About This Close

“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers and the crowd immediately begins to laugh, some boo heavily, but the majority are laughing; because they remember what Bubba J did to Gordon not so long ago. Larry has a mic in hand as he steps through the ropes, shoving Jenny Jersey down in his haste, or maybe it was on purpose. Either way, Jenny gives a bit of a squeak as she falls backwards and Gordon just stares down at her, perhaps she was laughing along with the crowd.

“Keep on laughing, chuck it up, enjoy yourselves…”

He smirks.

“Cause at the end of the day, I’m about this close…”

He holds two fingers less than a quarter of an inch apart, for an example.

“From taking back over, its just a formality now keeping me from regaining the control of a company that I own fifty-one percent of. Something about me not being in my right mind, the health issues that I’ve had… the anger issues…”

They all boo and laugh at him still, many mimick eating a burger and fries; it all goes to piss Gordon off.

“But you know what?!”

They are giving him hell and he’s getting pissed extremely quickly and fully.

“What is funny is… that that bald headed son of a bitch, and I’ve met her before… and I know, will never wrestle again.”

He laughs.

“Actually, never say never… but he has about as much chance of wrestling here again as I do of not eating and Jenny Jersey getting on her knees to…”

She screams, he shoves her down again.

“Jenny… please, I wasn’t going to tell them about when you needed that raise so bad to make your car payment. Or that time you needed a bit more to pay the Emergency room doctor because…”

She screams again, in tears; Gordon laughs, he just viagra to lose weight shoves Jenny away(she’s not a fighter).

Get a grip Jenny, they will never know about how you couldn’t afford to feed your little old mama, how you couldn’t take care of her, how you couldn’t pay her Nursing Home bill… and she had to go live on the street… shitting and pissing all over her self… How you begged on your knees… how you opened your mouth… how you were willing to open your le…”

“That’s enuff you fat ass buffet eating blowhard of a sumbitch!”

Gordon spins around.

Gordon: “You can’t come…”

He looks around, but Bubba J isn’t at the backstage entrance, a laughter comes from the speakers.

Bubba J: “Nope, I ain’t there…”

Gordon spins around again, looking for the Ragin’ Redneck everywhere.

Bubba J: “Now, I sat back and watched you belly bump Jenny down… didn’t say nothing cause hell, you ain’t seen your feet in 7 years. You can’t buckle a belt, it boggles my mind how you button your pants or hold your dick to take a piss…”

The crowd is laughing, Gordon is breathing hard and still looking around.

Gordon: “You shu…”

Bubba J: “Noby Moby, ain’t gonna happen any time soon… and your fat ass can’t shut me up. I may be fired…”

Gordon smiles.

Gordon: “And you will remain…”

Bubba J: “I said shut the fuck up Gordon… cause I ain’t through speaking, if I want you to talk I’ll put on a long sleeved rubber glove and shove it up your ass and work you like a puppet… until that time… shut the fuck up.”

Gordon is shocked into silence.

Bubba J: “What I was saying is… that you let little Ms. Jersey go… because… if you touch my gawd damned girlfriend again… if you talk about her mama one more time… if you spread lies about what you claimed to have made her do again…”

Jenny dives out of the ring, scratching Gordon on the cheek as she gets away. Gordon spins to watch her, but Bubba J is right there.

Bubba J:(smiling broadly) “I’ll kick you in the nuts(he does so) and then…”

Trailer Park Trash!

Bubba J rolls over to get right in Gordon’s unconscious face, spitting right on it as he speaks.

(growl type whisper): “I’ll… send… you… to take a nap in the Trailer Park Trash. Gordon, when you wake up… watch this… and don’t fucking do it again. Its coming down to you and me… you’d better believe it.”

Jenny is standing outside of the ring, shaking in fear and humiliation. Bubba J kicks Gordon’s legs apart.

“Jenny, come back here sweety.”

She shakes her head, but Bubba J holds the ropes open for her.

“Come on Sweety, he ain’t gonna mess with you again.”

Linzi Martin: “Oh Jenny, take the oppurtunity! We all are behind you!”

A “Jenny Jersey”(clap, clap, clap clap clap) chant breaks out, turning her a bit embarrassed, but she climbs into the ring. Bubba J holds her hand and whispers in her ear and she shakes her head. Bubba J keeps talking in her ear, the mic picking up the sound, but not the words. After a minute or so, she looks around, hears the cheers growing louder, the fans on their feet clapping, and she quickly gives Bubba J a kiss before following him over to Gordon’s feet. Bubba J walks her up to Gordon’s knee caps and…

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Linzi Martin: “You might not be able to hear me over the crowd… but its… GOOOOOOOOOD!”

Gordon wakes up from the pain, just to receive a punt type of kick to the head from Bubba J. The two(Jenny and Bubba J) climb out of the ring, much to the crowd’s delight and uproarious cheering.

REBEL Pro Aggression Title Match

Marvin Wood versus Mark McNasty(c)

With the Rebel Pro Aggression title on the line, the crowd was really into the entrances of both men, favoring Mark McNasty despite Marvin’s victory at the Kingdom of Death. They start out locking up, Wood using his wrestling prowess to gain an advantage, getting behind McNasty and slamming him with a reverse body slam. Wood floated over and captured Mark in a front chancery. Marvin started getting to his feet along with McNasty who was able to push Wood off into the ropes, as Marvin came back he was flipped over with a power slam. Mark went for a quick cover and only got a one count. When Marvin started getting up, Mark ran at the ropes and came back with a swinging neck breaker, floating over again with a cover, but again only netting a one count. Mark locked Wood in an arm bar to try and wear down his limb, but Marvin was able to slip out of the hold quickly and catch McNasty with a swift kick to the head. Mark pulled back, holding his temple as Wood rolled to his right, getting up. Marvin dashed over at McNasty and caught him with a straight drop kick to the chest, knocking him through the ropes and to the floor, the crow getting behind their fallen champion.

Marvin got out of the ring in pursuit of McNasty and grabbed him by the back of the head, but Mark countered Wood and hit him in the side of the face with a forearm. Mark followed up by slamming Wood’s head into the apron, then grabbed him by the waist and drove him into the thinly padded mat outside. The crowd started cheering for Mark as he was given a crutch by someone in the audience. As Wood was getting up, Mark took a swing for his head and broke the crutch in two over Wood’s cranium. Marvin fell down face first and Mark held the broken crutch up to the applause of the crowd. The crowd started a “Mc-Nas-Ty” chant as McNasty picked up Wood and rolled him back into the ring, thanking the audience member before getting back in as well.

Marvin was trying to create some distance between the two of them as Mark got back in the ring. As McNasty approached, Wood rolled on his back and sent a straight kick at Mark’s leg, causing him to stumble. Wood sat up and hooked Mark’s head, getting him in a small package. The referee made a quick 2 count, but Mark kicked out before three. Both men got to their feet, Marvin a little slower as he was still feeling the effects of the crutch blow. As he started getting up, Mar was already to beat him to the punch, or in this case, beat him to the elbow as he caught Wood in the canadian pharmacy online free shipping back of the head with a stiff elbow. The crowd cheered as Wood collapsed and McNasty rolled him over for the cover, getting a long two count before Wood was able to kick out.

Mark looked slightly annoyed as he picked u Wood, backing him into the nearest corner. Mark drove his shoulder into Wood’s abdomen a few times, wearing down his challenger. McNasty picked him up to the top turnbuckle, getting up and going to lock in a superplex. As Mark tried to flip him over, Marvin hooked the top rope to prevent his demise. Marvin caught Mark in the head with a few elbow blows, dazing McNasty. Wood then quickly hooked his head and jumped down, forcing McNasty straight to the mat with an STO! It isn’t quite the imperfect tense, but it looked quite perfect. After the blow, Wood was able to hook his outside leg and get the 1 2 3!

Winner and New Aggression Champion: Marvin Wood

Shineys and Cake in A Minor

“I realise that I’mma liability.”

This segment opens with those words and this moment, Anna Mathews throwing a ball against the wall. It bounces back in her grasp. The repetition helps her consentrate. She’s talking to somebody. Who? Fuck off. This ain’t a promo.

“Aye haz moments hen I’m goofy und moments when I’m cereal. Sumtimes, eye’s a chatty Kathy. Xcept, ya know, mi name’s not Kathy. Inn dat time, I doan’t know what I’m sayin in all honesty.”

A hidden shrug.

“Buuuut four the most part, Ai keep myself moderatelee unattached. Yif ya think I’m ignoring yoo, odds arr I’z not tring two on purpose. Blame et on my hanging owt wit moody emo cunts starting off. Whatevs. Mi career…um, overall, that ish…goes up n down faster than a yo-yo. I accept this. Mayhaps you’ve notise that olive this ish tru with the vast majrity ov everybody.”

A beat. OMG SHE’S LOOKING AT THE CAMERA!

“But yif I din’t make this big speech an make expectation grow, this hole recordink thing woold bea absewlutely pointless.”

She drops the ball (lolz) and drags out a nice title-sized case from straight outta Hammerspace.

“Sides, it makes cents fer dis ta happen. Vewwy few peepole seems two honestly get where I’m tring too go. Oar rather, where hive been forced to go. Yoo ceem like you can handle itt, soooo I’m just gonna ask.”

A blink. The Queen of the Dodos gets down on one knee and filps open the case where the AoWF Tag Team shiny dances in the light. Pattened headtilt.

“Still wanna bea my taggy partner or wat?”

The camera turns around and Hey! it’s Johnny Kennedy! That guy is awesome! Johnny looks down at the shiny AOWF Title.

Johnny: “That’s…that’s a hell of a request.”

Johnny thinks it over.

Johnny: “It all comes down to regret. I actually happen to have quite a few of them in the AOWF. I regret the whole ‘Johnny Chaos’ debacle. I regret that I never got to bang you or your girlfriend or her sister before you all went and got attached to people.”

Anna shrugs. It’s a pretty legit regret.

Johnny: “I regret ever leaving Victory Wrestling and it crumbling in my absence. I regret jumping into a marriage in my early 20′s with a woman I had only known for a couple months and….well… I’d hate to see ‘turning down an AOWF Title’ show up in my list of regrets especially when it has been offered by a fellow individual who seems to have been labelled as having hit a low point in their career.”

The Dodo Queen acts like she’s been shot in the heart and comically falls down. Kennedy, being a dick, doesn’t seem to notice.

Johnny: “Also one who knows when to speak out against all the bullshit in the AOWF like (CENSORED), (CENSORED) (CENSORED), (CENSORED), and (CENSORED).”

Anna kips up.

Anna: “Oar (CENSORED) (CENSORED) (CENSORED).”

Johnny: “Well, that just goes without saying. You said I get what you’re trying to do, and I think you get what I’m trying to do as well. We’re both a little….fed up with being held back because we happen to speak our minds on occasion and seem to be capable of having an original thought or two every now and again and those are pretty unpopular. We’re…controversial, and like they always say; Controversy Creates…”

Anna: “Cake?”

Johnny: “No it creates….yeah. Actually, I kind of like that.”

Johnny takes the vacant AOWF Tag Title and drapes it over his shoulder.

Johnny: “Anyhoo. Yeah, you’ve got yourself a partner. Strike a pose!”

They do so. It’s awesome. Segment over. Good night, everybody!

REBEL Pro World Title Match

Xan Vaxman versus Matt Stone(c)

Maya Kalis: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and it will be for the Rebel pro World Championship! Introducing first, he is the challenger and the Winner of the Everybody Sucks but Me Tournament, weighing in at two hundred and twenty two pounds, residing in Mexico City, Mexico by way of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada…he is the unprofessional wrestler…Xan Vaxman!

“Punch Em In the Dick” by Juicy Karkass plays in the arena as Xan comes out to a reasonable cheer from the Rebel Pro faithful. Xan waived to a few people as he walked down the ramp, getting into the ring.

Linzi Martin: Here we are, getting ready for the arrival of the Rebel pro World Champion, should be a great match, a lot of history here between these two.

Maya Kalis: And his opponent…weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds, from Ottawa Ontario Canada…he is the Rebel Pro World Heavyweight Champion…Matt Stoooone!

“Sound of Madness” by Shinedown starts playing out as Matt Stone makes his way down to the ring. He holds up his title for the crowd to see, some boo him, some clap out of respect. Matt gets in the ring and hands his title over to the referee after kissing it, possibly for the last time.

Linzi Martin: Both men are in the ring and it looks like we’re about to get started here.

The bell indeed rings and Stone and Vaxman start circling around the ring, saying something inaudible to one another. They lock up, Stone getting the early advantage with a side headlock. An pushes him off at the ropes and when Stone comes back, he knocks Xan down to the mat with a shoulder block. Matt quickly hits the ropes again, Xan realizing this and rolls over as Stone rebounds, Matt jumping over hi t the opposite side of the ropes and as Matt comes back, Vaxman has regained his vertical base and flips Matt over with a hip toss. Stone is quick to his feet and he’s immediately dropped down with a drop kick. Rather than get up, Matt rolls out of the ring and holds up his hands in a t formation for a time out. The crowd starts booing this, Xan just flashes a smile. Matt paces around for a few seconds, catching his cuanto dura el efecto del viagra breath as he slides back into the ring. Xan comes over and grabs a hold of Matt’s head with a side headlock, Matt trying the same trick Xan did by pushing him off, but Vaxman tightens his grip on Stone’s head and stops the momentum. Stone isn’t deterred though, he grabs Xan’s leg and lifts him up, dropping him on the back of his head with a back suplex. Xan releases the hold on impact. Matt goes for a quick cover but barely gets a one count.

Linzi Martin: Both men are looking to get the early advantage here in this World title match.

Stone and Xan are back to their feet, Matt a little faster which allows him to take advantage, first connecting with a toe kick to Xan’s midsection and following that up with a snap suplex. Matt floated over for the cover and again only got a one count. Stone got up quickly, grabbing Xan by the back of the head, but Vaxman was able to free himself with a shot to the gut and a quick uppercut. Matt stumbled backwards and Vaxman charged in, hitting Stone with a big clothesline, sending him sailing out of the ring. Vaxman followed Matt out of the ring this time, wanting to keep the pressure on the champion. Xan called for Stone to get u, and when he did, Xan tossed Stone shoulder first into the steep steps. Matt was dazed after that and was easily set up by Vaxman to get whipped into the steel guard rail. Stone took a wild right hand that was easily avoided by Vaxman and Matt`s arm was grabbed, being pulled straight into the steel ring post. The crowd was starting to cheer as Matt was rolled back inside the ring.

Linzi Martin: Xan seems to be in control here, will he be able to capitalize on this momentum?

When Xan got back in the ring, Stone was struggling to get to his feet. Xan grabbed his head and drove him straight down into the mat with a DDT. Xan rolled Matt over and went for a cover, and got the first two count of the match, but didn’t get the three. Xan picked Stone up and tossed him into the far corner, charging in after him and driving his shoulder right in Matt’s abdomen. Xan then followed up with several right hands, Stone covering up as best he could. Matt went to Xan’s eyes to create some distance, Vaxman backing uo blinking away the pain, he didn’t see Stone on the middle rope who jumped off at Xan, but Vaxman caught him with an atomic drop. Matt selling the pain between his legs, got a straight punch there by the number on contender. Xan’s Dick Punch rang true and Matt fell to the ground. Xan went for the cover and got a near three count, but Stone was able to kick out. Xan looked a little annoyed, but pressed on. He got up and started to untie one of the near turnbuckles, seeing how there were no rules in Rebel, this action was actually being cheered. Stone was getting up gingerly, Vaxman realizing this and facing him, charging in for a knee lift, but Matt sidesteps him and grabs his neck, falling down on his knees, Xan being stretched out over Matt’s back with the Stone Cutter. Rather than go for the cover, Matt just stayed down so that he could catch his breath, Xan holding his back and neck.

Linzi Martin: Matt is looking to retain his title here, could he be forming a come back?

Stone started getting up slowly, calling for Xan to get up. Vaxman was looking around as he was getting u, Stone stalking him from behind. Xan turned and received Matt’s foot in his face, Stone hitting him with the Go Go Gadget Foot. Stone then grabbed his legs and started twisting them around his own leg, turning Xan over into a sharpshooter, or as Stone called it, the Wrath of Khan. Xan called out in pain as Matt wrenched down on his lower back. Xan crawled to the bottom rope, but there was no rope break so Xan had to improvise. Vaxman started crawling under the bottom rope, using the ropes to help separate himself and Stone. Matt released the hold on his own, trying to drag Xan out to the center of the ring, but Vaxman was able to counter with an inside cradle when Matt had dragged him away from the ropes. Fortunately for canadian pharmacy spam stop Matt, he was able to kick out before three and avoid losing his title on that exchange. Matt and Xan got up after that, Xan a little quicker on the draw and hit Stone with a knee lift. Matt was doubled over as Xan got him in a front chancery, flipping him over on his back with a Northern Lights Suplex! Xan bridged the hold as the referee got down to make the count. Between the 2 an 3 count, Matt rolled his right shoulder off the mat, but the referee wasn’t in the right position and counted the 3! The bell sounded and the crowd erupted for Xan. Matt sat up confused, starting to talk to the referee right away, looking to convince him to call it off, but he didn’t. Xan was handed the World title and stared down at it longingly before holding it above his head.

Linzi Martin: Matt got his shoulder up, this match should not have ended like this!

Maya Kalis: Ladies and Gentlemen…the winner of the match and NEW Rebel pro World Champion…Xan Vaxman!

Xan got on the middle rope, holding up his title to more applause when we hear a voice from off screen

???: Hold it, stop everything

The crowd and Xan look down the rampway to see Larry Gorden coming out on the apron with a microphone in his hand

Larry Gordon: Now I realize that not everyone is perfect, but in my company I won’t stand for any controversy in my company. I’m sorry Xan, but we all saw that Matt did indeed get his shoulder up before the three count and because of this, I must over rule my referee and say this match will continue

The crowd booed the announcement as Larry headed back where he came from, Xan looking crestfallen, but he knew he had to re focus quickly. The bell sounded and Xan turned to Matt, quickly getting hit with the C-c-c-c-combo Breaker! Xan fell backwards and Stone went for the cover, hooking his far leg. The referee came as fast as he could to make the count, getting the 1 2 3-NO! Xan kicked out of the Combo Breaker!

Linzi Martin: What a series of events we’ve just seen, and we still have a World title match going on!

Stone was shocked, seeing Xan kick out of his move, Xan really did want this win. Matt picked up Vaxman slowly, locking his head and swinging it down for a neck breaker. Matt went for another cover but only got a two count again. Stone was annoyed, getting back to his feet. Matt sent a few kicks at Xan as he struggled to get back to his feet. Matt went for another kick, but Xan caught his foot, looking Stone dead in the eyes. The crowd was starting to get in to it as Matt was hit with a right hand, then a second one. Xan tossed his foot down and caught him with a third, overhand right fist to his face, Stone backing up dazed. Like earlier in the match, Vaxman charged at Stone and went for a clothesline, Matt ducking down and flipping Vaxman over the top rope to the floor! The crowd gasped as Xan’s foot got stuck on the top rope, his body shifting in mid-air, ending up upside down and ending up landing on his head and neck! Xan was laying motionless on the ground outside. The referee got out of the ring as Stone fell to his knees to catch his breath. After checking on the outside, Xan wasn’t responding to anything the referee was saying. The official held up an x sign to the back and a few doctors came out, bringing a stretcher with them. The referee was speaking with Maya as the doctors checked on Xan and nodded their head, setting a neck brace on him.

Maya Kalis: It has been determined that Xan is no longer able to compete in this match so the winner of the match by forfeit…and STIIILL Rebel Pro World Champion….Matt Stooone!

Matt rolled out of the ring with his title that was left inside the ring, looking down at Xan as well. Matt was asking questions, the camera unable to pick up the dialogue. Stone didn’t loom happy as Xan was placed on the stretcher. They started wheeling him out of the arena, Matt walking with him.

One final shot of Xan being wheeled to the back as we fade out of Aggression