I’d Consider

“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers, the lights pan around the arena, pyros go off, and very hot sexy women come out, dressed in cheerleader outfits. After twelve of them come out, Larry Gordon walks out himself, the fans, who were cheering at the leggy and busty cheerleaders, now begin booing heavily. Their outfits have a big “LG” on their chest, and you’ve probably guessed in what location as well.

“Fans!”

The fans boo heavily as the cheerleaders begin a “Larry Larry, he’s our man!” cheer. Gordon looks at them and smiles.

“What can I say?”

They continue booing heavily.

Larry: “Except that Bubba J isn’t here, he won’t be back, because he’s still… F.I.R.E.D! and for you idiots that can’t spell… he’s still FIRED!”

He laughs into the mic as the cheerleaders begin a “F.I.R.E.D” chant, causing the men and boys to be torn for booing them or cheering their moves.

Larry: “You sit there and stare at my lovely assistants, but boo me for business practices? You boo me for putting Jenny Jersey in her place? Yet the majority of you go home and beat your wives with fists, kicks, belts, and who knows what else?”

He shakes his head, his microphone not working as he begins speaking again. However, the big screen comes back on, showing Bubba J standing outside, somewhere.

Bubba J: “Recognize this place Gordon? Do you recognize it at all?”

Gordon tries to speak.

Bubba J: “I’m sorry, fat got your tongue? Well, its the house that you purchased with their hard earned money, the same money that you refused to give us a raise with in the past while we spilt blood and flesh in your ring… for your company.”

Bubba J shrugs.

Bubba J: “Not that I care, cause I fight for the love of fighting… but I do have something that I want to show you.”

He winks as the camera slowly zooms backwards. A mailbox reads “Larry Gordon, his address, and a huge Rebel Pro logo there as well.”

Bubba J: “See, I’m gonna…”

He holds up a gas can, waggling it back and forth to show that its nearly empty as he walks off from the front porch, making sure to create a line of the liquid.

Bubba J: “I’m gonna piss you off Larry and destroy your house. And I’m gonna keep doing shit like this, until I’m hired back… or I can get you in the ring.”

He shrugs.

Bubba J: “Whichever comes first.”

Gordon’s mic comes back to life.

Gordon: “You burn down my house and I’ve got video evidence and I’ll carry you to court and sue you for every single thing you have, right down to empty beer cans in my newly won truck.”

Bubba J laughs.

Bubba J: “Video evidence?”

A split screen, showing that someone has paused the recording of the show, it goes back to full.

Bubba J: “I know its far from perfect, but see if any of your fans will lend you a copy.”

Fans: “Hell No! Hell No!”

Bubba J shakes his head, Gordon is red faced and furious.

Bubba J: “Didn’t think so… and your little cheerleaders are a nice touch… guess they are paid big time to look that cheap.”

Some of them nod, they don’t care, the fans laugh, Gordon is beyond pissed.

Bubba J: “But a fire Gordon? That’s a bit over dramatic, because you can esily just rebuiled. Inside your home…”

The scene splits to show boxes in every room, with timers on their digital display counting down towards zero.

Bubba J: “I’ve planted, not exactly explosive devices, but boxes that will somewhat explode and fill each and every room of your house with shit…”

The fans laugh.

Bubba J: “With human shit, animal shit, some insect shit, if it shits… chances are that its contributed to the grand total…”

Gordon goes to speak, but Bubba J cuts him off.

Bubba J: “But… that’s not all…”

He steps up a ladder into apiece of machinery… that slowly becomes a crane holding a large bucket of some kind over the house.

Bubba J: “I’m gonna redecorate your house for you as well!”

A beeping is heard from his phone, somewhat explosive sounds come from inside the house and Bubba J turns a key which cranks up the big crane.

Bubba J: “And…”

He releases a lever, the huge tub thing opens up, covering Gordon’s house with shit and piss from a ton of porta potties.

Bubba J: “And that contribution came from Hardcore Drinking, where we had a shit-a-thon in your honor… though some people only had to piss… But they still managed to contribute to your redecoration.”

He laughs.

Bubba J: “I’d consider re-hiring me Larry… next week may be even more interesting.”

He gives Larry the Gordon before fading away. Gordon is too pissed to make another word, his cheerleaders are silent as we fade to commercial with the fans laughing and holding their noses.

Tag Team Match

Abbey Graves & Vincent Black versus Golden Inferno

The match started with Gold using his speed to his advantage over Vincent Black. Mostly in that Jeremy Gold tended to run away screaming at the top of his lungs as Black approached him. Abbey Graves had Inferno down, and was stomping his face in at ringside. Abbey hopped up onto the ring apron and did a cross body splash on Inferno, sending them both crashing into the barricade separating the fans from the action. Jeremy Gold finally got caught by Vincent Black, as he ran towards the ropes, bounced off by accident and met a huge boot from Black. Black covered Gold but Gold got a shoulder up after the two count. Inferno ran from Abbey Graves who gave chase, and then Inferno proceeded to get a gas canister from under the ring. He poured it all over himself and ran at Abbey, who dodged him. Gold in the ring slid out of it and grabbed some beer off of a beer vendor at ringside. He began drinking his sorrow away, as Vincent watched on unimpressed from ringside. Inferno finally set himself on fire and leaped onto Abbey Graves, trying to burn her. The crowd cheered, but she managed to escape although she wasn’t terribly burned she was still in a lot of pain. Gold slid back into the ring after downing multiple glasses of liquid courage. Black goes for a clothesline, he misses as Gold ducks. Gold spits beer in Black’s face and then grabs him, hitting his patented sit out face buster he calls The Golden Shower! Gold flips Black over and covers, putting his feet up against the middle rope for extra leverage. 1! 2!! 3!!! KICK OUT! But it’s too late! Black kicked out too late, and Gold, completely ecstatic and happy runs out of the ring screaming of his glorious victory. Inferno remains partially dead, the fire put out.

Winners: Golden Inferno

It’s Not Powdered Sugar

The camera cuts backstage to find a distraught Bobby Lee wondering around, stumbling around, doing pretty much what defines his entire career. He comes to a door marked, “Jeremy Gold”, he falls against it, the door opens and Bobby Lee falls into the room.

“I don’t wanna fight anyone.”

He seems to be talking to someone, but its only Bobby Lee in the room. Therefore, we observe that he’s talking to either himself or to one of the voices that he hears inside his skull.

“I’m scared of fighting. I don’t like fighting. I don’t like squirrels. I don’t like blood. I don’t like…”

He looks at the desk, the bottom drawer open and a carton of white stuff is in plain sight; though it looks as though it has had a simblence of being hid.

“But I love powdered sugar!”

He digs his finger into the powder, licking it off with delight. A funny look comes on his face after a moment. He sticks his fingers back in, getting another good lick off his fingers.

“How it sticks to your fingers and makes you feel…”

He sways.

“I can’ta believea dats somie leffy all sugar. Atey the donuttttttttssssssssssssss.”

He giggles, a groan man giggling hysterically.

“Shuts ups yous damns squirrelies.”

He giggles some more, adding a “s” to every thing he says. We hear a voice coming from down the hallway, Bobby Lee looks at the powder.

“Theys comes backs fors thes sugaries!”

He looks at the door, at the stash.

“Theys nots gonnas gets its!”

He slams his face into the stash, licking, snorting, all that he can do. He quickly raises up from the stash, white powder covering his face.

“Yous shants gets alls ofs its!”

Jeremy Gold walks in, finding Bobby Lee standing there with his cocaine powder all over his face.

“I loves powdereds sugaries!”

Gold just looks at Bobby Lee and at his very much depleted stash. He looks back to Bobby Lee who’s eyes roll up into his head and he falls backwards.

Gold: “Shit… Simon’s gonna kill me.”

RPW Tag Team Championship NOC Match

Second 2 None versus Fire Wood

Linzi Martin: Fans, we are back from commercial break with this Rebel Pro Tag Team match that is set for one fall and is for the Rebel Pro Tag Team Number One Contendership!

Larry Gordon: Both teams are already in the ring and are set to go.

Ding Ding

Jethro and Phoenix are in their respective corners, after their brutal Last Man Standing match last night; so its Matthew and Marvin starting this match off. Collar and elbow in the center of the ring, Engel with a quick wristlock, into a go behind, but Marvin with a quick reversal, back to a wristlock. Marvin with a kick to Engel’s ribs before yanking on the wrist, Engel drops down, flipping Marvin over onto his back. Engel up quickly, Marvin up as well looking at Engel. They come back together, Engel under the outstretched arm, grabbing a headlock, but Marvin with a quick series of elbows loosens the hold and the shove into the ropes breaks the hold completely. Engel off the ropes, ducking under the leap frog, he slams on brakes. Matthew spins around, Marvin right there with a kick to his midsection and a neckbreaker takes Engel down to the canvas.

Linzi Martin: Fast paced action here in the early going.

Larry Gordon: Doing good Linzi, just call the match the way you are supposed to.

Marvin with a knee drop onto Engel’s elbow has one of the first back to back moves of the match. Marvin begins to work the elbow of Engel a bit, stomping down before pulling him up to his feet. Whip into the ropes and Marvin lowers his head. Engel telegraphs the move, leaping over Marvin to bounce off the ropes. Marvin spins around, Engel with a springboard back flip lands on his shoulders, reverse hurricanrana sends Marvin outside of the ring. Engel wastes no time in bouncing off the ropes launching himself over the top with a suicide dive that sends Marvin crashing back first into the protective barrier.

Linzi Martin: Matthew Engel risking a lot there to put Marvin down for a bit longer.

Larry Gordon: All competitors are of the highest intensity, you’ve got to take chances.

Engel lifts Marvin up, rolling him up to his feet, face planting him on the apron, and then back into the ring. Grabbing a wristlock, Engel kicks him in the ribs and tags in Jethro Hayes, who is reaching out for the tag. Jethro steps through the ropes, kicking Marvin right in the ribs with his heavy workboot before a double whip sends Marvin’s now sore back into the corner.

Linzi Martin: How smart is it to tag Jethro into this match after last night?

Larry Gordon: They aren’t as dominant as they are for taking stupid risks.

Jethro with a roaring elbow and lifted knee slams into Marvin and The Phoenix is getting irate in his corner, yelling at the referee to do something about this. Jethro shoots him the middle finger before going back to assaulting Marvin in the corner, Engel takes this moment to step through the ropes and allow Jethro some time with Marvin. Jethro lifts Wood up onto his shoulders, going for a running powerslam. Jethro runs, Marvin slips off, somehow managing to spin Jethro around in the process and deliver a DDT center ring!

Linzi Marvin: He wasn’t the first Victory Wrestling Champion for his looks.

Larry Gordon: And I’m sure that you’ve checked them out.

Marvin gasps a bit, that move may have cost him a little something. Marvin pulls himself up quickly, knowing Jethro’s reputation for never quitting, before locking him in a sleeper hold in the center of the ring, being sure to dig his knee into Jethro’s kidneys.

Larry Gordon: Brilliant, two points of offense, with one hold.

Linzi Martin: And the sleeper is going to be quite effective, Jethro cannot even be fifty percent after last night.

Larry Gordon: Its the price that you pay in this business.

Jethro tries to shake his head, Phoenix is taunting him, and Engel is encouraging him. The crowd is behind him and he’s shaking his fist, struggling to get back up to his feet and break the hold. He manages to loosen the pressure on his kidneys, then shoving backwards, breaks the sleeper hold, but he’s unable to get up to his feet. Marvin, unsmiling and all business, pulls Hayes up, chopping his chest into the corner. Wood with a whip sends Hayes into Fire Wood’s corner where he tags in The Phoenix. Phoenix steps through, their turn to double team. Wood with Phoenix alternate kicks and chops as Jethro’s unable to fire back up much offense; that sleeper hold really did a number on him. Jethro kicks out at Phoenix’s ankle, while similtaneously punching at Marvin’s face. He doesn’t connect with Marvin, but he’s distracted enough to allow Jethro to escape.

Linzi Martin: What brutal action.

Larry Gordon: These fans are wanting blood Linzi!

Phoenix says something that catches Jethro’s attention, its all he needed as he spits right in Hayes’ eyes, causing the big man to turn his face. Marvin with a forearm to the face and Phoenix uses the momentum to roll him up in the corner and grab the tights.

One!

Two!

Jethro kicks out, just as Engel kicks out towards Phoenix’s face. Releasing the hold, Phoenix turns to Engel, who leaps up into the air with a front kick right to his face again; Jethro using the momentum to roll him up for a cover!

One!

Two!

Marvin breaks it up, kicking Jethro in the face, popping one of Jethro’s stitches in his hairline.

Linzi Martin: That busted one of Hayes’ stitches.

Larry Gordon: And Phoenix seems to be bleeding from under his mask.

Jethro loosens the pin, rolling over and getting slowly up to his feet; Phoenix rolling on out to the outside. Jethro does his best to get up to his feet, never quitting, but Marvin is right there. Engel intercepts Marvin, whipping him into the ropes. Wood bounces off the ropes, coming back with intensity and looking to smash into Matthew. Wood slides under Engel’s spread feet, popping up and delivering a dropkick to Engel’s chest which causes him to slam back first in the corner. In the corner Engel and Wood are battling back and forth with chops, the stinging variety thats got the crowd wooing to their heart’s content.

Linzi Martin: Who’s that?

Larry Gordon: Its most not certainly Hoody Ninjas, there aren’t enough of them

Jethro shoves up to his feet, just as two men in hooded robes enter the ring. The referee is distracted by Engel and Wood, doing his best to get some semblence of a Tag Team match back in order, even if there are no disqualifications in Rebel Pro.

Linzi Martin: I think they have a mind to attack Jethro Hayes here.

Larry Gordon: Most likely they do, did the lead pipe and baseball bat give it away?

Linzi Martin: That and the fact they are looking and pointing at Jethro.

Jethro turns as the men step over the barricade; Engel darts past Wood, coming to stand beside Jethro and Phoenix has somehow made his way to the other side to stand beside Marvin. The hooded druid type figures enter into the ring, immediately going after Engel and Hayes with their weapons. Engel gets a bat to the stomach while Jethro receives a lead pipe to the temple, causing him to go down heavily. The bigger of the two hooded figures nails Engel in the ribs with the lead pipe, while the smaller of the two men nails Jethro in the ribs with the baseball bat

Larry Gordon: Listen to this crowd boo and cheer, they love the blood and violence and I’m glad to bring it to them.

Linzi Martin: You ordered these hooded figures?

Larry Gordon: No, no, no; but if I had known of the reaction and probable ratings… I would have ordered them.

Linzi Martin: They are totally ignorning Fire Wood, who are just watching this massacre.

The two men are utterly desimating Second 2 None, leaving them bloody and beaten in the ring, arranged in a sacrificial way in the center of the Rebel Pro logo, on the canvas. Phoenix motions to Wood who makes the cover on Engel while he makes a cover on Engel.

One!

Two!

KICKOUT!

Jethro and Engel both kickout similtaneously!

Linzi Martin: And Wood basically said they don’t know each other.

Larry Gordon: You hardly ever see them hanging out.

The hooded men are half-way up the ramp, but Phoenix motions for them to go on, its basically inevitable from here.

Linzi Martin: He confirms that he did order them, by just dismissing them.

Larry Gordon: Why should they come back? Its basically over and Second 2 None with another loss on their record.

Fire Wood stand there with a member of S2N on their knees in front of them and slowly pull them up to their feet; a double punch to the gut doubles Fire Wood over. A double pulling them together headbutt causes Fire Wood’s heads to slam together with sudden and violent impact. Marvin, with the assist of a superkick from Engel sends Wood over the top rope and to the outside. Jethro sets Phoenix up, Planting him heavily on the Rebel Pro logo as Engel flies off with the Euthenasia. Jethro goes to protect the pin, but Engel taps him on the shoulder, Hayes spins around ready to fight off any attackers.

Linzi Martin: What is he doing?

Larry Gordon: Getting ready to have the hell beat out of him again, this time by his partner and friend Jethro Hayes.

Engel points down at Phoenix, they both step on his chest with one foot and look back at Marvin, slowly moving on the outside.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match, the team of Matthew Engel and Jethro Hayes… Second 2 None!

Larry Gordon: So it’s settled. Second 2 None will face Stolen Hearts for the REBEL Pro Tag Team Champions at Armed Assault!

Linzi Martin: It will be an intense match!

Larry Gordon: And The Phoenix will be facing Marvin Wood in defending the AoWF World Championship!

Linzi Martin: Shit just got real, Larry.

We fade to one last shot of Second 2 None victorious.

QUICK RESULTS

Golden Inferno defeats Vincent Black & Abbey Graves
Second 2 None defeats Fire Wood, becoming number one contenders to the RPW Tag Team Titles