringside, who are sure to be up to no good shenanigans! Maya launches herself forward recklessly, and the veteran Marvin Wood takes advantage immediately with a forearm smash. Maya is stunned, stepping back. Marvin Wood unleashes another forearm smash, and then another. With each hit Maya seems less and less able to maintain her composure until the next forearm smash from Marvin Wood knocks her to the canvas. He grabs her hand and rips off the brass knuckles, chucking them outside the ring and then making it a point to nod in Dyce and Adrian’s direction before locking Maya into a Texas Cloverleaf.

Adrian Kalis: What a dick.

Benjamin Dyce: Ay. He’s a real minger that one.

Larry Gordon: What the hell does that even mean?

Linzi Martin: Sounds hot when you say it though Mr. Dyce. Say it again.

Wood has Maya right where he wants her, as she screams and writhes with pain. Marvin Wood wrenches the move, applying more pressure. He isn’t even breaking a sweat.

Benjamin Dyce: Minger.

Linzi Martin: Hehehehe! Love it!

Maya tries reaching for the bottom ropes, which is pretty pointless in a REBEL Pro ring Marvin must be thinking. Showing her misunderstanding, Wood scoffs and lets her move them to the ropes to toy with her.

Larry Gordon: If she can get to the ropes she can at least avoid losing. Does Marvin realize that?

Adrian Kalis: Well Larry, I don’t know if Marvin Wood gave half a fuck to read up on the REBEL rules. I’m sure he assumes no DQ and no rope break doesn’t count.

Maya grabs onto the bottom rope, almost with tears in her eyes as Wood continues to wrench the move. Maya holds tight and screams for it to stop.

Larry Gordon: Yes. While Wood is not required to break the hold, if she quits or taps out it will not count.

Linzi Martin: Gotta love REBEL Pro!

And tap she does. Maya begins tapping, and Marvin Wood lets go of her, stepping forward triumphantly and raising his hands in the air.

Adrian Kalis: What a fucking idiot. Shhh, no one tell him the match is still on.

The referee tells Wood the match is going to continue, since Maya had one hand on the ropes the tap out will not count. Maya is already out of the ring and she picks up the brass knuckles Wood threw out of the ring. Maya slides back in and Wood immediately goes to her for another forearm smash, but Maya ducks. Whether because she feels weak from the Texas Cloverleaf or not, she buckles and low blows Wood in the royal jewels for his troubles. Wood winces, dropping to his knees. Maya gets to her feet and grabs his head with one hand before laying in a direct shot with that brass knuckles. Wood hits the canvas, and Maya mounts him, locking her legs to his waist and twisting her lower body over him as she lays in shot after shot after shot with those brass knuckles. The crowd roars with approval as Marvin Wood begins to bleed. Maya on her feet gingerly runs to the ropes, bounces and splashes down with an asai moonsault. She hooks the leg!





The referee shakes his head, claiming it was a two count. Wood looks up, wiping the blood from his face. The camera shows Adrian with the ring bell.

Adrian Kalis: What? Can’t a man screw with the head of the guy trying to beat up his sister? Jeez.

Maya goes for a thrust kick at Wood while he’s down but he grabs her leg, spins her and then rolls her up!




Maya crawls away quickly to regroup. Wood gets to his feet and shakes his head as he looks at her. Maya charges at him but Wood side steps her and grabs her by her hair, spinning her around. With a knife edged chop he burns her chest hard. Maya winces, clutching her chest. Wood elbows her across the back of the head and she hits the canvas. Wood lifts her up and hits a Full Nelson Suplex on Maya, bringing her down hard on the canvas.

Linzi Martin: So this is the first time Maya has competed in REBEL Pro since helping you win the REBEL Pro tag team titles, right?

Adrian Kalis: That’s right. And look at her… Go?

Wood is now on the top turnbuckle, he flies off with a top rope splash! Wood covers!


Larry Gordon: Like all Kalis’, she is none too impressive.


Benjamin Dyce: Come on doll.


Wood sits up, blood still trickling from his forehead. Maya cracks him over the face quickly with another shot with the brass knuckles, sending him back. It gives her time to get back to her feet. She lifts Wood up and quickly hits a corkscrew neckbreaker. Back up again she steps back, stomping her foot from the corner and the crowd cheers wildly. Wood is slow to get to his feet, and as he rises his back is turned to her. He turns around and Maya goes for Perdition! BUT SHE MISSES AS MARVIN WOOD DUCKS THE SUPERKICK! He grabs her and hits the Suplex Labyrinth ! She’s pinned!




Wood holds on, bringing her back up for another suplex and locking the pin in again.


Adrian Kalis: Remember when I faced Marvin for the Victory World title?


Benjamin Dyce: Ay! I do! He paid that referee off to screw you over, ay?


Wood still isn’t going to relent, suplexing Maya once again and once again for a third time locking the pin up. This time Maya looks completely out of it.


Adrian Kalis: Yeah. He paid a referee and stole the Victory World title from my grasp.


Benjamin Dyce: Ay. Was a shameful move, typical of any ned like Wood. Or a chav, maybe he’ll understand that word better.


No? The referee throws himself to the ground, pretending to be hurt just before his hand hit the canvas. Wood lets go of Maya and stands up, looking at the referee. Adrian is already sneaking around the ring and slides in behind Marvin Wood. Wood looks at the announcers table, where Benjamin Dyce waves.

Benjamin Dyce: Ay wanker, you’re right fucked now.

Adrian grabs Wood from behind and locks his arms up, twisting him around and hitting the MasaDriver!!! Adrian is up and so is Maya. Adrian shakes the referee, who opens one eye to see if everything is kosher. Marvin Wood is out cold, if only momentarily. Maya throws herself onto him, and Adrian slides out of the ring and begins walking away.





Benjamin Dyce: YEAH!

Dyce throws the headset off and helps grab Maya out of the ring, she locks her legs around his waist and smiles as they kiss.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, MAYA KALIS!!!

Wood sits up, and does not look pleased one little bit. Benjamin Dyce and Maya make their exit to the backstage now.

Larry Gordon: Payback? Using my company as the stage for that? That referee should be fired!

Linzi Martin: Hell no! Look at how happy the fans are to see Maya triumph! Should be lucky Adrian didn’t make it for the Aggression title!

Wood grabs the REBEL Pro Aggression title from ringside and scoffs at the fans who yell at him as he leaves.

Larry Gordon: I’d have over ruled him.


We’re backstage at Aggression with the current AOWF and PWA Tag Team Champions and also number one contenders to the Rebel Pro Tag Team Championships. Jesus. Matthew Engel has the night off tonight, so he’s dressed in jeans and a black polo with the AOWF logo on his chest. Hayes is in his ring gear, getting prepared for his big title match tonight with that one guy.

Jethro Hayes: Mirror, mirror.. on the wall.. who’s the toughest motherfucker of them all?

Engel laughs.

Matthew Engel: Snow White could whoop you, Jethro.

Jethro Hayes: No way, son, not with these moves; aiii-yah!

Hayes imitates Karate and is amazingly quick for such a big dude. Engel shrugs his shoulders, a little impressed.

Matthew Engel: Okay, maybe Snow White would have her work cut out for her.

Jethro Hayes: Matt, let’s have a talk.

Hayes sits down in the couch across from Engel’s personalized recliner.

Jethro Hayes: Rumors, Matt. I hears them.

Matthew Engel: Oh, do you now?

Hayes nods and leans back in the couch, tapping the tips of his fingers together like an evil villain. Engel goes back to reading something on his iPhone.

Jethro Hayes: You’re.. not interested?

Matthew Engel: Is it about me?

Jethro Hayes: No.

Matthew Engel: Well… then what do you think?

Hayes is saddened by Engel’s conceitedness.

Jethro Hayes: It’s about someone you know, though. Someone very… very close to you.

Matthew Engel: Does their first name rhyme with jew-fro?

Jethro Hayes: No.. hey! Not cool.

Matthew Engel: Seriously, what’s up with your hair recently?

Hayes shrugs his shoulders.

Jethro Hayes: It’s just poofier than usual.

Matthew Engel: What’s the rumor, man?

Hayes leans in, indicating Matthew to lean in as well. Engel doesn’t really oblige, but manages to look at Jethro.

Jethro Hayes: I hear there is a new company on da rise in the AOWF.

Matthew Engel: No way! That’s crazy!

Engel rolls his eyes and then goes back to reading his iPhone.

Jethro Hayes: Wait, that’s not it! I heard True Glory signed a rookie! Another Engel!

Engel looks up and starts laughing.

Matthew Engel: You hear the craziest shit, Jethro. Didn’t you also try to convince me that Simon Kalis is actually Tupac?

Jethro Hayes: Oh come on, I was so hammered when I thought of that. But what I heard is from a trustworthy source. There’s another Engel in the AOWF.

Matthew Engel: Sources are never trustworthy, Jethro. Trust me, I would know if someone in my family joined a wrestling company.

Jethro Hayes: Are you sure about that?

Engel looks at Hayes, getting irritated. He gets up from his seat.

Matthew Engel: I’m gettin’ a fucking drink. Good luck with your match, asshole.

Engel storms out and Jethro gives his trademark shrug.

The Reunion I

Voice: Wait.

We fade in backstage, specifically to the parking lot of the Aggression Arena where Adrian Kalis is just opening the door to his jet black Mercedes-Benz AMG with Lacey Gloria. The voice we heard while more hoarse than it has ever been, is still recognizable.

Simon Kalis: We need to talk.

Adrian turns to face Simon.

Adrian Kalis: Yeah, old man? What’d you want?

Kalis steps forward, clearing his throat.

Simon Kalis: We’ve got a problem.

Simon turns his head to look over his right shoulder, taking note of the cameras.

Adrian Kalis: Do we? You mad I bribed one of your referees and then cost Marvin Wood a match?

Lacey Gloria: Come on do we need a dick measuring contest again gentlemen?

Simon steps forward, going nose to nose with Adrian before leaning in and whispering in his ears. While the camera doesn’t catch Simons face, it zooms in to show Adrians eyes widening.

Adrian Kalis: You’re sure?

Simon Kalis: Yes. It’s all on you, General.

Simon smiles, stepping back and saluting Adrian. Lacey observes quietly, not quite sure what to make of all of this cryptic nonsense.

Adrian Kalis: So. On top of this UX bullshit you’ve gotten us entangled in…

Simon Kalis: I know.

Adrian shakes his head.

Adrian Kalis: Let’s go, babe.

Adrian gets into the car and slams the door shut, Lacey joins him but not as brashly. With the ignition on, he swerves his way out of the parking lot and speeds off dangerously. Simon crosses his arms behind his back, tilting his head up and nodding.

REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship Match

Jethro Hayes versus Matt Stone©

Linzi Martin: John, what the hell are you doing back out here?! You should be in the hospital!

John Chellios: It’s gonna take more than Emily Corlen to sideline me, “The Greatest of All Time” John Chellios. I’m out here to do my job, to tell these fans how it is, and to put over the fact that Jethro Hayes is gonna be our next World Heavyweight Champion.

Linzi Martin: Well, that’s fine and dandy, John. Just try not to pull the crap you did two matches ago.

John Chellios: What crap? By being truthful? Are you asking me to lie to these people, the REBEL Pro fans?!

Linzi Martin: No, but you need to separate opinion from fact.

John Chellios: Oh, like Matt Stone is the most amazing performer ever to set foot inside a ring is fact?

Linzi Martin: That would be an opinion.

John Chellios: But how can it be an opinion if Matt Stone is world heavyweight champion?! That doesn’t make sense, Linzi. He holds the belt; therefore he should be recognized as such. How disrespectful. Did your mother teacher you that?

Linzi Martin: Leave my mother out of this, John.

John Chellios: Your mother is a whore.

Linzi Martin: John!

John Chellios: There, I said it. It had to be said.

Linzi Martin: Jethro coming out to a beautiful reaction, like always.

John Chellios: A former Ultra Passion follower once said Jethro Hayes is the greatest wrestler the PWA ever produced.

Linzi Martin: Jake Norton? Whatever happened to him?

John Chellios: He’s in a coma. Anyway, I happen to agree with Norton’s sentiments. Not just because Hayes is a blatant icon of this business, but unlike that duck-faced Matt Stone, Hayes embodies what REBEL Pro just to signify. It’s with this in mind I support Hayes’ cause in dethroning & saving REBEL Pro from such awfulness.

Linzi Martin: Matt Stone is a contender for Wrestler of the Year in multiple high profile magazines because of his broad accolades this year alone. He’s won ‘Who’s the Man’? Became World Champion of three brands belonging to the Alliance, and is a sure Hall of Famer. That’s success.

John Chellios: Oh, please. REBEL Pro is a prestigious company, but I can’t tell you how many World Titles I myself accumulated over the years. Does that make me one of the best that ever was? No, because every wrestling promotion has a World title, thus undermining the word. In order to be a World Champion, you need to defeat everyone everywhere.

Linzi Martin: I’m sure Matt Stone shares that sentiment, John, and tonight he doesn’t plan on losing his RXW & REBEL Heavyweight titles to Jethro Hayes.

John Chellios: Which is probably why he’s attacking Jethro from behind! What a coward.

Linzi Martin: Jethro doesn’t collapse. He’s fighting back, too! Clobbering Stone with hammer-like fists.

John Chellios: Stone knees Jethro in the groin! Or the stomach. Maybe even the thigh. I can’t tell.

Linzi Martin: He’s a superheavyweight.

Right after Linzi Martin says that, both Chellios & Martin suddenly go quiet. Don’t worry nothing tragic happened, just technical difficulties. In the midst of Stone’s harsh opening barrage, Jethro’s sharp pointed elbow into a mixture of Stone’s spine and nape soon halt Stone’s flow. Thus two knees to the skull temporarily jumble Stone’s game play and permits Jethro opportunity to hip toss neckbreaker Stone! Scrambling over to Stone, Jethro bombards the member of ‘Stolen Hearts’ with forearms, which soon produce crimson teeth! Having subsided Stone enough for Jethro to deadweight lift Stone onto his back and drop him for an argentine neckbreaker, and a beauty.

Jumping for a cross press, Jethro cannot score a three just yet. In response, Matt Stone is bloody grinning, and it’s directed right at a smirking Jethro who nods in respect. But that nod is soon transformed into a ‘doh’ face when lit up by two explosive jabs to the chin! Falling onto his side, Jethro deliberately rolls away onto the apron as Stone rises like a god damn rattlesnake ready to poison. Swinging another two hits again, Stone misses but slightly grazes Jethro’s face with his last throw as Jethro jumps off the apron, takes hold of Stone’s legs and pulls him outward.

Though Stone is forced to the outside, he immediately finds footing and clobbers Jethro as if a knockout were imminent. Dropping onto his knees, Jethro breathlessly swallows a spinning backfist which sends him headfirst into the barricade, not only producing a sickening thud but a nice ‘OOOOOH’ reaction from the audience. Yanking Jethro upward by his ears, Stone tries to double underhook, but Jethro counters with a release t-bone suplex into the barricade, and it’s spine-first! Thoroughly relentless, Jethro savagely remains in pursuit of Stone’s death via mud-stomping that visually looks so horrible, Linzi commented how she anticipated Stone’s gut to burst, but alas nobody could hear.

Pushing Stone inside the ring after punching thrice at his wounded back, Jethro’ slingshot bodysplashes and goes for the pin. As expected, the promise of ‘never surrender’ lives on as Matt Stone ever so luckily kicks out. Bringing Stone onto his feet, Jethro wraps his muscular arms around the Champion’s waist, pulls backward for a German Suplex! Oh gosh, another one! And another! He’s going for a hat trick! WAIT – STONE WITH THE STOPPER! One sweet elbow smash to Jethro’s nose spills blood instantly, however, more importantly enrages Jethro, prompting him to deliver one spanking overhead German suplex released into the corner! As a bloody-mouthed Stone flies through the air at ridiculous speed, the impact of his back hitting the turnbuckle resulted in the top two buckles breaking just as Stone fell onto his neck for maximum markage! Hayes steps back, smelling victory in his grasp. The crowd can feel it coming as Stone gets to his feet. JEthro Hayes pounces with The Plow! ONLY STONE TURNS AND SEES IT COMING, INSTEAD COUNTERING WITH THE C-C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!!!!! The crowd all jump to their feet in disbelief as Stone quickly covers Hayes.





Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, and STIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Champion! MATT STONE!!!


Virgil Keenan defeats Bobby Lee
The KKK defeats Golden Inferno
Emily Corlen defeats Vincent Black
Maya Kalis defeats Marvin Wood
Matt Stone defeats Jethro Hayes to retain the RPW World Title

Aggression 9-10-2012

I’d Consider

“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers, the lights pan around the arena, pyros go off, and very hot sexy women come out, dressed in cheerleader outfits. After twelve of them come out, Larry Gordon walks out himself, the fans, who were cheering at the leggy and busty cheerleaders, now begin booing heavily. Their outfits have a big “LG” on their chest, and you’ve probably guessed in what location as well.


The fans boo heavily as the cheerleaders begin a “Larry Larry, he’s our man!” cheer. Gordon looks at them and smiles.

“What can I say?”

They continue booing heavily.

Larry: “Except that Bubba J isn’t here, he won’t be back, because he’s still… F.I.R.E.D! and for you idiots that can’t spell… he’s still FIRED!”

He laughs into the mic as the cheerleaders begin a “F.I.R.E.D” chant, causing the men and boys to be torn for booing them or cheering their moves.

Larry: “You sit there and stare at my lovely assistants, but boo me for business practices? You boo me for putting Jenny Jersey in her place? Yet the majority of you go home and beat your wives with fists, kicks, belts, and who knows what else?”

He shakes his head, his microphone not working as he begins speaking again. However, the big screen comes back on, showing Bubba J standing outside, somewhere.

Bubba J: “Recognize this place Gordon? Do you recognize it at all?”

Gordon tries to speak.

Bubba J: “I’m sorry, fat got your tongue? Well, its the house that you purchased with their hard earned money, the same money that you refused to give us a raise with in the past while we spilt blood and flesh in your ring… for your company.”

Bubba J shrugs.

Bubba J: “Not that I care, cause I fight for the love of fighting… but I do have something that I want to show you.”

He winks as the camera slowly zooms backwards. A mailbox reads “Larry Gordon, his address, and a huge Rebel Pro logo there as well.”

Bubba J: “See, I’m gonna…”

He holds up a gas can, waggling it back and forth to show that its nearly empty as he walks off from the front porch, making sure to create a line of the liquid.

Bubba J: “I’m gonna piss you off Larry and destroy your house. And I’m gonna keep doing shit like this, until I’m hired back… or I can get you in the ring.”

He shrugs.

Bubba J: “Whichever comes first.”

Gordon’s mic comes back to life.

Gordon: “You burn down my house and I’ve got video evidence and I’ll carry you to court and sue you for every single thing you have, right down to empty beer cans in my newly won truck.”

Bubba J laughs.

Bubba J: “Video evidence?”

A split screen, showing that someone has paused the recording of the show, it goes back to full.

Bubba J: “I know its far from perfect, but see if any of your fans will lend you a copy.”

Fans: “Hell No! Hell No!”

Bubba J shakes his head, Gordon is red faced and furious.

Bubba J: “Didn’t think so… and your little cheerleaders are a nice touch… guess they are paid big time to look that cheap.”

Some of them nod, they don’t care, the fans laugh, Gordon is beyond pissed.

Bubba J: “But a fire Gordon? That’s a bit over dramatic, because you can esily just rebuiled. Inside your home…”

The scene splits to show boxes in every room, with timers on their digital display counting down towards zero.

Bubba J: “I’ve planted, not exactly explosive devices, but boxes that will somewhat explode and fill each and every room of your house with shit…”

The fans laugh.

Bubba J: “With human shit, animal shit, some insect shit, if it shits… chances are that its contributed to the grand total…”

Gordon goes to speak, but Bubba J cuts him off.

Bubba J: “But… that’s not all…”

He steps up a ladder into apiece of machinery… that slowly becomes a crane holding a large bucket of some kind over the house.

Bubba J: “I’m gonna redecorate your house for you as well!”

A beeping is heard from his phone, somewhat explosive sounds come from inside the house and Bubba J turns a key which cranks up the big crane.

Bubba J: “And…”

He releases a lever, the huge tub thing opens up, covering Gordon’s house with shit and piss from a ton of porta potties.

Bubba J: “And that contribution came from Hardcore Drinking, where we had a shit-a-thon in your honor… though some people only had to piss… But they still managed to contribute to your redecoration.”

He laughs.

Bubba J: “I’d consider re-hiring me Larry… next week may be even more interesting.”

He gives Larry the Gordon before fading away. Gordon is too pissed to make another word, his cheerleaders are silent as we fade to commercial with the fans laughing and holding their noses.

Tag Team Match

Abbey Graves & Vincent Black versus Golden Inferno

The match started with Gold using his speed to his advantage over Vincent Black. Mostly in that Jeremy Gold tended to run away screaming at the top of his lungs as Black approached him. Abbey Graves had Inferno down, and was stomping his face in at ringside. Abbey hopped up onto the ring apron and did a cross body splash on Inferno, sending them both crashing into the barricade separating the fans from the action. Jeremy Gold finally got caught by Vincent Black, as he ran towards the ropes, bounced off by accident and met a huge boot from Black. Black covered Gold but Gold got a shoulder up after the two count. Inferno ran from Abbey Graves who gave chase, and then Inferno proceeded to get a gas canister from under the ring. He poured it all over himself and ran at Abbey, who dodged him. Gold in the ring slid out of it and grabbed some beer off of a beer vendor at ringside. He began drinking his sorrow away, as Vincent watched on unimpressed from ringside. Inferno finally set himself on fire and leaped onto Abbey Graves, trying to burn her. The crowd cheered, but she managed to escape although she wasn’t terribly burned she was still in a lot of pain. Gold slid back into the ring after downing multiple glasses of liquid courage. Black goes for a clothesline, he misses as Gold ducks. Gold spits beer in Black’s face and then grabs him, hitting his patented sit out face buster he calls The Golden Shower! Gold flips Black over and covers, putting his feet up against the middle rope for extra leverage. 1! 2!! 3!!! KICK OUT! But it’s too late! Black kicked out too late, and Gold, completely ecstatic and happy runs out of the ring screaming of his glorious victory. Inferno remains partially dead, the fire put out.

Winners: Golden Inferno

It’s Not Powdered Sugar

The camera cuts backstage to find a distraught Bobby Lee wondering around, stumbling around, doing pretty much what defines his entire career. He comes to a door marked, “Jeremy Gold”, he falls against it, the door opens and Bobby Lee falls into the room.

“I don’t wanna fight anyone.”

He seems to be talking to someone, but its only Bobby Lee in the room. Therefore, we observe that he’s talking to either himself or to one of the voices that he hears inside his skull.

“I’m scared of fighting. I don’t like fighting. I don’t like squirrels. I don’t like blood. I don’t like…”

He looks at the desk, the bottom drawer open and a carton of white stuff is in plain sight; though it looks as though it has had a simblence of being hid.

“But I love powdered sugar!”

He digs his finger into the powder, licking it off with delight. A funny look comes on his face after a moment. He sticks his fingers back in, getting another good lick off his fingers.

“How it sticks to your fingers and makes you feel…”

He sways.

“I can’ta believea dats somie leffy all sugar. Atey the donuttttttttssssssssssssss.”

He giggles, a groan man giggling hysterically.

“Shuts ups yous damns squirrelies.”

He giggles some more, adding a “s” to every thing he says. We hear a voice coming from down the hallway, Bobby Lee looks at the powder.

“Theys comes backs fors thes sugaries!”

He looks at the door, at the stash.

“Theys nots gonnas gets its!”

He slams his face into the stash, licking, snorting, all that he can do. He quickly raises up from the stash, white powder covering his face.

“Yous shants gets alls ofs its!”

Jeremy Gold walks in, finding Bobby Lee standing there with his cocaine powder all over his face.

“I loves powdereds sugaries!”

Gold just looks at Bobby Lee and at his very much depleted stash. He looks back to Bobby Lee who’s eyes roll up into his head and he falls backwards.

Gold: “Shit… Simon’s gonna kill me.”

RPW Tag Team Championship NOC Match

Second 2 None versus Fire Wood

Linzi Martin: Fans, we are back from commercial break with this Rebel Pro Tag Team match that is set for one fall and is for the Rebel Pro Tag Team Number One Contendership!

Larry Gordon: Both teams are already in the ring and are set to go.

Ding Ding

Jethro and Phoenix are in their respective corners, after their brutal Last Man Standing match last night; so its Matthew and Marvin starting this match off. Collar and elbow in the center of the ring, Engel with a quick wristlock, into a go behind, but Marvin with a quick reversal, back to a wristlock. Marvin with a kick to Engel’s ribs before yanking on the wrist, Engel drops down, flipping Marvin over onto his back. Engel up quickly, Marvin up as well looking at Engel. They come back together, Engel under the outstretched arm, grabbing a headlock, but Marvin with a quick series of elbows loosens the hold and the shove into the ropes breaks the hold completely. Engel off the ropes, ducking under the leap frog, he slams on brakes. Matthew spins around, Marvin right there with a kick to his midsection and a neckbreaker takes Engel down to the canvas.

Linzi Martin: Fast paced action here in the early going.

Larry Gordon: Doing good Linzi, just call the match the way you are supposed to.

Marvin with a knee drop onto Engel’s elbow has one of the first back to back moves of the match. Marvin begins to work the elbow of Engel a bit, stomping down before pulling him up to his feet. Whip into the ropes and Marvin lowers his head. Engel telegraphs the move, leaping over Marvin to bounce off the ropes. Marvin spins around, Engel with a springboard back flip lands on his shoulders, reverse hurricanrana sends Marvin outside of the ring. Engel wastes no time in bouncing off the ropes launching himself over the top with a suicide dive that sends Marvin crashing back first into the protective barrier.

Linzi Martin: Matthew Engel risking a lot there to put Marvin down for a bit longer.

Larry Gordon: All competitors are of the highest intensity, you’ve got to take chances.

Engel lifts Marvin up, rolling him up to his feet, face planting him on the apron, and then back into the ring. Grabbing a wristlock, Engel kicks him in the ribs and tags in Jethro Hayes, who is reaching out for the tag. Jethro steps through the ropes, kicking Marvin right in the ribs with his heavy workboot before a double whip sends Marvin’s now sore back into the corner.

Linzi Martin: How smart is it to tag Jethro into this match after last night?

Larry Gordon: They aren’t as dominant as they are for taking stupid risks.

Jethro with a roaring elbow and lifted knee slams into Marvin and The Phoenix is getting irate in his corner, yelling at the referee to do something about this. Jethro shoots him the middle finger before going back to assaulting Marvin in the corner, Engel takes this moment to step through the ropes and allow Jethro some time with Marvin. Jethro lifts Wood up onto his shoulders, going for a running powerslam. Jethro runs, Marvin slips off, somehow managing to spin Jethro around in the process and deliver a DDT center ring!

Linzi Marvin: He wasn’t the first Victory Wrestling Champion for his looks.

Larry Gordon: And I’m sure that you’ve checked them out.

Marvin gasps a bit, that move may have cost him a little something. Marvin pulls himself up quickly, knowing Jethro’s reputation for never quitting, before locking him in a sleeper hold in the center of the ring, being sure to dig his knee into Jethro’s kidneys.

Larry Gordon: Brilliant, two points of offense, with one hold.

Linzi Martin: And the sleeper is going to be quite effective, Jethro cannot even be fifty percent after last night.

Larry Gordon: Its the price that you pay in this business.

Jethro tries to shake his head, Phoenix is taunting him, and Engel is encouraging him. The crowd is behind him and he’s shaking his fist, struggling to get back up to his feet and break the hold. He manages to loosen the pressure on his kidneys, then shoving backwards, breaks the sleeper hold, but he’s unable to get up to his feet. Marvin, unsmiling and all business, pulls Hayes up, chopping his chest into the corner. Wood with a whip sends Hayes into Fire Wood’s corner where he tags in The Phoenix. Phoenix steps through, their turn to double team. Wood with Phoenix alternate kicks and chops as Jethro’s unable to fire back up much offense; that sleeper hold really did a number on him. Jethro kicks out at Phoenix’s ankle, while similtaneously punching at Marvin’s face. He doesn’t connect with Marvin, but he’s distracted enough to allow Jethro to escape.

Linzi Martin: What brutal action.

Larry Gordon: These fans are wanting blood Linzi!

Phoenix says something that catches Jethro’s attention, its all he needed as he spits right in Hayes’ eyes, causing the big man to turn his face. Marvin with a forearm to the face and Phoenix uses the momentum to roll him up in the corner and grab the tights.



Jethro kicks out, just as Engel kicks out towards Phoenix’s face. Releasing the hold, Phoenix turns to Engel, who leaps up into the air with a front kick right to his face again; Jethro using the momentum to roll him up for a cover!



Marvin breaks it up, kicking Jethro in the face, popping one of Jethro’s stitches in his hairline.

Linzi Martin: That busted one of Hayes’ stitches.

Larry Gordon: And Phoenix seems to be bleeding from under his mask.

Jethro loosens the pin, rolling over and getting slowly up to his feet; Phoenix rolling on out to the outside. Jethro does his best to get up to his feet, never quitting, but Marvin is right there. Engel intercepts Marvin, whipping him into the ropes. Wood bounces off the ropes, coming back with intensity and looking to smash into Matthew. Wood slides under Engel’s spread feet, popping up and delivering a dropkick to Engel’s chest which causes him to slam back first in the corner. In the corner Engel and Wood are battling back and forth with chops, the stinging variety thats got the crowd wooing to their heart’s content.

Linzi Martin: Who’s that?

Larry Gordon: Its most not certainly Hoody Ninjas, there aren’t enough of them

Jethro shoves up to his feet, just as two men in hooded robes enter the ring. The referee is distracted by Engel and Wood, doing his best to get some semblence of a Tag Team match back in order, even if there are no disqualifications in Rebel Pro.

Linzi Martin: I think they have a mind to attack Jethro Hayes here.

Larry Gordon: Most likely they do, did the lead pipe and baseball bat give it away?

Linzi Martin: That and the fact they are looking and pointing at Jethro.

Jethro turns as the men step over the barricade; Engel darts past Wood, coming to stand beside Jethro and Phoenix has somehow made his way to the other side to stand beside Marvin. The hooded druid type figures enter into the ring, immediately going after Engel and Hayes with their weapons. Engel gets a bat to the stomach while Jethro receives a lead pipe to the temple, causing him to go down heavily. The bigger of the two hooded figures nails Engel in the ribs with the lead pipe, while the smaller of the two men nails Jethro in the ribs with the baseball bat

Larry Gordon: Listen to this crowd boo and cheer, they love the blood and violence and I’m glad to bring it to them.

Linzi Martin: You ordered these hooded figures?

Larry Gordon: No, no, no; but if I had known of the reaction and probable ratings… I would have ordered them.

Linzi Martin: They are totally ignorning Fire Wood, who are just watching this massacre.

The two men are utterly desimating Second 2 None, leaving them bloody and beaten in the ring, arranged in a sacrificial way in the center of the Rebel Pro logo, on the canvas. Phoenix motions to Wood who makes the cover on Engel while he makes a cover on Engel.




Jethro and Engel both kickout similtaneously!

Linzi Martin: And Wood basically said they don’t know each other.

Larry Gordon: You hardly ever see them hanging out.

The hooded men are half-way up the ramp, but Phoenix motions for them to go on, its basically inevitable from here.

Linzi Martin: He confirms that he did order them, by just dismissing them.

Larry Gordon: Why should they come back? Its basically over and Second 2 None with another loss on their record.

Fire Wood stand there with a member of S2N on their knees in front of them and slowly pull them up to their feet; a double punch to the gut doubles Fire Wood over. A double pulling them together headbutt causes Fire Wood’s heads to slam together with sudden and violent impact. Marvin, with the assist of a superkick from Engel sends Wood over the top rope and to the outside. Jethro sets Phoenix up, Planting him heavily on the Rebel Pro logo as Engel flies off with the Euthenasia. Jethro goes to protect the pin, but Engel taps him on the shoulder, Hayes spins around ready to fight off any attackers.

Linzi Martin: What is he doing?

Larry Gordon: Getting ready to have the hell beat out of him again, this time by his partner and friend Jethro Hayes.

Engel points down at Phoenix, they both step on his chest with one foot and look back at Marvin, slowly moving on the outside.




Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match, the team of Matthew Engel and Jethro Hayes… Second 2 None!

Larry Gordon: So it’s settled. Second 2 None will face Stolen Hearts for the REBEL Pro Tag Team Champions at Armed Assault!

Linzi Martin: It will be an intense match!

Larry Gordon: And The Phoenix will be facing Marvin Wood in defending the AoWF World Championship!

Linzi Martin: Shit just got real, Larry.

We fade to one last shot of Second 2 None victorious.


Golden Inferno defeats Vincent Black & Abbey Graves
Second 2 None defeats Fire Wood, becoming number one contenders to the RPW Tag Team Titles

Aggression 8-27-2012

About This Close

“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers and the crowd immediately begins to laugh, some boo heavily, but the majority are laughing; because they remember what Bubba J did to Gordon not so long ago. Larry has a mic in hand as he steps through the ropes, shoving Jenny Jersey down in his haste, or maybe it was on purpose. Either way, Jenny gives a bit of a squeak as she falls backwards and Gordon just stares down at her, perhaps she was laughing along with the crowd.

“Keep on laughing, chuck it up, enjoy yourselves…”

He smirks.

“Cause at the end of the day, I’m about this close…”

He holds two fingers less than a quarter of an inch apart, for an example.

“From taking back over, its just a formality now keeping me from regaining the control of a company that I own fifty-one percent of. Something about me not being in my right mind, the health issues that I’ve had… the anger issues…”

They all boo and laugh at him still, many mimick eating a burger and fries; it all goes to piss Gordon off.

“But you know what?!”

They are giving him hell and he’s getting pissed extremely quickly and fully.

“What is funny is… that that bald headed son of a bitch, and I’ve met her before… and I know, will never wrestle again.”

He laughs.

“Actually, never say never… but he has about as much chance of wrestling here again as I do of not eating and Jenny Jersey getting on her knees to…”

She screams, he shoves her down again.

“Jenny… please, I wasn’t going to tell them about when you needed that raise so bad to make your car payment. Or that time you needed a bit more to pay the Emergency room doctor because…”

She screams again, in tears; Gordon laughs, he just viagra to lose weight shoves Jenny away(she’s not a fighter).

Get a grip Jenny, they will never know about how you couldn’t afford to feed your little old mama, how you couldn’t take care of her, how you couldn’t pay her Nursing Home bill… and she had to go live on the street… shitting and pissing all over her self… How you begged on your knees… how you opened your mouth… how you were willing to open your le…”

“That’s enuff you fat ass buffet eating blowhard of a sumbitch!”

Gordon spins around.

Gordon: “You can’t come…”

He looks around, but Bubba J isn’t at the backstage entrance, a laughter comes from the speakers.

Bubba J: “Nope, I ain’t there…”

Gordon spins around again, looking for the Ragin’ Redneck everywhere.

Bubba J: “Now, I sat back and watched you belly bump Jenny down… didn’t say nothing cause hell, you ain’t seen your feet in 7 years. You can’t buckle a belt, it boggles my mind how you button your pants or hold your dick to take a piss…”

The crowd is laughing, Gordon is breathing hard and still looking around.

Gordon: “You shu…”

Bubba J: “Noby Moby, ain’t gonna happen any time soon… and your fat ass can’t shut me up. I may be fired…”

Gordon smiles.

Gordon: “And you will remain…”

Bubba J: “I said shut the fuck up Gordon… cause I ain’t through speaking, if I want you to talk I’ll put on a long sleeved rubber glove and shove it up your ass and work you like a puppet… until that time… shut the fuck up.”

Gordon is shocked into silence.

Bubba J: “What I was saying is… that you let little Ms. Jersey go… because… if you touch my gawd damned girlfriend again… if you talk about her mama one more time… if you spread lies about what you claimed to have made her do again…”

Jenny dives out of the ring, scratching Gordon on the cheek as she gets away. Gordon spins to watch her, but Bubba J is right there.

Bubba J:(smiling broadly) “I’ll kick you in the nuts(he does so) and then…”

Trailer Park Trash!

Bubba J rolls over to get right in Gordon’s unconscious face, spitting right on it as he speaks.

(growl type whisper): “I’ll… send… you… to take a nap in the Trailer Park Trash. Gordon, when you wake up… watch this… and don’t fucking do it again. Its coming down to you and me… you’d better believe it.”

Jenny is standing outside of the ring, shaking in fear and humiliation. Bubba J kicks Gordon’s legs apart.

“Jenny, come back here sweety.”

She shakes her head, but Bubba J holds the ropes open for her.

“Come on Sweety, he ain’t gonna mess with you again.”

Linzi Martin: “Oh Jenny, take the oppurtunity! We all are behind you!”

A “Jenny Jersey”(clap, clap, clap clap clap) chant breaks out, turning her a bit embarrassed, but she climbs into the ring. Bubba J holds her hand and whispers in her ear and she shakes her head. Bubba J keeps talking in her ear, the mic picking up the sound, but not the words. After a minute or so, she looks around, hears the cheers growing louder, the fans on their feet clapping, and she quickly gives Bubba J a kiss before following him over to Gordon’s feet. Bubba J walks her up to Gordon’s knee caps and…

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Linzi Martin: “You might not be able to hear me over the crowd… but its… GOOOOOOOOOD!”

Gordon wakes up from the pain, just to receive a punt type of kick to the head from Bubba J. The two(Jenny and Bubba J) climb out of the ring, much to the crowd’s delight and uproarious cheering.

REBEL Pro Aggression Title Match

Marvin Wood versus Mark McNasty(c)

With the Rebel Pro Aggression title on the line, the crowd was really into the entrances of both men, favoring Mark McNasty despite Marvin’s victory at the Kingdom of Death. They start out locking up, Wood using his wrestling prowess to gain an advantage, getting behind McNasty and slamming him with a reverse body slam. Wood floated over and captured Mark in a front chancery. Marvin started getting to his feet along with McNasty who was able to push Wood off into the ropes, as Marvin came back he was flipped over with a power slam. Mark went for a quick cover and only got a one count. When Marvin started getting up, Mark ran at the ropes and came back with a swinging neck breaker, floating over again with a cover, but again only netting a one count. Mark locked Wood in an arm bar to try and wear down his limb, but Marvin was able to slip out of the hold quickly and catch McNasty with a swift kick to the head. Mark pulled back, holding his temple as Wood rolled to his right, getting up. Marvin dashed over at McNasty and caught him with a straight drop kick to the chest, knocking him through the ropes and to the floor, the crow getting behind their fallen champion.

Marvin got out of the ring in pursuit of McNasty and grabbed him by the back of the head, but Mark countered Wood and hit him in the side of the face with a forearm. Mark followed up by slamming Wood’s head into the apron, then grabbed him by the waist and drove him into the thinly padded mat outside. The crowd started cheering for Mark as he was given a crutch by someone in the audience. As Wood was getting up, Mark took a swing for his head and broke the crutch in two over Wood’s cranium. Marvin fell down face first and Mark held the broken crutch up to the applause of the crowd. The crowd started a “Mc-Nas-Ty” chant as McNasty picked up Wood and rolled him back into the ring, thanking the audience member before getting back in as well.

Marvin was trying to create some distance between the two of them as Mark got back in the ring. As McNasty approached, Wood rolled on his back and sent a straight kick at Mark’s leg, causing him to stumble. Wood sat up and hooked Mark’s head, getting him in a small package. The referee made a quick 2 count, but Mark kicked out before three. Both men got to their feet, Marvin a little slower as he was still feeling the effects of the crutch blow. As he started getting up, Mar was already to beat him to the punch, or in this case, beat him to the elbow as he caught Wood in the canadian pharmacy online free shipping back of the head with a stiff elbow. The crowd cheered as Wood collapsed and McNasty rolled him over for the cover, getting a long two count before Wood was able to kick out.

Mark looked slightly annoyed as he picked u Wood, backing him into the nearest corner. Mark drove his shoulder into Wood’s abdomen a few times, wearing down his challenger. McNasty picked him up to the top turnbuckle, getting up and going to lock in a superplex. As Mark tried to flip him over, Marvin hooked the top rope to prevent his demise. Marvin caught Mark in the head with a few elbow blows, dazing McNasty. Wood then quickly hooked his head and jumped down, forcing McNasty straight to the mat with an STO! It isn’t quite the imperfect tense, but it looked quite perfect. After the blow, Wood was able to hook his outside leg and get the 1 2 3!

Winner and New Aggression Champion: Marvin Wood

Shineys and Cake in A Minor

“I realise that I’mma liability.”

This segment opens with those words and this moment, Anna Mathews throwing a ball against the wall. It bounces back in her grasp. The repetition helps her consentrate. She’s talking to somebody. Who? Fuck off. This ain’t a promo.

“Aye haz moments hen I’m goofy und moments when I’m cereal. Sumtimes, eye’s a chatty Kathy. Xcept, ya know, mi name’s not Kathy. Inn dat time, I doan’t know what I’m sayin in all honesty.”

A hidden shrug.

“Buuuut four the most part, Ai keep myself moderatelee unattached. Yif ya think I’m ignoring yoo, odds arr I’z not tring two on purpose. Blame et on my hanging owt wit moody emo cunts starting off. Whatevs. Mi career…um, overall, that ish…goes up n down faster than a yo-yo. I accept this. Mayhaps you’ve notise that olive this ish tru with the vast majrity ov everybody.”


“But yif I din’t make this big speech an make expectation grow, this hole recordink thing woold bea absewlutely pointless.”

She drops the ball (lolz) and drags out a nice title-sized case from straight outta Hammerspace.

“Sides, it makes cents fer dis ta happen. Vewwy few peepole seems two honestly get where I’m tring too go. Oar rather, where hive been forced to go. Yoo ceem like you can handle itt, soooo I’m just gonna ask.”

A blink. The Queen of the Dodos gets down on one knee and filps open the case where the AoWF Tag Team shiny dances in the light. Pattened headtilt.

“Still wanna bea my taggy partner or wat?”

The camera turns around and Hey! it’s Johnny Kennedy! That guy is awesome! Johnny looks down at the shiny AOWF Title.

Johnny: “That’s…that’s a hell of a request.”

Johnny thinks it over.

Johnny: “It all comes down to regret. I actually happen to have quite a few of them in the AOWF. I regret the whole ‘Johnny Chaos’ debacle. I regret that I never got to bang you or your girlfriend or her sister before you all went and got attached to people.”

Anna shrugs. It’s a pretty legit regret.

Johnny: “I regret ever leaving Victory Wrestling and it crumbling in my absence. I regret jumping into a marriage in my early 20′s with a woman I had only known for a couple months and….well… I’d hate to see ‘turning down an AOWF Title’ show up in my list of regrets especially when it has been offered by a fellow individual who seems to have been labelled as having hit a low point in their career.”

The Dodo Queen acts like she’s been shot in the heart and comically falls down. Kennedy, being a dick, doesn’t seem to notice.

Johnny: “Also one who knows when to speak out against all the bullshit in the AOWF like (CENSORED), (CENSORED) (CENSORED), (CENSORED), and (CENSORED).”

Anna kips up.


Johnny: “Well, that just goes without saying. You said I get what you’re trying to do, and I think you get what I’m trying to do as well. We’re both a little….fed up with being held back because we happen to speak our minds on occasion and seem to be capable of having an original thought or two every now and again and those are pretty unpopular. We’re…controversial, and like they always say; Controversy Creates…”

Anna: “Cake?”

Johnny: “No it creates….yeah. Actually, I kind of like that.”

Johnny takes the vacant AOWF Tag Title and drapes it over his shoulder.

Johnny: “Anyhoo. Yeah, you’ve got yourself a partner. Strike a pose!”

They do so. It’s awesome. Segment over. Good night, everybody!

REBEL Pro World Title Match

Xan Vaxman versus Matt Stone(c)

Maya Kalis: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it will be for the Rebel pro World Championship! Introducing first, he is the challenger and the Winner of the Everybody Sucks but Me Tournament, weighing in at two hundred and twenty two pounds, residing in Mexico City, Mexico by way of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada…he is the unprofessional wrestler…Xan Vaxman!

“Punch Em In the Dick” by Juicy Karkass plays in the arena as Xan comes out to a reasonable cheer from the Rebel Pro faithful. Xan waived to a few people as he walked down the ramp, getting into the ring.

Linzi Martin: Here we are, getting ready for the arrival of the Rebel pro World Champion, should be a great match, a lot of history here between these two.

Maya Kalis: And his opponent…weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds, from Ottawa Ontario Canada…he is the Rebel Pro World Heavyweight Champion…Matt Stoooone!

“Sound of Madness” by Shinedown starts playing out as Matt Stone makes his way down to the ring. He holds up his title for the crowd to see, some boo him, some clap out of respect. Matt gets in the ring and hands his title over to the referee after kissing it, possibly for the last time.

Linzi Martin: Both men are in the ring and it looks like we’re about to get started here.

The bell indeed rings and Stone and Vaxman start circling around the ring, saying something inaudible to one another. They lock up, Stone getting the early advantage with a side headlock. An pushes him off at the ropes and when Stone comes back, he knocks Xan down to the mat with a shoulder block. Matt quickly hits the ropes again, Xan realizing this and rolls over as Stone rebounds, Matt jumping over hi t the opposite side of the ropes and as Matt comes back, Vaxman has regained his vertical base and flips Matt over with a hip toss. Stone is quick to his feet and he’s immediately dropped down with a drop kick. Rather than get up, Matt rolls out of the ring and holds up his hands in a t formation for a time out. The crowd starts booing this, Xan just flashes a smile. Matt paces around for a few seconds, catching his cuanto dura el efecto del viagra breath as he slides back into the ring. Xan comes over and grabs a hold of Matt’s head with a side headlock, Matt trying the same trick Xan did by pushing him off, but Vaxman tightens his grip on Stone’s head and stops the momentum. Stone isn’t deterred though, he grabs Xan’s leg and lifts him up, dropping him on the back of his head with a back suplex. Xan releases the hold on impact. Matt goes for a quick cover but barely gets a one count.

Linzi Martin: Both men are looking to get the early advantage here in this World title match.

Stone and Xan are back to their feet, Matt a little faster which allows him to take advantage, first connecting with a toe kick to Xan’s midsection and following that up with a snap suplex. Matt floated over for the cover and again only got a one count. Stone got up quickly, grabbing Xan by the back of the head, but Vaxman was able to free himself with a shot to the gut and a quick uppercut. Matt stumbled backwards and Vaxman charged in, hitting Stone with a big clothesline, sending him sailing out of the ring. Vaxman followed Matt out of the ring this time, wanting to keep the pressure on the champion. Xan called for Stone to get u, and when he did, Xan tossed Stone shoulder first into the steep steps. Matt was dazed after that and was easily set up by Vaxman to get whipped into the steel guard rail. Stone took a wild right hand that was easily avoided by Vaxman and Matt`s arm was grabbed, being pulled straight into the steel ring post. The crowd was starting to cheer as Matt was rolled back inside the ring.

Linzi Martin: Xan seems to be in control here, will he be able to capitalize on this momentum?

When Xan got back in the ring, Stone was struggling to get to his feet. Xan grabbed his head and drove him straight down into the mat with a DDT. Xan rolled Matt over and went for a cover, and got the first two count of the match, but didn’t get the three. Xan picked Stone up and tossed him into the far corner, charging in after him and driving his shoulder right in Matt’s abdomen. Xan then followed up with several right hands, Stone covering up as best he could. Matt went to Xan’s eyes to create some distance, Vaxman backing uo blinking away the pain, he didn’t see Stone on the middle rope who jumped off at Xan, but Vaxman caught him with an atomic drop. Matt selling the pain between his legs, got a straight punch there by the number on contender. Xan’s Dick Punch rang true and Matt fell to the ground. Xan went for the cover and got a near three count, but Stone was able to kick out. Xan looked a little annoyed, but pressed on. He got up and started to untie one of the near turnbuckles, seeing how there were no rules in Rebel, this action was actually being cheered. Stone was getting up gingerly, Vaxman realizing this and facing him, charging in for a knee lift, but Matt sidesteps him and grabs his neck, falling down on his knees, Xan being stretched out over Matt’s back with the Stone Cutter. Rather than go for the cover, Matt just stayed down so that he could catch his breath, Xan holding his back and neck.

Linzi Martin: Matt is looking to retain his title here, could he be forming a come back?

Stone started getting up slowly, calling for Xan to get up. Vaxman was looking around as he was getting u, Stone stalking him from behind. Xan turned and received Matt’s foot in his face, Stone hitting him with the Go Go Gadget Foot. Stone then grabbed his legs and started twisting them around his own leg, turning Xan over into a sharpshooter, or as Stone called it, the Wrath of Khan. Xan called out in pain as Matt wrenched down on his lower back. Xan crawled to the bottom rope, but there was no rope break so Xan had to improvise. Vaxman started crawling under the bottom rope, using the ropes to help separate himself and Stone. Matt released the hold on his own, trying to drag Xan out to the center of the ring, but Vaxman was able to counter with an inside cradle when Matt had dragged him away from the ropes. Fortunately for canadian pharmacy spam stop Matt, he was able to kick out before three and avoid losing his title on that exchange. Matt and Xan got up after that, Xan a little quicker on the draw and hit Stone with a knee lift. Matt was doubled over as Xan got him in a front chancery, flipping him over on his back with a Northern Lights Suplex! Xan bridged the hold as the referee got down to make the count. Between the 2 an 3 count, Matt rolled his right shoulder off the mat, but the referee wasn’t in the right position and counted the 3! The bell sounded and the crowd erupted for Xan. Matt sat up confused, starting to talk to the referee right away, looking to convince him to call it off, but he didn’t. Xan was handed the World title and stared down at it longingly before holding it above his head.

Linzi Martin: Matt got his shoulder up, this match should not have ended like this!

Maya Kalis: Ladies and Gentlemen…the winner of the match and NEW Rebel pro World Champion…Xan Vaxman!

Xan got on the middle rope, holding up his title to more applause when we hear a voice from off screen

???: Hold it, stop everything

The crowd and Xan look down the rampway to see Larry Gorden coming out on the apron with a microphone in his hand

Larry Gordon: Now I realize that not everyone is perfect, but in my company I won’t stand for any controversy in my company. I’m sorry Xan, but we all saw that Matt did indeed get his shoulder up before the three count and because of this, I must over rule my referee and say this match will continue

The crowd booed the announcement as Larry headed back where he came from, Xan looking crestfallen, but he knew he had to re focus quickly. The bell sounded and Xan turned to Matt, quickly getting hit with the C-c-c-c-combo Breaker! Xan fell backwards and Stone went for the cover, hooking his far leg. The referee came as fast as he could to make the count, getting the 1 2 3-NO! Xan kicked out of the Combo Breaker!

Linzi Martin: What a series of events we’ve just seen, and we still have a World title match going on!

Stone was shocked, seeing Xan kick out of his move, Xan really did want this win. Matt picked up Vaxman slowly, locking his head and swinging it down for a neck breaker. Matt went for another cover but only got a two count again. Stone was annoyed, getting back to his feet. Matt sent a few kicks at Xan as he struggled to get back to his feet. Matt went for another kick, but Xan caught his foot, looking Stone dead in the eyes. The crowd was starting to get in to it as Matt was hit with a right hand, then a second one. Xan tossed his foot down and caught him with a third, overhand right fist to his face, Stone backing up dazed. Like earlier in the match, Vaxman charged at Stone and went for a clothesline, Matt ducking down and flipping Vaxman over the top rope to the floor! The crowd gasped as Xan’s foot got stuck on the top rope, his body shifting in mid-air, ending up upside down and ending up landing on his head and neck! Xan was laying motionless on the ground outside. The referee got out of the ring as Stone fell to his knees to catch his breath. After checking on the outside, Xan wasn’t responding to anything the referee was saying. The official held up an x sign to the back and a few doctors came out, bringing a stretcher with them. The referee was speaking with Maya as the doctors checked on Xan and nodded their head, setting a neck brace on him.

Maya Kalis: It has been determined that Xan is no longer able to compete in this match so the winner of the match by forfeit…and STIIILL Rebel Pro World Champion….Matt Stooone!

Matt rolled out of the ring with his title that was left inside the ring, looking down at Xan as well. Matt was asking questions, the camera unable to pick up the dialogue. Stone didn’t loom happy as Xan was placed on the stretcher. They started wheeling him out of the arena, Matt walking with him.

One final shot of Xan being wheeled to the back as we fade out of Aggression

Kingdom of Death 2

Kingdom of Death 2

The participants started

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making their way down to the ring, Anna Mathews leading the way. Anna entered the first cage, followed by Marvin Wood, The Harlequin, Jeremy Gold, and Mark McNasty. Matt Stone and Emily Corlen come out together, but only get about halfway down the ramp where they get attacked from behind by Matthew Engel and Jethro Hayes! Each wielding steel chairs, the Rebel Pro tag team champions go down from the assault. The crowd starts cheering as Emily is the first to get to her feet, catching a potential second chair shot from Jethro. Corlen sends a kick to the mid section of Hayes and rips the chair out of his grasp, ramming the end of it into Jethro’s ribs. Engel swings for Corlen’s head who is able to duck out of the way. Stone is starting to get up and he catches the back swing of Engel in the side of the head, collapsing face first. We see a small pool of blood forming under his head. Emily tosses the chair in her hands over at Engel who smacks it out of the air with the chair in his hand, but doesn’t see Emily charging in and is taken down by a spear! Emily starts reigning fists down on Engel, who covers up before rolling Emily on her back, sending the same amount of right hands down at her. Officials come out to break them up, Jethro slinking inside the first cage. A few paramedics come out to check on Stone as well, who hasn’t moved since the second chair shot. Both Matthew and Emily are taken to the back and have been removed from the match, a stretcher is brought out for Stone and he’s placed atop it, also being carried out to the back.


Linzi Martin: “Oh my god! We haven’t even started yet and the odds on favourites, Stolen Hearts, have been taken out by Second 2 None!”

Maya Kalis: “Wow. Uhhh…okay then. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the second ever Kingdom of Death match! As you can see, all eight participants have made their way to the ring. With the three cages you see before you is where this match will take place. The first part of this match is a regular cage match requiring two pin fall or submission eliminations to end. When the first two participants have been eliminated, the remaining six competitors will be moved to the second match, the electrified steel cage match. Inside that match will occur two more eliminations via pinfall or submission, and the remaining two competitors will be brought to the third and final cage. Inside that cage, the match turns into an inferno I quit match. cialis Using the fire raging against the steel cage walls, you must have your opponent say the words “I quit” while they are on fire to eliminate them. The winner of the match will the last competitor standing, receive the thorn crown and be representing Rebel Pro Wrestling in their upcoming AoWF World Title match! Let’s get this on!”

The now six competitors for the Kingdom of Death match are all in the first of the three adjoining cages. Harlequin is standing in the middle of the ring looking around at Jethro, Anna, Mark and Marvin who have all surrounded him as Jeremy Gold sits in a corner avoiding everyone.


Linzi Martin: “We’re set to start the brand new Kingdom of Death match. Finding out that the winner will receive an AoWF world title match is huge! I’ll be calling this match by myself because apparently I’m not earning my full paycheque, thank you very much Larry Gorden.”


Ding Ding


With the sound of the bell, Harlequin flashes his hands back and forth and procures and bouquet of flowers, handing them to Anna. Mathews looks at them with a puzzled expression as Harlequin offers his hand to her for a partnership. Anna doesn’t know what to make of the clown, but Jethro does as he grabs Harlequin’s green afro and whips him face first into the steel cage wall. Harlequin slides down and wall with Hayes looking back at Anna. Anna calls for the clown and Jethro is willing to oblige, whipping Harlequin over to her and gets hit in the face with the bouquet in Anna’s hand. Harlequin flops on the mat, McNasty bouncing off the ropes and driving his elbow down into the heart of Harlequin. The clown starts getting up, Marvin Wood dashing towards him and driving him straight down into the mat with the Imperfect Tense. Anna heads over to the near corner, glancing back at the Harlequin, who is still laying flat on his back. Anna leaps up and performs her devastating finisher, the Slash and Burn! When she lands on him, Anna hooks his outside leg and gets the 1 2 3, eliminating the Harlequin.


Linzi Martin: “Well that was interesting, we’re down to five.”


With the clown out of commission, the remaining four combatants turn their attention to Jeremy Gold, who looks about as nervous as the mouse trapped by four hungry cats. Gold’s wobbly feet slowly get him up and he looks at each person in the match. He makes a mad dash for McNasty as if he was the weaker of the four and gets a large foot in his face from Mark for his trouble. Jeremy stays down holding his nose as Jethro drops a large le across his neck. Anna hits the ropes and springboards off the middle rope, coming back on Gold with a moon

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sault. Jethro picks up Gold by the scruff of the neck, sets him up and drops him flat on his back with the Planter! Hayes glances at the other three who don’t seem to care and Jethro hooks Gold’s leg, getting the 1 2 3. Jeremy Gold has been eliminated.


Linzi Martin: “Correction, we’re down to four already! The participants will need to move to the second cage, now. The electrified steel should add an interesting dynamic here.”


The bell rings and the action stops, several referees entering the ring to ensure that the competitors head to the second cage. Marvin exits first, not even looking back at the other competitors. Following him in Jethro Hayes, who is followed by Mark and finally Anna. Before getting into the cage, Anna stops at the apron and looks under the ring, pulling out what can only be described as a weapon of minor destruction. On one end is a mallet and the other is four spinning blades commonly referred to as a garden weasel. Oh, did I mention it was gold plated? Yeah, it’s that cool. Anna heads into the second cage. The door is locked and the charge is set.


Linzi Martin: “With the electric charge going through the cage, Anna better cheapest cialis online uk make sure that…weapon she has doesn’t get caught up. What is that thing, anyway?”



Anna charges over at Wood first, hitting him in the side of the head with the mallet, crumbling Wood down in a corner. Jethro goes over for the weapon, and gets hit in the same injured ribs with the mallet again. Hayes doubles over and Anna turns the handle on her weapon, running the blades across Jethro’s face. The crowd ‘oohs’ as Hayes goes down holding his face. Mark is backing into a corner as Anan starts approaching him, a sick smirk on her face as she holds her weapon u high, but she’s hit from behind by Marvin with a high knee! Anna stumbled forward and Mark catches her in the knee with a low dropkick. Anna falls face first into the middle turnbuckle. Mark then quickly charges Marvin and knocks him down on the mat, reigning rights and lefts. He hasn’t forgotten what Wood had to say leading up to the bought. Marvin is able to push Mark off him as he rolls to his feet, McNasty grabbing Wood by the back of the head and running him into the steel cage, Wood getting a dose of the electric field! Wood crumbles to the mat, jerking a bit from the electricity. Hayes is back up, his face a crimson mask from the metal blades already used n him. He awaits Mark to turn around, and when he finally does, Hayes charges at him, going for the Plow! McNasty’s reflexes what dosage viagra to take save him as he side steps the monster of a man who spears the electric steel The crowd reacts seeing the blood act as a conductor for the electricity and Hayes quickly backs up and falls on his back as Mark hooks him up for a school boy! 1 2 3! Jethro Hayes has rhino vs viagra been eliminated in a brutal fashion.


Linzi Martin: “Oh my gosh! Someone needs to check on Jethro and get him out of there!”

Unfortunately, the action does not stop as Mark is getting back to his feet, he’s hit in the back of the head with the mallet from Anna! Mark falls down and Anna turns her attention to Wood. She spins the handle around and drives the blades of the weasel into Wood’s face, who franticly reaches out and grabs the stick to prevent it from making contact with his body. Anna pushes down on it, however Wood maintains some control of it until Anna kicks him between the legs! Given the shock of the blow, Marvin’s grip loosens and his face is introduced to the golden steel! Marvin’s forehead is immediately cut open and we see blood trickling down. Mark is starting to get up, but he sees what’s happening in the corner and backs up, in fact the camera picks up that he’s whistling something to himself. Anna pulls back on the blades and raises the mallet high in the air, bringing it down on Wood who is still quick enough to side step the blunt object. McNasty seeing that Marvin is getting free, comes over as well to try and keep Wood on the defensive. Mark grabs Marvin’s head and tries picking him up buy generic cialis canadian pharmacy for a suplex, however Wood catches him with a straight knee to his head and lands on his feet behind Mark, pushing him into Anna who cracks him with the mallet. Mark goes down hard and Anna charges at Wood, who backs up and catches Anna with a drop toe hold, the mallet hitting the electrified cage and Mathews is forced to drop the weapon from the shock. Wood picks up Mark and tries to lock him in to a front choke hold, but he hears a noise behind him and glances back to see Anna going for her Boomerfly kick. Wood ducks and Mark gets caught in the face with the kick! Wood pushes Anna into the cage wall and pins uk pharmacy viagra McNasty! 1 2 3


Linzi Martin: “Mark McNasty, the Rebel Pro Aggression champion has been eliminated. We are down to two and that means the final cage.”

The bell sounds and the referees get in the ring. Wood exits first, followed by Anna who is forced to leave her weapon behind as they both enter the third cage. The flaming cage.


Linzi Martin: “This match is generic celebrex very similar to the London’s Burning match, the even that say Marvin Wood lose the PWA World title. Will he be able to survive this time?”

The cage door closes and the fire starts up. The two competitors, Marvin Wood and Anna Mathews lock up immediately, Wood getting behind her with a hammer lock and tries running her right into the fire, but Anna puts the brakes on. Mathews reaches back and snaps Marvin over with a snap mare, Wood’s boots in the fire. He backs up into Anna who drives her knee right into Marvin’s spine. Anna hits the far away ropes and returns, hitting Wood in the back again, this time with a low drop kick. Wood rolls over in pain, away from the fire. Anna sets her foot on the back of Marvin’s head and leap up, driving her knee in the back of his head. Anna picks up Marvin, locking his right leg and lifting him up slightly before dropping him straight down on his head, a fisherman’s DDT. Knowing a pin fall would not assist her, Anna starts dragging Marvin over to the flaming cage wall. As they get closer, Marvin can feel the heat from the flames and sends his free leg into Anna’s backside, forcing her into a corner chest first. Wood scrambles to his feet, Anna getting out of the corner and turns into Marvin who quickly drives her straight into the mat with the Imperfect Tense! Anna’s head hits the bottom turnbuckle and she might be out cold. Wood, sensing victory, picks her up and sets her over the ropes, between them and the flaming cage walls. Marvin grabs her head andpulls back with a dragon sleeper, or a modified Imperfect Science. flagyl dosage With Anna so close to the flames, her boots and pads start to catch fire. Combined with the lack of blood getting to her brain from Wood’s hold, Anna fights as long as she can, but is ultimately forced to give up, saying “Ai Kwit” in front of the live crowd, who boo as Marvin Wood releases the hold and raises his arm. A group of officials rush in the ring to get Anna away from the fire and use an extinguisher on her legs to ensure she isn’t severely burned.

Linzi Martin: “So Marvin Wood wins this year’s Kingdom of Death match. Just two weeks ago Marvin teamed with the AoWF World champion and now he will face that man, the Phoenix, for that very World title! He also gets the prestigious thorn crown. What a match!”

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Marvin wipes some of the blood off his face as he walks around the ring, raising his hand in victory. The referees arrive and crown Marvin Wood…


Marvin Wood wins the Kingdom of Death 2

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Aggression 7-30-2012

A Puppets Tale

Have you ever seen a happy Seldonganger?

PuppetLisa: I did it. I DID IT!

Well, now you have. This is the life of a puppet. Watch how she swaggers trough the backstage halls. If she had a mouth, she’d be smiling from nonexsistant ear to nonexsistant ear. That hidious laughter is of a plush toy finally getting one up on her human adversaries. The gleam in her button eye glows brighter this day in the heat of victory.

PuppetLisa: Fuck Victory! I killed that place.

Indeed. Now what will you rage about? RealLisa seems to be gone…

PuppetLisa: The hell you think? I’m going to distroy this place next.

PuppetVirgil: Rejoice, mother–*BANG!*

…you bought a GUN?

PuppetLisa: There will always be casualties in war. I’d rather it be on their side.

But isn’t a gun too much?

PuppetGold: Quit hiding my stash, Rupert! *BANG!*

PuppetLisa: On the contrary. It’s not enough.

Hey! I just invented him!

PuppetLisa: No. You just invented this douchebag walking in my way.

PuppetMcNasty: Hi, everybody. I’m PuppetMc–*BANG!*


PuppetLisa: Soon…very soon, they will learn to fear the Lone Poppet of the Apocalypse! Muahahaha!

Damn. Looks like I’d need an expert.

PuppetLisa: WHAT?!

Oh, nothing. Carry on with your murder spree. I’m going to do something else now.

A Grave Situation

A camera is frantically following someone backstage, but we can’t quite see who, since the cameraman is trying so hard to keep up. Finally, the camera stops in front of Simon Kalis’s door, which is open. The cameraman peeks in to find the office empty, except for one small woman.

Abbey Graves.

Abbey, wearing a pink REBEL t-shirt and jeans, looks towards the cameraman.

ABBEY: Where is Mr. Kalis?

Before the cameraman can answer, she runs past him and into the hallway.

ABBEY: I’ve been calling and e-mailing both Simon and Adrian and no one…”

She quickly turns a corner and runs right into Larry Gordon. She tumbles over while Gordon is knocked back a few steps. He drops a manilla folder that spills papers everywhere.

LARRY: What, watch where you’re going!

Abbey gets up, looks up, and sees who she bumped into.

ABBEY: Oh, uh… Mr. Gordon… uh….. Hi, I’m Abbey Graves.

LARRY: Yeah, I know, you were our ring announcer, and then you were gone after a few matches. Why are you here?

ABBEY: Well, I was sent back to development to train, and, I think I’m good to go. I want to wrestle again, but I can’t find either Kalis anywhere.

A sadistic smile crosses Gordon’s face.

LARRY: So, you want to wrestle, huh? And Kalis sent you away to train and be better. You think you did?

Abbey, seeing hope in her cause, jumps at the possible opportunity.

ABBEY: Yeah! I mean, I don’t know who he’d have me face…

Gordon holds up his hand.

LARRY: Here’s my idea. I’m majority owner of REBEL, but as a businessman, I can’t put a wrestler on a card who twice has been proven to be an inaffective addition to my roster.

Abbey looks down, and sighs.

LARRY: But Kalis won’t put you on a card, and I love any chance I can get to screw him over. So, find a tag team partner, and I will make sure you end up on next week’s card. This is still MY company, damnit!

Abbey looks up, and her face lights up as she smiles.

ABBEY: Oh MR. Gordon you won’t regret this!

She runs off, and Gordon smiles.

A Puppets Tale 2: A Word From Our President

And now, a word from our president. Except we couldn’t get a word from him even if we wanted to.

PuppetSimon: …

See? This is the life of a puppet. Watch how he sits in in his cardboard box styled desk (painted with golden nail polish) and does stuffs like playing paddleball while being completely bored. He’s not even a second-rate puppet. He’s D-list puppet status. Bearly eligible to be involved on camera. The sad part about it is? He knows it.

PuppetSimon: ;_;

But the thing is he never takes it lying down.

PuppetSimon: ?

Remember my first idea for you? The one I thought up before the coma crap happened?

PuppetSimon: *headtilt and writing motions*

Oh, you want something to write on? Mmmkay. Here. Have some signs.

PuppetSimon: *scribble* Thank you! ^_^

No problem. Now that plan was thrown to the backburner the moment RealSimon vanished. Then it came back when he came back. Then he got himself all comatose.

PuppetSimon: *scribble* Dumbass. *shakes fist*

My thoughts exactly. But he’s not in it now. How do you feel about…ya know?

PuppetSimon: *scribble* U cereal?

Oh, yeah. She’s gone batshit crazy. And not in the good way.

PuppetSimon: *scribbles* Hellz yeah! *pulls AK out of pants*

Whoa, wait. You had that there the entire time?

PuppetSimon: *scribbles* Trust me. I have plenty of firepower. ROFLS

Oh, gawd. This isn’t going to end well.

A Grave Situation 2: More Beer

Abbey is walking through the arena’s merch and concessions area. She is still searching for a tag team partner after a few other REBEL wrestlers told her no, or ignored her. She goes to the concession stand.

WORKER: What do ya want?

ABBEY: (looking at the rude worker with disgust) Better service, and a bottle of water.

He scoffs, then turns and grabs the water. Abbey has the two dollars on the counter already. He turns, sees the money, and tosses her the water, hard. She almost drops it, juggling it into the person behind her. She turns to apologize.

ABBEY: Oh, gosh, I’m sorr-

Behind her, waiting in line, is Bubba J.

The concession worker gets excited.

WORKER: Oh, man. Bubba J, “The Raging Red-”

BUBBA: Can it, asshole. You ain’t got a reason to be rude to this lady. All she wanted was water.

He moves in front of Abbey, grabs the money off the counter, and looks the worker in the eyes.

BUBBA: Now, before I break yer scrawny chicken neck, yer gonna pay for this lady’s water, right?

The worker,. scared out of his wits, nods.

BUBBA: And get me a beer. Three of ‘em. Also on you.

Bubba turns around, and Abbey speaks. Fast.

ABBEY: OHMIGAWD You’re Bubba J and I need help and everyone else has said no but you could say yes because if not I can’t-

Bubba puts his hand up, and grabs a marker out of his pocket.

BUBBA: I’ll be happy to sign autographs. Preferably yer, well, breasts, so you can cherish it-

Abbey cuts him off.

ABBEY: No, dick, I’m a wrestler, and I need a tag partner.

Bubba chuckles, and pulls his phone out of his pocket. He texts for a second, and looks up at Abbey.

BUBBA: Look, kid, I ain’t hired-

ABBEY: Look, all I need is this shot. Kalis sent me away to get better, and I am better! Larry Gordon-

Bubba cringes with anger at the name, but Abbey keeps going.

ABBEY: -told me that I could have the match if I find a partner. Even though I think he’s only doing it to piss Kalis off, I can’t say no. All I need is this little opportunity and I can make it something big, huge, gigantic! I will show the world…

As Abbey rants on and on, Bubba continues texting. Finally, he stops her.

ABBEY: -even be the next Anna Matthews or Lisa Seldon or Del Ray’s sister, I forgot her name-

BUBBA: Whoa, whoa, whoa, kiddo. You got yerself a partner.

Abbey stands, shocked for a minute.

ABBEY: You mean…?

BUBBA: Yut, yer wrestlin’ next week in a tag team with-

Abbey interrupts him by jumping in his arms and planting a kiss on his cheek.

ABBEY: ERMAHGERD you won’t regret this! I have to find Mr. Gordon!

She runs away towards the backstage area, as Bubba chuckles.

BUBBA: He’s gonna be pissed….

The Plot Thickens

We come in on Matt Stone sitting alone in a locker room, getting mentally prepared for his match later on with Anna. Suddenly there’s a knock at the door. Without looking up, Stone calls out.

Matt Stone: “Come in”

Stone is still looking down at his hands. His other titles, the RXW World Title and the Rebel Pro Tag Team Titles aren’t in sight. We hear the sound of heels on the floor and a female clearing her throat. Stone looks up, a little surprised.

Matt Stone: “What are you doing here?”

We see who he’s talking to as Katrina Evans, his original interviewer comes on screen.

Katrina: “Well, since you are the RXW World Champion, I was asked to come here and guest commentate on your big match tonight. So I thought I’d let you know so you’re like, not surprised of whatever.”

Matt Stone: “You know if you get involved…”

Katrina: “I’m not here to interfere and cost you anything. I’ll be there, at ringside to call the match.”

Stone nods, going back to looking down at the ground.

Matt Stone: “Listen, what I did a few months ago…”

Katrina cuts him off before he can finish.

Katrina: “Forget it. Water under the bridge. I just came to wish you luck…so..”

Katrina bends down and kisses Stone’s cheek. He looks up as she smiles.

Katrina: “Good luck…champ.”

Katrina smiles again before turning around and walking out of the locker room, leaving Matt to place his hand on his cheek, watching her walk out with a puzzled look on his face.

Non-Title Match

Xan Vaxman versus Mark McNasty

The Aggression Champion and the number one contender lock up in the middle of the ring, McNasty getting the early advantage with his experience, he’s able to get behind Xan and take him down. He locked him in a side headlock until Vaxman fights his way to his feet and pushes mark off, rebounding from the ropes Xan hits him with a power slam. Off the ropes, xan drives his elbow into Mark’s forehead. Mark gets up and catches a boot from Xan, doubling over. Xan then goes for a DDT, however Vaxman is countered with a Northern Lights suplex. Xan kicks out at two, however and rolls out of the ring.

Mark dives through the ropes and hits Vaxman with a suicide dive. The crowd cheers as Mark gets to his feet. Picking up his opponent, McNasty whips Xan into the steel steps, giving off a loud sound. Vaxman fought to his feet, but sensing the advantage, Mark charged after him, only to be the recipient of a drop toe hold, Mark’s head sickly bouncing off the guard rail. The crowd oohhh’d as Xan dusted his hands off and picked Mark up, who was favoring his neck. Xan tossed him back in the ring and slid in after him.

Mark started getting up, holding hisn neck, but he wasn’t able to avoid Xan’s running STO. Mark was planted into the mat and Xan pinned him, getting a two count. McNasty, after kicking out, quickly snatched up Xan’s arm and tried to lock in a cross arm bar, Vaxman wriggling free before it could be fully locked in, but it gave McNasty enough time to get to his feet. Xan charged in and was lifted up before he could stop in and driven down to the mat with a spinebuster! Mark quickly hit he ropes and came back with a Rolling Thunder, the only word going through Xan’s head was ‘Ouch”. Mark only got a two count, however. As Xan was getting up, Mark tried to lock in a front chancery, but he was caught right in the groin with Xan’s hard fist. The crowd boo’ed as Vaxman would then lock in a small package (lol) on Mark, but only get a two count!

They get to their feet, Mark favoring his groin. Xan backs against the ropes and goes for a cross body, however McNasty catches him, staggering back, but keeps his balance. He then jumps in the air, performing his Sault Slam! Xan is crushed under Mark as McNasty hooks his outside leg, getting the 1 2 3!

Winner: Mark McNasty

A Puppets Tale 3: Betty Crocker in this Bitch

Who bakes a cake for a drunken celerbration party?

Anna Mathews: Mmm-kai. All dun!

She does. This is the life of a puppetmaster. Watch as she admires her new handiwork with awe. Oh, sure. Matt Stone could win and there’s a lot on the line.

Anna Mathews: All da maor reasun ta bake. Et’s gits me zenned owt. Been way to frantic.

I agree completely.

Anna Mathews: It remyndz me ov that afro’d dood wif the painting sho painting hiz happy lil clouds an’ happy little twees und…


PuppetLisa: Moronic cyclops! Did you honestly think you were that good of a shot?


PuppetLisa: Fuck your scribbilings and die!


Anna Mathews: Joo finally did itt, huh?


Anna Mathews: Took ya long enuff.

I know.


Anna Mathews: *sigh* Guess ai’d betta go out there befour dey kill each other.

That would be a wise idea. Hold your fire!

PuppetLisa: Outta the way, Dodobitch. I have to kill me a Kalis. This universe isn’t big enough for the both of us.

Well, technically it is.

PuppetLisa: Go drown yourself in a puddle of hate and selfloathing!


PuppetLiza: Now that’s not very–*POW!*

Whoa. You okay, PuppetLiza?

PuppetLiza: I’m fine.

Anna Mathews: Know, ur nawt. Yoor shoulder’s bearlee hanging on bi a fread!

And we all know how sucky health coverage is for the non-living.

PuppetStrader: You ain’t lying there. *ZAP!* Hey! You took out a wheel from my tremendously expensive and ultimately useless wheelchair!

PuppetLisa: What? I’m sorry. I only heard the words tremendously and useless. I’m assuming you’re talking about your career.


PuppetLisa: Ah ha! About time you revealed yourself.


Anna, you have to go!

Anna Mathews: Bu–

You have a match! Go! Now!

Anna Mathews: Okai…

A Grave Situation 3: A Car Goes Boom…

“I’m A Rebel” hits the PA, and out comes Larry Gordon to a chorus of boos.

LINZI: What does these slimeball want?

He gets in the ring, and grabs a microphone.

LARRY: I have an announcement to make regarding the lawsuit Simon so graciously dumped in my lap.

Before he has anything to say, “Walking Dead” by Heartsounds hits, and out comes Abbey graves.

JESTER JAY: Well, who’s this?

LINZI: Abbey Graves making a surprise appearance on REBEL television again!

The crowd cheers, remembering Abbey because she was hot, but that’s the only reason they are cheering. She runs down the ramp and slides into the ring. Gordonlooks surprised.

LARRY: What are you doing?

ABBEY: I have a tag team partner!

Gordon rolls his eyes.

LARRY: Abbey, our talks were for the backstage area only.

ABBEY: You told me if I found a tag team partner you’d let me wrestle next week. I’ve worked my ass off for this, and I found a partner.

The crowd cheers. More chances to look at hot chicks? REBEL fans love it.

LARRY: OK, good for you, now tell me-

Abbey cuts him off.

ABBEY: OK. My tag team partner is Bubba J!

The crowd explodes in applause as Larry looks shocked at first.

LINZI: But, Larry Gordon fired Bubba J!

Through the crowd walks Bubba J, until he gets to the fan barrier and yells.

BUBBA: Abbey, you fuckin’ idiot. Come here!

The guards stand in his way and try to eject him.

BUBBA: I bought a ticket, you moron. Let me go!

He shows the ticket to security, and then Abbey comes to the fan barrier with her microphone. Bubba grabs it out of her hand.

BUBBA: I ain’t yer tag partner. I’ve been fired, and you’re a fucking moron.

The crowd boos, but only because they won’t see Bubba J back in the ring next week.

Abbey looks hurt, and Gordon laughs.

LARRY: Glad you’re here, Bubba. This lawsuit-

Abbey interrupts again, tears in her eyes.

ABBEY: You TOLD me you were my partner! You TOLD me I had a tag team partner! You lied to me, Bubba, and why? To watch me melt down on national television?

Even Larry stops for a second, a slight look of empathy on his face, but it quickly goes away.

LARRY: Well, you couldn’t find a partner who is employed here, so-

BUBBA: Nope, Larry, that’s where yer wrong. See, I told Abbey she has a partner, and she does, it just ain’t me. But you’ll be happy to know it ain’t someone you’ll be too happy about anyway.

A brief silence hits the arena as everyone waits to hear who Abbey’s partner will be. Abbey looks confused. Gordon looks annoyed. Bubba looks amused. Various members of the crowd look drunk.

Then, “Carbomb” by The Acacia Strain hits the speakers, and the crowd blows up HUGE!

Gordon’s jaw drops. Abbey’s eyes get huge and a smile comes across her face. Bubba has a smug look on his face.

LINZI: It’s Vincent Black! It’s Vincent Black! He’s back in a REBEL arena!

And from the crowd, from right behind Bubba, Vincent Black steps over the barricade and onto the ring side of the barricade. He looks down to Abbey, and up to Larry Gordon. A smile crosses his face as he waves to Gordon, and follows it up with a middle finger. The crowd cheers loudly as Vincent walks up the ramp to the back. The music replays again as Gordon looks on, pissed.

LINZI: The former World, Carolinas, and Tag Team Champion has returned!

A Puppets Tale 4: The Queen of The Sea


PuppetLisa: Damn! I guess I’ll just have to finsh you off with my bare hands.

Anna Mathews: What’d ai miss?

PuppetLisa’s about to finish this. It look like he’s got no more bullets.

Anna Mathews: No moar buwwets? Hay laughing boi, no more bullets!

PuppetLisa: No more bullets? Perfect.

PuppetSimon: …

PuppetLisa: Goodbye.


What the?


…well. I guess he had one bullet left.

Anna Mathews: Won bullet left? Hey laffin’ boi!

PuppetLisa: I know, I KNOW!

PuppetSimon: …

PuppetLisa: *sigh* Fine. Whatever.

Wait. You’re quitting? Just like that?

PuppetLisa: Well, somebody’s gotta be the queen of the sea. Besides I can create tidal waves and drown all of you bastards!

*Group facepalm*

REBEL Pro World Championship Match

Matt Stone versus Anna Mathews©

Maya Kalis: “Joining us at the announce table for the following match is RXW contracted interviewer….Katrina Evans!”

Katrina comes down the ramp with a clipboard in hand, as if she needs notes to know what to say about a man she was with for three years. She takes her seat beside Linzi Martin

Linzi Martin: “Welcome aboard Katrina.”

Katrina: “Thanks Linz, can’t wait for my broadcasting debut!”

Maya Kalis: “The following contest is the Main Event of the evening. Introducing first…he is the Revolution X Wrestling World Champion…”

I created the Sound of Madness
Wrote the book on pain
Somehow I’m still here to explain
That the darkest hour never comes in the night
You can sleep with a gun,
When you gunna wake up and fight?

Matt Stone comes out from the back to a chorus of boos. He struts down the ramp towards the ring, wearing his patterned hoodie with a large Maple Leaf on the back. He threatens to hit a member of the crowd who was holding up a “Canada sucks” sign and just walks on.

Maya Kalis: “From Ottawa, Ontario Canada…he weighs in at two-hundred and twenty pounds…”

I created the Sound of Madness
Wrote the book on pain
Somehow I’m still here to explain
That the darkest hour never comes in the night
You can sleep with a gun,
When you gunna wake up and fight…
For yourself?

Maya Kalis: “He is Maaaaaatt Stooooooone!”

Matt gets on the apron and gets inside the ring, heading straight to a corner and mounts the middle turnbuckle raising his hands. “I’m the best there is!” He shouts out over the loud jeers being rained down on him. He shakes his head to their reaction. “You don’t deserve to see me!” He shouts out getting down and taking off the hoodie. Matt get’s ready for his opponent, bouncing off the ropes to loosen up as his music fades away

Right off the bat, we get an unexpected surprise via Joan Jett vocals.

Who can turn the world on with a smile?
Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Multicolored spotlights flash towards the curtain as the answer to those eternal questions springs on thru dressed as a Dada-styled Mary Tyler Moore. Streamers and balloons and fifty dollar bills are raining from the sky, leaving the crowd with no alternative but to blow the roof of the building.

Maya Kalis: “Hailing from I don’t know where the fuck from near Parts unknown…”
Well, it’s you, girl and you should know it
Peach fuzz in every little movement

Heavy duty fireworks go boom. And Anna grins, squeals, barely even looking at the ring.

Maya Kalis: “She is our current Rebel Pro World Champion…”

You show that love is all around
No need to fake it
You can have the town
Why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all

She bounces and twirls down the ramp, nearly falling down a few times from getting too dizzy.

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big
And girl, this time, you’re all alone
A speedy pre-victory hand-slapping lap around the ring. Tee-hee. Pre-Victory. Followed by a baseball slide inside the ropes.
Well, it’s time you started livin’
It’s time you let someone else do some givin’

Maya Kalis: The one with DAT ASS….

The Queen of the Dodos pops up, arms outstreched, blowing kisses, her big musical ta-da
moment. Everybody has one of those, right?

Love is all around
No need to fake it
You can have the town
Why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all

Maya Kalis: “Aaaaannaaaaa…..Maaaaaaatheeeews!”

The hat is thrown up in the air. And thus ends perhaps the shortest full song entrance known at a flat minute.

Linzi Martin: “Here we go, World Champion vs World Champion”

Katrina: “You said it, Matt and Anna about to go to war!”

The camera is too far out, but we can see Matt is talking to Anna, who listens for about five seconds before she slaps Stone in the face! The bell rings and we’re underway.

Ding Ding

Stone takes a step back from the slap and Anna charges him, tackling him to the mat. The crowd pops as Anna reigns down fist after fist on Stone’s face. Matt covers up, senior referee Alan Stone does nothing to stop the physicality as Mathews continues to bring the pain. Matt is able to push her off and roll away, under the bottom rope. Stone catches his breath, but is soon hit from behind with a baseball slide from Anna, being propelled forward and over the guard rail. The Rebel Pro audience not taking to Stone, several of them get a few shots in as security comes over. Matt mouths off at a man in the audience, let’s call him Andre, and he hits Matt over the head with his beer! Anna is out of the ring now and grabs Stone’s head, pulling him back over the guard rail, catching him with a few shots to his ribs. She quickly picks Matt up and slams him down with a scoop slam. Anna looks down with disgust and walks over, grabbing a steel chair.

Linzi Martin: “Looks like Mathews is going to take this match to the next level.”

Katrina: “This won’t be good for Matt.”

To the contrary, with Anna approaching, Stone was able to get to his feet quickly and leap in the air, dropkicking the steel chair right into Anna’s face! Mathews falls to the mat, blood trickling down her forehead now. Stone reaches down and picks up the chair now, glaring down at the Rebel Pro World Champion. Stone lifts the chair and brings it down across Anna’s body once, then again and finally a third time. Matt has a confident smirk on his face now, tossing the chair aside. Matt picks Anna up, knowing that he needs her in the ring to win the World Title. He rolls her under the bottom rope and into the ring, but chooses not to follow. Stone flips the ring apron up and rummages under the ring, pulling out a wooden table. The crowd cheers as Stone drags it out and picks it up, sliding it in the ring. He then goes back under the ring and comes out with a bag. He tosses the bag inside the ring as well, fixing the ring apron and sliding back in the ring.

Linzi Martin: “What’s Matt planning here?”

Katrina: “Not sure…Matt can be very devious when he wants to.”

Anna was back to her feet now as Stone came inside the ring. She rushes over and hits Matt with a knee to the side of the head. Mathews follows up with several stomps on Stone. Anna turns her attention to the table that was brought in by Stone. Mathews pulls the legs out and flips the table over, setting it up. Anna turns back to Stone now, who ins back to his feet, and approaches. She sends an elbow at Matt’s head, backing him up. Anna hits a second and Stone is backed into a corner. With her hands gripping the top rop, Anna raises her right leg up and strikes Stone in the temple. Matt looks dazed as Anna lifts Matt up on the turnbuckle in a seated position. Anna then grabs Stone’s right leg, extending the knee and clipping it, performing a Dragon Screw Legwhip off the ropes!

Linzi Martin:: “Looks like Anna is targeting Matt’s right leg. Wise strategy?”

Katrina: “Could be, as far as I know Matt has no real weakness.”

Anna grabs Matt’s right leg while he’s prone and drives her elbow inside his leg. She straps his leg in a vine and wrenches back on it. Matt cries out in pain from the hold, trying to reach out for the ropes, not that he would be helped by such a tactic. Alan Stone asks Matt if he gives up and Matt almost spits in his face. Stone reaches down at Anna’s face and rakes her eyes, breaking her concentration and is able to squirm his leg out, kicking Anna in the back of the head in the process. Matt rolls over ad starts getting up, as does Anna. Stone grabs a hold of Anna’s head, turning around and dropping to his knees, Anna stretching out over Matt’s back with the Stone Cutter. Stone rolls Anna over for the cover.



Anna gets the shoulder up. The crowd cheers for their World Champion

Linzi Martin: “it will take more than that to take down Anna Mathews

Katrina: “Yeah, but Matt it capable of a lot more, as well.”

Not showing signs of frustration, Matt grabs Anna’s hair, bringing her back up and delivering a knee lift, doubling the Dodo Queen over. The crowd pops as they get a good view of Dat Ass. Matt has Anna in a front chancery, hooking her leg and lifting her up, she lands on her back as Matt has successfully performed the Shooterplex.



Anna is able to kick out again. Stone rolls over quickly and gets up, this time getting in Alan’s face. He’s quite convinced that should have been a three count. After sharing some words with the referee, Matt heads over and grabs the bag he had tossed in the ring. He opens it up, dumping the contents on the mat. Thumbtacks. Hundreds and hundreds of thumbtacks. He spreads them around with his boot. A soft smirk spreads across his face as he turns to get Anna, but Mathews is back to her feet and she kicks Stone right in the chest, a Heart Kick! Matt falls back right into the thumbtacks! Stone screams out in pain, rolling around trying to get away from the many sharp metal objects protruding from his body.

Katrina: “Oh my! He’s bleeding out of millions of holes in his back!”

Linzi Martin: “I don’t think it’s that many, but it is certainly a lot.”

Matt gets up to his feet, a look of pain etched on his face. Anna hits the ropes now and leaps in the air, wrapping her legs around Stone’s head, looking for a hurricanranna, however Matt uses his remaining strength to hold Anna up there. Stone takes a few steps back and turns, driving Anna straight through the table she set up! The crowd pops for the spot, even though their champion was just put through the table. Both competitors are down on the mat, remnants of table everywhere. Stone is finally able to get his arm across Anna for the pin



Katrina: “Three!”

Anna kicks out!

Linzi Martin: “No, two count! Man that was close”

Katrina: “Too close, I thought he did it!”

Alan hold up two fingers, signaling the near fall. Matt grabs the ropes, using them to help pull himself up. Anna as well is getting to her feet, but she doesn’t need the help of the ropes. She’s moving slower than Stone though, who sees Anna on her feet and screams out.

Matt Stone: “Kneel before Zod!”

Stone swings his right foot for Anna’s head, but Mathews ducks it and pushes Stone into the corner, chest first. Stone backs out winded and Anna runs at the ropes, jumping up and going for her patented Boomer fly Kick, but Stone is able to duck is as well. Anna lands on her free foot, Matt dashing forward looking for the C-c-c-c-combo Breaker, but Mathews hooks the top rope as Matt lands hard on the mat. Anna then performs a standing Corkscrew Senton on Stone! The crowds cheers as Anna makes the cover.



Stone shoots the shoulder up.

The crowd boos, thinking they had witnessed Anna retain. Mathews stays on the offense though, picking Matt up and kneeing him right in the crotch, the crowd cheering for that. Stone doubles over in pain and Mathews is able to drab him over to the corner, picking him up and dropping him, back facing her on the top turnbuckle, crutching him again. The crowd still cheers as Anna starts to climb up to the top.

Katrina: “This isn’t a side of Anna I like.”

Linzi Martin: “It’s a side of Anna she needs to win this match!”

Mathews is now standing behind Matt on the top rope. She jumps up, hooking her feet under Matt’s arms, performing a back flip, but Matt grabs the ropes at the last second, blocking the Splatastrophe! Anna’s head bounces off the mat hard as Stone turns around, repositioning himself. Mathews stats to get to her feet, determined to continue the match, however as she is getting up, Matt grabs Anna’s head and leaps off the middle rope, his knee going right into Anna’s face. C-c-c-c-combo Breaker! The crowd boos as Stone hooks Anna’s leg, the ref getting down for the count.




The crowd is still booing as the bell sounds. Stone rolls out of the ring with his music playing. We can still see some tacks in his back. He gets handed the World Title and raises it high in the air.

Maya Kalis: “Here is your winner…and NNNEEEWWWW Rebel Pro World Champion…Maaaatt Stoooone!!!”

Katrina: “He did it! Matt did it!”

Linzi Martin: “That he did, Anna never gave up, but in the end she just couldn’t match up with Stone tonight. Our General Manager can’t say anything about it, Matt won it straight up.”

Katrina: “Now he has the Rebel pro and RXW World Titles! First time ever!”

The crowd starts throwing their garbage at Stone who is gloating at ringside. He walks gingerly up the ramp, holding up the Rebel pro World Title high above his head as we fade to the REBEL Pro logo…


Mark McNasty defeats Xan Vaxman
Matt Stone defeats Anna Mathews to become the new REBEL Pro World Champion

Aggression 7-30-2012

Raise In Everything!

“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers, causing the crowd to boo heavily because they can no longer stand Larry Gordon. They forget all of the Rebel Pro action that he has brought them, the good times, the great times, the national coverage, the World coverage… they just remember the bad things. Either way, Larry Gordon doesn’t care as he steps into the ring and pulls a mic from his pocket.

“Shut the hell up, I’m still the majority owner and I’ve got something to say.”

He seems to be in great health, thanks to Simon Kalis’ money and care.

“Simon can bring letigation, he can bring lawyers, he can bring lawsuits, he can claim loopholes, he can do all that he wants to do…”

Larry smirks.

“But I’m still one percent better than him… on paper. I’m still the majority owner and there is not a damn thing he can do about it.”

He laughs, the fans boo.

“But seeing as that is, seeing as I’m still majority Rebel Pro owner… I’m suffered with a lawsuit.”

The fans cheer, Larry nods.

“Figured that you’d all like that. Oh no, Simon wants to act like he’s Mr. Big and Bad, but let a lawsuit come and… its give it to Larry, he’s still majority owner.”

The crowd laughs, Larry nods.

“True, very true. And that is why after Bubba J, idiot and stupid ass that he is… when he drove through the crowd at Prove Your Worth… he injured a fan by running over him with a truck. The other fans were not hurt terribly bad and know it is part of a Rebel Pro show… possibly. But this other fan, with several hundred thousand in medical bills, is suing Rebel Pro.. and your’s truly, for compensation.”

The fans laugh, because this is all coming out of Larry’s pocket.

“Which means a raise in prices, a raise in food prices, a raise in merchandise prices, and a rise in pay per view costs.”

The fans boo heavily, beginning to throw trash at Larry Gordon.

“Unless the man responsible for this action.. will either come up with the money… or… is fired.”

The fans boo, they love Bubba J.

“I don’t hate to do it, because he ruined a ring that we’ve used at Prove Your Worth since its inception several years ago, but he’s injured a fan and could have killed many more. So with that said… in order to save money, in order to help this fan out, in order to be able to pay the lawsuit…”

He looks backstage.

“Bubba J…. you… are… fired!”

The fans can’t help it, all kinds of trash comes flying into the ring… nachos, drinks, glass bottles, a dirty diaper, a “I Hate Gordon” poster, a piece of shit(literally), but Gordon steps out of the ring laughing and smiling.

Wyn Mangum versus Bobby Lee

Bobby Lee and Wyn Mangum were in the ring and locked up, Bobby Lee getting the advantage with a drop toe hold, quickly floating over with a side headlock. Bobby Lee squeezes Wyn’s head until she had to fight to her feet, pushing Lee off the topes and catching him with an arm drag on the rebound. Wyn hit the ropes and came back with a low drop kick on Bobby, knocking him out of the ring. Wyn got out of the ring and hoped down, picking up Bobby and slamming his head against the mat. Lee caught Wyn with an elbow to the head, Wyn pushing him backwards into the steel steps. Mangum picked Lee up, but was hit from behind with a wooden plank!

The camera zooms out and we see the Harlequin, who had come from underneath the ring carrying a piece of wood. He swung it down again, against Wyn’s head. Bobby looked confused and rolled into the ring to avoid the assault. A third time, this time against her ribs the wooden plank made contact with Mangum. Harlequin picked up Wyn and rolled her into the ring. Lee took advantage and rushed over, jumping in the air and flailing his arms and legs at Wyn, his Psycho Paraphenalia connecting enough to knock Mangum down on the mat. Bobby pinned her and got the 1 2 3!

Winner: Bobby Lee

Harlequin slid in the ring now, the piece of wood still in his hand. Bobby, having won the match, rolled out of harms way as Harlequin starts bringing the wood down on Wyn again and again, the crowd booing as he does so. After what seems like a dozen times, Harlequin holds the wood high in the air, a sinister laugh can be heard. The clown then exists the ring and rolls under it as Rebel doctors come down to check on Wyn.

Revenge of the Apostle IV: Operation Poutine Plunder

Once more our hero boldly treds upon the halls in which he has been restricted from.What? Of course he bought a ticket but he’s boldly walking the halls where fans can’t go. Don’t argue with me , dick. I’m narrating this shit. Anyway, the captain of conspiracy is walking about the bowels of the backstage area like a fucking boss. That is when he beholds a most curious sight a Michelin starred chef rushing through the halls with a silver platter. To answer his curiosity Figgy decides to do so in the most effective way possible, be annoying. He stands in the middle of the halway, blocking th path of the petite man in a toque.

Chef: “Get out of my way you imbecile! This poutine must be delivered while it is still fresh. I can not be late, Monsieur Kalis will be cross”

Figgy grinned wide at the hearing of the intended patron, wheels in his head began to turn. Much like how the wheels of SNS’ motorcycle used to. Oh snap! He cleared his throat an dipped his head to the short frenchy dude.

Figgy: “Oh, I do so apologize. It seems you haven’t gotten the memo. I am supposed to pick it up for him he’s running a bit late.”

The short fuck eyed him suspiciously cause he is a cynical french bastard. But seeing as he already been paid he didn’t really care. Figgy takes the platter from the french man and heads in the opposite direction. Figgy could not idly stand let Kalis dine on specially catered food while he was stuck eating two dollar nachos. It would have been a great injustice upon the world. But since stealing food was small he contemplated his next step while munching on fries.

Figgy:”Operation poutine plunder successfull”

He chuckles at his lame ass musing while we fade to Purple. Seriously? Why is it always black?

Hail To The GM

The Rebel-Tron lights up to the General Managers office. Tamika Nash Strader is sitting not in her chair, but across from the boss chair. We can’t see who’s in that spot. Tamika leans back and speaks.

Tamika: So, you sure you want this job, dad?

The crowd pops as they see Scott Nash Strader sitting in the boss’s chair. Scott puts his feet up on the desk and smiles.

Scott: Oh I think I can handle it. There are a few people on the roster… that truly interest me. Three in particular.

Tamika: Remember, try and be fair would ya? I don’t want to take back over for you.

Scott waves it off.

Scott: generic cialis I’ll be fine. You just go worry about your ring career in Victory Wrestling. I got this one.

Tamika: If you are sure…

Scott: Trust me!

Linzi Martin: Again, a new General Manager!

Jester J: A guy that lost to that masked loser, Virgin? Wonderful, by!

“Five Minutes Alone” Hits the sound system and the arena comes to their feet for the big man Scott Nash Strader. Scott struts out from behind the curtain, microphone in hand, and stands at the top of the ramp. His music lowers and he raises the microphone to his mouth.

Scott: Matthew Stone. It’s been brought to my attention that you have cashed in your number one contender trophy for a shot at Anna Mathews world title…

Scott lowers the mic and looks around before bringing it back up to his lips with a question.

Scott: What the fuck took you so long? Scared of a little girl? A little girl that crushes her opponents and makes guys like you look like trash. Of course, that’s not hard. Meghan and Tamika have done it, twice. But that’s all in the past, isn’t it? You are RxW World Champion, King of — oh wait, that’s not right, — and now you want the Rebel Pro World title…

Scott stops and listens to the crowd boo Matt Stone.

Scott: Well, you earned the shot, so next week… you will face the Dodo Queen for her Rebel Pro World title.

This makes the fans boo louder.

Scott: While you have this shot Stone… I want to make one thing clear… anyone interferes in the match? You lose your job, your tag team title, and well, you will cost that fat slut Emily Corlen her tag team title and her job. Let me make this absolutely crystal fucking clear for everyone… You decide to stick your nose in this match? You are fired. Plain and simple.

This information has the fans cheering.

Scott: So enjoy your FAIR and EVEN match-up with Anna Mathews. Remember Stone, I’m fucking serious. You in any way try and fuck Anna Mathews out of her title without truly earning it? Kiss your Rebel-Pro career bye.

‘5 Minutes Alone’ starts back over the counter viagra up as the fans cheer on the new General Manager.

The Harlequin versus Jaice Wilds

Jaice was able to take three steps down the ramp before he was blindsided by the Harlequin, attacking him behind with a piece of lumber! Harlequin was able to knock Jaice down and bring the wood down on his torso a few times, the crowd booing. Harlequin picked him up and rammed his head into the barricade separating the crowd and the competitors. Harlequin picked up the wood again and went to ram in into Wilds’ stomach, but the RPW competitor caught the wood and gave the clown a ick in the stomach, ripping the wood out of his hands. Jaice then brought the lumber down upon Harlequin’s head and dropped the man. Jaice held up the wood as the crowd cheered. He then brought it down across Harlequin’s knee. The clown screamed out in pain as Wilds picked him up and started walking hi down the ramp, tossing him in the ring.

Ding Ding

The crowd was getting into it now as Jaice and Harlequin were to their feet. Jaice caught the clown in the gut with a toe kick and dropped him straight down on his head with a ddt. Jaice shot the half and got a two count. Jaice grabbed his green hair and brought him to his feet, going to send him into the ropes, but Harlequin counters and send Jaice at the ropes who does a quick hand stand, bouncing off the ropes, getting back to his feet and hitting the clown in the face with his elbow. Jaice went for the cover and got a second 2 count. Jaice got another hold of the green hair and picked up Harlequin, but was stopped with a rake to the eyes. Harlequin picked him up and dropped him straight on his head. The brain buster was enough for Harlequin to get a 2 count, but not a three.

Harlequin and Jaice started getting back up to their feet at the same time, Harlequin throwing the first punch, Jaice throwing the second and they went back and forth on it for a bit, the crowd cheering Jaice and booing Harlequin. Harlequin was getting the advantage and Jaice was backing down. HQ picked up the wooden log and swung it at Jaice, but he was able to duck out of the way and swept Harlequin’s legs out.

Jaice tried to grab the wood, but the Harlequin leapt off the mat and hit him below the belt. Jaice doubled over and the clown grabbed his head, driving it straight into the piece of wood! With Pie in his Eye, Harlequin was able to roll over Wilds and hook his leg, getting the 1 2 3.

Winner: The Harlequin

Revenge of the Apostle V

Our Hero continues his trek through the halls, silver platter still resting in his hands as he begins to ponder why exactly he is carrying the thing around.Maybe he’d have something awesome to put init? Not likely. Melt it down and make it into silver bullets? Nah werewolves are bitches. Maybe hock it? We have a mothafuckin winner! While he wanders down the falls with his fuckin boss like swagger he runs into a very familar rac- er face. The familiar rack…I mean face belongs to that of Maya Kalis.

Maya: You’re a fucking moron. Are you trying to piss my old man off?

Our hero takes on a look of outrage! How dare she speak such slander.

Figgy: I am shocked that you would say such a thing. I wouldn’t dream of angering your father! I’m just stealing his food. Ok..maybe I was trying to piss him off a little bit. Damn it you try to resist a little french dwarf waving a silver platter around.

Maya places her hands upon her hips, rolling her eyes. Obviously calling the bluff of the Figeffect she bore little patience for his antics. But Figgy fails to notice or give a rats ass while he munches once more upon the dish.

Maya: You’re putting yourself in a life threatening situation.

Figgy: Don’t call it a threat, I’ll enjoy it more than anything else.

And the stare down begins. One daring the other to make a move. But for some reason a winde grin spread across his awesome features.

Figgy: I do have something to possibly keep me busy

Before Maya could ask what he leads her by the hand off camera.

Carrots, Puppets & Other Stuff

Hey look, everybody! It’s another halfassed seggy nobody’s going to read! Joy.

Anna Mathews: Boooooooring!

Everybody in the back–scratch that–everybody in the universe agrees.

PuppetLiza: Anna, that’s not very nice. Is it, George?

George the Bunny Rabbit just glares and nibbles on his carrot. The Self-Professed Royalty of Extict Birds licks at her cheese popsicle. And yes, it’s excatly what you’d imagine it’d look like.

Anna Mathews: Ai doant’s kare. Cereal. Keenan versus McNastyburger? Yawn. Wilds und a klown? Double yawn. Bobby Lee nawt being raped bi aliens? The hell ish dis stuff?

PuppetLisa: It’s called “stuffing all the horrible people in a card and add the world champion in to boost ratings”. Everybody does it.

Jesus, where are all these puppets coming from?

PuppetTeresa: Win win in inner winny win.

I didn’t know you popped out of mole holes. Thanks, PuppetTeresa.

PuppetTeresa: Win win.

PuppetLisa: Why are you bitching about it anyway?

Le shrug.

Anna Mathews: ‘Cause et’s hilariously dum. Plus it’s inn my contrakt. In teh event I pwn the wolld shiny, eye gotta due at least won on air segment four ev’ry Aggression I’m inn.

Frantic wave!

Anna Mathews: An I doo it for joo peepoles! Mmm-kay, I wuv you, buh-bi!

Non-Title Match

Anna Mathews versus Scott Nash Strader

The lights in the arena dim as the opening riff of “5 Minutes Alone” hit’s the p.a. system. The Rebel-Tron lights up with a headshot of Scott Nash Strader looking down, with his blonde hair hanging in his face. He slowly lifts his head as the words to the song begin.

Maya Kalis: Introducing first, my sexy grandpa with the moves like Jagger…

##I see you had your mind all made up you group of Pitiful liars.
Before I woke to face the day, your master Plan transpired.
Something told me- this job had more to Meet the eye.
My song is not believed?
My words some- What deceiving? Now I’m unwhole.##

Scott Nash Strader steps out from behind the curtain followed by his sister Vanessa Strader. She joins at him his side as he closes eyes and looks upwards.

Maya Kalis: Hailing from London, Ontario but actually from Houston, Texas….

##But you can’t crush the kingdom
Can’t be what your idols are. Can’t leave the scar.
You cry for compensation. I ask you please just give us…##

As they begin to walk down to the ring, Scott wearing a white muscle shirt, blue jeans and a pair of buckled black leather biker boots. Vanessa is in a beige women’s powersuit.

Maya Kalis: Our new General Manager….

##5 minutes alone##

##5 minutes alone##

##5 minutes alone##

Maya: Scott Nash Strader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scott leans back as he grabs onto the ring ropes to pull himself up. He steps through the second and third rope as his sister takes her spot on the floor in his corner
Maya Kalis: His opponent…

Right off the bat, we get an unexpected surprise via Joan Jett vocals.
Who can turn the world on with a smile?
Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Multicolored spotlights flash towards the curtain as the answer to those enternal questions springs on thru dressed as a Dada-styled Mary Tyler Moore. Streamers and baloons and fifty dollar bils are raining from the sky, leaving the crowd with no alternative but to blow the roof of the building.

Maya Kalis: Hailing from I don’t know where the fuck from near Parts unknown…

Well, it’s you, girl and you should know it
Peach fuzz in every little movement
Heavy duty fireworks go boom. And Anna grins, squeals, bearly even looking at the ring.

Maya Kalis: She is our current Rebel Pro World Champion…

You show that love is all around
No need to fake it
You can have the town
Why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
She bounces and twirls down the ramp, nearly falling down a few times from getting too dizzy.
How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big
And girl, this time, you’re all alone
A speedy pre-victory hand-slapping lap around the ring. Tee-hee. Pre-Victory. Followed by a baseball slide inside the ropes.
Well, it’s time you started livin’
It’s time you let someone else do some givin’

Maya Kalis: The one with DAT ASS….

The Queen of the Dodos pops up, arms outstreched, blowing kisses, her big musical ta-da moment. Everybody has one of those, right?
Love is all around
No need to fake it
You can have the town
Why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all

Maya Kalis: Anna Mathews!!!!!!!!!!
The hat is thrown up in the air. And thus ends perhaps the shortest full song entrance known at a flat minute.

Linzi Martin: This should be a good one J!

Jester Jay: Bah, he’ll lose again, by. He sucks.

Scott and Anna meet in the middle of the ring, and they look into each other’s eyes with one looking up and the other looking down. Something seems to catch the old man’s eye, and the announcers notice.

Linzi Martin: Is that????

Jester J: It is, by! Jacob Figgins!!

Scott yells into the front at Figgins, but he just points behind Scott. Scott turns around and is met with a Boomer Fly Kick! Scott falls hard to the mat and the referee calls for the bell.


For good measure, the Adorable Retard jumps up to the top rope and hits the Slash and Burn and covers Scott Nash Strader.

Linzi Martin: I think our GM is about to set a record.

Jester J: Yeah, a bad one at that, by.




Maya Kalis: And your winner…. DAT ASS!!!!!!!!!!!

Meghan Nash Strader comes out at the top of the ramp shaking her head laughing at her father as Anna makes her way up the ramp. The camera pans to see Jacob Figgins is gone and a frustrated Scott coming to in the ring.

Revenge of the Apostle VI

After a long day of doing whatever a Kalis does, probably using his gold fillings to to transmit hate mongering messeges to lesbians in sweden. He decides to finally wind down from his long day of baby punching and Various other vile deeds that nned not be mentioned in the possible prescience of children. office where he could enjoy a nice cigar and a heaping serving of his beloved poutine. And just when he though that nothing could kill his relaxation time, a fucking chicken flies out of his office.A live fucking chicken.

Simon pushed his door open and stared at the the scene revealed before him. The room was full of cluckin’ fuckin’ chickens. Maya sat beside the desk covered by only an aggression poster panting.

Maya: Oh wow…oh wow…oh wow…

And his desk was all kinds of fucked, but there was a glimmer of hope. The silver platter lay there with the dome on top. His office is all kinds of messed up , but he had his poutine. He lifted open the lid to find…A Figgy bobble head doll and a note

“Hope you don’t mind, but I borrowed your limo for a booze run.”

Peace bro;

Simon: …!

Maya wipes the sweat from her brow and smiles.

Maya: Hey dad! Erhm.. >_>

Simon Kalis: … x_o

Fade to commercial.

REBEL Pro Presents…

LIVE! Monday August 13th, 2012 From The Aggression Arena in Durham, NC!
SUPER AGGRESSION: The Kingdom of Death II

AoWF King of Extreme Championship Match

Mark McNasty versus Virgil Keenan

Ding Ding

McNasty with a right jab catches Keenan off his game, rocking him backwards a step; McNasty presses his advantage with a left jab, following it up with a kick to Virgil’s left knee. Keenan goes down, McNasty pressing his advantage with a dropkick to the face that sends Keenan to sit in the corner. McNasty with a running knee to the face gets him an even bigger advantage, as he nails him with a second and a third knee to the face. McNasty with a charge, but Keenan lifts a foot, causing McNasty to impale himself on Virgil’s boot, effectively giving himself a lowblow. McNasty turns around, Keenan quickly taking him down with a bulldog to the canvas. Keenan locks on a side side headlock, but exchanges it quickly for a hair pull and tosses McNasty over the top rope to the outside. Virgil climbs up, launching himself off with a body splash on to the hapless McNasty.

Keenan rolls off, whipping Mark in to the railing, following it up with a clothesline that sends him over and in to the front row. Keenan picks up a chair, nailing Mark and busting him open slightly over his right eye. Keenan climbs over the railing, nailing Mark with a second chair shot, and a third for good measure. Mark falls down into an old lady’s lap, face first, getting blood all over her shirt and jeans. The woman shoves him off, looking at her newly purchased Rebel-Pro t-shirt with a bit of awe and disgust at the ruination. Mark tries to pull himself up, but Virgil with a kick to the back of his skull sends him face first onto the concrete. Virgil follows it up with another kick, but it misses and Mark nails him in the thigh with a pocketbook, which really distracts Virgil from his pursuit. It gives Mark the time he needs as he nails Virgil with the pocketbook again in the face, causing all kinds of stuff to fly out of the purse. McNasty with a fist rocks Virgil backwards against the railing. Mark leaps up onto the seats of two chairs, launching himself with a flying clothesline, but Virgil manages to catch him, a sort of half back body drop sends them both over the railing and back to ringside.

Both men lay there for a moment, before Virgil pulls himself up and leans over Mark with a bit of glee in his eyes. Mark nails him with a fingernail file, slicing Virgil open on his left cheek, then ducking under a wild right punch to deliver a fingernail file jab to the right face cheek. Virgil is pissed now and charges at Mark, who ducks under and back body drops him onto the ring apron. Mark digs under the ring quickly to come up with a wrench, nailing Virgil’s lower back with the steel weapon for added pain. Mark nails him in the hamstring, in the back of the right knee, and left calf for good measure. Virgil is trying to comfort all of his pains when Mark spins him around, slamming the wrench right in his midsection which causes all of Virgil’s air to come whoosing out of his lungs in one flood. Mark grabs him, planting his face onto the apron and into the ring post. Mark goes for a second ringpost shot, but Virgil manages to catch the blow, elbowing Mark in the face and then slamming his face into the post. Mark falls back, blood now covering both men’s faces and Virgil picks up the wrench. Virgil swings, but McNasty falls, the wrench swooshing past harmlessly. Virgil is off balance from the momentum, but as he falls, his elbow lands on Mark’s windpipe, as both men fall to the floor. Virgil begins to roll over to his feet, McNasty doing the same, Mark gasping for each breath as he does so.

Virgil finds the wrench, nailing McNasty in the back, in the leg, and in the back of the skull that almost rolls him back in to the ring. Virgil rolls him on in and pulls a ladder out from under the table, sliding it in as well. Virgil isn’t finished though as he pulls out a set of tables to hopefully create a big ass move to end this match. McNasty is up in the ring, disoriented, but he’s standing. He spots Virgil digging up under the ring for something else and hits the ropes. Mark dives through the ropes, grabs Virgil’s head, and spins around with a tornado DDT from inside to outside of the ring; Virgil’s skull cracks on the floor and McNasty rolls to the railing, his energy spent.

After a few moments, both men begin to stir, but McNasty is moving slightly faster, because his skull didn’t headbutt the floor as hard as Virgil’s did. Virgil is up to his knees as McNasty is leaning up against the railing for some support; his left leg seems to have taken some damage from that move. Mark limps over, but Virgil is just kneeling with his head lowered. McNasty with a spinning knee, but Virgil with a staple gun nails McNasty with several staples right in his crotch! The men in the crowd groan, the kids laugh, and the women scream at the brutality of the offensive move. McNasty falls back, doing his best to try and pull the staples out; Virgil presses his advantage on McNasty with several staples to the forehead, cheek, arms, and chest of his opponent in this match. Its evident from this brutality that both men want this honor for Rebel Pro and are willing to go to any length to bring it home. Virgil runs out of staples, McNasty smiles at this, blood filling his mouth, but Virgil nails him between the eyes with the gun, knocking him against the ring steps. Virgil retrieves a chair, placing it on Mark’s face, and a second chair about five feet in front of Mark. Virgil runs, launching himself off the chair, coming down on Mark with a double foot stomp, McNasty is now limp as he’s probably wondering why don’t he just retire from the AOWF.

Virgil picks him up, rolling him into the ring and sets up the couple of tables(one in the corner and one up like he’s gonna lay Mark on it). He whips Mark into the corner table, following quickly after, but Mark runs up the table, flips over behind Virgil, and dives forward and sending Virgil’s head crashing through the wood as he slides out of the ring. Mark digs under the ring now, pulling out a roll of barbed wire and a bag marked “tacks”. McNasty smiles as he climbs back in, dumping the tacks right near Virgil and lifting him up… brainbuster on the tacks causes several to stick into Keenan’s scalp. However, McNasty isn’t finished as he lifts Virgil back up… faceplant into the tacks and now Virgil has as much metal in his face as does Mark. McNasty is smiling now and whips Virgil into the ropes, catching him and delivering a stunning spinebuster onto the remaining thousand tacks, of which about 700 or so stick into Virgil’s back.

Mark grabs the spool of barbed wire, beginning to unwind it from the spool, when Virgil starts stiring, though its more like he’s twitching at Mark’s feet. Mark lays several lenghts of wire on the table, before wrapping his foot in the wire and snapping off that piece as well. Mark climbs up to the top of the ladder, going for a single leg foot stomp onto Virgil, when he leaps. Virgil flips up(ala Shawn Michaels), catching Mark, and spinebusting him through the barbed wire table, sending bits of wood up into the air and the wire to wrap around them both. The referee checks on both men and indicates that they are breathing, even if they are bloody as a butcher’s apron on meat cutting day. Virgil rolls out of the debris, bits of McNasty’s flesh, hair, and wire sticking to himself as he stumbles for the ropes for something to lean on. McNasty begins to stir, rolling over onto his right side, then up to his knees. Virgil looks down, noticing that a length of wire has gotten itself wrapped around his boot. McNasty’s face is covered in blood, he’s blinded by the crimson flow, but he still feels as Virgil connects with a 60 yard fieldgoal(to win the game in double overtime) right between his legs. Again, the men in the crowd groan and hold themselves; its the second nut shot that Mark has taken in this match.

Virgil is saddistic as he pulls Mark back up, wrapping a barbed wire leash around his neck and launching him over the top rope, to dangle like a Christmas Turkey from a butcher’s window over the top rope. Mark Virgil heaves on the wire, slicing himself in the process as Mark fights the choking wire around his neck. Mark begins to pass out and Virgil senses a victory, he is the shark smelling the blood in the water. Mark manages to get a foot onto the apron, then dives forward, pulling the wire through Virgil’s hands as well as himself over the top rope!

Mark gasps for air, Virgil’s head has connected solidly with the concrete twice here in this match, but neither man are much for any more in this contest. Mark is sitting up against the ring apron, Virgil is laying there staring back at him, both wondering who is going to have the strength to finish the other off.Mark shoves himself up, Virgil just watches, but Mark is weary of Virgil now; Virgil the same of Mark. McNasty walks over close to Virgil, and Virgil plays his hand of tossing some tacks at Mark for a distraction. Mark stomps down on Keenan’s chest, then pulls him back up, rolling him into the ring next to the ladder. McNasty digs under the ring, bringing out another bag of tacks, broken glass, lighter fluid, staples, a used condom?, and firecrackers. McNasty smiles as he slides two more tables onto the ring’s canvas. He grabs a lighter, and pulls open Virgil’s pants, pouring fluid down his trunks before lighting the firecrackers and tossing them down Virgil’s pants. Virgil is really out cold and the men are already groaning.

Virgil screams as he beats himself in the crotch, trying to put out the firecrackers and flames that were ignited from the firecrackers, McNasty is laughing, until Virgil tosses a still lit firecracker at him. The lit fuse ignites the fluid on Mark’s hand, then it ignites the can of fluid in Mark’s hand; viagra effetti collaterali the can explodes right in Mark’s face which causes him to stumble backwards into the ladder, trip over the table, and come crashing down face first near the used condom. Virgil, limping heavily, comes over, gingerly pulling Mark up, and touching the used condom… going to rub it right into Mark’s face. Mark with a ball shot doubles Virgil over and Mark rams the used condom into Virgil’s mouth, causing him to gag and puke in the middle of the ring. Mark falls back against the ropes, he charges at Virgil. Mark slips, Virgil, sheer instinct, catches Mark, nailing him with a sit-out spinebuster right into the puddle of puke!

Virgil pulls the now disgusting McNasty up, ramming his fist into his face and doing his best to gouge his eyes out of his skull, but McNasty tries to fight back, Virgil silences the fight with a well placed boot to the gut. Virgil sets up the tables, covers them in glass and tacks(as Mark tries to breath) and covers the remaining in barbed wire. Virgil grabs McNasty, pulling him up onto the top of the ladder and then up onto his shoulders. Virgil leaps off, driving McNasty’s skull and body through the two tables of debris, but Virgil also catches a bit of it as well… though not near as much as McNasty does. Virgil makes the cover.





Virgil can’t believe it, Virgil is astonished that McNasty is still alive, because he knows the pain that he is feeling. He pulls McNasty back up, setting him up for a suplex, and delivers it perfectly onto the debris, but McNasty is not in a position to be covered and Virgil is upset about this. Both men are covered in sawdust, glass, tacks, pieces of barbed wire, they are both burnt, they are both hurting and are definitely going to be hurting for tomorrow’s press conference. McNasty picks up a length of wood, Virgil does the same, and both men are definitely swaying on their feet; neither can stand still. Blood is pumping out of wounds, but they are still standing. Virgil swings, McNasty dodges, sending a swing back of his own. Both swings are weak and do not trouble the other, but they are off balance. They charge in(as much as they can) and swing.

McNasty connects with the length of wood, driving the blunt in onto the place where Virgil’s heart would be and causes him to fall down. McNasty’s slight momentum is enough to send him toppling onto Virgil and there is a cover!




Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match and NEEEEEEEEEEEW AOWF King O’Extreme tadalafil online Champion… Mark McNasty!


Bobby Lee defeats Wyn Mangum
The Harlequin defeats Jaice Wilds
Anna Mathews defeats Scott Nash Strader
Mark McNasty defeats Virgil Keenan and becomes new AoWF King of Extreme Champion

Aggression 7-16-2012

The Branches of Sin

Earlier Tonight…

We fade backstage, and it’s here we see Matthew Engel arriving earlier in the evening. As he enters the arena he is met with a trash can, crumpled over his head. Engel drops his duffle bag, and lays in a left hook on his attacker. The man attacking takes the hit, we still can’t clearly see who it is though. Engel lifts a knee to the attackers chest. The attack keels forward but then charges Engel spearing him into the wall. He grabs Engel by the head and neck and throws Engel. Engel goes flying right through a pane of glass. And that’s when we see him.

The Alliance of Wrestling Federations Intercontinental Champion, Thomas Manchester Black. He wipes off his hands and walks off…

Revenge of the Apostle I: Nacho Edition

We open to a concession stand in an arena. A stand frequently visited by red necks and various others who refuse to count calories and are easily allured by bright colors and sugar. But today it is visited by a man who is normally one of those watched by the spectators. But tonight he is just an average jack off in line just another day in the nachozone.

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Figgy: ” I want gatoraides two of every flavour you have. Then I want four nachos, six corndogs, ten churros, and a box of tic tacs”

Our hero leaves the stand with his bundle of food which seems to be placed on a large tray. He seemed to have no idea why he was so hungry but wasn’t going to complain. But soon a wild Scott Nash Srader appears and uses leer . It’s not very effective since Figgy seemed focused on downing a blue gatoraide.

Figgy: Oh hey strader

SNS: What the fuck do you think you are doing?

Figgy: I know, I know the food here is terrible but I needed a nacho fix

SNS: Why the fuck are you even here?

Figgy: Oh that? I’m cool I bought the ticket off some old guy.

Strader crosses his arms suspiciously knowing Figgy had to be up to something.

SNS: I’ll be watching you Fig.

Figgy: okey doeky

Figgy tawdles off seeming unphased by the threat from Strader. And we fade to black.

Welcome to REBEL Pro Handicap Match!

“The Virus” Matthew Engel versus Golden Inferno

Jester Jay: After that beat down from Thomas Manchester Black, we got to wonder if Engel can compete like this, by.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, I guess that’s why…

Suddenly Second 2 None’s theme hits, yeah I don’t remember it’s some shit by Metallica fuck off, and the crowd goes nuts. They make their way to the ring and get inside, hoisting up the PWA Tag Team titles.

Second 2 None versus Golden Inferno

Matt Engel and Jethro Hayes stand in the ring.

Linzi Martin: So where’s Golden Inferno?

Jester Jay: Ah, here we go.

Two large men come from the back, carrying Jeremy Gold. He’s in a tattered suit, and has a white trail out of one nostril, while blood comes from the other. They carry him to the ring, and throw him in. He cowers in the corner and Engel and Hayes laugh in the other corner.

Linzi Martin: Well…that’s half of them. Where’s “Inferno?”

As if on cue, Inferno runs out from the back. He lets out a “WOOOO” as he holds up his arms, then empties a canister of gas on himself. Another cheer before he strikes a match, and lights himself on fire. The cheers turn to screams as he does three loops, then runs off the stage and crashes through some electrical equipment. The lights flicker a few times, before coming back on. The ref shakes his head, and signals for the bell, not knowing what else to do. Jethro and Matt walk towards Jeremy, and he climbs up onto the top turnbuckle in a ball, much like a cat on a chair. They drag him off, and hold him up, and we see his pant leg turn a different color before liquid begins dropping from the bottom. They drop him, and simply begin stomping away. Jeremy screams much like a little girl, and Jethro gives him a boot to the face to shut him up.

Jester Jay: I’m sure redneck hillbilly hick there knows a thing or two about shutting bitches up.

Linzi Martin: You better shut your mouth before Jethro decides to do it for you.

Gold begins foaming at the mouth; probably a side effect of that white streak coming from his nose, and Jethro decides to end it with the Plow. As for Engel – already on the top turnbuckle -he immediately crashes down on Gold with the Euthanasia. Jethro points as Matt gets on his knees, and puts his pinkie on Gold.




Winners: Second 2 None.

Revenge of the Apostle II

We once more see our hero, this time standing in the parking lot with a churro in his teeth as if it were a cigar. He approached four teenagers and one who looked like he had an overactive pituitary gland . Figgy smiles wide at the group.

Figgy: Wanna make $1000?

And we fade…

Virgil Keenan versus Scott Nash Strader

The referee ref gives the cue for both men to meet in the middle. As they step to the middle of the ring, you can see the hight difference between the two men. Strader smiles and nails Keenan with a big time right hand. The crowd reacts with a pop as SNS starts to unload on the smaller Virgil. Keenan quickly drops down, causing SNS to miss a haymaker and nails a dropkick to the knee. Strader stumbles back as Keenan tries to get on the offense by firing punches and chops. He gets Scott to the ropes and goes for the flipping dropkick, but SNS uses both hands to send Virgil down to the mat.

Linzi Martin: Strader looking to get into shape to go up to the newest Rebel Pro talent Second 2 None.

Jester Jay: Wouldn’t you when your partner has one eye?

SNS picks up Keenan and whips him into the corner, Scott rushes in and drives his knee into the midsection of Virgil. Quickly lift Keenan up on the top turnbuckle. Scott fires a few shots at Virgil before joining him on the ropes. He hooks him up in a double arm underhook before leaping back and riving Virgil’s head into the mat. Over Rye Drive!!! Virgil shakes a little as SNS floats over for the pin.




Virgil gets the arm up as SNS looks down with disgust. He picks Keenan and fires a few kicks to the stomach, before backing into the ropes. Strader comes off looking for the big boot to the side of the head, but Virgil dodges. SNS plants his foot and with blinding speed springs around for a clothesline. Keenan catches the arm and leaps up, nailing a picture perfect leaping armbreaker. Virgil backs up before leaping in the air and driving a knee into the back of SNS’ neck. Scott holds his neck as Virgil sits him up and quickly hooks in a Dragon Sleeper, leaning back trying to apply as much pressure as possible.

Linzi Martin: Keenan is showing he can keep up with AOWF veterans.

Jester Jay: You kidding? Virgin gives us Newfies a bad name, by.

Keenan stands up, still keeping the hold on. In one quick motion, Virgil drops SNS’ neck right on his knee, before letting him hit the mat. Virgil steps back and is measuring SNS up. Strader gets to his knees and out of nowhere Virgil nails a swinging neckbreaker. Strader’s neck bounces up off the mat as Keenan looks to stay on the attack. Keenan hits the ropes and comes off with a giant leg drop. Virgil follows through and hops up before hopping up on his feet. Virgil quickly hooks the leg.




SNS powers out, still showing signs of strength as Virgil rolls off of him. Keenan goes for a soccer kick, but SNS catches his legs and lifts him up over his shoulder. Virgil starts to fire his knees into the chest of Strader, trying to make him let go.

Jester Jay: Scott is looking pissed off, by.

Virgil finally nails a good elbow shot, right around the ears of SNS. Scott loosens his grip. Virgil with a knee to midsection, he steps back and sends another knee right to the temple of SNS. Not hitting hard enough to kill, but hitting hard enough for him to take Scott off his feet.

Linzi Martin: What a crushing shot to SNS!!!

SNS rolls under the bottom rope to the outside, trying to put space between him and Keenan. Keenan, not trying to waste a moment runs towards the ropes and leaps over with a cross body block. Scott at the last minute moves out of the way, causing Virgil to hit the floor. SNS shakes the cobwebs out of his head and leaps on the guardrailing, before twisting off, nailing Virgil with a huge elbow to the skull. SNS rolls Keenan back into the ring and slides in after him. Keenan is quickly back up to his feet and is coming off the ropes as SNS is up on one knee. Virgil jumps and seems to hang in the air for a moment before nailing SNS square in the face with a dropkick. SNS falls back into the seated position and before he can do anything, Virgil plants a boot straight into the jaw of SNS.

SNS doesn’t move for a moment so Virgil slaps SNS into a Dragon Sleeper.

Linzi Martin: And SNS is trying to fight out of the hold.

Keenan lifts up, looking to go for another knee neckbreaker. Somehow, SNS is able to fight and fight until he is able to reverse the hold into an inverted DDT. He lifts Keenan up for an inverted suplex and drapes him hard on the ring ropes. Virgil is just hanging there as Scott climbs the turnbuckle, SNS leaps from the top turnbuckle driving his elbow into the back of Virgil, causing him to flip into the ring. Strader pulls himself up, using the ropes and is waiting for Virgil to move. Strader wraps up Keenan while he still is on the ground, Scott hooks his feet under his arms and Keenan up, slamming down him down on the ground two to three times.

Linzi Martin: Cherry Whiskey Bomb and it looks like SNS wants to makes sure Keenan stays down this time.

Scott picks him up and Irish Whips him to the corner. Scott yanks Virgil in and lifts him up in a Gorilla Press Slam, but instead Virgil manages to slip out of it and hits SNS with the Burning Hammer.


Jester Jay: Fuck the Newfie got this one, by.





Maya Kalis: And the winner of this match… and not my sexy ass grandfather… VIRGIN KEENAN!!!!!

The referee raises Virgil’s hand in the air and he points to the crowd and then to the Order of Chaos flags that flank the REBELTron, disgust behind the mask of his.

Linzi Martin: Virgil is back on a winning track.

Jester Jay: Ay that he is.

Virgil leaves the ring, making his way up the ramp. SNS is up in the ring and shakes it all off. It’s as Virgil gets to the top of the ramp he takes a step back. Simon Kalis steps forward, adjusting his trench coat before reaching into his breast pocket. Simon produces an envelope, the camera zooms in and it’s clearly marked “Dear Virgil Keenan”. He hands it to Keenan and pats him on the shoulder.

Linzi Martin: What’s all this about? Do you think Simon is giving Virgil an invite to The Order?

Virgil looks at the envelope and opens it up. It’s a single page, and the camera picks up on the big letters:


Kalis walks towards the ring, grinning, Virgil just crumples up the letter and chucks it into the crowd before heading to the back.

Revenge of the Apostle III

The scene opens to reveal Scott Nash Strader standing in the parking lot with a clenched fist The camera pans over showing the chopper owned by SNS was compleltly upside down standing upon it’s handle bars. Sitting perfectly one the rear tire stood a bobble head in the likeness of figgy. SNS picks up the doll and crushes the head in his hand…

REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Match

Wyn Mangum versus Jaice Wilds versus Mark McNasty©

As all three got into the ring, McNasty and Wilds fight each other. They exchange a quick succession of lefts and rights, before McNasty takes Wilds down with a well executed hip toss. He follows it up with a few swift kicks but Wyn gets McNasty with a russian leg sweep. Wyn and Wilds lock up now. They get no where struggling with each other, then push each other away and back up from each other and then both charge forward. Wilds grabs onto Wyn by her shoulders and leapfrogs over her grabbing onto the back of her head and dropping her down with a reverse neckbreaker. Wyn is up immediately to her surprise and lands a devastating superkick to the Wilds sending him bouncing on the canvas. McNasty quickly grabs Wyn and whips her into the corner. She stumbles forward and then gets hit with spinning mule kick from the Aggression Champion. Wilds is up, and he runs up, jumps on the turnbuckle and then cross body splashes onto both Wyn and McNasty. He covers them both!



Wilds is back up quickly. Out of nowhere he lands an asai moonsault on McNasty and Wyn but Wyn is quick to recover and she jumps to her feet. He goes to clotheseline Wyn, but she ducks and kicks out his knees from under him. She grabs him by the hair and slams him to the canvas. Wyn goes to the top rope and hits a flying elbow drop on Jaice Wilds!



BREAK! McNasty rips Wyn off and lifts her up. But Wyn cracks McNasty with an elbow and follows it up with a Rude Awakening style neckbreaker! Wilds is up and dropkicks her in the back of the head. Wilds goes up top quickly to capitalize, AERIAL ACE ON MARK MCNASTY! He’s up and points to a fan at ringside who has a “Fuck You, Kyle!” sign and gives him a thumbs up as he covers.



NO!!!! Wyn breaks the count just in time and saves the match.

Jaice pushes Wyn off of him and they’re both to their feet. Wilds bounces off the ropes and goes for a drop kick but Wyn dodges it. Wyn lifts Jaice up and then puts him in a tree of woe as McNasty crawls away from them Wyn then lifts Jaice up- BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE! The crowd is on their feet! Wyn covers!



3!!! NO! That no good son of a bitch Mark McNasty breaks up the count!

McNasty grabs hold of Wyn, using his strength and power to overtake her he hits the SAULT SLAM!





Maya Kalis: The winner of this match and STILL REBEL Pro Aggression Champion!!! MARK McNASTY!!!!

Maya hands Mark the belt and grabs his dick for good measure, winking before skipping off. Jaice slams his fist on the canvas as Wyn comes back from her dazed state. McNasty hoists the Aggression title high as we fade…


Second 2 None defeats Golden Inferno
Virgil Keenan defeats Scott Nash Strader
McNasty defeats Wyn Mangum and Jaice Wilds to retain the Aggression title.


REBEL Pro would like to officially congratulate RXW’s Allen Chaney for his incredible upset victory at last weeks PWA Sunday Night Rampage. For the mans hard work and determination, we salute you sir! Congratulations on your well earned and deserved victory!

Prove Your Worth! 2012

The Arrival

And You Said REBEL Pro Was Going Under? Fuck You!

We’re backstage at Prove Your Worth! in the dry heat of Phoenix, Arizona. Back in the parking lot, actually, where we see a stretch Lincoln Town Car limousine, black with gold trim, pull up. It seems Simon Kalis and Tamika Nash Strader have spared no expense to bring some high profile individuals into Rebel Pro land tonight. And wouldn’t you know? The fine Tamika Nash Strader is greeting these mystery people or person herself!

Tamika Nash Strader: This oughta be interesting.

The limo stops and the driver pops out, opening the back door as Jethro Hayes and Matthew Engel both step out! OMG!

Tamika Nash Strader: Gentlemen!

Engel and Hayes, both dressed in fine, tailored suits arrive on scene here at Prove Your Worth! It must have been a hell of a night and day for these two, as Jethro was just winning the World Championship in PWA last night. Hayes has both his World and Tag Titles over his shoulders, and Engel has his Tag Title over his left shoulder. They have some bags as well, but Tamika snaps and some RPW staff assists Second 2 None with their luggage and precious titles.

Tamika Nash Strader: Don’t worry, they’ll be in your locker room waiting for you. Your locker room also has anything and everything you need, and if there’s something we missed, please don’t hesitate to let us know.

Engel and Hayes look at each other, and then shrug, handing off their belts and allowing RPW staff to take their luggage.

Tamika Nash Strader: Now if you don’t mind, you two, I’d love for you to join us in Simon’s office where we can get down to business. He’ll be with us in a few minutes, he has… In-ring business to attend to at the moment, but there will be refreshments and entertainment while we wait.

Jethro Hayes: Absolutely, Tamika. And mighty thanks for everything you’ve done for us.

Tamika Nash Strader: It’s our pleasure, Jethro, Matt… and welcome back to Rebel Pro.

Engel and Jethro both nod and begin walking inside with Tamika as we cut back to ringside.

Prove Your Worth! 2012

“Invasion” by Christian Poulet & Jean-Yves Rigo hits and an arch of golden pyros covers the entrance ramp.

Jenny Jersey: INTRODUCING! He is the PRESIDENT of REBEL Pro!

An arch of pyros as Simon Kalis steps forward, pitching a finished cigarette before himself. The crowd is on their feet.

Jenny Jersey: Simon KALIS!!!

Fireworks pop off all along the entrance ramp as Simon Kalis steps forward, and everyone in the arena does a double take. Simon isn’t alone, as at one side of him stands Matt Stone. The other side stands REBEL Pro World Champion Reece Paxton.

Linzi Martin: Wait a second… He’s not wearing a suit. He usually did.

Simon removes his trench coat and chucks it into the crowd, before sliding into the ring.

Jester Jay: No… He’s in his wrestling gear.

Simon Kalis: I’m sure you can all hear me.

Everyone looks at the REBELTron, but then back at Simon.

Simon Kalis: This is another, specially edited audio recording. I don’t quite like others talking for me, and since The Masters deemed it necessary to slash my face and throat this is what we’re left with. Now, please. Allow me a moment. There’s a lot that’s going on tonight, and I figured what better way to start it than with two great guys like Matt and Reece.

In the ring Simon looks to Matt, then to Reece, then to crowd and cracks a smile. He reaches into his pants and pulls out what looks like a 9mm handgun, the crowd gasping.

Linzi Martin: Oh dear God.

Jester Jay: Aw shit I forgot he was black for a second!

Simon walks around the ring, pacing back and forth.

Simon Kalis: Right. This may look like Matt Stone is about to cash in the Number One Contender’s trophy, and claim his shot at Reece Paxton. By rights, he can. But there’s one thing.

Simon quickly aims and fires at Reece Paxton! There’s a moment of shock, but ONLY a split second- instead of bullets some sort of liquid fires from it directly into Reece Paxton’s eyes. Reece grabs his face and falls to his knees as Simon rushes up to him and gun bashes him across the face. Stone cracks a grin, amused by all this.

Simon Kalis: In June of 2011, I won a match in REBEL Pro. That match stipulated I was entitled to a shot at the REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship. But then I immediately purchased the company afterwards to save it from bankruptcy, and decided not to continue to compete in REBEL Pro.

Kalis looks around and smiles.

Simon Kalis: I’m cashing MY shot in!

Simon stomps down on Reece Paxton and chucks the fake gun aside and lifts Reece up. He whips Reece Paxton into Matt Stone, C-C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!!!!

Distorted Voice: Assuming direct control.

REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship Match

Simon Kalis versus Reece Paxton©


Stone nods and leaves the ring as Simon walks around the ring, raising his arms triumphantly in the air.

Larry Gordon: So this is his return to REBEL Pro? Like this? The son of a bitch.

Simon leans over the ropes and starts eyeing Larry Gordon. He returns to Reece and Simon continues to lay it in on Reece Paxton who’s still dazed from being seemingly pepper sprayed and hit with the Combobreaker. Simon lifts Reece up off the canvas and hits an implant DDT for good measure. He covers.




Linzi Martin: Screw you Larry. You did this.

Simon gets to his feet, a little pissed, and lifts Paxton up and goes to put him into an abdominal stretch but Reece slips away. Reece wipes his eyes and charges Simon Kalis, he clotheslines Simon Kalis into the turnbuckle and then hits a bull dog as a follow up. Simon stumbles around and Reece locks up with him, NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! Reece is now on the offensive against the former General, Reece heads up to the top rope. He comes flying off with a top rope elbow drop, landing his elbow HARD into Simon Kalis’ recently healed throat. He covers.




Larry Gordon: How can he do this to his own stablemate? Simon lost some brain cells at Barbed Wire Massacre, and now Reece is going to finish him off.

Matt Stone smacks the canvas, yelling at Simon to get up.

Linzi Martin: I doubt that.

Reece lifts Simon up off the canvas and cracks him across the face by bringing his face down while bringing his own knee up. Simon Kalis drops to his knees and low blows Reece Paxton. Paxton stumbles past Simon as Simon rubs his throat, gasping for air. Simon crawls away and slowly gets to his feet. He rushes to Reece but Reece side steps Simon getting behind Kalis and then reverse DDTing him to the canvas. Simon rolls out of the ring and scoffs, looking around angrily at the now booing crowd. It’s at this point we see Adrian Kalis jump the barricade separating the fans from the action. Reece backs up in the ring but Adrian immediately attacks SIMON! Stone’s eyes widen as Adrian begins stomping down on Simon Kalis. Adrian jumps back and begins stomping his foot, looking at Reece and nodding. Adrian seems to be staring down Matt Stone. Simon Kalis is a mess as Adrian then picks Simon up and throws him into the ring.

Larry Gordon: HAHA! Are we witnessing the implosion of The Order of Chaos!? Title hungry they are, and now they’re ripping each other apart!

Adrian slides in after Simon. He high fives Reece, but Stone slides in to check on Simon. Stone has some words for Adrian, as the two Generals begin exchanging a heated argument. Reece finally unstraps the REBEL Pro World Championship as Matt helps Simon to his feet. Reece lunges forward and cracks the belt over Matt Stone’s face, Stone hits the canvas bleeding. The crowd is going nuts. Simon tries to attack Reece and but fails and Reece cracks him over the head too, busting Simon Kalis open! Stone and Simon down, Reece pulls Simon up and whips him into the ropes. Adrian looks at Stone and smirks. Reece hoists Kalis up on the turnbuckles, COYOTE CUTTER!!! Simon is utterly obliterated, and Reece Paxton covers.


Larry Gordon: The Order of Chaos just split in half, folks. Glorious day!


Linzi Martin: Poor Simon.


NO!!!! ADRIAN RIPS REECE PAXTON OFF OF SIMON KALIS! The crowd BOOS intensely! Reece and Adrian begin to slug it out, Reece lays in some good strong heavy shots into Adrian but Adrian kicks Reece in the gut and spins him around- MASADRIVER!!!

Larry Gordon: Oh hell.

Adrian goes to check on Simon, then to Stone. He helps Matt Stone up and both of them are quite amused with themselves, though Matt wipes the blood off his face and holds up the bloody hand to Adrian who just shrugs. Simon is up and leaning against the turnbuckles. Reece looks around, dazed and confused. Stone and Adrian begin stomping down on him and they lift him up. Simon just smirks as Adrian whips Paxton to the ropes. Adrian lifts Reece high in the air and sets him up for a powerful C-C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER from Matt Stone!!!! The crowd boos as Simon Kalis limps over and collapses on Reece. Adrian and Stone sit down on top of Simon and wave for the cameras.





Larry Gordon: What the hell just happened?!

Adrian hands Simon the REBEL Pro World title, as both Adrian and Matt lift him up.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match and NEEEEEEEEEEEEW REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Chamion… SIMON KALIS!!!!!!!

Kalis raises the title high in the air, as Matt Stone and Adrian help him out of the ring. The crowd boos, Reece is left knocked down hard.

Linzi Martin: Wait what’s that mean for tonights main event?! Shiiiiiiiiiiiit is about to hit the fan!

Larry Gordon: I’m gonna be sick.

Simon Kalis, Matt Stone and Adrian Kalis all stand at the entrance ramp. Stone raises the AoWF King O’Extreme and RXW World titles in the air. Simon raises his new REBEL Pro World title, as Adrian raises the AoWF TV title.

Larry Gordon: God help us.

Fireworks go off as The Order of Chaos emblem burns over the REBELTron.

Simon Kalis: Welcome to PROVE YOUR WORTH!

REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Number 1 Contenders Match

Jaice Wilds vs. Umbra vs. Wyn Mangum

Ding Ding

Umbra comes charging in with a big right hook, but Jaice throws a bluetooth earpiece right in his face, catching him off guard and finishes off this weird start with a spinning heel kick right to his face. Umbra falls back right into a German suplex from Wyn Mangum, who seems surprised to have known what to do. Wyn rolls up to her feet, but Jaice is right there kneeing her right in the damn face and sending her out of the ring. Umbra rolls up to his feet, but Jaice is there to pour a series of punches and kicks to Umbra that backs him up in a corner. Jaice is wearing him out with right after left, after right after left; not to mention alternating it with kicks as well. Jaice looks like a whirlwind as he is trying to wear Umbra down and get a win before Wyn can get back in the ring. On the outside of the ring, Wyn pulls herself up and has a chair in her hand as though it appeared by magic; she shrugs before rolling in silently as though she knows by instinct what to do. Jaice is still beating the shit out of Umbra in the corner when…


Linzi Martin: What a shot from Wyn Mangum there!

Larry Gordon: Jaice’s head slams forward headbutting Umbra with quite a bit of force.

Jaice, seemingly out of instinct to defend himself, turns around slowly. Wyn, looking at the chair as though shocked that it moved on its own accord, nails Jaice right in the face with it this time. Jaice slumps back and Wyn is going to town on Jaice with repeated chair shots, looking shocked at each time she swings the chair down to meet Jaice’s face.

Linzi Martin: She looks like she is not in control of herself.

Larry Gordon: Like she is shocked that she instinctively knows what to do.

Jaice crumples down to the canvas and the chair continues to nail a head, but this time its Umbra’s face instead and his forehead is busted open, blood pouring down his face in a crimson mask. Somehow Jaice manages to get a foot up, nailing Wyn right in the crotch, causing her to drop the chair and howl in pain fron the blow. Wyn falls back.

Larry Gordon: That’ll stop her.

Linzi Martin: It’d stop you too.

Jaice pulls himself up , shaking his head and causing the blood on the back of his skull to fall down his back. Wyn is holding herself and doing her best not to cry; she had no idea wrestling was going to be this violent. Jaice pulls her up, but Umbra rolls him up from behind, Wyn falls down still holding herself, and Jaice is pinned to the canvas.




Jaice counters with a reversal!


Wyn looks confused as what to do, besides she’s still holding herself in pain.


Wyn manages to throw herself on them and break the initial pin. Jaice shoves Wyn and keeps the pin, but Wyn, still in pain, is over Umbra as well. The referee makes the count anyways!




Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match and NEEEEW Rebel Pro Aggression Number One Contender… Jaice Wilds and Wyn Mangum!

Linzi Martin: What a quick, but yet violent match.

Larry Gordon: And what utter confusion. So there’s TWO number one contenders?! Simon Kalis’ math is terrible.

Culling Wolves & Coyotes

We fade into the office of Simon Kalis. He’s finished getting stitched up, and the crowd boos. He taps the REBEL Pro World Championship over his shoulder and smirks. Jeremy Gold is sitting across from him, and Simon pushes forward a piece of paper. Gold clears his throat.

Jeremy Gold: Uh.. REBEL Pro needs its Champions to be of merit. It needs its Champions to fulfill their contractual obligations. Reece Paxton failed to do this, and he suffered the consequences. But there is one other who has failed to live up to the obligations he made with this company.

Kalis nods, pushing Jeremy to continue.

Jeremy Gold: Thunderwolf was given ample time to find a new tag team partner following the Fall From Grace of Jeffery Drake. And while REBEL Pro was honoured to have two communal figureheads like Drake and Wolf representing our tag team division, sadly this division has grown stagnant only months following the hugely successful RP3T tournament. Therefore, it is my prerogative as President of REBEL Pro to strip Thunderwolf of all claim to the REBEL Pro World Tag Team Championships.

Kalis shakes his head, almost sorry. Almost. The crowd boos.

Jeremy Gold: Furthermore, it is then in the best interest of REBEL Pro that this matter be settled effective immediately. And so I arranged for two teams to come to Phoenix tonight, to compete for these Championships. Ladies and gentlemen, we proudly give you…

Stolen Hearts

Stolen Hearts Logo
Consider the Spotlight… Stolen

We come in with Matt Stone sitting in front of his laptop, he’s in a living room setting, sitting alone. He’s wearing his shut me up shirt that we can see.

Matt: “Well Rebel Pro fans, you’re in for a real treat this Monday at Prove Your Worth, for everything that’s advertised, there’s one match happening that you don’t even know about featuring your truly, Justin Case.”

Matt chuckles and shakes his head.

Matt: “No, I wouldn’t do that to you, I am of course Matt Stone and my partner this week will be…”

Stone hits a button on his laptop and the image of whom he is talking to appears. The image on the laptop comes to life and we see Matt’s girlfriend, former REBEL Aggression and Tag Champ Emily Corlen come into view. Her attention is on a small hand mirror, as she casually makes kissy faces into it, clearly amusing herself. It’s entirely likely she doesn’t even know the camera is rolling.

Matt: “Emily Corlen, who is so focused on this match she feels she has time to waste making out with herself. That’s kinda hot. Hey Em, over here!”

Emily turns her attention to the camera.

Emily: “Oh, uh… are we rolling?”

She blushes a little as she quickly tosses the hand mirror away.

Emily: “Right then. Hello, REBEL Pro Trailerparkverse! My name is Emily Corlen. You might remember me from such classics as ‘that time I sprayed Simon Kalis in his eye socket with pepper spray’, or ‘that time I ended Legion’s career’ or my personal favorite, ‘the night I kicked the entire RPW roster’s ass in a battle royal simply because I could’! Well, I have excellent news for you all… I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!”

She smiles innocently into the camera. We shift back to Matt now who has a confident smirk almost plastered on his face at this point.

Matt: “And the last time you guys saw me I was winning the Number One’s Contender’s Trophy and I know what you’re thinking, with a 4 person buried alive match for the Rebel Pro World title, this would be the perfect time to use my right as the NoC to challenge the winner immediately, but you see, what does that really prove? We already know I’m smarter than everyone in Rebel Pro, so for me to do that would be like beating a dead horse. I don’t need to do that, and in fact the World title is not why I’m recording this video. When I cash in my NoC, you will all know it.

Something you may not know is that as of Fall From Grace, you have been without tag team champions. Due to some contractual situation that I never cared enough to look into, the tag team titles have been vacated ever since. As my darling girlfriend pointed out earlier in the week, I am a whore for championships and when I heard that the tag titles were vacated, I immediately looked into getting a shot.”

Emily laughs, interrupting Matt’s train of thought.

Emily: “And of course, when my dear paramour says he looked into getting a shot, what he means to say is, his GIRLFRIEND, a former two-time REBEL Pro Tag Team Champion, used some of the considerable pull she has in order to secure our team a shot at becoming the new Tag Team Champions. You see, I still had a shot at the REBEL Tag belts banked from when Justin Case and I lost the titles during the RP3T Tournament. As our team broke up, we were allowed to select new partners. As you can see, I wasted no time in allying myself with the second hottest star in the entire AoWF.”

She smirks.

Emily: “Needless to say, our Championship victory is already assured.”

Cut to Stone.

Matt: “So we’ll be facing Hell and High Water, the team of Lucious Starr and Joshua Danielson. Last time I faced this team was right here in Rebel Pro where the former Order members Cowgirls From Hell defeated Hell and High Water while myself and Marvin Wood just sort of watched. Not something I’m proud of, but H and H lost us that match. Had it have been a regular tag match, we would have won and advanced to the finals of the RP3T tournament, but that’s old news, you all know that already. What some of you may have missed was that on my way to the King of Extreme Championship I defeated Lucious Starr. He gave me everything he had, but it just wasn’t good enough. Story of his life, I’d say.”

Stone smirks as we go back to Emily.

Emily: “Careful, sweetie. Bragging about beating Lucious Starr? People are going to start calling you Scott Nash Strader.”

She chuckles.

Emily: “In all seriousness, really, REBEL Pro Wrestling? That’s the BEST team you can come up with? Lucious Starr and Joshua Freaking Danielson? What’s the matter, are the Freak Show busy at some ICP rally this weekend? I mean, I’m not going to complain. I enjoy free Championships as much as the next person. But Matt and I were going to win this match no matter WHO you put us up against. The least you could have done was try to find a team that could have potentially posed SOME sort of threat at least on paper. I mean… Lucious could fight himself in a match and still find a way to lose twice. And Danielson hasn’t been relevant since… well, EVER. I’m just sayin’.”

Matt: “That’s not entirely true dear, Danielson was somewhat relevant in 2010 when he had the television title…but then someone beat him for it and he hasn’t done anything since. I’m struggling to remember who initially took that belt off him…do you remember, hun?”

Emily: “I don’t actually know off the top of my head, but I’d bet a large sum of money that it was you!”

Emily chuckles. We go back to Stone.

Matt: “You’d win that bet. Joshua was getting all confident and rather than trading in that TV title for a shot at the World Champion, he wanted to keep defending it and I gave him a quick lesson in strategy when I put him I beat him and took that title for the second time in my career. That`s really all I have about Danielson…do you have anything else?”

Emily shakes her head.

Emily: “I wish I did, but Danielson has a habit of not sticking around long enough to ever do anything worth noting. He signed a contract with BWF back when the company relaunched last year. I remember seeing him backstage once or twice. But, just like when he returns to PWA, he was there for maybe two, three shows before flaking out. I mean, how bad do you have to be to be the weak link of a team that also features Lucy Starr? I mean… fucking Christ, that’s just terrible.”

Matt laughs.

Matt: “Then I guess it’s on to the main course, or at least as much of a main course as Lucious Starr can be. He calls himself the AoWF’s most wanted, but really, no one wants him anywhere. Take RXW for example. First thing he does is say he wants to walk out because he can’t cut it, then he challenges me to a match. I mean, seriously kid? I had just beat you on Rampage but because this is RXW, you think you deserve a World title match? Wade Mason isn’t in charge in RXW, the booking isn’t THAT bad. Rather than stay and fight when Emily offered the winner of your match a shot at me, you just threw your hands in the air and gave up. Didn’t record a promo, didn’t write a blog, you did nothing, just like the rest of your career.”

Emily: “That’s the only reason Lucious even came to what was then TGW in the first place. He can’t cut it in PWA, not without Simon or somebody else to fight his battles for him, and he thought TGW would be some easy Championships for him to win that he could fall back on. That failed miserably when he was unable to beat me for the TGW World Championship, which of course then prompted him to publically attempt to devalue both myself and the Championship out of sheer spite. This is how Lucious operates, it’s his M.O. I made him tap out last year in a triple threat match in PWA. To this day, he claims that he “didn’t try that week” and that he simply let me win. In his mind, he thinks that makes his loss to me okay. But the way I see it? It paints him for what he really is – a no talent hack. Hey Lucy, you want to be taken seriously? You have to bust your ass ALL THE TIME, moron. Not just when you feel like it. As a result, there isn’t a damn person in this or any other company who takes you seriously, which is exactly as it should be, you no talent, sad sack piece of shit loser. Do the world a favor and KILL yourself.”

Emily glares into the webcam. She REALLY does not like Lucious Starr. Matt supresses laughter, being highly amused by all the Lucy hate.

Matt: “Now I know how Starr works, so I’m pretty sure he’s going to bring up things like how he was in the Order of Chaos before either one of us were, how he and Joshua have been teaming for years while you and I Em have never teamed, or even the ever so desperate excuse of ‘we’ve never faced him in a Rebel Pro ring’. None of these points hold any water whatsoever. I have single-handedly done more for the Order in the month of May than he ever did. While Emily and I have never teamed in the ring before, I can assure you gentlemen that her and I have way more chemistry than you could ever have. Her and I aren`t even in the same country right now and I can tell you what she`s thinking as easily as she can tell me what I`m thinking. Working together won`t be an issue for us. As for Rebel Pro? Both Emily and myself have had more success in Rebel Pro than either of you have and we’re just getting started. You two haven’t begun to see the best her and I are capable of, and fellows, that should scare you.”

Emily smirks.

Emily: “I can’t argue with that. Although I’m sure it’s highly likely that the two of them are having just as much sex with each other as we are, Matt.”

She winks into the webcam. Stone shudders.

Matt: “I did not need that image in my head at all. Gives new meaning to Starr’s “I claim your soul”. He must have picked that move up from the Catholic church”

Emily: “Do you think that Josh was Lucy’s Accountabili-buddy?”

She chuckles at her own joke.

Emily: “You know, back on topic… what can be said about Hell and High Water? They’ve had one major victory in their entire tenure as a team, against a still-injured Chamelion and a rusty Raizzor last year, and as soon as they were put against a team that was marginally better than the Dragons, Hell and High Water folded like a collapsible lung and did what both men have done best their entire careers; they rolled over and died. This Monday night, at Prove Your Worth, that’s all they’re gonna be good for again. On the plus side, boys, you get to be front row center for the emergence of 2012′s Tag Team of the Year in the AoWF… Matt Stone and Emily Corlen. Believe it.”

We cut back to Stone.

Matt: “So feel honored Rebelites, you will once again have Matt Stone and Emily Corlen in your company. We will represent you as Tag Team Champions, We will be making a statement to the entire AoWF that we are here to make an impact, to dominate everyone and that no two people can shut us up, especially a team consisting of two failures such as Lucious Starr and Joshua Danielson. See you Monday.”

One final smirk from Stone and the camera cuts out.

Hell & High Water

We fade back to Simons office, and he seems to be heavily entrenched in a game of Skyrim- playing the new Dawnguard DLC, available now for an exclusive time only on the Xbox 360! Gold, however, has the next statement ready.

Jeremy Gold: Hell & High Water were asked to film a promotional video to be aired with Stolen Hearts before their match. They failed in this obligation, and so we’ve decided that this would be more entertaining than watching Lucious Starr and Joshua Danielson talk anyways. Enjoy!

Dog Playing Golf

REBEL Pro World Tag Team Championship Match

Stolen Hearts versus Hell & High Water

With both teams making it to the ring, Matt Stone and Joshua Danielson start the match out. They lock up, Stone getting the upper hand with a hammer lock, Danielson countering with a drop toe told, floating over with a side headlock. Matt started to get to his feet, pushing Danielson off at the ropes, rebounding back as Stone catches him with a high heel kick. Danielson goes down and Stone gets to his feet first, a smirk on his face. Joshua starts getting up as well, Matt grabs a hold of his waist and lifts him up in the air, driving him down with a German Suplex. Matt gets to his feet, Danielson in a seated position, Matt runs and jumps over his head, connecting with a neck snap. Danielson’s head snaps forward, then he lays flat on his back. Stone grabs his legs and starts looking for the Wrath of Khan, but Joshua is able to push him back with a kick. Stone heads over and tags in Emily, Danielson crawls over and tags in Starr.

Emily comes in the ring as does Starr, who seems quite keen on showing everyone he’s a true star. He charges at Emily and catches her by surprise, knocking her down with a clothesline. Starr stays on the attack, sending kicks at Emily. Stone seems bored at ringside and gets off the apron, going over and sitting with the commentary team, leaving Emily alone to continue fighting off Starr. Fortunately for her, she is able to catch Starr with a thumb in the eye, forcing him back. Emily then gets to her feet and grabs Starr by the throat, picking him up with both hands and slamming him down to the mat, successfully hitting him with her Seventh Heaven. Emily goes for the cover, but only gets a two count.

Corlen stays on the attack, picking Starr up by the hair and backing him into her now empty corner. She glares at Stone, who isn’t paying attention before she drives her shoulder into Starr’s midsection three times. Emily then sits Starr up on the turnbuckle and climbs up with him. She hooks his head and tries to flip him with a superplex, but Starr holds on. Emily tries again, however Lucious once again has the counter. Starr then pushes Emily off the ropes, causing her to land on her back and he quickly follows her, flipping in the air and landing on top of her with a Senton bomb. Rather than go for a cover though, he rolls across and tags in Joshua.

Joshua got in the ring and quickly ran over, hitting a snap leg drop on Emily. Danielson then immediately went for a cover and got a two count before Emily, rather forcibly, kicked out. Corlen fought to her feet as Danielson went for a few hard right hands. Joshua then hit the ropes and came back with a dropkick to Emily’s head. Corlen started getting up, dazed. Danielson spring boarded off the middle rope and hit Emily with a cross body, hooking both her legs for the pin, Emily was forced down, but managed to kick out after the two count. Stone got up from the commentary booth with a chair in hand just as Josh tried to whip Emily into the ropes, but Corlen reversed the whip and as Joshua hit the ropes, he was caught in the back by a hard steel chair shot from Stone! Joshua stumbled forward and Emily picked him up, spinning him around and driving him into the mat with the Spiral Twister.

Emily got to her feet, staggering back a bit, weakened from the two on one she had been facing and Stone tagged himself in by smacking her back. Emily glared back, but with the referee telling her to get out, she reluctantly did. Stone gets in and sees Lucious starting to get in as well, Stone dashes over and hits him with the C-c-c-c-combo Breaker! Starr collapsed outside the ring as Joshua started to get up. Matt dashed at him and kicked him square n the temple! After Stone Bequeathed a Boot to the Head, he went for the cover on Danielson and got the 1 2 3! The bell sounded and the referee got in and handed the Tag titles to each Matt and Emily, who had gotten back in the ring, Stone smirked and offered his hand to his partner, who returned his smile and shook his hand, pulling him in for a hug…or, more accurately, a Spiral Twister! Stone was laid out in the ring, Emily draping his body with one of the Rebel Pro Tag belts and shook her head, walking out of the ring, holding up her tag title as she went. The referee checked on Stone, who was still flat on his back.

Winners: Stolen Hearts at 13:42

Encore! Encore! Encore!

Corlen is stopped dead in her tracks, and the crowd in Phoenix explodes!

Larry Gordon: Well. Well. Well.

Second 2 None steps out, and Matthew Engel and Jethro Hayes receive a standing ovation. Stone is still out of it in the ring, and Corlen watches them both carefully for any sudden movements. Jethro stands behind Engel, and raises his PWA World Heavyweight Championship up in one hand and his half of the PWA World Tag Team Championships in the other.

Linzi Martin: Second 2 None has officially arrived to REBEL Pro.

Matthew Engel stands, his half of the PWA World Tag Team Championships around his waist. He begins a golf clap, Jethro Hayes drapes his titles over his broad shoulders and begins a golf clap of his own. Corlen nods, she says something but we can’t hear her. Engel then holds up a stack of papers which are stapled together. The camera zooms in to reveal these papers to be a REBEL Pro contract.

Jester Jay: Shit just got real.

Second 2 None golf clap for a few moments longer, and with a smirk, Jethro Hayes and Matthew Engel exit. This simple action, speaking louder than any words could have.

AoWF Television Championship Match

Xan Vaxman versus Adrian Kalis©


Jenny Jersey: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be for the Alliance of Wrestling Federations Television Championship! Introducing first, representing REBEL Pro!

A Mash-Up of The Beatles’ “Eleanor Rigby” and Green Day’s “Brain Stew” hits and the crowd begins to cheer as Xan Vaxman appears at the entrance ramp.

Jenny Jersey: Standing in at 6 feet tall, and weighing in tonight at 222 pounds…

Vaxman begins walking down the ramp to the adulation of the crowd, a number of “NSFW” signs can be seen in the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: He hails from Mexico City, Mexico by way of Ottawa, Ontario Canada…

Vaxman enters the ring and raises his arms, the crowd snapping as many pictures as they can.

Jenny Jersey: He is… XAN VAXMAN!!!!!!

Vaxman looks smug, and accepts the warmth and love of the fans graciously.

Jenny Jersey: And, his opponent! Representing the Pioneer Wrestling Association!

“Time To Kill” by Gold and Youth hits, the arena lights dim and red and white strobelights pan the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: He is the reigning AoWF Television Champion!

The crowd boos, the crowd cheers- a bit of a mixed reaction. Adrian steps out, and there are two red lights that flank his left and right sides. The white spotlight shines directly with him in the center.

Jenny Jersey: The GENERAL of The Order of Chaos!

Adrian looks up, the black velvet scarf hangs over his left shoulder. The silver head ornamental head piece keeps the black mask all in place, covering the entirety of his face except his eyes. He wears a tight sleeveless black top, to go with tight black spandex and black boots that accentuates his further toned and muscular figure. Five skulls adorn his right shoulder, five stars adorn the left- and the Order of Chaos emblem is visible over his heart. He points up at the REBELTron, which is flanked by either side by massive Order of Chaos flags.

Jenny Jersey: Standing in at 6’1, weighing in at 225 pounds…

Adrian begins making his way to the ring, sombre, each step seemingly methodically plotted as he stares a hole through Vaxman.

Jenny Jersey: Hailing from Montreal, Quebec Canada!

Adrian circles the ring but then climbs up onto the apron, and holds up the AoWF Television Championship.

Jenny Jersey: He is… ADRIAN KALIS!!!!

Adrian gets into the ring and hands off the belt to the referee for the match. The championship is raised by the ref in the middle of the ring, as each of the men take their positions at opposite corners.

Linzi Martin: There’s an intensity in his eyes.

Jester Jay: Yeah, but look at Vaxman- he realizes what’s at stake.


Adrian immediately rushes forward, Vaxman comes forward as well but not as fast. Adrian quickly goes full stop before reaching Vaxman and unleashes a wicked trust kick, his shins connecting on Vaxmans right thigh. Adrian follows it up with another thrust kick, angling it into Vaxmans left thigh now to weaken them. Adrian quickly rushes forward now, literally climbing up onto Vaxman and bringing both of is knees up into Vaxmans face, sending both men crashing to the canvas. Adrian quickly gets back to his feet, but so does Vaxman. Adrian enters a Muay Thai kickboxing fighting stance and his eyes beg Vaxman to come for him. Vaxman encroaches, attempting a grapple but Adrian dances away and sways back and forth, seemingly taunting Vaxman.

Linzi Martin: He doesn’t want to tangle with Vaxman as a wrestler does he? If Adrian can keep this to striking, he will overcome Xan.

Jester Jay: Yeah but if he has to go armbar for waistlock with Vaxman, this could be a different story.

Adrian lashes out with more thrust kicks, but Vaxman skillfully dekes away from each strike. Adrian with another, but again Vaxman is timing his movement well to avoid further damage. Adrian senses it’s a futile effort, and so bounces himself off the ropes and goes for a clothesline but instead gets caught into an armtrap neckbreaker! Vaxman is quick to capitalize now, with Adrian down Vaxman locks on a sleeper hold to the young General. Adrian kicks his right leg up and down over the canvas and tries blindly reaching behind himself to grab hold of Vaxmans hair. Instead he begins raking Vaxman in the eyes, but Vaxman turns his face away and shuts his eyes whilst clenching the sleeper hold tighter onto Adrian. Adrian grabs Vaxmans arm that’s around his neck with both his hands and begins trying to rip himself free.

Linzi Martin: And who says REBEL Pro can’t put on a good wrestling match?

Jester Jay: Everyone. I believe everyone says so, Linzi.

Adrian’s eyes begin fluttering. But then he pushes back with all his weight, putting Vaxman beneath him. Vaxman attempts to wrap his legs around Kalis’ waist to completely lock him in but Adrian swats them away, instead arching his back and pinning Vaxmans shoulders to the canvas.



Vaxman is forced to break the hold and roll away, giving Adrian ample time to roll out of the ring and catch his breath. Adrian circles as Vaxman gets to his feet. Adrian hops up onto the ring apron and Vaxman rushes towards him. The men lock horns and begin a power struggle, Vaxman tries to suplex Adrian back into the ring but Adrian flips over instead getting to his feet. Adrian blindly spins and lays a huge angle kick into the side of Vaxmans head, sending Vaxman to the canvas. Adrian hits an asai moonsault, but Vaxman lifts his knees to his chest and Adrian pays the price for trying. Vaxman is up, and he now lifts Adrian up by the head. He tries to rip Adrian’s mask off! The crowd goes nuts, but Adrian fights back and headbutts Vaxman. Vaxman stumbles back into the ropes, and Adrian taps the sharp pointed end to the silver head piece and headbutts Vaxman a second time. Vaxman stumbles forward and Adrian grabs him by the neck and headbutts him again, this time- Vaxman begins to bleed.

Linzi Martin: God damn. That was insulting.

Jester Jay: Why?

Vaxman goes back to the ropes, seemingly groggy from the headbutts. Adrian lifts his arms into the air, and yells out at the crowd.

Linzi Martin: Clearly, you’re a moron. But Vaxman is a luchadore, he understands that culture of wrestling having been in it. You take the mask off an opponent, that’s huge.

Jester Jay: Why? We know what Adrian looks like.

Vaxman hits a springboard back elbow right at Adrian, knocking both men down to the canvas!

Linzi Martin: You’re an idiot.

Jester Jay: Whatever. I don’t see the big deal, weirdos. Now both Adrian and The Phoenix look like they belong in a video game together.

Vaxman heads to the top rope as Adrian regains his composure, but Adrian doesn’t even get the chance to get to his feet as Vaxman jumps off and hits a flying kneedrop right into Adrian’s chest. Adrian reels, clutching his chest as Vaxman then lifts his legs up, wraps them up and drops right into a figure four leg lock. Adrian winces in pain, punching at Vaxman as he tries to escape but it’s to no avail. Vaxman has it locked in tight. Vaxman continues to wrench the hold in tight. Adrian looks ready to tap.

Linzi Martin: SHIT! Is he gonna tap out?!

Jester Jay: Oh no, a Kalis losing a title. We’ll be set for another god damn war in no time.

Adrian seems ready to tap but he instead uses the last bit of strength he has left to reverse the figure four leg lock by rolling onto his stomach. Vaxman strains and is completely caught off guard, as Adrian keeps the hold in as best he can. But Adrian gets out of the quagmire. Adrian’s up, Vaxman is on his knees. Vaxman with a DICK PUNCH on Adrian. Adrian squeels, falls to the canvas and gets covered.




Adrian kicks out and rolls away. Vaxman is up and grapples Adrian and rolls him up into a pin again!!!









But before we can get even to a count of 1 both men break out of the back and forth roll up.

Linzi Martin: Way too close of a call there.

Jester Jay: Vaxman won! PHOENIX SCREWJOB!

Adrian pulls himself up, as does Vaxman. Adrian with a thrust kick, Vaxman dodges it but is unprepared for Adrian to already be unleashing a second one with his other leg, spinning in the air and cracking Vaxman over the head. Vaxman stumbles around and Adrian hits his trademark spinning kamikaze, Order & Chaos! Adrian covers!



THR-NO!!! VAXMAN FUCKING KICKS OUT! Adrian gets up frustrated. He argues with the referee, and this gives Vaxman the time he needs to recover. Vaxman grabs hold of Adrian, LOBOTOMY DROP!!! The crowd goes NUTS!!! Vaxman falls, but he holds his face for a moment as the effects of the spinning kamikaze are being felt. Finally he covers.




Linzi Martin: !!!

The referee holds up two, saying the third count didn’t register. Vaxman can’t believe it.

Jester Jay: Wait, wait. No. This is over.

Adrian rolls onto his stomach, breathing heavily.

INSTANT REPLY BROUGHT TO YOU BY COCA COLA: The referee’s hand is shown going down for the 1. Then the 2. The cameras in the arena flash but just as he hits the three, Adrian’s shoulder is up.

Linzi Martin: Those few seconds Vaxman wasted not pinning Adrian might’ve just cost him.

Adrian low blows Vaxman from behind and quickly gets to his feet. MASADRIVER! MASADRIVER ON VAXMAN! Adrian is groggy from the lobotomy drop and pukes in the ring as he falls onto Vaxman!







Maya Kalis: The winner of this match, my apparently drunk or concussed brother… ADRIAN KALIS!!!

Maya cheers as Adrian gets to his feet and wipes his mouth, rubbing his head. Vaxman sighs, but perhaps he’s also thankful Adrian didn’t puke on him. Adrian is handed the AoWF TV title but wobbles around in the ring before collapsing to his knees. Vaxman sits up and looks around. The referee checks on Adrian, but he then makes an “X” with his arms. The crowd stands up to watch, Maya now runs into the ring to check on her brother. Vaxman’s eyes widen but he plays it off, rolling out of the ring. Adrian gets to his feet though and the crowd cheers that he’s okay. He nods his head as EMT’s check him out, insisting he’s fine.

Jester Jay: What a drunk.

Linzi Martin: Or Vaxman just gave him a concussion?

Jester Jay: Drunk.

Adrian waves and shows he’s alright, if a little woozy from the drop.

Phoenix Just Got Nasty

“Whatever You Became” by Cold begins to play as the fans rise to their feet. Mark McNasty walks out from the back, Aggression title around his waist. McNasty has a huge smile on his face as he strolls to the edge of the stage, and pulls off the blue tinted sun glasses he has on. He takes a second to listen to the fans cheer, before the music tunes out and he speaks.


Andddd we’re back to fans cheering.

McNasty: As you have all heard by now, I will not be defending my Rebel Pro Aggression title tonight.

Some audible boos of disappointment.

McNasty: I know, I know. I hate to deprive you; believe me. But, I have a little bit of a consolation prize for you.

McNasty smirks as he paces back and forth two times.

McNasty: See, I have here in my possession, something quite interesting. I have something no other AOWF superstar has.

McNasty slightly pushes the Aggression title forward, and pulls a piece of paper out. He whips it open and slaps it once.

McNasty: I have an open shot at the King of Extreme title.

Slight pop from the fans.

McNasty: Now, thanks to the open nature of this title shot, I could take it anywhere I want. Hell, if Robinson was still running PWA, I’d probably be tempted to pop my head back in. However…after a lot of thought…Rebel Pro has been good to me, and in TWO WEEKS, on the July 23rd Aggression, I will represent REBEL PRO as I fight Matt Stone for the AOWF KING OF EXTREME TITLE!

The entire arena is going nuts.

McNasty: So Stone, mark your calendars. In two things, things get NASTY!

“Whatever You Became” begins to play again. The fans continue their cheers as McNasty faux salutes with two fingers, and walks to the back.

I Got That Bitch Confetti

Bitches Love Confetti

Everywhere we go, bitches always know that it’s not truly a Rebel Pro pay-per-view without puppets. This is no exception. This time, our setting is the offices of…we think it’s Tamika’s. But honestly, the management in this place has jumped off of so many people like a goddamn flea hops off of dogs. But that doesn’t matter because I’m holding the camera and dumbass Anna is sitting in the chair. Her feet’s all perched on the top of the desk. She doesn’t say anything. She just opens up a filing cabinet, snags a file, and shreds each paper with the paper shredder. Then that stupid bitch PuppetLiza wanders in.

PuppetLisa: Anna, whatcha doing?

Dodo Queen, Adorable Retard, Scapegoat, Flawed Charm, whatever smiles. It’s not her trademark cutesy smile or the replica cocky grin. It’s lazy, just like her.

Anna Mathews: Shreddin’ paperz.

If the magicunt’s expecting anything different, she’s wrong. Ask her why, jackass!

PuppetLiza: Why, jackass?

Ha! I knew I’d get you eventually.

PuppetLiza: *sob!* So mean!

Anna Mathews: Eye dooin et ‘cuz wii need confetti four after I win.

She says it so nonchalantly. Oh-em-gee. I wonder why. She’s facing a redneck from Rape-My-Own-Mother, Georgia, some lucky piss-poor hippie than can’t even tie his own bootlaces, and Virgil Keenan. This is a cakewalk. A pushover. Why not just give her the belt now?

PuppetLiza: Because everybody deserves a chance…

Bullshit. I’ve been “dead” for a while. I’ve been a god. I have seen what’s been going on. All the actual full blown talent everywhere in the AoWF is either retired or semi-retied or have to heal up from some stupid frisbee injury. The only person that deserves a chance are the ones who are willing to kill for it. And since the usual sharks in the water have left, an opportunist will have to rise to the occasion. Let me turn the camera around and give you all a look at my beady little eyes. That way, you know I’m sincere when I say…

PuppetLisa:…that the vast majority of you are worthless. Thus you have nothing to prove and nothing to lose. Go die in a fire already.

The camera drops. PuppetLisa walks away with PuppetLiza in shock. And Anna? She just keeps shredding important junk.

Everyone Sucks But Me FINALS

Xan Vaxman versus Virgil Keenan


Both men move to the center of the ring. Keenan smirks and took a step back before raising his hand for a test of strength. Xan accepts it and locks up in a knuckle lock with the Luchadore Mask Boy. Virgil is the one to initiate the test by pushing El Gringo toward the barbed wire. Xan manages to stop the voyage with about only a foot away from the barbed wire to spare. Xan decided to push back, Virgil able to stop it just before touching the wire. Finally, Keenan begins to push back full force. Xan stops the advance by placing his right foot on the bottom wire. Xan throws off the hold. The two men stare down.

Linzi Martin: I’m so glad Tamika made this a barbwire match!

Jester Jay: Blood equals ratings, by.

Linzi Martin: I’m not a boy. Stop talking newfie.

Both men lock up in a collar and elbow tie up, but Xan breaks out of it and slips behind Virgil, taking him to the mat with a drop toe hold. Xan quickly goes to weaken his opponent by applying a grounded front face lock. Virgil shoots up to a kneeling position but collapses to the mat as Xan applies more pressure to the hold. Virgil goes for a different approach by grabbing the arm of Vaxman and twisting his way out with an arm wringer. Both men roll to their feet, Xan tries to draw first blood by charging forth and attempting to whip Keenan into the wire. But Virgil counters with a short arm lariat! Xan falls to the mat from the impact of Virgil’s forearm . Virgil quickly goes for the cover.



Linzi Martin: Virgil better remember he has another match tonight, same as Xan!

Jester Jay: Hopefully Anna buries him tonight. Or Bubba. Or Reece. Whoever! Just somebody bury that by.

Obviously, it would take a whole lot more than that to keep good Xan down. Out of frustration, Keenan drops an elbow across the throat of Vaxman. Pulling Xan by the hair, Keenan pulls him to a sitting position and slips behind. Keenan grabs a hold of Vaxman’s arm and with his free arm begins to rain down elbows across where the left shoulder and neck meet. The elbows rained in rapid secession, Virgil was aiming for that neck.

Linzi Martin: Relentless assault from Virgil Keenan.

Virgil finally ceases the assault, letting Vaxman drop to the mat. Keenan initially wanted to go for the pin, but decides against it by pulling his opponent back to his feet. In a raged bull rush, Xan pushed Keenan right into the northern row of barbed wire, the follow through of the push caused the bottom wire to snap and cling to the left leg of Keenan’ tights. Keenan reverses the situation, causing the wire to wrap around the both of them. This back and forth pushing continues until they make it the ring post and manage to become untangled. The bottom wire completely comes off from the ring post and lies in the ring. Seeing this, Xan performs a drop toe hold on Keenan into the wire. But Keenan managed to stop his fall by grabbing it with his bare hands. Tough prick eh? While Virgil was avoiding a barbed wire issue, Xan decides to make a whole new one by grabbing the piece of loose wire and doubling it over. Once Virgil turns around, Xan wields the weapon like a whip and brings it down upon Virgil’s chest.

Linzi Martin: Vaxman wants to win badly. Not sure I wanna face the winner of tonights main event however.

Jester Jay: Everyone loves a little necrophilia, by.

Virgil staggers back, getting away from Xan and his weapon. Keenan goes face to face once more with Xan and momentarily distracts him with a rake to the eyes. Virgil slips behind him and lifts him up. Virgil takes a few steps forward and gets Vaxman hung on the barbed wire. Vaxman gasps, seeing as his family jewels were laying right across the barbed wire. Virgil finds the loose bit of barbed wire on the mat and begins to wrap it around his heavily taped wrist and hand. Apparently, he had an idea to really open up his opponent. Virgil goes to the ring post nearest Xan and climbs the barbed wire. He leaps off and extends his arm with the barbed wire gauntlet, he drives the arm into the chest of the hurting Vaxman with flying clothesline from hell.

Linzi Martin: Rebel Pro fans are getting their money worth tonight!”

Jester Jay: Glad they let me out here for this one, by.

He slumps onto the mat and lays there for a few moments and Virgil quickly tries to capitalize with a pin.




Virgil grabs a handful of Xan’s hair and picks him up to his feet. He backhands Xan hard with the barbed-wire gauntlet! Xan falls but quickly rolls under the bottom rope and out of the ring, Xan tries to catch his breath but Virgil comes over top with a frgsplash!!!

Linzi Martin: Vaxman must not like that.

Jester Jay: He’ll beat that puppet genocider , by.

Linzi Martin: Genocider? That’s not even a word!

The men men lay outside in a huge pile for a few moments before Virgil starts to get to his feet. He grabs Xan by the back of the head as he stands and tries to throw him face first into the ropes but NO! Xan puts his hands on the apron and stops himself before his face connects with the barbed-wire ring ropes. Xan quickly turns around and successfully hits Virgil in the face with an open-palm to the face, then grabs Virgil by the back of the head and throws him face first into the barbed-wire ring ropes! Virgil gets a bit tangled up in the barbed-wire and Xan quickly starts taking advantage and picks up a barbed-wire covered chair, then brings it smashing into the back of Virgil! Xan decides to let Virgil struggle in the barbed-wire for a bit while he slides back into the ring… he starts carefully taking the barbed wire off of the chair and wrapping it around his thigh and knee.

Linzi Martin: This is why I love Rebel Pro ya know?

Jester Jay: That’s right, by. Rebel Pro is the greatest. A cornucopia of awesomeness, by.

Virgil finally manages to tear himself free of the barbed. He rolls back into the ring and Xan is waiting for him, the right kneepad covered in barbed wire. Xan quickly locks Virgil in a collar and elbow tie up, but Keenan is able to overpower him and drives him back into the ropes and the audience gives a loud groan, but El Gringo Vaxman comes right back at him, he starts driving his barbed wire covered knee into Virgils chest! Virgil releases the hold and falls to a knee and Xan quickly runs across the ring, then runs back and nails Virgil in the mask with a roundhouse kick

Linzi Martin: Too bad we can’t see if he’s bleeding.

Jester Jay: Pussies wear masks, by.

Xan smirks as he kneels down and pulls Keenan up to a seated position. Xan grabs Virgil’s mask in an iron claw type fashion. Virgil lets out a cry of pain. Virgil lets out a plain and simple left hand to the gut. He continues to do so until Xan lets go.

Linzi Martin: Virgil fighting his way back into the match perhaps?

Jester Jay: I hope the rest of the show is this violent, by.

With the wind knocked out of him, Xan staggers back. Keenan pulls himself back to his feet, and decides to get a small measure of revenge. With his left hand, Keenan grabs Xan by the hair his right forearm comes up and grind into Xan’s fore head. The barbed wire wrapped around the forearm of Keenan digs deeply into Xan’s forehead, bloodying him even further. Keenan whips Xan hard into the barbed wire. Xan went into it back first, the back of his shirt caught, causing Xan to have some slightly restricted movement. Xan is stuck, Keenan smirks and charges forward, he lowers his shoulder and hits a Missile Drop Kick through the ropes.

Linzi Martin: Oh fuck, that’s gotta hurt

Jester Jay: Fucking cereal, by.

The barbed wire snapped from the force of the move, causing both men to spill outside the ring. Virgil hesitates too long and takes a sick spill on the head. Xan Lands on his back and upon the barbed wire. Both men lay motionless for a few seconds, the referee goes outside the ring to check on them. Both men eventually begin to stir, trying to roll back to their feet. Virgil is the first to his feet, he takes Xan, who was on one knee, and throws him hard into the announce table.

Linzi Martin: Better get ready to move Jay!

Jester Jay: Damjit I just got this seat warm, by.

Virgil goes to ring side, and ducks down under the apron for weapons. Virgil feels something prick his fingers and smirks. He takes hold of the object and pulls it out to reveal, a barbed wire covered kendo stick. He looks under the ring once more and pulls out a ladder. Once he got the table out, he set it up next to the ring, he then grabs the board and places it on the table but before he could go through with it, the back of his head gets knocked silly with the steel chair from earlier. Keenan collapses to the floor, holding the back of his head.

Linzi Martin: I think Vaxman is going in for the kill.

Jester Jay: I should like Virgil cause he kiss’d the cod like me by, but fuck me I hate him.

Before Virgil could even recover, Vaxman smacks Keenan in the back with the chair. Keenan falls to the floor once more. Xan looks at Virgil, smiles, motions for a belt around his waist and locks in the Goodnight Sweet Prince with body scissors. The referee raises Virgil’s arm.




Maya Kalis: And your winner due to a passed out bitch and winner of the Everyone Sucks But Me tournament… XAN TONTO! No. Wait… VAXMAN!!!!!

Apostles Get Martyred

Inside the office of the Rebel Pro president all the members of the Order of Chaos stand assembled inside. Simon Kalis sat behind the desk with SNS and Adrian Kalis flanking either side. Each member looking amongst each other. Wondering why they were called. Simon looks upset, but Adrian simply smirks and clears his throat.

Adrian Kalis: Jacob Figgins step forward.

Jacob stepped in front of the members gathered while Adrian produced a gym bag which he threw in front of Figgys feet, a hoddie and lead pipe are clearly seen inside. Figgy only smirked at the sight. The Order all realize what this is.

Jacob Figgins: Took you fuckers long enough.

Adrian picked up the pipe twirling it about in his hand. Adrian twirls the pipe one final time before crushing it into Figgys ribs. Before Figgins could even attempt to retaliate Wilds and Bubba J swoop down upon him to hold him down.

Simon rises and nods to the assembled members each producing a kendo stick. All save fore the ones holding Figgy down line up to get their strikes in. Bubba thrusts Figgins to the floor as it became an all out flurry of kendo sticks.

Finally he his hoisted back up to meet twin kicks to each side of the head from both Kalises. Finally Simon produces the barbed wire baseball bat to go in for the final blow. But Adrian raises a hand to stop them.

Adrian Kalis: This is my Order now, and you’re holding my weapon. I say when it’s over.

Simon sneers to his son before reaching into his desk and scribbling onto a piece of paper. He thrusts the piece of paper into Adrians hands, Adrian frowns a moment before reading, as Simon gives him a “well REBEL Pro is my company” look right back.

Adrian Kalis: By power of the President of Rebel Pro Wrestling, Jacob Figgins is hereby suspended indefinitely. Now get him the fuck out of MY arena”

Bubba and Jaice throw Jacob Figgins to the ground, as security comes in. They hoist Figgins and begin dragging him off.

Jacob Figgins: I fucked your daughter!

The guards just keep dragging him out, Simon merely shakes his head.

Adrian Kalis: I’m fucking Lacey Gloria. How do you think I found out you were a traitor? She gave you up Figgy. She gave you up!

Figgins grunts as he torn out of the office, the crowd in the arena “OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”ing at the drama.

REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship Mass Burial Buried Alive Match

Anna Mathews vs. Virgil Keenan vs. Bubba J vs. Simon Kalis©



The crowd goes NUTS, thousands and thousands of fans standing to their feet and cheering wildly.



Maya Kalis: The following contest is a MASS BURIAL BURIED ALIIIIIIIIIIVE MATCH! For the REBEL Pro Wrestling World Heavyweight CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!

Fireworks pop off all over the arena, at the entrance ramp and the four corners of the ring.


The lights dim a bit and a rainbow of pulsing lights accompanies the rapid fire drum intro to Shonen Knife’s Perfect Freedom. The camera pans around the crowd for a moment before heading to the entrance way. Feedback ripples through the speakers causing the lights to be blinding. Finally, the guitar kicks in with a spotlight pointing the way. Our crowd looks on in anticipation as they begin stomping and chanting her name, loudly and proudly, causing a great deal of commotion.

Searching for perfect freedom
Overaccomplish, show no reason
Anarchy in the kingdom
It might be a mistake

Sure enough, above the entrance, standing on the steel frame of the tron, is a slim figure with her hands on her hips wearing a warm colored feathered cloak. Her eyes look out and beyond, observing the domain. Her mouth houses the biggest grin not on a jack-o-lantern.

What should I do?
What should I do-oo-oo?
What should I do?
What should I do-oo-oo?

She leaps off the steel, causing a brief scare for the fans until they realize she’s securely gliding down a wire towards the ring. It’s a wild ride (she almost kicks somebody’s head off at some point) that eventually brings her to the center of the ring. With a twist she unhooks the wire and it dances to the ceiling.

Anarchy in the UK
It might be a mistake

She crouches, the outfit covering her until she pops up and spins the costumed cloak off, revealing herself as the much anticipated Anna Mathews, who places her hands on her hips and stands tall, much like Superman on the side of a building, with the belt secured tightly around her waist.

Maya Kalis: In this corner, I give you the Queen of Dodos! One half of the AoWF Tag Team Champions! The Victory Wrestling Car Crash Television Champion! The HOTTEST chick this side of ME! ANNA MATHEWS!!!!

The crowd is going fucking ballistic, really pumped for the match.

Linzi Martin: Oh my god, this is going to be epic.

Jester Jay: Stop exaggerating. Amazing? Maybe. Fantastic? Possibly. Epic? Come on.

Larry Gordon: The contestants shall start in the ring, but they must make their way outside of the arena to win as their opponents can only be buried alive!

The chorus of Saliva’s “Badass” hits up in the speakers and the Rebel-tron stays pictureless.

“Cause I’m a badass
And you don’t want to clash
Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash
Cause I’m a badass
And this war is your last
You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast”
The song transitions to the first verse.

“I need you to hear this loud and clear”

As the first lyric begins to play from Saliva’s “Badass”, Bubba J walks from the back and stares out to the crowd, his fists wrapped in tape and then dipped in broken glass.

“The line and the sand is drawn and I have no fear
When I see red all I need is a reason to set me off
To drop this bomb and pick yourself off the ground”

He slowly begins to walk down the ramp, just staring into the ring, in his own “zone” he pays very little attention to anything surrounding him. No fireworks, nothing spectacular, nothing flashy; just music and him walking.

MAYA KALIS: From Durham, North Carolina; he stands at six feet and two inches while weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds… “The Ragin’ Redneck” Bubba J!

Bubba J steps up the ring steps before climbing through the ropes. Bubba J then steps over to his corner, facing the entrance ramp and waiting on the damn match to begin.

“Cause I’m a badass
And you don’t want to clash
Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash
Cause I’m a badass
And this war is your last
You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast.”

Linzi Martin: Oh God… Guess who’s out next?

he lights begin to fade, dimming to a calming light. Green and purple start to glow and flash, the arena looking to the stage as A Perfect Circle starts to play and blare. Sullivan is waiting in the gorilla position for the lyrics to hit before bursting out onto the stage. Fans are already responding in a harsh chorus of Jeers.*

*With the signal of the beginning lyrics Virgil storms out of his position, of course to a series of discriminating chants and boos. Virgil’s artier showed off as he started moving his way across the stage. The green and purple lights reflected and caused glimmer on his body. A cool, calculating smirk seemed steady and planted on his face, an unnerving confidence, a form of malevolence shines through. The ramp was laid out before him, en route to his goal.*

*Virgil walked calmly and professionally down the ramp. The steel ramp under Keenan’s feet reacted with a clank, none of which could be heard over the music and jeers in unison. Soon Virgil found himself on the matting surrounding the ring. He reacted quickly, rolling into the ring and heading towards the turnbuckle that was closest. Soon climbing up it he merely looked around and reacted with a combined smirk-scoff.*

Maya Kalis: He hails from St. Johns, Newfoundland! Standing in at 6 feet tall and an even 220 pounds… REJOICE MOTHERFUCKERS! FOR HIS NAME IS VIRGIL KEENAN!!!!!

Linzi Martin: Awwww… A newfie, just like you Jay.

Larry Gordon: The hell’s a newfie? Some sort of Canadian hot dog?

Linzi Martin: Close enough.

Jester Jay: …

Maya Kalis: And finally…

A golden arch of pyros comes over the entrance ramp as “Invasion” by Christian Poulet and Jean-Yves Rigo begins to play over the speakers. The crowd immediately rises to their feet in mass hysteria of boos! The sillhouette of a figure steps forward amongst the arch of pyros, a shadow created from the light.

Maya Kalis: He is the President of REBEL Pro.

We see a finished cigarette get pitched forward down the entrance ramp, the arch of pyros fades off as Simon Kalis steps forward and the roof of the building damn near comes off. He raises his head as the smoke comes billowing out of his nostrils and mouth. Kalis appears methodical with every step he takes forward, decked out in a long flowing black trench coat, a black turtleneck sweater beneath that and black sweat pants with black boots to finish off the outfit. And of course, a black eye patch over his left eye which shows fresh scars from the Masters of Armageddon attempt to destroy him. The fans at ringside are almost leaping at him, yet he moves as if he is the only man in the arena. He has the REBEL Pro World title strapped to his waist, but he also has a small box in one hand, and a six pack of beers in the other.

Maya Kalis: He is The Last Superstar!!!! SIMON KALIS!!!!

Kalis enters the ring and puts the beers down. Virgil, Anna and Bubba all eye him carefully. He opens the little box to reveal two pieces of cake. He offers one piece to Anna who is all smiles! Simon scarfs down his cake, but Anna uses the plastic fork to cut little pieces off the cake. Simon then grabs the beers and throws two to Bubba, takes two for himself. They crack them open and smash their beers together and chug them down. Virgil watches on, curiously. Simon splits the last 2 beers between Bubba and himself and they chug those down too.

Larry Gordon: Great. Mute, half blind- and now wildly drunk.

Linzi Martin: Wonder how the cake will mix with him.

Virgil yells out to Simon, seemingly asking him where’s his goodies. Simon responds with two middle fingers. Bubba and Anna find this amusing, even the fans do. Virgil? Does not.


Virgil surprises the opening of the match by actually steam rolling an attack straight towards Kalis. Keenan runs right at Simon, bringing his knee up as he pulls Kalis down and caves in is chest. He then hip tosses Simon to the canvas and hits a beautifully executed leg drop. The world champion and the masked man fight to the outside, as Simon grabs hold of Virgil’s neck and begins choking him and both men roll out of the ring. Bubba and Anna make a respectful lock up and fight in the ring. They lock horns, and a power struggle ensues. Anna knows she cannot win this battle, immediately overpowered by te much bigger and stronger Bubba J. Bubba J grabs Anna Mathews and throws her by her hair like a ragdoll into the corner turnbuckles. Bubba rushes her, lifting his knee into her chest. She stumbles forward and Bubba J headbutts her and she falls down against the bottom turnbuckle. Bubba puts his right foot against her throat, and begins applying heavy pressure and trying to choke the life out of her.

Larry Gordon: The two Order of Chaos men are putting on a dominant showing.

Linzi Martin: Surprised?

Jester Jay: Yes, considering they’re both old and semi retarded.

Virgil and Simon share fists, as a back and forth brawling contest opens up. Virgil Keenan is probably unaware Simon began his career as a brawler. Simon capitalizes on the experience and he tosses the challenger into the steel steps. Simon Kalis steps back and runs at Keenan, he goes for a big boot to Keenans face but Keenan spurts up the steps and jaw jacks him off the apron. Simon staggers back, dazed and a bit out of it while probably still feeling the effects of his battle with Reece Paxton earlier in the evening. Virgil comes at him bro, running flap jack. Simon is fucking down like the broken black dread pirate of doom and cake he is. Anna Mathews meanwhile is getting mudhole stomped back into Oblivion, perhaps into Sheogoraths realm of New Sheoth to purchase fine cheeses and split coloured clothing. Anna however, adorable and retarded and all- pushes her way away from the turnbuckles and tackles Bubba J in the knees, Bubba flips forward and hits his face on the top turnbuckle. Anna Mathews rubs her chest, and the male fans cheer this, as she gets to her feet. She hits a lovely standing moonsault on Bubba J and both of them hit the canvas hard in the ring.

Larry Gordon: As was stated earlier, this match can only end when three of these individuals are buried alive outside the arena. It cannot possibly end here in the ring.

Linzi Martin: Yeah I think they know, Larry.

Simon Kalis retaliates by lifting up the top half of the steel steps and throwing them at Virgil. Virgil moves out of the way, to the left- fucking cunt depth perception that Simon lacks, he didn’t calculate this- and the steps go flying into the front row and take out a whole group of fans standing at front row. Simon’s eye widens.

Jester Jay: Lawsuit! Lawsuit! Lawsuit!

Virgil with a rolling elbow! Simon staggered! In the ring! Anna Mathews with a Dragon Screw Legwhip, treating Bubba like her new redneck bitch! Virgil with a running knee lift on Simon on the outside, the one eyed Jedi Master is dazed as fuck! Bubba J is back up and right away Anna Mathews with a motherfucking swinging inverted DDT! The crowd is ELECTRIFIED! EVERYONE IS ON THEIR FEET! Virgil Keenan follows his offensive up with a European uppercut, and then just as Bubba gets up in the ring…




Linzi Martin: Virgil Keenan may’ve just decimated Simon Kalis, and Bubba J looks like all the wings and beers he’s consumed came hitting hard with the Heart Kick from Anna Mathews!

Larry Gordon: The two Order of Chaos guys down and out? Larry Gordon Approves This Match.

Virgil is pleased with himself at the carnage he has wrought on the World Champion, but he can’t be for too long as Anna Mathews leapfrogs over the top rope and hits a body splash right onto Keenan, taking both him and her into the crowd from the sheer velocity and force of impact. Virgil begins elbowing Anna Mathews in the face repeatedly from the ground, Anna Mathews raises her arms to try and block and defend the strikes. Simon gets to his feet and demands two more beers from a beer vendor in the crowd. He staggers over to Bubba, chucks Bubba a beer and then a cigarette. Both men hop up onto the apron, sit, and start drinking and smoking cigarettes. All the while Anna Mathews throws herself off of Virgil to avoid further getting smashed in the face from his elbows.

Larry Gordon: Oh this is real professional. Look at those two idiots.

Anna Mathews lunges at Virgil Keenan as he gets to his feet, a nice Bakatare Sliding Kick to show Virgil Keenan some love! Anna Mathews hops onto the apron then flies back down onto Virgil with a shooting star press!!! We imagine if Simon could still speak, he’d be remarking to Bubba J about her fine ass. Anna Mathews goes to lift Virgil up, but he grapples onto her- BRAINBUSTER ONTO THE STEEL BARRICADES!!! Anna Mathews is bleeding for all her trouble, all over her face. The crowd explodes into cheers!

Linzi Martin: They love her, but they love blood above all others in REBEL Pro.

Virgil Keenan stands over Anna Mathews and then notices Bubba and Simon, who simply shrug when they look his way. Virgil ignores them for now, and choses to lift Anna Mathews back up. Virgil Keenan goes for the Burning Hammer but Anna Mathews gets free! She gives him a Heart Kick of his own for their troubles, and both of them collapse to the ground outside the ring. Simon and Bubba toast their beers and finish them off, but Bubba J spins Simon towards him and crushes the burning ember of his cigarette into Simon’s recently stitched forehead from earlier tonight. Kalis winces, kick to the gut- TRAILER PARK TRASH!!!! TRAILER PARK TRASH!!! Simon bounces right up and remains down and out. Bubba heads right for Virgil Keenan as Keenan gets to his feet. Two middle fingers, a kick to the gut- TRAILER PARK TRASH ON VIRGIL KEENAN!!! Bubba cusses him out and gets to his feet, raising his arms- the crowd is going NUTS! Anna Mathews is up, hair and blood blinding her. Bubba J stalks her, waiting, smirking. She wipes the blood away, pulls her hair back- KICK TO THE GUT, TRAILER PARK TRASH!!! TRAILER PARK TRASH ON ANNA MATHEWS!!! The crowd is WILD right now!

Linzi Martin: Holy SHIT! Bubba J just wiped out EVERYONE!

Larry Gordon: The crazy old bastard. He even went at Simon.

Jester Jay: Of course he did Larry. This is a World title match, not a tag match. It’s business!

Bubba J whistles, and out comes a big red Ford F-150 truck. Bubba goes to the back of the truck and pulls out a bunch of rope, and begins hog tying Anna Mathews, then Virgil Keenan, all really quickly. The driver steps out, and it’s some really drunk guy in a Hardcore Drinking t-shirt and jeans. Bubba hogties Simon Kalis too now and begins dragging them all to the bed of the truck, dumping them in. He gets the help from his drunk pal. Virgil, Anna and Simon are all hog tied and in the back of the truck. The drunk dude who helped Bubba pulls out a pen and paper for an autograph, we suppose payment for his help. Bubba grabs his beer, drinks it down and then kicks him in the gut- TRAILER PARK TRASH ON HIS OWN DRUNKEN ACCOMPLICE!!

Larry Gordon: I suppose it’s a good thing they cleared a path to the outside of the arena, but how does Bubba plan to manoeuvre such a big truck past the ring?

Bubba hops into the driver’s seat and backs up the truck. He revs the engine and finishes another beer inside the truck. He blasts forward, and crashes right into and THROUGH THE FUCKING RING!!! The truck stalls, Bubba smashes his face against the steering wheel. Anna, Virgil and Simon slide all around helplessly in the back of the truck. The crowd cheers wildly. Bubba backs up the truck, now bleeding himself from the impact. He revs the engine again and finally blasts all the way through the REBEL ring, breaking open a bigger opening for the exit at ringside and driving right out of the arena.

Jester Jay: This drunk bastard is going to KILL EVERYONE!!!

Linzi Martin: REBEL Pro does not condone drinking and driving. Especially drinking and driving with three human beings hog tied in the bed of your truck.

Bubba J drives through the hallways following the arrows, until he gets right out of the arena and heads towards the mass grave pit set up for the match. He finishes off ANOTHER beer as he hits the brakes, a dozen yards or so away from the massive pit. The dump truck waits to complete the burial, and if we didn’t know any better we’d say Bubba is calculating how he’s going to pull this off.

Linzi Martin: So I suppose now he turns the truck around, backs it up and dumps the bodies into the grave. The goes to the dump truck and dumps the soil over them all and wins.

Bubba J revs the engine and nods.

Larry Gordon: Linzi, this is Bubba J we’re talking about. Not some rational thinking human being.

Jester Jay: Yeah. This is the Ragin’ Redneck.

While everyone isn’t paying attention to the three bodies in the back of the truck, it would appear Anna Mathews got free. Virgil Keenan and Simon Kalis look perplexed as fuck right now as Anna waves at them, smiling and still bleeding, and hops out of the back of the truck. Simon squirms and struggles, as does Virgil. Virgil begins cussing and Bubba J hits the pedal. He bursts forward, picking up speed. The truck goes over a mound of soil, bumpy ride as it FLIES right into the mass grave! The airbags go off, Bubba J’s face smashes against it. Virgil and Simon come flying from the bed of the truck and crashing into Bubba J through the back window. All three men are bloody, cut and just utterly fucked up.

Linzi Martin: Fucking redneck.

Anna Mathews hops her way over to the dump truck and throws on a hard hat, and enters.

Jester Jay: No. Really. How the hell did she get free?

Anna waves to the cameras and hits a button. It was a big red button, we figure that means mega super fuck you death for everyone.

Larry Gordon: I guess being a master of time and space comes in handy, doesn’t it?

The dump truck dumps a huge mound of soil into the grave. Not enough to completely bury and kill Bubba, Virgil and Simon- but enough to make it difficult for them to move- let alone escape. Inside the arena?


Maya Kalis: And of course! In another batshit crazy REBEL Pro World title match, Our Lady of Batshit herself… The winner of this match, and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW REBEL PRO WRESTLING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!! ANNA MATHEWS!!!!

Anna jumps out of the truck, wobbling around as she’s still bleeding pretty badly. But the referee shows up and hands her the REBEL Pro World Championship once again. The crowd in the arena is going nuts, as Anna has her hand raised. Meghan Nash Strader comes running out of the arena and jumps into Anna’s arms, catching her though before she falls since she’s pretty fucked up right now. They share a great kiss, the crowd goes nuts and Anna Mathews has her arm raised by Meghan Nash Strader, the REBEL Pro World Championship once again in the Queen of Dodo’s possession as we fade…


Simon Kalis defeats Reece Paxton to become the new REBEL Pro World Champion
Jaice Wilds & Wyn Mangum defeat Umbra to become NOCs To The Aggression Championship
Stolen Hearts defeat Hell & High Water for the vacant RPW Tag Team Championships
Adrian Kalis defeats Xan Vaxman to retain the AoWF Television Championship
Xan Vaxman defeats Virgil Keenan to win the Everyone Sucks But Me Tournament!
Anna Mathews buries Simon Kalis, Virgil Keenan & Bubba J to become new

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REBEL Pro World Champion

Aggression 6-25-2012

The logo for Aggression takes the screen and we move right to the ring where interim General Manager Tamika Nash Strader stands in the centre. Tamika looks quite proud of herself.

Tamika: Unfortunately as I look at the card tonight I realize some people here might end up getting double booked at Prove Your Worth, and for that, I apologize. Although if you do manage get double booked, and cialis vs viagra price come out the victor… well, you’ll look pretty fucking good won’t you?

Tamika paces slightly in the ring.

Tamika: Remember last week how I said I believed in rematches? Well, Adrian couldn’t be here tonight, but he passed on to me an idea, and let me tell you it’s a dousy people.

The fans are quiet in anticipation.

Tamika: Anna Mathews… you get your rematch at Prove Your Worth!

The fans erupt in cheers, loud cheers, for the Dodo Queen.

Tamika: Now you are all thinking what about Virgil? Isn’t he going to rough her up for that match? Well the answer to that question is… no.

The fans start too boo.

Tamika: I’m not done hold on. Geez, boo so early these days, won’t even let a girl spit it out. Anyways, Virgil will not get the chance to soften her up because he’ll be up against Bubba J and Reece Paxton as well. That’s right ladies and gentlemen your Pay Per View main event is Virgil Keenan versus Anna Mathews versus Bubba J versus the champ himself Reece Paxton in a Fatal Fourway Buried Alive Match! Mass grave style. All for the gold around Paxton’s waist.

This has the fans roaring in anticipation. Tamika smiles.

Tamika: See my son has a good idea once and awhile.

“All My Life” hits and Tamika leaves the ring.

Jacob Figgins vs. Virgil Keenan
Everyone Sucks But Me Semi-Finals
Electrified Cage Match

Virgil Keenan with a quick arm-drag catches Figgins off-guard. Floats over into an arm-bar. Figgins grabs the bottom rope and Keenan breaks the hold as he feels zapped asFiggy latches onto the cage. Figgins gets to his feet, rushes at Keenan, headlock takedown by Keenan. Sleeper hold from Keenan, Figgins is beginning to lose oxygen and bloodflow to the head. Figgins elbows Keenan in the side until Keenan has to break the hold. Clothesline from Figgins. Elbow attempt while Keenan is on the ground misses. Another attempt misses. Third attempt misses. Figgins wrings his arm in an attempt to fight the pain. Keenan is quick on the up-take and locks on another armbar. Figgins gets out by hitting a mean European uppercut. Figgins runs into the rope and charges at Keenan, Keenan counters with a hurricanrana. Holds onto Figgins’s leg, but Figgins kicks out at two. Figgins with a couple strikes to Keenan’s face. Keenan blocks one punch and fires one back. Then another. And another. Figgins backed up to the ropes, Keenan whips him across the ring. Kick to the gut from Keenan. Figgins down on one knee. And is shoved head first into the electrified cage. Keenan covers but only gets two. Keenan, frustrated demands that the referee do his job and count three. Figgins up behind him goes for a clothesline to the back of the head, but Keenan sees it and ducks. Figgins turns around, right into whatever fucking move it is he does well! Keenan with the cover, and he gets the 1-2-3 and the victory.

Winner: Virgil Keenan

The Dodo and The Nut Bag

Anna Mathews, The former REBEL PRO World Champion, is walking through some random backstage area, her replica championship belt over her shoulder. Why does she have a replica World title? Because she’s crazy. She wasn’t on camera long before being approached from behind by Xan Vaxman, who was loudly smacking gum. He stepped in front of her, causing her to stop.

Xan: “Well, well, well, I don’t think we’ve met! All this time I’ve been spending around here, I think it’s been like four weeks or whatever, I haven’t seen you to stop and talk to you.”

Anna: “Sew, ya doan’t no how long u’ve been hurr?”

Xan: “The days blur together really.”

She nods because that totally sounds legit. He leaned over ever so slightly towards her title, as if trying to get a better look at it.

Xan: “and what’s this? gasp! Why it’s the REBEL PRO World Championship! and What a lovely trinket it is!”

Staying in the viagra same position he glanced over at her now, head lopsided.

Xan: “I think I’ll take it.”

Her eyes shifted to the viewers watching at home. After a very brief internal monologue that doesn’t matter, she grinned.

Anna: “Yoor welcum ta giv et a shot.”

He stood up straight again and slapped his hands together hard, making a loud smack.

Xan: “Oh, I think I will! The real one anyway! But first things first I sadly have 2 more people I have to cut in front of…or was it cut the front of? I mistake those too sometimes. Either way I have Chad Kurtis tonight. I suggest you watch that, might be neat!”

Anna: “Ooooh. Neatness!”

Xan: “Until we meet though my shoulders going to be out in the cold though. Poor thing. oh wait, I know!”

It was then that he decided to pull off the belt to his pants, which made his jeans fall to the floor. He then put it over his shoulder.

Anna: O_O

Xan: “There! A placeholder! You know, I think I’m going to get used to the idea of wearing belts over my trapezius again instead! For now though I’ll have to go get ready for my match, it’s coming up pretty soon. Toodles!”

Anna: “k bi!”

She waved her frantic wave. He then began walking away, pants around his ankles, as he sang aloud to himself.

“Enemies fill up the pages
Are they me?
Monday ’til Sunday in stages
Set me free!”

‘The Show’ Chad Kurtis vs. Xan Vaxman
Everyone Sucks But Me Semi Finals
Electrified Cage Match

Vaxman and Kurtis step foot into the ring and stare each other down hard for a moment as the cage locks up and gets turned on. The bell sounds and Kurtis rushes in for the first strike, but Vaxman gets this one as he clotheslines the oncoming former everything Rebel Pro Champion! Vaxman bounces off the ropes and lands a leg drop. Vaxman gets to his feet and bounces off the ropes, going for another leg drop but Kurtis rolls out of the way because he’s not ‘The Show’ for nothing. Kurtis gets to his feet and powerslams an oncoming Xan Vaxman so hard the canvas shakes and the cage rattles! Vaxman adjusts his beard to make sure it is very much in place. Kurtis grabs Vaxman by the neck and chops him on the chest and then whips Vaxman into the ropes. Vaxman springboards off the ropes and lands onto Kurtis’s shoulder and goes for a hurricanrana, hitting it dead one sending Kurtis into the electrified cage. The crowd cheers for the most electrifying cage in sports today! Meanwhile, the sneaky fucking Redneck, Bubba J, comes down on a harness from the rafters, totally fucks up both men with The Trailer Park Trash but lays Vaxman over Kurtis for the 1-2-3.

Winner: Xan Vaxman

Bubba J vs. Umbra, Bobby Lee, and Jaice Wilds
Electrified Cage Gauntlet Match

They lock up and Bubba J with a side head lock and he holds on while Umbra tries to send him off the ropes. Bubba J with a side head lock take down. Bubba J lets go to to give him head shake and tell him where to shove it. Umbra with knees to the ribs. Bubba J tries for a splash into the corner but Umbra gets his knees up. Umbra with an STO and both men are down. Umbra gets up first and he connects with a knee to the midsection as he works on Bubba J’s ribs and gets a near fall. Umbra with a gutbuster from a gutwrench followed by a leaping gutbuster. Umbra continues to work on the ribs with a seated abdominal stretch. Umbra with a kick to Bubba J and then he slams Bubba J and Umbra with an gorilla press for a near fall. Umbra continues to work on the ribs with his knee on Bubba J’ chest in a chin lock. Bubba J gets to his feet yells to Umbra to come on! Umbra does so but is hit with the Trailer Park Trash. BubbaJ throws him into the electrified cage for good measure and gets the 1-2-3. The cage turns off and the door opens for Bobby Lee.

Bubba J starts with punches but Bobby keeps up with some elbows. Bubba J blocks a suplex and Bubba J with a neck breaker out of a suplex set up and both men are down. Bobby gets up first but Bubba J with clotheslines. Bubba J with a punch and a springboard forearm but Bobby is able to counter it slightly and both men are down. Bubba J with the springboard moonsault but Bobby counters the inverted DDT attempt with a snap mare. Bubba J rolls through and locks with a devasting Trailer Park trash, and another toss into the electrified cage for good measure. He makes the 1-2-3. The Door opens for Jaice ‘The Acehole’ Wilds.

Wilds goes to tie up with Bubba J who double forearm blocks and then leg sweeps Jaice. Jaice gets up quickly and smirks as Bubba J waits for him to get back up, turning his head to each side to pop his neck. They go to tie up and Wilds counters this time with a knee to Bubba J’s gut and a sharp elbow to the back of the head. Bubba J drops to one wickliffe pharmacy knee but grabs Wilds’ left foot and pulls him down to the mat. They exchange a few punches as they both battle back to their feet.Bubba J gets up first and locks in an armbar, wrenching Bronx’ socket and using his free hand to pull his other arm back. Wilds strains to get free and eventually gets his foot on the rope, forcing Bubba J to break the hold. Bubba J waits for Wilds to get back to his feet, and strikes with a quick kick to Jaice Wilds back, followed by two more. Wilds manages to fend off the third and pull Bubba J down. He goes for an elbow drop but Bubba J rolls to the side. He gets up but Wilds is all over him, connecting with a side suplex.

Irish whip sends Bubba J to the far corner; Wilds charges in and gets a kick to the face for his trouble. Bubba J charges back, right into a powerslam. Wilds lifts viagra men him up and locks in a bearhug, but flows into a spinebuster before Bubba J can break the hug. Bubba J goes to get up but Wilds locks in a leg lock, twisting Bubba J’s knee against the grain. At this point Chad Kurtis has made his way out to the ring and disconnected the redneck pile of batteries, making his way into the cage hitting both Bubba J and Jaice Wilds with the CK Finale. He drags Wilds over top of Bubba and tells the ref to count. 1-2-3.

Winner: Jaice Wilds

“All My Life” hits and Tamika Nash Strader walks out microphone in hand. Her music stops as she smiles down at the ringside carnage.

Tamika: Chad, I understand why you did what you just did. Maybe not the route I would’ve went, but eh, not everyone is the same.

Chad stands there with his arms folded across his chest listening.

Tamika: You were once the face of this franchise from what I understand. Maybe it’s time… you were that face again?

The fans give a huge pop for ‘The Show’. Chad nods.

Tamika: Good, because at Prove Your Worth your gonna have a mountain to climb. You will be facing… The Nasty One… one on one in a champion’s choice match for the Rebel Pro Aggression Championship!

The fans are going crazy, Chad looks very happy.

Tamika: Take this, and don’t make me regret giving you this shot. Oh… one more thing. That Ragin’ Redneck you just laid out? He’s the special guest referee!

“All My Life” starts up again as Tamika leaves the entrance way as Chad stares at the rising Bubba J and we head to commercial.

Mark McNasty vs Reece Paxton
Champion vs Champion
Electrified Steel Cage

The bell rings and they lock up and Paxton with a side head lock. Paxton with punches to the head and then a kick and a side head lock of his own with punches to the head. McNasty with a roll up for a near fall. McNasty with a drop kick and he gets another near fall. Paxton backs McNasty into the corner and he punches McNasty. McNasty floats over and he does a split to avoid a punch and McNasty with a kick and hip toss for a near fall. Paxton backs into the corner and McNasty misturar cialis com viagra with punches but Paxton slams McNasty to the mat. Paxton throws McNasty into the electrified cage. We go to commercial.

We are back and Paxton with a knee to the back followed by an elbow drop. Paxton with a single leg crab. McNasty gets to the ropes and gives himself a shock to get Paxton to release the hold but he maintains his focus on the back with a backbreaker. Paxton returns to the single leg crab. McNasty gets to the ropes one more time leans in and grabs the cage again cauing Paxton to release the hold again. Paxton with a forearm to the back. Paxton with another knee drop to the back. Paxton with a rear chin lock with his knee in McNasty’s back. McNasty tries to get out of the hold but Paxton sends McNasty face first into the mat. Paxton with a hard Irish whip. Paxton with a double sledge from the turnbuckles. McNasty with punches but Paxton holds on to the ropes when McNasty tries for a drop kick. Paxton with a kick to McNasty for a near fall. Paxton returns to the rear chin lock. Paxton catches McNasty and hits a side slam. Paxton misses a chance for a stunner and then McNasty gets a roll up for a near fall when Paxton misses a splash into the corner. McNasty hits hard with the clotheslines but Paxton with a cross body when McNasty tries for a belly-to-back suplex. McNasty with a power slam for a near fall. McNasty misses a scissors kick. Paxton tries for a power slam but McNasty escapes. McNasty with whatever fucking move it is for the 1-2-3.

Winner: Matt McNasty

Instead of fading to the logo we are in office of Tamika Nash Strader where Xan Vaxman sits. She looks very serious.

Tamika: Now, I didn’t want to do this, double book someone on our PPV, but it looks like we have too. What I’m giving you Vaxman is proven chance to reclaim that spot you once had. In Two weeks at Prove Your Worth you will be facing Adrian Kalis as sanctioned by the AOWF for his TV title.

Vaxman strokes his beard.

Tamika: You’re dismissed. See you in two weeks Vaxman. You better make me proud.

Rebel Pro Logo.


Virgil Keenan defeats Jacob Figgins to advance to the EsbM Tournament Finals
Xan Vaxman defeats Chad Kurtis to advance to the EsbM Tournament Finals
Jaice Wilds defeats Bubba J
Mark McNasty defeats Reece Paxton