Volunteer Slam 02/23/2008

02/23/2008
REBEL-PRO.COM EXCLUSIVE

We find M.D.K. sitting in the locker-room of the arena in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. He’s not appearing tonight in a match but is here to make
his presence felt by all around him. His first match certainly did that to and despite not winning, he certainly left a mark on JJ Nickels both physically
and mentally. He acknowledges the camera’s presence as he continues to flip his mobile phone between his fingers as though it was a baton. The past week
had been terrible for him really after losing with Eddie and Sally full of ‘I told you so’s which is exactly what he didn’t want to hear. Eddie was going
to be along shortly and M.D.K. wanted to make these feeling perfectly clear before he went out in front of the fans in attendance – not quite the amount
that he had initially been told. This place wasn’t entertaining the masses he was accustomed to nor was it doing the crowds he was pulling when he was
first established. REBEL was happy to see five hundred people in the crowd at Bloody Valentine, but how could anyone be happy with five hundred people.
As he continued to ponder his actual career path here, his manager Eddie Simmons walks through the door.

EDDIE: “Danny! How is it going man? Have you been in the gym because you are bursting out of that shirt man?”

M.D.K. smiles before standing up and embracing Eddie with a warm manly hug. They break off and Eddie fixes his clearly false smile. M.D.K. frowns and responds
to Eddie as bluntly as possible.

M.D.K.: “Cut the crap Eddie and tell me what the crowd is like.”

EDDIE: “It’s about the same as Bloody Valentine – five hundred. Six at the most but it’s no GOA that’s for sure. The difference from the other week is there
are few more spastics and children in the front row then there were then. I guess volunteering to appear means that not only can they duck paying you but
they can also allow freaks in the cheap seats in.”

M.D.K.: “Eddie man just leave it ok? There’s not much I can do about this is there? I am signed to a six show deal on a rolling basis and I can only pull
out after the first six should I choose to. With me here it can only mean that they get a boost and I am hardly doing this for the money am I?”

EDDIE: “I guess not. Look; what are you going to do for this next five shows though man? You hardly got over with the other guys in the locker-room last
week as they struggled to understand anything remotely intelligent that came from your mouth and the majority of the fans only marked out for the brutality
you showed after you had lost.”

M.D.K.: “What do you suggest then Eddie?”

EDDIE: “It’s not down to me is it? If you wanna get over with those morons then you will have to go out there and ask them won’t you? You need to know exactly
what they want to see from you. Hell if any of them have a television set at home they are bound to have heard of you before this and surely they must
know your many sides. For crying out loud you make a dodecahedron look one dimensional! Go out there and kill ‘em… just not literally.”

M.D.K.: “OK but I want you to come out to the ring with me.”

EDDIE: “Why; do you need me to hold your little hand?”

M.D.K.: “No I want you to bring this with you.”

M.D.K. hands Eddie a large box and as Eddie peers inside, he gives M.D.K. an incredulous look.

EDDIE: “And what the hell do you want me to do with that?”

M.D.K.: “It should be fairly bloody obvious shouldn’t it?”

Eddie frowns as the camera cuts out and we return to the ring.

——————————————————————————–
The fans are cheering as ‘Woman’ Wolfmother begins to play and M.D.K. steps out onto the ramp. Some fans cheer as they remember him from Bloody Valentine
but generally the crowd is indifferent to him although the thumping drum beat from the song gets them on their feet. Eddie walks out behind M.D.K. with
the large box held in his hands. He looks bewildered as M.D.K. makes his way down the ramp. He steps through the ropes and holds the box as Eddie gets
in after him. He hands Eddie back the box as he takes a microphone from Jenny before beginning to speak.

M.D.K.: “Good evening…. Um… Shelby!”

The crowd give a cheap pop in response to their town being called out despite M.D.K. almost forgetting where he was. He continues.

M.D.K.: “I bet a few of you didn’t expect to see me back after losing last week did you? I bet that a few of you thought that I was the type to sulk and
then take my toys with me to go home. Well I guess you have to rethink your plan because I’m not going anywhere until I have proven my point!”

He paces around the ring as he continues to speak.

M.D.K.: “Now I could stand before you and harp on about the screw job I faced last week and how the wannabe lump of everything JJ Nickels cheated his way
to retaining that title and I could moan about the combined intellect of a yoghurt that dares to call itself a locker-room out there but you see I am not
like that for I am the Morally Dominant Kind.”

He gestures to Eddie who looks angry at M.D.K. before shaking his head in refusal. M.D.K. forcefully gestures to the box where Eddie takes out a small snare
drum kit and places it on the canvas before sitting cross legged on the mat.

M.D.K.: “Now as I was saying, I am not going to do that because I am the Morally Dominant Kind.”

He looks at Eddie who plays the snare drum in a comedy fashion.

Ba-Dum-Tiss

M.D.K.: “Or maybe it’s because Many Don’t Know exactly what I can do yet.”

He looks at Eddie again who sighs.

Ba-Dum-Tiss

M.D.K.: “Or, or possibly because Massively Dumb Kids…”

Ba-Dum-Tiss

“… like JJ Nickels and Warren are allowed to compete in this company considering that they are so inept they need week long courses in remembering to inhale
and exhale!”

M.D.K. is clearly getting more and more irate as he goes on.

M.D.K.: “It’s all fun and games mocking a name isn’t it? It’s the easy way out when you have very little else to say because your wit – much like your originality
– is so withered and unused that when it is required, you can’t even think of anything quick or worthwhile to say. So JJ; keep working on the puns because
mark my words, My Day’s Coming…”

Ba-Dum-Tiss

M.D.K. glares at Eddie who holds the sticks with a smile on his face now. M.D.K. speaks in hushed tones to Eddie.

M.D.K.: “That wasn’t one.”

EDDIE: “But I thought…”

M.D.K.: “Never mind.”

He turns back to the crowd and continues.

M.D.K.: “You see I thought you would appreciate the drum as it could be like a prompt during lame old sitcoms like The Cosby Show where the audience are
basically told what to laugh at and when. Considering that my humour flies over your heads along with everything else I say, I thought a prompt would be
able to let you know what is said in jest. So in the future when I say things like… Adam Davis is a highly intellectual person, Eddie can simply go…”

Ba-Dum-Tiss

“And then you know I don’t really mean it.”

The crowd are pretty cold to this as M.D.K. sighs and shrugs his shoulders. He nods to Eddie and he gets out of the ring leaving M.D.K. alone with the drums.
M.D.K.: “I don’t get it people, I really don’t. Are you simply the hicks that I feared you to be? Do you not want to hear the vitriolic essence of my tongue
carve through my opponent’s emotions before I tear their bodies apart? Is that why you only marked out like crazy when I drew blood from Jacked-Up Jack-Off
Nickels?”

He looks to the drum but obviously Eddie has gone. M.D.K. goes over to the drums himself and bends down.

Ba-Dum-Tiss

M.D.K.: “Are you that simple that you only come here to see violence?”

The crowd start to roar in response.

M.D.K.: “Are you here to see the pain I can inflict and the misery I can inflict on others?”

The crowd respond with a huge yes.

M.D.K.: “Do you want to see the no holds barred, hyper-violent, blood-spilling, seat filling, career-killing son of a bitch that I can really be?”

The yes starts to swell.

M.D.K.: “Do you want the true meaning of my name? Do you want to see the real Murder, Death, Kill?”

The yes is almost deafening now from the crowd.

M.D.K.: “Then by the sick bastard that is the voice in my head you sick bastards will get what you want but I warn you now; you better be careful what you
wish for because this right here is an open challenge. At March Madness I don’t care how big you are, how tough you are and how ugly you are. I don’t care
if you’re from Rebel, NAPW or Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory. Whether you are thin, fat, white, black, man, woman or ginger; I want you to bring everything
you have because I won’t stop until my point is proven and that will be to show that YOU ARE INFERIOR!”

Woman begins to play again as the crowd are on their feet. M.D.K. punts the drums into the crowd before cracking the drum-sticks over his head. They break
and M.D.K. takes the jagged end and drives it into his own head and with the blood writes ‘M.D.K.’ into the canvas. He throws the sticks into the crowd
before leaving the ring.

——————————————————————————–
Warren and Cuzin Zeke VS Nation of Innovation

Cuzin Zeke and Warren make their way to the ring accompanied by El Rey de Corizones. The three receive a positive ovation from the crowd. Shortly thereafter
the Nation of Innovation make their way to the ring as well.

Warren and Jeremy Daines start the match. Daines runs at Warren, who ducks out of the way and lands a drop toehold. Daines gets to his feet and he and Warren
grapple in the center of the ring. Daines gains the upper hand by reversing the hold and now has Warren around the waist. Daines lands a reverse DDT in
the middle of the ring and Warren is down. Jeremy Daines locks in a reverse headlock, and Cuzin Zeke rushes the center of the ring and lays a boot to the
side of Jeremy Daines’ head. Enrique Rodriguez rushes the ring as well and and begins exchanging right hands with Cuzin Zeke. Warren and Jeremy Daines
have rolled out of the ring and are waiting in their respective corners. Zeke whips Rodriguez into the corner and follows it with a clothesline, Rodriguez
is slumped in the corner now. Zeke walks back to the corner across from Rodriguez and tries another running clothesline but Enrique Rodriguez moves out
of the way and Zeke stumbles out of the corner backwards. Rodriguez runs, bounces off the ropes and lands a bull dog. Enrique goes up to the second rope
and lands a leg drop on Cuzin Zeke. Rodriguez goes for the cover. ONE! Warren rushes in and breaks up the cover. Warren scoops Enrique up off the mat and
throws him through the second rope, out of the ring. Jeremy Daines meets Warren back in the ring. Warren whips Daines into the turnbuckle, but Jeremy Daines
reverses it. Warren hits the turnbuckle hard and stumbles out. Daines lands a Manhattan Drop on Warren and follows it up with a clothesline. Daines hops
up onto the top turnbuckle and goes for a body splash, Warren rolls out of the way!

Warren and Jeremy Daines are down in the ring and out from the back comes the tag team, Natural Destruction. The Thunder Lord and The Fire God walk down
to ringside and begin taking pictures with the fans. Enrique Rodriguez takes note of this team at ringside and begins yelling at them to get away from
ringside. Rodriguez hops down from the ring apron and takes the disposable camera from one of the fans and breaks it. Rodriguez lands a right hand on the
Fire God and then is brawling with Natural Destruction on the outside of the ring and eventually all the way to the back of the building! Meanwhile back
in the ring Jeremy Daines is left all alone with Warren and Cuzin Zeke. Warren and Daines are exchanging rights in the middle of the ring and Cuzin Zeke
storms the ring and lands a big clothesline that sends Jeremy Daines to the mat. Warren scoops Daines off the mat and brings him to his vertical base.
Warren bounces off the ropes and lands a swinging neck breaker! Warren hops up onto the top turnbuckle and lands the Super Big Gulp! Cuzin Zeke heads to
the top rope as well, and lands the Mud Puddle! ONE! TWO! THREE!

Warren and Cuzin Zeke win the match and get a big ovation from the crowd! The two begin celebrating with El Rey de Corizones and the fans on the outside
of the ring. The three high five the fans as they walk to the back. Jeremy Daines gets his bearings and rolls out of the ring holding his ribs. He looks
around for Enrique Rodriguez but he is nowhere to be seen. Daines then notices the fans going outside the building, follows and finds his partner brawling
with Natural Destruction. Security rushes to the scene and breaks up the brawl.

——————————————————————————–

REBEL TRYOUT MATCH: The Magician VS “The Sandman” Bill Price

“Abracadabra” by Steve Miller Band begins to play throughout the arena as a strange man wearing a black mask, white dress shirt, a black top hat, and cape
saunters out from the back. The Magician holds up his cape to his masked face menacingly, and then points his black wand to the various people in the crowd
as he makes his way to the ring.. Just as he steps through the ropes and stretches a bit, “Dream Weaver” by Gary Wright enchants all those in the arena.
Bill Price walks out, with his arms raised confidently in the air. He is in his mid-thirties, jet black hair, most would assume a dye job, is slicked back.
He has on a generic t-shirt that reads “You Can’t Even Beat Me” on the front and “In Your Dreams” on the back. The crowd chuckles and a few cheer for the
middle aged unknown. Before the match begins, Price walks over to Jenny Jersey and demands the mic.

THE SANDMAN: If I win tonight, I want all of you to know that I will be apart of this company! I am gonna put that silly joke over there to sleep!! Oh,
and after I win, I want that Carolina belt thingy because it would look good on my mantle next to my KFC Bucket memorabilia. You hear that Nickels?

Before he can continue much longer, he is met with a vicious snap dropkick to the knees. “The Sandman” topples over, dropping the mic. Jenny hurries over
to get it, while The Magician starts laying the boots to the side of Bill Price’s head. Much like an old vet, Price rolls on hi belly and under the bottom
rope to escape the attack. He stands, looks up to his masked opponent and smiles. Price turns to face for of the fans in the crowd jeering him, and he
even reaches down to take a bite out of a small child’s hotdog. Meanwhile, The Magician runs to the opposite ropes, bounces off, and just as Price turns
with a mouth full of hotdog, leaps through the ropes, spearing Price into the guardrail. The crowd is livid and cheering!! The Magician fixes his mask,
and then rolls “The Sandman” into the ring and goes for a pin.

ONE! TWO! THRE—KICKOUT!!!

The Magician lays in a few more kicks before lifting up Bill Price into a tombstone piledriver. Meanwhile, JJ Nickels has made his way to ringside, and
just as HE gets a mic, Magician plants Bill Price on his hair.

JJ NICKELS: Oh! We might see a black circle from his greasy dyed hair from that one.

Then the Magician takes the already out of it opponent and carefully sets them up in a prone kneeling position. The magical assassin then runs to the ropes,
comes flying back, and will all the force he can muster, kicks Bill Price in the side of his head, dropping him instantly. Even as he lays unconscious,
a trickle of blood can be seen from the left ear of “The Sandman.” The Magician covers to more or less a shocked crowd.

ONE! TWO! THREE!!

Just as his arm is raised in victory, JJ slides into the ring. The Magician quickly slides out of the ring, and begins signing a few autographs for those
who aren’t scared of him from his actions in the match. Nickels still has his mic.

JJ NICKELS: You have no idea how tired I am of pond scum like this calling people like me out.. People want to keep assuming me as this big dumb, overly
aggressive monster, then why not show them the very side I have been able to contain over the last several weeks. You want to see the big man do damage?
Screw it..You got it! Be careful of what you wish for REBEL, because sometimes, it might just f**king happen!

Nickels drops the mic, and carefully unties one of the top turnbuckles, exposing the metal. With ease, he hoists the limp Bill Price into a crucifix position,
and then launches him, like a lawn dart, right into the exposed steel, making the back of his head smack the metal. A collective “ewww” echoes through
the crowd, and then the boos start to swell. JJ confidently stands over Price, perhaps thinking of making more of an example, but then a few cheers sound
from the crowd. Quietly sliding in the ring behind JJ is MDK!! MDK slowly starts getting closer and closer behind JJ, preparing to move in for the kill!
Right as MDK is cocking his arm, he is tapped on the right shoulder, and right when he turns to look, he is BLASTED by a..a.. Magic Wand!?! The Magician
then holds up the stereotypical wand that’s black with the white tip, but then takes off the white tip, and from inside the wand, he pulls out a fairly
thick lead pipe! Nickels laughs as he finds the mic to his mouth again..

JJ NICKELS: What? You really thought you could jump me two times in a row?! Look, I know taking loses are hard, but you really shouldn’t keep messing around
with guys who are better and apparently smarter than the likes of yourself.

As if on cue, The Magician continues his little “reveal.” The mask and cape come off, and he rubs some of the dark eye makeup that was around the eyes,
and standing there, in the frilly dress shirt is none other than “The Iceman” Adam Davis. Davis chuckles, and winks to the hundreds of people showing their
displeasure, but just as MDK starts to stir, Davis lashes down again with the pipe, bouncing it off the back of MDK’s head. Davis lifts MDK to a very wobble
standing base, and then looks to JJ, who as they time it, Davis goes for a leg-sweep at the EXACT same time JJ sends his powerful big boot right into the
face of MDK, the sweep makes fall twice as fast and twice as hard. Davis then can’t help but crack up when he is handed the mic.

ADAM DAVIS: Here we are, ladies and gentlemen! Two of the men that allegedly are some of the most hated men in REBEL Pro. Yet, we are being booed for what
exactly? Me? Putting my spectacular mind and body into action on a charity show? Look, you would have to pay a good eleven dollars at a nearby theater
to get this many twists, turns, action, and well, good looks. We decided to give back to everyone by even being here, and in the process, making sure this
little vermin knows his place in the world. You really think you can push us or pull some bullsh*t on us without any repercussions? F- THAT! We have put
in our time, our energy and paid our damn dues. Its high time that this place gets the enema it deserves by the two of us cleaning out all the SHIT that
is clogging the bowels of this fine company! So you are either with us, or against us, I really don’t care because at the end of the day, you are looking
at the beginning of what will be the most dominant force to ever step into a REBEL ring. Within a few months, we will have ALL THE GOLD, and there isn’t
a thing anyone can do about it. You wanna hate, go right ahead, but we will beat the respect and prestige right out of each and every single person who
crosses us. And as far as your open challenge next week MDK? YOU’RE ON!

A few fans even try and toss their empty drinks towards the ring. Davis and Nickels both raise their arms before making their exit to the back, each taunting
the fans and looking very pleased with what they had accomplished. Meanwhile a few medic hurry out to ringside to check on MDK and “The Sandman.”

——————————————————————————–

“The Nexus One” Rex Caliber & Thomas Young VS Murcielago & Kyle Roberts

Kyle Roberts and Murcielago are already in the ring when the music of Rex Caliber hits the speakers. Caliber and Thomas Young emerge from the back and head
towards the ring, no smiles, no shaking hands with the fans, this is all business. The former Crimes teammates slide into the ring and are rushed by Roberts
and Murcielago! The referee calls for the bell as the four men pair off and trade blows. Young takes a knife edge chop from Roberts. Another chop! A third!
Thumb to the eyes by Young. Young buries his knee into the gut of the former two time World Champion and hurls him through the ropes to the floor. Roberts
lands on his feet, grabs the legs of Young and pulls him to the outside. Murcielago is teeing off on Caliber backing the first ever REBEL World champion
into a corner. Murcielago hooks Rex and gives him a high bail out of the corner to the center of the ring.

On the outside Young tries to Irish whip Roberts into the railing but it’s reversed! Young slams into the railing back first and then takes a clothesline
from Roberts that puts him in the front row! Roberts climbs over the railing and fans scatter for safety as the two men do battle. In the ring Murcielago
shoots Caliber into the ropes but drops his head a second to early. Caliber hangs onto the ropes, plants a kick to the upper body of Murcielago and drops
him with a vicious clothesline. Caliber wastes no time in pulling his foe to his feet, hooking him and delivering a head and delivering a T Bone Rexplex!
Back out into the crowd, Young has stopped Kyle cold with a uppercut into the balls. Thomas grabs a chair and slams it across the back!

Young, with chair in hand, takes several steps back, raises the chair above his head and charges at Kyle only to have Roberts backdrop him onto the hard
floor. Back in the ring, Caliber has slipped something out of his boot. It’s Screwey! The infamous screwdriver first introduced by Static. Rex tries to
jab the screwdriver into the skull of Murcielago but it’s blocked! It’s a battle of wills as Caliber inches the screwdriver closer to the scalp of his
hated enemy. Murcielago drives a knee into the ribs of Rex and pries the screwdriver from his hands. Murcielago jabs the screwdriver into the head of Caliber
and he drops like a brick! Murcielago mounts Rex Caliber and digs Screwey into his forehead. Out in the crowd we hear a loud pop and the camera pans over
to reveal that Roberts has Young locked in his Bear – Tamer! Young is tapping out but it’s no use! It only counts inside the squared circle!

Rex shoves Murcielago off of him and his face is a bloody mess. Murcielago goes again for the screwdriver to the head but Caliber rakes the face! Death
Valley Driver from Caliber! Caliber hurriedly slaps on the Rings Of Rex and yells for Murcielago to tap out! The camera pans over and we see Kyle Roberts
quickly climbing over the guardrail and sliding into the ring. A kick to the face from Roberts breaks up the submission move! Murcielago rolls to the outside
as old foes square off. Roberts takes Caliber up and over with a beautiful snap suplex and floats over into the first pin of the evening. Caliber kicks
out at two! Caliber is getting slowly to his feet and Roberts comes off the ropes and drives rex face first into the mat with his Polar-izer! Another cover
and another two count! Roberts sprints to the ropes and spingboards off the middle rope for his Lionsault! Before he can connect Thomas Young reaches into
the ring and pulls Caliber away from harm!

Roberts hits hard and Young rolls into the ring. He’s favoring his back as he pulls Roberts up. Scoop slam by Young! Legdrop from the former Tag Team Champion!
Rex is back to his feet, his face covered in gore. The duo pull Roberts to his feet and suddenly Murcielago climbs up onto the ring apron, then the top
rope and takes flight! Young sees him coming and drops out of sight but the flying clothesline turns Rex inside out! Kyle too is also knocked on his ass
thanks to the high risk maneuver of Murcielago. The former Carolinas Champion goes for a cover on Rex but gets pulled off by Young who sinks in an Ankle
Pick! Murcielago tries for the ropes but Young drags him away until the pair are in the center of the ring. Murcielago looks ready to tap but is saved
when Roberts nails a forearm shot to the back of Youngs head causing a break!

Roberts grabs Young and tries for a suplex. It’s blocked! Again Roberts tries for a suplex and again it’s blocked, only this time it’s Young who manages
to hit the move. Murcielago is getting to his feet and walks into a overhead release belly to belly suplex from Caliber! The crowd stirs as a figure from
the back rushes down to ringside. It’s Jeff James! James slides into the ring and he has a lead pipe with him. Young pulls Roberts to his feet and holds
him as James buries the pipe into the gut of Kyle! James tosses the pipe to Caliber who in turn uses it to choke Murcielago! James struts around the ring
hurling insults at the pissed off crowd. Young goes to lock in a Bear – Tamer on Roberts! Kyle does his best to fight it but finds himself locked in his
own submission move! Rex pulls off Murcielago and waits for him in the middle of the ring, lead pipe at the ready! Murcielago slowly pulls himself to his
feet and Rex charges! The former Carolinas Champ ducks down and pulls the top rope down with him! Rex goes spilling out of the ring and onto the floor
with a thud!

Roberts grabs the bottom rope and the referee is trying to get a break from Young. James sees Murcielago back on his feet and rushes him. Defcon 1 by Murcielago!
James rolls out of the ring and Young finally releases the hold on Roberts. Young spots Murcielago and goes directly at him! Spinebuster from Murcielago
puts him down! Roberts is getting to his feet and spots the downed Young. Despite the pain, Roberts hits the ropes and nails a Lionsault on a prone Young!
Roberts starts to go for a pin but Murcielago stops him! He holds up one finger to Roberts and immediately a chant of “One More Time!” fills the arena!
Reluctantly Roberts gets to his feet and rushes the opposite ropes. Caliber springs up like a demented jack in the box and clubs Roberts with the lead
pipe! Roberts hits the mat hard and Rex slides inside.

Murcielago ducks a wild swing by Rex and lands a big boot to the face of Caliber! Rex drops the pipe and Murcielago hoists Caliber up onto his shoulders.
Rex is placed on the top turnbuckle and Murcielago nails Calibers own TOTAL ANNILATION! Rex is covered and Murcielago gets a count of two before it’s broken
up by Thomas Young! Young pulls Murcielago to his feet and peppers him with several shot but stiff forearm shots to the head. Roberts is stirring and he
grabs the lead pipe. He bum rushes Thomas Young but Caliber warns him. At the last possible second Young dives out of the way as Roberts clocks Murcielago
with the pipe! A blow to the knee from Young causes Roberts to drop the pipe! A roll up from behind sees Roberts shoulders pinned to the mat! Before Murcielago
can even think of saving his partner he takes a half nelson Rexplex! The referee counts! One! Two! Three!!! Thomas Young picks up the win for his team!
The pro Kyle crowd voice their disapproval, Rex pulls Murcielago out of the ring and the duo start to brawl their way to the back. Jeff James has come to
and slides into the ring. Young and Roberts glare at each other for an intense moment before Kyle sighs and holds out his hand. Young looks at it for a
moment and then quickly shakes his hand! Young departs the ring leaving Roberts alone to soak in the love from the fans.

——————————————————————————–

We are outside of the Arena . We see a cardboard sign on a stake stuck in the ground. The hand printed words on it point the way toward the REBEL-PRO Charity
Auction. As we arrive we see that a smallish crowd is gathered already.

Standing on stage is Montaña Rose, she is holding up an object, we cannot be sure what it is but it isn’t too big. At the microphone is Cuzin Zeke’s Uncle
Elmer.

UNCLE ELMER: Step right up … step right up … step right up
Everyone’s a winner, bargains galore
That’s right, you too can be the proud owner
Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
One-tenth of a dollar
one-tenth of a dollar
we got service after sales

Someone in the crowd raises a hand.

UNCLE ELMER: Sold!

Rosa brings in the next item. It looks like a bottle with an atomizer (Thats a squeeze bulb for the younger crowd out there)

UNCLE ELMER: You need perfume? we got perfume.

Not getting a response, he pulls a cigar band off his finger and holds that up.

UNCLE ELMER: How ’bout an engagement ring? (Barely used)

Still nothing …

UNCLE ELMER: Something for the little lady
something for the little lady
Something for the little lady, hmm?

No one responds and Uncle Elmer sighs. But he continues. Pulling a rabbit’s foot keychain out of his back pocket he holds that up next to the ring and perfume.
UNCLE ELMER: Three for a dollar Remember … All the proceeds go to Charity.

Finally someone bids on it and Montaña walks out to hand the three items to the woman.

UNCLE ELMER: (off the microphone) Real nice girl, Charity.

Rosa turns and motions offstage. From the back steps El Rey de Corizones in his cape and broad brimmed bolero hat.

UNCLE ELMER: You can step right up, step right up

El Rey does a couple of fancy steps then pulls out a Zorro-esq saber and swishes it around.

UNCLE ELMER: That’s right, it fillets, it chops
It dices, slices, never stops
lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn.

El Rey gives Elmer a strange look.

EL REY: Que?

UNCLE ELMER: And it mows your lawn
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair….

Bids start at a dollar, step right up
only a dollar, step right up …

‘Member Folks, All proceeds go to charity … Nice girl, Charity.

Finally we get a few more bids than just one. In fact the crowd seems to be enjoying it. The bidding war starts but after a bit it looks to be between two
people. The Old lady in the third row taps out after $25.00 though and Elmer’s gavel rings.

UNCLE ELMER: SOLD! You Ma’am … Sir … Whatever. Step right up.

As the … flamingly Gay Man takes El Rey by the hand and leads him off stage Elmer whispers …

UNCLE ELMER: You about ta know the meaning of heartbreak … just ‘member King, it’s all for Charity

Rosa nearly collapses, she is laughing so hard. As El Rey is led by her, pleading in his eyes for help, she smiles.

MONTAÑA: Remember Mi Casanova, It’s all for Charity…

EL REY: Muchacha de Niza, Charity.

We follow El Rey for a way as Uncle Elmer continues his spiel. Again we can’t be sure what he’s auctioning off this time but …

UNCLE ELMER: C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon
It gives you an erection
that wins the election
batteries not included …
Step right up
…
you can step right up
…
C’mon step right up
… ‘Member Folks, It’s all for Charity …

SOLD!!

——————————————————————————–

FANS BRING THE WEAPONS MATCH
Impact Inc’s Michael Davidson VS Manny X

Manny X is in the ring, and has been handed several instruments of destruction. He has a golf club in one hand, and a cheese grater in the other. Michael
Davidson, accompanied by Brent Taylor, has chosen to wear a leather, Hannibal style mask. He has brought his own bucket of weapons, carried by Brent Taylor.
He has forks, a machete, and tons of other metallic objects. In his hand is a nail filled baseball bat. Neither man is smiling as the bell sounds. Alan
Stone is the poor soul responsible for referring these two maniacal individuals. . Ring crew attendants collect weapons from the crowd. We have keyboards,
VCR’s, a toy dinosaur, a rake, two shovels, and a tricycle so far. Attendants are now pushing around garbage cans, collecting more items. No lock ups here,
as Manny X gets bum rushed and is in the corner, getting choked across the throat with a bat. Manny X with a kick between the legs and Michael Davidson
staggers back. Manny X charges and smashes the masked covered forehead of Davidson. Davidson lands on his back as Manny X mounts him. He uses the golf
club to choke Davidson now. Davidson fights him off, and lands an elbow strike to the bald head of Manny X. Manny X dismounts from his position and Davidson
rises up. He is thrown a computer Keyboard from Taylor and NAILS Manny X with it. Manny collapses and Davidson with a quick cover. One is all that is counted
before Manny gets up.

Davidson fires with a fork, he had in his jean’s pocket. Manny X gushes blood as Davidson, who never smiles, must in somehow be feeling good about the match.
Manny X blocks a second attempt and boots Davidson in the stomach. A CROSS LEGGED FISHERMAN BUSTER! He keeps him hooked for the pin ONE, TWO, TAYLOR IN
FOR THE SAVE! This isn’t a tag match, and Alan Stone tells Brent to go the back. No DQ’s in REBEL, but a very low threshold for bullshit too. Brent is
on the apron, arguing with Alan Stone. Brent pushes Alan and Alan with all his might, pushes back, knocking Brent to the floor. Brent falls very oddly
on his right hand, and screams out in pain. Alan Stone goes outside to check on Brent. Manny X picks up the toy dinosaur, bouncing it off the head of Davidson.
Davidson wasn’t fazed much and nails a jumping side kick. Davidson picks up the bat, and grinds the nail end into the forehead of Manny X. At this time,
we’d like to bring attention the parents who are telling their kids that it’s all make believe and it’s fake blood. The kids are either crying, or so into
the match that it’s scary. This might be the end of wrestling fund raisers for REBEL! Davidson gives up on torturing Manny X, and realizes the ref is gone.
Alan Stone, the ONLY ref on duty is helping Taylor to the back.

Davidson is yelling at them both, as Manny X grabs a machete from ringside. He goes after Davidson, slicing the arm open. Davidson yells in pain, as Manny
applies an armbar to the bloody arm. He is trying to open the wound further. Manny gets bored and wants to inflict more damage. He grabs a rope out of
the trash can full of weapons. He goes after Davidson, who nails Manny in the stomach. Davidson takes the rope, wraps it around the throat of Manny X.
He throws Manny over the top rope, and is HANGING HIM! The crowd begins to file out of the arena, well the ones with children anyway. The ones who knew
what REBEL was have chose to stay. Around fifty fans remain, as Manny X is dropped to the floor after several minutes of hanging. Manny X is laying on
his back. Davidson goes up top and IMPACT PLAYA MISSES! The blood from the arm dripped onto the turnbuckle and Davidson slipped off. Both men are laying
on the floor, no ref insight and most of the crowd has left. Medical Staff members come out to check on both men, and they are getting stretchers out for
both men. This is how it ends? There’s no telling what will happen in ten days at March Madness!