The Harlequin versus Electra

The match began technically sound with Electra taking early advantage of a drop toe hold into a side headlock. As Harlequin pushed her off she flew with a lariat and from there an assortment of strikes. It wouldn’t take long for Harlequin to take the momentum, though, as he took advantage of a mis-timed flying head scissors to convert Electra’s attempt into a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker. It was almost non-stop from there, as an irish whip to the corner saw Electra stomped repeatedly into the ground. After pulling her to her feet and preparing for a final move, Electra saw one last opening to strike with a sitout jawbreaker, but as Harlequin staggered backwards she hit the ropes again. On the pass he ducked he move and on her rebound he landed a big boot to the gut, followed finally by his “Pie in your Eye” facebuster for the pin.

Winner: The Harlequin

Umbra versus Abbey Graves

After the entrances, we find Abbey Graves and Umbra in the ring. Umbra sits in the corner and watches Abbey, not moving.

Maya steps up, microphone in hand. Hoping to to do a good job in front of the past ring announcer.

Maya: In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds…from Chicopee, Mass. Abbey Graves!

Abbey waves to the fans before refocusing on the nutjob staring at her.

Maya: And sitting in the other corner, His height is unknown, His hometown is unknown, I wonder how big his dick is. UMBRA!

Umbra breaks his gaze from Abbey for the first time to look at Maya, who winks at him. Umbra just shakes his head and stands Abbey broke her gaze from Umbra as well to look at Maya, seemingly confused. In a flash Umbra tackles Abbey into the corner and starts stomping away at her violently. Since this is f***ing REBEL Pro the ref calls for the match to start. Umbra keeps stomping away before he backs from the corner and starts spazzing out on the ground. Abbey is a little beat up. but she looks at the freak on the ground with a look of confusion. She goes over to start stomping on him and lands a few before the spazzing stops and he surprises her with a quick roll up!

1..2…

Abbey kicks out and Umbra crawls backwards away from her. He stands and looks around, a bit confused before he timidly steps forward and offers his hand to Abbey for a handshake. Abbey looks at him like he’s an idiot, grabs his hand, and whips him into the ropes. Umbra bounces back and leapfrogs over Abbey and bounces off the far ropes. Umbra with a Lou Thesz Press!

Umbra starts raining fists down on Abbey wildly. They become more frenetic until Umbra just starts headbutting downwards over and over. Abbey is busted open and Umbras mask is covered in her blood. Umbra gets off of her and backs away and sits in the corner, seemingly frightened by his own actions.

Larry Gordon: Keep on her, you idiot!

Abbey stands and grabs a folding chair She gets in the ring and drops it in the corner. Umbra gives her no resistance as she DDT’s him on the chair. He just lay there motionless for a bit. Abbey pins him.

1..2..

Umbra kicks out!

Abbey grabs his hand as he starts to stand and goes to whip him into the corner but Umbra reverses it.

Umbra whips Abbey into the corner, but she walks up the turnbuckle and backflips over Umbra! It’s a pretty amazing sight, right before Umbra nails her with a superkick right as she lands.

Linzi Martin: SHADOWS SWIFT EMBRACE!

Larry Gordon: You know that shitstains finisher?

Linzi Martin: One of us has to do our research.

Umbra covers Abbey for a pin and starts tearfully apologizing to her.

1…2…3!!!

-DING DING DING-

Maya: Here is your winner, The creepy but still kind of sexy… Umbra!

Umbra looks at Maya, Abbey Graves blood dripping down his mask. We cant see his face, but we can imagine his confusion. Maya winks and licks her lips. The lights go out for just a moment and come back on, Umbra has disappeared.

CAKE: Featuring Some People or Something

Damn. As if we don’t have enough segments featuring the Aritst Formerly Known as Mitsubishi, here he is…again…in his office. Doing, I dunno, officey stuff and minding his own damn business for once when suddenly, an earthquake indusing voice booms from behind him.

???: HAI MASA!

He could single handedly break the record for the long jump. But he’s a Kalis and if he’s not used to loud and horrible noises by now, somebody needs to disown his ass. Seriously. As it stands though, he does a quick little double take at the rather mysterious appearance of Anna Mathews. Or as all you Rebel shmucks will now call her “Our Conquering Goddess”. He opens his mouth to say something that probably stupid, but Anna stops him with cake. Glorious cake. Of course, he accepts it. Eating cake with his cake eating grin. The jerk.

Adrian “I Hog All the Airtime In The World Ever” Kalis: So did you really mean it when you said you’d just hand the belt over to Shields?

She smiles.

Teh Goddess: Meh. Sure. Ai’m notta fraid ta be nice. ‘Sides hoo else kan it be yif et ain’t mii?

Adrian “Desperately Tries To Find A List Of Potential Champions” Kalis: Ummm. Jaice? Kvlt? Stone? Keenan?

Grand Dominator Supreme: Borink, useless, goin’ looney inna bad wai, an bitchy as all hell. Yesh. Dat’s a helluva list.

Ahhhh. The glory of sarcasm.

Adrian “Has Many Questions” Kalis: There’s such a thing as being crazy in a bad way?

Charming Master of the Universe: If et effects da proformance whorably, yeah.

Adrian “Is Really A Good General, Honest!” Kalis: He just won the number one contenders trophy!

Professor of Awesome: Against hoo? Fifty lusers and Virgil who wuz only a havva step behind.

Adrian “Captain Obvious” Kalis: Not all of us can dominate everything at warp speed, Anna.

This causes her to blink and put down her fork.

Dodo That Only Has One Speed Called Go-Go: Hmmm. Ai guess tat’s tru, innit?

Before this rather thrilling conversation can continue, a Puppet appears!

PuppetLiza: PuppetLisa’s missing!

Cue the dramamtic cord and Baron Von Kalis’ second double take of the night. He’s still not used to the puppets yet. Wuss.

Anna Mathews: Und bi missing, you mean…

PuppetLiza: I mean gone! Vanished! Ghostly! Poof!

She waggles her felted arms around. Apparently, this is serious business. Anna leaps off of her chair.

Anna Mathews: Shee prolly off trying two kill fings again. *sigh* Buuuut eye can’ts take teh chance.

With a flash, she’s gone! And back.

Anna Mathews: O. Sowwy, Mas. Let’s doo this agains sumtyme!

She plants a smootch on the top of his rather ghettofied head and disappears again. That won’t go over too well with the missus. But who cares? He still has cake. Nice delicious cake.

Adrian “For Fucks Sake Not Simon” Kalis: Charms.

He smiles and sits down with the cake as we fade to ringside.

Jason Arkertome versus “The Show” Chad Kurtis

Linzi Martin: Two time REBEL heavyweight champion Kurtis set in action against another all-american player with credentials that stretch to Harvard’s side of accolades. What can you expect between this ring veteran and that high scholar, Norton?

Jake Norton: Some might imagine it to be a balanced exchange, but on the contrary I suspect Chad Kurtis to outdo Arker here. Not because Arker isn’t a smart guy, but bookworms can’t meet street smarts through same means; especially when this street smarty is backed by years of experience; years of perfecting a specific style. He’s a former heavyweight champion for that exact reason, Linzi.

Disproving Norton’s prediction in the opening minutes by switching Chad’s mat-play into a brawling challenge via mounted backfisting, Arkertome focuses on Chad’s spine heavily. Not allowing himself to stay under Arker’s control, Chad tries muscling out by elbowing, but Arker being a technician himself, seizes the arm to apply his own headscissors armbar.

Advancing eleven minutes later, Chad has a weak left arm and back, thanks to Arker’s determined workings, but has managed to mess Arker up noticeably by countering Arker’s Irish Whip into a belly-to-belly for his own front-flip piledriver! A shocking turn that literally came from nowhere and left Arker unconscious, Chad breathless and fans stunned. Way to even the odds, Chad-boy!

Capitalizing should have happened sooner but Chad’s wounds stomped his pace considerably. Still, Kurtis managed to find a pulse within to Leg hook Saito Suplex his still fighting adversary, causing Arker to back himself into a corner, which foolishly allows Kurtis to get ballsy by darting across the ring for a cannonball senton! This is where Kurtis should pin but instead, looking to maximize his chances, Chad ascends the turnbuckles quickly and shoots upward for a best moonsault ever, which by no means is his finest, but was enough to keep Arker down for the three.

Jake Norton: Sexy ending, right there.

Linzi Martin: I’m surprised Arker got a near twenty minute match from Chad.

Jake Norton: He may not have won but taking a former REBEL Pro champion to a challenging distance rubs on him well. These two may be forced to wrestle again but on a higher stage for much more at stake than just pride and potential contendership. I’m sure Chad Kurtis will keep Arker’s threat in mind.

Linzi Martin: Nonetheless, Chad kept going and found victory because of this will. Anna best be ready for a new wave.

NANANANANANANANA VAXMAN!

Alexander O’Ryan is already in the ring after we come back from a short commercial break. He is wearing a suit and yellow tie, over his shoulder there is a championship belt which despite being digitally blurred you can clearly has a Mexican flag on it. He brings a microphone to his mouth and begins to speak.

“I’m going to start off by saying just how surprised I am at the response I got from the fans last week when I showed up here in Rebel Pro. I’m usually accustomed to being booed when I first show up in a new promotion, not cheered. I thank you for that. That was a nice change right off the bat for me there.”

The fans in attendance respond with a small applause, they seem to get that he really is grateful.

“I requested to come to Rebel Pro because of that. I need to start over from the bottom up and even though I have the option of going back to PWA, or to join the not-so-newly named TGW I chose here instead.”

The fans burst into cheers, happy to hear that he is practically exclusive to them.

“Some of you who keep tabs on events outside of AoWF may have heard something about this, and don’t worry I won’t go into too much detail, but I have recently found myself in a stroke of back luck. I’ve lost my wrestling business empire down in Mexico, I’ve lost a large sum of money, and I’ve been taken down a few pegs because of it.”

he motioned to the title belt on his shoulder

“This is all I have left of what was once a very wealthy and braggadocios lifestyle I had developed because of that success. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not going to bring this out every week as a reminder of to all of you of how awesome I am. No. That’s something El Gringo Tonto would do. Instead what I’d like to do is ask just how many people here tonight would life to own a authentic lucha libre world championship?!”

The crowd pops huge at this, several members pointing at themselves or raising their hands.

“It isn’t going to be free, so how about we start a little auction right here, right now with a starting price of… oh… say… five dollars.”

several members of the crowd start waving five dollar bills towards O’Ryan, it isn’t clear if they know how an auction works or not.

“Do I hear ten dollars?”

predictably several thousand people make it obvious that he does. one fan in the front row whips out and starts waving a one-hundred.

“Yes! Perfect! Do I hear one fifty?”

One fan, not far from the last one obliges this.

“How about two-hundred, do I hear two hundred?”

The crowd is going crazy but almost none are going for this deal until one man up in the G section starts making it clear he’s a taker.

“Two-fifty?”

No takers, but the crowd seems to really be enjoying the interactivity

“Okay. Going once!”

…

“Going twice!”

…

“SOLD! To the fluffy fellow in section G with the Simon Kalis hat and the hotdog!”

Alexander gets out of the ring and actually hops the barricade into the crowd, walking up the stairs as fans around him try to touch him past security that followed him from the guardrail. He hands the title belt personally to the man before being asked by him for a picture, to which he obliges by handing off the camera to one of the security members. He then takes the money from the man before shaking hands with him. “Short change hero” then begins to play over the PA as O’Ryan makes his way out through the stands to a backstage area.

Virgil Keenan versus Jacob Figgins

Jake Norton: You know, I sure do enjoy commentating. Maybe I should’ve done this instead of actually wrestling cunts like Teresa Quaranta and Stevie Swing.

Linzi Martin: That’d take away half of their wins.

Jake Norton: Useless, I say. Unlike these next two fellas that aren’t stuck in the same combat pattern and know more tricks than a northern light suplex. Tell these people who’s coming, Lizzy!

Linzi Martin: Fifth generation superstar, pegged as ‘the next conspiracy’ Jacob Figgins–

Jake Norton: Who’s got a nasty habit of clotheslining the heads off faggots.

Linzi Martin: Against the cheeky, the walking paradox, and a bunch of other ‘Tyler, the Creator’ quotables, Virgil Keenan–

Jake Norton: Reminds me of myself. Except with a higher success rate..

Linzi Martin: Don’t compare yourself to Virgil. You’re a faggot.

Since we’re all about summarizing, let’s pick apart this fifteen minute non-stop lucrative bout creatively:

- Keenan, a well-known chain grappler, was suckered into Figgins’ seemingly mutual interest in beginning this match in Virgil’s favor but a spontaneous Lariat to Virgil brought about a near three count!! Fans, including the commentary team, went nuts, believing this to be a squash but when Virgil kicked out, yes, Figgins was slightly annoyed but happy with the result nonetheless. He’s got a serious advantage right here. To let Keenan reform would be a mistake.

- Continuing punishment on Keenan’s neck, Figgins utilized an unhooked necktie suplex into a cutthroat backdrop suplex, finished with a release deadlift german suplex! Pin attempt happens but no dice, fortunately for those Virgil fans.

- Lifting Virgil onto the top rope, which shows no love for his testicles, as Virgil straddles in pain: Figgins climbs the turnbuckle signaling for his signature. Two seconds pass and Jacob is ready to dive. When he does a second later, Virgil randomly takes hold and drives him into the canvas thanks to a double arm DDTTTTTTT!!!!! THE RANDOMNESS GETS CHEERS, naturally.

- Several variations of clinch holds focused on the trapezius muscle display Virgil’s uncommon technique quite well, but isn’t going to end the match. Nope, Virgil is an entertainer and has casual fans’ interest in mind. So, once Figgins is taken down into a headscissors lock, Virgil – NO! Jacob slickly rolls backward and steals a variation of Virgil’s texas cloverleaf! Making it worse on himself by trying to escape, Virgil’s groans increase but eventually three sharp elbows to Figgins’ back ends the submission.

- Figgins quickly jumps back on offense by kicking Virgil thrice in his ribs, but Virgil smashes his forearm against Jacob as he’s brought to his feet. Instead, one high impact knee to the gut temporarily paralyzes Virgil and allows Jacob to nail a Reverse STO! Now that Virgil is face down, Jacob slips to his knees to:

Jake Norton: Crossface! A step of his Conspiracy Theory is completed! Virgil is fucked!

Linzi Martin: No, Virgil won’t let him! He’s squirming – doing his fucking best to escape!

Jake Norton: Virgil knows if this locks in, it’s over.

It locks in. Figgins gots his crossface locked in, and Virgil is a bit away from the ropes. He doesn’t want to tap. He can’t tap. Not after all of this! Figgins can taste victory, and it’s possibly inches away. It all comes down to how long Virgil can last. How far Virgil is willing to go? But Figgins is intensifying his submission maneuver by bringing Virgil backward.

Jake Norton: MY GOD LIZZY!

Linzi Martin: Rollover! Virgil has got Figgins on his back, and the referee is counting!

1.. 2.. Kickout! Figgins released the hold. Close call but the game continues. Both men rush to their feet, and when they do:

Jake Norton: LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Linzi Martin: OH EJHQWAELF FUCKING EKFLLEWKJR GAWD! HE GOES FOR THE PIN!!

Jake Norton: 1.. 2… 3! THAT’S IT! HE’S DONE IT! HE DID IT! HOW IN THE FUCK—

Using his own finisher against him, Virgil Keenan remarkably overcame Jacob Figgins.

Jake Norton: And the winner of this match, Lizzy, is Virgil Keenan. =’)

Virgil Keenan is a Murderous ASSHOLE

It’s always the small things.”

“The tiny things like jack Spade saying he murdered a guy, and expecting us not to laugh.”

“The tiny things like the Order shitting all over the infinite playlist, what’ll you see next week?”

“It’ s Simon Kalis being hung upside down on a cross.”

“It’s the ever increasing roster of puppets.”

Virgil sits down a moment in the ring and grabbing the black cloaked item, about the size and silhouette of Al the bear.

“People have been asking what I’m doing, what am I going to do. Outside complaining, what is Virgil actually going to do to help place this company forward, removing the insulting images and perpetrators from its ranks. What task has he assigned himself going forward. Up till now all I’ve really done is talk, but this week I am placing my foot down and partaking in the action portion of activist. What I have here is a symbol, an icon in terms of what is wrong with AOWF.”

“What I have here is a statement.”

“What I have, is Puppetlisa.”

With that Virgil stands up and flicks the black cloak off, flinging it to the outside of the ring. Lumping to the side pathetically is Puppterlisa with a half smile, wool hair and stitching keeping it entwined.

“It doesn’t move, it doesn’t talk, it doesn’t type, it doesn’t insult, it doesn’t live.”

“It’s a fucking puppet and every week you all have to stare and gawk at it as a little girl goes through a plethora of voices and personalities. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea? Let some idiot savant walk the halls, stitching together puppets, dollz, and fucking miming title belts? Who thought that was a good message for our brand. Who decided to play it off like it’s anything but an insult. This puppet, this doll, It’s the spiritual follower to Al, a fucking stuffed bear that has actually held titles, it’s the spiritually follower to the smoking monkey, nothing but a blight on AOWF’s image. This puppet has actually managed to become a symbol and a commonplace sight amongst the halls, and we play the footage. Anna Mathews fucking has both Aggression and World titles around her waist coming out of BWM and I’m apparently the only one who’s fucking sick to his stomach by it. “

“So what I have before you is a plan to remove at least belt from her. You thought the Battle royal would be the end of me? I put all my eggs in one basket? No, not at all. I don’t need a trophy to get your attention Anna, I just need to speak up loud enough for you to hear me. “

I bend over grabbing the doll.

“I’m taking it upon myself, to take from you, your heart, like you’re taking away mine.”

I take the puppet by the arm and rip it off, tossing it into the fans.

“I’m destroying something you love, because you’re insulting mine.”

I stick my finger into the stuffing gaping hole left from the arm and rip the stitching apart and rip across the stomach, the dress and stuffing get thrown asunder.

“ Tonight I rid but one small dose of bullshit from the program, and I do it as a warning, as a call out that I’m not taking this shit, we, are not taking this shit. I hope you can hear me Anna, I hope your ears are wide open, because what you’re seeing here is nothing but a crystal ball of your immediate future. I will not accept no for an answer, I will not accept a retard as our mascot, I will not allow Rebel-pro, AOWF, to become the site of the Looney bin mother fuckers, and it starts with you.”

“I don’t have a title match? I never earned a title match?”

“You think that’ll stop me? You think I’m so easily defeated? I haven’t been preaching and talking about this only to let a loss stop me headlong. No, that’s not Virgil Keenan. I’m a man of action, of doing. I can’t topple a faction, on my own, I can’t fire Spade, umbra, and Mathews on the spot. I can’t make them stop being little bags of fags. That’s not something I can do as a competitor, as a mere wrestler. What i can do is make noise, enough noise that people start hearing it and ask what it’s all about. That’s how a message spreads Anna, that’s how movements begin.”

“Today A puppet, a sacrificial lamb.”

“Tomorrow the world title.”

“The next day? Complete and utter freedom, or perhaps just a moderation of media. Perhaps, mayhaps, perchance, a mode of stepping up our game, perhaps a hiring process that you don’t fill out on the back of a cereal box.”

“Does that really sound so farfetched? NO, it’s not, not to me. I’ll fight for it, I’ll be that guy who isn’t afraid to step forward and give a switch fucking kick to AOWF’s balls saying “we’re not okay with this.” We aren’t’ okay with 7 year and 10 year old factions trying to be relevant again. We are not okay with unrealistic joke competitors who are okay sliding by on mediocrity and their blatant insanity. “

“This is the date change began.”

Virgil drops the stuffing remains of Puppetlisa at his boot. He stomps it into the matt while he pulls out from his pocket a pack of matches. With a deep glare into the button eyes of the puppet, still half smiling like nothing was awry at all summons the last flick of the wrist, dropping the burning pack down onto the stitching fabric.

“Consider this your notice.”

Virgil drops the microphone and stage hands quickly roll into the ring, dousing the fire as Dancing through Sunday blares through the speakers.

Jaice Wilds versus Reece Paxton

The match started off with a handshake between these two Order of Chaos members. Jaice Wilds displayed his intense acrobatic and aerial skill, springboarding off the top rope and landing a vicious hurricanrana on Reece Paxton. Reece rolls with it and gets to his feet, hitting a reverse DDT on Jaice Wilds. Reece heads to the top rope and lands an elbow drop, goes for the cover but only gets a 2 count. Jaice Wilds is back in the thick of things with a senton splash, following it up with an asai moonsault. With Reece on the canvas, Jaice springboards off the top rope, flips, and hits an awesome leg drop. He covers but only gets a 2 count. Jaice continues his offensive dazzling, whipping The Coyote into the turnbuckle. He rushes and goes for a drop kick, flipping Reece out of the ring. He climbs to the turnbuckle but Reece slides back into the ring. Jaice turns around from the middle rope but Paxton grabs onto him, COYOTE CUTTER! Reece quickly covers! 1! 2!! 3!!! Reece takes it! But Reece helps Jaice to his feet and both men shake hands, and raise each others arms in a show of respect.

It’s A Ghost

We come back from commercial and find that Bobby Lee is making a total ass of himself. He isn’t booked for amatch, he’s just out there yelling at the fans. At one point his arguing with a fan becomes quite heated and he takes a swing at the fan. But seriously, it’s Bobby Lee. The fan ducks out of the way and is unharmed, but Bobby goes and grabs a chair from under the ring.

Linzi Martin: Someone needs to do something about that idiot.

All of a sudden out steps an individual in a very expensive looking suit, several of the fans recognize him but he hasn’t shown his face in a very long time, and never in an AOWF ring. He looks to be about 6’10 and pretty handsome for an older gentleman.

Larry Gordon: Is that…?

Linzi Martin: Danny Daemon! Father of Johnny Maverick! I’m… pretty sure he’s REALLY retired.

Danny approaches Bobby calmly, we can’t make out what he’s saying but we can tell he is trying to calm Bobby down. As Bobby finally calms down, Danny is able to reach out and yank the chair out of Bobbys hands. Bobby screams something about Martians and smacks Dannhy in the face and Danny just stands there for a moment, his eyes closed. Bobby rears back to do it again but Danny catches his arm and uses the momentum to pick Bobby up on his shoulders in a firemans carry before slamming him down on his knee with a gutbuster.

Linzi Martin: The Ritual Disembowelment! Danny hasn’t lost a step.

Larry Gordon: Like you’ve ever seen a Danny Daemon match.

Bobby stands up and another of Dannys signatures returns as he spits a mist of blood in Bobbys eyes. Bobby begins to writhe on the ground.

Danny straightens his tie, He’d look downright dapper if not for the blood dripping from his mouth. He motions for a member of the ring crew to hand him a microphone. The terrified individual, well aware of the veterans reputation, obliges swiftly.

Danny Daemon: “I have a message for the REBEL Pro roster.”

Danny takes a moment to casually wipe his face.

Danny: “Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. If you are not familiar with who I am, then I will introduce myself. My name is Danny Daemon and I am a retired professional wrestler as well as the CEO of Crimson Incorporated. However, there are only THREE things I will answer to from a member of the REBEL Pro roster: Mr. Daemon, Sir, or Commissioner Daemon.”

The older wrestling fans cheer at this. The rest probably should have been carded before coming to a REBEL show.

Danny: “I am here to bring… something resembling civility to REBEL Pro. If you get out of line, I will be there to talk some sense into you. If you are past the point of reasoning? Things could become physical, and you will not like it. I dont care who your friends are…. or who your FATHER is.[/color]

The fans kind of ‘Oooh’ at this.

Danny: “Someone in a position of power made a deal with the devil. So if you step out of line? I will see to it you find your way to the back of it.”

Bobby Lee blindly begins to grab at Dannys slacks. Danny grabs him, lifts him up for a suplex, but twists him as he picks him up, clutches around his waist, and quickly plants his head into the protective mats (Oh who are we kidding) with a tombstone piledriver.

Linzi Martin: TWIST OF CAIN!

The audience loses it a bit, as Danny stands, no emotion on his face as he once again adjusts his tie over the limp frame of Bobby Lee. He picks up Lee like he’s a bag of trash.

‘Number Of The Beast’ By Iron Maiden plays as Danny walks to the back, he takes a moment to look out at the audience and we catch the slightest hint of a smirk before he leaves.

Chamber versus Kvlt Drachen

Maya: The next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Kvlt Drachen!

“Dreams of Blood and Iron” by Marduk hits the PA, with a chorus of disapproval from the fans. However, as the suspenseful moments begin to pass, Drachen does not appear. The music cuts.

Abbey Graves: Um, once more.. Please welcome, Kvlt Drachen!!

“Dreams of Blood and Iron” hit the PA once again, but still no Drachen appears. Shortly after, though, a presence does appear and begin to make his way up the rafters. It is the tall, slender frame of Drachen’s opponent.

Linzi Martin: That doesn’t look like Drachen! What’s going on?

Abbey Graves: Or.. Not! Ladies and gentlemen.. Instead, please welcome, the man known as “Chamber”!

Chamber reaches ringside, a polite smile on his face. He pulls himself up and slides between the ropes, then tips his head in a gentlemenly bow towards Ms. Graves. She smiles with a hint of a blush and then exits the ring.

Linzi Martin: Chamber helped to take out one Master of Armageddon last week. Could he have done it again here tonight?

Larry Gordon: Doubtful, he’s all by himself and you know know the MoA operates by now.

He takes a moment to pace and survey the crowd, while his booked opponent’s music continues to play in the background. Eventually his motions for a microphone. With a serene smile ever-present, he waits for the music to subside before he begins to speak his peace.

Chamber: Greetings, great fans of Rebel Pro! How I wish I could stand here before you on this evening and say you are about to witness a contest of two great athletes who fully intend to brutally maim and attack one another for your viewing pleasure! Sadly, I regret to say that is not the case.

The fans – at least, the ones who caught what he was saying – voice their disapproval of the match’s apparent cancellation.

Chamber: As I understand it, the good Mr. Drachen has been otherwise detained and is no longer available to make an appearance tonight. As such, I thought I would take the opportunity to introduce myself, and perhaps make light of certain subjects which may currently be casting a dark shadow.

Linzi Martin: That would be helpful!

Chamber: For instance, perhaps you would be curious to know why I appeared in league with Sir Adrian Kalis at Barbed Wire Massacre just last week before leaving abruptly?

The fans pop with some applause and such.

Chamber: Unfortunately… I cannot answer that at this time.

Immediately the reaction turns to boo’s.

Chamber: Or, maybe you would like to know why I participated in the attack incapacitating the MoA’s de facto leader, the man known as Fley but refused to finish the job?

Again some applause and bewildered cheering.

Chamber: Unfortunately… I cannot answer that right now, either.

The annoyance of the crowd is apparent with a much louder chorus of jeers.

Chamber: I would love nothing more than to divulge the true benefactor behind my arrival and satisfy your curiosities with the revelation of my ultimate purpose.

He pauses.

Chamber: Unfortunately… That is not going to happen tonight.

The boo’s reach an even louder decibel, forcing him to pause for several moments before they subside.

Through it all his peaceful smile never fades, and he shrugs a bit in response.

Chamber: What I CAN tell you is this: while your voracious appetites for destruction could be satiated by my hand this evening, I will do everything in my power to heap a gluttonous feast on the table at my next possible opportunity. Moreover, I give you all nothing but my solemn promise that the mundane, trivial “order” you are so helplessly subjected to will soon turn to a much more palatable level of chaos.

Another pause, his smile widens a bit as he amuses himself.

Chamber: That is to say: I intend to fuck some people up for your entertainment.
His smile grows even wider as the crowd’s apparent dissatisfaction is instantly turned as they voice their approval with rauccous cheering.

Chamber: Enjoy the rest of your evening, and until next time…

He drops the mic as Drachen’s music hits the PA once again – apparently having been appropriated for his own use. He rolls out of the ring and as he makes his way backstage, notices a fan wearing an Anna Mathews t-shirt. He smiles as the fan and with a wink, he makes a gun out of his right hand and gestures a “shot” right at them – then continues to departure.

Linzi Martin: Well that was cryptic.

Larry Gordon: Cryptic and pointless.

Linzi Martin: Well the fans got robbed of this one, but the main event is yet to come!

REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Match

Jamie Shields versus Anna Mathews©

Linzi Martin: Anna is such a fighting champion. That’s an admirable quality. I don’t know how she’s here tonight with us after that grueling barbwire brawl with Bubba J,

Jake Norton: It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide. I don’t have much money, but boy if I did: I’d buy a house where we both could live.

Linzi Martin: And Jamie Shields got serious opportunity here to redeem himself against the double champion.

Jake Norton: If I was a sculptor, but then again, no. Or a man who makes potions in the travelling show, oh I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do! My gift is my song and this one’s for you.

Linzi Martin: Are you singing to me?

Jake Norton: You can tell everybody this is Anna’s song. It may be quite simple but now that it’s done: I hope you don’t mind that I put down into words how wonderful life is with Anna in the world.

Wonderful Anna comes to the ring where she proceeds to outwrestle Shields wonderfully for the opening minutes of this main event bout. Considering both been through hell recently, and both sport the looks to confirm it, for the match to be running at this pace, it’s a decent main event. Though sloppiness by each competitor indicates either could be shelved if dropped wrongly. Never mind end up dead.

Still, Anna being the adorably thoughtful gal she is takes flight for the crowd’s pleasure and Shields’ disdain. Her twists, twirls, flips, dives, splashes and all the other crazy things aerialists do to satisfy happen. When Shields got sensible enough to put his hard-hitting hands to good use, he superman punched Anna in mid-air as she tried to do that flipping seated senton she’s known for. Soon after, he’s clobbering our Heavyweight and Aggression champion into (still lovable) bits.

Clocking out around the thirteen minute mark, (hey! They’re exhausted!) Jamie goes to the corner waiting for Anna to rise and eat his Annihilation. When she does rise, Jamie naturally charges without hesitation, but if he did, perhaps he would have missed Anna’s dramatic superkick to the skull! Down goes Shields and into the cover goes Anna. Two slaps to the mat by the referee gets the crowd buzzing for the third, but Shields somehow gets his shoulder up. Matches that end via surprise super kicks suck anyhow.. ;^D

So, here we are. The match marches on another five minutes. Anna does her loony tunes offense (which isn’t an insult but a compliment to her fantastic high flying! Tweety bird style) and Shields is Sylvester the Cat in defense(that means he’s getting his booty rocked). Up until a Double A Spinebuster level of power grounds a springboarding Anna harshly for a two count. Lying on the mat for a bit, it’s now about who makes it to their feet first. Usually the last person to execute a move stands before the victim but Anna is less hurt now than Shields, who’s got a nosebleed.

When Shields gathers himself, the last remaining energy he had is ripped out of his chest thanks to a Boomerfly Kick. This is how the match ends. Anna Mathews wins!

It Isn’t Over

Jaice Wilds sits alone in his locker room recovering from his match earlier in the night. But his solitude is short lived upon the appearance of a figure in a black hoodie. The figure is quick to heave Wilds out of his chair and slam him into the row of lockers behind him. Wilds goes to fight back but meets a boot to the chest, sending him into the lockers once more. Picking up the chair and folding it back up the hooded figure swings, sandwiching Wild’s head between locker and chair. Wilds crumples in a heap as the figure departs a piece of paper falling behind him.

It read “It doesn’t end with Fley.”

Fade to black.

QUICK RESULTS

The Harlequin defeats Electra
Umbra defeats Abbey Graves
Chad Kurtis defeats Jason Arkertome
Virgil Keenan defeats Jacob Figgins
Reece Paxton defeats Jaice Wilds
Chamber vs Kvlt never happens but we get fun words with Chamber yeah!
Anna Mathews defeats Jamie Shields, and maintains a grip on all the shinys in REBEL Pro. For now?!

The Civil War of REBEL Pro Part 2

The lame camera crew rushes in at the closing moments of this “friendly” meeting between Larry Gordon and Adrian Kalis.

Adrian Kalis: You understand you have no choice?

Gordon sits across from the young General and scoffs at whatever notion we’ve walked in on.

Larry Gordon: We’ll see about that, won’t we Adrian?

Adrian leans forward, tapping his index finger on the desk.

Adrian Kalis: When this night is over, REBEL Pro will be in flames Larry. And you? You will be fucking dead, old man.

Adrian twirls an unlit cigarette between his fingers.

Adrian Kalis: From the ashes, REBEL Pro will live on without you Gordon.

Larry Gordon: I always admired your family, so much ego even though none of ya’ll have the talent to back it up.

Adrian Kalis: Do I look like Justin Case to you?

Adrian slides over some sort of documentation to Gordon.

Adrian Kalis: It’s all there in black and white. Now, I believe you have matches to commentate on. Don’t you?

Gordon gets up, as does Adrian. He offers a bitter salute to Larry as Larry walks out. Adrian chucks off his suit jacket and throws it against his chair, loosening his tie.

Adrian Kalis: My old man always said it’s smart to keep one loaded in the chamber…

Adrian smirks as we cut from him, and pyros explode all across the Bell Centre to commence the show.

Barbed Wire MASSACRE 2012: Puppet Edition

Ummm…in case you’re wondering what you’re seeing here, it’s nothing. Absolutely nothing. We do hear voices though. Tiny puppet voices.

PuppetLisa: Will you hurry up with that stupid camera?

PuppetTeresa: Win wins inner ns wins.

PuppetLiza: She says she’s working on it.

A growl. A chainsaw starting. Sounds of said chainsaw going through wood. A collision, static, and a very fuzzy picture of some felty (cottony?) in

a top hat. The scene is shaken like a snow globe and come to some sort of focus. Stupid shitty camera. Why must you make us abuse you.

PuppetLiza: Hello, everybody! Welcome to Barbed Wire Massacre.

PuppetLiza is violently pushed to the side. New puffy arms take hold as we are met by evil, evil button eyes.

PuppetLisa: Bonjour, you cheese eating surrender monkeys!

PuppetLiza: I thought the surrender monkies were from France.

PuppetLisa: Your cloth twat is from France!

A sniffle.

PuppetLiza: Is not!

The lens suddenly spins around to give us a glance into a rather small hospital room. Besides the fact that there’s no way in hell the Stilted Wonder could ever fit in here (but fuck your logic), it seems to be like any another germ factory. There’s two other bodies here. The one-eyed ghetto looking thing lies on a bed that seems to be made out of cardboard and the entrails of Lamb Chop. He’s hooked onto fifty different machines that beep, buzz, and purr for no reason whatsoever. Meanwhile, his current roommate glares with his own icey blue button eyes and would like to protest this expolitation of their plight…if PuppetLisa could only stop batting around what’s left of his knee caps.

PuppetLiza: You really should stop that, you know. It’s bad enough he may never walk again. You’re hindering what progress can be had.

And for the first time ever, your favorite non-human seems to listen. She actually stops hitting the first of a trillion Strader clones, walks towards the Kalis clone, and stabs his arms with a scalpel. To her dismay, there’s no responce.

PuppetLiza: PuppetLisa!

PuppetLisa: WHAT?! I have to do something. This boredom is killing me, so I should be killing someone else. Like…hey, where’s the PuppetDrake?

A wheelie bed dashes by yelling something like “gofindpixieandaskhimhowmuchofa–” before fading off into the background. Apparently, we care not for you timelines.

PuppetLisa: Get back here, you!

She also dashes away, presumably chasing the bed. The Magical one hands the camera over.

PuppetLiza: I have to stop her. Here. You can have this for a while.

Then she sneaks off leaving a rather clueless PuppetStrader to speak. He only has one plea.

PuppetStrader: Get us the hell out of here.

And out we go.

Championship Series 1: Barbed Wire Hoodie Ninjas Match!

Bubba J & Anna Mathews versus The Hoodie Ninjas

DING DING

Abbey Graves: The following match… Makes no sense! But let’s do it anyways! In the ring already! In this corner. The cute, the adorable, REBEL Pro Aggression Champion… ANNA MATHEWS!

Anna waves, and smiles, and waves again. The crowd here loves her. The signs proclaiming “Dat Ass” are not lost on her.

Abbey Graves: In this corner! The drunk! The ugly! Ragin Redneck! REBEL Pro’s World Champion… BUBBA J!

Bubba doesn’t seem appreciative of being called drunk. He hasn’t even started drinking. Though he grabs a few more biere froids which confuses him, damn fucking French Canadians.

Abbey Graves: Their opponents!

“Hoodie Ninjas” by MC Chris hits and the 12 Hoodie Ninjas scurry forward and all bum rush the ring.

Abbey Graves: THE HOODIE NINJAS!!!!!

DING DING DING

Larry Gordon: What a waste of our time.

Bubba slides out of the ring and rolls his eyes, chugging back the beers. The Ninjas all go for roundhouse kicks on Anna but she kicks them in the face with her own, and harder. They suddenly get terrified and drop.

Anna covers one of them.

1!

2!!

3!!!

Bubba J finishes his beers and burps.

Abbey Graves: Uhm… The winners of this match! Anna Mathews and Bubba J!

Linzi Martin: Brilliant!

Anna smiles and waves to her adoring fans, but Bubba J just gets through his eighth beer of the match with no care about it.

Linzi Martin: These two will meet later for the Aggression title. One of them is going to make history, Larry.

Larry Gordon: I don’t know which is worse.

Linzi Martin: I think you being a backstabbing cock sucker is worse.

Larry Gordon: Excuse me, little lady?

Linzi Martin: What? It’s true.

A Game of Stones

There’s a knock on the locker room door, and Adrian Kalis awaits no response before entering. He stomps, and salutes the man in the room.

Adrian Kalis: All Hail, brother.

Stone looks up as he finishes lacing his boots and salutes back.

Matt Stone: All Hail.

Stone crosses his arms and leans back, an inquisitive look on his face.

Matt Stone: The plans we made for tonight?

Adrian Kalis: It’s been set in stone.

Adrian lights the cigarette he had twirling earlier in the evening, and smirks. Matt rolls his eyes.

Adrian Kalis: Tonight, you and I destroy our enemy in one fatal blow and set the course right for REBEL Pro.

Matt Stone: Don’t worry, Liz is ready for her new role.

Adrian Kalis: Our new soldier is ready for his.

They seem like long lost friends, deviously scheming away.

Adrian Kalis: You know, a naked man has very few secrets.

Matt Stone: A flayed man has none?

They both laugh, those sick Canadian bastards, as we fade to ringside.

REBEL Pro Fecal Beagle Championship Barbed Wire Hangman Match

Jaice Wilds© versus Jack The Mackhammer©

The noose hangs down from the rafters, waiting to be used.

Abbey Graves: The following match is the Fecal Beagle title unification Hangman match! Introducing first.

“Animal” by Nickleback hits as Jaice Wilds steps out, thunderous cheers greeting him as he makes his way to the ring.

Abbey Graves: He is the Fecal Beagle Champion… JAICE WILDS!

Jack The Mackhammer comes running out as Jaice grabs a chair and slides into the ring.

Abbey Graves: And his opponent! Also the Fecal Beagle Champion… JACK THE MACKHAMMER!

DING DING

Mackhammer wastes no time yelling at Jaice, informing him he’s not walking out of here the loser. Jaice Wilds takes a seat on the steel chair he took from ringside and watches. Mackhammer grabs the barbed wire noose and pulls it around his neck, then tightens. He motions for someone to hoist it up. Jaice nods, impressed maybe? Probably not.

Larry Gordon: This is the kind of idiocy REBEL Pro has been reduced to since Kalis came.

1!

Linzi Martin: To be fair Larry, you introduced this title.

2!!

Jaice Wilds applauds.

3!!!

Larry Gordon: It was a gift, for Bobby Lee. It was never a real title, Linzi.

4!!!

Larry Gordon: Simon legitimized it, or tried to. But the AoWF never recognized it.

5!!!

Linzi Martin: Doesn’t matter, had sex.

6!!!

Mackhammer flails around, bleeding from his neck but smiling all the same.

7!!!

Larry Gordon: Excuse me?!

8!!!

Linzi Martin: Yeah!

9!!!

10!!!

DING DING DING

Abbey Graves: The winner of this match, JAICE WILDS! And UNDISPUTED Fecal Beagle Champion… JACK THE MACKHAMMER!

The noose lowers and Mackhammer falls to the canvas, loosening it up but happy all the same.

Abbey Graves: Sadly, as of this moment… The Fecal Beagle Championship has been retired.

Jack The Mackhammer has the saddest of panda looks on his face right now, in utter disbelief. He grabs the title and holds it close, the crowd cheers for him all the same. Jaice Wilds leaves and shrugs off all the wackiness. As he walks up the ramp Bobby Lee comes running out like a man on a mission. Bobby Lee slides into the ring and grabs the title out of Mackhammers hands. Jack screams in horror as Lee throws himself out of the ring and escapes through the crowd, wrapping the title around his head. It’s then we see two short, sickly things come running out from the back.

Linzi Martin: Are those aliens?

They look like two Gray Aliens from Zeti Reticuli, those who’ve been hunting Bobby Lee for years. But Bobby Lee, with a spotlight on him somewhere in the crowd shows he once again has the FB title protecting him. The aliens shriek and flee in horror. Jack The Mackhammer looks really confused right now.

Larry Gordon: My lord.

Linzi Martin: Yes, we are a professional wrestling organization.

The aliens do flips and other inane shit as they run back to their spaceship. Mackhammer rubs his bleeding neck and pouts.

Linzi Martin: And so ends the era of Fecal Beagle beer and their title. How sad for us all.

C’est Le Tapette

The camera opens up in the locker rooms, where Lucious Starr stands, inexplicably, by a vending machine. We watch as a few Canadians- *puke*- stroll past, watching as Lucious starts to down a Jones Cream Soda.

French Canadian Bastard: C’est Lucy Starr!! Tres incredible!!

Lucious Starr: Goddamn Canadians…

Lucious walks off, trying to lose the Canadians as we pan back to ringside.

Number One Contenders Trophy Battle Royal

Jack Spades vs. Reece Paxton vs. Umbra vs. Electra vs. Matt Stone vs. Virgil Keenan vs. Rocky Logan vs. Jacob Figgins

in the ring we have all the competitors already. Paxton, Figgins and Stone are all in one corner while the rest are spread out, keeping their backs to the ropes. The Order seems to be on the same page oddly regardless of words shared the previous weeks. They might be able to work as a team, for now. Everyone has their own brand of Barbed Wire, everyone except Matt Stone. There are several bats, but the most menacing one is in the hands of Virgil Keenan. Notable items are a Barbed wire gauntlet, wrapped tightly and intimidating around his hand and wrist. Reese holds in his hands about 3 feet worth of barbed wire, a whip perhaps.

Linzi Martin: “Well here we go, the Order looks to add the Number One Contender Trophy to their list of accolades”

Larry Gordon: “Yeah right, Virgil Keenan is ready to clean this up! The Order already made sure Justin couldn’t win this, they can’t stifle Keenan as well”

Linzi Martin: “We’ll see about that, All Hail!”

Right before the bell rings, someone is pushed down in the front row as someone hopes over the barricade. A chorus of cheers echo out of the crowd, alerting the members inside the ring to look out for merely a moment.

Linzi Martin: “Is that…?”

Larry Gordon: “Yes, it’s former Alliance Member Alexander O’Ryan! If he’s in this, I’m changing my pick!”

Ding Ding

Alexander Immediately makes a B-line for whoever is in front of him, blasting Jack spade over his head, crumbling him to the mat. Electra jumps on his back, locking in a sleeper, it stalls him for a moment before backward smashing her into the turnbuckle. She loosens her grip and with one more smash knocks her off. Steel chair still in hand Alex swings and connects with the top pad, electra dodging. O’ryan doesn’t get chance to keep his game focused as Figgins and Reese come in befrom behind, double teaming the man with orders echoing from Matt in the corner, avoiding conflict. Alex looses hold of his chair as Figgin’s and reese take turns beating down and whipping the man with their barbed wire.

Larry Gordon: “ Alex is taking a small beating here with the Order all over him!”

Linzi Martin: “The Order verbalized some trouble in the ranks over the weekend but it seems things are going alright for now.”

Virgil Keenan who at this time was fighting with Umbra gains an advantage, and drops Umbra with a DDT. Instead of breaking through and trying to eliminate the man, Keenan notices and see’s the double team effort on O’Ryan. Keenan takes a risk, taking his dropped bat and smashing it into Reese’s side, hitting the brunt of the back of the bat into Figgins’ gut. Alex gets to his feet and both men share a look. Double drop kick to the Order! Both men are to their feet and stare at Stone who has himself backed into a corner. Looking both ways he drops down and rolls through the bottom rope, getting to the outside. Keenan scoffs but isn’t given enough time to do much about it as Reese and Figgins’ both find their way to a vertical. O’Ryan and Keenan continue their momentary alliance, laying fists and elbows into their opponents. Figgy fights Virgil and finds himself with an advantage, chopping flesh away with his gauntlet hand. Reese has lost his wire and and resortsto more traditional battle, pushing Alex into the corner where he attempts to push him up and over. Matt Stone cheers them on from the outside.

Larry Gordon: “ Virgil and Alex have teamed up for what i can only imagine is a temporary alliance until the order has been taken out!”

Linzi Martin: “Jack Spade and Umbra are going at it in the background, Rocky and electra, and well.. Stone is hiding on the outside! Hell Funk Dog keeps running corner to corner keeping out of attention.”

Alex fights out of his situation with several elbow shots that staggers back the king of the north. O’Ryan uses his placement into the ring to fling himself from the top rope and cross bodies Reese with a SOLID move. Rolling through O’Ryan spurts to his feet, returning to favour to Virgil to had been backed into the ropes with a barbed wire steel chair to the back of Figgins. Figgy doesn’t go down but staggers, turning around into both Virgil and O’ryan grabbing him by the arm and neck, running along the ropes to the adjacent side, FLIN-no! Matt Stone from the outside grabs hold of Virgil’s foot, tripping him. Alex quickly looks back confused only to have Reese appear neck to him, and with him and FIggy combined, tosses him over the top rope!

Abby Graves: “ALEXANDER O’RYAN IS ELEMINATED!”

Larry Gordon:” O’Ryan is out! And he looks viciously pissed off!”

That he does, smashing his fists down on the announcer’s table. Virgil doesn’t look too impressed under his mask either, glaring at Stone who all but mocks him with his glare and smirk. Figgy and Reese seems proud of themselves eliminating a rather fresh wrestler. Alex gets escorted to the back, but he’s not happy about it. Amongst the commotion. Umbra leaps from the middle of nowhere with a bunch of wire, the one Reese had dropped, wrapping it around Virgil’s neck. Kennan immediately falls back, but the thumb wasn’t enough to shake him off as he is pressed into a rear Naked Choke, y’know… with barbed wire. The Order Ignore Keenan and go to work over Rocky Logan and Jack spade, leaving electra fighting funk dog . Virgil and Umbra roll on the mat as blood starts to seep from his neck, finally managing to get himself back to a vertical, repeating what Electra had done moment’s earlier. Umbra, being higher up, unloads himself on the top rope. Virgil gets away with the wire still around his neck, prying it away. Umbra leaps with an axe hammer only to get himself laid out with a counter jumping European uppercut.

Larry Gordon: “Virgil almost decapitated Umbra there with that European uppercut!”

Linzi martin: “ But Matt stays safe and sound outside the ring, he’s fresh and ready to go.”

Figgy and Reese both look a little annoyed at Matt taking the easy street in this battle royal, they don’t yet say anything. Umbra and Virgil are still fighting in the corner as Reese picks up Jack Spade and drops him down over Figgy’s knee, their time being taken up, but relatively cleaning house. Matt starts barking orders from the outside, seemingly directing their attention to Virgil Keenan, he wants him out now. Figgy and Reese kinda grunt before turning their heads towards the wrestler. Virgil Notices and whips Umbra towards them. The darker man flings himself into the air with a twirling cross body knocking both men down to their backs. Things aren’t over however as Virgil grasps the man from behind and Flings him over the top rope!

Abby Graves: “ UMBRA HAS BEEN ELIMINA-!”

Larry Gordon: “Oh god!”

SLAM, Umbra in a blind rage smacks the woman in the back of the head with nearby chair. She looks brutally out of it as she holds the back of her head! Ring side security and refs grab him by the arms and push him back, keeping him away from Graves who is being immediately tended to. Umbra keeps yelling he’s not out, he hasn’t been eliminated. The commotion on the outside hasn’t stopped the men inside as a slightly distracted Virgil gets himself toppled over and crushed by a German Suplex by Jacob Figgins. Reese and Jacob look like they are going to pick apart the former Aggression champion when Jack Spade and Electra, not impressed with their previous beatings lay into the two order members, giving Virgil breathing room as an unintended side effect.

Larry Gordon: “Poor Abby! What a monster!”

Linzi Martin: “I know right, who we gonna have announce the eliminations now?”

Linzi Martin: “What?”

Figgy and Reese get pushed back, Reese into the corner, Figgy into the adjacent ropes. Hells seems to break loose as Funy dog even brings the action to the table, picking the scraps of Virgil, who retreated to the corner. Pummeled into the ropes Figgy gets a little pissed when Stone yells at him for being a pussy. The comment urks him enough to grasp the woman’s hair and LAY A SERIES OF BARE KNEES INTO HER FACE! Electra looks like she has been murdered as she topples over in the center of the ring! Figgy gives Matt the middle finger and tells him to get his ass into the ring. Matt steps back biting his lip. Figgy scoffs and walks away, reaching into his trunks. He pulls out a barbed wire covered elbow pad. Loaded. With Hello kitty printed on it. The fans go absolutely berserk with Hello Kitty Chants! Figgy puts it on his non-barbed wired arm and taps it across the top rope pad. FUNK DOG DOES DOWN! ROCKY LOGAN GOES DOWN! JACK SPADE! ELECTRA IS PULLER TO HER FEEt, HELLO KITTY DOOM DOOM TRAIN TO THE OUTSIDE!~ KAWAII!~

Linzi Martin: “Uhh… Electra has.. been.. umm eliminated.”

The ring is empty of standing non-Order members as they all felt the wrath of cuteness. Reese and Figgins glance each other over and grab the nearest body being Jack Spade, prying him up against the ropes, looking to topple him to the outside. Only for Virgil Keenan to launch himself out of the opposite corner and grabbing , them all and lifting them up and over! REESE And FIGGY hold onto the outside dangling! Jack spade his the canvas outside being eliminated. Virgil keeps his speed with him, hitting the opposite ropes, heading back with a, COMBO BREAKER! Vrigl hits the mat hard and lays there as dead weight. Stone is finally in the match, And he Goes to eliminate REESE AND FIGGY! Jacob and Reese both counter, side stepping and letting Matt tumble backwards into the ring.

Larry Gordon: “Uh oh…”

Linzi Martin: “ This is where shit gets serious.”

Reese and Figgy step into the ring where Stone glares at them both and suddenly starts trying to talk his way out of the issue. Neither man have what it takes to deal with the bullshit and Matt can see it in his eyes. Matt Stone fires a right at Figgins, a right at Reese! Stone fights them both off for a moment until Reese and Figgy both get their feet back under them and they overwhelm their General. Virgil is still out of it and the Funk-dog Rocky logan combo seem to still be feeling the wrath of japan’s favourite elbow. Stone is tossed into the corner where Jacob runs up and slams his barbed wire gauntlet into Stone’s face! Reese follows up with a high foot. The beat down begins as Stone seems to begin bleeding. A low Blow! Another! Matt Stone drops down and out of the ring, tumbling out to the fan barricade. Figgy and Reese both hit the mat, rage fueling from their expressions.

Linzi martin: “Matt stone has played this match smart so far but it just seems like he’s pushed too many buttons with his team members.”

Gordon: “Getting to the outside at this point is not helping him right now. He’s made his move and it might have screwed him. Looks like he was gonna get himself rid of them, and toss a broken Virgil over the top.”

Jack spade is to hiss feet, having seen the damage, opts after Virgil instead, who still hasn’t done much moving since the Combo Breaker. Pulluing him to his feet by his head and trunks Spade goes to pick him up and toss him over the top rope, Only for the wrestler to push off the back of the clown. A shove forward and Spade hangs on the apron, Spinning off the ropes and one baseball slide later Virgil has eliminated spade!

Linzi martin: “Jack Spade has been eliminated!”

Rocky logan, funk dog, and both order members have found their feet while Virgil has slumped out of the ring. Figgy and Reese look to Matt but before they can do anything Logan and Funk have assaulted them from behind with barbed wire bats. They find it hard to defend themselves as they both get their chests bled in. Both members find themselves pummeled into different corners, and Matt can only smile as he rest just a little lo- SICK KICK! Virgil From the left and out of nowhere returns the favour, knocking Stone to the ground with a high boot. Back into the ring he goes. Stone rolls into the ring, with enough wits about him to grab a spool of wire and wrap his fist. Virgil, bleeding and battered follows him in and stalks him, looking to pry him off the mat. Falcon punch! The side of Virgil’s face is scraped and ripped as he stumbled back into the ropes, groggy.

Larry Gordon: “Matt Stone is finally in this thing and he’s throwing haymakers left and right.”

Attempting to toss Virgil out of the ring Stone charges with his barbed fist, knocking Virgil up and over and Elimina-No, Virgil catches the bottom rope and stays in. Stone presses his boot onto this hand trash talking as he does. Only for a barbed wire back to the side to get him off the elimination! Rocky logan and Funk have moved on from Reese and Figgy who are battered and beaten in opposite corners. They don’t seem to notice Virgil and continue a tag team beat down on the former PWA champ. Pushed into the ropes they pry a foot up and over. Matt starts pummeling rights into the foreheads but it doesn’t work out too much in his favour until they are both grasped and knocked over the top rope! Stone grasps the bottom rope and clings to in dear life as Paxton and Figgy wave to the fallen members.

Linzi Martin: “Funk dog and Rocky Logan have been eliminated!”

Larry Gordon: “the final 4, Virgil Vs… the Order.”

Linzi Martin: “Time for Virgil to put up or shut up.”

Virgil Has pulled himself into the ring, he watches Figgy and Reese argue amongst themselves as they debate tossing stone out right now, taking their eyes off the ring they forget about Virgil, and they accidentally allow Stone to roll back in. He gets up in their faces and demands they work together for now to be rid of Virgil before it’s too la- VIRGIL TOSSES FIGGY OUT OF THE RING! Matt stone and Reese nearly shit themselves as a blur of a bat and barbed wire fling by and nail Jacob out of the ring and to the matting outside! Matt stone and Reese do a guttural retort and attack the only non Order member left in the ring, knocking the bat out of his hand as they double team the masked wrestler.

Linzi Martin: “Jacob Figgins has been eliminated!”

Virgil fights back with fists, teeth, kicks, chops and every ounce of desperation he has left in his soul. Matt staggers back, Reese staggers back, Virgil has a spurt of success as he clobbers into both opponents! Counter! Rolling elbow! Virgil drops and holds his mask where the nose would be. Stone shakes himself off and the momentary weakness in the order is disappearing as both member stomp Virgil to mud in the middle of the ring. Figgy while eliminated and pissed off manages to collect himself for the greater of the order and toss the forgotten Barbed wire Chair into the ring. Stone collects it and smirks. Reese mounts the wrestler and proceeds to pummel elbows into the face of his opposition, Virgil seems rather motionless when Reese moves away and lets Stone javelin the chair down onto his gut. It’s a bloody beat down now as the barbed wire rips the stomach.

Larry Gordon: “Well, it looks like it’s down to stone and Reese.”

Stone makes the demand to pick the wrestler up and hold him steady. A sinister smirk grows over his face as a groggy and perhaps unconscious wrestler is deadlifted to his feet. SWING! SMASH! Busted wide open! Reese hits the mat! Virgil dodges and hits the ropes, a return and flying elbow! Stones down and the Chair goes tumbleing. Figgy looks worried on the outside, jumping to the apron, and being pulled back down by refs. Jacob is escorted to the back as Stone and Virgil return to their feet. Virgil staggers and stumbles into the ropes. He’s losing blood. Stone grabs the nearest weapon, Virgil’s own bat and rushes in, Virgil side steps, dumping Matt stone over! He catches himself on the top rope, grabbing Virgil with his feet! They are both on the apron! Teetering on defeat! Both men are hanging from the top rope, stumbling to get a flat foot on the apron. Stone get’s there first, hitting a swift kick to a hanging keenan. Virgil keeps on the

rope! Stone kicks the bullshit and bites the mother fucking life out of Virgil’s Finger!

Larry Gordon: “Stone is literally fighting tooth and nail for this!”

Linzi: “ Virgil’s got his footing!”

And that he does, grabbing Matt by his hair and choking him off the top rope! An elbow, and another free’s himself. Virgil steps back, As does mat, and as they do, they both catch in their peripheral Reese charging the two wrestlers! TAG TEAM HIP TOSS!

Linzi Martin: “REESE PAXTON IS ELIMINATED!”

Larry Gordon: “Holy shit, Virgil and Stone are the only men left in this! Virgil has almost defeated the Order!”

Linzi Martin: “It’s not over yet! Matt stone is still fighting, he’s got this in the bag!”

Virgil and Matt both look at each other and in unison make their escape back into the ring! Both men meet eyes once they’ve arrived, a pause for a moment as the fans roar in cheers, names being tossed in either direction. With that both men back up to their own corner. With a nod they both explode out, locking up! Stone makes a break to the behind, rear waist lock. Virgil switches it up, from behind he grabs both Stone’s arms from between his legs where he was trying to break the hold, flipping him onto his back. Hands are still intertwined as Stone rolls, crosses the arms and monkey flips the masked man onto his back. The arms are still locked! Stone untwirls the arms, bringing his opponent to a seated position, driving a knee into his back. Virgil feels his shoulders wrenched and pressed back. Fighting it off Virgil pushes himself to his feet with arms still locked, mule kick! Stone staggers back into the ropes, rolling along them till his hits the corner, refusing to have his back on the ropes. Virgil stands up and wipes his lip, charging the corner where Stone is. Stone dodges, only to have Virgil spring board off and land a twirling DD- Dropped onto the apron! Matt dumps the wrestler onto the apron, but his head is still caught. Elbows and fists don’t seem to assist him much as Virgil clenches the Front face lock in expertly. Virgil pulls him forward, he tries to suplex him over the top rope!

Larry Gordon: “Sweet jesus, can Matt Fight out of this!”

Linzi Martin: “ Stone is grabbing the top rope and won’t let go!”

Stone is teetering ont he top rope, but won’t let himself go over. Virgil changes tactics, stepping on the second rope, launching himself up and back down! Gullitean! Stone’s throat whips lashes off the top rope, giving Keenan a chance to roll back in. Capitalizing on the situation Virgil twirls stone around and gets a enzuguri for his efforts! Matt’s unable to immediately capitalize as he gasps for air, holding his neck, but primarily his throat. Virgil grabs the bottom rope trying to get back to his feet, he only manages his knees by the time a more pissed off Matt Stone appears with the coil of barbed wire again, whipping the wrestler across the chest. Keenan grasps his wound only to be whipped again. Turning back on Keenan tries to escape, another whip, another, and blood is seeping through small gashes. Stone gains a clear advantage until, during his escape attempts Virgil grabs the bat he brought into this fight, turning around to Stone who immediately backs off. Virgil uses the bat to stand, ready to use it at a moment’s notice. Stone wraps his fist again and side steps around the ring, agile and quick to dodge a few bat tosses that come his way. Virgil charges the corner and rips asunder the top pad, revealing the metal behind it. Stone connects with a cheap side jab that pushes Virgil into the corner, dropping the batt to the outside, another jab attempt and it connects, another, it connects, another and Virgil out straight roundhouse kicks Stone to the canvas.

Larry Gordon: “Each wrestler is fighting for this contender ship trophy like nothing else. Blood is littering the mat from people who have fought in this very match. “

Linzi: “Both wrestlers seem unable to let themselves be eliminated, it’s gonna come down so some serious hustle.”

Virgil runs at the ropes with Stone and tosses him over the top rope! Matt grabs on, though, staying on the apron. Virgil catches Matt with a straight right. Then a second one. Matt is leaning back, almost losing his balance. Keenan reels back for a third, but Stone quickly slides under the bottom rope and through Virgil’s legs. When Keenan turns around, he’s met with the C-c-c-c-combo Breaker! Keenan is propelled backwards, tipping on the ropes and Matt quickly reaches his hands out and pushes Virgil over the top and out of the ring!

Virgil Keenan Eliminated

Ding Ding

Stone lays back, holding his right arm high in the air as Sound of Madness plays throughout, Linzi jumping up

Linzi Martin: “Yes! He did it, Matt won!”

Larry Gordon: “He got lucky.

You Fucked Up

After the Battle Royale match, officials are out at ringside, doing some minor clean up and resetting the ring.

Umbra is walking in some darkened part of the backstage area of the arena, when he hears a faint voice.

???: “Hey there, stud.”

He stops for a second and turns around, and is immediately met face-to-face with ring announcer Abbey Graves.

Abbey: You fucked up, shadow boy.

And with that, a stiff chop across the chest shocks Umbra. Abbey then lands a fury of well placed kicks to the midsection, chest, and legs of Umbra, making him stumble backwards into the wall. She sends a few forearms into his masked face, and the camera picks up what he is saying as she lands these blows.

He fights back, pushing the smaller girl out of the corner, and landing a few shots of his own. Abbey falls to her ass, but pops up quickly with a surprise low blow. Umbra yells loudly, falling to his knees. Officials are in to break up the two, easily holding Abbey back.

Abbey: You put your hands on the wrong woman, you fucking twit. Next time I get my hands on you…..

She continues to yell as officials drag her away. Umbra gets to his feet, and tries to give chase, angrily shouting indistinguishable words. The officials hold him back, including Adrian who happened to be passing by. He finally steps back, and smirks.

Adrian Kalis: I smell a sexy time match… With, uh. You too Umbra.

If we could clearly see Umbra’s face, he’d probably show he’s none too happy with this.

Championship Series 2: REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Barbed Wire I Quit Match

Bubba J versus Anna Mathews©

“Love is All Around” or “Who Do You Love?” that is the question. Only one tune will cue the end of this Barbwire I Quit match that’ll decide the Aggression Championship. We’ve been waiting the entire night, let alone weeks to see Bubba J challenge Anna Mathews, and fucking hell are we rewarded exquisitely in blood and passion. Here’s the lowdown:

Linzi Martin: Jake Norton, welcome to the commentary table.

Jake Norton: Thank you! ^_^

Linzi Martin: What business do you have out here?

Jake Norton: Looking for a job as part of the booth, Lizzy. Can I call you Lizzy? Plus, I have a nice voice.

Linzi Martin: Something to compensate for your unfortunate mug.

Jake Norton: Let’s not get nasty. We’ve got Bubba J and Anna Mathews to do that for us!

Walking backward at a quick pace in a circular motion is Anna whilst Bubba follows like a southern hunter. Not long after three cycles does Bubba charge through the invisible path aiming for a takedown of sorts, but Anna’s flexibility unsurprisingly ruins the attempt by flipping completely over Bubba, seen in Anime and the like. Super-kick to the back of the neck staggers Bubba into the barbwire ropes, entrapping him via metal thorns piercing Bubba in the chest and right arm. Capitalizing, Anna rockets off the canvas to dropkick Bubba’s back, driving him further into the barbwire. As he moans, Anna tongues the inside corner of her lip while slightly squinting until deciding on something—

Jake Norton: NO

Linzi Martin: Diving cross-body!!

Jake Norton: THE ROPES BROKE! THEY’RE ENGULFED IN THE DEVIL’S VINES!

As the Cancerous one cried into his headset, Anna puts herself at risk to send both to the outside resulting no ropes (at least on this side of the ring) to keep them from falling out for the remainder of the match, if these two can even continue, that is. But who am I kidding? Anna’s reformation confirms this is only beginning, but blood seeps out of her arm, unless that’s Bubba’s mess. He’s not bleeding profusely but this isn’t an ideal start. Trying to untangle himself, Bubba also fights off mud stomping from the Lady of Batshit, but eventually goes mental himself and despite his pain, takes hold of Anna’s foot and pulls sharply, bringing Mathews onto her bum, which had barbwire to greet.

Jake Norton: Inhumane, that was.

Linzi Martin: Yes, but how else is Bubba suppose to get up?

Jake Norton: Aye, I wasn’t trying to build a case. Just stating the obvious!

Grimacing, Anna in retaliation kicks Bubba in the ribs as he gathers himself. Returning the favor, Bubba slugs the Dodo Queen with a slobber-producing punch to the chin, forcing her to smack against the concrete headfirst! Getting to his feet, finally, Bubba mounts a crawling Anna and decks the sides of her head with hard-hitting shots!

Jake Norton: Those hands belong to a 250 pound, 6 foot plus man who either desperately wants to become Champion of REBEL Pro or really despises cute quirky girls.

Linzi Martin: It began for the belts but I feel – as evident by the effort thus far – that heat is boiling between the two for the length each are willing to extend.

Jake Norton: Thankfully, I’ve never in my career had to wrestle in a barbwire match, but if I were either of these two, I’d try my damnedest to wrap this up quickly seeing how they still have to fight for the Heavyweight belt in a dog chain –

Linzi Martin: Clearly that’s what every wrestler would plan – unless you’re Bubba J who’s got a record so violent that it suggests he gets off on this, which is even worse for Anna – but remind yourself that this is an I Quit match. Do you honestly believe we’ll be finished shortly?

Regardless of Anna’s face being smashed against the guardrail at a vile rate; regardless of Bubba receiving a tilt-a-whirl spike DDT onto barbwire-slash-concrete; regardless of Bubba catapulting Anna into the ring post, then, with barbwire in hand, slides inside the ring to wrap said barbwire around both the post and a dazed Anna’s throat to choke her – applying more pressure by pushing both his feet against the turnbuckle that – I ain’t fucking exaggerating – nearly cause Anna’s eyes to bulge out of her teeny-bop head; regardless of Anna wrapping barbwire around her right boot to stomp a fucking hole into Bubba’s bathing suit area: neither competitor seem to have the intention of surrendering soon.

Jake Norton: Entering the twenty minute mark, Anna’s once beautiful face sports a crimson mask that will likely outrage feminists around the globe, and Bubba’s dick will probably need reattachment.

Linzi Martin: Both the Heavyweight Champion and the Aggression Champion slowly exchange shots, with Bubba relying on his bone-crushing fists while Anna depends on her nifty, stiffer than lumber kicks, blended with the occasional knife-edge chop.

Jake Norton: Blimey! Anna just chopped Bubba across the throat! That threw a wrench in the machine, didn’t it?

Linzi Martin: Springing from the apron, Anna follows with a somersault seated SENTON that–

Jake Norton: FUCK – LIZZY, ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!

A somersault seated senton brings Bubba spine-first against the commentator’s table, which remarkably didn’t break, but thoroughly ruins Bubba, and also, due to the table not breaking, Anna darted off Bubba’s shoulders for Linzi to eat 120 pounds of deadweight! With everyone laid out at ringside, except for Jake Norton who’s demanding medical assistance, naturally all in attendance roar giddily as if it were the best spot conceivable.

Jake Norton: Folks at home, I don’t know if you can hear me thanks to these marking fans, but my colleague is out-cold, Bubba is nursing himself, and Anna is clueless to what she just fucking did! Is this what REBEL Pro is like?! Should I expect mayhem like this weekly if I get hired?

With her hand on her head, as if it’ll stop the pain, Anna goes around the table to confront a rising Bubba. A knee to his ribs and an elbow to the spine kept Bubba at bay, and allowed Anna to shove the Georgian harshly beneath the bottom barbwire rope that clawed at his back. Entering the ring by other means (through the rope-less side), Anna, after several kicks to Bubba’s damaged back, takes a few steps backward to prepare herself. Dashing across the ring, Anna swings for a step up Enzu-

Jake Norton: GORE! GORE! GORE! Bubba J lays the Princess of Zany out with a Gore! Bubba countered with the great equalizer! With the Holy Ghost as my witness: Anna has been broken in half!

Both breathing heavily, drenched in blood, and at breaking point, once more, the iconic trade of punches commences. Seven hits later, Bubba knocks Anna silly with a uppercut, which is followed by a toe kick into a –

Jake Norton: STUNNER! STUNNER! BAH GAWD! BUBBA HIT THE STUNNER!

That he did! Anna goes flying backward into the turnbuckles, looking ever so brain-dead. Bubba looks like he’ll collapse at any moment, but he pushes forward. He charges into the turnbuckle, but,

Jake Norton: OH!! POSSUM PLAY!! TARANTULA! TARANTULA!

What the cockeyed British faggot means is Anna dodged Bubba’s attack by jumping over him, hooked her legs around his arms, draped over the top barbwire rope (ouch), and hooked her arms around both of his legs to secure the hold. With barbwire in-between them both and Anna’s constant jerking, Bubba suffers immense pain, as you would imagine.

Jake Norton: Usually the tarantula isn’t an ideal move to use for regular bouts because it disregards the rope-break, but here it’s perfectly legal! Bubba J has nowhere to go unless he can somehow find a—

Bubba J: GODDAMMITIQUITFUCK

Jake Norton: WELP – THERE YOU HAVE IT!

Coming Soon to an AoWF Near You!

The arena darkens, including the REBELTron.

Linzi Martin: The hell is this?

Larry Gordon: Canadians can’t pay their dang electricity bill. Especially here in French Canada. Too much poutine in the brain.

Suddenly, “Wait & Bleed” by Slipknot begins blasting through the speakers. The REBELTron begins to flicker as this image appears…

 

How the hell did I get here?
Something about this, is so very wrong.
I wish I didn’t like this…
is it a dream or a memory?

The image itself bleeds out from the REBELTron. The song stops, the lights turn back on…

Barbed Wire Tables Grudge Match

Jamie Shields versus Atticus Pike

Coming down the entrance ramp is Linzi Martin, who gets a lovely reaction, and is returning from backstage where officials had a doctor examine her for that nasty bump earlier in the Anna Mathews & Bubba J ‘I Quit’ match. Norton, of course, is still at ringside, so when she strolls toward the booth, he politely awaits her arrival to be seated and claps.

Jake Norton: How nice of you to rejoin us, Lizzy! I’m glad to see you’re okay.

Linzi Martin: …

Jake Norton: You are okay, yes?

Linzi Martin: Our next match pits Jamie Shields against PWA’s own Atticus Pike in a barbwire tables match. The difference between the regular and this special barbwire stipulation is in order to win: you must put your opponent through a table covered in barbwire. Which is why you see several of them setup along ringside but also a couple normal ones.

Jake Norton: That’s a bit complicated, isn’t it? Can’t win by simply putting a bloke through any but a specific table; though I suppose you must keep to the barbaric theme of the show, huh?

Shields and Pike: the showdown over worthwhile ambitions and healthy direction. Also an indication to who might survive another year, perhaps? Skipping the recyclable entrances, we’re gonna jump straight into the action because that’s all anyone cares about anyway. Pike, with a 6 inch advantage over the Brooklyn brawler, locks-up but Jamie being aware of Pike’s foremost technical background, knees Pike in the groin, scoops him up, displaying much power, walks a bit toward the barbwire ropes and slams him on top of them!! They each break as Pike falls through the three, hitting the apron with his upper back on the way down to the outside!

Jake Norton: That’s bloody two sides of the ring now without ropes! First came earlier in Anna vs. Bubba, and now we got this!?

Linzi Martin: That’s the uniqueness of this environment, Norton. Tonight’s surroundings provide an opportunity to cause utter devastation for your opponent, and mainly it’s how you go about it. Example being: this delayed scoop slam generally isn’t effective in anything other than temporarily robbing wind from its receiver, but in this peculiar case, the addition of barbwire and the apron took the effect to a whole other volume.

Revealing a trash can from beneath the ring; Jamie dumps its 32-gallons of moldy diary products onto Pike before throwing the Rubbermaid container at him, as well. “Eat up, stupid cripple!” Jamie insults while shoving rotten blueberry cheesecake muffin into Pike’s face. Searching for more garbage to use, Jamie is distracted long enough to take a low-blow from behind. Then, with his arm still against Jamie’s testies, Spike lifts him onto his back to drop for an Argentine Neckbreaker onto aforementioned trash can!

Jake Norton: Hercules Cutter!!

Linzi Martin: Resisting the urge to humiliate Shields, Pike opts out to bring an already setup non-barbwire table toward his hurt adversary.

Jake Norton: You’re half-right! Pike is spreading that bag of old homemade ricotta cheese across the table!

Linzi Martin: How did you know exactly what it was?

Jake Norton: That’s my trash can!

Once several forearms give Pike complete control over Shields, he hurriedly lifts Jamie overhead and switches into a vertical position to conclude in an awesome –

Jake Norton: OH REVERSAL!!

Linzi Martin: Sitout Facebuster through the table!!!?

Jake Norton: Why didn’t he just fucking transition into a DDT?! That likely hurt him more than it did Pike!

Linzi Martin: Let’s get a replay going. Okay, so Pike was going for a vertical suplex side slam, but just as Pike stalled, Jamie escapes and, fuck, look at how Jamie is pulling down Pike’s head! Combine that with a mouthful of wood and I’d say: no, Pike got fucked more so.

Unable to bear the pain, Pike curses up a storm as he slowly tries to stand. On the other hand, Shields is looking to wrap this up fast, as his literal ass-landing has put him off noticeably. But before he can drag a barbwire-covered table over to the site of previous table destruction, Pike rushes from his knees toward Shields and shoulder tackles him into the apron. Fans are shouting encouraging remarks at Pike in hopes of a capitalization, but that facebuster has boggled his mind some. It doesn’t take long for Shields to regain the offense by hammer-punching Pike repetitively on the head.

Jake Norton: Pike’s face reads thoughtlessness, Lizzy. Does REBEL exercise referee stoppage?

Linzi Martin: If it did, half of tonight’s show should’ve ended in stoppage for damn sure.

Shields doesn’t relent and he levels Pike down and out. Pike begins crawling away and uses the ropes to get himself to his feet. Shields comes in to finish him but out of no where Pike latches onto Shields, a torqueing DDT! CHAIRED! Pike falls onto Shields and covers.

1!

2!!

Shields puts his foot on the ropes, but the referee doesn’t see it!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Pike rolls out of the ring before the referee can even raise his hand. Shields sits up, rubbing his head and then shaking it when he realizes what happened.

Jake Norton: Did he just call the referee a gash?

Linzi Martin: Sounds like it! I can’t believe it, but Pike pulls off the win! Shields isn’t happy, and rightfully so. He had his foot on the ropes.

Jake Norton: I thought you rednecks had no rules, Lizzy?

Linzi Martin: Just a few, Jake!

Welcome Back

Adrian sits sifting through paper work at the General Managers desk, rubbing his eyes to stay awake, probably wondering why the fuck he’s doing any of it at all. Jeremy Gold meanwhile, polishes his nails with ten different colours.

Right, that’s right. Jeremy Gold is useless.

Jeremy Gold: So, which colour suits me Adrian?

Adrian pours himself a shot of Grey Goose, takes it, slamming the shot glass on the desk and sighing.

Adrian Kalis: The red, because I want to make you bleed right now. Why did my old man bring you into this position anyways? You don’t do shit.

Gold ponders it for a moment.

Jeremy Gold: He said something about using me as a human shield. But I’m like, Aaron! There’s no such thing as a human shield! Your dad’s so silly.

Adrian’s eyebrow cocks, and he nods. Seems legit.

Adrian Kalis: I’ll keep that in mind.

Knock. Knock. There’s a knock on the door, it seems. The door opens, but no one is there. But wait!

Lars: Hello, Adrian.

Adrian peers up from his paper work, a smile replacing his bitter look. The camera pans down, and we see a very, very short man with dirty blonde hair and a three piece Armani suit, made to fit.

Adrian Kalis: Lars Lombardi. Long time. I see you have…

Adrian rubs his head.

Lars: Hair. I know. Took a few years, but I grew it back.

Gold looks up, and he, for the first time EVER, has a menacing look on his face.

Jeremy Gold: Lombardi.

Lars clears his throat and nods.

Lars: Gold.

Adrian Kalis: Come, sit, sit. Have a drink with me. We’ve got a lot to discuss.

Lars: Yes, future of REBEL Pro and all that…

He pauses.

Lars: I do believe that tag team title match is commencing, hm?

Adrian Kalis: Yeah.

The camera crew takes their cue, and fucks off.

REBEL Pro Tag Team Championship Barbed Wire Cage Match

Flaming Nasties versus DrakeWolf©

As the referee calls all four men to the middle of the ring, we see Jeffery Drake speak.

Drake: You can’t run tonight Rob.

Phoenix: That’s funny Jeff. But it sounds like something I should tell you.

Phoenix kicks Drake in the side of his bad knee, causing him to go down on his knee. McNasty looks for a split second and is caught with a hard right hook to the head from Thunderwolf. Wolf throws a punch at the distracted Phoenix, who is stomping on Drake’s leg, but doesn’t connect as McNasty hooks his arm. Wolf looks back, and quickly spins to connect with another hook to McNasty. McNasty quickly shakes it off as he tackles Thunderwolf, and keeps running for the cage wall. Wolf thinks quick, and plants his feet hard. It only seems to slow McNasty down as he still inches Wolf’s back to the cage. Thunderwolf quickly clasps his hand, and slams a double axe handle down onto McNasty’s spine. McNasty grunts as he goes down to a knee. Wolf undoes McNasty’s arms, and quickly lifts a knee into McNasty’s face. McNasty crumbles to both knees as Wolf begins punching McNasty.

Meanwhile, Phoenix seems to be taking out weeks of frustration on Jeffery Drake. Phoenix already has drake’s leg looking worse than when he entered the match. Phoenix has a smug smirk on his face as he lifts his leg high, and brings it down straight towards Drake’s kneecap. Drake manages to catch Phoenix’s foot, and use him momentum to spin him. Phoenix stumbles towards the cage, but puts his hands on the ropes to regain his balance. Drake, still grounded, kicks Phoenix in the back of his knees; which puts Phoenix on his knees. As Phoenix climbs back to his feet, he turns to be met by Drake. Drake kicks him in the gut, and hooks him for the Hero’s Suplex. Drake lifts Phoenix up, and turns so they are both back to the cage wall.

McNasty has a bloodied lip from the brutal punches from Thunderwolf. McNasty is on his knees, spinning. T-Wolf pulls back, and goes for a brutal punch. However, McNasty catches the fist, and uses it to pull Thunderwolf in. McNasty hooks his head tightly under his arms. Then, he throws a leg back, before driving T-wolf’s face into the mat from three feet up with a brutal Implant DDT. McNasty rolls onto all fours, and turns to see Drake getting ready to lift Phoenix. McNasty almost scurries to move. As Drake turns his back to the cage, McNasty shoulder tackles his bad knee. The crowd groans, but not as much as when Drake falls backwards; still holding Phoenix. Phoenix’s back slams into the cage. And, as Drake falls, he lets go of Phoenix. This causes Phoenix to slide down the barb wire covered cage, back first, ending in a pile between the cage and ropes. You can hear women scream as Phoenix rolls back into the ring at lightning speed. He jumps to his feet from the adrenalin as we can see his back looks like someone took a cheese grater to it. Drake has backed himself into a corner as he adjusts the brace on his knee, which looks to be causing him great grief. McNasty eyes him, but Robinson quickly gets between them, and shoves McNasty away. Phoenix runs over to Drake and drags him up.

Thunderwolf collects himself and quickly returns to his feet, shaking off the effects of the DDT. As Phoenix shoves McNasty, Thunderwolf runs at McNasty, grabs the back of his head, and slams him to the mat with a face buster. Thunderwolf rolls off McNasty, and quickly hooks him in a camel clutch. With McNasty arms hooked on his legs, T-wolf sits back as far as he can. He then begins delivering elbows to the back of McNasty’s head.

In the opposite corner, Robinson lifts Drake’s leg, and steps over it before jumping and coming down on it. As they hit the mat, Phoenix twists Drake’s leg over his. Drake puts his hands on Phoenix’s mask, but Phoenix wrenches on the knee, twisting it. Drake lets go and strains backwards. Drakes had enough though as he finally clubs Phoenix in the back of the head. Phoenix doesn’t let go. Drake does it again, but still no give. Finally, Drake grabs the back of Phoenix’ head, and slams him face first into the mat. This stuns Phoenix enough for Drake to shove him off.

Meanwhile, Thunderwolf is trying to get McNasty to give. The ref asks McNasty if he will quit, but McNasty shakes no. One of his fists begins shaking, and McNasty frees his arm. Then, he frees the other. Thunderwolf abandons the camel clutch, and still sitting on McNasty, applies a rear naked choke. The ref is asking McNasty if he quits, but he shakes his head as he begins pushing up. McNasty gets to his knees, then begins to stand. One elbow to Wolf’s gut; followed by two more. Finally, McNasty slams his head back into Wolf’s face, grabs him around the neck, and drops down for a jaw breaker. Thunderwolf stumbles backwards as McNasty turns on a dime. McNasty runs up to Thunderwolf, grabs him by the neck and shoulder, and spins him before throwing him up and over the ropes into the barb wire cage. The fans let out a groan as he bounces off, still landing on his feet. McNasty, seeing an opening, runs at Thunderwolf for the Lights out! But, Wolf ducks the forearm, causing McNasty to screech to a halt in front of the cage wall. However, Thunderwolf grabs him by the shirt, and begins pressing him towards the cage. McNasty plants his boots, and grabs the top rope, as he tries to resist.

Drake has pulled himself back up. He looks to be having an incredibly hard time supporting himself as he pulls Phoenix to his feet while balancing on one leg. Drake yells to Wolf, and seems to point at McNasty. Wolf nods as Drake uses all his strength to whip Phoenix towards Thunderwolf. Wolf moves at the last second, causing Phoenix to slam into the back of McNasty. With all the momentum, McNasty eats the barb wire. McNasty’s body twists as he falls to the mat. Thunderwolf meanwhile clotheslines the rebounding Phoenix. Drake hollers that he has something special for Phoenix, so Wolf shrugs, and turns back to McNasty. McNasty lies in a growing puddle of blood around his head. Thunderwolf bends over and grabs a handful of hair. He pulls McNasty up to his knees, and locks in a sleeper. The blood is oozing from McNasty’s face.

Drake has hobbled over to Robinson. He bends over and grabs Robinson’s head, but Robinson surprises him by springing up just enough to have Drake hunched over him. Robinson slams his arm into the back of Drake’s knee. The fans go nuts as Robinson rises, Drake over his shoulders. Thunderwolf sees this, and lets McNasty drop, as he runs over and kicks Robinson’s leg out. Robinson doesn’t know what hit him as he falls back, Drake landing on top of him. Drake quickly rolls on Robinson, and hooks in the Miser’s Grasp! McNasty looks up, but as he pushes himself up, and springs forward towards Drake…Thunderwolf catches him in the side of the face with a boot. Drake lets the hold go when he realizes Phoenix just won’t tap out. Thunderwolf is at it with McNasty, but McNasty catches him with SAULT SLAM! Drake with The Hero’s Suplex on Phoenix! They both pin!

1! 1!

Linzi Martin: OH GOD I THINK THE REFEREE ONLY SEES DRAKE PINNING PHOENIX!

2! 2!

Larry Gordon: Awww, how sad for Mark.

3! 3!

McNasty gets off of Thunderwolf, feeling triumphant but then sees the referee raising Drake’s arm.

Maya: Here are your winners, AND STILL, REBEL PRO TAG CHAMPIONS, JEFFERY DRAKE, AND THUNDERWOLF!

The ref hands them their belts as they collect themselves, and leave the cage. McNasty begins to argue with the referee, but it doesn’t matter. The decision has been made. Phoenix is up and holding his head as he looks around. McNasty rushes Phoenix and clotheslines him to the canvas.

Linzi Martin: Oh snap! Who’s The Man?! Starts early!

McNasty climbs to the top rope and flies off! MALICIOUS INTENT!!!! MALICIOUS INTENT ON THE PHOENIX!!!

Larry Gordon: Wouldn’t want to be Phoenix right now.

McNasty exits the cage and motions for a belt around his waist, and receives great applause from the crowd here in Montreal.

Championship Series Final: REBEL Pro World Championship Barbed Wire Dog Chain Match

Anna Mathews versus Bubba J©

DING DING

Maya: Yeah!!!! HI! The next match is schedueled for ONE fall dicks and tits. Introducing the challenger!!!

Right off the bat, we get an unexpected surprise via Joan Jett vocals.

Who can turn the world on with a smile?

Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?

Multicolored spotlights flash towards the curtain as the answer to those enternal questions springs on thru dressed as a Dada-styled Mary Tyler Moore. Streamers and baloons and fifty dollar bils are raining from the sky, leaving the crowd with no alternative but to blow the roof of the building.

Well, it’s you, girl and you should know it

Peach fuzz in every little movement

Heavy duty fireworks go boom. And Anna grins, squeals, bearly even looking at the ring.

You show that love is all around

No need to fake it

You can have the town

Why don’t you take it

You’re gonna make it after all

She bounces and twirls down the ramp, nearly falling down a few times from getting too dizzy.

How will you make it on your own?

This world is awfully big

And girl, this time, you’re all alone

A speedy pre-victory hand-slapping lap around the ring. Tee-hee. Pre-Victory. Followed by a baseball slide inside the ropes.

Well, it’s time you started livin’

It’s time you let someone else do some givin’

The Queen of the Dodos pops up, arms outstreched, blowing kisses, her big musical ta-da moment. Everybody has one of those, right?

Love is all around

No need to fake it

You can have the town

Why don’t you take it

You’re gonna make it after all

The hat is thrown up in the air. And thus ends perhaps the shortest full song entrance known at a flat minute. Maya stops being mesmerized for a second and snaps out of it.

Maya: She is the Victory Wrestling Car Crash Television Champion, the REBEL Pro Aggression Champion, one half of the PWA World Tag Team Champions and one half of the Alliance of Wrestling Federations World Tag Team Champions… SHE IS ANNNNNAAAAAA SEXXY AS FUCK MATHEWS!!!! YEAAAAAAH!

It’s at this moment everyone notices that behind the pomp & circumstance (No Woodo) of the entrance, Anna Mathews is still pretty torn up from her successful defense of the Aggression title earlier.

Larry Gordon: Does this woman even need any more titles? Why is she even in this match? And how much did she have to pay that mini Simon for this shot?

Linzi Martin: God I miss Norton now. Ugh. Just fuck off and die Larry. Fuck off. And die.

Maya: And THE CHAMPION!

The chorus of Saliva’s “Badass” hits up in the speakers and the Rebel-tron stays pictureless.

“Cause I’m a badass

And you don’t want to clash

Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash

Cause I’m a badass

And this war is your last

You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast”

The song transitions to the first verse.

“I need you to hear this loud and clear”

As the first lyric begins to play from Saliva’s “Badass”, Bubba J walks from the back and stares out to the crowd, his fists wrapped in tape and then dipped in broken glass.

“The line and the sand is drawn and I have no fear

When I see red all I need is a reason to set me off

To drop this bomb and pick yourself off the ground”

He slowly begins to walk down the ramp, just staring into the ring, in his own “zone” he pays very little attention to anything surrounding him. No fireworks, nothing spectacular, nothing flashy; just music and him walking.

JENNY JERSEY: From Durham, North Carolina; he stands at six feet and two inches while weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds… “The Ragin’ Redneck” Bubba J!

Bubba J steps up the ring steps before climbing through the ropes. Bubba J then steps over to his corner, facing the entrance ramp and waiting on the damn match to begin.

“Cause I’m a badass

And you don’t want to clash

Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash

Cause I’m a badass

And this war is your last

You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast.”

Maya: Mmmmmm…

Maya dazes off for a moment, then snaps out of it.

Maya: RIGHT! Your REBEL Pro WORLD CHAMPION!!!! BUBBA “LET ME SUCK YOUR DICK BABY” J!!!!!

Bubba cocks an eyebrow as he looks at Maya, who throws him a wink. Bubba and Anna both show signs of wear and tear now. They get tied together by the referees, the chains of barbed wire wrap tight around their neck and connect them both. Anna and Bubba flinch as the chains tighten, but both wear thick gloves so their hands won’t get cut up constantly.

Linzi Martin: This won’t last long I bet.

DING DING DING

Bubba yanks the chain forward, the barbs sinking their teeth into Anna’s neck. Anna flies forward towards Bubba J who clotheslines her hard to the canvas. He wraps the barbed wire up in his hands and then wraps it around Anna Mathews’ waist. He pulls back, placing his foot down over her spine and putting her into a barbed wire variation of a surfboard stretch. Bubba is out for vengeance but Anna refuses to quit, even as the barbs sink into her stomach.

Larry Gordon: I don’t know who I want to die more.

Linzi Martin: Yourself?

Anna Mathews squirms and tries to get herself out of the predicament she now finds herself in. Clearly Bubba J is going unorthodox but he decides to start stomping down on her back. He flips her over and with the barbed wire still wrapped around her waist he starts stomping her chest and stomach to further rip the barbs into her flesh. Anna Mathews kicks Bubba in the shin. Bubba falls back, she yanks the chain now and takes him down to the canvas with her. She grabs onto the chain and wraps it around her fists and begins pounding Bubba’s face in until it’s all bloodied and gooey like a fresh period. Anna throws herself onto Bubba for the first pinfall attempt.

1!

2!!

KICK OUT! Bubba kicks out!

Anna rolls away from him and gasps for air, the barbed wire dog chain choking her. Bubba grasps his neck with one hand while wiping away the blood from his face with the other. Both competitors are barely moving.

Larry Gordon: They’re already dead, what’s the point of this match? Stupid booking.

Linzi Martin: I think the point is to see who’s less dead than the other.

Anna gets to her feet first but Bubba J yanks the chain. She grabs it and puts her feet down hard to stop the choke and begins yanking back, but in this tug of war on brute strength only one can win. And it’s the big drunk guy. Bubba pulls Anna towards him and then rolls her up!

1!

Bubba pulls on her tights!

2!!

3!!!

Linzi Martin: WHAT?!

NO!!!! ANNA KICKS OUT AT THE LAST SECOND YOU GOT TROLLED LOLOLOLOL

Larry Gordon: Bubba within a hair of retaining. I wonder if all this match will be is back and forth pins until one of them chokes on their own blood.

Anna Mathews gets back to her feet and hits a somersault flip on Bubba. Bubba yanks the chain and pulls her down to the canvas, gets to his feet and begins stomping down on her face all over again, then her back as she curls up to protect herself from as much damage as possible. Bubba stomps her lower back, literally attempting to kick the shit out of here. Bubba yanks her by the chain right back up to her feet and then lays her the fuck out with a spinebuster. Bubba J holds her head, and takes the chain and begins wrapping more of it around her neck. He then yanks it, tightening all that barbed wire and steel around her neck.

Linzi Martin: Bubba isn’t trying to win a wrestling match. He’s just trying to kill her.

Larry Gordon: Bubba never tries to win matches. He just tries to hurt people, and if he manages to hurt them more than they hurt him, well he wins.

Half the crowd cheers for Bubba, half the crowd cheers for Anna. Bubba J, his blood dripping down onto Anna is trying to ensure she passes out. Anna’s eyes seemingly begin to pop as she kicks, blood from the cuts in her neck coming on strong now, almost dangerously now. She makes one last ditch effort and focuses those kicks into Bubba J, one, two, three, four! Finally Bubba relents and falls back. Anna GASPS for air as she crawls away, unwrapping the barbed wire from her neck. Bubba is on all fours, the blood coming from him too. The ring is stained with their blood, mixed with the blood from everyone who’s competed all night.

Linzi Martin: When one splash of blood dries, we add some fresh blood.

Anna Mathews gets to her feet, barely. Bubba turns around and comes for her. He kicks her in the gut, spins around, grabs her by the neck… TRAILER PARK TRASH!

NO! Anna squirms out before Bubba can drop, instead she hits the BOOMERFLY KICK!!! The crowd goes NUTS! Anna Mathews collapses on Bubba J.

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Linzi Martin: BAH GAWWWWWWD!!!!

Maya: HEY! VAGINA RUNS REBEL PRO AGAIN!

Maya gets yelled at.

Maya: RIGHT! The winner of this match, and NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW REBEL PRO WORLD CHAMPION…. ANNNNNNAAAAAAAA MATHEEEEEEEEEWSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

The referee drapes the title over Anna, and the officials begin removing the dog chains from both competitors. EMT’s come rushing out now, and place both of them on stretchers. But from the stretcher, Anna Mathews hoists the REBEL Pro World Championship up to the cheers of the crowd. Bubba looks to her and nods respectfully, and the crowd gives both of them a standing ovation.

Larry Gordon: Disgusting.

Linzi Martin: U Jelly?

The Civil War of REBEL Pro Part 3

Linzi Martin: And so now Anna Mathews is both REBEL Pro World and Aggression Champion. A first, isn’t it Larry?

Gordon removes his headset and gets up to leave.

Linzi Martin: Uhhhh…. Larry?

Gordon enters the ring to a chorus of boos. Unimpressed, he asks for a microphone.

Larry Gordon: Adrian! Get your yellow bellied ass out here.

Without much delay, The Order of Chaos’ Worldwide theme “Indestructible” hits and out steps a grinning Matt Stone, side by side with Adrian Kalis. The two Generals make their way to the ring and slide in. Adrian looks at Matt and they both nod to each other.

Larry Gordon: Do you honestly think I will let you take REBEL Pro away from me? That I don’t have a plan, boy? You think I didn’t come prepared for this?

“After The Flesh” hits and the crowd rises in surprise. Fley walks out from amongst the crowd, a knowing smirk on his face. Stone and Adrian take a cautious step back, surveying the arena.

Linzi Martin: We all know the Masters are like wolves. When you see the first one, you know you’re already surrounded.

Adrian rips the microphone from Gordon’s hands as Fley gets into the ring.

Adrian Kalis: This debate was over before it began, Gordon. I am taking full control of REBEL Pro. I have even made a compromise.

Gordon gets his own microphone, Fley pats him on the shoulder.

Larry Gordon: What’s that?

Adrian Kalis: I’m splitting REBEL Pro in half.

The crowd gasps, as Adrian reaches into the breast pocket of his suit carefully. He hands a dossier over to Gordon.

Adrian Kalis: All you need to do is sign it. You’ll be pleased to know, that, as a compromise, neither you nor I will be running REBEL Pro. This task will fall to two objective parties.

Gordon looks at Fley, as

Stone looks at Adrian.

Linzi Martin: Everyone’s scheming right now.

Larry Gordon: This splits the roster itself?

Gordon flips through the dossier.

Larry Gordon: REBEL Pro… Havok?

Adrian Kalis: We purchased the rights to the BWF shows. All we need is your signature, Gordon.

Gordon laughs.

Larry Gordon: You honestly think I’m going to sign this? Without having a lawyer look it over?

Stone and Adrian nod.

Adrian Kalis: Uh. Yeah. I do. My old man taught me one thing early on Larry.

Kalis smiles, turning his attention to Fley.

Adrian Kalis: Something my dear friend, “The Straight Shooter” Matt Stone knows about as well. Always keep one loaded in the Chamber.

Stone leans back, smirking as he tilts his head to the left. He makes his hand into a gun and fires at Fley. Fley doesn’t seem all that impressed by it, until we see a figure emerge from the crowd. He seems tall and slender, no one recognizes him. Fley turns around, as this man enters the ring.

Adrian Kalis: Chamber, ladies and gentlemen.

Adrian smiles.

Adrian Kalis: Isn’t he a peach?

Adrian points to Fley as Chamber gets on the top rope, Adrian leaps forward and grabs Larry Gordon by the waist, and flips him backwards, dropping, as Stone catches Gordon and breaks him with the C-C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER!!!! Fley looks at Gordon then back up at Chamber who brings a high knee strike to Fley’s face. Fley bounces off the canvas and that’s when Jeremy Gold slides out from under the ring, new found bravery following a win in a Victory Wrestling ring, with a barbed wire baseball bat. He throws it to Adrian and backs away. The entrance ramp ignites with a wall of flames as Gold pulls out special equipment from under the ring, surrounding the ring with the pyro of fire. It ignites as Gold flees.

Linzi Martin: This Chamber dude does NOT fuck around! And he’s kinda cute too!

Adrian Kalis: The flames make sure no Masters get any idea of interfering with this.

Fley looks down at Gordon as Stone drags the REBEL Pro President to the center of the ring. Chamber stands waiting for the next move. Fley holds onto the ropes, rubbing his jaw and looks up defiantly. All of the men have sweat trickling down their faces from the heat of the flames that surround the ring. The crowd in Montreal is all on their feet.

Adrian Kalis: It’s like, you know… The Drakeman had some kind words of advice for me during RP3T.

Adrian holds the barbed wire bat up before his face, looking it over carefully.

Adrian Kalis: The Order wouldn’t be able to defeat the Masters in a game of tit for tat. And while we enjoyed playing that game with you, seeing some of our people murdered… Violet Harper. Simon Kalis. Scott Nash Strader.

He swings the bat around. Fley gets to his feet and steps forward. Chamber watches him carefully as Stone steps up. Stone at one side, Chamber at the other, and Adrian before him.

Adrian Kalis: The Drakeman said I had to… Cut the head off the snake, I think. Some philosophical shit like that, he’s pretty old and creepy. So here we are Fley. Just over a month after the Masters thought they struck a fatal blow to the Order of Chaos. Yet here we are. In the heart of OoC country.

The crowd is thunderous with cheers, although there are quite a few boos from a large contingent of Masters of Armageddon fans. There’s a brawl in the front row which is quickly broken up, however. Fley remains fearless in the face of these odds.

Adrian Kalis: Our flag still waves.

Adrian points to the REBELTron, and the Order flags that flank it.

Adrian Kalis: Under the leadership of Matt Stone and myself, The Order of Chaos pressed the war to your door step Fley. And before you knew it? The Masters quieted. The storm calmed, the waves lapping at the shores of your arrogance subsided… And all we were left with was the reminder that when it comes to being good WRESTLERS… The Masters failed. Instead you hired cowards like Starr. Emo’s like Johnny Chaos.

Some fan at ringside marks the fuck out for Johnny Chaos. What an ass.

Adrian Kalis: Just when you thought your reign so assured, your dominance so… Set. In.

Matt Stone rolls his eyes.

Adrian Kalis: Stone.

Kalis nods.

Adrian Kalis: Here we are. There will be no mercy for you Fley. Not now. The Masters of Armageddon will suffer their fatal blow. Now. Here. Tonight. In REBEL fucking Pro…

Adrian pauses, then looks at Chamber.

Adrian Kalis: Chamber? Matt? Shall we?

Fley puts his guard up but Adrian leaps forward and sends out an elbow strike across his jaw, cracking him as Stone comes in with a left hook. Fley stumbles towards Chamber who has an angle kick ready for him, his shin connecting to Fley’s head. Adrian with a thrust kick, Stone with a clothesline, Chamber stomps on his head. Adrian and Matt seem quite impressed with Chamber. Adrian lifts Fley up by the neck and throws him into Chamber. Chamber with an elbow uppercut, and Fley stumbles into Adrian once more. But this time Fley drops back with his own elbow, cracking Adrian in the face. Fley reaches for Adrian’s barbed wire bat and a struggle ensues. Stone rushes forward but Gordon from his knees low blows Matt in a last ditch effort to stave off the attack. Chamber stands by, watching it all unfold. The Masters of Armageddon fans in the crowd are getting restless; one of them jumps the barricade but immediately gets tackled by a security guard. Chamber observes it all, as Fley manages to get the bat out of Adrian’s grasp and Stone clutches his groin in sudden pain.

Linzi Martin: The hell is going on?! I’m pretty sure this is where you step in and lay Fley out, Chamber!

Gordon is yelling to a ring crew member outside of the ring and this crew member heads back to the announcers table. Matt Stone has regained composure and grabs Larry Gordon by the face and pushes him into the corner. This crew member however shoves Linzi Martin out of the way and reaches under the announcers table and pulls out a six foot metal pole.

Linzi Martin: Oh you son of a bitch. That’s The Machine!

Adrian wraps his legs around Fley’s waist and his arms around Fley’s neck, trying to choke him out. Adrian yells at Chamber to step in, Chamber coldly observes without a word. In comes The Machine as Fley bashes Adrian backwards over the head with his own barbed wire baseball bat. Adrian releases the hold on Fley, and Fley drops the stupid bat for The Machine. He gets to his feet and swings at Stone, but Stone ducks. Gordon tackles Stone but Stone quickly gets Gordon off him, Larry having no chance against the Straight Shooter. Fley swings The Machine at Adrian and cracks him in the ribs. Adrian keels forward but grabs his barbed wire bat. Fley brings down The Machine over the back of Adrian’s head, putting him to his knees. Adrian from his knees swings and catches Fley in the leg, his barbed wire bat tearing Fley’s pants and flesh. Fley drops The Machine and falls to one knee holding his leg. Matt Stone comes up on him and hits Kneel Before Zod!

Linzi Martin: YEAH!

Adrian gets to his feet and cusses out Chamber, but Chamber doesn’t seem really bothered by Adrian’s words. Stone pulls handcuffs out and cuffs Fley’s hands behind his back. The crowd can sense what’s coming, and now Masters of Armageddon fans begin throwing garbage at the ring through the flames. Adrian gives an order to Chamber, Stone accentuates said order, but Chamber ignores them both. The Generals decide to ignore Chamber for now. Adrian picks the microphone back up.

Adrian Kalis: Did you realize who you were fucking with at Birthday Bash, Fley?! Did you think The Order would bow to you? Did you think we’d be destroyed by you?! Did you think cutting off our head would collapse us? Take a look.

Adrian points to Stone, then back to himself.

Adrian Kalis: Cut off one head, two more grow back in its place. Start the feed.

The REBELTron lights up, and we now go to a live view inside Montreal General Hospital a few blocks away. Simon Kalis remains comatose, tubes feeding him through his nose. Scott Nash Strader shares the room with him.

Adrian Kalis: Hey grandpa!

Adrian smirks, Scott scoffs. Stone keeps an eye keenly on Chamber for any sudden movements. Stone borrows the microphone from Adrian.

Matt Stone: Behold, Alex Faust. All he does is die.

Adrian places the edge of his barbed wire bat on Fley’s left shoulder, taking aim. Fley remains cold, no fear in his deep blue eyes.

Adrian Kalis: All Hail The King.

Adrian cocks the bat back, and then puts his weight behind the strike and cracks Fley viciously across the head. Fley hits the canvas, flesh tearing from the side of his face and blood gushing out. Adrian orders Chamber to lift Fley back up, but again, Chamber remains silent and ignores the commands. Adrian grunts, grabbing Fley by the neck and hoisting him back up to his knees. Fley wasn’t totally knocked out by the first strike, he looks up at Adrian and says something inaudible but it seems to get under Adrian’s skin. SNS applauds the strike from his hospital bed however, still relegated to bed and a wheelchair after his legs were broken.

Linzi Martin: Fley has this coming but… I don’t think I can watch.

Matt Stone knees Fley in the chest in one final act of disrespect before Adrian puts the bat on Fley’s right shoulder. Larry Gordon sits in a corner, watching it all fall apart. He looks through the dossier on REBEL Pro’s split that Adrian gave him, ignoring the violence. Adrian nods to his new best friend Stone and cocks the bat back.

SNS: Simon! Simon! Wake up!

On the REBELTron, we see Strader pull out a long stick and poke Simon.

SNS: You’re missing the best part.

Nurse: Mr. Strader! How many times have we told you not to poke Mr. Kalis?

The nurse grabs the stick from SNS.

SNS: Awww.

Matt Stone: ALL HAIL!

Adrian swings again, and this time Fley hits the canvas, bleeding all over his face, unconscious. There’s a few moments of convulsion before he stops moving. The crowds cheers are thunderous, but those loyal few to Fley boo loud enough that their dissent can be heard. Adrian now turns his attention to Chamber and orders him to grab Gordon. Chamber scoffs, ignores Adrian and steps right out of the ring. The fires surrounding the ring cease momentarily, allowing Chamber to leave before reigniting themselves. Adrian scoffs and yells at Chamber to get back but Chamber is oblivious to the young Kalis’ call, disappearing back through the crowd. Stone grabs Adrian by the shoulder and shakes his head.

Linzi Martin: That Chamber guy isn’t in The Order then? How confusing. And is Fley technically dead? This just adds to the image REBEL Pro has as the place to, in our Charming new World Champions words, murdernate people. Adrian grabs Larry Gordon and lifts him up, flipping through to the last page on the REBEL Pro document.

Adrian Kalis: Sign it, Larry. Sign it or end up like Fley over there. Do you really want that?

SNS laughs, particularly enjoying Gordon’s predicament. Simon Kalis remains dead, as it were.

Matt Stone: Just do it Larry, and you can walk out of this ring instead of on a stretcher.

Adrian lifts a pen out of Gordon’s suit breast pocket and hands it to him.

Adrian Kalis: Initial here, here and sign there and it’s done.

Gordon looks around, as if waiting for back up from The Masters of Armageddon, but they’re not coming. Gordon’s hands shake as he begins signing the papers. Gordon closes the dossier and hands it back to Adrian. Kalis looks at Stone and smiles.

Adrian Kalis: REBEL Pro will never be the same again, will it?

The flames at the entrance ramp now cease as well and The Order of Chaos pours out. Jacob Figgins, Duff Cote d’Ivoire, David Slayton, The Cowgirls from Hell, Jaice Wilds, Bubba J, Jethro Hayes and Reece Paxton. All pour out and get into the ring. Adrian lifts Gordon up and throws him out of the ring for good measure. Fley remains motionless in the center of the ring, but Stone and Adrian look out into the crowd, aware of the monster Chamber is somewhere out there. “Indestructible” hits once more as The Order of Chaos offers a final salute to the crowd, SNS joining in from his hospital room.

Linzi Martin: Poor Fley, he’s all dead.

We fade to one last shot of the bloody Fley…

QUICK RESULTS

Bubba J & Anna Mathews defeats The Hoodie Ninjas
Jaice Wilds defeats Jack The Mackammer, Jack becomes Undisputed FB Champ. Title retired.
Anna Mathews defeats Bubba J, retaining the RPW Aggression Championship
Matt Stone wins the Number One Contendership Trophy Battle Royale
Atticus Pike defeats Jamie Shields
DrakeWolf defeat Flaming Nasties to retain the RPW Tag Team Titles.
Anna Mathews defeats Bubba J to become the new REBEL Pro World Champion

The Civil War of REBEL Pro Part 1

As the pyro’s pop down, the crowd in the REBEL Arena here in Raleigh go NUTS!

Linzi Martin: This is Linzi Martin.

Larry Gordon: And Larry Gordon.

Martin sighs.

Linzi Martin: And we’re here, LIVE from Raleigh, North Carolina at The REBEL Arena for-

Before she can continue, “Seven Devils” by Florence & The Machines hits. The crowd jumps to their feet as Masakazu comes running out onto the stage, not in a suit, but in his Order of Chaos military garb. He leaps into the air and lands in a fighting stance center stage, and flames shoot up all around him.

Linzi Martin: Run, Larry. Run. You stupid fuck.

Larry Gordon: He won’t hit me.

Abbey Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honour to introduce the REBEL Pro General Manager… ADRIAN KALIS!

Masakazu slaps the hands of the fans at ringside as he makes a swift pace towards the ring. He slides in and bows before Abbey Graves, taking the microphone from her hands.

Masakazu: LAAAAAARRY WHOREDON!

The crowd laughs, Gordon does not seem too amused.

Masakazu: How’s the heart feeling? You know, the heart paid for in Kalis money?

Masakazu leans over the ropes, facing Gordon.

Masakazu: How’s the life you’ve got? You know, the life you’re privileged to live because of what my family has done for you?

Larry Gordon: That was Simon, not you.

Masakazu: See folks, I’ve been tirelessly working with a crack team of the finest lawyers of Jewish descent money can buy. Now I realize that I have control over 49% of REBEL Pro. That gives you majority control, still. But what you didn’t count on was that this is far from a solid control over REBEL Pro, Larry. So. I’ve come with an ultimatum.

Masakazu reaches to his inside pocket and hands Abbey Graves an envelope. He instructs her to bring it to Larry. She does, and Larry quickly opens it up.

Masakazu: You’ve got two weeks, Larry. And at Barbed Wire Massacre I will take what is mine, it all depends on how much I take. And that part is up to you, Larry. You’ll find you have no real course of action to take but to accept my terms. Since you know, the money the Kalis Estate was pumping into your bank account ceased in April.

Mas smirks.

Masakazu: You could, of course, always ask your new friends in The Masters of Armageddon for financial assistance. If you can find them. I mean, since they’ve seemed to have gone all dead since The Order took it’s counter measures. So figure it out Larry, you know where I’ll be.

Jacob Figgins versus Jeremy Gold

The first match of the evening started off with a bang as Figgins tried to use his weight to push and punish the lighter Gold. The more technical Jacob used a variety of suplexes to keep the brawler off balance. but it was a mis-judged corner splash that gave the brawler from Russia a chance to get back into this match. Jeremy unloaded various strikes and kicks to the base of Figgins, also utilizing some backbreakers to wear down Jacob. The crowd nearly came out of their seats when Gold nailed a snap suplex off the ring apron onto the floor. But minutes later it was the Gutwrench suplex off the top ropes that brought everything back to even ground. In the end though, with Jeremy Gold being trapped in the Conspiracy Theory, Gold taps out and we have a winner

WINNER: Jacob Figgins

Justin Case versus Suukya’

We open up with a swift barrage of fists from Suukya, feel’n the hurt from being down talked recently. Justin doesn’t have his title taken off before he’s tossed to the outside shaken and battered, the match isn’t even begun. Suukya bounces off the ropes and dives through the ropes right into the Internet title. Justin catches his breath and tosses his opponent back into the ring where he proceeds to warm up tauntingly. Suukya gives the go ahead to begin and it goes no where as Justin runs rampid over his opponent with elbows and knees. A few suplex’s and Justin is just playing with his opponent. An attempt for a power bomb and things switch up with a hurricaneranna. Justin to his feet, arm drag. Fighting with a lot of heart Suukya gains the upper hand until he makes another mistake and Justin connects with a vicious DDT. A quick spit and agreement with himself that the match is over precedes an insulting boston crab, Suukya’s finisher, which leads to a rather abrupt and disappointing end to the match.

Winner: Justin Case

A Charming Segment

“Plush” brings out Jeffery Drake with one of the Rebel Pro Tag Team Championship belts draped over his shoulder. He’s not dressed to compete tonight, in a tattered surf shop shirt, board shorts and the usual giant black brace around his left leg. He limps down to ringside, using the ringsteps to get himself up on the apron and slowly moves through the middle ropes, makes his way to the middle of the ring and waits until a production assistant brings him a mic.

Jeffery Drake: I know a lot of people don’t like me here in Rebel Pro. That’s fine. I’ve built a career around it.

The fans let him know that they don’t like him at the moment because he’s taking airtime away from actual wrestling.

Jeffery Drake: It’s an Order of Chaos world around here and I can accept that. I can accept the outrage over myself and Thunderwolf coming out of nowhere and sweeping away the tag belts. I can accept the hate from myself beating your World Heavyweight Champion last week and securing a spot as the next in line to hold the belt Bubba J’s been smashing bud bottles over the last month. I can even get over my name being misspelled on every RPW marquee and promo.

The crowd realizes this whining would have been their best opportunity to his the bathrooms and buy some merchandise – but it’s too late now.

Jeffery Drake: I can’t accept being booked in another match with the Phoenix and having him no show.

Drake hobbles over to the camera, holding out both hands – and now shouting to make sure the mic picks up his words.

Jeffery Drake: I’m appealing to everyone in the back. To Gordon. To Gold. To Masakazu. To Simon’s other eye. Whomever is calling the shots… bring me someone who cares about the profession that has built them into the person they are. Not Robinson. I’ve beaten him ten

times in four months. He didn’t even open his eyes for like six of those bouts. Don’t force McNasty into this. He’s a good kid. A little unfocused as we discovered in the build up for the RP3 Tournament – but he doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this.

He gives up on his appeal and turns back to the crowd.

Jeffery Drake: I plan to be hoisting your signature belt over my head soon. Bring in someone else for this match. Do the community a favor and start perpetuating the farce that is its Intercontinental Champion.

He drops the microphone. The first cheer he gets for the night as “Plush” starts up again. He limps back towards the backstage area.

Triple Threat Elimination Match

Umbra vs. Jason Arkertome vs. Jack Spades

The match starts off strong for Umbra as just as the bell rings, he runs at nails Arkertome with a huge Yakaza kick, knocking him down. Umbra immediately goes for the cover and gets the 3, eliminating Arkertome. Jack looks impressed as he tried to lock up with Umbra, who accepts and attempts to corner Spades who uses his speed and agility to dodge and avoid the bigger man. Finally Umbra charges Spades and crushes him between himself and the turnbuckle. Umbra holds this position steady and begins wailing on Spades with lefts and rights with no escape for Spades. However Spades finds an exit and as Umbra goes for another large left Spades slides down and ducks out between the bigger mans legs. Spades springboards himself skyward with the middle rope and lands a vicious heel kick to the side of Umbra’s head which sends the bigger man stumbling back. Spades with a vicious knife edge chop, then another! Then a third! Umbra isn’t playing and he grabs Spades by the head and smashes his head against Spades’s. Jack hits the canvas but is up quickly. He goes for a roundhouse kick but Umbra catches his leg and lifts him up by the leg throwing his body forward and catching him by the neck. As Umbra catches Spades by the neck he spins around and chokeslams Spades to the canvas. Spades is up but groggy and Umbra hits a double axe handle smash on Spades sending him right back to the canvas. Spades doesn’t understand the word quit though, he’s right back on his feet and as Umbra attempts to level him with a flying clothesline it’s easy for Spades to duck and dodge the move. Umbra hits the canvas and Spades springboards himself off of the top

rope and lands a senton splash right on the downed Umbra. Spades pins but only gets a 2 count as Umbra throws Spades off of him violently. Spades is back up though and on the attack. He exchanges blows with Umbra again but Umbra’s pack more power and he knocks Spades to the ground. Umbra then gets onto Spades and tried to pick him up on his shoulders, but Jack kicks his feet vigorously and flips the two so that Umbra is on Jack’s shoulders and is not in a perfect position, Jack drops to his kneels, driving Umbra’s head into the mat with the Laughter Kills! Umbra is out and Jack gets the pinfall

Winner: Jack Spades

The Expansion of REBEL Pro Part 1

We fade backstage as Masakazu slides aside a bunch of paper work, big smiles for whatever reason. He’s a Kalis, they’re fucking weird.

Masakazu: Well. Everything’s finalized. Welcome back to REBEL Pro.

Masakazu stands up and shakes the hand of some dude, we can’t see him. We assume he’s awesome.

Masakazu: Nice mask.

Quick Results

Jack Spades defeats Arkertome and Umbra
Jacob Figgins defeats Jeremy Gold
Justin Case defeats Suukya’

NEXT TIME, ON REBEL Pro!

In Association with the AoWF, We Bring You: BARBEDWIRE MASSACRE!

Live! May 14th, 2012 From The Centre Bell in Montreal, Quebec Canada!

RPW World Title Barbed Wire Dog Chain Match
Anna Mathews versus Bubba J©

RPW World Tag Team Title Barbed Wire Cage Match
Flaming Nasties versus DrakeWolf©

RPW Aggression Title Barbed Wire I Quit Match
Bubba J versus

Anna Mathews©

Number One Contender’s Trophy: Bring Your own Barbed Wire Weapon Battle Royale**

RPW Fecal Beagle Unification Barbed Wire Hangmans Match
Jaice Wilds© versus Jack The Mackhammer©

Barbed Wire Ninja Match
Bubba J & Anna Mathews versus The Hoodie Ninjas*

*The Hoodie Ninjas are permitted weapons, Anna & Bubba are not.
**Anyone can enter except current REBEL Pro Champions, so long as they RP by the special first deadline.

Who’s The Boss?

The camera cuts backstage, in to an office, where Larry Gordon is sitting at his desk, several papers placed on it. Gordon is sitting at the desk with a phone up to his ear and a smile on his face. The camera man and Marvin Humperdink walk in to the office, recording the entire while; Gordon has his back to the camera and no idea he’s being recorded. Marvin, thinking about this soldiers on.

Marvin: Mr. Gordon?

Larry spins around.

Larry Gordon: I’ll talk with you later, but thanks for the good news.

Marvin raises an eyebrow as Gordon places the phone in the cradle.

Marvin: Good news sir?

Gordon nods.

Larry Gordon: It seems that Mr. Simon Kalis was a bit premature in his assumption that his bastard of a son was going to be running this show and that the Kalis Dynasty would have full control of Rebel Pro.

Gordon is sitting there with a smirk on his face and a very confident look.

Marvin: Sir? So, are you back in full control of Rebel Pro.

Larry chuckles a bit.

Larry Gordon: Not this week, but there will be some legalities that need to be ironed out, but rest assure Marvin, I will be back at the helm before too much longer. Perhaps even by Barbed Wire Massacre.

Marvin seems to shrink at this news, he knows that there will probably be a pay cut in it for him.

Marvin: That soon sir?

Gordon sneers.

Larry Gordon: What? You don’t want me running the show anymore?!

Marvin seems to be cowering now, afraid of what to answer.

Marvin: Its not that sir….

Larry Gordon: Then what is it Marvin? What is your problem with me running this company?

Marvin: Nothing sir.

Larry Gordon: Simon claims to have done so much for this company, have gotten them nationally recognized, but I’m the one that originally carried them to Afghanistan backed at Armed Assault! Simon says a lot of shit, but that is all it is… a lot of shit. He’s nothing more t han your typical gangsta slug or thug, either description fits.

Gordon seems to be getting in to it, but Marvin is looking a bit worried.

Larry Gordon: And he got nothing more than what he has had coming to him for years! Him helping me and my doctor bills?! The Phoenix’s money is what paid for that! He seems to think that his 49 percent trumphs my 51 percent, well… evidentally all of that cocain that he’s done has melted his already cruelly unintelligent brain to nothing more than sludge. I am the owner of Rebel Pro! I am the man who is going to run this business! I am the man who when I say jump, everyone is to say how high!

Gordon is really in to it.

Larry Gordon: I was content to sit back and let him book the matches, the cards, set every thing up… but he wasn’t content with all that. Kalis had to try and go behind my back and claim to gain control, giving it to his bastard of a son, if I ever stepped a toe ot of line… well that bastard Masakazu can meet the same sticky and unfortunate end that his father met… if he puts one toenail, one nappy hair strand… across my path.

A secondary camera is down the hallway, outside of Gordon’s office… Masakazu is standing right outside of Gordon’s office, leaning up against the wall and taking it all in.

Larry Gordon(from inside his office): Now, Marvin, get the hell out of my office before I severely reprimand you in to the unemployed line!

{fade}

Jamie Shields vs. “The Show” Chad Kurtis

It’s the return of the show and the beginning of the show, how cool is that? Chad and Jamie start going at it right off the bat, choosing to try to have a wrestling match at the beginning with Jamie getting the early advantage, showcasing his relentless style with strong backhands and uppercuts. Kurtis tried to fight back, and was able to duck a kick from Jamie and grab his now exposed head, driving him down to the mat with a ddt. Chad hit the ropes and landed a moon Sault off the middle rope for a two count. Jamie got up and when Chad came back for a dropkick, simply side stepped him and dropped an elbow on his chest. Jamie covered for two. Kurtis fought back to his feet and started striking Jamie, who was covering up. Chad went to the ropes again for the springboard, but he was caught by Jamie in mid rotation. Jamie hoisted him up upon his shoulders and drove Kurtis down to the mat with the Burning Hammer. Chad was out as Jamie pinned him for the 1 2 3.

Winner: Jamie Shields

What An Effect

Masakazu leans back, loosening the tie of his suit.

Masakazu: Listen. I know the history between us, hasn’t been well… The most cordial. Nor the most respectful.

There’s a man in the chair opposite Mas, but we cannot see him. He remains silent.

Masakazu: You being an Apostle of Ares, us being your sworn enemy and all that. But times are different.

Masakazu slides a portfolio towards the man and smiles.

Masakazu: Your contract is ready. That’s a given between us. But… Your place in The Order. I am apologizing on behalf of us, for all the wrong we wrought upon you and yours. Consider the bonus in the contract an act of reparations. We need you though. I won’t lie, I won’t sugar coat it. So… What’d you say?

We see the arm extend, the man quietly shaking Masakazu’s hand as we fade…

Triple Threat Match

Rocky Logan vs. Electra vs. Jack Spades

The match started fast and furious, with all three competitors showing why they were the proverbial best of the bunch in this three way. Rocky and Jack started going at it early, Electra trying to stay out of the way. Rocky dropped Jack on his head with a hard brain buster before turning his attention to Electra. She tried to flirt her way out of harm, but she was nailed in the face by a hard right. Jack attacked Rocky from behind, but he was kneed in the gut for his trouble. Rocky hit the ropes, but Jack low bridged him out of the ring! Electra nearly stole the victory after hitting Jack with her Butterfly Effect, but before she could get the three, Rocky Logan snuck up behind her and caught her with the Reckless Abandonment, leaving Electra with no choice but to submit.

Winner: Rocky Logan

Chaotically Charming

Hey look! We’re backstage! Don’t you just love it when things like this happen out of nowhere? Meghan Strader sure doesn’t. I can tell because I’ve been stalking her for at least five minutes. The crowd pops as she swaggers towards her room, keeping a cautious eye out for any suspicious activity. Besides me, your cameraperson, there doesn’t seem to be any. How odd. Suddenly, she trips and nearly falls on a pair of stilts with moon boots on the ends.

Meghan : PuppetTeresa?!

PuppetTeresa: Win.

Meghan: What are you doing here?

PuppetTeresa: Wi-in win winny winner win.

The look on her face is one of cluelessness. It’s a shame she can’t translate retarded puppetese. Luckily, a head of rather yellow yarn hair and velvety awesome top hat peeks out from the cracked open door.

PuppetLiza: PuppetTeresa said she was trying to guard the door when she tripped on a quarter.

Then the dumb felt bitch realized who she was translating to.

PuppetLiza: Oh! We didn’t expect you this early!

With great haste, we’re finally allowed to see inside. The first thing to grasp our attention is two rather shifty members of Anna’s cult attempting to decorate with streamers. This job is difficult mainly because PuppetLisa is cracking a whip and saying really mean things. To the left, a new leather filled biker outfit is worn by a life sized statue of the Lady Strader. The right gives way to a shiny motorcycle, lovingly polished until specs of dust became afraid to touch it. And dead center standing on a rather wobbly stepladder, the Queen of the Dodos herself puts the finishing touches on yet another one of her edible masterpieces. She seems oblivious to everything as she shimmies to an imaginary song. As Meghan walks towards her, she notices the paper on the floor. Concert tickets galore. PuppetLisa shrugs.

PuppetLisa: Yeah. She tried finding a band, but nobody accepted the bribes. They didn’t really like my threats either. So she just bought tickets for everything evil, metal, and in between. I had to shoot her with a tranquilizer gun just to get her to stop. *CRACK!* Get back to work!

The men do, of course, resulting in one of them bumping the ladder. Anna flaps her arms trying to get her balance but ultimately falls. A look at Meghan seems to snap her out of her trance. A nervous giggle.

Anna: O hai.

Meghan: Hi… did you do this for me?

Anna smiles and nods at the ‘Agent of Chaos’. Meghan looks at her and blushes as she becomes bashful. The girls are interrupted by Jeremy Gold in a red tracksuit, hopped up on a fine Columbian export dancing to music on his iPod. If I hear correctly I think it is “It’s Hip To Be Square”.

JG: You’re up ladies!

Jeremy turns around wiggles his ass and dances out of the door way as Meghan helps her partner up.

The Order & Charms versus The Masters of Armageddon

Anna Mathews & Meghan Nash Strader versus Kvlt Drachen & Vicious

Special Guest Referee: ???

With everyone now in the ring, suddenly “Seven Devils” by Florence & The Machines hits and Masakazu steps out with an arrogant smirk.

Masakazu: I’m sure you’re all wondering who the special guest referee is meant to be tonight.

The crowd cheers, they are quite curious.

Masakazu: He’s a man whose name you’ll all know, quite well. The newest roster member of REBEL Pro, and the newest member of The Order of Chaos. I give you…

“Black Dwarf” by Candlemass hits, and the words “THE NEXT CONSPIRACY” come over the REBELTron.

Linzi Martin: No shit?

Masakzu: JACOB FIGGINS!!!

Mas high fives Figgins, who steps out with a smirk. Anna smiles, Meghan laughs but the two Masters do not seem as pleasant about this as the two women. Masakazu steps backstage as Figgins gets into the ring and waves to the throngs of cheering REBEL Pro fans.

Larry Gordon: I am sick and tired of Masakazu’s interferences.
Linzi Martin: But you should be happy to see Jacob Figgins in REBEL Pro, cause that’s fuckin’ huge.
Larry Gordon: Hmph.
The two teams look ready to go but Jacob Figgins orders them both back to their corners in preparation for a pat down. Jacob moves first to Kvlt but decides against putting his hands anywhere near him and turns instead to Vicious. Jacob then gets down on his knees and checks Vicious shoes – who grunts, rolls his eyes and misses completely when Anna Mathews comes up over Figgins back and smashes Vicious with a knee between the eyes.

Vicious spills out of the ropes as Meghan crosses the ring and crushes Kvlt against the corner with a knee. Kvlt tosses her aside but gets met with a kick upside the head by Anna, sending him staggering into the ring. Kvlt tries to shake toe cobwebs out but Anna and Meghan are on him quick and send him into the post. Meghan then shoots Anna across the ring, who leaps into a Cartwheel to Backspring Elbow, connecting hard with his face as she spills over the ropes. Meghan then looks for the follow up but runs right into his grasp as Kvlt steps forward with Belly-to-Belly Suplex into the post, spiking her head first into the canvas.

Meghan sits balled up in a heap in the corner as Kvlt pulls his way free, unaware of Anna Mathews preparing a Springboard attack. As Anna goes up though Vicious grabs hold of a leg and drags her down, smacking her face first off the apron before tossing her back into the rail. Vicious then slides back into the ring as Kvlt gets Meghan tied up into the Tree of Woe.

Kvlt slides out behind Meghan, pulls back her wrists and gleefully twists her back into the buckles. Meghan screams at the top of her lungs in a mix of pain and just sheer blind frustration as Vicious moseys up in front of her, takes a swing and rips a chop across her stomach.

With no way to get at him Meghan resorts to spitting at him which only pushes Vicious to hit her harder still. Vicious then fires of a wicked series of chops before leaving her for the opposite corner. Kvlt meanwhile lets go of her arms in favour of her neck, choking her from the outside while leaning in and saying something we can only assume to be of a disgusting sexual nature. Jacob Figgins does his best to warn him off and even starts a count, knowing full well that there’s fuck all he can do, what with there being no rules.

Vicious squats down in the corner and lets Kvlt get his fill before crossing the ring and smashing Meghan between the eyes with a Dropkick, sending the spit and teeth flying.

Vicious gets back up and heads for the ropes again, shoving aside Figgins who returns a warning but keeps his distance for the time being. Vicious then steps forward into another run but stops in his tracks as he sees Anna hurtling toward him with a Flying Crossbody.

Vicious is quickly back to his feet as Anna rolls through, slips under a Clothesline and dives into a Tope Con Hilo, sending her and Kvlt into the rail. Vicious tries to keep the momentum up for his team but walks right into Meghan’s clutches as manages to pull herself up and catch him in a ¾ Chinlock. Meghan then kicks her way off the ropes, turns in mid air and slams him face down with the Acid Drop.

Meghan leaps onto the cover.

1

2

3

Vicious pushes free from a fast count and rolls toward the ropes for a breath. He doesn’t get it though as Anna kicks him back under the ropes to Meghan, who drags him back up to his feet and puts him right back down with a Legsweep as Anna doubles it up with a Flying Dropkick. The two then race back to their feet with Meghan catching Kvlt on the apron with a Shoulderblock while Anna gets Vicious in place. The two then attempt to get Kvlt up for a Suplex, but find it going the other way as Kvlt takes them over the ropes.

Anna falls loose the floor and just barely lands on her feet while Meghan catches the ropes and manages to land beside him on the apron. Kvlt tries to cut her down with a Lariat but Meghan gets there first with a kick in the stomach. She then tries to splatter him off the apron with a DDT but Kvlt grips her waist tight and drops to a knee, holding her in place for Vicious to crack her in the back of the head with a Northern Lariat. Kvlt then dumps her to the floor.

Vicious drags Anna back to the ring as Kvlt goes looking for some plunder. Anna tries to shake the cobwebs loose but finds herself pinned down in the corner as Vicious grinds a knee into her throat. Figgins warns him and eventually puts a hand on him, forcing Vicious to break off his attack and send Figgins across the ring. Figgins goes down to a knee and Vicious snaps a few words at him, unfortunately for him Figgy is far from hurt, and as Vicious goes to turn away Figgy comes up with the Hello Kitty elbow pad slipped on and crushes his jaw with a brutal Roaring Elbow.

Figgins looks quite pleased with himself and turns and walks right into Kvlt, who shatters his face with a Barbedwire chair.

Kvlt makes a point of grinding the chair against his face and then tearing it off, letting the barbs pierce and then rip through his flesh. Kvlt then tosses the chair aside for the moment and turns his attention piece of plywood he dumps in the centre of the ring. Kvlt then produces a bottle of lighter fluid and holds it high, earning a few horrified calls from the crowd.

Anna tries to catch Vicious off guard with a kick but gets caught over his arm and then sent flying with a Capture Suplex, crumpling her in a heap by the ropes. Vicious then dusts himself off and gets to his feet as Kvlt tosses Meghan into his hands. Vicious then lines Meghan up for the Aurora Suplex as Kvlt douses the board, but Meghan manages to elbow her way out of his hands and then falls forward, bundling Vicious and Kvlt over.

Vicious fires into the ropes, aiming to take her head off with a Clothesline, only to be dropped as Anna pulls down the ropes, letting him flop to the outside. Meghan Meanwhile drops Kvlt with a kick and prepares to finish him with the Pedigree, but Kvlt arches back and dumps her on the mat. Anna doesn’t let him rest though and flies into him with a Basement Dropkick.

Anna slams the barbedwire chair onto his chest and then makes for the apron. Anna then tosses herself up onto the second rope, bounces to the top and then leaps into 630, only to come crashing down on the chair propped up on his knees.

Anna limps away, puncture wounds already streaming from under her shirt as Kvlt sets on her, gets her into the air and cracks her neck against the canvas with a Lyger Bomb.

Meghan tries to get into the ring for the save but Vicious pulls her around and whips her into the ring steps. Meghan staggers back and swings at him, only to end up caught and driven into the floor with a T-Bone Suplex. Back in the ring Kvlt finally gets his wish and spreads the last few drops of lighter fluid on the board, rips a match and then sets it alight.

Kvlt drags Anna up by the hair and thumps her with a knee to soften her up. He then gets her up onto a shoulder and turns toward the flaming board. He smiles a grave smile as he gets up under her arms.

Kvlt pushes Anna into the air but loses his grip, letting her fall down behind him. Anna lands on her feet and Kvlt tries to get after her, but gets dropped with a kick in the back of his knees. Kvlt lands on all fours and Anna capitalises, leaping up with a Double Stomp that smashes his face off the flaming board.

Kvlt smothers the board but sees his mask go up in ablaze and throws himself to the outside. Anna tries to get after him but Vicious is on her from behind and drops her with a horrid German Suplex. Anna rolls free and Vicious follows, dragging her up by the hair. He doesn’t get any further than that though as Meghan smashes the barbedwire chair deep into his back, dropping him to his knees. Anna shakes him off and thrusts him at Meghan, who walks him into a kick and quickly doubles his arms before splattering his face off the chair with the Pedigree.

Meghan flops onto a pin as Anna slaps Figgins awake.

1

2

3!

That Shit’s McNasty

We open to find former REBEL Tag Champ Mark McNatsy in the office of Masakazu. Mas has a very stoic look on his face as he sits behind a desk, staring across it at the standing McNasty.

Mas: I have no problem giving Grade A Nastyness another tag title shot. I simply want to know where your associate is.

McNasty smirks as he leans down and calmly puts his hands on the desk.

McNasty: WELLLL Mr. Meshuggah,

Mas cuts him off.

Mas: That’s Masakazu.

McNasty lets out a small laugh.

McNasty: Sorry, my bad. Like I said Mr. Michelin…

Mas sighs.

McNasty: Alex is sort of preoccupied. He won’t be able to make the pay per view. But come on! I’m sure you could find someone on my level who could draw in the ratings like I do.

Mas puts his fore finger and thumb on his chin; he rubs it for a second.

Mas: Ok Mark, you have a deal. Come back in an hour, and you’ll find out your partner for your tag title shot at Barbed Wire Massacre.

McNasty: Aw thanks! You’re the best Mr. Mitsubishi!

McNasty turns and walks out of the office as Masakazu puts his face in his hand. He looks up, sighs, and picks up the phone.

AoWF King o’Extreme Championship Handicap Match

Justin Case & The Wiz versus Enika Engel©

Enika Engel entered the ring confident, her confidence only outdone by Justin Case’s hubris. The match starts and The Wiz quickly falls back to let Case start things off. Case and Enika tie up, Case using his size and strength hits a snap suplex on Enika. Enika’s right back up, and Case immediately grapples her again and takes her down with a fishermans suplex. The Wiz takes his cane and begins bashing Engel’s face in. Case begins stomping down on her chest and abdomen as well. He lifts Enika up The Benchmark! He covers! 1! 2! NO!!! Enika kicks out! She quickly rolls out of the ring, smartly recovering and regrouping herself. The Wiz taps his cane on the canvas, and Justin Case signals for her to bring it.

Enika grabs a lead pipe from under the ring and gets back in. The Wiz, feeling braver, lunges at her. But Enika hits him with some pink mist in the eyes, blinding the Wiz. The Wiz runs back blindly, barely missing Justin Case. Enika is in the ring and swings the lead pipe like a bat, cracking Case hard over the head. She wails on him with it, again and again, and again and again. Case however, grabs her and whips her to the ropes. She comes back and hits Ante-Up! On The Wiz, who’s still blind, sending him crashing to the canvas. Case grabs her and hits a German suplex, but Enika, still with lead pipe in hand, cracks him over the head as she recovers from the assault. She hits a springboard spinning wheel kick on Case, sending him over the top rope. With one final blast from the lead pipe to the already downed Wiz, she covers.

1!

2!!

Case slides into the ring.

3!!!

Case is too late!

DING DING DING

Abbey Graves: The winner of this match, and STILL AoWF King of Extreme Champion…. ENIKA ENGEL!!!!

Alliance of Warriors?

The camera cuts backstage, showing Bubba J there, Rebel Pro World title over his shoulder, and a cooler in his left hand, walking down the hallway. The effects of his match with Emily Corlen are still evident on his body as he marches towards the camera. After a few steps, he comes to a door, just stopping and staring at it as though he’s trying to read it, but you can tell that he’s going through emmotions in his head about the name.

“This is bigger than one person. This is bigger than any one individual. This is bigger than any of us have realized.”

The camera pans to show the name on the door as Bubba J’s scarred hand knocks not so gently on the wood. Bubba J waits as a crack appears in between the door and the frame; the profile of Emily’s face coming into the sliver.

Emily: “What do you want?”

Bubba J looks at her.

Bubba J: “Can you at least let me in?”

Emily swings the door wide, motioning for Bubba J to come on in. Emily goes back to sitting on a somewhat comfortable chair, also still showing the injuries from their match. Bubba J stands over her, her seeming relaxed, if still in some pain; after all Bubba J’s the same, it was a hell of a match.

Emily: “You wanted… what exactly?”

Bubba J stares at Emily.

~One minute later~

Emily is still staring at Bubba J.

~One minute later~

They are still staring at each other, neithers’ expression is changing.

Its like both are sizing up the other, seeing just what, we aren’t sure.

Bubba J: “That was one of the toughest battles that I’ve ever been in. I knew that you’d be tough… but Emily…”

He seems to gather himself, his thoughts returning to the battle.

Bubba J: “You are the toughest bitch that I’ve faced in the AOWF.”

He nods… out of respect towards Emily? The crowd is silent in the arena, Bubba J doesn’t give compliments… hardly at all. Its a momentous occasion.

Emily Corlen: “”

Bubba J: “But that ain’t why I’m here Emily.”

Emily raises an eyebrow in wonderment.

Bubba J: “I’m fucking tired of what they are doing.”

He doesn’t have to explain, she knows exactly who he is talking about. Emily looks at him, nodding in agreement.

Emily Corlen: “”

Bubba looks at her, just staring and grabbing all of his thoughts.

Bubba J: “This is bigger than any one of us.”

He tosses the belt down on the ground.

Bubba J: “As much as I respect this federation, as much as I hate to stand beside anyone. As much as I’ve done wrong and by myself in the past.”

He sticks out his hand. Emily just looks at it, then back up to Bubba J with a question in her eyes.

Bubba J: “We’ve never really liked each other. But Emily, you proved something to me at Birthday Bash. You proved yourself to me… and that means something really big to me. I am glad that there is someone like you in The Order. I’m glad that you are the tough bitch that you are. And I have but one last question for you.”

He motions outside of the room, Emily just waits.

Bubba J: “They are getting too big, they are getting too powerful, they are getting way out of control… So…, stand beside me?”

Emily looks into Bubba J’s eyes, trying to read his soul. Emily’s trying to read his expression, if he means it, if he’s tricking her because he is a Masters minion.

Emily waits, contemplating it as she continues to read his eyes and thinks about all of his words.

Emily Corlen: “”

Emily sticks out her hand, but Bubba J has drawn back, shaking his head. Emily looks taken aback and is in a defensive stance, ready for the attack as she looks around. Bubba J is digging in the cooler, the sound of ice sloshing around. Emily just stares as Bubba J pulls out 2 Ying Ling beers, reaching one out to her.

Bubba J: “I don’t know if you drink, but this is how I sign a deal…”

He holds the ice covered and cold beer out to her.

Bubba J: “With a beer.”

Bubba J: “I don’t know if you drink…”

Emily pops both her and Bubba J’s beer bottle top, and begins to chug as he joins her. They then clink empty bottles before staring at each other.

Both: “Rebel Pro… FUCK! YEAH!”

Jeffrey Drake & Thunderwolf vs. Hardcore Entertainment

We come back from commercial to see that both teams are already in the ring. Well, Bubba J is in the ring, so is Jeffery Drake; and their partners are on the apron waiting

to be tagged in.

Ding Ding

Linzi Martin: You know that I cannot stand you by now.

Larry Gordon: People do what they have to do Linzi, and remember that I can fire you at any time.

Bubba J nails Drake with a right hand, but the legend fires back with one of his own and this match is under way. Bubba J with another right, Drake with a second of his own; these two are going toe to toe in the center of t he ring. Bubba J throws a seventh right hand, but Drake absorbs the blow, turning it in to a wristlock and taking Bubba J down with an arm drag. Bubba J rolls up under, nailing Drake with his left fist instead and bringing up a knee in to Drake’s crotch. Drake, the veteran that he is, blocks the knee, but has to absorb the weaker left fist to the chin. J with a headbutt, but Drake responds with one in kind to the Ragin’ Redneck.

Linzi Martin: ….

Larry Gordon: You refuse to call the match… and I’ll refuse to continue signing your paychecks.

Linzi Martin: They are punching each other fans, what. hot. hectic. action.

Larry Gordon: A little more inflection Linzi, that raise may be flushed down the toilet.

Drake pulls J up, whipping him in to the corner as Vincent and Thunderwolf watch on in calm fascination. Drake nails J in the midsection with his good knee, reaching out for a tag, but Bubba J shoves him away with a fist in his gut. Drake doubles over, Bubba J off the ropes with a big knee lift in to his face that knocks him down. Bubba J reaches for a tag in to Vincent, but Drake trips him up, causing him to slam his chin on the canvas. Bubba J turns over, kicking out at Drake and reaching up for the tag, but Drake yanks him away from the long reach of Black on the apron. Drake and Bubba J get back up to their knees, exchanging rights and lefts in the very center of the ring, but neither is getting an advantage, despite the age of Drake and the inexperience of Bubba J.

Linzi Martin: They are back to punching like drunk monkeys.

Larry Gordon: This is wonderful, two of the MOA’s enemies beating the hell out of each other, makes our job much easier.

Linzi Martin: That of running and only attacking when the odds are in your favor?

Larry Gordon: You must pick your battles Linzi, take them out when you can and leave when you can’t.

Drake with a faint, Bubba J bites and Drake nails him with an elbow to the temple that really rocks the redneck hard. Bubba J falls back, but Drake pulls him forward in to a fist to the mouth and a secondary move of a headbutt to the nose. Bubba J isn’t bleeding, but at this pace it won’t be long. Drake pulls himself up to his feet, reaching over to Thunderwolf, but Bubba J catches him with a double fist right to his balls and Drake crumbles like a sack of bricks, barely before making the tag to Wolf. Bubba J crawls forward, locking in an anklelock, but its more to pull Drake back from his corner. Bubba J releases the hold, whipping Drake in to a neutral corner, but he quickly follows in with a lifted knee into Drake’s midsection, doubling him over. However, Bubba J the nice guy that he is, stands Drake up with a stiff uppercut to his chin. Bubba J begins to literally stomp a mudhole in Drake’s midsection until he is in a seated position in the corner. Bubba J goes across the ring, running back and looking for a Bronco Buster!

Larry Gordon: That is good for MOA business.

Linzi Martin: Drake manages to move out of the way just in time, but leaves a fist there for good measure.

Bubba J is rolling around in pain, and Drake is still recovering as well, but on the outside. Bubba J continues rolling and falls over the edge.

Larry Gordon: He must be wrestling drunk again, but that is Simon’s World Champion?

Linzi Martin: Yes it is and Mr. Kalis is a wonderful man, and so is Masakazu!

Larry Gordon: So, which one gets you first? Or do they share now that Simon is married?

Linzi Martin: You bastar…

Larry Gordon: I forgot, Simon isn’t capable of doing much of anything at the present… is he?

Linzi refuses to say another word meanwhile Drake and Bubba J are each tugging on a steel chair under the ring. Bubba J has the feet of the chair and Drake the back of the chair, they both crawl under to see what is keeping the chair, they see each other. Drake with a right under the ring and Bubba J returns the favor. These two men are fighting under the ring as Wolf and Vincent continue to watch on, content to let these two duke it out and remain as fresh as they can. Drake shoves backwards, but Bubba J rolls to the left and comes up with a wrench. J swings the wrench, but Drake is just barely able to block it with the chair. The fans can’t see what is going on, but they hear the sounds of combat under the ring and all of a sudden white mist comes out from under the ring.

Larry Gordon: Someone get a camera under that ring, or else they will be severely repremanded!

A camera guy obliges, sticking the camera under the ring and the feed going to the Rebel-tron, which was called Megavision, and not sure if it has been changed now. The camera catches Bubba J’s bleeding lip and Drake’s bleeding temple before J slings the extinguisher at Drake’s forehead. Drake rolls out of the way and the camera’s lense is smashed into bits from the impact with the hard metal of the extinguisher. The camera man slides back, a few pieces of glass sticking in to the flesh around his face, it was some explosion I tell you.

Larry Gordon: Damn it! I want to see them destroy each other!

Linzi Martin: Well, looks like you won’t, unless you spend some cash and get better cameras… and braver camera men.

The camera man, that she is referring to as a weiny, is crying and leaving the building in a freaking hurry. Jimmy Johnson, the senior referee, is under the ring trying to get the two men to come out, but he’s shoved backwards in to the railing with a bleeding nose and a busted lip as well. Bubba J comes out, but right beside him is Drake, both looking like if Jimmy Johnson messes with them again, it won’t be as nice as it just was. Drake looks at J, nailing him with a punch to the jaw as well as a knee braced gang greenous knee to the ribs. Bubba J falls against the steps, Drake with a running start lands a hard knee, right where Bubba J’s head just was; the redneck moving just in time. Drake is hurt now, holding at his bad wheel and here comes J, board to the knee and Drake howls in obvious pain and torture. J slams the board down again and again on the knee. Drake tries to crawl under the ring, but J pulls him back out quickly, but Drake got what he wanted, a forgotten Pepsi 20 ounce. Bubba J leans over, Drake sprays it in to his eyes, the soda burning and causing temporary blindness.

Larry Gordon: Finally we are back to seeing them destroy each other.

Linzi Martin: At least Vincent and Thunderwolf aren’t giving you the destruction you want.

Larry Gordon: We’ll see what can be done about that.

Gordon gets on his phone and immediately curses.

Larry Gordon: This was signed to be a regular tag match, with Rebel Pro rules!

Linzi Martin: Meaning, they have to tag in to the match… hahahahahahaha.

Drake nails Bubba J with a ring step, limping over, and slamming it down on to his head before whipping him in to the railing. Drake comes back with another running knee, this one connecting and Bubba J manages to pull him over the railing and to the crowd. Bubba J pounds away at Drake, but Drake is also pounding away at Bubba J; neither man really getting much of an advantage and not for long in this match. Bubba J whips Drake in to the railing and delivers a clothesline that sends both men over and back to ringside.

Larry Gordon: I want more blood and torn flesh!

Linzi Martin: And I want you to take a bath and not to have been a dirty back stabbing son of a bitch! But we don’t all get what we want.

Bubba J drags Drake to the ring before rolling him in and following him in afterwards. Bubba J leans forward to tag in Vincent, but Drake kicks his knee, causing J to fall backwards and in to a rollup!

One…

Two…

Bubba J kicks out and up to his feet, Drake up as well, sending J down with a elbow shot to the face. Drake rushes forward, but J grabs the back of his trunks before the tag is made, just about a half of an inch to go, and rolls him up from behind!

One…

Two…

Drake throws a shoulder up, kicking out and up to his feet. They come together in a collar and elbow, Bubba J forcing Drake to the ropes, but Drake quickly spinning around and J is in the corner. Drake with several stiff face and body shots to weaken the Ragin’ Redneck, but he goes for one blow too many as Bubba J whips them both around and nails Drake with a right of his own. J with a headbutt in to Drake’s chest before doing another mudhole stomp to nearly get him in a seated position. Bubba J yanks on the hair, pulling him back up and slamming an elbow in to his temple. Bubba J drags Drake over for a tag, sure to get it this time… Drake goes for The Hero’s Suplex(Bridging Fisherman’s Suplex) but still the tag isn’t made!
He nails it!

One…

Two…

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Abbey Graves: Winners of the match, garanteeing Jeffery Drake a Rebel Pro World Title shot… the team of Thunderwolf and Jeffery Drake!

“Plush” by the Stone Temple Pilots hits up in the speakers as Jeffery Drake and Thunderwolf stand tall in the center of the ring, victorious.

That Shit’s McNasty: THE REDUX

We find Masakazu in his office. We hear a knock at the door.

Mas: Come in.

The door swings open, and in walks an incredibly excited Mark McNasty.

McNasty: Hey! So, what’s the good news?

Mas is the one to smirk now.

Mas: Well Mark, as you stated, I was indeed able to find someone of your caliber, who can certainly bring in the fans. I had to check a few forms, contracts, and the such… but you are indeed getting a legend of a partner.

McNasty sits down in front of the desk. He leans back and crosses his legs; a glowing look on his face.

McNasty: Really? Do tell.

Mas: See, as it turns out, this person owed us one more match before they left. Problem was, we didn’t bother trying to collect…as they usually didn’t show.

McNasty: Makes sense.

Mas: But now, since a shot at gold is on the line, we figure it won’t be a problem.

McNasty: Sounds like good incentive to me.

Mas: So, at Barbed Wire Massacre, it will be Mark McNasty, teaming with, THE PHOENIX!

The fans erupt. They can’t believe what they are hearing. Neither can McNasty who falls over backwards in the chair and rolls over himself. He springs back to his feet.

McNasty: WHAT?!?!?! Have you not been paying attention to PWA where you also work?!?! Robinson is trying to get me canned! AND YOU WANT ME TO TEAM WITH HIM???

Mas just smirks.

Mas: I want nothing. You signed a contract to compete at Barbed Wire Massacre. You said you didn’t care who I found. So…I found you someone. Best of luck in your match Mark.

McNasty rubs his forehead, before slowly turning, and walking out. Masakazu makes a jerk off motion with his hands near his crotch, and with that eloquent moment, Aggression ends.

QUICK RESULTS

Jamie Shields defeats Chad Kurtis
Rocky Logan defeats Electra & Jack Spades
Anna & MNS defeat Kvlt & Vicious
Enika Engel defeats Justin Case & The Wiz, retaining the AoWF KoE Championship
DrakeWolf defeats Hardcore Entertainment, gaining Drake a REBEL Pro World Title Shot