*****We’re Starting To Miss Simon*****

Shawn West: That’s right. I’ve changed the game itself.

As we fade in to the show, the new General Manager of REBEL Pro, Shawn West, kicks his feet up onto his desk and nods in Jeremy Gold’s direction. Gold has a bulletproof vest on and he’s holding a green translucent gun… Which is a water gun, in case you didn’t realize. He has a chair in front of the door, and Rupert the Kangaroo is also wearing a security uniform much to your lulz.

Jeremy Gold: You’re gonna get us all killed.

Shawn West: You need to lighten up.

Jeremy Gold: Next thing you’re going to say Lisa doesn’t show up enough.

West pauses mid sip into his whiskey.

Shawn West: You know, you might be onto something there.

Gold shudders at the thought of Lisa’s foot breaking his face again.

Jeremy Gold: You can’t be serious.

West sips his whiskey and winks as we fade.

*****Sit Down With Dink*****

We cut to an unknown backstage area that is draped in black velvet and made to look like a very elegant interview setting. There are large lamps book ending two leather chairs and a black granite coffee table. On the coffee table there are two mugs. The camera pans out as Marvin Humperdink takes a seat with a black dossier in his hand. He sits and then presses play on a near by boom box.

‘SuperBass’ by Nicki Minaj cues up and Humperdink looks startled. He looks off camera, apparently receiving directions.

???
Track two idiot!

Humperdink presses the skip track button and ‘Whatever Happened to my Rock ‘N Roll?’ by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club cues up. Finale walks onto the scene wearing black Doc Martins, ripped blue jeans and an Obey t-shirt. He is shooting a Roman candle all over the place, even shooting at Humperdink. He then discards it and sits down as Humperdink fades his music out.

Marvin Humperdink
Hello ladies and gentlemen. I am Rebel Pro Correspondent-

Finale
Uh…Junior Correspondent.

Marvin Humperdink
Yes, Jr. Correspondent Marvin Humperdink and I am joined by AOWF Free Agent, Super Shredder himself…Finale. Thanks for joining me.

Finale snarls.

Finale
You should be happier! This interview is going to make your career Dink. Just like I told you last week, they might even put you on the payroll after this.

Marvin Humperdink
Well I want to finish school fi-

Finale makes an irritating buzzer sound.

Finale
No one cares Dink. Let’s talk about me.

Humperdink hastily looks through his dossier.

Marvin Humperdink.
Of course. Um…well I guess we’ll start with what exactly you’re doing. You are floating from promotion to promotion but have yet to sign a real contract. The people want to know; where is this StabFest ’11 going?

Finale smirks and takes a sip from his mug.

Finale
I’m glad you asked that Dink. What is the endgame of StabFest ’11? Well I could lie and tell you some concise, reasonable answer but the fact of the matter is that I’m not sure exactly Dink. It all depends on how tonight goes…

He raises an eyebrow to the camera suggestively and turns back to Dink.

Marvin Humperdink
And what exactly is going to happen tonight Mr. Shredder?

The Free Agent laughs.

Finale
Oh tonight is when everything comes full circle for me. If everything goes as planned, after the show has ended tonight, I will be a short time away from redeeming myself.

Marvin Humperdink
To be honest Mr. Shredder, I don’t think you can win back the AOWF fans in just one night. It will take a lot to redeem your actions as of late in their eyes.

Finale lets out a large ‘Ha!’ before lighting a cigarette. He blows the smoke directly in Dink’s face, causing him to erupt in a coughing fit.

Finale
I don’t want to win these fans over. They can all lick my sack because I am in the AOWF to redeem my win loss record and nothing else. I stand by my comments, I stand by my actions and I stand by my talent. Love me or hate me, the mouth breathers fuel me and I don’t care what kind of reaction I get. As long as there is one.

The crowd boos on command but Finale can’t hear it, he’s backstage. Duh.

Marvin Humperdink
So what happens next? Where does Finale land?

Super Shredder stares at the journalist we a menacing expression, he’s not impressed.

Finale
You know what Dink? There is a reason that you aren’t a real reporter yet. I give you a week to prepare and you’re shaking like a leaf. You could ask me about Emily Corlen’s miraculous title win or how I’m about to face the Victory Wrestling World Champion later this week but no. You ask me where I’m going to sign and I tell you Dink; just watch. I’m going to give you another chance at this interview thing next week, after you see what I do tonight and you had better have some better questions.

Marvin Humperdink
…or what?

Finale
Or this happens again but about twenty times worse…

Finale then smashes the mug over Dink’s head out of nowhere, sending the liquid contents all over the set. He then gets the kid up and sets him up for the Stripper’s Real Name. Finale looks right into the camera and winks before droppking Dink neck first on the granite coffee table. With the poor young journalist down and out, Finale slowly walks over to the boom box, presses play and exits stage left to the sound of his theme music.

We pan down to Dink laying on the floor, holding the back of his head. The dossier lays beside him, open. There is a page that reads; “THINGS TO ASK ME DURING OUR SWEET INTERVIEW” 1) Why are you so good looking? 2) Why are people so jealous of your inhuman amount of talent? 3) Is it true that Alexis Sykes sent you a text about changing her sexuality in order to be with you? etc. etc. We fade out to a shot of the hand written prompt sheet.

*****Gabe Shelley versus Jimmy Henderson*****

Linzi Martin: Well folks we’ve got Gabe Shelley in the ring, but Jimmy Henderson is no where to be seen.

Larry Gordon: From what I’ve heard he was delayed in getting here tonight, and it seems as though he may not be able to make it.

Linzi Martin: Does that mean Gabe automatically wins?

Larry Gordon: No of course not, it just means we won’t get to see this match tonight.

*****Tables For Two*****

The bell rings but the attention isn’t on the Shelley in the ring, it’s on the announce table! Finale has made his way through the crowd and is standing on the table with a microphone. One hand is in his pocket. Shelley has rolled out of the ring to and now has his eyes on Super Shredder.

Finale
Hey bud. Great match.

He starts clapping. Sarcasm, much?

Finale
I bet you’re wondering why I’m out here Mad Dogg. Seeing as how you are mildly retarded, I’ll break it down for you real quick.

He hops down off of the announce table, one stand still in his pocket. He approaches Shelley, who’s on his defense.

Finale
Don’t be so uptight Shelley, I’m not here to mash you. I’m here to offer you an opportunity. A giant opportunity actually. An opportunity for a partnership…

Finale looks out into the crowd as they boo his idea and he mouths ‘What? I’m serious!’ before turning his attention back to Shelley.

Finale
I’m being honest Mad Dogg. I told Dink earlier that tonight my career will come full circle and that means teaming up with you again. We teamed up in BWF, you were the owner, I was the champion and we never truly got to explore where that tandem could go. We could have touched the stars Mad Dogg, I’m telling you.

Super Shredder does his best to look hopefully and sincere as Shelley stares at him. canadian rx pharmacy juvederm marVel looks out into the crowd and the consensus from the fans is that Finale is full of shit.

Finale
You and I could take Rebel Pro by storm, Mad Dogg. As a team, we could really take this company by surprise…

Shelley smiles and shakes his head but Finale cold cocks him. The hand hidden in his pocket was loaded with a brass knuckles! The crowd boos as Shelley goes down in a heap on the outside.

Finale
Surprise!

Finale then starts stomping away on the former BWF World Champion. He gets Shelley to his feet and whips him hard into the ring barrier. Shelley’s back smashes against it but before he knows what happened, Finale charged and nailed him with the One Foot in the Grave, sending Shelley into the crowd, landing in the front row. Finale retrieves the microphone.

Finale
Just kidding folks. I’d never team up with this piece of shit. But when I saw that he signed with Rebel Pro, I knew that we just had to hook up sooner or later. I decided that it would be sooner. So next week, me and Blazenwing’s Bitch are going to go one on one in an Ultimate Tables match!

He steps over into the crowd as Shelley gets to his feet. Finale then charges and nails Shelley in the head with the microphone. This staggers marVel backwards but another big right hand loaded with brass knuckles put him down. Finale then gets back on the microphone.

Finale
What that means is that we are going to go for fifteen minutes to see who can put their opponent through more tables. Why exactly? Well I want multiple opportunities to break this puppy.

Finale puts Shelley down with another microphone shot and then he lifts him up onto the ring barrier. Both men stand up there for a moment until Finale sets Shelley up. He lifts him and then jumps from the ring barrier to the announce table, putting Shelley through it with the Stripper’s Real Name! The table shatters and both men lay in the rubble for a few moments.

The Buffalo Butcher is the first to get to his feet and when he does, he takes the microphone and exits through the crowd.

Finale
So yeah, next week? There’s gonna be a lot more of that. Next week Shelley, I’m the end and you’re fucking dead.

‘Whatever Happened to My Rock N’ Roll’ cues up as Finale leaves through the crowd, earning high velocity garbage being tossed in his direction.

*****Handicap Match(recap)*****
*****Case Filed Rockets versus Vincent Black*****

The match started off strong for Vincent Black, despite his nagging injuries to the contrary. Using his size and power advantage he managed to keep CFR at bay for a good while, by sending Rocky Logan out of the ring with an over the top rope choke slam where Logan landed on the steel steps. He managed to get it down to just him and Justin Case for a moment. Case used his high flying ability to land a few good shots on Black, including a missile dropkick off the top rope which took Black down and got him a quick 2 count. After a few minutes of back and forth, Logan was still recovering on the outside of the ring and Black hit his New Hope finisher on Case but Logan breaks the count at two and a half. Finally Rocky Logan pulls out all stops, using much of his MMA training to get to Black while Case continued to come off the top rope with an aerial assault each time Logan brought Black down. Make no mistake that Black fought them off at every turn but eventually the two of them proved too much to handle on his own as they laid him out with the HOHIP and pinned for the 1, 2, 3!

Winners: Case Filed Rockets in 10:15

*****REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Match*****
*****Bubba J versus Virgil Keenan©*****

Instead of fading back to ringside, we come into Shawn West’s office where he’s penning what we imagine to be his memoirs. He notices the camera crew

Shawn West: Sadly, Bubba J is still feeling the effects of his injuries sustained during competition in Victory Wrestling.

Rupert The Kangaroo in security uniform and all, nods.

Shawn West: That means, amongst a myriad of other cancellations this week, this title match cannot happen.

Cue Jaice Wilds.

Jaice Wilds: I’ll take his spot.

West shrugs.

Shawn West: Sure, but you haven’t heard about the new rules I’ve-

Before he can even finish, Jaice runs off to get ready for the match.

Jeremy Gold: Boy I hope you know what you’re doing.

Gold shoots off his water gun, wetting the floor.

Shawn West: Go get me a sandwich and be useful for once.

Gold frowns.

Jeremy Gold: Yes, sir…

*****REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Match*****
*****Jaice Wilds versus Virgil Keenan©*****

Keenan smirks as he moves in on his opponent, low to the ground, Jaice matches and both of them move in close reaching out in a test. The scene looks like something out of the Olympics as both men pat at the wrists of the other, looking for an opening. Keenan takes a grip at Jaice and suddenly breaks for the legs attempting a takedown! Jaice shifts ALL his weight onto Keenan and puts his legs back, bringing Keenan into a front facelock. The counter pushes Keenan flat to the canvas but doesn’t last long as Keenan breaks the fingers locked under his chin and rolls, pushing himself up and pounces on top of his opponent, Jaice, whom had made the appropriate movements, in a waist lock. Jaice quickly breaks the fingers just as easily as Keenan previously had and wraps around in a switch for his own waist lock. Keenan brings both men to a vertical before tucking one arm in under Jaices locked arms. Backing into the ropes Keenan uses the rebound’s momentum and the break in the

fingers to flip Jaice to the side by his arm in a unique looking arm drag/hiptoss. Keenan tries to combo into an armbar but Jaice doesn’t let it happen as he rolls away and jumps to his feet. Keenan meets him and both of them lock up harshly into an elbow collar.

Keenan swiftly turns the lock up into a leg sweep, dropping into a pin. Jaice pushes out quickly before the ref can much more then drop to the mat. In pushing Keenan off he spurts back to his feet finding himself met by a drop toe hold slamming him to the mat before he knows what’s going on. Keenan follows up rolling along Jaice’s body ending in a side headlock. Jaice struggles in the hold but swiftly moves himself back to his feet and nails in a few elbow shots before he brings both men into the ropes and whips Keenan across the ring. Keenan rebounds and nearly gets nailed by a clothesline but ducks the maneuver and stops dead directly behind the challenger. Jaice turns not wanting his back to the opponent and finds himself dropped to the mat in a side headlock takedown! Being on his back this time around Jaice tosses up his legs and wraps Keenan into a head scissors. Keenan struggles in the move before positioning himself correctly where he places his feet on Jaices ankles, pushing down on them and the knees with his hands. The attempt pries apart the legs and Keenan slowly raises his head with a smirk, looking at Jaice who doesn’t hold the same cocky look as he did earlier. This brings Keenan confidence until Jaice suddenly smirks, punching Keenan straight in the face putting him back in the head scissors!

Keenan, a little angry from the hold, moves himself around and looks for another way out. Finding his next method the Champ plants his hands and tries to handstand, looking to use the momentum of dropping back down to pull his head out. Jaice simply stops the hold and pulls his legs back, plowing both feet into the shoulders, bringing Keenan down on his back In a pin. The ref manages a 1 count before Keenan claps his feet together and nails Jaice in the side of the head. Keenan rolls backwards and Jaice spurts to his feet only for Keenan to drop him back down with a beautiful dropkick. Jaice scurries to his feet too soon as he staggers a bit and finds himself pushed into the ropes and whipped across the ring. Keenan goes half way and awaits Jaice’s return with his arm outstretched, looking for what seems like a hip toss. This doesn’t pan out as Jaice merely hooks the ropes and stops himself. Keenan snarls as he charges, only for Jaice to drop down hooking the top rope, sending Keenan in all his momentum to the outside. Well, that’s what Jaice thinks. Keenan with both hands on the tops ropes regains himself as if he was in a Battle royal and gets his footing on the apron. Jaice walks away from the ropes, pointing to his head in a sign that he is too smart for Keenan, however, the oncoming irony about to set him straight.

Jaice doesn’t follow advice with the fans bellowing in reply. Keenan takes advantage and springboards off the top rope swinging himself around the side of Jaice with the hand in the air. Hooking the arm, Keenan hits the mat and more or less slams Jaice to the mat with a high throttle arm drag! The Champ takes advantage and chains through the interesting move with an armbar. Jaice is shaken but is brought back to alertness with the sting of the arm submission. Shaking off the impact Jaice tries to move to his feet and does so successfully, irish whipping the champ across the ring. Taking note out of Jaice’s playbook Keenan hooks the ropes. Jaice charges and déjà vu looks just about to set in when Keenan drops the top rope. Jaice see’s it coming and smirks stopping and waving his finger at Keenan who gets a running boot for his effort. Keenan drops through the second rope and rolls himself to the outside looking into the ring at his opponent.

Keenan moves to get back in and Jaice merely lets him, backing off. Back in the ring Keenan loses his smirk and the ‘Game face’ breaks in. This is the point where Keenan definitely will be taking things to a farther extreme. Jaice stays cocky as he moves in to lock up with Keenan once again. Keenan quickly takes advantage and pushes Jaice into the turnbuckle, winding back and slapping in a chop. The fans ‘oOo’ along with the chop as it is followed up by another and another. Jaice winces as he gets slapped across the chest, however, counters, grabbing Keenan and switching their places in the corner. Jaice returns the chops as stiffly as he can manage and Keenan winces in the same way Jaice had. Looking to regain himself Keenan switches up once again for another few chops. Keenan speeds up and gains the upper hand quickly, only to be halted in one foul swoop as Jaice simply pokes Keenan in the eye! Jaice jumps up onto the second rope and leaps, nailing a face smothering spring board bulldog! Jaice rolls Keenan over and hooks for a pin. A speedy 2 count and Keenan kicks out! Jaice doesn’t stop to complain or question and drags Keenan to his feet, grabbing Virgil into a back suplex, lifting him up for a belly to back! Keenan lands on his feet countering out of the attempt. Quickly Keenan grabs Jaice in a reverse waist lock and pushes him into the ropes and rolls back into a rollup, bridge!

ONE…..
TWO…..
Kick-out!

Pushing out of the pin Jaice uses the ropes to quickly get to his feet. Keenan had rolled away a bit and done the same, leaving both men to lock up in the middle of the ring again. Keenan gains the advantage as normal bringing Jaice into an arm wrench, twisting the arm. Jaice makes a counter into his own arm wrench, rolling forward and quickly twirling. Not to be outdone Jaice, moves into a hammer lock and tries to outdo the self proclaimed leader of the new wave. Keenan won’t allow it as he pushes back and moves into his very own hammerlock. Keenan smiles at Jaice as he squirms in the hold, trying to hit an elbow. Keenan catches the elbow viagra tips and locks in a half nelson! Jaice can’t respond to the move in time and Keenan lifts him up and goes for a slam! Half-Nelson slam! NO, Arm bar DDT! Keenan makes a small grunt of pain as Jaice counters shifting into a fujiwara armbar! Keenan claws the mat as Jaice wrenches the arm and works over the shoulder of the Champ. They are both center ring, which leaves no room to move much of anywhere, but Keenan tries nonetheless. Virgil starts to squirm his body towards the rope, and in fear that Keenan might actually make it, Jaice breaks the hold. Keenan isn’t safe however, as Jaice kicks the arm and drags the man to his feet, pulling him to the ropes in violent tugs. Once at the ropes Jaice takes Keenan’s arm and wraps it around the top rope, using the rope as a pivot point for an armbar. With one brunt pull Keenan pulls back and nails Jaice in the face with an elbow. The move dazes the champ as he turns around holding his nose. Keenan grabs Jaice in a half-nelson running forward in a half nelson bulldog! The Champ keeps the half-nelson in and turns Jaice over in classic mat wrestling fashion.

ONE….
TWO……
KICK-OUT!

Keenan looks to take advantage of Jaice being on the mat and heads for the top rope. Climbing up he perches himself and takes aim, except Jaice is already to his feet and makes a charge! Keenan leaps off and jumps over Jaice, avoiding the attack. Jaice turns around and gets nailed by a stellar armdrag that dazes the challenger. Jaice slowly starts to move to his feet but doesn’t seem to be moving fast enough for the champ who grabs him into a front chancery and snaps back in a snap suplex! Keenan twirls his legs and moves to his feet for what looks like another suplex. Keenan delivers as he lifts for another suplex! Keenan stalls it! Keenan holds Jaice in the air and walks forward keeping Jaice balanced. Fans start counting along with the stall.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7!
8!!
9!!!
10~!!!
SLAM!

Keenan doesn’t go for the cover as he spurts the ropes and returns with a swift legdrop, turning into a cover.

1….
2….
Kick-out!

Keenan gets up and looks at the ref and gets in his face. As he’s mouthing off Keenan gets caught off-guard as Jaice grabs him from behind in a schoolboy roll up!

ONE..
TWO..
THRE-Kick-out!

Keenan spurts back to his feet after kicking out and Jaice does much the same snorting and licking his lips. Keenan moves back and Jaice smiles as he can almost see the gears turning in his head and his emotions getting the better of him, a clear advantage. Keenan shares an evil eye to the ref before he circles and locks up with the champion. Jaice gains the first advantage, perhaps showing Keenans weakness in emotions. Jaice rolls back and kicks away one hand of his opponent and pushes himself back up into an arm wrench. Jaice works over the arm some more. Jaice wilds keylocks the arm and brings it over Keenans head, placing his leg strategically behind Keenans knee. Keenan finds himself slowly being pushed back into an arch, more and more until he finds himself in a bridging position.

Keenan shows great strength as he holds himself up and actually starts to fight back, but not wanting to be shown up, Jaice kicks the back of the leg sweeping Keenan flat to his back. Quickly following up Jaice drops a leg on the arm before getting back to a vertical and dropping a knee onto the arm. Keenan holds his arm next to his body in pain, but Jaice pries it away and tugs him towards the corner. Jaice sets him up in the corner before kneeing him a few times to daze him for the oncoming move. Jaice moves across the ring and the fans start up the chant.

Fans: JAICE!! JAICE!!

With that Jaice runs across the ring and nails Keenan across the cheek with his boot, catching himself in the ropes. Jaice stays there and milks the cheers that are actually for him as he hits the boot. Keenan holds his face in pain as he kicks at the mat.

Jaice taunts the crowd a bit as he gets off the ropes, grabbing Keenan by the foot as he does. Jaice drags Keenan center ring and drops down for a pin attempt.

1..
2..
Kick-out !

Jaice looks displeased as he gets to his feet and lifts Keenan up with him, looking to add more to the damage. This doesn’t work as Keenan drops to his knees and hits a jaw breaker on the challenger. Dazing Jaice, Keenan runs to the ropes and returns nailing a bulldog knocking Wilds to the mat. Not stopping there Keenan runs the ropes and returns with a senton dropping quickly on Jaice’s back. Jaice doesn’t look like he’s about to stay down and Keenan stalks him waiting for him to get to his feet. Jaice half way up, finds out why as Keenan spurts forward and locks in a half-nelson, pulling Jaice to a vertical. He looks like he’s about to launch into a suplex when a well placed elbow buys the champ enough time to perform a standing switch. Jaice chained the move bringing Keenan into a full-nelson, locking the submission on tight! Keenan struggles in the hold as Jaice pressures down tight on the back of the neck. Keenan doesn’t let himself fall victim to the move and thrusts backwards hard and rams the turnbuckle knocking the grip loose. Keenan repeats the smash until he’s free. Jaice is dazed in the corner as Keenan runs across the ring and turns around running back smashing Jaice with a running European uppercut!

Jaice staggers out of the corner and right into Keenan’s grasp as he Irish whips the challenger across the ring. Jaice is about to hit the opposite side when he takes the ropes and leaps up and over a charging Virgil. Taking his opportunity, Jaice scoops up Virgil and drops him on the turnbuckle with snake eyes! Keenan staggers out of the ropes holding his face as Jaice runs the ropes and comes back nailing a perfect flying forearm! Keenan hits the mat and holds his head, rolling on the mat a bit. Jaice stands back up and staggers on his feet a bit. Jaice points to the top turnbuckle and heads towards it, slowly climbing up, glancing back a little, looking down into the ring at his opponent. He’ll end it here!

Jaice pats his knee for a moment before spitting to the side. Standing up straight he looks down at his target.. ONLY FOR KEENAN TO PUSH THE REF INTO THE ROPES! The Ref hits the ropes and Jaice is left to fall directly down upon his beloved family jewels. The Ref looks at Keenan and scolds him for touching a official as Keenan staggers to the turnbuckle, grabbing Jaice by the neck and the pants, tossing him off the top rope and into the center of the ring! Jaice holds his back in pain as he kicks at the mat, trying to bring himself to his feet. Keenan smirks as he stalks the challenger. Jaice starts to rise to his feet and turns into a huge boo- Jaice dodges back and Keenan slams the mat with his foot, trying to catch his viagra and cialis together balance. Jaice turns Keenan around, booting him in the stomach as he pulls him into a standing head scissors! PILE DRIV- KEENAN TRIPS HIM AND QUICKLY LOCKS IN A TEXAS CLOVER LEAF!

-NO! Jaice kicks Virgil back away and scrambles from the ring. The ref is suddenly summoned by the time keeper. Jaice and Virgil ignore it as Wilds finally introduces the first weapon into the match. Wilds who is fed up with the technical match grabs a fan’s wilfully given up chair to the delight of every one in the arena who cheer the challenger on! Keenan Looks worried but tells Jaice to bring it on. With that Wilds is in the ring with the chair in hand.

DING DING DING!
Jaice stops confused as the ring announce pipes up.

Jenny Jersey: “This bout has been declared a draw due to an expired time limit.”

Jaice: “Time limit what! What the fuck Rebel doesn’t have Limits! What the fuck IS THIS!”

Jaice drops the chair and rolls out of the ring, yelling his head off at the time keeper, ref and announcer in unison. They all try to explain what’s going on but he just won’t listen. The fans are banging on the side of the barricade and a chorus of boo’s and booming down on the ring. Virgil looks just as confused as he retrieves his belt.

Jaice: “Do you assholes have any idea how this place works? We’ve never have time limit draws, ring that bell and let me get back in there and win my belt.”

Suddenly in the middle of his rant a voice echo’s over the sound system.

Shawn West: Not so fast, Jaice.

Shawn West steps out onto the entrance ramp, handing off his glass of whiskey to a janitor who he then pushes right back behind the curtain.

Shawn West: I tried to tell you before you ran out of my office that I have begun to institute a new set of rules into REBEL Pro. One of those are time limits on matches.

The crowd boos, and Jaice looks on frustrated.

Shawn West: See. Look at what happened to Vincent Black a few weeks ago, Bubba J. Even Lisa Seldon, they all got or nearly got terribly injured. And I can’t have the best stars in the entire AoWF being injured on my watch because some fans want to see people get stabbed in the confines of a ring.

The crowd boos him, cause we like seeing people get stabbed in the confines of a ring! D’uh!

Shawn West: But clearly over the weeks, you and Virgil there have had some really entertaining clashes. So, here’s the deal guys. At Hell O Ween… Virgil Keenan will defend his REBEL Pro Aggression Championship in the ultimate time limit match.

The crowd stand up in anticipation.

Shawn West: In an IRON MAN match!

Larry Gordon: Oh my!

The crowd erupts into cheers as Jaice looks back at Virgil and both men nod.

Shawn West: I thought so.

West drops the microphone and walks backstage, sipping his whiskey as Jaice and Virgil stare down.

*****Shenanigans! This Time, With More She!*****

Mikey Massacre is walking backstage, minding his own business and generally ignoring everyone nearby as the scuttle out of his way. He then rounds a corner and passes by a window, which is about the extent of what he immediately remembers when Lisa Seldon charges in from the side with a high Yakuza Kick to the side of his head, snapping it to the right and sending him through the glass which shatters against the force.

Lisa then backs up as staff members swarm, keeping the two apart and pushing Lisa from the scene.

Lisa Seldon: See you at the pay per view, Mikey! Can’t wait!

The camera watches as Lisa is pulled from the scene and then flips back to Mikey, pushing off staff members as he fights back to his feet. He then runs a hand through his hair that comes back red, to which he calls out in anger and then punches the nearest wall. Staff step back but keep him surrounded, as he stumbles dizzily back through the hole.

*****Dodo-A-Gogo versus Style Clash*****

Not ones for waiting around, the match starts with Lisa taking Taboo out of the ring with a Yakuza Kick while Anna puts Chad down with a Dropkick through the knee. Chad then gets up to all fours, just in time for both Dodos to come at him from the sides and score with a duo-Dodo Dropkick, sandwiching his head in-between. The two then jumped back up on opposite sides of him, where Anna hopped over his prone body, feed Lisa a foot and allowed herself to be tossed into the air and down through a stunning Phoenix Splash across his back. Anna then rolls him for the cover.

1

2

Chad kicks out and Taboo pulls Lisa out to the floor, leaving Anna and Chad alone. Anna gets Chad to his knees but he sweeps out her legs and then pulls himself into a corner to gather his thoughts. Anna takes after him but Chad steps out before she can connect, grabs her arm and then wings her to the opposite corner. Chad then follows but Anna hits the buckles and keeps on moving up their face before arching into a backflip over Kurtis and to the mat. Anna lands safely and then spreads her legs as she drops to the mat to avoid a Clothesline. Anna then tries a no look leap frog as he comes the other way, but Chad catches her on a shoulder. He then looks to slam her but Anna rolls off to one side, catches an arm and sends him away with an Armdrag.

Chad gets to his knees in time to duck a kick and catch her leg. He then flips Anna forward but she cartwheels out and comes up standing. Anna then turns but gets caught with a Sunsetflip and taken down for the pin. The referee gets down for the cover but Chad just uses it as a setup and pulls Anna back to her feet in a standing headscissors.

Linzi Martin: CK Destroyer.

The fans jump up as Chad flips through the move, but the cheers rise when Anna throws herself hard into it and puts her hands against his thighs, allowing her to end up doubled over on her feet when Chad hits the mat. The former triple crown winner is momentarily flustered and doesn’t quite get his hands up in time to block as Anna leaps forward and rattles his brain with a knee.

Anna then lets the champ struggle to his feet before firing off a barrage of all the strikes in the world, ending with a kick that turns him the other way. Anna takes him down from behind with a Legsweep and rolls out of the way as Lisa leaps in from the front, sinks her heels into his face and drives it to the mat.

Lisa then jumps up and forms a step with her hands to give Anna a leg up before giving her the old cheerleader push into the air, Allowing Anna to spin, dive and crash through Chad with the 630 Splash.

Larry Gordon: And Anna flattens him with the Slash and Burn.

Anna then hooks the first leg that pops up while Lisa blocks Taboo from getting back in the ring.

1

2

3!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match, Anna Mathews and Lisa Seldon… DODO… A… GOGO!!!!

As they enjoy yet another win, from out of the crowd leaps a masked man! Lisa and Anna watch him, but he seems to be paying more attention to Taboo. Lisa and Anna walk off with their wins and belts as it were, but this masked man stalks Taboo.

Larry Gordon: That guy looks very familiar.

The masked man holds up a barbed wire kendo stick and then slides into the ring. Taboo gets to his feet but is quickly cracked over the face with the weapon, as this masked man unleashes a storm of shots with his barbed wire kendo stick.

Linzi Martin: Wait a minute.

The man drops the kendo stick and heads to the top rope. And off he comes, with a flying head butt from the top rope that has Taboo shaken on the canvas. Chad Kurtis is finally up and aware, but it’s too late as the masked man slides out of the ring and holds his arms up high.

Larry Gordon: That…. I RECOGNIZE THAT MOVE! THAT’S-

Linzi Martin: We’re out of time folks! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

The show fades with one last shot of this masked man… Who oh who could be he be?!

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Case Filed Rockets defeat Vincent Black and we all get drunk
Virgil Keenan and Jaice Wilds finish in a No Contest and the rematch is set!
Dodo-A-Gogo defeats Style Clash, and a mysterious mystery guy attacks Taboo!

*****Previously Recorded*****

Joe Louis Arena
Backstage
1426, Monday

The scene changes to a locker room door, one that reads “Larry Gordon” on the nameplate. We then see a hand reach down, gently turning the knob on the door and opening it slightly. The camera peeks in, we can see Larry Gordon napping on the couch within his office.

Male Voice: *Whispering* Okay. You two, quietly, put him on the gurney.

We see two men wheel a gurney into the office and place it alongside the couch. They take a stretcher and ease it under Gordon, making sure not to wake him. Once he’s on, they count by nodding their heads and transfer him onto the gurney.

Male Voice: *Whispering* Excellent.

The two men begin to wheel the gurney out of the office into the hallway, the “cameraman” guiding the way. He walks down the long corridor before they walk into a garage area, empty this time of day except for a few REBEL Pro staffers. We see Jenny Jersey walking over, but she is quickly hushed by the cameraman.

Male Voice: *Whispering* It’s a surprise.

He motions with his finger for Jenny to follow him. The team with the gurney are now ahead of him, entering a curtained area. As they open the other side of the curtains, we can see the entranceway and the ring in the background. They start to push Gordon out onto the ramp, but one of the men trips and the gurney starts to roll freely down the aisle.

Male Voice: Oh shit!

The other man takes off running after it and catches it just before it’s about to hit the side of the ring.

Male Voice: That was a close one!

As the cameraman continues to make his own way down the aisle, we can hear a muffled scream from Jenny Jersey.

Male Voice: Good. Keep her quiet.

The two men down at the ring have started to slide Larry Gordon into the ring on the stretcher.

Male Voice: You think you can keep her quiet and film at the same time?

Male Voice #2: No problem.

Male Voice: Remember, if she’s uncooperative, just give her “the stuff”.

The two mystery men make their way to the ring, the first mystery man hands the camera off to the second one and heads for the ring. As the new cameraman angles it, we can now see it is Loren N. Chill. He stands beside Larry Gordon just as the medics pull the gurney out from under his body.

Loren N. Chill: You! Come here!

We see Head Referee Alan Stone slide into the ring just as Loren drops to one knee and puts the tip of his pinky finger on Gordon’s chest.

Loren N. Chill: Quietly now. Quietly.

Alan Stone taps the mat.

*Whisper* 1…

*Whisper* 2…

*Whisper* 3…

Loren N. Chill: *Whispering* Ding, ding, ding…

Loren grabs his belt from the cameraman, obviously Dennis Reveni, and drapes it over Gordon’s chest. Once he’s climbed back out of the ring, he secures the camera from Dennis who is now revealed to be holding a microphone and a Fecal Beagle bottle next to Jenny Jersey’s lips.

Loren N. Chill: Choose, one or the other.

Jenny nods towards the microphone.

Loren N. Chill: Go for it.

Jenny Jersey: HERE IS YOUR WINNER… AND NEEEEWWWWW! FECAL BEAGLE CHAMPION!!! — LARRRRRYYYY GOOORDOOOONNN!!!

At the sound of the booming PA system, Gordon wakes up startled by the noise. He sees that the Fecal Beagle Title is on his chest. He turns and quickly realizes he is in the ring, staring down Chill who grabs the microphone from Dennis who has released Jenny Jersey from her bonds.

Loren N. Chill: How does it feel, Gordon? Does it feel liberating? Does it make you feel like a winner? That is MY GIFT to you. — Doesn’t feel much like winning, does it? Doesn’t feel liberating at all, does it? — It’s down right fucking embarrassing, isn’t it? The instrument of your mockery has been turned against you and I will see to it that you really get what’s coming to you.

Chill and Reveni start walking up the aisle way, Gordon slowly pulls himself to his feet.

Loren N. Chill: The card… The “fuck you”… Airing your defeat on national television… That’s just the beginning. I’m going to make sure you reap what you sowed. I will be laughing my ass off while I watch you try to keep your head above ground. But do me a favor, when you think you’re at the end of your rope, just remember — I didn’t do this to you. You did it to yourself.

Loren drops the microphone before disappearing behind the curtain. Dennis stands around, continuing to film Gordon who is still in a state of shock-and-awe. With that, the scene fades to the normal Aggression opening sequence.

*****The New Sheriff In Town*****

There are red strobe lights panning the small office, and the position seems to be heavily fortified as it were. Jeremy Gold is hiding under his desk, the sirens blaring. He’s freaking out, trying to hold himself together as Rupert The Kangaroo seems oddly at ease with this situation, casually eating a celery stalk and smoking a cigarette. He’s even figured out how to use the water fountain, pressing down on the button and taking some sips of water.

Jeremy Gold: The world is at an end, Rupert. We have to hold down the fort now that Bubba J killed Simon.

Rupert looks over at him, with… Uhm. Concern?

Jeremy Gold: They’re gonna all want to come in here and demand things. Like a decent wage, and health care.

He shudders, just as the door knob begins to turn.

Jeremy Gold: It’s begun! Duck and run Ruppie! Duck and run!

Gold jumps up, but being how he’s under his own desk all he manages to do is smash his head under the desk, fall to the ground and begin crying as he rubs his head. Meanwhile, the lock on the door, his great security fortification, opens.

Jeremy Gold: Breach! Breach!

Rupert hops over to Gold and stomps his face in, by accident we imagine. He does it repeatedly, by accident. The door finally opens and in steps a well dressed, older looking gentlemen. He throws his briefcase down and rubs his ears.

Shawn West: What the hell are you doing, Jeremy?

Gold, now his nose bleeding hoists himself up into Rupert’s arms and Rupert pats him on the head.

Jeremy Gold: You? What the hell are you doing here?

West turns off the panic lights and turns on the regular ones.

Shawn West: I’m the new General Manager.

Jeremy Gold: But I’m the GM?

Shawn West: No, you’re fired. But don’t worry, I’ll need a secretary.

Gold stumbles away from the desk and falls onto the couch at one side of the office. Rupert eats his cigarette.

Shawn West: Now I see why he hired me. Jesus.

West throws his suit jacket off at Gold and takes his seat at the desk of power.

Shawn West: Things are about to change my friend.

Gold whimpers.

Jeremy Gold: Oh god it’s like Barack all over again…

Rupert pets Gold, in an effort to comfort him. We have to wonder who’s the pet, and who’s the master in this relationship.

Shawn West: Yes, well.

West pours himself some whiskey and claps his hands.

Shawn West: Wipe the tears from your eyes and the shit from your ass, we’ve got work to do.

Gold nods as we fade to ringside.

*****Mystery Tournament: The Second*****
*****Bobby J versus Loren N. Chill*****

The chorus of Saliva’s “Badass” hits up in the speakers and the Rebel-tron stays pictureless.
“Cause I’m a badass
And you don’t want to clash
Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash
Cause I’m a badass
And this war is your last
You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast”
The song transitions to the first verse.
“I need you to hear this loud and clear”
As the first lyric begins to play from Saliva’s “Badass”, Bobby J walks from the back and stares out to the crowd, his fists wrapped in tape and then dipped in broken glass, which seems to be more like plastic Solo cups.
“The line and the sand is drawn and I have no fear
When I see red all I need is a reason to set me off
To drop this bomb and pick yourself off the ground”
He slowly begins to walk down the ramp, just staring into the ring, in his own “zone” he pays very little attention to anything surrounding him. No fireworks, nothing spectacular, nothing flashy; just music and him walking.

JENNY JERSEY: From Durham, North Carolina; he stands at six feet and two inches while weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds… “The Ragin’ Redneck” um…

Bobby J indicates that his name is Bobby J instead of Bubba J.

Jenny Jersey: Bobby J!
Bobby J steps up the ring steps before climbing through the ropes. Bobby J then steps over to his corner, facing the entrance ramp and waiting on the damn match to begin.

Ding Ding

Linzi Martin: That is obviously not Bubba J, but the question is, what are you going to do about it?

Larry Gordon: Its obvious that Bubba J can’t compete here tonight, so I have no problem allowing Bobby J to compete.

Linzi Martin: That and you are doing your best to give the belt back to Loren.

Chill mockingly swats at Bobby J, pointing out that he is most definitely not the real Bubba J. Bobby J comes at him with rights and lefts, really like Bubba J would do, but Bobby J is a bit more unorthadox, actually he just really sucks and only has eyes for the belt that Gordon has sitting in front of him at the table. Loren rolls Bobby J up for a pin, making sure that Bobby J has the pin on him.

One!

Two!

Bobby J releases the pin, shoving up and shaking his head in denial before kicking Chill in the mouth. Chill rocks back on his heels, but charges at Bobby J, before nailing him in the gut and causing Bobby J to fall on him in a dead faint from the pain.

One!

Two!

Somehow Bobby J gets up from the pin, well actually rolls ooff of him, holding at his midsection and muttering something about a probe.

Linzi Martin: I really don’t want to know.

Larry Gordon: I don’t think any of us do.

Chill lifts Bobby J up then whips him into the ropes, allowing himself to be knocked out with a dropkick to the face. Bobby J accidentally falls on Loren again for a pin.

One!

Two!

Bobby J realizes what he is doing and hurriedly rolls off the pin and pulls Chill on top of hiim.

One!

Two!

Chill’s turn to roll off the pin. Chill back up, but Bobby J is upset and wants his title back. Bobby J shoves Chill into the corner, getting up into his face; Chill waves a hand in front of him, indicating that the breath is majorly awful.

Linzi Martin: What has that dude been eating?

Larry Gordon: Probably squirrel brains and eggs.

Linzi Martin: That… is just… disgusting.

Bobby J with a headbutt knocks Chill backwards and lifts him up to the top turnbuckle.

Linzi Martin: Lee…

Larry Gordon: I think his name is Bobby J, Linzi.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, um, Bobby J is going for an actual wrestling move here, is it a first?

Bobby J lifts Chill up, well he tries but he’s way to weak to perform the move, so he just falls back with a super DDT onto the canvas. Bobby J grins as he pulls Chill’s arm across his chest.

One!

Two!

Chill rolls off somehow, keeping the match going in this really, no change that, extremely odd match where one man is trying to allow the other man to pin him.

Larry Gordon: Wow, what a contest of wills!

Linzi Martin: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Larry Gordon: Not at all, they are trying to give the other man a victory, just like the Dallas Cowboys gave away the game to the Detroit Lions yesterday.

Linzi Martin: Oh yeah, I love me some Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.

Larry Gordon: I think most people do.

Meanwhile Chill is back up, locking on a side headlock to the stunned Bobby J. Chill with a bulldog rams his head into the turnbuckle before nailing him in the face with several stiff knees to the face and a brainbuster for good effort. Chill makes the uncover, allowing Bobby J’s arm to drape over him.

One!

Two!

Bobby J rolls off another painfully obvious attempt at him having certain victory. Right into a superkick to his jaw that sends his head rocking backwards on his neck. Chill lifts him up, brainbuster and now Chill seems to actually be going for a victory. Chill with a German suplex, rolling around connecting with a second, a third, fourth, and a fifth. Bobby J’s head is rolling around on his neck like its broke or something very similar.

Bobby J manages to somehow(very much on accident) kick Chill in the midsection and hit a stunner on Loren(again complete accident).

Linzi Martin: What does he call that move?

Larry Gordon: I believe it is the Ridiculous Zeti Reticuli Stomp.

Linzi Martin: But he never stomped anything.

Larry Gordon: This is Bobby J we are talking about.

Bobby J pulls Chill on top of him, allowing for the cover.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match… Loren N. Chill!

Bobby J rolls out of the ring quickly and is in front of Larry Gordon.

Bobby J: I believe this belongs to me!

Bobby J forceably takes the Fecal Beagle Championship before clamping it over his head to protect his brain.

Larry Gordon: No it doesn’t!

Gordon and Lee begin pulling on the title between each other as Loren rolls his eyes and makes his way backstage. Lee pulls Gordon into the ring with him and demands a bell be rung. Gordon lets go of Bobby Lee, and Lee goes flying to the canvas from his own momentum.

Linzi Martin: Uhhhhh… What?!

*****REBEL Pro Fecal Beagle Championship Match*****
*****Bobby Lee versus Larry Gordon©*****

DING DING DING

Gordon trips, and falls onto Bobby Lee, crushing him. The referee looks around, stunned that this is even happening.

1!

2!!

3!!!

Jenny Jersey: Uhhhh the winner of this match? Larry Gordon!

?

Bobby Lee rolls out from under Gordonn and grabs the FB Championship.
Jenny Jersey: And NEEEEEEEEEWWW Feagle Beagle Champion… Bobby…

Jenny Jersey is cut off as Bobby J removes his bald cap and jeans to reveal Bobby Lee wearing dirty tighty whitey briefs, a head with hair, and bare feet.

Jenny Jersey: Lee!

Linzi Martin: I think I’m gonna be sick.

*****THE BIG BREAK*****

We cut to the backstage area, with Rebel Pro intern Marvin Humperdink working away on his laptop. One would assume that he’s doing his homework, because he is a responsible student. A figure then appears behind Humperdink, only his lower half visible. The person in question is wearing torn Levi’s and a large ‘F’ belt buckle.

???
“Sup Dink?”

The intern spins around and the camera rolls back to reveal Super Shredder himself, Finale.

Marvin Humperdink
“Uh…Mr…Costigan…what-”

Finale
“First of all Dink, don’t call me that. Second of all, stand when someone addresses you. Don’t be fucking rude.”

Humperdink stands and wipes his hands on his pants (he gets sweaty when he writes about James Joyce), extending one to Finale. The Free Agent looks down at Dink’s hand and then looks back up at him with an unimpressed expression.

Finale
“The last guy that looked to shake my hand got a big ol’ gob of bloodspit in his face. You looking to travel that road kid?”

Marvin Humperdink
“No sir. Can I ask what you want with me though?”

Finale
“I’m here to give you your big break of course.”

Dink screws up his face, puzzled.

Marvin Humperdink
“I don’t…”

Finale
“It’s cool Dink, I don’t expect you to understand.”

Finale places a hand on the intern’s shoulder.

Finale
“Let me explain. You see Dink, I’m kind of a big deal right now. I know you saw Victory a few days ago, you saw my match with Engel. Yeah I lost, but that’s not the point. Moments after that match ‘Bloodspit’ and ‘Super Shredder’ were both trending on Twitter. As a journalist, you should pay attention to social media. If you did, you’d be salivating at the chance to interview me.”

Marvin Humperdink
“You don’t think Matthew Engel had a lot to do with your popularity?”

Finale
“Oh probably and I get that. Fact of the matter is that I went out there to show the world that I haven’t rolled over and died. That’s what I did. I had one of the best reviewed Victory matches of the last few months and I got my name back out there. Now tonight after I ruin Jaice Wilds’ life, I’ll be back on track.”

Marvin Humperdink
“You think that a win over Jaice Wilds will set your career straight?”

Finale lets out an obnoxious laugh, roughly squeezing the intern’s shoulder. Dink nearly buckles under Finale’s grip.

Finale
“Not in the least. Wilds is a fucking non-issue. It’s a foregone conclusion that I’m going to butcher that little fuck. A victory over him proves only one thing; I’m done losing.”

Marvin Humperdink
“Well Mr. Costigan, I’m not really supposed to-”

Finale
“Dink if we always did what we were supposed to do, what fun could we possibly have? Next week I am going to give you a sit down interview and we’ll discuss whatever you please.”

Marvin Humperdink
“Like if you are ever going to sign a legitimate contract?”

Finale
“Sure. I don’t fucking care, just do your goddamn research and I’ll see you here this time next week. Okay pumpkin?”

Dink can’t help but look excited. If it wasn’t a medium shot, we’d probably see his ‘wrestle-boner’.

Marvin Humperdink
“That sounds great Finale, I’ll see you then!”

Finale takes hold of Dink’s laptop.

Marvin Humperdink
“Uh…I need that.”

Finale
“Yeah but I need it more. My phone died in the middle of a very important e-mail. I need to send Alexis more poetry.”

Marvin Humperdink
“You write poetry?”

Finale
“I’ve gone and said too much. Vanish.”

Finale waves his hand like David Copperfield and then sprints off with the Macbook under his arm. Dink tries to call after him but it’s too late, he’s super fucking fast.

*****AoWF Free Agent vs. REBEL Match*****
*****Finale versus Jaice Wilds*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first!

The opening chords of “Better Off Dead” by Death From Above 1979 cue up and as soon as the song really kicks in pyro explodes with a blinding white flash on the stage. Purple and green lights lay down over the crowd and everyone’s attention is to the stage.

Jenny Jersey: Accompanied to the ring Ramona Holiday, he hails from Buffalo, New York! Standing in at 6’4” tall and weighing in at 245 pounds…

By the time the smoke settles Finale is at the top of the ramp with Ramona Holiday at his side. He walks down to the ring with a focused expression as Ramona slaps hands with the fans.

?

Jenny Jersey: He is THE BUFFALO BUTCHER!!!!! FINALE!!!!!!

?

Finale enters the ring and jogs around a bit while looking into the crowd, focused on the task at hand.

Linzi Martin: People like to downplay Finale’s credibility, but they’re quick to forget the major impact he made when he first came into the AoWF with the BWF.

Larry Gordon: That’s very true, he was damn near unstoppable for a good while and even won the King O’ Extreme Championship right here in REBEL Pro.

Linzi Martin: Eh, what can you do. People have short memories.

Larry Gordon: I don’t, and I for one hope we see more Finale in REBEL Pro.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent, representing REBEL Pro!

“Animals” by Nickleback kicks in and the crowd jumps to their feet, cheering Jaice Wilds despite the fact his theme is done by Nickleback.

Jenny Jersey: He stands in at 5’6” tall, weighing in at 184 pounds. He hails from Brazil!

Jaice Wilds steps out and comes running down to the ring, whizzing past fans as he slaps their hands and jumps right over the top rope and into the ring.

Jenny Jersey: JAICE WILDS!!!

Wilds bounces off the ropes at each side, getting himself ready as he stares across the ring at Finale.

Linzi Martin: I like Jaice, I mean look how close he came to becoming a two time Aggression Champion last week.

Larry Gordon: He did, and he’s been a very successful member of the REBEL ranks. But by God if Finale doesn’t just tower over him.

Linzi Martin: Speed versus power. Oh yeah. I like both though, if you know what I mean.

Larry Gordon: Knowing you, it’s something sexual.

DING DING DING

Jaice Wilds isn’t waiting around, he rushes right at Finale and leaps at him. Finale simply side steps Wilds and laughs, but Wilds bounces off the ropes with a springboard back elbow that catches Finale in the face. But Finale only stumbles back, and Wilds lands right into his arms. Finale with a release German suplex sends Wilds and his neck crashing into the canvas with no regard to the Xtreme Aerialist’s spine taken into consideration. Wilds spins around and jumps up to his feet and Finale lays him out with a roundhouse kick, and the sound alone from the impact has every fan in the arena “Ouch” all at once.

Linzi Martin: Wilds has to get airborne if he wants to get Finale.

Larry Gordon: I agree, he can’t win a ground assault with Finale.

Wilds gets to his feet quickly, Finale seems ready to continue his assault but Wilds jumps up, flips over Finale and takes him down with a stunning neck breaker that has the fans cheering him on. Wilds heads to the top rope as Finale is getting to his feet, Wilds comes off and goes for a frankensteiner! Finale catches him over and takes him down swiftly with a top rope power bomb, and quickly transitions the move into the Buffalo ‘66 submission! The crowd jump to their feet in disbelief at the swift moves, as Wilds begins shaking his head and refusing to tap out. Finale tightens his grip, applying more pressure. Half the crowd boos Finale, the other half cheers Jaice trying to get him to get out of it. It becomes obvious from the pain in Jaice’s face this move is not something you want to be in as Finale just stares out into the crowd, confident as fuck written all over his face.

Linzi Martin: Damn. I hope we don’t get another riot. You know REBEL fans and submissions are like oil and water.

Larry Gordon: Don’t remind me. Simon and I are still dealing with that lawsuit from Chattanooga.

Wilds struggles to get himself free, and with each move to freedom he finds himself even more deeply entrenched in the move. Finally, Finale lets go and gets to his feet, putting his arms out and basking in all the love from the REBEL Pro fans. And by love, we mean hate, as they’re booing the shit out of him. He turns to Wilds and mockingly laughs as Wilds gets to his feet, but Jaice isn’t taking things lightly. Wilds lunges at Finale, taking him down with a cross body splash. Finale looks up, almost as if to say he let that happen, just as Jaice Wilds springboards off the ropes with a leg drop! The crowd goes wild! No pun! Jaice covers!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT! Finale easily kicks out, and Jaice rolls out of the ring and immediately decides to go REBEL on the last BWF World Champion.

Larry Gordon: And Jaice looks to add some weaponry to this.

Linzi Martin: About time, I was starting to dry up.

Larry Gordon: Yeah… Wait, excuse me?

Linzi licks her fingers and smiles, as Larry quietly turns his attention right back to the action at hand.

Jaice grabs a barbed wire covered bat from under the ring, because those are the types of structural shit we build our rings with, and hops

up onto the apron. Finale doesn’t seem too impressed, bad mouthing Jaice. Jaice swings for Finale’s head, but Finale just leans back and mocks Jaice. Finale backs up and comes back at Jaice on the apron, he archs his foot as he goes for a big boot on Wilds but Wilds ducks, brings the ropes down and it sends Finale awkwardly over the top rope and to the outside. Jaice quickly springboards himself off the ropes, flips over and brings down the barbed wire bat right over Finale’s face. That’s gotta hurt.

Linzi Martin: Damn! I think Finale’s bleeding!

Larry Gordon: I hope he has good medical insurance.

Jaice goes berserk with the barbed wire bat, bringing it down repeatedly all over Finale’s body. Ramona Holiday watches on with concern but Finale get’s serious’d as he kicks Jaice’s knees out from under him. Jaice stumbles back, and Finale gets up and then hits an impact DDT right onto the steel steps. The crowd boos as Finale lifts the top half of the steel steps up and drops it down over Jaice Wilds… But Jaice moves out of the way in time! Jaice jumps to his feet, and grabs Finale quickly. Jumping Russian leg sweep onto the steel steps! Finale’s head gets cracked pretty badly, and now both men are down momentarily. Jaice finds it in him to grab the bat again and slide back into the ring.

Larry Gordon: No count outs, no rope breaks, no rules in REBEL Pro. Just wanton violence, like it should be.

Linzi Martin: Finale is a former KoE Champion. I’m pretty sure he’s familiar with that. He’s quite the looker too. I’d let him Buffalo Butcher me any time.

Larry Gordon: You and your hormones, Linzi.

Linzi Martin: What can I say, I like a good Championship dick.

Larry Gordon: Now I know why Simon hired you.

Finale gets to his feet, wipes the blood off of his face and shakes it off as if that shit didn’t even happen as he gets back into the ring.

Linzi Martin: D’uh.

Jaice Wilds with another swing of the bat as Finale, but Finale just puts his arms up in a cross over his face and blocks the attack. Sure, his flesh from his arms rip out in a few places as Jaice pulls the bat back, but he’s a fucking bad ass.

Linzi Martin: He can Super Shred my ass anytime.

Finale rushes forward, goes for a clothesline but Jaice Wilds ducks.

Larry Gordon: We get it, Linzi.

Jaice springboards off the ropes, and lands a vicious super kick in Finale’s face.

Linzi Martin: He can bring his Stabfest ‘11 into my pants, with his pen-

Larry Gordon: YEAH! WE KNOW!

Wilds hops up onto the top rope and comes off with a stunning corkscrew shooting star press!!! But as he lands, Finale holds up the barbed wire bat and even though Wilds successfully connects, his neck crumples over the bat, cutting up his throat. Wilds rolls off of Finale, coughing and bleeding. Finale feels the pain, but he moves to cover Jaice.

1!

2!!

THRE-KICK OUT!

Jaice kicks out!

Linzi Martin: Damn these guys are good. What’s a girl to do, Larry?

Larry Gordon: Do what you’re doing in private. My goodness.

Linzi holds her hand to Larry’s face.

Linzi Martin: Sample?

Larry Gordon: No thanks.

Finale is up first and he lifts Jaice Wilds up by the neck, purposefully crushing his thumbs into Wilds’ new cuts as he whips him into the corner turnbuckles. Jaice is a boss ass REBEL though, in case you forgot, and he hops up onto the turnbuckle again. Finale “accidentally” shoves the referee into the ropes, causing Wilds to slip and crotch land on the turnbuckles. Finale grabs Jaice by the hair and begins smacking him across the face.

Finale: Bad! Bad! Bad!

Wilds flips himself backwards, throwing his feet up, placing them on Finale’s shoulders. Then he flips forward, crotch to face and takes Finale down, sitting down on his chest as he reaches back and pulls Finale’s legs up for the cover! But the referee is slow to get up… Finally, he does.

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT! Finale kicks out and throws Jaice off of him.

?

Linzi Martin: This is getting intense!

Jaice quickly hops to the top rope and doesn’t wait for a moment as he comes off the top rope with Aerial Ace!!! But Finale puts his knees up, and Jaice bounces off of him in serious pain. Finale back up and he looks like he wants to put some hurt to Jaice as he throws him back into the turnbuckles. Finale climbs out onto the apron and Jaice turns around and begins throwing lefts and rights to fight back the tide from his stance on the second turnbuckle. Finale climbs up, taking the hits and throwing some of his own back. The exchange ends when Finale punches Wilds in the throat, right where Wilds was cut up from the bat. Finale grabs onto Jaice and pulls him forward… A Piledriver from the second rope onto the apron!!! Jaice falls forward and to the outside, as Finale joins him.

Larry Gordon: Intense isn’t the word, Linzi!

Finale grabs Jaice and throws him back into the ring. Finale slides back in and locks on Tiger Blood!!! Jaice’s eyes shoot open, glaring in pain… He tries to fight out, the crowd is on their feet.

Fans: JAICE! JAICE! JAICE!

Finale: TAP! TAP! TAP!

Fans: JAICE! JAICE! JAICE!

Linzi Martin: NANCY! NANCY! NANCY!

Wilds refuses to tap.

Larry Gordon: Sit down, what are you doing?

Finale applies more pressure.

Linzi Martin: Just getting in on the action?

Finally, Jaice Wilds begins to tap out.

DING DING DING

Finale doesn’t let go, he just keeps applying more and more pressure as his music hits. The crowd boos loudly. Finally, The Buffalo Butcher eases off and gets up, his hand is raised.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match by submission… FINALE!

Finale exit’s the ring, wiping the blood from his face as he makes his way to the back with Ramona.

Linzi Martin: Jaice really tried hard, it sucks he lost.

Larry Gordon: I’m impressed, either way. Finale and Jaice put on a great match, and I hope we see more of Finale.

*****Indestructible*****

In the beginning… There were three.

The time has come to wave the flag once again.

?

*****Medical Issues*****

We quickly fade backstage, where Vincent Black is being escorted out of the building by security. He seems upset.

Shawn West: Hey, I don’t care how things used to be done. I’m in charge, and I say you can’t wrestle like that pal.

Vincent Black: You’re another asshole straight out of Kalis’ pocket.

Shawn West: Hey, hey now. Don’t worry, if you really want to get yourself killed in a handicap match come back next week and we’ll see what we can work out.

West sips his whiskey, smiles and waves off security.

Vincent Black: Fuck you.

Black gets hauled off by a bunch of security guards, and West just turns around to go back into his office.

Shawn West: No thanks.

?

*****Non Title Match*****
*****Jamie Flynn versus Virgil Keenan*****

The match starts uncharacteristically of the Rebel wrestling environment as Virgil and Jamie swiftly circle each other, eyes locked. Timidly moving towards each other Virgil offers a hand, test of strength. The champion knows he’s bigger and likely stronger than his opponent. Jamie accepts the lock only to twirl the arm into an arm wrench. Jamie drops a few elbows and twirls into a drop toe hold, rolling through, and over Virgil for a side headlock. Virgil swiftly rolls the move and plants Jamie on his shoulders for a one count. Jamie rolls it back to the stationary headlock. Another counter attempt and Virgil brings it to a vertical stance before elbowing his opponent a few time and sweeping him to the ground where he swiftly stomps the knee.

Jamie scurries away and gets back to his feet where Virgil is already upon him with a back hand chop across the chest. Jamie stagger back be retorts with a guttural kick. The two exchange blows until Jamie gets the upper hand and whips Virgil into the ropes. The champ comes back with a nasty dropkick to the knee, which causes Flynn to topple over head and crash on the mat. Virgil capitalizes on the knee; grabbing the limb and jerking it around violently, stomping it, and stretching it. Flynn fights it off with a few kicks before getting to his feet. Virgil bursts forward and attempts a clothesline only for the skilled competitor to duck
and lift the oncoming momentum up into the air and down on the top rope with a flap jack.

With Virgil squirming on the mat Jamie takes his advantage and brings the champion to his feet, slapping him around with a few strikes before landing a snap suplex and rolling senton combination. Upon lifting Virgil for the next move the champion wrestler drops with a jawbreaker and staggers Jamie into the ropes. A mere second later Flynn is dropped to his back from a knee clip. Keenan keeps a focus on the knee as he lays the leg on the bottom rope and stomps the Jesus out of it, followed by a knee drop.

Jamie tries several time to regain his composer and get back to his feet, but Virgil uses his strategy and the weakening knee to his advantage. When Keenan attempts to bring Jamie to his feet himself and jam him in the corner he counters with a slicing kick to the ribs. Virgil coughs and cradles his side, only for another kick, another. And a final combination superkick that gets caught! Virgil dragon screws the leg and cripples Jaime onto the ground. The fans start chanting for blood and weapons. So why the hell not. Virgil rolls out of the ring and grabs a black folding chair from ringside. ONLY TO TURN INTO A SUICIDE DIVE!
Jamie staggers to his feet and grabs the dropped chair, slamming it a few times vengefully onto Keenan’s back. 3 shots and the new Rebel-pro member looks to find more inventive methods of attack. Tossing up the ring apron he finds nearly bazillion different weapons. It is Rebel-pro after all. A random sack of something is pulled out and Jamie sneaks a peek inside out of curiosity. He smirks. Turning around to his opponent Jamie takes the bag and slams it into the arm of a rising champion who cries in pain as he tries to get away. Another shot to his back and Virgil screeches in pain. The bag starts to rip open; dropping shards of class on the ground. Keenan leans against a barrier when Flynn makes another slam attempt only to miss when the champ side steps and brings a knee up into the sternum. A few repeated shots and Keenan rams Flynn into the steel turnbuckle pole on the outside.

Jamie is dazed as his head get repeatedly slammed into the steel before being rolled into the ring. Virgil retrieves the Chair again, coupled with a second one and returns to the ring when he stabs it down on Jamie’s knee. Jamie clenches the knee before he’s brought to his feet and whips across the ring. On his return Virgil bluntly slams the chair into the leg. Jamie flips head over heel onto the mat grasping at his leg with an “ooo00o0o” chant starting at the harsh move. Jamie is having a hard time here with the champ and rightfully so, but he needs a quick counter an advantage which he makes for himself. Virgil is setting a chair up into the corner and whips Jamie into it, only or Flynn to swiftly counter and send the champ head over heels into the chair, landing on his head and leaning into the turnbuckle awkwardly.

Jamie rubs his leg almost apologizing before hitting the ropes and racing back, diving into the champion with a missile drop kick. Keenan falls out of the corner almost onto his opponent holing his face in agony. Flynn staggers to his feet, retrieving the second chair and stabs it down on Keenan’s finger! A scream of pain and Virgil grasps his finger gawking at it pain. In irony Jamie stabs the leg with the chair before bluntly tossing it at the champion. Mostly concerned with his finger Keenan drags himself to his feet via the ropes, favouring the finger. This wasn’t the wisest idea as the bulls-eye isn’t lost on Jamie who viciously grabs the finger and twists it back grossly. Virgil in pain reacts in a flail, smashing his fists into Jamie’s nose! Shot after shot Virgil unloads until the reaction of pain makes the man stagger back holding the impact point. Keenan holds his finger which at this point might actually be broken, which gives Jamie a small time to recover where he attempts another attack charging at the champion, only to be hoisted and tossed over head to the outside! Only to land skilfully on the apron, unbeknownst to the champion to tends to his finger. SPRING BOARD WHEEL KICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! Keenan looks knocked the FUCK out as Jamie makes a cover.

1.

2.

Th- Kickout!

Jamie looks frustrated with the near count but doesn’t fret as he exits the ring in search for new weapons. A moment later, Jamie finds himself a barbed wire spool. Agreeing with his discovery Jamie rolls into the ring, loosening up a meter of the wire. Keenan starts moving to his feet only to find himself the victim of several whips into his back! The blood begins to seep out is random small lacerations throughout the back. Keenan manages to get to his feet and avoid a shot, side step another, and roll out of the ring. Jamie whips of the top rope and misses again as Keenan holds his back in pain standing on the ramp. Jamie doesn’t give a shit though as he wraps his elbow in the wire, hitting the ropes and returning for another SUICIDE DI- BAG OF GLASS TO THE FUCKING FACE. The momentum carries through and they both crash on the ramp!

Jamie rolls around holding his face as his brow begins to bleed all over the steel ramp. Virgil brings himself back up and smirks to himself. Grabbing the spool of wire, Keenan wraps it around the leg of his opponent. Before Jamie and realize much of what is going on Keenan proceeds to pull on one end of the wire and then alternating to the other end of the wire. The barbed wire slices through the pant leg and rips the holy high hell out of the leg until Jamie fights back with a few weak kicks. Getting to his feet Flynn staggers around, heading up the ramp to create distance. Virgil reaches into the fans and gets a chair for his efforts. The fans love the blood and cheer the champion and Jamie on in their lovely Rebel Showdown.

Virgil slams the chair on the steel ramp before heading up the structure looking to connect with a vicious shot, only for Jamie to swiftly come out of nowhere with a step up hurricanranna! Keenan lands rough on his back with impact, putting him down long enough for Flynn to return to the ring on a limp. It takes a moment but Keenan follows him back with the chair. The wire is still wrapped around Jamies knee, but it doesn’t phase him much as he continues to wrap the leg turning it into a weapon. Virgil slides into the ring and Jamie is quickly upon him with stomps and pummelling his elbows into the opponent. Flynn drags him to his feet and hoists the champion up on his shoulders for a gut buster! Virgil squirms around the ring holding his stomach.
Flynn brings his leg into the battle again when he sits Keenan up and soccer kicks him in the back! the barbed wire cuts and splices as he kicks over and over, finishing off with a bounce in the ropes and a Shinning wizard.

1.

2.

Thr- No.

Flynn starts feeling a little irritated. Wanting to end the match the wrestler looks to the top rope. He signals for it and the fans go wild. Keenan looks to stir, which is perfect as the aerialist starts to climb the ropes. Perched atop the ropes like a vigilante Flynn waits to finish the match. Keenan makes it to his feet and staggers around the ring before turning to Flynn who DEVIL PLA- His leg gives out! Flynn plants himself ace first on the canvas rolling around in pain! Keenan flinches as his heart nearly shot out through his chest. But with the fall Virgil smiles and rolls out of the ring, grabbing Flynn by his legs, pulling him violently into the poll, right between the legs. Flynn holds his gonads as Keenan sets up the legs around the steel. FIGURE OUR LEG LOCK! Jamie thrashes and bashes around the ring as Virgil hangs off the apron, crushing the leg! It’s perfectly legal!
The ref asks the wrestler if he wants to tap. He refuses. Straight out refuses to tap. He grabs the ropes and clenches them as if they would help him in this situation. They won’t. Jamie smashes the canvas but he doesn’t tap. He looks for support from the fans and doesn’t find it. Keenan keeps yelling at the man to tap. Tap. Tap. Tap tap. The words drill into his head but he won’t do it! Luckly, the barbed wire leg that rubs up against Keenan’s in this hold starts tarring and wounding the champion, causing him to let the hold go. But the damage is done.

Virgil gets back into the ring and bellows out a chant. The masked man signals for the burning hammer! Flynn crawls away and grabs the ropes. It’s the only way he can get to his feet at this point. His leg is basically dead at this point. Keenan smirks through his mask as he gives a vicious kick to the wounded leg and topples Flynn to his knee. Keenan grabs the star by the hair and lifts him up onto his shoulders! Walking away from the ropes. POW!

ONE

TWO

THREE!!

THREE COUNT. FLYNN WINS!

Jamie counters the burning hammer into a sunset flip pin!!

Jamie rolls out of the ring and smiles arrogantly to the champion in the ring. Flynn lifts his hand up and signals that he was “That close.” Keenan looks vicious angry, getting to his feet and kicking the bottom rope. The only saving grace is that he is still a champion. That, and Jamie stumbles with each step. The winner limps his victory walk up the ramp. The champ was so close to pulling out the victory but this match belongs to Jamie Flynn.

*****All Hail*****

We fade away from the arena, and the camera shows us a scene right outside of a Boston hospital. A quick flash, and we find ourselves within this medical institution.

Simon Kalis: Hey…

We see Kalis hold his hand up in a salute, very forcefully. He’s obviously out of his coma now, but he is still hooked up to all sorts of equipment. Masakazu is there, leaning up against the wall next to Simon’s bed.

Masakazu: He’s always trying to look pretty for old friends, isn’t he?

The visitor scoffs.

Visitor: You never knew when to tone it down, did you?

Kalis smirks.

Simon Kalis: Never, brother.

Kalis gingerly reaches into his dresser next to him, grabbing out a pack of smokes. The visitor, who we can only see from behind, shakes his head.

Visitor: So you couldn’t manage to keep yourself alive long enough to welcome me.

Simon Kalis: No, but I will anyways.

He lights his cigarette as the visitor drops a large beige envelope onto his bed.

Visitor: Figure you might want to see that.

Masakazu: Is that what I think it is?

Kalis taps the envelope and smirks. The visitor nods.

Simon Kalis: Welcome to REBEL Pro, my old friend.

*****Burning Bridges*****

As we fade to the REBEL Pro logo, followed by the AoWF logo… There is suddenly a flash that stays on screen for a few moments.

Fade away…

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Loren N. Chill defeats Larry Gordon and pawns off the Fecal Beagle title to him
Loren Chill defeats “Bobby J”, and advances into the mystery tournament of doom!
Larry Gordon defeats Bobby Lee, and Bobby Lee gets his Fecal Beagle title back!
Finale defeats Jaice Wilds, and the Stabfest ‘11 comes to REBEL Pro
Jamie Flynn defeats Virgil Keenan in a tight match up.

*****Safety First*****

The camera fades in on a conversation already happening, between Vincent Black and Larry Gordon. Gordon has a manila folder in his hand. Vincent’s face is still swollen and bruised, although slightly less than last week.

LARRY: “Vince, I’m sorry. Our fight doctor has told me you aren’t cleared. She won’t clear you for at least two months, and not until the injury is healed.”

Black yells.

VINCENT: “I’m a fucking REBEL champion, Larry! Are you gonna screw Bubba out of his partner? I know you’ve been sick and all, but I know you know good business sense when you see it. Hardcore Entertainment is excellent fucking business, Larry. Don’t make us drop these belts because fucking Rocky whoever-the-fuck he is tried to make a point.”

Larry Gordon looks down, and sighs.

Larry: “Sorry, Vincent. Your safety is important to me. I don’t need ya getting further injured in my ring, or worse, dyin’!”

Black sighs heavily. After a moment of quiet, Vincent speaks.

VINCENT: “Fine, if you won’t let me fight, I’m gonna go tell the fans.”

Black turns and walks away from the majority owner of REBEL.

*****The Black & Yellow Edition*****

We fade backstage to find Simon Kalis on the phone.

Simon Kalis: Yes, yes. We’re very happy to start this official partnership with Fecal Beagle and your… Lovely, beer.

He pauses and nods, smiling.

Simon Kalis: Yes well, I figure Robinson and the PWA can all fuck themselves. Grizzly Beer has nothing on Fecal Beagle.

Simon chuckles as he pauses to hear the other guy on the phone.

Simon Kalis: Yes, Loren will be doing it. No problem. Thanks for the money, guys.

There’s a pause, and then Kalis hangs up the phone satisfied.

*****Carbomb*****

Before Jenny Jersey can announce the first match, “Carbomb” by The Acacia STrain hits the speakers, and the crowd cialis on alcohol goes nuts. Out from the back comes Vincent Black, wearing a casual dress shirt and khaki pants. Hops on the apron, steps over the top rope, and Jenny gives him the microphone.

LINZI MARTIN: “The big man with a microphone, apparently he has something to say, Mr. Gordon.”

LARRY GORDON: “Please, you can call me Larry, sweetheart.”

VINCENT: “I don’t remember the last time I was in Pittsburgh-”

The crowd pops loud.

VINCENT: “But I don’t think it’s been as wild as it is tonight!”

Another big pop, larger than the last.

LARRY GORDON: “Buttering ‘em up before the big let down.”

LINZI MARTIN: “Huh?”

VINCENT BLACK: “But, I have some news. REBEL doctors have told me that, after Rocky Logan put a hurting on my protected orbital bone. Now, it didn’t do much damage, but the doc noticed it did damage at all, so I’ve been told…”

Black sighs.

VINCENT BLACK: “I’ve been told that I’m not cleared to wrestle until the injury is healed.”

LINZI MARTIN: “What?! Mr. Gordon?”

The crowd boos hard, and Vincent nods his head with them.

VINCENT BLACK: “I know, it rocked me, too. But I’m going to fucking fight it.”

The crowd explodes.

VINCENT BLACK: “I’m one half of the REBEL World Tag Team Champions! I’m the biggest man in REBEL. I’m a fucking REBEL legend, and Icon, and I don’t leave the ring until I fucking feel like it. And since there are legal strings I need to pull, you bet your fucking ass I will!”

“Carbomb” hits and Vincent throws his microphone down, and the crowd goes nuts. He hops over the top rope, out of the ring, and to the back.

*****Dodo-A-Gogo versus Golden Inferno*****

Before the bell can sound on our super exciting tag match, Emilee Corlen gets herself a mic and slides into the ring.

Linzi Martin: Fuck this shit.

Emilee marches right up to Lisa and waggles a finger in her face.

Emlee Korlin: Listen here you stupid ugly bitch.

The crowd gasp cialis 40 at the inevitable horror that is to come while Jeremy Gold lowers himself deep into a corner and does his best not to exist. Why he keeps signing up for these matches is beyond me. Never the less he did and now Emlee is doing her best to get them both killed.

Emlee Korlin: I’m not fat you skin sack! I’m luscious! I’m the number one playgirl bunny in the whole universe, I’ve got minus 11% bodyfat and all my friends say I’m the hottest man whoever lived. And anyone who says otherwise is just jealous! Jealous!

Emlee does some rage stomps and the earth starts to crack.

Emlee Korlin: You all just can’t stand that I’m a two time world champion without ever having to win either of them and with a grand total of no defences! On one of them I’m even the shortest reigning champ in history! In BWF! A place where everyone sucked a fuck even when we had shitty food themed guys falling out our asses! I’m right up there with Toco and the Canadian Hero and Hyptreme and all these other faceless faggots no wrestling fan even remembers and all you sad bastards are just jealous of my hotness and success and hotness and success! I’m the best wrestler in the how long is a viagra good for entire AoWF, even though I got driven out of every other company except for the one where wrestle-family had their name above the door! And even though I promptly got my ass kicked and then beaten by the flakiest fuck in the entire community, I’m still their top star by default!

Lisa leans back out of her cheeseburger breath and Anna Mathews experiences what it’s like to not be the strangest person in a room. She does however seem to be chomping at the bit to get things on.

Emlee Korlin: I’ve lost the world title twice but I keep getting free rematches because there’s no canadian pharmacy website one else to give them too and you people are all just jealous that you didn’t get there before me and get to call yourselves world champion with wins over the Big O and Big nObody else of consequence and I’m tired of that attitude and therefore I quit unless someone in here wants to give me a free belt right this fucking second because I’m too fat and lazy to go win and hold one on my own!

Emlee then flexes her bingo wings for good measure before having half her face ripped off in a Roundhouse Kick. Apparently we’re wrestling now.

Larry Gordon: And there’s the bell!

Linzi Martin: Tell the time keeper not to bother getting comfortable.

Emlee goes down in a heap and it takes both Dodos and a ton of mental determination to get her back up. Never the less they do and suddenly Emlee finds herself being pin-balled back and forth between the two on the end of some vicious kicks. Anna then finishes her spiel by sending Emlee forward to Lisa who lands a Standing Pump kick into her chest and rides it to the mat. Emlee then coughs up some blood and everyone watching realises this probably wasn’t as funny an idea as it originally seemed. Never the less the action continues when Lisa gets to the top-rope and Anna steps out to the apron. Lisa then coems off the top with a Double Knee, splattering what’s left of Emlee’s face around the room.

Linzi Martin: The Horror Pop! And I think that’s a painfully fitting description of what just happened there.

The referee goes to move in on the count but Lisa rolls off as Anna bounces up the ropes and sends herself flying forward with a 630 Senton, crushing the unfortunate beast on impact.

Linzi Martin: And now the Slash and Burn!

Larry Gordon: Is this what you people have done with the place I worked so hard to build that it almost killed me?

Linzi Martin: Well… sometimes they fight kangaroos.

The referee tries to cover again but apparently we’re not done as Lisa picks her up again and locks Emlee’s arm around the back of her head. From there she thumps her hard with a Heart Kick that would have buckled Emlee’s legs if she hadn’t found herself spun out to a standing position. Lisa then leaps up from behind with a Spinning Heelkick that rips through the back of her head while Anna twists in from the front and finishes her off with the Butterfly Kick. Sandwiched between both shots, Emlee’s brain explodes.

Larry Gordon: Least this didn’t drag on.

Emlee falls straight down and to her back. Anna meanwhile steps over and puts her foot into Lisa’s hands, which she in turn uses to toss her into the air and through a standing Phoenix Splash. It hits hard and Anna mercifully stays on for the cover.

1

2

3

Larry Gordon: Thank Christ!

“Love Is All Around” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts jumps up on the speakers, which is good news for Jeremy Gold as it means they only have about a minute to get out of the ring. Never the less Lisa picks him up by the hair and sends the tears flying when she drops him with a Pimp Slap and then makes some disparaging remarks about how she came all the way to Cuntfuck, whatever State we’re in for this. Meanwhile Jeremy Gold goes down whimpering, which is really par for the course. Dodo-A-Gogo then celebrate a not so hard fought win. Good for them.

Linzi Martin: I think she’s dead.

*****Mystery Tournament: The First*****
*****J.T. Whiplash versus Justin Case*****

JENNY JERSEY: The next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 265 pounds… “THE MILLENNIUM GAME” JUSTIN CASE!

“Victory” by Puff Daddy hits the speakers and boos greet Justin Case, Hugh Aredone and Rocky Logan as they emerge from the curtain. Case looks Just 2 Talented like always as he struts to the ring, ignoring the booing fans and smiling confidently. He slides into the ring as Aredone and Logan take their spot at ringside, jarring with a few fans.

JENNY JERSEY: His opponent, from Paint Rock, Tennessee, weighing in at 243 pounds… “THE CONFEDERATE COPPERHEAD” J.T. WHIPLASH!

Waiving a REBEL Pro flag, Whiplash walks down the aisle, slapping hands and pointing out to his fans as they roar and chant his name. Logan stands in his way but Whiplash walks right through him to the roar of the fans! He plants the flag in the turnbuckle and enters the ring. He runs back and forth across the ring then runs into the corner and calls for the bell.

DING DING!

Whiplash dances around the ring as Case stalks him. Whiplash seems full of energy tonight!

LARRY GORDON: Not bad for a fifty-one year old man!

LINZI MARTIN: If I’m ever a fifty year old man, I hope I look that good!

Whiplash runs in for the lock-up but Case gets him with a knee to the gut! Whiplash bends over, but Case pushes him back up with a chest chop. Whiplash stumbles back into the rope… but runs as Case with a clothesline. Ducked! Whiplash off of the ropes. Big back body drop sends Whiplash up and back down to the

mat. Whiplash stands immediately and backs into the corner. Case runs in for a splash! Whiplash dodges out of the way! Whiplash off of the ropes. Clothesline takes Case down! But he immediately stands back up. Whiplash whips him from corner to corner, reversed by Case… into a huge belly-to-belly suplex!

Whiplash immediately goes to the outside and falls to his knees. Logan walks over to him and kicks him in his side. Aredone does the same—but Whiplash grabs Aredone’s foot from underneath him and he falls to the ground! Logan pulls Whiplash to his feet. But Whiplash hits him with wild lefts and rights! REBEL ROPE-A-DOPE! Logan stumbles back. And Case uses the opportunity to launch himself through the ropes at Whiplash, tackling him into the guard rail!

LARRY GORDON: Say what you will about Justin Case, but I don’t know any other 265 pounder that consistently does things like that night in and night out!

LINZI MARTIN: I can’t argue with you, Larry. He’s a one-of-a-kind talent.

With the help of Logan, Case gets to his feet. He picks Whiplash up. Fisherman’s suplex… ON THE CEMENT! Whiplash cries out, holding his back. Case picks him up slowly, cockily looking out at the crowd. He hooks him for a back suplex. Elbows from Whiplash! Elbows! HE TURNS IT INTO A RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP OUT OF NOWHERE! And before Case realizes it, Whiplash has him back to his feet with a BRAINBUSTER ON THE CEMENT!

LARRY GORDON: What heart J.T. Whiplash has!

Whiplash gets to his feet, pointing out at the fans who rally behind him. Whiplash reaches under the ring. HE HAS BARBED WIRE! He shows it to the fans who roar their approval. Aredone runs at him but Whiplash socks him with the barbed wire fist! Same for Logan! He begins wrapping his kneepad in the barbed wire! They start chanting!

COPPERHEAD BITE! COPPERHEAD BITE! COPPERHEAD BITE! COPPERHEAD BITE!

Case starts to stand… Whiplash runs at him with a knee lift that sends him back down and pierces his chest! He picks Case back up… COPPERHEAD BITE! COPPERHEAD BITE! The fans go crazy! Here comes Logan with a steel chair across the back! Whiplash turns around… steel chair to the skull! Case wipes the blood from his forehead and eyes. He picks Whiplash up. He looks PISSED that Whiplash just broke his talented skin. Back suplex! Rolls through… a SECOND! Rolls through… a THIRD! THIS TIME WHIPLASH LANDS ON HIS HEAD! ON THE CEMENT!

LARRY GORDON: My God, I know J.T. Whiplash, I know him damn well, and I gotta say it’s hurting my head to see what just happened to him! His head—first the steel chair, and then… my god I think Case BROKE THE DAMN MAN!

LINZI MARTIN: He isn’t moving, that’s for sure.

Justin Case looks out at the booing fans and smiles, knowing he just did a highlight reel move to one of REBEL’s legends.

LARRY GORDON: Justin Case might just win this tournament if he continues to moves like that!

Case rolls Whiplash into the ring. Whiplash seems to be knocked cold. Case applies the GAMEBREAKER! THE GAMEBREAKER! The referee asks Whiplash if he taps but he isn’t responsive. The ref has no choice. He lifts Whiplash’s hand once.

Twice.

Three times!

It’s over!

JENNY JERSEY: And your winner… “THE MILLENNIUM GAME” JUSTIN CASE!

*****Johnny, Tell’em What’s He Won!*****

As Justin Case has his hand raised in victory, “Indestructible” by Disturbed begins to play over the speakers. J.T. Whiplash disappears backstage in all the commotion, as Simon Kalis steps out with a microphone in hand.

Simon Kalis: Congratulations Justin. You’ve taken the first step down a pretty prestigious path, and I’m sure you’re wondering what this tournament is about.

The crowd cheers, as Case just nods in Kalis’ direction.

Simon Kalis: I know I promised to reveal what it was this week. Thing is… I like surprises. So I figure we’ll just keep it a secret.

The crowd boos a bit, they really wanted to know what the big deal was! Case, cocky and confident, just shrugs it off.

Simon Kalis: But know this, the reward for the winner will be worth it.

*****REBEL Pro Fecal Beagle Championship Match*****
*****Mikey Massacre versus Loren N. Chill©*****

The scene returns to the ring where “The Outsider [Apocalypse Mix]” by A Perfect Circle begins playing throughout the arena. A mixed reaction from the fans as Loren N. Chill emerges from the entranceway with a Fecal Beagle in one hand while the other secures the Curtain Jerker Championship on his shoulder.

Larry Gordon: One of REBEL Pro’s latest acquisitions, Loren N. Chill making his way to the ring.

Loren takes a sip of the Fecal Beagle as he makes his way down the aisle, nearly vomiting after the first drink. He throws the opened can of beer out across the audience before using his shirt to wipe off his tongue, leaving a brown spot on his shirt.

Once he reaches the ring, he slides in under the bottom rope and retrieves the microphone from Jenny Jersey. The music stops and we’re left with the slight roar of the audience.

Loren N. Chill: I’ve got a lot to do and a very small time allotment to do it in. So, it’s right down to business.

He turns and points to the announcer table.

Loren N. Chill: Larry Gordon… come on down!

Larry Gordon: I guess I’ve got to go.

We hear his headset hit the announcer table, the chant of “Larry” fills the arena as he walks up the steps and enters the ring, taking a place next to Loren.

Loren N. Chill: I told the fans, just as I told REBEL Pro that you and I had never been formally introduced and it was one of the more important items on my list tonight. — Let me start off by giving you this card I picked out for you at [CONTENT MISSING].

Loren reaches into his inner jacket pocket and pulls out a blue envelope, he hands it to Gordon who immediately starts opening it.

Loren N. Chill: You’re going to love it. I promise.

Gordon keeps tearing away at the envelope, finally pull the card out and flipping it over to reveal a picture of Loren giving him a double middle-finger. The fans ignite with a ‘boo’ as Gordon tosses the card to the ground.

Loren N. Chill: Don’t do that! You haven’t even opened it to read the inside, who knows, there could even be money!

Loren waits for Gordon to pick the card up. Gordon opens the card and the words, “FUCK YOU!” are bolded in red. Gordon tears the card up into pieces before throwing them in Loren’s face. Loren just gives a coy smile.

Loren N. Chill: You see Gordon, I don’t like you. It’s pretty obvious after that little display and I can only hope that you don’t like me just as much, if not more. Now, as for my reason for not liking, it is staring you in the face.

Loren points to the Curtain Jerker Championship on his shoulder.

Loren N. Chill: While most people want to blame Jeremy Gold for ‘recognizing’ this title, or blame Simon Kalis for not overturning Gold’s decision, the fact remains: this title wouldn’t even be in existence if it weren’t for you. In what appeared to be an act of kindness, you generously handed this title over to Bobby Lee and knowing how that kid’s head operates, he thought the world of it. Thought the world of you. But me, I set him free. I took this “kick me” sign off his back and look at him now. He’s actually got two wins to his credit now, both of those thanks in part to me. THAT is a gift.

Loren starts circling the ring, circling Gordon.

Loren N. Chill: Now that I have the title, everyone has began wondering what exactly I’m intend to do with it. Am I going to pawn it off on the first legitimate threat? Am I going to give it back to Bobby Lee? Or am I simply just going to keep it and defend it with every fiber of my being? — The answer to these questions are all, T-B-D. However, what isn’t waiting to be determined is my second order of business and that is renaming this title. Curtain Jerker Championship makes it sound like we’re having a circle jerk backstage with Emily Corlen as the pivot man, first one to deliver the money shot wins. Granted, we are doing that on a weekly basis, but it’s not for the title.

Linzi Martin: I wanted to be the pivot man. *sad face*

Loren N. Chill: From this moment forward, this title will be recognized as the Fecal Beagle Championship. You want to know why? Because it is nothing more than a remanufactured PIECE!! OF!! SHIT!!

Loren takes the title off his shoulder and throws it at Gordon, who follies it and it falls to the mat at his feet. Loren takes a step towards Gordon, putting him on his guard.

Loren N. Chill: Don’t worry. I’m not going to hit you. Not yet, anyway.

‘Boos’ erupt from the crowd.

Loren N. Chill: Lastly, I’m going to turn your little joke of a title into something worth a damn. Turn “shit into gold”, literally, so to speak.

Loren walks alcohol en viagra over to the side of the ring, the camera changes angles to see Dennis Reveni holding a briefcase which he throws towards viagra cialis levitra trial pack the ring. Loren manages to catch it and props it up in the corner behind Larry Gordon.

Loren N. Chill: Go ahead, take a look.

Gordon opens the briefcase and pulls out a real metal-plated title with leather strap. It carries the Fecal Beagle pup in the center, the metal-plating is made of copper.

Loren N. Chill: Isn’t she a beauty? Tell you what, why don’t you take that back to your announcer table and after I’m through with Mikey Massacre, I’ll let you do me the honor of putting it around my waist.

Loren gets nose to nose with Gordon.

Loren N. Chill: Welcome back, Larry.

Loren flips the microphone out of his hand, hitting Gordon in the chest with it before retreating to a corner, waiting for the start of his match. Gordon exits the ring, returning to his seat. Just as Jenny Jersey begins to announce Mikey’s entrance.

“Heavy Metal Machine” plays throughout the arena and appearing in the entranceway appears Mikey Massacre. Before Jenny Jersey can even begin announcing him, he rushes the ring and slides in under the bottom rope. Once he gets to his feet, he delivers a lariat to Chill which sends him to the mat. The music finally stops playing and the bell sounds.

* DING * DING * DING pharmacy checker canada *

Mikey Massacre picks Chill up to his feet and whips him across the ring, trying for a clothesline but Chill ducks. Coming off the opposite ropes, Chill tries for a flying cross body but gets caught like a small child by Mikey. Mikey delivers a backbreaker and showboats to the crowd, while the backbreaker seems to have no effect as Chill quickly gets right back up to his feet.

Chill waits for Mikey to turn around before delivering a boot to his stomach, a hard right to the head, another kick to the stomach and then a single-leg takedown. With Massacre on the mat, Chill goes for a figure-four but Massacre retreats into the ropes making it impossible.

Massacre gets to his feet, and the two circle one another before clashing into a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Massacre delivers a rake to the eyes, as Chill stumbles blindly about the ring Massacre delivers a boot of his own to Chill’s stomach. Pushing Chill up against the ropes, Massacre tries for a clothesline, but Chill ducks it and counters by backbody dropping Massacre to the outside floor.

Chill follows Massacre out, kicking him again in the stomach before smashing Massacre’s face into the guard rail around the ring area. As Chill goes to follow up, Massacre quickly delivers a hard right hand to the side of Chill’s head that sends him reeling backwards. Massacre gives pursuit, grabbing Chill and attempting to Irish whip him into the ringpost, but Chill reverses. Massacre hits the turnbuckle with a authority.

Massacre climbs back into the ring, but Chill wastes no time getting in himself and quickly locking Massacre up in a wristlock in the center of the ring. Massacre shuts out the pain and slowly starts to stand but Chill starts delivering forearm shots to Massacre’s back, keeping him down. Eventually Massacre gets to his feet and is able to break viagra generic the hold with a kick to the stomach, then clamping on a side headlock.

With a headlock takedown, he puts Chill onto the mat but Chill quickly grabs Massacre’s head with a head scissors. Mikey shows off his agility by nipping up and spins Chill out of his boots with another vicious clothesline.

With Chill on the mat, crawling, Massacre starts to deliver kicks to the side of his head. Chill finally getting to his feet, only to get Irish whipped across the ring and taken back down with a power slam. Massacre goes for the cover.

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Massacre pulls Chill and props him against the ropes. Driving his knees into his stomach a few times before delivering a couple of hard uppercuts. Choking Chill, he backs him up into a corner before Irish whipping him to the adjacent corner, but Chill reverses and comes charging full steam and goes for a spear but Massacre side steps him. Chill tackles the ringpost with authority and gets dumped out onto the apron by Massacre.

Once Chill stands, Massacre bends his neck over the top rope and starts clubbing at his chest with more forearm shots. Chill stumbles along the apron as Massacre turns his back and plays off to the REBEL Pro fans who begin cheering. But are they cheering for him? Or because Chill has started to climb the turnbuckle?

Massacre turns around as Chill comes off the top rope with a flying cross body, but Massacre carries the momentum over into a pin of his own, hooking Chill’s leg.

1!

2!

3!!!

* DING * DING * DING *

“Heavy Metal Machine” plays throughout the arena and Mikey begins to celebrate until he sees the referee place the Fecal Beagle Championship onto Loren’s waist. The idea of losing even though you won, the thought drives Mikey insane. He grabs the referee and spikes his face into the canvas and then picks him up and throws him over the top rope to the outside, the poor referees face bashing against the steel steps. Mikey hops out of the ring and cusses out the fans but security arrives quickly this time to make sure he doesn’t do any more damage.

*****Getting The Band Back Together*****

We fade backstage, again to Simon’s office.

Simon Kalis: Yeah. Well I look forward to it, brother. You finally coming to the AoWF, let alone REBEL Pro… It changes things.

Simon ashes his cigarette and nods.

Simon Kalis: I know. Well. We’ll show them how it’s done. Don’t worry.

He pauses again.

Simon Kalis: I don’t know. We’ll figure it out, but I’ll see you soon then man.

Kalis hangs up the phone and finally notices the cameras. He doesn’t do a thing but shrug, smile and offer a peace sign as we fade to ringside.

*****REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Match*****
*****Virgil Keenan versus Jaice Wilds versus Violet Harper©*****

1!

2!!

BREAK! Virgil breaks the count.

Linzi Martin: This is going to be a lot of back and forth I bet.

Larry Gordon: Each one of them wants that Aggression title, Linzi.

Virgil lifts Harper up and grapples, and begins kneeing her repeatedly in the stomach and chest as Jaice Wilds slides out of the ring and begins searching for some extra firepower. Violet twists herself out of the grapple and hit’s a shining wizard on Virgil, taking him down to the canvas. She then falls back, hitting a dropkick to his face as he sits up and putting him back down.

Larry Gordon: That’s why she’s been Aggression Champion. She knows how to get herself out of sticky situations.

Linzi Martin: Oh my, Larry.

Larry Gordon: What? I didn’t mean it anything like that!

Linzi Martin: Sure you didn’t.

Jaice has a steel chair and decides to take the time to wrap it up in some barbed wire as Violet comes off the ropes with an asai moonsault on Keenan. She covers!

1!

Jaice finishes wrapping the chair in barbed wire.

2!!

Jaice slides back in.

Virgil puts the brass knuckles on over his fist and clenches, staring vengefully at Jaice for what happened a few short weeks ago. He slides back in the ring and stops Jaice from chaing Violet out of the ring and swings and knocks Wilds right across the face, busting open Wilds’ forehead immediately. Jaice hits the ropes but holds on, preventing himself from bouncing. Harper gets up and watches on from the outside, perhaps calculating her next move. Jaice says something inaudible to Keenan as he steps forward again, blood trickling down his face. Virgil doesn’t say a word but instead takes another swing and knocks Jaice right back into the ropes. Jaice falls to his knees and looks woozy as he looks back up at Virgil, who seems ready to finish knocking Jaice the fuck out.

Larry Gordon: Virgil better remember there’s someone else in this match.

Linzi Martin: SEXY TIME!!!

Violet slides back into the ring as Virgil raises his fist back high into the air over a woozy and bloodied Jaice Wilds. Violet picks up the barbed wire chair and taps Virgil with it from behind. Virgil spins around, and BANG! Violet brings the chair down hard over his face and he stumbles around a bit woozy himself now. Violet throws the chair at him, he catches it before it hits his face! Bicycle kick from Violet into the chair, right into Virgil’s face! He’s busted open now as he stumbles all the way into the ropes and Jaice uses his body to flip Virgil Keenan right over the top rope and onto the outside.

Larry Gordon: I get the feeling neither Jaice nor Violet appreciate Virgil Keenan in this match. He is the only one here who has never held REBEL Pro gold.

Linzi Martin: You’re probably right. Virgil comes off as such an asshole to everyone, but I do think he’s kinda funny too.

Jaice is back up and he knee drops his right knee into Harper’s throat after grabbing her and bringing her down, before picking her up by her long hair and whipping her into the ropes. He kneels forward as if to throw her up but she stops the momentum, and lands a vicious kick into Jaice Wild’s chest. he stumbles back as she runs, jumps and hits a shoulder block into his face. Wilds bounces off the ropes and The Aggression Champion follows up with an implant DDT taking Jaice to the canvas hard face first. She’s on her feet once again as is Jaice but he remains wobbly. She kicks him in the mid section and lands a vicious spinning neck breaker taking them both to the canvas. She quickly pulls him forward, wrapping her legs around him as she covers him. It looks like a fun place to be though, trust me.

1!

2!!

THREEE-NO! JAICE KICKS OUT!

Larry Gordon: And Violet nearly ends this match.

Linzi Martin: Jaice was so lucky to have her…So close. I mean. Yeah.

Violet gets to her feet and puts the barbed wire chair down on Jaice Wilds’ chest. Virgil Keenan disappears under the ring now, doing who knows what. Violet climbs to the top rope. She stands up precariously, but then flies off with a Corckscrew 630 Senton, landing between the chair and Jaice, hurting both of them tremendously.

Larry Gordon: See how is she not REBEL Pro material? Sacrificing her own body for victory.

Linzi Martin: I don’t know, ask Mikey.

Violet covers!

1!

The ring starts shifting near them? I mean it looks like something is banging against it from underneath trying to rip it open.

2!!

VIRGIL FUCKING BREAKS THROUGH THE BOTTOM OF THE RING WITH A LEAD PIPE WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE! What a nut! He just made a huge hole in the ring!

3!!!

NO!!! VIRGIL CRACKS VIOLET IN THE HEAD WITH THAT PIPE!

Linzi Martin: I’ve NEVER seen that!

Larry Gordon: He just bought himself a ring.

Virgil pulls himself up and as Jaice Wilds comes to, Virgil with a lung blower on Jaice Wilds! Jaice rolls away. But Violet Harper is up and she takes Virgil down with a bridged German suplex! The cover!

1!

Jaice Wilds hops up onto the top rope!

2!!

He’s wobbly, but…

THREEEE-NO!! JAICE WILDS WITH AERIAL ACE ON VIOLET HARPER!!!

Linzi Martin: Oh SHI

Jaice Wilds throws Violet off of Virgil and covers!!!

1!!

Virgil realizes what’s going on!

2!!!

Nuh uh he says!

3!!!!

NO! Virgil “accidentally” grabs onto the referee and uses him to get to his feet, ruining the count. Violet Harper rolls away as Jaice gets to his feet and starts arguing with Virgil. Violet Harper recovers and slides out of the ring as Jaice and Virgil begin pushing each other around, the referee still recovering. Violet returns, and she’s found a canister of gas which she douses herself with.

Linzi Martin: Oh fuck. Violet!

Harper sets herself on fire as she gets to the top rope, Keenan throws himself back. Jaice turns around, A FIERY PURPLE HAZE ON JAICE WILDS!!! Violet Harper manages to roll around and put herself out. Virgil goes after her but she ducks and hits him with a spinning heel kick that sends him over the top rope. Violet covers!!!!

But there’s still no damn referee!

She gets to her feet and begins pushing the referee around to wake him up, and he does. Just as Jaice comes to and rolls her up in a schoolboy!

1!

2!!

3!!!

NO! Virgil Keenan pulls Jaice Wilds out of the ring and cracks him with the brass knuckles, before throwing Jaice right into the fans at front row. Virgil Keenan slides into the ring as Violet gets to her feet. Violet moves in for a move, but Virgil grabs her, throws her around… BURNING HAMMER!!! BURNING HAMMER ON VIOLET HARPER!

1!

2!!

Jaice finally gets to the ring, but…

3!!!

DING DING DING

Larry Gordon: What an upset!!!

Linzi Martin: NO!!! NO!!!! VIOLET!!! SEXY TIME CAN’T END!!!

Virgil is handed the Aggression title which he raises high in the air.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, and NEEEEEEEEEW REBEL Pro Aggression Champion…. VIRGIL KEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAN!!!!!

Confetti and shit starts to come down from the rafters like we’re Victory Wrestling here as Virgil climbs up to the turnbuckle and raises the title. Violet looks up, she can’t believe what’s happened and Jaice points up at Virgil and lets him know this is far from over.

Larry Gordon: The reign of Sexy Time, finally, comes to an end.

Linzi Martin: I’m gonna cry, Larry. Hold me!

Linzi throws herself on Larry, forgetting his heart condition as she wraps her legs all on him.

Larry Gordon: My oh my.

*****Chaos*****

The shot cuts to backstage, where Justin Case and Rocky Logan are talking in the locker room. Their driver busts in the room.

DRIVER: “Theres….. a…. there’s a bulldozer…. the limo!”

The scene cuts to a bulldozer going at full speed as it crashes into a huge black limousine. The camera shows an Order of Chaos emblem on the hood. The driver steps out of the bulldozer.

It’s Vincent Black. He has a genuine look of surprise on his face.

VINCENT: “Oops.”

He gets back in the bulldozer, and pushes the limo out of the way, clearing the way for the white limousine near it. He revvs the throttle, and plows into the side of the other limo as fast as possible, pushing it hard into the side of the Mellon Arena. He backs the bulldozer up, and hits it again, crumpling the car even more. He gets out of the bulldozer, and starts walking towards the arena as Justin Case and Rocky Logan meet him head on.

A big boot lays out Justin Case, but Rocky Logan does a nice single leg takedown that puts Black on his back. Logan scrambles to the top position, and starts a ground and pound that instantly busts Vincent’s broken orbital bone area open, pouring blood. After a few shots to the face, Black reaches up and grabs Logan by the throat, tossing him off of Black. Black is up quickly, and Case connects with a toe kick to the midsection. Black doubles over, but comes up swinging with an uppercut that connects hard. Rocky attacks Vincent from behind, and Vincent spins to land a few punches. Justin Case attacks Black from behind.

Black is fighting back decently well, yet bleeding heavily from the cut under his arm. A huge headbutt sends Rocky to the ground, and here come the security guards. They step in, pulling Case away from Black, but not before Black lands a solid right that staggers Case. Black turns around as a stop sign posts hits him hard in the chest. He staggers back, and actually falls on his ass as security wrestle the sign post away from Rocky Logan. Black is up quickly, and security is trying to hold everyone back. Finally, Simon Kalis comes in with the manilla envelope.

Simon Kalis: “Fine, you want to fight? Put yourself on the shelf?? Fucking fine. That works for me.”

Kalis pulls out a lighter, and lights the folder on fire.

Simon Kalis: “It’s not official anymore. What IS official is a falls count anywhere match. Vincent Black versus Case Filed Rockets in Detroit. Black, you wanna play the tough guy game, here’s your chance.”

Black smiles through the blood, nodding his head. Case and Logan regroup, as Logan points at Vincent, talking trash, as Simon simply walks back into the arena and we fade off.

*****The Return?*****

Simon Kalis sighs as he makes his way through the hallway after trying to wrap his head around Vincent Black’s death wish. He turns a corner but stops dead in his tracks as he comes to his office door. There’s smoke billowing out from inside and we can see Jeremy Gold is knocked out cold, propped up against the wall near the office. Simon rushes over and pulls Gold away from the smoke, leaving him on the floor.

Linzi Martin: Jesus what now?!

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Kalis approaches the door to his office, and looks in to find everything is on fire inside. He pulls out a cigarette and lights it on one of the flames coming up before stepping back and closing the door. It’s then he sees something has been carved into the door itself. A message. He reads it, and smirks as he takes a drag off his cigarette.

Simon Kalis: So… You’re back.

He takes his right hand and pulls out his glass eye from his left eye socket, dropping it to the ground. He backs off and picks up Jeremy Gold, throwing him over his shoulder and calmly walking away.

The camera zooms in on the message on the door…

Matthew 18:9- And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Dodo-A-Gogo defeats Golden Inferno, killing Emlee Korlin in the process.
Justin Case defeats J.T. Whiplash, and finds himself one step closer to something. We think
Mikey Massacre defeats Loren Chill, and breaks shit again.
Virgil Keenan defeats Violet Harper & Jaice Wilds to become the new Aggression Champion

*****Guess Who’s Back?*****

A midnight blue convertible 1966 Chevrolet Corvette pulls into the parking lot. Stepping out from this sharp looking classic is none other than Rebel Pro Majority Owner, Larry Gordon. After nodding to the camera, he pulls a briefcase out of the car and steps into the building.

*****When The Cat Is Out, The Mice Will Play*****

There’s a quick shot change to inside Jeremy Gold’s office, which is probably good given the fact Simon is holding him up against the wall, and if we could see Simons face behind the mask he’s now wearing to cover up his mutilated face, we’re sure he looks pissed off.

Simon Kalis: You up and “recognized” a cardboard title?

Jeremy Gold: I thought it’d be fun! Entertaining!

Gold whimpers, Simon dropping him down.

Jeremy Gold: You gotta admit, it’s special.

Kalis slams the door on his way out, and Gold wipes the tears out of his eyes.

*****Bobby Lee versus Jimmy Henderson*****

The two meet up in the center of the ring for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, Jimmy wastes no time in walking Bobby into the corner and driving his leg into his stomach. Bobby keels over and Jimmy drives a forearm over his back, sending Bobby to his knees.

Pulling Bobby up by his hair, Jimmy throws a hard right hand to the side of the head that sends Bobby back to the mat. Jimmy, stalking him, pulls Bobby to his feet only to put him back down with a scoop slam followed up by a standing elbow drop into the sternum. Jimmy immediately goes for the cover.

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Jimmy gets to his feet, pulling Bobby to his feet and attempts a suplex, but Bobby quickly seizes the opportunity and goes for an inside cradle.

1!

KICK OUT!

Both men quickly get to their feet, but Jimmy is the quicker of the two and drives another forearm shot across the shoulders of Bobby. Getting him to his feet, Jimmy shoves Bobby into the ropes before whipping across the ring and trying for a clothesline that misses. Bobby bounces off the ropes again and tries for a cross body, but gets caught. Jimmy walks around the ring, show boating before sending Bobby to the mat with a fall away slam that sends him to the floor.

Jimmy heads to the outside of the ring, pulling Bobby to his feet and Irish whipping him into the steel steps. With Bobby momentarily subdued on the outside, Jimmy grabs the top half of the stairs and launches them over the top rope into the ring. He then proceeds to dig under the ring to find a set of trash cans, throwing both lids and one canister in the ring – the other he keeps for himself, stalking Bobby with it.

Bobby is crawling on the floor until Jimmy slams the trash can into his back, pulls him to his feet and then throws him into the ring. Jimmy starts to slide into the ring, but Bobby seizes the opportunity to grab the canister in the ring and dents it over Jimmy’s head. Jimmy wobbles for a second, Bobby takes another swing, this time with the bottom of the can. Jimmy falls onto his back and Bobby goes for the cover.

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

With Jimmy still on the mat, using the bottom rope as a spring board, Bobby begins stomping at his chest repeatedly. Bobby walks back over to the canister, waiting for Jimmy to get to his feet before swinging it like a baseball bat this time into the side of Jimmy’s head. Jimmy staggers but doesn’t fall. Bobby delivers a couple of hard right hands to Jimmy’s skull before running to the ropes but Jimmy is waiting with a boot to the face, killing all of Bobby’s momentum.

Jimmy grabs Bobby by the hair once more, walking him like a dog over to the steel steps in the ring. Jimmy stands on top and gets set to piledrive Bobby’s head into them. Struggling to get him upright, Jimmy finds himself on the receiving end of a back body drop onto the mat. Bobby quickly heads under the ring and pulls out a ladder, sliding it into the ring and climb back in himself afterward.

Jimmy tries to get to his feet, but Bobby slams the ladder into his back, sending Jimmy back down to the mat. Bobby stands the ladder up in the corner, while Jimmy is finally able to get to his feet. Jimmy secures the steel steps and as Bobby turns around, he gets caught in the face with them.

Jimmy pulls Bobby to his feet and delivers another forearm shot to the back that sends Bobby rolling across the mat. Jimmy stands Bobby back up and Irish whips him into the corner, but Bobby uses his momentum to climb the turnbuckle at a dead run, quickly turning around he comes off with a springboard 450 plancha. Both men appear to be spent.

Slowly to their feet. Jimmy, ever the opportunist, grabs one of the trash can lids and uses it to bat down Bobby before he can even finishing standing up. Jimmy shoves the referee out of the way before turning and grabbing the battered trash can still in the ring. With Jimmy’s back turned, Bobby grabs the trash can lid he just dropped and with authority, smashes it over Jimmy’s head.

BLOOD! WE GOT BLOOD! Welcome back Jimmy!

Bobby swings the canister lid a few more times before Jimmy finally falls to his back on the mat. Bobby, still with the lid, makes his way over to the ladder in the corner and begins to ascend. Jimmy rises to his feet and begins to ascend the other side of the ladder. Bobby pummels Jimmy with the trash can lid several more times.

Jimmy finally falls from the top of the ladder and Bobby is quick to reach the top tier of the ladder. Lobbing the canister lid onto Jimmy’s face from up top, Bobby comes off the the top of the ladder and lands awkwardly on Jimmy. Jimmy gets to his feet, Psycho Paraphenalia from Bobby Lee! Bobby Lee lays down next to Jimmy, then places Jimmy’s arm over him.

Linzi Martin: What the hell is he doing?

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Bobby Lee kicks out of his uhm.. Own stuff? Who knows, the point is he did so because there is a large Gray Alien at ringside now stalking him. Bobby Lee’s eyes are incredibly wide as he stares in horror at his arch nemesis, a genuine Zeti Reticuli alien. Who is also, oddly enough, drinking a can of Fecal Beagle’s and he looks at the can as if it “tastes like shit”.

Linzi Martin: Only in Philly.

Bobby Lee faints, and he falls right on top of Jimmy Henderson.

1!

2!

3!

* DING * DING * DING *

Jenny Jersey: Here is your winner… Bobby Lee!

The alien removes his mask, obviously to reveal it’s Loren N. Chill behind it. He laughs it off as he walks back up the entrance ramp.

Linzi Martin: So the point of this was to cost Bobby Lee the match, by making him win? These two were made for each other, I tell you.

*****So Wait, What Was This About?*****

We fade backstage and find Rupert The Kangaroo nodding as he looks over Virgil Keenan, who leans over the desk to stare Simon Kalis directly in the eyes.

Virgil Keenan: So? What’d you say?

Kalis leans back, cupping his hands over his belly and nodding.

Simon Kalis: You make an incredibly sound argument there Virgil. Rupert? What’d you think?

Gold perks up from the couch as Rupert seems to nod in agreement.

Simon Kalis: Consider it done. You and Wilds and Har-

Jeremy Gold: Wait you’re gonna ask the fucking kangaroo his opinion over me?

Virgil Keenan gets up, a sly smirk over his face as he nods to Simon and walks out. Rupert lights a cigarette and blows the smoke in Gold’s face.

Simon Kalis: He’s smarter than you are.

Gold buries his face in his hands as we fade to ringside…

*****Virgil Keenan versus Loren N. Chill*****

“We Are The End” by Alexisonfire hits and the crowd jumps to their feet.

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall and uhm. I guess, is for the REBEL Pro Curtain Jerker Championship by default!

Virgil Keenan steps out with a “WTF” look on his face, he obviously doesn’t want the Curtain Jerker title.

Linzi Martin: Luckily for him he only gets that title if he loses, which he probably doesn’t want to.

Keenan slides into the ring and accepts the mixed reaction from the crowd.

Then, “Let Me Prey” by Van Helsing’s Curse begins playing throughout as the arena is now engulfed in red overhead lights, the REBELTron now displays alien-like symbols and images. As the lights over the entranceway come on we can see what appears to be a dozen black-robed Yautjas (Predators, for those of you who never read the comics), some with masks, some without.

?

### CENTURIES HAD PASSED ###
### AND THE WORLD HAD CHANGED ###
### BUT IT KNEW THEY HAD NOT ###

### FIRST THEY WOULD TRY TO FIGHT ###

### THEN THEY WOULD TRY TO RUN ###

### AND THEN THEY WOULD PRAY ###

The maniacal laughter that was once Patient 4479 can be heard echoing through the arena.

### “LET US PRAY” ###

### NO! ###

### LET ME PREY ###

The Yautjas make their way down the aisle in pairs and begin to circle around the ring. Bobby Lee tries to scramble for a new place to hide but quickly retreats back into the ring, snatching up his riot shield and cautiously watching all sides of the ring.

Then, at the top of the entrance appears two more Yautja, one of which is completely decked out with battle-ready armor.

?

The two Yautja, Loren & Dennis, make their way down to the ring. Dennis gets down on all fours next to the ring apron and Loren uses his back as a step up. Once on the apron, Loren steps into the ring and the camera focuses on Bobby Lee who has appeared to literally soil his pants.

?

Loren moves in for an immediate strike, a flying lariat as he goes towards Keenan hard. He manages to hit Virgil Keenan in the face cleanly, but Virgil rolls with the move and shrugs it off before stepping back and watching Chill for the next strike. Keenan is on his feet and rushes towards Chill but Keenan throws a knee out and both their knees hit, Loren flips over, hitting the canvas hard. Virgil Keenan picks Chill by the neck and hip tosses him to the canvas before following it up with a well placed elbow drop to Chill’s throat. Seemingly calm, cool and collected as well in control.

Linzi Martin: Virgil really impresses me, you know. He came out of no where into REBEL Pro and really seems like a legitimate contender.

The camera catches Linzi looking around all shifty eyed around her, but alas she is still alone at the announcers table.

Linzi Martin: I concur.

Virgil back on his feet, but out of no where Loren Chill grabs him from behind and pulls him down with a school boy!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Linzi Martin: Odd one that Loren *censored* Chill isn’t he?

Keenan easily kicks out jusssst after the 2 count and he immediately gets to his feet. He hit’s a sudden snap suplex on Chill and immediately gets back to his feet and grabs The Curtain Jerker Champion by the legs. Chill tries to wiggle his legs out of Virgils grip but he can’t as Virgil locks in a sharpshooter, clenching it and applying immediate pressure. He wrenches the sharpshooter on Chill but he flat out refuses to give up, shaking his head vehemently. Virgil yells out to Loren to just “give up”.

Linzi Martin: Wait whoa!

Bobby Lee comes running out from backstage and Loren quickly taps out.

Linzi Martin: What the fu-

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match by submission… VIRGIL KEENAN!!!

Keenan seems bewildered but shrugs it off and has his hands raised nonetheless. Bobby Lee grabs the CJ Title and tries to run off with it but Chill leaps over the top rope and tackles Bobby Lee to the ground. They begin a scrap as Virgil walks back up the ramp, obviously content with another win under the belt.

Linzi Martin: I guess this means Loren retains his title uhm, yeah. It does. But… Oh shit.

Bobby Lee, with one end of the title, Loren, with the other. Both men rip it in half. Bobby Lee can’t believe it neither can Loren Chill, but Lee leaps into the crowd and on his way out.

Linzi Martin: Well to be fair folks, the belt was made out of cardboard and crayons.

Chill gives chase as we fade backstage.

Linzi Martin: My favourite part was how the entrances took longer than the actual match.

*****Just A Couple of Ideas*****

A knock on the door causes Simon to look up as Larry Gordon walks in, carrying his briefcase, Simon smirks.

Simon: “Trying to be all mysterious?”

Gordon laughs as he shakes his head.

Larry: “Not really, just some things I wanted to discuss with you.”

Larry sits down in front of the desk, allowing Simon to sit behind it, where he’s been this entire time.

Simon: “You know that camera is running and everyone wants to know how you are doing.”

Gordon nods.

Larry: “True and fact is that I’m doing fine. I could actually come back and run this company.”

Simon just stares, but Gordon quickly holds up his hand.

Larry: “But the fact is that the ratings are outrageous, you are doing an excellent job, and the profits are pouring in more than even I could have imagined. But there is one or two things I’d like to discuss.”

Gordon looks at Simon, who nods.

Larry: “Rebel Pro was based on hardcore wrestling.”

Simon nods his agreement, Gordon smiles.

Larry: “And while I love the middle rope idea of barbed wire, how about this…”

Gordon pulls out a drawing of a Rebel Pro ring. The ropes are all wrapped in barbed wire while the turnbuckles are covered in barbed wire as well. Simon looks down and smiles.

Simon: “Easily done Larry, but this can’t be the only reason you are here tonight.”

Gordon shakes his head.

Larry: “Its not Simon and unless you have another person in mind… I miss this business terribly and seeing as I’m in much better health…”

Simon nods, knowing exactly where Larry is going.

Larry: “The decision is totally up to you, I will not make it for you, but if you need an announcer then you’ve got one sitting across the desk from you right now. Could do a three man team or stick to just two; call is strictly up to you.”

Simon ponders this for a bit as we fade back to ringside.

****Mikey Massacre versus Jaice Wilds*****

“Animals” by Nickelback fills the arena and Jaice Wilds steps out of the entranceway before running a full sprint to the ring and sliding under the ropes. Quickly to his feet, he runs to one of the corners, climbing up to the middle turnbuckle and pointing to the crowd who give him a mixed reaction. Stepping up to the third turnbuckle, he does a backflip into the center of the ring and await’s the arrival of Mikey Massacre.

“Heavy Metal Machine” by Smashing Pumpkins hits the airwaves and the crowd jumps to their feet. Mikey Massacre appears at the entranceway, taking the time to let the déjà vu fully sink in before idly making his way down to the ring.

DING DING

Mikey drops the gun, collar and elbow tie up. Mikey with a wristlock into a hammerlock. He slaps the cheek of Jaice before releasing the hold. Jaice Wilds turns around charging at Mikey; drop toe hold and Jaice Wilds is on the canvas. Kip up by Mikey has him back on his feet, baseball slide into Jaice, who rolls out of the way. Jaice up to his feet, throwing a right hand at Mikey, it connects driving the Bearded Bastard backwards into the center of the ring. Another right hand, Mikey ducks underfull nelson merging into a DDT sends Jaice forehead first onto the canvas. Mikey kips up wiping sweat from his brow then slapping his hand across Jaice’s face. Mikey hits the ropes, seeming to be ready for an elbow drop, Jaice Wilds moves as the elbow comes down, Mikey’s elbow slams into the canvas hard. Jaice Wilds up quickly hitting the ropes with a springboard lionsault that flattens Mikey to the canvas. He quickly pulls the Bearded Bastard back to his feet, Irish whip into the corner. Wilds charges in, Mikey with a foot raised. Jaice slides under the bottom rope, having ducked under the foot. As he slides past Mikey’s foot, he grabs the planted foot, pulling it with his momentum. Mikey lands face first on the canvas as Wilds’ momentum keeps him going, Mikey crotched on the ringpost. The crowd groans.

Linzi Martin: This crowd not liking Mikey are they?

Jaice Wilds gets back up and begins clapping to get the crowd into this match, they get his point and begin to clap along with him. He jumps to the apron, leaps to the top turnbuckle and dives with a back elbow! Mikey rolls out of the way, Jaice rolls through the move unharmed. He spins back around charging at Mikey. Armdrag takedown and now Jaice Wilds is going on the defensive. Jaice up to a knee, Mikey struggling to keep him down. Right hand to the ribs of Mikey, a second. Mikey drops the hold, spins around, leg sweep takes Jaice down. Wilds lands on his shoulders but continues the roll backwards until he is up on his feet, Mikey can’t believe this. He charges with a clothesline, Wilds ducks under, Mikey with a mule kick sends Jaice Wilds shoulder first into the ringpost. He comes back holding at his injured shoulder in pain. Mikey kicks out with his right boot, but Wilds has obviously scouted as he ducks under the kick.

Linzi Martin: Wilds lucky he dodged that.
Mikey brings his foot back down as Jaice Wilds charges at his planted leg with a spear, Mikey leaps into the air with a one legged leap frog. Jaice’s momentum sends him through the ropes, he manages to catch the middle rope, spin himself around, slide in under the bottom rope and kip up to his feet in one fluid motion. Mikey looks impressed with that series and nods. Jaice Wilds holds at his shoulder again, because that little display cost him dearly. He once again charges at Mikey, rolling thunder stop into a leg sweep into boot heel to the throat of Mikey!

Linzi Martin: I honestly saw all this coming. Takes smarts.
Mikey kips up to his feet, hits the ropes, and rebounds with a springboard lionsault onto Jaice. Mikey climbs to the top turnbuckle, looks down at Jaice and mimics shooting him with a gun. Mikey leaps into action with the same series that Jaice just performed; this one being a bit more awkward than Jaice’s version, but connects. Mikey lifts Jaice up, hitting him with a series of vertical suplexes and ending with an Everplex to the center of the ring. Mikey then goes outside to retrieve a steel chair and climbs to the top turnbuckle and looks down on his opponent, Jaice Wilds.

Linzi Martin: I won’t lie, I miss having Mikey here with me. But I don’t think he really liked me.

Mikey is standing on the top turnbuckle, chair in hand and leaps, tossing the chair down just before he hits “The Sellout(chair assisted frogsplash).! Jaice moves! Jaice Wilds moves out of the way, kicking the chair back up into Mikey’s face! Mikey’s head is rocked backwards and Jaice is there sitting Mikey in the chair before climbing to the top rope!

Aerial Ace!

Cover!

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Here is your winner…. Jaice Wilds!

Mikey Massacre rolls out of the ring, obviously pissed off. He grabs a few chairs and begins throwing them around, even going as far as to knock a fans face in with one. Jaice Wilds heads back up the entrance ramp, as security rushes in past him.

Linzi Martin: Oh my old buddy Mikey doesn’t seem too happy with how this turned out.

Massacre takes down the first three security guards with chair shots but they taser him to get him sedated, sort of.

Linzi Martin: Was that necessary guys?!

Security drags Massacre off, the crowd booing him as they go.

*****Percepshun*****

We arrive at the front door where Anna Mathews is attempting to carefully lead Lisa Seldon through the building.

Anna Mathews: Com on slwpoke!

Attempt is of course the operable word as Lisa sits back on her heels, forcing Anna to drag her through the halls. Which looks odd… especially with the puppet… and the talking belt… and the moose. It’s a regular carnival.

Anna Mathews: Wi hav 2 go c the wzard!

Finally, Lisa comes to a complete halt and throws down her arm. Anna turns back to grab her again but recoils when Lisa huffs loudly in her general direction.

Lisa Seldon: What the hell are you doing? I’m not blind!

Anna Mathews: But ur depth percepshun!

Her tone jumps up and bites you in the ears.

Anna Mathews: Evrythin’ iz closr or furthr awy than u fink!

As if to further emphasise the point, Anna wildly flails her arms in the air. And carries right on doing so until Lisa steps forward and grabs her by the shoulders.

Lisa Seldon: No it is not! Everything is exactly where I expect it to be!

Lisa shakes her back and forth with every word; and then a little more there after just because she’s annoyed. With nothing to say, Anna decides instead to smile ridiculously.

PuppetLisa: What about the peoples?

Lisa looks down as the puppet appears from the bottom of your screen. Lisa sneers back.

Lisa Seldon: The peoples will all get the hell out of my way! Because I am declaring war!

Lisa then pushes the puppet aside (yup) and storms down the nearest hallway, pushing at least two peoples into the wall as she goes. Anna meanwhile clicks her heels and skips along after, her entourage in tow.

Anna Mathews: Com along, Travolta!

Travolta is the moose.

*****Jamie Flynn versus J.T. Whiplash*****

The lights go out as an image of a copperhead slithering down a dirt road airs on the REBEL-Tron as the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play with the snake slithering down the path. The snake then coils up in position to strike as the bagpipe intro ends and “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system as red, white, and blue lighting goes off throughout the arena. Just then, a spot-light shines on J.T. Whiplash in his wrestling attire, holding a Rebel flag as the fans erupt in cheers. J.T. then waves the Rebel flag in the air hollering as he does so. He then puts the flag over his shoulder as he makes his way to the ring slowly, tagging hands with as many fans as he can get to as he gets to the end of the ramp-way, pausing as he waves his Rebel flag around again before walking to the ring steps and sticking his Rebel flag in the ring post as he steps over the middle rope and climbs in the ring, shouting and hollering for the fans to cheer as he climbs up each second turn-buckle and lets out a loud “YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAWWW!!!” as he gives the crowd a bull-horn sign before he paces back and forth in the ring like a pissed-off hyena as he runs against the ropes a couple of times before going back to pacing as the music dies down.

“Knights of Cydonia” by Muse plays throughout the arena, but you can’t hear it because all the fans are on their feet. Jamie Flynn emerges from the entranceway, staring out across the crowd before making his way down to the ring.

* DING * DING * DING *

The two waste no time with a collar and elbow tie-up, Jamie Flynn is quick with a headlock but J.T. Whiplash quickly rushes him back to the ropes and shoves him off. Flynn comes off the ropes across the ring and Whiplash tries for a hip toss but it’s blocked. Flynn tries one of his own, it too is blocked. So Flynn settles for an arm drag take down.

As Whiplash gets to his feet, Flynn runs full steam and catches Whiplash with a clothesline that sends him to the mat. Flynn gets Whiplash to his feet and Irish whips him into the corner and follows him in with a running roundhouse kick. Flynn stands over Whiplash as he gets to his feet. Flynn tries to grab Whiplash by his wrist, but Whiplash quickly drives the tip of his boot into Flynn’s gut.

Whiplash follows up with several hard right hands that jar Flynn’s head, sending him up against the ropes. Whiplash shakes the punches off his fist before pursuing further. Whiplash proceeds to Irish whip Flynn across the ring and attempts a back body drop but Flynn flips over J.T.’s back and lands on his feet. As Whiplash turns around, he is caught with a crescent kick to the jaw.

With Whiplash on the mat near the ropes, Flynn runs to the ropes and delivers a baseball slide slash drop kick that sends Whiplash to the outside of the ring. Flynn seizing every opportunity steps out onto the apron and waits for Whiplash. Once J.T. gets to his feet, Flynn comes running and flying off the apron but Whiplash ducks the plancha and Flynn hit’s the floor.

Whiplash pulls Flynn to his feet and starts driving some more hard right hands into his skull, chasing Flynn around the ring as he does. Once he’s done pummeling him, Whiplash hooks Flynn up for a suplex but it’s blocked. Flynn hoists Whiplash up and slams his stomach onto the guardrail outside of the ring and then punches J.T. in the head several times. Once he’s incapacitated him long enough, Flynn climbs onto the apron and leaps off with a spinning leg drop.

Once Flynn gathers himself, he leaves Whiplash on the floor and digs under the ring for a table, setting it up. No sooner than the table is staged, Whiplash catches Flynn with a boot to the face as he turns around. Grabbing Flynn by the hair, he begins running with him and throws him face first into the steel steps.

With Flynn back to his feet, Whiplash starts delivering some vicious knife-edge chops to his Jamie’s chest. Again, chasing him around the ring as he does. Whiplash then Irish whips Flynn face first into the corner post of the ring. Whiplash throws Flynn into the ring, standing over him long enough to measure his next move which is a leaping leg drop across the neck and going for the cover.

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Whiplash picks Flynn up and shoves him back into the corner, picking and choosing where he lands his punches and his kicks effectively. Flynn reverses, throwing some punches and kicks of his own before Irish whipping J.T. to the opposing corner and trying to follow-up with his clothesline, but he catches a face fool of Whiplash’s shoe.

Whiplash picks Flynn off the mat and drapes his throat across the ropes, using all of his massive frame to begin choking the life out of Flynn for several seconds before breaking the hold. Flynn falls to the mat, clutching at his throat. Whiplash quickly hooks Flynn into a camel clutch and rears back as hard as he can. The ref is there to check for a submission.

Flynn begins fighting his way out, using the ropes to pull himself to his feet but before he’s able to capitalize, Whiplash punches him in the throat and then clotheslines him to the mat. Flynn gets to his feet in the corner, but Whiplash is there driving boot after boot into his stomach once again. Flynn mounts a counter, striking Whiplash in the gut with a fist of his own. And another. And another.

Flynn starts striking rapidly now. One to the head, one to the body, back to the head, a kick to the ribs, kick to the knee and a roundhouse to the chest. With some separation now, Flynn takes off for the ropes buts get cut right back down with a power slam. Cover.

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Whiplash pulls Flynn up by his hair, but Flynn starts right where he left off. Driving more punches into the gut of Whiplash, Flynn again appears to be distancing himself but J.T. is quick with an eye-gouge that stops the momentum. Whiplash throws Flynn towards the ropes, but Flynn holds on. J.T. comes running but Flynn ducks and back body drops Whiplash to the outside of the ring through the table!

Flynn takes a moment to catch his breath, meanwhile Whiplash begins to stir. Crawling towards the ring, he reaches for a steel chair from under it. As he stands, Flynn grabs him by his hair and Whiplash turns around with ferocity and bends the chair over his skull. Flynn stumbles back as Whiplash slides into the ring with the chair and sets it up in the ring.

Pick Flynn off the mat, J.T. picks Flynn up into a full gorilla press over his head and begins walking towards the chair. Flynn begins to shuffle lose, landing on his feet behind Whiplash. As Whiplash turns around, he thrown into the air by Flynn and pancaked onto the chair.

Flynn folds up the chair and drapes it across Whiplash’s face and he climbs up to the middle turnbuckle. Leaping off, he lands with a senton bomb onto the chair, crushing Whiplash’s skull underneath. Once he’s done nursing his back, Flynn removes the chair to reveal a busted open Whiplash. (Really, we’re used to it by now.)

Flynn climbs to the top turnbuckle, motioning for Whiplash to get to his feet. As J.T. finally stands up, Flynn comes off the top with his Suicide Devil’s Plancha!

1!

2!

3!

* DING * DING * DING *

Jenny Jersey: Here is your winner… Jamie Flynn!

Linzi Martin: Wow. Whiplash is a tough bastard, but this might be what people look back to and say was the beginning of Flynn’s Era. Is it though? Who knows. I’ve been drinking so you shouldn’t listen to me.

*****Time To Step It Up Again*****

Bubba J stands prepared for his match, dressed in his bluejeans, t-shirt, and doing his 12 ounce arm curls repeatedly on the bench.

“The more and more I think about it, the pisseder and pisseder I get.”

A very beautiful brunette comes from the bathroom, dressed in a set of skimpy bras and panties, she giggles as she sits on his lap.

“What makes you so mad Bubba?”

He looks at her and swallows some beer.

“That damnable Simon Kalis. I can’t stand his sorry black ass. I’m tired of him running away from our fight and he’s too much of a pussy to step up and us have this match.”

The woman leans over, kissing his ear(and wispering as well.

“Damn right, I’m gonna go and kick his ass!”

The woman slides off, sitting there as she looks at Bubba J storm out of the room, beer in hand. The scene changes out into the hallway where Gold is skipping along, bumping right into Bubba J. Gold looks up, gulping as Bubba J looks down into his very scared face.

“You’ll do!”

Bubba J growls as Gold whimpers and tries to run away. Bubba J begins to pound away on him.

“Tell me where I can find Simon!”

Gold whimpers again.

“Tell me and I’ll stop whoopin’ yer ars!”

He kicks Jeremy in the ass for good measure.

“Damn, nearly lost my foot up in there!”

Gold tries to run away from the irate redneck.

Gold: “He…. he… hes… in the office with Laaaaa…… rrry Goooooorddddon.”

Bubba J snickers.

“You lying faggot, Gordon ain’t around these parts anymore! Now, I’m gonna kick your ass for protectin’ his black ass and lyin’ to me!”

Bubba J shoves Gold into the bathroom, before pissing in the stall(while he holds Gold by the neck). Bubba J lifts him up in piledriver position.

“Swirly time you sorry piece of shit. Next time don’t lie to me!”

He shoves Gold’s head into the toilet and flushes. J walks out of the stall, finding Vincent Black there in the hallway(Gold is whimpering in the bathroom).

Vincent: “Swirly?”

Bubba J nods.

Vincent: “Hey, did you know Gordon showed up tonight?”

Bubba J looks a bit surprised.

Bubba J: “Really?…(he looks back towards the bathroom) Then the faggot wasn’t lying.”

He shrugs before yelling back at Gold.

“Tell Simon to quit running and I’m ready to kick his black ass into the longest hospital stay of his career.”

For answer Gold whimpers.

Bubba J: “Stop acting like this the first time you’ve ever had turds near yer mouth…”

Bubba J and Vincent walk off, Bubba J muttering while Vincent chuckles.

Bubba J: “Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks.”

*****Non Title Match*****
*****Legion versus Violet Harper*****

Jenny Jersey: The following match is a special non title grudge match!

The lights in the arena go to black and the heavy bass of ‘Inside’ by NiN kicks in over the sound system. Rising from a hole set in the middle of the stage is Legion, a backlight showing only his silhouette. The arena lights come back up and Legion is joined on stage by members of his congregation and they all make their way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: Coming to the ring first, he hails from parts unknown and weighs in at 260 pounds…..Legion!!!

The dark prophet of the Church of Misery is greeted by nothing but boos, although a handful of wanna be goths kids give him the silent treatment so he’s got that goin’ for him.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent…..

“Gasoline” by Audioslave hits the speakers and the crowd goes apeshit!

Jenny Jersey: She hails from Portsmouth, NH and weighs in at 139 pounds, she is the current REBEL Pro Aggression Champion…..Violet Harper!!!!

Linzi Martin: Why are you out here? I was doing fine by myself.

Batman: Management thinks there needs to be a dynamic you know. Bang! Pow! That sorta thing.
Violet slides into the ring, eyes Legion, smirks at him and unstraps the belt from around her waist. She hands the belt over to referee Alan Stone. Jenny quickly makes her way out of the ring and the referee calls for the bell!

Linzi Martin: Hmph. Well. Once again we had the odd assortment of misfits and freaks along with Legion.

Batman: I was thinkin’ of starting my own Church, for strictly tax purposes of course.

Linzi Martin: Uh yeah.

Legion and Harper circle each other. Legion lunges in and Harper sidesteps him landing a stiff side kick to the thigh of Legion. The big man again lunges for the smaller Harper and again takes another kick to the thigh that would make any MMA fighter envious. The freak know as ‘Piggy’ climbs up onto the ring apron and Harper spins around and drops him to the floor with a right hand! Legion takes advantage of this distraction to bury a knee into the back of Harper! Legion drops a big elbow across the back of the neck of Harper and then shoots her into the ropes. Harper ducks a clothesline and springboards off the middle rope and nails Legion with a crossbody! Legion catches her in midair and turns the move into a spinning side slam. Instead of going for a cover, Legion heads to the closest corner and pulls himself to the second turnbuckle. The big man takes flight with a splash but Harper rolls out of the way!

Batman: Big dudes should never takes to the air. It always ends badly.

Legion is scrambling back to his feet but Harper drops him with a shinning wizard! Harper goes for a cover but Legion shoves her off before the referee can even get into position. Harper rolls to the outside, stands up on the ring apron and waits as Legion pulls himself to his feet. Springboard seated senton from Harper! Instead of trying for a pin, Harper rains down right hands at the masked man until he shoves her off. Legion gets to his feet and takes a dropkick that send shim stumbling into the corner. Harper climbs up unto the second turnbuckle and prepares to start throwin’ punches again when she’s suddenly chuncked over the top rope by Legion! Harper lands hard on the outside and the dark prophet rolls to the floor.

Linzi Martin: The champ is out of her element on the floor! The more brutal this match becomes one would think legion would have the advantage!

Batman: You think she’s wearing any underwear?

Linzi Martin: You disgust me.

Harper is getting to her feet and eats a big boot from Legion! With Harper down, Legion turns his attention to hunting for plunder under the ring. He pulls out a ladder from under the ring and the crowd happily chants ‘We Want Ladders!’ Legion braces one end of the ladder on the ring apron and the other on the ring barricade. From nowhere Harper sails over the ladder, hooks the head of Legion and takes him to the floor with a tornado DDT! Harper wastes no time in asking for and receiving a chair from a ringside fan. Legion is getting back up and takes a chairshot across the back! The monster spins around and Harper lights him up with a sick chairshot to the head! Another! A third! Legion is on rubber legs as Harper tosses him the chair. Legion reflexively catches the chair and Harper dropkicks the chair back into his face!

Batman: Legion is getting beat like Rihanna on a date with Chris Brown!

Linzi Harper: The champ is showing just why she’s possibly the most dominant REBEL Aggression Champion ever!

Harper is trying to push Legion up onto the ladder but the big man drives an elbow to the back of her head. Legion shakes his head to clear the cobwebs and then grabs Harper and presses her above his head only to drop her throat first across the barricade! The referee is yelling for them to bring it back inside but he’s ignored as most REBEL referees are. Legion drags Harper off the floor only so that he can slam her hard back down onto the concrete! Legion picks up the dented chair, waits for Harper to pull herself up and cracks the chair across her back! Harper is quickly rolled onto the ladder by Legion and we see the freak Piggy suddenly crawl into the ring and climb to the top rope. When pigs fly! Piggy leaps off the top turnbuckle but Harper rolls off the ladder and Piggy smashes through it and crash lands on the floor!

Batman: And it’s free bacon for all!

Harper and Legion both roll into the ring as medics rush down to see if Piggy is even still alive. Harper takes a big right hand that stuns her and Legion shots her into the ropes. Side slam from Legion! Legion hooks the leg and gets a count of two from the referee. Legion reaches down to pull Harper up and she responds with a low blow! Legion drops to his knees as Harper rolls to the ring apron, gets up and starts to scale her way to the top turnbuckle. Legion is up and turns around in time to get hit with a moonsault from champ! Harper gets a two count before Legion shoves her off. Legion uses the ring ropes to pull himself up and Harper charges him. Legion quickly slaps a hand around the throat of Harper and takes her up for a chokeslam! Legion bounces Harper off the mat with a brutal chokeslam and she curls into the fetal position. Legion stands over her and reaches down to once again grab her. Harper springs into action, obviously playing possum, and locks Legion into a Omoplata crossface!

Batman: He’ll never tap.

Linzi Martin: I dunno the champ has it locked in tight!

Legion tries to pull both himself and Harper to the ropes but he can’t make it. Legion tapes out!

Batman: Ah shit!

Harper releases the hold and rolls out of the ring as the bell rings!

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match….Violet Harper!!!!!!

Linzi Martin: Harper suckered Legion right into that submission hold and not even he could withstand the punishment!

Batman: I wonder if she’ll let me take a victory shower with her?

Linzi Martin: Get the hell out of here Marvin, and sober up.

Marvin Humperdink, err we mean Batman, gets up and frowns as he leaves the ringside area to the once again solo Linzi Martin.

*****WAR*****

Lisa Seldon: I am declaring war!

PuppetLisa: She loves declaring war.

Lisa declares war and pounds on Jeremy’s desk, causing him to scatter pretty much everything he has on the desk. In turn Anna giggles and kicks her feet up through the wreckage while Lisa stomps around the room.

Simon Kalis: Declaring war on who?

Simon Kalis steps through the door and is secretly sad that he isn’t suddenly the centre of attention. All eyes are still on Lisa, who spins around slaps Jeremy on the head for no apparent reason.

Lisa Seldon: I’m declaring war on everyone! Everything! I’m declaring war on Hardcore Entertainment and Mikey Massacre and his stupid fucking mullet and anyone else who decides I don’t adequately represent their vision of Rebel Pro. And Anyone, literally anyone who puts me in a situation where I have to wear sunglasses indoors like some kind of ridiculous Lazarusesque douchebag.

Simon Kalis: And so, you’re going to..?

Anna thursts her hand in the air, desperate to answer.

Anna Mathews: Stab him in the heart with a pair of scissors!

Lisa Seldon: Yes!

Lisa claps her hands together, causing Jeremy to jump again.

Lisa Seldon: I like that idea. I like it! And you know what I like about it most? The part about stabbing him in the heart with a pair of scissors!

Jeremy Gold stammers, doing his best to speak without really being heard as Lisa snatches up such a weapon and twists them worryingly between her fingers.

Jeremy Gold: You… you can’t just go around stabbing our guys in the heart. This isn’t Victory.

Lisa Seldon: Bullshit Jeremy, I can stab anyone I want!

A point she punctuates by plunging the scissors into the desk, complete oblivious to Jeremy’s hand getting in the way. He suddenly seems very pale.

Lisa Seldon: You!

She spins around to Kalis, having decided on him as the brains of the operation. Jeremy meanwhile emits a very horrible sound above a frequency audible to human ears. Both Travolta and Anna seem to perk up.

Lisa Seldon: Find us two people, any two people you don’t like, and then say goodbye to them. Because we’re coming back next week and we’re not leaving witnesses.

Lisa then pushes past Kalis back into the hall, making sure to shove whoever else happens to be in her way onto the floor. Kalis himself watches her go and Anna, still sitting at the desk, hands Jeremy a phone. He in turn squeaks into the receiver.

Jeremy Gold: Ambulance please. Quickly.

A second later he finally passes out.

Simon Kalis: Who wants cake?

*****REBEL Pro Tag Team Championship Match*****
*****Case Filed Rockets versus Hardcore Entertainment©*****

“Troublesome 96″ hits up in the speakers as from the back, to a mix of more boos than cheers comes the team of Justin Case and Rocky Logan, along with their handler Hugh Aredone.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing the challengers…, at a total combined weight of four hundred and ninety pounds; “The Millennium Game” Justin Case and “Wreckless” Rocky Logan, along with their manager Hugh Aredone… I give you… Case! Filed! Rockets!

Case and Rocky stand in the ring, leaning over and talking to Hugh Aredone as they both glance from time to time over at Styles Clash.

“Reign of Terror” hits up and the crowd explodes, highly unusual for these men, but the violence they are bringing back has the crowd in a frenzy. Bubba J and Vincent Black step from the back, wearing their belts over their shoulders and Black has on his mask from the promos; they stare at the crowd before glowering at Case Filed Rockets.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing the Rebel Pro Tag Team Champions, I give you at a total combined weight of five hundred and ninety-one pounds, the team of Bubba J and Vincent Black; (crowd along with her) Hardcore! Entertainment!

Black and J nod as they walk down to the ring, still glowering at their opponents before stepping into the ring and handing their belts off to Jenny Jersey.

Ding Ding

Collar and elbow lockup, Black shoving Case backwards, but here comes in Bubba J nailing Case in the back of the legs with a lead pipe as the weapons are broken out early in this one. This is Rebel and there are no rules, you’d do well to remember that. Here comes Rocky Logan with a big boot, sending Bubba J down to the canvas. J rolls up to his feet, Rocky sends him over with a clothesline, but J pulls him out along with him. Case nails Black in the knee with an elbow before shooting up with a double fist to the chin rocking the big man. Case presses his advantage with a roundhouse punch, following it up with a stomp to the side of Black’s knee for good measure. Case grinds his knuckles into Black’s fractured orbital bones before ripping the mask away and kicking him right in the face. J looks up as Black is bleeding early in this match.

Linzi Martin: The fans already get satiated with fresh blood on the canvas.

J looks up, Rocky nailing him with a boot to the face sends him spinning to the announce table. J grabs the television set there and here comes Rocky. J nails him right in the face, shattering the glass of the set and knocking Rocky out cold.

Bubba J: “Dey do that in MMA boy?!”

He stomps down on the now broken nose of Rocky before pulling him up and piledriving him onto the TV and after grabbing a steel chair he rolls back into the ring. Case is pounding away on Vincent’s busted up face, never seeing J roll back into the ring. J swings the chair, nailing Case in the back of the skull and as he falls forward, Black smiles sending him on over with a belly to belly suplex. Black and J fist bump before double teaming Case in the ropes. Black points to the corner, J whips him there before Black whips J into the corner. With a head of steam J nails Case with a double fist smashing forearm type of body splash(it ain’t pretty and even harder to describe); however very effective. Case begins to fall out of the corner, right as Black comes sailing through the air with a running knee to the side of his face. J leans over, Rocky nailing Black from behind with the steel chair from moments earlier. J turns around, chair right to the face sends J into the corner. Boot choke from Rocky has J struggling for breath.

Linzi Martin: Rocky with a breath taking swagger. Haha, get it?

Rocky: “They didn’t teach this to me in MMA either!”

Rocky uses a bit of reach and effort to begin pounding J in the face as he chokes the life out of him with his boot. Meanwhile Vincent is struggling back up to his feet, shaking the cobwebs out of his skull as Case nails him with a shoulder block to his bad knee. Black falls down and Case is there with a ground and pound technique and raining down fists onto the hurt side of Vincent’s face. Again in the corner Bubba J is turning beet red from the choke and struggling to get some purchase. Rocky is continuing to pound away and there goes Bubba J falling limp in the corner. Rocky looks down, right into a double uppercut into his little rocks! Logan’s eyes roll up into his skull and he crumples down to the canvas, narrowly avoiding Case pounding the hell out of Vincent. Bubba J climbs to the second turnbuckle, coming down with a double foot stomp right onto Rocky’s rocks and tossing him out of the way as he goes after Case. Justin rolls over, dropping down and flipping J over onto his back with some really cool move that looked really nifty. Case immediately turns, locking J’s head into a sleeper, trying to wear one down and let Rocky take care of the other. He looks over his shoulder and Rocky is still unmoving, thanks to that double foot stomp. But now Vincent is starting to move, all be it very slowly, but the big sumbitch is moving. Black to one knee, blood pouring from his nose and a trickle from the corner of his eye. However J has the mask of Vincent, nailing Case in the face with it knocking Case out cold. J tosses the mask to Vincent, who puts it back on reluctantly then J holds Case from behind as Vincent goes to nail him with his mask covered face.

Linzi Martin: I’d love to drink Black’s bath water…… Wait did I just say that out loud?

Rocky nails J in the balls in return, causing J to drop Case and receive the full force of Black’s headbutt instead. J looks wobbly on his feet, but from which shot we aren’t sure, or it could be both shots. Either way Rocky shoves him aside and comes to meet Vincent head on. Black with another headbutt attempt, but Rocky with a double leg takedown has Vincent on his back. Meanwhile Case is rolling back up to his feet, dragging Bubba J along with him and pulling his face across the second rope, spllitting his forehead, cheek, and pretty much his entire face; Case ends it with a multiple face smash into the top turnbuckle. Case spins J around, nailing him in the ribs with punch after punch before delivering stiff knees into his kidneys and an European uppercut for good measure. Hugh slides a chair into the ring as Case lifts J up onto the top turnbuckle, driving him face first into the chair, but unable to make the cover. Case rolls over, looking at Rocky pounding Vincent. For his part though, Vincent is firing back with Rocky, the two trading pretty much equal blows, enter in Justin Case to uneven up the odds. Case with a kick to the side of Black’s gets him and Rocky full advantage for the first time in the match.skull

Linzi Martin: And now Case Filed Rockets showing their domination.

Rocky whips Vincent into the ropes and as he comes back, Logan lifts him up, sending him down to meet Case who nails him with the code breaker. Case covers for the pin.

One!

Two!

Bubba J stomps on the back of his Millennium head before using the momentum to launch himself at Logan. The two men hang on the ropes for a second before the momentum carries them on over to the outside; Logan taking the force of the impact on his back. Here comes Hugh though to get Case to cover Black again, who still appears to be out cold.

One!

Two!

Vincent kicks out, fairly easy after the rest, but Case is pressing the advantage, along with his fingers into vincent’s hurt face(the damn saddistic person that Case is).

Linzi Martin: He’s showing just how much he wants this.

J whips Rocky into the railing before lifting him up and dropping his throat across the top of the railing. Hugh is cheering Justin on and never sees J come up behind him. Bubba J spins him around, nailing him right in the gut then completing the Trailer Park Trash and shoving two double birds into Hugh’s face. J looks over at Taboo and Chad flipping them off as well

before hurriedly stomping on the rising Rocky. Case is in Vincent’s face, but Black pulls him on through, sending him out of the ring and into Bubba J who stumbles into Rocky, who in turn drops him throat first across the railing. Black smiles and shrugs and as Case and Logan get up he launches himself over the top rope, swinging the chair at Rocky while lashing out with his feet/knees at Case and connecting.

Linzi Martin: Black is a wrecking ball, god damn.

Black pulls Rocky up, pounding him up against the ringpost then nailing him with a steel chair, denting the weapon and smearing it with blood. Bubba J is pulling himself up, holding a beer bottle in his right hand and as Case rolls back up, J cracks him across the face, splitting his lip, busting his nose, and cutting several cuts into his face/cheek. Case stumbles back, but Bubba J has the intentions on carving him up like a Thanksgiving turkey as he jabs, dashes, and all other sorts of slashing motions at Case who back peddles steadily. Logan with a kick catches Vincent off guard making him stumble back. Logan, pouring blood, presses his advantage. Black with a right, but Logan ducks under lifting Black up and sending him neck/back of the skull first onto the ring steps with a German suplex. Logan rolls onto his side, breathing heavily and spitting blood away from his mouth. On the other side of the ring now Case trips J up, sending him face first onto the broken neck of the bottle, causing a few more cuts(as though you could see them from the crimson mask already).

Linzi Martin: “I’m not sure Bubba J has fully recovered from the match against Vic Wagner and here he is in another match extremely quickly.

Case pounds his bloody face into the concrete before folding him up and nailing a cradle piledriver onto the concrete floor. Case, being unusually very hardcore, starts wrapping the electrical cables around the throat and neck of Bubba J, who seems to be unconscious against the ring. Case is bent over securing the cables as on the other side of the ring Logan is dropping the steps repeatedly onto Black’s face, who’s mask is now red with his blood as well as there seems to be quite a bit of blood on the ring steps as well. Hugh is starting to stir, but feebly falls back onto the floor as Logan rolls Vincent back into the ring. Logan lifts Black up, whip into the ropes. Black comes back, running boot, but Logan dives forward hitting a spear onto Black sending him back down to the canvas. Meanwhile The Show and Taboo are watching the match and discussing both teams as though making notes and preparing for all four men. Logan makes another cover.

One!

Two!

Thr

Vincent gets a shoulder up.

Linzi Martin: So close, this could be a turning point folks.

Logan can’t believe it and pulls Vincent up, his anger getting to him, the inexperienced Rebel Pro rookie. He whips Vincent back into the corner, spitting on him for good measure and humiliation. However, this has the opposite effect as Vincent seems to be awakened now. Black comes out with both fists going, connecting with left after right and right after left until Rocky is in the other corner. Vincent is looking like Rocky beating the hell out of all of his opponents and is damned if he is going to take any more offense from Rocky Logan in this match. Black is pounding his fists, knees, and everything in his aresonal into Logan in the corner. Black lifts Rocky up to the top turnbuckle when ther e is a loud flash and scream from right beneath him as he nails a superplex onto Logan.

~Fecal Beagle Re-watch~

J lifts a pair of wire cutters up, snipping the cords right there at his hands and sticking them to Justin’s balls sending the current through his nuts as the flash is loud and bright. Case is flung back from the impact and up against the railing now, his hands holding himself in obvious pain, that is if he was awake.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, that’ll do it.

~End of Feagle Beagle Re-watch~
j rolls back into the ring, shaking now after the current ran through his body as well and as we look back down, there is a small bottle of water opened and dripping water out of its mouth(he used it to enhance the shock to Justin Case). J pulls Black off of Rocky, nodding that they need to finish this. Black whips Rocky into the ropes and here comes Bubba J with a hellacious clothesline(called My Fucking Face).

Linzi Martin: That must’ve hurt his fucking face. Hah! I’m brilliant!

Vincent looks over at Case, who isn’t moving, lifting Rocky up…, bringing him down to finish the Elitest Drop(upside down New Hope into Trailer Park Trash). Black turns to keep a watch on Chad Kurtis, Taboo, and Justin Case as Bubba J makes the cover.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winners of the match and STIIIIIIIILL Rebel Pro Tag Team Champions… Bubba J and Vincent Black… Hardcore Entertainment!

Vincent and Bubba J stand side by side, holding their belts up high as they stare at Taboo and Chad Kurtis, who are clapping up at them, but their main focus is on Justin Case and Rocky Logan. Justin and Rocky try to leave, but Taboo and Chad stand in the aisle blocking their exit and point to both Justin and to Rocky before pointing back to themselves indicating they still have to answer to them sooner rather than later as we fade to the REBEL Pro logo and out…

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Bobby Lee defeats Jimmy Henderson, following an invasion force of Gray Aliens from the Zeti Reticuli star cluster.
Virgil Keenan defeats Loren Chill, and thus Chill remains the CJ Champion. We guess.
Jaice Wilds defeats Mikey Massacre in a major upset, and Mikey bashes things and people.
Jamie Flynn defeats J.T. Whiplash and somewhere someone shit their pants. We imagine.
Violet Harper defeats Legion because staring at her ass, how can we be miserable?
Hardcore Entertainment defeats Case Filed Rockets, and Style Clash puts everyone on notice.

*****Special Delivery*****

Meanwhile, outside of whatever the fuck arena Rebel’s gonna demolish this week, a tall figure holding a package walks towards the entrance. Strange looking bastard though. But then again, how couldn’t you get crazy looks and double takes when you have robot octopus arms and a really tiny head. And having three voices is rather confusing, don’t you think?

Top: Why the hell are we doing this again?

Middle: Because it’s a dramatic entrance.

Bottom: An ish much better than jus blowing it up.

A guard stops…them? It?

Top: Special delivery for *papers russle* a Mister Rupert,

Middle: Gold,

Bottom: Oar Kalis.

Top: Courtesy of a Trixie Von Vixen. Professor of Time, Space, and Lunacy. Munich, Germany.

The protective neanderthal tilts his head as if trying to figure out exactly how it said all that without moving its lips. The cold button eyes staring back seem to suggest that something isn’t quite right. A minute passes. Then he opens the door.

Guard: Whatever.

And our figure skips inside, nearly losing its balance but never dropping the package.

*****The Aftermath Edition*****

We fade into the office of our illustriously bisexual cocaine addled General Manager himself, Jeremy Gold. He’s sitting on his desk, kicking his feet around.

Jeremy Gold: With Simon at home nursing his injuries, it leaves the job of running REBEL Pro up to ME!

Rupert The Kangaroo puts his piece of celery down, and gives Gold a dirty look and hisses.

Jeremy Gold: Right. Us! US!

Rupert returns to munching his celery stalk and nods. Gold scratches his chin.

Rupert The Kangaroo: *Makes whatever noises Kangaroo’s make. I really should google that at some point so there’s something else to put here.*

Gold lights up, his eyes widen.

Jeremy Gold: YES! You’re brilliant Rupert!

Gold points at the camera in the office.

Jeremy Gold: As of this moment, Bobby Lee’s Curtain Jerker Championship title is OFFICIALLY recognized by REBEL Pro! His reign from whence he won, will be thrown into the history books! Retroactive and shit!

Rupert The Kangaroo: *noises and stuff*

Jeremy Gold: Nah, he won’t be mad. I think?

We fade into a fancy intro video for Aggression, with some heavy metal playing over it as pyros explode all over the arena.

Linzi Martin: Hello ladies and gentlemen! I’m Linzi Martin!

Batman: And I’m dunanunanuna BATMAN!

Linzi Martin: Hey Marvin Humperdink. I take it the head offices haven’t found a permanent replacement for Mikey yet, huh?

Batman: It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.

*****REBEL Pro Curtain Jerker Championship Match*****
*****Loren N. Chill versus Bobby Lee©*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be the for the REBEL Pro Curtain Jerker Championship!

The crowd reacts variously, some cheer, some holler, some are just flat out confused.

Linzi Martin: And how do you win a title like that?

The guitar & drums of “I Hear Voices” by Uriah Heap sound off inside of the arena, as the music hits full stride, Bobby Lee emerge from the entranceway. He has on full riot gear and his Curtain Jerker Championship securely strapped around his head and several Nerf guns attached to his Kevlar vest.

Linzi Martin: Oh no! It’s Chattanooga all over again!

Linzi hides under the announcer table.

Batman: Just when you thought Bobby Lee couldn’t get any more odd, Loren N. Chill pushes the right button and sends Bobby Lee’s paranoia into overdrive.

As Bobby Lee makes his way to the ring, the camera pans to an audience member holding up a sign that says, “Give Peace A Chance”, with the Vulcan hand greeting drawn on.

Jenny Jersey: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 240 lbs., he hails from Miller’s Trailer Park — the Curtain Jerker Champion — Bobby Lee!!

Bobby Lee gets into the ring, back himself up into a corner and putting his full-body riot shield in front of him.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent…

Batman: Here we go.

The REBELTron goes to static, the lights begin to dissolve on and off repeatedly, as “Faaip de Oiad” by Tool begins to creep into the arena.

Batman: What the fuck is that noise!?

The entire arena has their hands over their ears, Bobby Lee has since dropped his riot shield and is now cowering behind the apron on the far side of the ring from the entrance way.

As the song comes to a close, the entire arena is engulfed in pitch black.

Then, “Let Me Prey” by Van Helsing’s Curse begins playing throughout as the arena is now engulfed in red overhead lights, the REBELTron now displays alien-like symbols and images. As the lights over the entranceway come on we can see what appears to be a dozen black-robed Yautjas (Predators, for those of you who never read the comics), some with masks, some without.

Linzi Martin: Oh my gosh! Bobby was right! The Reticuli are real!

Linzi climbs back under the table.

### CENTURIES HAD PASSED ###
### AND THE WORLD HAD CHANGED ###
### BUT IT KNEW THEY HAD NOT ###

### FIRST THEY WOULD TRY TO FIGHT ###

### THEN THEY WOULD TRY TO RUN ###

### AND THEN THEY WOULD PRAY ###

The maniacal laughter that was once Patient 4479 can be heard echoing through the arena.

### “LET US PRAY” ###

### NO! ###

### LET ME PREY ###

The Yautjas make their way down the aisle in pairs and begin to circle around the ring. Bobby Lee tries to scramble for a new place to hide but quickly retreats back into the ring, snatching up his riot shield and cautiously watching all sides of the ring.

Then, at the top of the entrance appears two more Yautja, one of which is completely decked out with battle-ready armor.

Batman: Wow, Loren N. Chill is really selling tonight.

The two Yautja, Loren & Dennis, make their way down to the ring. Dennis gets down on all fours next to the ring apron and Loren uses his back as a step up. Once on the apron, Loren steps into the ring and the camera focuses on Bobby Lee who has appeared to literally soil his pants.

The bell sounds.

* DING * * DING * * DING *

As Loren approaches Bobby Lee, Bobby tries to jet back out of the ring but sees the Yautja on the outside of the ring and turns around, running into a stiff arm clothesline. Loren pulls Bobby up by his and begins pounding away at his forehead with his fist, backing Bobby up into the corner before Irish whipping him across the ring with authority.

As the turnbuckle slams into Bobby’s chest, Bobby begins to stumble backward, walking right into a side Russian leg sweep.

Batman: Cover!

1!

2!

Just before the referee comes down for the three-count, Loren pulls Bobby’s head and shoulders off the mat to stop the count. With Bobby on the ground, Loren pulls off the Yautja masks — both of them — and tosses them out into the crowd.

Linzi Martin: Loren really is the Reticuli second in command!

Batman: *face palm* [pause] Loren Chill, in control here during the early goings of this match-up. The mind games before the match really taking their toll on Bobby Lee’s psyche.

Loren slides out of the ring and heads over to where Jenny Jersey is sitting, shoving her to the ground and grabbing the chair under her, folding it up and sliding back into the ring with it. Walking over to Bobby Lee, he pulls him to his feet and hangs him upside down in the tree of woe. Taking the chair he brought into the ring, he lays it against Bobby’s face and takes off for the opposite corner.

With a head of steam, Loren delivers a dropkick to the chair. The chair falls flat on the mat and Bobby’s head is busted wide open. Loren unhooks him from the tree of woe and just lets Bobby flop to the mat as well. Picking Bobby back up from the mat, he shoves him back into the corner before mounting the second turnbuckle. Loren then reaches into one of the pockets of his Yautja utility belt and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. Pounding his fists into Bobby’s head as the arena counts them off, as does Linzi Martin.

Linzi Martin: 1, 6, 4, 7, 2, 9, 3, 12, B, 10!

Batman: Close.

Loren, stepping aside to let Bobby stagger out of the corner, climbs to the third tier of the turnbuckle and turns around. Bobby still staggering, turns around and is on the receiving end of a flying head scissors that sends him skidding to the outside of the ring.

Batman: Bobby Lee better be careful on the outside of the ring with all of those “aliens”.

Loren slides under the bottom rope and quickly begins digging under the ring to find a kendo stick.

Batman: Wow, that was conveniently placed!

Bobby slowly gets to his feet just to be cracked in the skull with the kendo stick. Bobby back peddles to the ring steps, getting cracked in the head again, the kendo stick starting to split. Loren throws the stick down, grabs Bobby by his hair and slams Bobby’s face into the steps before throwing him back into the ring. Loren climbs up to the apron and waits.

Batman: Loren could be setting up for the J.O.Y!

Bobby, again, slow to his feet and as he turns around Loren slingshots onto the top rope and catches Bobby Lee with a 720 DDT onto the chair that still rests on the mat.

Batman: That move had to hurt Loren as much as it hurt Bobby as his hand is clutching underneath him at his back. Wait a minute!

The referee runs and slides across the mat and beings counting.

1!

2!

3!!

The referee quickly gets to his feet and calls for the bells as “I Hear Voices” by Uriah Heap plays throughout the arena.

Batman: What the fuck just happened here?

The REBELTron shows the reply as Loren comes off the top rope with the 720 DDT onto the chair, it shows him writhing in pain. It also shows, Loren with both shoulders on the mat with Bobby Lee’s arm still draped across Loren’s stomach.

Batman: Are you telling me…

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: BOBBY LEE!!

The referee helps Bobby Lee to his feet, holding his hand up in victory. The timekeeper brings the Curtain Jerker Championship and hands it into the ring. Bobby Lee seizes the belt and begins celebrating his conquering of the Reticuli. He goes from corner to corner, the referee following him as he celebrates. As Bobby comes down off the turnbuckle, the referee snatches the Curtain Jerker Championship title from Bobby Lee’s grasp.

Batman: This is not going to end well.

Bobby keeps telling the referee, “But I won!” and the referee keeps nodding his head but keeps walking towards Loren Chill who is now upright in the corner, still holding onto his back. The referee hands Loren the belt and then proceeds to push Bobby Lee away from Loren.

Batman: Bobby Lee is irate. Who would’ve thought that the Curtain Jerker Championship would EVER change hands, let alone in this fashion?

Bobby is in the aisle way now, pulling out his hair and screaming at the referee and the Reticuli still standing around the ring. Loren Chill holds the title up, looking at it with slight disgust before a smirk breaks from the corner of his mouth.

Batman: Oh, wait a minute… That sly fucking bastard!

Loren starts laughing to himself in the corner of the ring. Once Bobby Lee is out of sight, Loren exits the ring as “The Outsider [Apocalypse Mix]” by A Perfect Circle fills the arena, laughing, smiling and shaking his head all the way up the aisle.

Mikey Massacre: Folks, Loren N. Chill said this past week that all Bobby Lee needed to make it in this business was the right motivation — I think it’s safe to say, Bobby Lee now has the right motivation. Look out Rebel Pro!

Loren stands on top of the entrance ramp, holding the Curtain Jerker Championship high above his head as he disappears backstage.

*****Troublesome ‘11*****

” Troublesome ’96 ” by Tupac Shakur hits up on the P.A. and out steps REBEL PRO’s most talented trio. ” Case Filed Rockets ” make their way to the ring with eager intention. Once from within the ring, Case motions for a couple mics as the new ” Twin Towers of Professional Wrestling ” stand in the center of the ring. Their manager stands in the background. The music dies off.

Boos linger

” Wreckless ” Rocky Logan: Thank you for that warm welcome but You see, there are many reasons why we have asked for this time slot. So we can stand here all day and wait until you guys shut the hell up!! As the one and only was about to say, I know you all want to know why we are here. Its very simple really. After some deep soul searching, and some nice long walks on the beach. It finally hit us. WE R #1!

WRL pauses as more boos egnite

” TMG ” Justin Case proceeds to talk

“TMG” Justin Case: Thats right, Rock. And while we are offically the new number one contenders to the REBEL PRO Tag Team Championship Title belts, that only means that one team is in our talented way. There is only one team that now matters to us. As you could of guessed it, the team ” Hardcore Entertainment ” has now got our full attention. You see, they have what we want. They have what we need. They have what we can not do without. That is the tag team titles!

More boos

Rocky speaks

WRL: But you see, this is much more then just a couple of title belts. This is about the truth. And while we all need to find our own truths in our ways. There are a couple truths that we feel we need to bring to the fore front. Meaning that Hardcore Entertainment has got to face their own truth. In other words, Hardcore Entertainment has been coasting along all this time without having to face their fears. And in order to be the best. One must face his deepest fears. They have yet to even know their own fears. Until now….

” TMG ” proceeds

” TMG ” Justin Case: You see, until now Hardcore Entertainment thought they were on top of the world. But now, now its time for them to fall back down to earth! Its now time Hardcore Entertainment faces the truth. Its now time Bubba J and Vincent Black face their deepest fears!

What I mean is simple really. There are two very different, yet distant cousins, that are very dear to Black and Bubba. They need to be brought up. Because if not faced with and dealt with, these two factors can build up inside a person and cause serious, if not deadly, reactions. So without further adieu, I bring to you the two ” fear factors ” that Hardcore Entertainment will soon have to face. The first factor is Anger. The second factor is Forgiveness. These are the two ” fear factors ” that Vincent Black and Bubba J will soon have to deal with when its time to face the truth. And once the truth comes out, It will be those two ” Fear Factors ” that will present themselves in such ways that it will bring each man down to his knees!!

So we will end on this. Face your fears and face the truth but failure to egknowledge the truth will end in your bitter demise!

Justin Case U didnt know…..

WRL speaks

WRL: …..We R Simply Amazing!!

The three men then drop the mics as their theme music hits up and they exit the ring. And proceed into the backstage area, as we head to commercial break.

*****WHAT’S IN A FECAL BEAGLE?*****

The scene opens up to a tavern that looks similar to the Hardcore Drinking establishments we see plastered all over Rebel Pro these days. A man in blue-jeans and a plaid shirt approaches the bar, making his way past all kinds of hot chicks with only half their clothes on dancing with guys who are all buff and stuff. The man reaches the bar and begins waving down the bartender with his hand he says:

Man: Give me a

Fecal Beagle Sourmash!

The bartender turns around, the camera pans across the country where we see a fat, retired truck driver eating a can of corn. The next scene shows that same truck driver going to the restroom. When he flushes, the camera goes down the piping to what appears to be a plantation. A worker uses a net to remove the feces from the water and dumps it into a bin. The bin gets dumped into a pit where women walk around in a circle barefoot, smashing it down into liquid. The liquid is then pumped out into a keg and the keg is shipped out.

Returning to the bar, the bartender pulls the handle on the same keg and fills up a frosty mug with Fecal Beagle Sourmash! The patron takes a drink, smiles and looks into the camera.

Man: Now THAT tastes like shit!

Voice Over: Fecal Beagle Sourmash! Ask for it by name! — Now with every Fecal Beagle Sourmash you order, get a free beer coaster made of corrugated toilet paper that Loren N. Chill previously used to wipe his ass with!

*****Sexy Time Continues!*****

“Gasoline” by Audioslave hits the sound system as Violet Harper comes out from backstage to a roaring crowd, very much happy with their second-tier champion and what she had to do to keep her title. Violet is banged up quite a bit from last week’s match, but she still has her gorgeous smile and a smoking body. She makes it to the ring as “Gasoline” dies down, and Violet takes a mic offered up from Jenny Jersey.

VIOLET HARPER: WHAT’S UP WEST VIRGINIA?!

The crowd explodes again, and she’s filled with smiles and probably candy.

VIOLET HARPER: The better Virginia that’s for sure!

But probably not.

VIOLET HARPER: You know last week was probably one of the toughest matches of my short career and JT Whiplash took me to my limit and tested me in every way possible. He should get a boatload of credit for his efforts at Prove Your Worth!, which despite his loss I think he proved it a few times over don’t you folks?

The crowd cheers, a “WHIP-LASH” chant breaking out. Violet is still all smiles.

VIOLET HARPER: Moving along then! I need a new challenger! Now, I heard that Jaice Wilds thinks he’s just going to make himself the number one contender to my belt. Sure, Jaice, I suppose you could do that but it really falls on what Simon Kalis has in store for me. I’ve already beaten you before in singles competition; I defeated you, Case, and Legion in the TLC match. But, you want to come at me a third time, because you think it’s a charm? It’s only going to get you your third ass-kicking by me, Jaice. You got lucky at PYW when Panzadise interfered in your match and gave you the win against Lucious Starr. You got lucky you still have a career. Quite frankly I don’t think you’ve earned a shot at my belt!

LINZI MARTIN: She’s so right!

The crowd agrees.

VIOLET HARPER: But I’ll tell you what, Jaice. Your match is coming up next. I’m going to take a seat next to my hot friend Linzi Martin over there and keep a close eye on what you do inside this ring. If you can prove to me tonight that you have what it takes to be the number one contender to my Awesome Championship by beating Virgil Keenan decisively, then you’ll get your wish. Of course, this is all barring Simon Kalis’ approval. It’s his show, babe.

Violet hands the mic back over to Jenny Jersey, and climbs out of the ring with the Aggression Championship over her shoulder. She grabs a chair and sits down next to Linzi Martin, who’s just shocked as all hell that her sexy crush is so close to her. Jenny Jersey starts making the announcements for the next match.

*****Jaice Wilds versus Virgil Keenan*****

They immediately rush each other and clash in the middle of the ring. Virgil with a right, Jaice with a left. Virgil sends out an elbow that catches poor Wilds square in the chin, twisting his head around. Wilds stumbles back but lashes out with a stiff kick to the gut of Virgil Keenan. Wilds bounces off the ropes with a springboard back elbow, and catches Virgil square in the face. Virgil spins around and then keels forward, Wilds with a spinning DDT out of no where crushes Keenans face against the canvas. Jaice Wilds decides to go for a quick cover.

1!

Batman: Crikey this is exciting.

2!!

Violet Harper: I thought you were Batman not the Crocodile Hunter.

KICK OUT!

Linzi Martin: I thought all Australians said crikey.

Keenan kicks out at the two, and throws the much smaller Jaice Wilds off of him. Keenan back to his feet and grabs Jaice as Wilds gets to his, hammerlock DDT takes Jaice Wilds down and clean. Keenan back up, as Jaice wilds sits up and holds his head feeling groggy. Keenan with a lariat to the seated Wilds! The crowd cheers the fighters on, hoping for more violence and more blood we imagine.

Batman: Gee wilikers Violet, one of these guys could be your opponent in the very near future! How’s that make you feel?

Wilds spins around on his back, flipping himself back onto his feet and then with a jumping clothesline takes down Virgil.

Violet Harper: Sure, it doesn’t really matter to me either way sweety. I’ve proven to Jaice twice I can take him down.

Virgil rolls out of the ring and to the outside, and is a bit slow to get up. Jaice Wilds hops up onto the top rope and then springboards himself off with a spectacular cross body splash. Jaice Wilds unleashes a fury of lefts and rights on the downed Keenan before getting to his feet and climbing up onto the apron. He hops onto the ropes and goes for an asai moonsault… Virgil catches him! PILEDRIVER ONTO THE GROUND! The crowd loves it! Wilds holds his neck in pain, his feet kicking the ground.

Linzi Martin: Oh, Jaice might be hurt there.

Batman: So what, you don’t worry about Virgil Keenan?

Keenan lifts Wilds up to his feet by his neck, cracking his elbow down across the back of Jaice’s neck before whipping him shoulder first into the steel steps. Jaice hit’s the steel and flips over, landing hard on the other side.

Violet Harper: He’s certainly interesting but he’s got a lot to prove yet.

Linzi Martin: Jaice looks hurt.

Jaice crawls away, or tries to. Virgil comes up behind him and lifts off the top half of the steel steps and raises them over his head. He launches it down at Jaice but Jaice rolls out of the way right in time. Jaice leaps up to his feet, spinning neck breaker on Virgil! Both men are on the outside of the ring, breathing hard. Jaice is up first, and grabs Virgil and throws him into the ring. Jaice slides in but out of no where, Virgil grabs him and pins him with a school boy!

1!

2!!

THREE-KICK OUT! Jaice kicks out JUST before the 3!

Virgil uses the referees help to pull himself to his feet, and by help we mean he grabs onto the referee and uses him as leverage. Jaice rushes forward. A Superkick neck breaker! But Virgil throws the referee in and lets him take the full force of the move, knocking him down and out! Jaice looks worried as he checks up on the referee, but Virgil Keenan turns and stalks him.

Violet Harper: Well this looks fun.

Linzi Martin: Not as fun as being here with you sexy.

Violet Harper: Aw, you’re so sweet.

Batman: I… err… My batdick senses are tingling.

Linzi Martin: MARVIN!

Violet Harper: Hahaha.

Batman: Errr… Hmm.

As Jaice gets back up and turns around, he runs right into the Burning Hammer from Virgil Keenan! The crowd jumps to their feet, Virgil covers!

1!

2!!

3!!!!

Except Virgil was the one slapping the canvas with his free hand. He lets go of Jaice and begins slapping the referee around to get him awake. Jaice meanwhile rolls out of the ring and shoves that top half of the steel steps into the ring, quickly moving to get back into the ring. Virgil turns around and shakes his head, as if he’s going to be caught off guard by something like this. Jaice is still wobbly after the Burning Hammer too. Virgil grapples him, Tiger suplex into a pin!!!

…

…….

The referee is finally awake.

1!

2!!

KICK OUT! JAICE WILDS KICKS OUT!

Violet Harper: Well I’ll be!

Linzi Martin: With me?!

Violet Harper: Oh you’re a slick one.

Batman: *odd hand movements*

Virgil shakes his head as both men get to their feet. Jaice is still a bit wobbly. Virgil grapples him again but this time Jaice swings himself around, jumping Russian leg sweep onto the steel steps!!! Jaice quickly gets to the corner and heads to the top turnbuckle. AERIAL ACE!!! He covers Virgil!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Violet Harper: Well damn, lots of screw jobs going around these days huh? Poor Virgil.

Linzi Martin: Not enough if you ask me. Hehe.

Batman: I am NOT a virgin!

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… JAICE WILDS!!!

Jaice has his hand raised by the referee then looks over the top rope to yell out to Violet Harper. Jaice makes title motions with his hands over his waist.

Violet Harper: Oh look the little man wants things. What he should be doing is paying attention to the guy who should’ve won, behind him.

Violet points to Jaice, but actually to Virgin who stands much taller than Jaice. Virgil has the steel steps back in his hands and slams them down across the back of Jaice Wilds neck. Jaice flips over the top rope and onto the outside.

Linzi Martin: Isn’t Violet awesome? Always right about everything.

Violet Harper: We should do this again some other time.

Virgil hoists the steel steps up onto the top turnbuckle and climbs up to the middle ropes. Jaice Wilds turns himself over onto his back and looks up in shock. Violet stands up and nods, perhaps impressed, as Virgil chucks the heavy steel steps off the top rope and right onto Jaice Wilds. Virgil then looks at Violet and just nods, as Violet smiles and slaps the hands of fans as she makes her way backstage.

*****The Truth Shall Make You Bleed*****

An unmasked Taboo and “The Show” Chad Kurtis are backstage. They’re dressed in business casual clothing, since they aren’t wrestling tonight. Taboo looks into the camera while Kurtis stands behind him.

TABOO: Case, Logan… you know, Chad and I know, everyone in this arena tonight, everyone in the arena last week, and everyone watching on television knows you only won your match because the referee didn’t see my arm draped over Logan’s body. It was luck, pure and simple. Sure, up until the point, you two were going toe-to-toe with Style Clash, but the winner wasn’t determined by skill. No, no!

KURTIS: That’s right, Allen. Style Clash was robbed, but we’re not two to sit around and and bitch and moan about this decision or that. The ref easily could’ve seen Taboo first and the match would’ve turned out otherwise. All we can do is control the future and that’s what we’re here to do! Justin Case, Rocky Logan. We know you have your eyes set on Hardcore Entertainment, and you should! But when that dust has settled, Style Clash wants the Case Filed Rockets ONE MORE TIME! If you have the straps, then put up and put ‘em on the line. If you don’t have the straps, then Style Clash just wants an opportunity to show the world that we ARE the best tag team in this company and what happened last week was happenstance!

TABOO: What do you say, fellas? Speak it over with that fat fuck Hugh Aredone and get back to us.

*****The Reawakening*****

A video begins playing on the big screen inside the arena as we fade from view from Taboo and Kurtis. It shows a young lady and her mother shopping in an upscale mall, both seem quite unaware that there is a camera following them. For those familiar with the NAPW, you just might recognize these two as Taboo’s ex-wife and daughter. An unrecognizable yet still somewhat familiar voice begins to speak.

Voice: Taboo, I’m coming back. And I must thank you. You see, I walked away from this sport a few months ago because I just didn’t care anymore. I had lost the drive to keep going.

The two woman leave a clothing store each holding several shopping bags. Both still blissfully ignorant to the potential danger they’re in.

Voice: Seeing you again has re-awoken the demon inside me. Re-awoken the passion I once had for this game we play.

The two women are walking towards a small bistro inside the mall. They take there seats and each order’s a mineral water while they look over the menu.

Voice: Taboo, you and I are forever linked, our fates forever entwined. You were there at the beginnings of my journey. And I will be there to end yours.

The camera zooms in for a close up of the younger of the two women.

Voice: She is pretty isn’t she Taboo? The best qualities from mother and father combined with youthful innocence. One day she may even forgive you for choosing this sport over her. But she will never forgive you for bringing me into her life.

The camera starts moving towards her as it cuts to black.

*****What Makes a REBEL?*****

“All Right Now” by Free cues up and Mikey Massacre emerges from the curtain. The fans greet him with mostly boos. He tells them to relax, that he will explain everything, but they aren’t listening. He rolls his eyes at them and rolls into the ring, a microphone in his hand. His music cuts.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Alright, alright, everyone. Relax. I think I’ve earned the right to explain myself, haven’t I?

Boos.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Over three years in this company and… this is how I am treated?

Boos.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Well, maybe after I explain myself, you’ll see things from my perspective. Look, I know I went a little overboard. I hear Lisa’s eye is hurt real bad… and that’s unfortunate. It’s not really her fault. She was the recipient of a lot of anger. Anger that was somewhat misplaced. So, for that, I apologize.

Less boos, but now with a LISA SELDON chant.

MIKEY MASSACRE: But for the past year, I’ve been sitting at that announce table, having to watch the promotion I created, the promotion that was built with my sweat, my blood and with years off of my life…

He looks around.

MIKEY MASSACRE: It has turned to shit!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Bubba and Vinny, they make their points about REBEL Pro having gone soft, and I appreciate what they have to say. In some ways, they are right. But it is much more than that. Those two hillbillies aren’t smart enough to know what REBEL really needs. Where things really went wrong. REBEL Pro… has sold out. And you know what? I’m not the only one who thinks so!

The fans boo more. They love the REBEL Pro of today.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And you know what? Look around. If the person next to you is booing me, and doesn’t believe that Simon Kalis has ruined this promotion, that the days of Rob Martinez and Gordon were the good old days, the golden age… then that person next to you has sold out too.

The fans boo him as LISA SELDON and BUBBA VINNY BUBBA VINNY chants erupt.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh, come on, give me five minutes of your time!

Nope.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Dammit! I’m Mikey FUCKING Massacre! I built this fucking place! I gave you shelter! I gave all of you a place to call home because you were unsatisfied in your everyday nine-to-five lives! Dammit, you selfish pricks… I gave you all a REASON to LIVE!

MIKEY MASSACRE: You treat me like this? FUCK YOU! I’M OUT!

The fans continue to boo as some trash is thrown in the ring. Mikey looks out, incredibly angry, in disbelief that he is being treated like this. He climbs up the turnbuckle and gives the dual salute before jumping off and leaving the ring. He gives the finger to the more vocal of his detractors as he leaves to “Heavy Metal Machine” by Smashing Pumpkins

*****Grudge Match****
*****Vicious Vic Wagner(PWA) versus Bubba J(REBEL)*****

DING DING DING

Batman: There’s the bell, and we are underway…

Linzi Martin: This might be a week late, but it’s better late than never!

Bubba J and Vic Wagner immediately walk up to each other in the center of the ring, getting nose to nose with smack-talk as referee Jimmy Johnson tries to step in between them. Wagner shoves away the referee as Bubba J then tosses the referee over the top rope as the two men start tagging each other with lefts and rights as the crowd is on their feet.

Batman: They’re not wasting any time here early on!

Linzi Martin: Let’s get it on, boys!

As the fans are on their feet, Bubba J starts to get the upper hand with some hard punches to the face of Vic Wagner as he whips Wagner into the ropes, only for Wagner to reverse it and as Wagner tries to telegraph it into a back-drop, Bubba J counters with a hard kick to the face.

Batman: We’re not going to see a whole lot of catch-as-catch can wrestling here… this is going to be an all-out fight!

Linzi Martin: If you’re a wrestling purist, this won’t be your type of match!

Bubba J then catches Wagner with a DDT following the kick to the face. Bubba J then digs into his jeans pocket and pulls out a fork. He then proceeds to dig it into the forehead of Vic Wagner, carving a double “R” into his forehead.

Batman: WHOA! Bubba J not wasting ANY time breaking out the weaponry here…

Linzi Martin: This could get really ugly, really quick.

Bubba J then finishes carving into the now bloody forehead of Vic Wagner. He then turns his back on Wagner to play to the fans, only to get met by a Roaring Elbow Smash from Wagner, right to Bubba J’s face. A stunned Bubba J then gets caught with a textbook Butterfly Suplex by Wagner before Wagner goes to apply a Rear Naked Choke. Bubba J, upon being locked in the submission hold, gets a crazed look in his eyes as he slowly gets to his feet with Vic Wagner in a piggy-back position as Bubba J rams Wagner back-first into the turnbuckles.

Batman: I know Bubba J’s not big on “wrestling”, per se… but one has to be impressed with the counter he just came up with to avoid the submission there!

Linzi Martin: Even with that counter, he’s still having to catch his breath.

As Bubba J drops to one knee to catch his breath for a moment, Vic Wagner rolls down to the arena floor, clutching at his back. Bubba J finally rolls to the outside and reaches under the ring to pull out a pair of brass knuckles with thumb-tacks on the left hand and broken glass on the right hand as he holds them up in the air for a moment, before charging Vic with a Lou Thesz Press, tagging him with lefts and rights, leaving Wagner a bloody mess.

Batman: DAMN! Wagner is going to be feeling THOSE punches in the morning…

Linzi Martin: That’s just sadistic right there!

Bubba J then jumps off of Wagner and spits on him as he reaches under the ring again, looking for something as he finally pulls out a barbed-wire-wrapped hangman’s noose. He then proceeds to wrap it around Wagner’s neck as Bubba J gets back in the ring with Wagner still on the outside as he starts to pulls back on the rope and attempt to hang Wagner as he laughs sadistically at Wagner bleeding around the neck and flailing his arms to try and avoid being hung.

Batman: Now that gives new meaning to the expression “hanging someone out to dry”…

Linzi Martin: Or to bleed in the case of Vic Wagner.

As Bubba J releases the noose, a few fans chant “WE WANT BLOOD! WE WANT BLOOD!” as Bubba J shouts back “Well, you’re gittin’ it!”

Batman: And a few rocket scientists in the crowd chanting for blood…

Linzi Martin: I think the results of their IQ test probably came back negative.

As Bubba J plays to the fans, it gives time for Vic Wagner to get to one knee on the outside. Bubba J then goes outside and charges Wagner, but gets caught with a drop-toe hold into the near-by time-keeper’s chair, busting open Bubba J in the process.

Batman: Well, that certainly back-fired for Bubba J!

Linzi Martin: And now… Vic Wagner goes on the offensive!

Wagner then picks up Bubba J for some Trapping Headbutts to open his wound even further, and after a series of those, he does an over-head belly-to-belly suplex to Bubba J. An infuriated Wagner then removes the protective mats from ring-side and picks up Bubba J for a Cradle Piledriver, drilling him head-first into the concrete as the fans collective gasp in horror.

Batman: Vic Wagner is not just out to win this match, he’s out to cripple Bubba J!

Linzi Martin: Thank you, Captain Obvious!

Wagner then picks up a practically dead-weight Bubba J and pushes him back into the ring as he goes for a pin-fall as referee Jimmy Johnson goes to make the count.

Batman: Here’s the first pin-fall attempt of the match…

One…

Two…

Linzi Martin: Bubba J manages to kick out at two and a half!

Wagner then proceeds to stomp on Bubba J before he picks him up from behind and crosses his arms for a Straight Jacket Suplex, which he delivers to perfection as he holds onto the arms for another pinning predicament.

Batman: Once again, Wagner tries to go for the pin….

One…

Two…

Linzi Martin: No! STILL not enough to keep Bubba J down!

Wagner then drags a nearly lifeless Bubba J to the center of the ring and motions “It’s Over!” as he goes to climb the top rope, but on his way up to the top rope, Bubba J wobbily gets to his feet and desperately falls back into the ropes, crotching Wagner as Bubba J goes up top and hits a Top Rope Superplex as both men are now down for the ten count.

Batman: Both men are now down and referee Jimmy Johnson is administering his ten count!

One!

Two!

Three!

Linzi Martin: Neither man is stirring as of yet…

Four!

Five!

Batman: It looks like Bubba J is starting to stir!

Six!

Linzi Martin: Still no signs of life from Wagner…

Seven!

Batman: Bubba J gets back to his feet and manages to picks up Vic Wagner as this match continues!

Bubba J then delivers a short-arm clothesline to Wagner, turning him inside out as Bubba J then goes back to the outside, searching under the ring again.

Linzi Martin: What could he be looking for NOW?

Bubba J then starts to roll whiskey and beer bottles inside the confides of the ring as the fans buzz in anticipation of what might be coming.

Batman: This could be interesting…

Bubba J then picks Wagner back up, whipping him into the ropes, and delivering a nasty spine-buster right onto the beer and whiskey bottles as the crowd explodes into a “RE-BEL PRO! RE-BEL PRO!” chant.

Linzi Martin: DEAR GOD! That was BRUTAL!

As Bubba J gets back to his feet, he then once again goes back under the ring briefly to pull out some lighter fluid, a lighter, and a pack of cigarettes.

Batman: I’m not sure I want to know what Bubba J is about to do right now!

Bubba J then pours the lighter fluid down the front of a barely conscious Vic Wagner’s trunks. He then lights up his lighter and proceeds to light the genitals of Vic Wagner on fire as Bubba J laughs sadistically and proceeds to smoke a cigarette as referee Jimmy Johnson quickly grabs a bottle of water and douses out the flames, leaving Wagner holding his groin area in a world of hurt.

Linzi Martin: HOLY SHIT! I can’t believe Bubba J just did that!

Batman: And to top it all off… the guy is smoking a cigarette watching Vic Wagner’s balls being “roasted”!

Bubba J then finishes smoking his cigarette as Wagner keeps holding his genitals in pain. Finally, Bubba J ambles back over toward Wagner, but is met with a desperation eye rake as Wagner struggles to his feet, wincing in pain. Wagner then levels Bubba J with a discus clothesline as Wagner continues to clutch his nether-regions in pain. When Bubba J gets back to his feet, Wagner catches him with a chop block and proceeds to kick the crap out of Bubba J’s left knee. A furious Wagner then drags the legs of Bubba J into the ring-post as he then goes to the outside of the ring, hooking on a ring-post figure four leg-lock on Bubba J as he holds on to it as long as possible before finally releasing the hold.

Linzi Martin: It looks like even with his man-hood burnt, Vic Wagner has fought back and now has Bubba J reeling in pain!

Wagner then drags a couple of chairs into ring-side as he threads one chair around Bubba J’s left knee and then proceeds to smash Bubba J’s knee with the other chair three times before throwing the chair down in disgust on Bubba J’s knee. Wagner then proceeds to lock a clearly injured Bubba J in an elevated single leg crab as Bubba J screams out in pain.

Batman: Wagner has just zeroed in on that injured left knee and seems to be hell-bent on CRIPPLING Bubba J tonight!

Linzi Martin: Bubba J’s in a BAD, BAD way right now…

Bubba J starts trying to fight the hold as he desperately moves toward the ropes, fighting, scratching, and clawing for them with every last ounce of strength left in him as he finally reaches the ropes. Wagner then drags an almost unconscious Bubba J to the center of the ring and once again tries to go for a top rope move. As he balances himself, he goes for a Top Rope Guillotine Legdrop, but there is no water in the pool as Bubba J rolls out of the way at the last possible second.

Batman: Wagner missed it! He missed the leg-drop!

Linzi Martin: And now Bubba J has a new lease on life… but is that leg too damaged for him to capitalize?

Bubba J struggles to his feet and manages to pick up Vic Wagner and drop him with a Front Suplex onto one of the chairs left in the ring. This allows Bubba J to go back to the outside of the ring and pull a few more toys, of sorts, out from under the ring. This time, he pulls out a glass bottle, barbed-wire, and light-tube covered table and what appears to be a purple double-ended dildo wrapped in barbed wire.

Batman: I believe that purple double-ended dildo wrapped in barbed-wire is a tribute to Krusty Kid Paul!

Linzi Martin: That’s MY dild-errrm… never mind…

Bubba J then limps over toward Wagner and starts scraping his mouth out with that barbed-wire wrapped double-ended dildo as Wagner screams out in pain. Bubba J then tosses the dildo in the direction of Batman and begins to set up the specialty table inside the ring. But Bubba J wags his finger to indicate that he’s not done as he then pulls out a 15-foot ladder and sets it up inside the ring as he slowly starts to climb up the ladder. But Wagner is also climbing the ladder as both men start tagging each other with elbow strikes on the the ladder with the crowd cheering every time Bubba J hits Wagner, and booing when Wagner hits Bubba J. Eventually, Bubba J gets the upper hand, holds Wagner in position for a Fallaway Slam, but falls forward with a big body splash through the table as both men are a bloody mess and the fans are chanting. “HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!”

Batman: HOLY SHIT IS RIGHT! This looks like a car wreck…

Linzi Martin: When you put two guys who hate each other in a ring with a ladder and a glass and barbed-wire covered table… the results will be MESSY, BABY!

Bubba J then crawls to his hands and knees, shaking his head causing blood to fly from his various facial lacerations and he starts to cough up blood. But eventually, Bubba J gets back up to his feet and reaches under the ring one last time to pull out a set of thumb-tack covered football shoulder pads.

Batman: I’m not sure I want to know what is about to go down here…

Bubba J straps on the shoulder pads, weakly picks up Wagner, and delivers a Trailer Park Trash (Stunner) onto the shoulder pads as Wagner goes down in a bloody heap, but Bubba J falls on his back too in exhaustion.

Linzi Martin: Trailer Park Trash! But Bubba J is down as well!

Batman: COVER HIM, BUBBA! COVER HIM NOW!

Bubba J weakly manages to cover Vic Wagner as referee Jimmy Johnson makes the count.

Linzi Martin: Here’s the cover…

One…

Two…

Three…

Batman: He got hi-

Linzi Martin: NO! WAGNER BARELY GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

Bubba breathes heavily, looking over at Wagner in utter disbelief as he pulls himself to his feet. Vic gets to his feet too after a short while. Bubba goes back on the attack, but Vic moves himself out of the way and it sends Bubba right into the corner turnbuckle. Vic grabs Bubba from behind, smashing his head repeatedly against the turnbuckle before taking him up top.

Batman: Bang! Pow! KABLAM It looks like Vic might be taking Bubba up for that Gallows Humour thing he does.

Linzi Martin: Don’t ever make sound effects again, please.

Vic seems to be setting Bubba up but Bubba cracks Vic across the face with a stiff right. Two middle fingers for his trouble! Bubba throws himself off the middle turnbuckle, but as he goes down he grabs Vic by the neck! TRAILER PARK TRASH OFF THE MIDDLE ROPES! Vic bounces up, then hit’s the canvas. Bubba throws himself over Vic one more time.

1!

2!!

3!!!

Linzi Martin: Oh, shit.

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… BUBBA J!

Bubba has no time to celebrate at all, as out from the back comes Legion! Mammon and Piggy are with him, and they don’t look like they’re coming out to congratulate Bubba either.

Batman: By Zeus! This looks like trouble, Linzi!

Linzi Martin: No shit. And, what the fuck is in Legions hand?! Is that a gas canister?!

Legion slides into the ring, Mammon and Piggy with him as Wagner takes this opportune moment to get out of the ring. It took everything out of Bubba to beat Wagner, and it doesn’t help that Piggy wraps a thick chain around Bubbas neck and hoists him up to his knees. Mammon stomps down onto Bubba’s chest and legs as Legion begins pouring gasoline all over Bubba J.

Batman: Gee wilikers Bubba is about to get BBQ’d.

Legion strikes a match as Mammon and Piggy back up, Bubba keels forward choking. But!

Linzi Martin: It’s Vincent Black! Vincent Black to the rescue!!

Vincent comes running from the back and grabs the two ends of the chains and pulls Bubba out of the ring by his noose. He takes the chains off of Bubba and helps him up. Legion shakes his head and scoffs at this as Bubba is helped backstage.

Batman: And Vinny with the rescue!

Linzi Martin: I said that already.

Batman: But I’m Batman.

Linzi Martin: No, you’re not. But we’re out of time folks. God damn if Legion isn’t one scary looking guy. Though… Depending how he looks under that mask, I could see myself as his personal breeder. If you get my meaning.

Batman: Oh my.

Linzi Martin: For uhm, Marvin Humperdink!

Batman: BATMAN!

Linzi Martin: I’m Linzi Martin! See you next week!

We fade out to one last shot of Legion, Piggy and Mammon in the ring as Legion points directly to Bubba J.

*****Electric Bugaloo!*****

Hey, remember that strange thingamajig with that uber sleek package? Turns out it invited itself into the only office you actually have in this bitch which at this moment, seems to be empty. You would’ve totally figured that out if you people actually watch the skits. Duh. After nearly tripping over themselves, they finally notice the cameradouche that’s been following the entire time. The robotic arms shed the trenchcoat.

PuppetLisa: Told you this place was a dump.

Sparkle: Needs a good scrubbing.

Anna Mathews: Ai kinda like it.

If either of the other two actually had movable features, they be making the “WTF?” face. Regardless, the Seldontastic Doppelganger starts to measure the room while mumbling something about “stupid RealLisa” and “selling out as lapdogs”. The Totally Real Title retracts her claws and joins in. Anna pulls out three cakes from the box before sitting them down gingerly on the desks. Triple chocolate, red velvet, and pineapple upside down. Yum.

Anna Mathews: We’re savin ReelLisa’s lyef bi mesuring everything so’s she doesn’t stumble on anny fing.

PuppetLisa: Like you’d ever do that for me.

The human sits on a certain boss-as- leather overlord chair and twirls.

Anna Mathews: Nao dat’s nawt tru. I’d do it in a heartbeat. But Lisa needs the help after the stoopid old Rebel shmucks got 2 her. Dunno wat teh deal is anyhow. She’s their champ!

Sparkle: Perhaps she doesn’t bleed enough for certification.

Her head instashakes at the notion.

Anna Mathews: She could cover hurrself with pigs und they still won’t be happy.

The Puppet withdraws her measuring tape.

PuppetLisa: Twenty smurfs by fifty smurfs. And you don’t have to lie. We know the real reason why you’re here.

Sparkle: You want to nurse your Simon back to health.

The twirling stops as the “not impressed” face starts.

Anna Mathews: Ish not true.

Her sidekicks, knowing better, snicker. They also sing a little song. You know the type. Anna and Simon in a tree! – - – -I-N…is that a brick?

PuppetLisa: OW! Bitch.

Fast cut to the Queen of the Dodos and her mighty brickzooka. She smirks.

Anna Mathews: Joo deserved it.

PuppetLisa: She was singing it too!

Brick to the faceplate.

Sparkle: Ouch! So was he!

The hunter’s head whips towards the cameraman. He innocence. Boom! Brick to the balls. The scene slowly…moves…down with a whimper.

Anna Mathews: Gawd. They don’t make cameramen lyke they used ta.

With that, we fade to the REBEL Pro logo.

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Bobby Lee defeats Loren N. Chill, thus making Chill the 2^nd Curtain Jerker Champ in history.
Jaice Wilds defeats Virgil Keenan, and both men find themselves with Sexy Time Blues
Bubba J defeats Vicious Vic Wagner in the match of the eon, because fuck Phoenix that’s why.

*****Aliens, Russia & The FDA*****

“I know their base of operation is around…”

He screams as he looks at a 50 gallon drum marked “Popcorn Butter” Running away, he trips and a bag of kernels falls on him, causing him to scream in even more pain and fear.

“Please no Mr. Doofler Zenaboli… I’m only doing as ordered by the voices in my head.”

He begins to whimper as he notices his aluminium helmet laying ten feet from him.

“Please….”

He screams even louder, his hands flying up to his head.

“I just want… I just want…”

Something causes the barrel to tip over, dousing him in popcorn butter and his screams die away into whimpers.

“I’ve lost any of my strength now, but I vow revenge against the Zeti Reticuli! I will take you down with the plans that the Russian Government are using to destroy the Food and Health Administration!”

A chittering laughing noise is heard as another bag of kernels are dumped onto our hapless Curtain Jerker Champion. But that isn’t all, just as Bobby Lee starts to whimper, a box of popcorn salt and more butter drench him.

We fade to the arena, the lights dim and the REBELTron lights up…

*****Prove. Your. Worth.*****

The dust blows, the wind whistles the silent song of peace. His foot digs deep into the sand as he takes a step forward. He taps his sword against his shield, his eyes shining out in the midst of his dusty and dirty helmet. His opponent walks forward, slowly and cautiously with nothing more than a spear in his hand, and a dented helmet protecting his skull.

The dust blows, the wind whistles the silent song of peace.

The crowds are brimming in the colliseum. Screaming, chanting. Drinking, fucking. Both men look around, all we hear is the silence. The call is heard.

Voiceover: Since the dawn of time, mankind has done battle.

The men form up, the gates open and the lions are released. The first drops to his knee, his shield up and his sword ready. The blade glistens in the sunlight, the sand whirling behind each step of the approaching lions. The second widens his stance, his back to the first. His spear raised high, his eyes locked. Predator to predator.

Voiceover: We had to fight back the world around us. The beasts that came for our blood.

The second launches his spear, as the first lion leaps forward. The lions mane blows back in the wind, the crowd is begging for blood, the aristocrats are sipping their wine and rubbing their fat bellies.

Voiceover: We had to fight for our very right to live on this Earth.

The spear connects, quickly the first man pulls himself to his feet as the other lion launches himself towards him. He raises his shield, sliding back on the heels of his feet as he falls back. The lion hits his shield, now its weight crushing him as he continues his slide through the sand. But his sword… His sword is now wedged deeply into the lions chest.

Voiceover: We fought for dominance. We fought for survival.

Everything stops. The first man rips his sword out of the lion, who labours for his last breathes. The second rips his spear out, and now they turn to each other. A single droplet of rain hit’s the sand. “To Glory” by Two Steps From Hell kicks in over the background.

Voiceover: And as with all things, our battles evolved. It wasn’t just a matter of dominance, or survival anymore.

The men turn their attention to the ruling class who sit high above the crowds, overlooking the pit.

Voiceover: We were Pioneers with a new vision for the entire planet. Our vision.

A single man, his body wrapped in loose white sheets arched over one shoulder stands to his feet. The crowd is clamouring for more blood. More violence. The aristocrat looks towards the skies, his arms stretched out as he speaks- but we do not hear him.

The rain begins a full heavy down pour, washing the blood into the sand.

Voiceover: We fought, we struggled and carved out our place. No surrender, only Victory.

The aristocrat salutes forward, and the two warriors begin circling each other. The crowd is in the throws of passion, some even throwing their clothes off to feel the rain against their skin. The second readies his spear, the first readies his sword and shield.

Voiceover: We were, and are, constantly discovering new things about our world and ourselves. It is the battle, the war, which has driven our advancement through time above all others. With Blazenwings, we soared to new heights with the trail of fire in our wake.

They engage, the loud clash of the spear attempting to pierce the shield resonates with the crowd. The spearman thrusts, thrusts, pushing the swordsman back. The swordsman trips over the carcass of one of the lions, on his back now. The spearman is ferocious, but unfocused as he lays a barrage of attacks on the backtracking swordsman.

Voiceover: But… When all else fails. When the Pioneers fall. When there is no Victory. When the Blazenwings are doused unto ashes and our backs are against the wall…

The swordsman rolls, jumping to his feet. The spearman strikes, piercing him on the right side and pushing the swordsman against the wall. The shield drops. He looks down. The spearman pulls it out and spins, raising his arms to the crowd as the swordsman slides down, his back against the wall, clutching his wound.

Voiceover: It takes one special kind of warrior. Someone who will never give up. Someone who will never accept fate, but who forges their own destiny.

There are brilliant flashes now. Quickly, as the swordsman gets to his feet, his hands grabbing the bloodied sands into his palm. Flash.

Bubba J and Vincent Black raising their Tag Team titles, Seldon shrugging as she walks off and Emily Corlen decimated in the ring.

Voiceover: They who dare to do the undoable.

The swordsman breathes deeply, flash.

We see a woman in the crowd from the colliseum, a copperhead snake coiled around her before we see a flash of J.T. Whiplash making his triumphant return as he stands over Lucious Starr and Gabe Shelley.

Voiceover: They who don’t know when it’s time to quit and give up.

The swordsman closes his eyes, wiping the blood from his side over his face as he throws his helmet off.

Flash. Gabe Shelley taps his knee, and looks up. Alexia can be seen shrouded, a smirking JC Shelley close behind.

Voiceover: Those who don’t let the pain get in the way of their battles.

The swordsman stumbles forward, piercing his sword into the ground but then lifting his arms into the air. The crowds cheer, screaming for more.

Flash. We see “Wreckless” Rocky Logan, with “The Millennium Game” Justin Case back to back, arms crossed and smirking as Hugh Aredone stands in front of them with a cocky smile.

Voiceover: Those who can do it, and make it look good.

The swordsman grabs his shield and hoists it up, even amidst his pain he has the strength. The sword is back in his hand now. The crowd is almost in a frenzy, following his every movement.

Flash. We see Legion, surrounded by his congregation.

Voiceover: They who are the true leaders of this world, whom men and women flock to for strength and leadership.

The swordsman begins running forward, putting his shield to a slant as he hit’s the spearman in the back, sliding over his back using his shield before flipping over in front of him and slashing him across the chest with his sword. The blood tears through the air, hitting his face.

Flash. Violet Harper. Bloodied. Battered, but standing with the Aggression title.

Voiceover: They who even at their greatest moment of peril and pain, rise above to conquer their doubters.

The swordsman unleashes a flurry of strikes, the spearman has no idea how to react as his flesh is ripped off his body and he stumbles back, hitting the ground.

Flash. Taboo and Chad Kurtis. The images like clouds of their history and dominance rise above them as

we see them, their hands raised over a destroyed ring.

Voiceover: Those who just when you thought they were gone… Get pulled, right back in.

The swordsman lifts the spearman up, kicking his helmet off and grabbing his hair. He puts his sword to the spearmen’s neck. The spearman is already bleeding profusely, he is finished. But the swordsman looks around, listening to what the people want. They want blood.

Flash. We see Lisa Seldon, her head lowered as the backdrop shows her intense victories in the Kingdom of Death. Her obliteration of Justin Case. Of The Phoenix. Of the entire WORLD itself.

Voiceover: Most of all, they who no matter the odds… Win.

The swordsman slices the spearmans throat, his head hanging off his shoulders as the fountain of blood gushes skyward. The swordsman raises his arm, soaking in the moment.

Voiceover: These, men and women. Are known only by one name: REBEL!

Flash. Lisa Seldon again, looking up, a tilt of her head, a wink to the camera, and she raises the AoWF World title in one hand, and the REBEL Pro World title in the other.

Flash. The ring in the arena lights up in crimson red.

Voiceover: This, is their pit. The canvas, is their sand.

The music comes to its climax.

Voiceover: This… Is where you can PROVE! YOUR! WORTH!

Pyros explode all across the arena, whistling down from the rafters and popping off across the entrance ramp, stage and around the ring. The crowd is going nuts!

Voiceover: In association with The Alliance of Wrestling Federations! REBEL Pro Proudly PRESENTS! PROVE YOUR WORTH!

The crowd is going nuts, psyched out from the introductory video as we fade to Linzi Martin and of course, Mikey Massacre.

Linzi Martin: Wow that got me totally soaked.

Mikey Massacre: You mean stoked?

Linzi Martin: No, no. I meant soaked.

Mikey cocks an eyebrow.

Mikey Massacre: Welcome folks. I’m Mikey Massacre.

Linzi Martin: And I’m Violet Harpers number one fan, Linzi Martin.

Mikey rolls his eyes.

Mikey Massacre: And the show starts now! With not a moment to lose, we’ve got a Triple Threat match of Doom!

Linzi Martin: What’s that even me?

Mikey Massacre: Every match in a REBEL ring should be doom for the losers.

*****Triple Threat Match of DOOM*****
*****Virgil Keenan versus Bobby Lee versus Jimmy Henderson*****

“I Hear The Voices” by Uriah Heep hits as Bobby Lee steps out, shifty eyed and the like.

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first. He is the uhhh… Reigning Curtain Jerker Champion!!!

Bobby Lee throws his arms into the air and the fans cheer him on.

Jenny Jersey: BOBBY LEE!!!!!

Lee slides into the ring and stretches. He’s keeping a watchful eye on the rafters though, in case the Zeti Reticuli show up.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing next.

The lights in the arena as the beat for “American Bad Ass” by Kid Rock starts to kick the PA and red, white, and blue laser lights start to dance about the arena and then focus on the entrance ramp as they form the Confederate Battle Flag on the curtain and the screen shows a flutter Confederate Battle Flag itself and with the words “American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God”, Jimmy steps out from behind the curtain and starts to walk to the ring, wearing a Hoodie that has the Confederate Flag on the front with “Rebel Born, Rebel Bred, and when I die, I’ll be Rebel Dead” on the back, with black long shorts with another rebel flag on his right thigh and “ABA” in white down his left thigh, wearing black boots with grey kick-pads. The screen shows images of him walking to the ring, tagging with Marco Dante and Super-kicking Bronx Williams with a small caption of “Footage courtesy of Pioneer Wrestling Alliance and the AOWF” at the bottom.

Jenny Jersey: JIMMY HENDERSON!!!!!

As he nears the apron, he leaps up from the floor and slides in under the ropes like Evan Bourne would and he throws off the hoodie into the crowd as he climbs up the turnbuckle, throwing a fist into the air as he looks out over the crowd and suddenly, he’d back flip and lands on his feet back into the ring, then starts bouncing off the ropes to get the feel for the ring, the crowd, and the atmosphere, until the match starts or his opponent enters.

Jenny Jersey: And finally, their opponent…

“Blood Meat” hits and everyone turns their attention to the entrance ramp. At least the fans and Jimmy. Bobby Lee is still looking up.

Jenny Jersey: He hails from Alberta, Canada… He is…

Jenny is freaked out as Virgil Keenan rolls out from under the ring, slides in and immediately hit’s a forearm smash on Bobby Lee.

Jenny Jersey: VIRGIL KEENAN!

She gets outta there, quick.

DING DING DING

Virgil Keenan grabs Bobby Lee from behind, belly to back suplex. Jimmy Henderson runs over and immediately begins hitting some martial arts styled kicks on Virgil Keenan. Keenan rolls away, trying to cover himself as Henderson continues his assault. Bobby Lee looks around, eyes shifting back and forth between Henderson and Keenan. Henderson lifts Keenan up, snap suplex! Bobby Lee launches himself forward with a body splash across Henderson, taking both men down and out. As Bobby Lee gets up, he doesn’t notice Keenan is back up as well. Virgil with a springboard forearm smash on Bobby Lee! Bobby Lee goes flying inbetween the ropes and to the outside.

Linzi Martin: This match is chaotic!

Mikey Massacre: They are doomed!

Bobby Lee looks up, seeing the lights! He runs under the ring to hide and plan his next move, certain the invasion is on.

Linzi Martin: Those are just arena lights.

Henderson rolls Virgil Keenan up!

1!

Mikey Massacre: He’s mistaken them for UFO lights, I do think.

2!!

Linzi Martin: Is Henderson about to steal this one?!

KICK OUT!

Mikey Massacre: My guess is no. Not yet anyways.

Henderson with an enziguri kick almost rips Keenan’s head off. Keenan is slow to his feet, as Henderson goes up top. Henderson goes for a hurricanrana!!! But Keenan reverses it, power bombing Henderson into the canvas but Keenan holds onto Jimmy’s legs, flipping him over and locking in an elevated Boston Crab!

Linzi Martin: Oh shit, better get my gas mask before the riot squad shows up.

Mikey Massacre: Relax.

Henderson is refusing to tap as the referee asks him. It’s at this point Bobby Lee comes out from under the ring. He’s got a garbage can lid as a shield, and a baseball bat covered in barbed wire as a sword. A collective, oh fuck. Lee slides into the ring behind Keenan’s line of sight. Henderson looks up, in pain and then awe and shock as Lee brings his barbed wire baseball bat down across the back of Jimmy’s head. Keenan turns his head to look over his shoulder, just as Lee swings. Keenan lets go of Henderson, falling forward into the ropes. He bounces off, going for a springboard back elbow but Bobby Lee raises his makeshift shield to block it.

Linzi Martin: Bobby looking like one of those warriors from the intro video. How sexy.

Mikey Massacre: Riiiiight.

Henderson is bleeding out the back of his head, and crawls away for a moment to regroup. Keenan goes for a left, Lee blocks it. Lee thrusts his bat at Keenan, who side steps it. Keenan goes for a kick, Lee blocks it with his garbage can lid shield. Lee swings the bat, connects right with Keenan’s face. Keenan spins around and is hanging off the ropes, bleeding all over himself. The crowd is going nuts! They can’t believe it! Bobby Lee with a spinning neck breaker on Keenan! HE COVERS!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT! KEENAN KICKS OUT! WHAT A BOSS!

Bobby Lee can’t believe it, coming so close to a win! Henderson is up, Lee doesn’t see him. Shining Wizard on Bobby Lee! Lee hit’s the canvas, Henderson grabs the garbage can lid and begins bashing it down over Lee’s face.

Linzi Martin: This is getting out of control.

Mikey Massacre: It was out of control the moment this match was booked.

Keenan wipes the blood off his face as he pulls himself to his feet. Keenan picks up the now bloodied barbed wire baseball bat and taps it on his boot before swinging, cracking it over the side of Jimmy Henderson’s face. Henderson stumbles into the ropes, bleeding even more now as Keenan swings one more time, sending Jimmy Henderson to the outside. He drops the bat and turns around as Lee gets to his feet. Lee runs at Keenan. BURNING HAMMER! KEENAN WITH BURNING HAMMER ON BOBBY LEE!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Keenan has his hand raised before sliding out of the ring.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, VIRGIL KEENAN!

Linzi Martin: I guess this means Lee retains his title.

Mikey Massacre: How sad for Jimmy and Virgil.

*****The Arrival*****

We cue up with a panoramic view of the arena’s garage. Initially there’s no movement, but soon enough a black Cadillac Escalade speeds by with purpose.

Mikey Massacre: It looks like someone’s inbound in a hurry!

Linzi Martin: And in style, to say the least!
The next camera shot is low to the ground, just inches shy of where the Escalade screeches to a halt. From a rear view we catch a glimpse of the licence plates which read “SiD”.

Mikey Massacre: Our Queen of Everything is making quite the fashionable entrance tonight, eh?
As the rear passenger side door opens up, the legs of a figure are all which come into view. Black slacks, black shoes, but a very masculine tone. The person in questions stops in place but for a moment, then walks off to an undetermined point.
Linzi Martin: I wouldn’t speak too soon, that footwear may be high-priced, but they are most definitely a men’s size!

Mikey Massacre: I don’t see how that immediately disqualifies Lisa Seldon, but I suppose there’s no reason to hide her face from the camera. WAIT, could this be the earth-shattering signing we’ve all been promised tonight?!
Linzi Martin: If it is, the anticipation is sure to continue. Those were “Self~inflicted Drama” to be sure.

Mikey Massacre: This night has been billed as historic, and if this is any indication we’re well on our way to delivering on that promise!

*****Loser Leaves Town Match*****
*****Lucious Starr versus Jaice Wilds*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following is a LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH! Introducing first!

Jaice Wilds gets thrown out onto the stage, bloodied and battered. Starr follows him from behind, a dented up steel chair in hand as he continues to bash Jaice Wilds, apparently the fighting having already begun.

DING DING DING

The referee just decides to call for the bell, as Jersey gets the shit out of the ring with Starr throwing Jaice into it. Lucious Starr ignores the booing fans as he goes under the ring now.

Linzi Martin: What the hell is this? Starr is about to screw

Mikey Massacre: Well, shit.

Starr comes back out with a big bad of goodies with him. He rolls back into the ring, Jaice Wilds bloodied and trying to crawl away. Starr drops out a cinder block, a pipe and then holds the bag upside down for a bunch of thumbtacks to fall onto the canvas.

Linzi Martin: Aw man, are we about to lose Jaice Wilds? Just when he beat the INS too.

Starr grabs Jaice up from behind, lifting the smaller man up into a torture rack. The crowd boos, the referee asking Jaice if he’s willing to quit but Jaice flat out refuses. Starr flips him around, fall away slam onto the thumbtacks. Starr lifts up the cinder block now, holding it high into the air as Jaice rolls out of the bed of thumbtacks in pain. Jaice looks up, BANG! The cinder block breaks apart as Starr whips it at Wilds’ face. Wilds is seemingly down, out and down for. Starr picks up the lead pipe now and begins trying to do some body work on Jaice as he bashes him all over his broken and bloodied body.

Linzi Martin: Whoa, whoa, WHOA! NO WAY! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?!

Motherfucking PANZADISE comes out from backstage, Nintendo console in hand baby. Starr doesn’t notice him, the jackass he is he assumes the crowd is suddenly cheering for him and he waves to them, smiling. The PWA World Champion climbs up into the ring, and spins Lucious around. NINTENDO CONSOLE SMASHED OVER HIS HEAD! YEAH! The crowd is loving it, Starr is stumbling around woozy. Panzadise grabs him, THE PANZADISE BOMB ONTO THE THUMBTACKS!!! The crowd is loving it! Panzadise grabs the fucked up Jaice Wilds, and drapes him over Starr as he makes his exit.

1!

Panzadise cracks a grin, walking backwards up the ramp.

2!!

The fans cheer the PWA World champ as he stands at the top of the entrance ramp.

3!!!

DING DING DING!

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, JAICE WILDS!!!

Starr throws Jaice off of him, who’s still basically KO’d. Starr sits up, winces as he pulls thumbtacks out of his back. Simon Kalis steps out, microphone in one hand. He high fives Panzadise, they share a laugh and Panzadise waves to the REBEL fans and leaves.

Simon Kalis: You thought you could sneak attack your way into keeping the ridiculous fucking contract Gold signed for you? Well guess what, Lucy baby?

The crowd jump to their feet, cheering.

Simon Kalis: YOU’RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!!! Now YOU! Get the FUCK out of my ring!

Security rushes the ring as EMTs arrive to check on Jaice Wilds as Kalis leaves the ringside area and heads backstage.

Linzi Martin: Simon sure has a lot of pals. Enika Engel. Matthew Engel! Thunderwolf! Teresa Quaranta, I think? Panzadise! Who else am I missing?

Mikey Massacre: What the hell is this, honestly Linzi? We have the PWA World Champion show up, the PWA Intercontinental champion in a match tonight here. Next thing you know, the god damn supposed “Summer of Bogard” will reach REBEL Pro and the Grizzly Beer Champ will show up too.

Linzi Martin: Ohhhh, that’d be exciting! Wouldn’t it?

Starr is escorted out of the arena, as Jaice is placed up on a stretcher and attended to by medically inclined people.

*****Everything is Falling Apart. Or is it?*****

Jeremy Gold: Well, uhm. At least your pal Panzadise saved the day.

Kalis nods, lighting a cigarette and spinning around in his awesome bosses leather spin chair thingy.

Simon Kalis: Yeah, well he’s awesome like that and it was fun seeing him come here to mash up Starr so… No surprises. Still. I’ve got some fucking problems now, apparently.

Gold sits across Simon’s

desk, shivering. He looks around nervously, as Rupert the Kangaroo stands by the TV watching porno. Kalis is seemingly getting angrier by the second.

Simon Kalis: This is bullshit. Seriously. Apparently Vic Wagner got lost up the collective asshole of the PWA and that jackass Rob Robinson, though if you ask me I wager he didn’t want to be anywhere near a building with Matt Stone in it. And speaking of that sneaky fucker, his match is god damn ruined. Maverick flaked out like usual that pussy.

Jeremy Gold: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there’s a conspiracy to push REBEL Pro down cause we’re all doing so awesome.

Kalis taps his finger against the desk, ignoring Gold’s dumbass statement.

Simon Kalis: The hell do we do?

Gold whimpers, wiping his watery eyes. He gets sad when Simon is mad.

Jeremy Gold: Well, someone else from Victory showed up to take Johnny’s place.

Kalis perks up.

Simon Kalis: Who?! Enika? Teresa? Anna? Hell, is it me? I’d know if it was me, wouldn’t I?

Jeremy Gold: Errr, no. Suukya. It’s Suukya.

Simon hits his face against his desk as we fade to ringside…

*****Matt Stone(PWA) versus Suukya(Victory)*****

“Stand Up” by Jet hits the arenas PA-system as the lights dim and strobe lights begin to throb throughout the stadium.

Jenny Jersey: Coming to the ring now from Arizona. Weighing in at 230-pounds and standing at six-feet five-inches… SUUKYA’!

Suukya’ takes his cue and emerges from behind the thick curtain a heavy boxer style robe of black covering his body, hood up shielding his face. With a slight jog he moves down to ringside extending a hand to those who reach out to him… ignoring those that jeer him.

Reaching ringside he whips off his robe and hands it over to the ring attendant, with a little bob of his head in appreciation, leaving him standing in a black singlet with orange-red, turquoise, and black trim. As he turns his back to enter the ring we catch the air brushed Great Seal of the Hopi Nation. Inside the ring he finds a corner and takes a moment to drop down to the knee in a silent prayer.

Slowly his music fades away as the strobe lights cease and the house lights raise again.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent… He is the PWA Intercontinental Champion… MATT STONE!!!!

Say whoa (whoa)
The more I feed it (whoa)
The more I need it (whoa)
Whoa
You say whoa
Whoa is me
I’m so whoa

Matt Stone comes out from the back to a chorus of boos. He struts down the ramp towards the ring, wearing his patterned hoodie with a large Maple Leaf on the back. He threatens to hit a member of the crowd who was holding up a “Canada sucks” sign and just walks on.

Say whoa (whoa)
The more I feed it (whoa)
The more I need it (whoa)
Whoa
You say whoa
Whoa is me
I’m so whoa

Matt gets on the apron and gets inside the ring, heading straight to a corner and mounts the middle turnbuckle raising his hands. “I’m the best there is!” He shouts out over the loud jeers being rained down on him. He shakes his head to their reaction. “You don’t deserve to see me!” He shouts out getting down and taking off the hoodie. Matt get’s ready for his opponent, bouncing off the ropes to loosen up as his music fades away.

Linzi Martin: Gotta wonder how Suukya is feeling after everything that happened to him at the hands of Sedition Rising.

Mikey Massacre: He’s screwed.

DING DING DING

Stone rushes at him, elbow collar tie up. Suukya slaps his arm and shoulder, Stone twists him around and lays him out with an impact DDT! Suukya gets to his feet and grabs ahold of Stone. He goes for a suplex but Stone gets out of it mid air, flips himself over and takes Suukya down with a corkscrew neck breaker! The crowd goes nuts, loving it!

Mikey Massacre: Stone impressing some of the REBEL fans here tonight.

Linzi Martin: I remember him from my PWA days. I’m surprised he didn’t have one of his bitches come out to fight for him, he used to be so lazy.

As Suukya gets to his feet, Stone moves in for an immediate strike, a flying lariat as he comes forward. He nails Suukya in the head but all he does is then move himself towards him, hitting him with a vicious and dirty knee-on-knee colission. Suukya flips to the canvas and The Straight Shooter drops his leg over his throat for good measure, showing everyone why he is still the PWA Intercontinental Champion! He elbows him right in the eye and then jumps back, wrapping Suukya’s legs up and then falling to the canvas himself, completely locking Suukya in an Indian Deathlock. He has no clear emotion as he simply focuses on applying the pressure on the move, putting great strain on Suukya.

Mikey Massacre: Indian Death Lock is rarely used, but it’s a highly effective move.

Linzi Martin: Yeah I wouldn’t want to be put in that hold. Though the Indian Kama Sutra, different story.

Suukya yells and screams, flailing around trying to get out of the move. Stone shakes his head and decides a change of strategy is needed. Stone flips himself onto his stomach, now inverting the Indian death lock much to the chagrin of Suukya. Stone yells at Suukya to tap, but Suukya is fighting through the pain and still refusing to tap out.

Mikey Massacre: In theory, Stone only needs to keep the submission hold on forever until Suukya either taps or passes out from the pain. There are no rope breaks or disqualifications in REBEL Pro after all.

Linzi Martin: And he might just use that to his advantage.

Stone gives up and lets go of Suukya. Stone gets to his feet, scoffing at the REBEL Pro fans as he waits for Suukya. Suukya gets to his feet and goes for a grapple, Stone is overpowered by the much bigger man and sent flying into the turnbuckles. As Suukya rushes at Stone, he crushes Stone between himself and the turnbuckle and grabs Stone, Northern Lights suplex! Stone pulls himself off the canvas, as Suukya sits up on the top turnbuckle. Suukya jumps off, BUT STONE WITH THE C-C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER ON SUUKYA!!! The crowd roars!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, MATT STONE!

Stone spits at the REBEL Pro logo on the ring and slides out, leaving the arena shaking his head. The crowd boos, at him, and at the unknown whereabouts of Johnny Maverick.

Fans: WHERE’S JOHNNY? WHERE’S JOHNNY?

Stone turns around, nodding and he seems to mouth the words “I agree, I agree” as he leaves Suukya fucked up in the ring.

*****Just Business*****

Bubba J walks down the hallway, carrying a case with him, but its no ordinary case, its a case containing “Ripper” his self-made weapon of choice. He stops in front of a door marked “J.T. Whiplash” and stares at the camera.

“What, do you honestly expect me to let you into hear our conversation? Do you honestly think I’m going to allow you to hear us talking?”

He points towards the door.

“This is business, just business.”

He points out to the arena where the fans are yelling and having a good time.

“I’ve got to take care of some business tonight, but go ahead and look for it to happen, but as for this man…”

He points to the name.

“Not gonna happen. So pack up your camera, do whatever you have to do with it, and get the hell out of my damn face.”

He waits and as the door starts to open, the camera blacks out as a voice comes from behind the camera.

V/O: They never listen Bubba, don’t you know that by now?

J talks from in front of the camera.

J: “Exactly why I asked you to come from behind Vincent, now lets go talk to this man right chere.”

Black shoves the camera into the wall, creating a multitude of snow; but the mic still picks up the door shutting.

*****Cage Match*****
*****Gabe Shelley versus Legion*****

The lights in the arena go to black and the heavy bass of ‘Inside’ by NiN kicks in over the sound system. Rising from a hole set in the middle of the stage is Legion, a backlight showing only his silhouette. The arena lights come back up and Legion is joined on stage by members of his congregation and they all make their way to the ring.

Yeah, you guessed it… chipmunks with red laser lights attached to their heads run down from the back as “In Fate’s Hands” hits up in the speakers. The women scream as the vicious, hopped up on crack cocaine from Jeremy’s stash) run all over the damn place.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing Gabe Shelley!

Gabe accidentally stomps on a chipmunk, causing a little girl to begin crying as the little chipmunk brains squish out of his little skull.

Ding Ding

The cage of death surrounds both Legion and Gabe Shelley, who stare at each other with something akindling less than admiration or love. Referee Jimmy Johnson stands away from the two as they come together in a bang. Well, Legion nails Shelley in the face with a knuckle sandwich rocking him back, but the former BWF World Champion rocks Legion back with a meaty right hook of his own. Legion absorbs the blow as he rocks back, ducking under the next blow and up behind Gabe shoving him into the barbed wire and glass covered steel cage; Shelley is the first to bleed in this match. Legion rubs his face along the surface, creating cuts and abrasions all over his face.

Mikey Massacre: Shelley the first to lose blood here.

Linzi Martin: But surely not the last here in this match as I’ve got a five hundred dollar bet that Jimmy loses some as well.

Shelley with a back elbow thrust catches Legion off guard before reaching back and shoving his face into the cage, ripping his mask somewhat. Legion smiles though as he tries to cuff Gabe’s wrist to the cage wall, but Shelley nails him in the face with a left hook sending the cuffs flying and Legion to the canvas. Shelley with a stomp before lawn darting Legion’s head into the cage wall and as he rebounds, whipping him across the ring. Shelley lowers his shoulder into Legion’s midsection before flipping him up and over to land back on the canvas. Shelley spins around, but Legion is rolling up to his feet. Shelley with a stomp over, unleashes a kick to Legion’s face, but Legion dives at the planted leg taking Shelley down to the canvas in some sort of Lou Thesz press as he pounds away at Gabe’s upturned and bloody face.

Linzi Martin: Legion taking it to the former BWF World Champion.

Mikey Massacre: Legion is a very talented individual.

Linzi Martin: You don’t like him, do you?

Mikey Massacre: Not a bit.

Legion rolls off Gabe, up to his feet, but Shelley is there to trip him up. Shelley is bleeding from the nose and mouth; not to mention the other lacerations on his face thanks to this demonstrative cage. Legion rolls over to his feet as Gabe does the same. The two men come together, collar and elbow style; Gabe behind Legion with a rear waistlock. Legion reverses the hold into a wristlock, kicking Gabe in the ribs; but Gabe pulls him to him, short arm clotheslining him to the canvas. Stompfest from Gabe as Legion tries to roll out of the stomping range of Gabe, but he pursues him like a fat kid going after the last piece of birthday cake. Gabe pulls him up, dragging his face across the cage, before hooking him in a double wristlock(behind the back) and dragging his chest across the cage wall, causing multiple of lacerations to the chest. Gabe looks down, spotting the handcuffs and locks them around Legion’s wrist. Gabe proceeds to beat the hell out of Legion, right hand after right hand. Someone from the crowd tosses a steel chair up and over the cage side, but Shelley looks grateful as he pounds the steel into Legion’s face. Shelley winds up, cracking him in the face with a second, then we cut back to another fan tossing in a lead pipe as well. The fan is none other than Bubba J, a man that Legion had attacked last week by Mr. Piggy. J shoots the camera a bird, but we can tell its directed right at Legion, who’s face turned dazedly towards Bubba J.

Linzi Martin: Bubba J getting involved with this match tonight.

Mikey Massacre: Not a surprise at all, I’ve known him his entire Rebel Pro career and he won’t take what happened last week lying down.

Legion spins away, but Gabe golfs a shot right up into his face, Legion is forced to sit down in the corner. Gabe places the chair right in the ropes(against Legion’s face) and comes from across the ring, leaping into the air and driving the steel right into his face with a dropkick. An audible crunch is heard as the chair connects with Legion’s face and it has to be the sound of his breaking nose. The chair falls and we are met immediately with the enormous amount of blood from Legion’s nose. Gabe pulls him up from the corner, but Legion fires a right hand into Gabe’s face, which catches him off-guard because his wrists have been uncuffed. Gabe receives another shot, a third, and a fourth. Legion is rocking Gabe’s world with vigour and intensity.

Linzi Martin: How?

Mikey Massacre: I think Mr. Piggy had something to do with it…

Well, actually it was a man wearing a piggy mask who slinks back under the ring; the handcuffs still laying in the corner. Shelley receives a boot to the midsection and a DDT for a chance to slam his head into he canvas. Legion pulls the chair up, placing it in the seated position before lifting Gabe up, slamming his head through the seat with a cradle piledriver. However, Legion isn’t through, as he pulls the now broken chair up, wrapping it around Gabe’s neck and using it to choke the life out of him.

Linzi Martin: What ferocity from Legion… its kind of sexy.

Mikey Massacre: If you say so.

Linzi Martin: Not Violent Violet Harper sexy, but ya know.

Mikey Massacre: Uh… huh.

Legion grabs the handcuffs, walking back over to Gabe, trying to lock him against the cage once again. A loud popping and sizzling noise, along with a sudden bright flash, sends Legion rolling backards.

Mikey Massacre: But I didn’t think it was going to be electrified!

Linzi Martin: Another surprise from Simon Kalis.

Legion’s front is red from the singeing and he is in obvious pain. Rolling up to his feet, Gabe and Legion are nearly identical. Legion is a bit quicker, nailing Shelley in his bad leg, causing him to cripple up. Legion seems to be pissed off now as he begins to pound down and down again with the lead pipe, sending blood spraying up from the lacerations he is causing on Gabe’s skull. Jimmy Johnson comes over, to try and stop this murderous rampage, but is met right in the face with the pipe, knocking him out cold. Jimmy’s nose is busted from the impact and Legion drags his face across the second rope and then across the rope again before launching him into the electrified cage. Jimmy hangs there for a moment as the electricity courses through his body and the blood pours from his nose and cuts on his face.

Linzi Martin: Hell yeah! I won 10,000 dollars babah!

Mikey Massacre: How?

Linzi Martin: The bet my dear Mikey, I got great odds because the referees never bleed… not even in Rebel Pro!

Gabe is still out cold on the canvas as Legion lifts him up, delivering his finisher “Enter Blackness”(jacknife powerbomb) to Gabe, but manages to make his head and neck slam into the turnbuckle. Legion covers for the pin, but Jimmy is slow to make the count(and we wonder why well its because he’s half-dead by now)

One…

Legion looks at him as if saying hurry up or I’ll sacrifice your liver or something.

Two…

Better yet, I’ll sacrifice your eyeballs before munching them as though they are candy in my dish.

Three…

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match… Legion!

Legion lifts Gabe up, Jimmy powerless to stop him, and handcuffs him to the cage, dealing with the shock and all, in a crucifixion pose. Legion stands back, but here comes Bubba J from the back with “Ripper”(his self-made weapon) in his hand., the bat is already dripping some blood from the various pointy and sharp objects on it. Legion dives out of the cage before Bubba J can get there and heads into the crowd.

Mikey Massacre: What a match!

Linzi Martin: Bubba J is staring out at Legion, who is making his way through the crowd.

The cage is no longer electrified, but Bubba J continues the stare, holding the bat barrel down towards the ground.

Mikey Massacre: A camera has just caught up with something that happened backstage, moments ago.

The scene cuts backstage where a dozen of Legion’s lesser known members lay in a spreading pool of destruction; all wear masks. Strangely missing are Mr. Piggy and his cohort in the beating of Bubba J last week.

*****Some Light Interaction Between Opponents*****

Lisa Seldon is seen mingling backstage and generally minding her own business, which is normally enough to keep you safe in wrestling.

Actually that’s a lie, it tends to just make you a target, which is the exact result which befalls Lisa, as a hulking great figure rounds the corner and breaks a big mess of glass tubes across her back. Lisa goes down but doesn’t stay there for long and jumps up to return fire at the figure, who turns out to be Vincent Black. The two come to blows but get to land just a few shots before referees, ring technicians and other wrestlers dive in two separate them. Lisa Seldon is beside herself with annoyance but Black just soaks it in and calls out over the throng of people to raise her ire a little more.

Vincent Black: Hey bitch, you wanna tell people you’re Rebel Pro. How about we up the stakes?

The crowd around Vincent Black settles a little as he stops trying to fight his way through. The same can’t be said for Lisa.

Vincent Black: I’m talking you and me for the world title in a light tube death match. And then I can show you and all these new fans you think you’ve brought in what being in Rebel Pro is all about!

Lisa Seldon, still trying to fight her way through, shouts back.

Lisa Seldon: Fine! Someone get to home depot and buy me a whole load of shit I can use to kill this guy!

Black smiles and nods at his handiwork before backing up the hall. Lisa meanwhile finally shrugs off the crowd and turns the other way, her face a flame but finally starting to settle. The camera cuts away.

*****REBEL Pro World Tag Team Title Contendership Match*****
*****Case Filed Rockets versus Style Clash*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will decide the Number One Contenders for the REBEL Pro World Tag Team Titles!

“Troublesome ‘96” by 2Pac hits and the crowd jumps to their feet.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first! At a combined weight of 490 pounds…

The strobe lights pan the arena as Justin Case and Rocky Logan step out, flanking their exquisite manager and friend Hugh Aredone.

Jenny Jersey: Accompanied to the ring by Hugh Aredone! They are “The Millennium Game” Justin Case and “Wreckless” Rocky Logan… THEY… ARE… CASE FILED ROCKETS!!!!!

They enter the ring, pyros exploding off around them. But, suddenly, “Love and War” by Drowning Pool hits.

Jenny Jersey: And their opponents! Introducing first, he hails from Boulder, Colorado… He is… TABOO!!!!!

Taboo steps out, none too impressed with Case or Logan and begins walking towards the ring.

Jenny Jersey: And his partner!

Arena lights go out and on the big screen we see an old fashion movie reel countdown 3… 2… 1…

then we here the sound byte “Ali said I am the grestest”

Jenny Jersey: “The Show” Chad Kurtis… Together, they are… STYLE CLASH!!!

followed by pyros going off as “cocky” hit the speakers and “the show” makes his way to the ring from the crowd, as the light kicks on before baseball sliding into the ring. Taboo slides in and immediately all four men begin brawling it out. Hugh Aredone hops up onto the apron and begins cussing out Style Clash.

DING DING DING

Rocky Logan quick to capitalize on the distracted Chad Kurtis, he rushes forward and dropkicks Kurtis in the back of the head sending him face first into the turnbuckle. Kurtis bounces off, stumbling back as Logan unleashes a fury of punches that send Kurtis back into the corner. Taboo and Case are grappling, each man trying to over power the other. Case seems to have the upper advantage but Taboo quickly spins himelf around, grabbing Case from behind and taking him down with a full nelson suplex. Meanwhile, Chad however is quick to get to his feet, tripping Logan to keep him down on his way up. He grabs hold of the top rope with both hands, and uses it as leverage as he stomps down multiple times on the back of Rocky’s head, relentless in attack. As Logan gets up Kurtis positions himself quickly, laying him out with a back body drop.

Mikey Massacre: And what started off as a back and forth, now seems like Style Clash are in complete control of this match.

Linzi Martin: I think they’re all kinda assholes, really. But everyone is loving Justin Case these days, he’s become quite the popular folk hero across the AoWF after his impressive showing in the TV title tournament.

Logan gets up slowly, but Kurtis is waiting like a predator about to pounce and as he does Logan counters quickly with a bionic elbow sending “The Show” back. Taboo with a Northern Lights Suplex on Justin Case, he has a very controlling and dominating way about him. But Justin Case you didn’t know, Case is back in it with a quick European uppercut followed by a fall away slam. Logan with a left now, Kurtis responds with a right. Logan throws another left and as Chad goes for a right he fakes it, instead sending a kick into Logan’s gut and grabbing him, locking Rocky’s arms and planting him with a double armed DDT. Case quickly grabs Taboo up and whips him into the ropes. Case follows it up by clotheslining Taboo right over the top rope. Justin Case climbs up onto the top turnbuckle… HURRICANRANA ON TABOO!

Linzi Martin: Front row seats, fuck yeah!

Mikey Massacre: Both these teams know what’s at stake, a shot at Hardcore Entertainment.

Logan is up but stumbles back, Kurtis now rushes forward with a clothesline but Rocky instinctively ducks. Kurtis however quickly latches onto Rocky and hits a reverse snap suplex laying Wreckless down and out. What he doesn’t expect is Justin Case, who grabs him from behind and hit’s a vicious backbreaker on “The Show”. Case lifts Kurtis up and whips him into the corner turnbuckles. Meanwhile Taboo is up and he’s grabbing a bunch of tables from underneath the ring. He slides them into the ring one by one as Kurtis is thrown over the top rope, but manages to take both Case and Logan with him. Taboo begins setting up the tables, four of them, side by side in the middle of the ring.

Linzi Martin: Just what on Earth is he planning to do?

Mikey Massacre: I figure we’ll find out soon enough, Linzi.

Logan slides into the ring after Taboo. Taboo with a snap suplex, takes Logan to the canvas. He then whips Logan into the turnbuckles as Case throws Kurtis into the ring. Case takes Kurtis up on one turnbuckle, as Taboo lifts Rocky Logan up on the opposite one. Both men try to keep balance, and… BANG! BOOM! CRASH! ETC! SUPERPLEXES FROM THE TOPE ROPE THROUGH ALL THE TABLES! The crowd goes NUTS! The referee sees Case with his arm draped over Kurtis!

1!

Mikey Massacre: Hey, wait a second.

2!!

Linzi Martin: Taboo has his arm over Logan!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match… Justin Case and Rocky Logan… CASE FILED ROCKETS!!

Taboo is arguing with the referee, but the referee claims he never saw that as Case, Logan and Aredone laugh and smile their way back up the ramp quickly.

Linzi Martin: Did Style Clash just get shafted?

Mikey Massacre: There’ll be hell to pay when this is all said and done…

*****More Mystery Fun*****

We cue up once again backstage, this time in a long corridor full of supposed locker rooms. Plenty of backstage personnel scurry around, but the crowd reacts sharply as the presence of Simon Kalis comes into view. In his hand we immediately come to notice the metal briefcase he was in possession of last week on Aggression.

Mikey Massacre: That’s the very same briefcase we saw Simon Kalis toting around last week. You don’t suppose..?

Linzi Martin: If you’re thinking it has to do with our promised contract signing, it must be pretty lucrative for Kalis to keep it that close to the vest!

The camera man keeps a close pace as Kalis closes in on his destination. Reaching a conspicuously unmarked door, he knocks twice. The door cracks open, and Kalis turns to move inside. The camera men tries to follow, but Kalis turns back around and shoves the camera away, slamming the door shut behind him as the door slams immediately shut.

Mikey Massacre: Once again we’re left in the dark!

Linzi Martin: But with not much longer to go, the light has to be shed on the situation soon enough.

*****REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Match*****
*****J.T. Whiplash versus Violet Harper©*****

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the REBEL Pro Aggression Championship!!! Introducing first, the challenger!

The lights go out as an image of a copperhead slithering down a dirt road airs on the REBEL-Tron as the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play with the snake slithering down the path. The snake then coils up in position to strike as the bagpipe intro ends and “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system as red, white, and blue lighting goes off throughout the arena. Just then, a spot-light shines on J.T. Whiplash in his wrestling attire, holding a Rebel flag as the fans erupt in cheers. J.T. then waves the Rebel flag in the air hollering as he does so. He then puts the flag over his shoulder as he makes his way to the ring slowly, tagging hands with as many fans as he can get to as he gets to the end of the ramp-way, pausing as he waves his Rebel flag around again before walking to the ring steps and sticking his Rebel flag in the ring post as he steps over the middle rope and climbs in the ring, shouting and hollering for the fans to cheer as he climbs up each second turn-buckle and lets out a loud “YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAWWW!!!” as he gives the crowd a bull-horn sign before he paces back and forth in the ring like a pissed-off hyena as he runs against the ropes a couple of times before going back to pacing as the music dies down.

Jenny Jersey: J.T….. WHIPLAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!

“Gasoline” by Audioslave hits and the crowd goes nuts, especially the guys.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent! She is the reigning Aggression Champion…

Violet comes bolting out from backstage, running to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: She is VIOLET HARPER!!!

Jersey quickly gets out of the ring as Harper chucks her the Aggression title for safe keeping, sliding into the ring.

DING DING DING

LINZI MARTIN: And our Aggression Title match is underway!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Both competitors had quite a lot to say this week and we’ll get to find out first hand just who backs it up!
LINZI MARTIN: Go Violet!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Shocker! Pun intended.
This match was one for the ages and it got about as nearly hardcore as any Rebel match has ever gotten. Violet and Whiplash started off the match going strike for strike, but Whiplash’s size and strength won him that exchange and he made Violet pay for it dearly with his Copperhead Bite, which is a running knee lift to the face with Whiplash wearing a thumbtack-covered kneepad. Violet was busted open at this point and we’re all glad it wasn’t a first blood match. Whiplash went to work on the Aggression champion with all kinds of old school moves and hardcore delights, opening up Violet’s skin even more and crushing her through the announcer’s table with The Southern Discomfort (high-impact brainbuster)! So yeah, the announcer’s table is gone. They’re probably going to bring a new one out between this match and the World Title match. Maybe, if Simon Kails thinks you’re lucky. Whiplash tried for a gut-wrench powerbomb off the top rope but Harper reversed with a hurricanrana and showed some life after all. She wasn’t dead. Harper went for the corkscrew 630 senton bomb and connected! She went for the cover right away and Whiplash kicked out after two. Harper then really turned the match around in her favor and grabbed a steel chair out from underneath the ring and went to work on Whiplash’s knees, just like she said she would. Whiplash was yelling out in pain from the chair shots but was put out of his misery with one right to the head. Harper connected with a 450 Frog Splash off the top rope! But she wasn’t done, and neither was Whiplash as he was getting to his feet while Harper was set on the top rope.
Violet follows up with the PURPLE HAZE OFF THE TOP ROPE! She made the cover!
BUT WHIPLASH KICKS OUT! NO ONE HAS EVER KICKED OUT OF THAT BEFORE!
LINZI MARTIN: Stupid redne–
MIKEY MASSACRE: Whoa, whoa. Be aware of your surroundings, Linzi.
LINZI MARTIN: You’re right, sorry.
The crowd was divided, half cheering for the Confederate Copperhead and the other cheering for the sexy Violet Harper. We all know who the commentators were cheering for as we’re sure Linzi Martin was damn near orgasming throughout the entire match watching her lover Violet drip with sweat blood and awesomeness.
LINZI MARTIN: I LOVE YOU VIOLET!
MIKEY MASSACRE: Sheesh, why don’t you two go to New York and get married?

LINZI MARTIN: No, I… I love her like a sister, Mikey!
MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh that’s even worse! And yet I’m still strangely aroused!
LINZI MARTIN: No! That’s not what I meant. Just shut up Mikey!
Harper got distracted by Linzi’s proclaim of love and Whiplash speared her into the corner! Whiplash went back to town on Harper in a way she doesn’t like. Well, either way she probably wouldn’t have liked it. Whiplash is old…and wrinkly. Anyway, Whiplash brought out a spool of razorwire! Now we’re getting somewhere. Whiplash did the unthinkable and wrapped Violet with the razorwire and took her down with the Whip-Cracker! Violet seemed nearly out and Whiplash cut himself up a little bit in the process, but Whiplash made the cover after painfully removing the razorwire off of her and amazingly VIOLET KICKED OUT! The crowd went nuts!

Crowd: REB-EL! REB-EL! REB-EL!
The crowd always chants that when someone does the impossible because here in Rebel Pro we specialize in that kind of shit. Whiplash couldn’t believe it either and even went along with the Rebel chant. He was motioning for Violet to get up, kind of like in the movie Rocky when Rocky was all fucked up and motioning for Apollo to bring it. Imagine that. Violet got to her feet and she’s a bloody terrible mess. Whiplash connects with the Copperhead Bite again! Damn! And he’s not done. Whiplash grabs two light tubes from underneath the ring and slides back in. He stuffs the light tubes down the back of Violet’s shirt, proving once more why women should only wear bras when they wrestle, and he steps back a few steps. Whiplash charges forward and gives Violet a thrust kick to the back, smashing the two light tubes against her skin! Violet falls to the mat in a heap of pain, and Whiplash makes the cover again!
NO! VIOLET GOT HER FOOT ON THE ROPE! HOLY SHIT!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
We all imagine Linzi Martin is drenched in her pants right now, and it’s fun to think that. Whiplash cannot believe the toughness of the Aggression Champion as he sits in the corner, covered in blood and sweat himself. Violet is amazingly getting to her feet and shaking out the light tube shards from her shirt. Whiplash rises up and charges but Violet ducks a clothesline, Violet nails Whiplash with lefts and rights, and then slams a fist right into his throat! Whiplash is paralyzed for a moment falling to his knees and Violet slides out of the ring. She comes back with a goddamn Hewlett Packard Laser Jet printer! She runs and smashes it into Whiplash’s face! The printer parts go everywhere and Harper raises her fists into the air! Whiplash makes a last-ditch effort and kicks Violet in the back of her knee. Whiplash tackles Harper and they go outside the ring. We all know there aren’t any countouts in Rebel. We’re men…and women, and we settle our shit with violence and not technicalities. What happened next was unforgettable as Whiplash and Harper battled up the rampway, no weapons, just their fists of fury and trying to knock the other down. Harper seemed like a giant, standing up to the brutality of Whiplash and dishing out her own. Finally Whiplash made Harper go down to the steel of the rampway. Whiplash came down with a brutal legdrop across the throat of Harper. Whiplash followed up with a gorilla press slam right on the top of the stage! Harper was in a lot of pain, but as close as it was, Harper managed to slip out of a second Whip-Cracker and give Whiplash a bicycle kick to the back, sending him over the edge of the stage falling about 25 feet to the floor below where the crowd was going CRAZY!
CROWD: FINISH HIM!

CROWD: WHIP-LASH! WHIP-LASH!
The crowd was still divided. And much to Violet’s surprise after she got up to look over the edge, Whiplash was getting to his feet! WHAT THE FUCK!? The guy is unstoppable and will not stay down! Violet shakes her head. She’s gotta do it, even if it kills her. FOR THE WINS!
But can she?
Whiplash might not know where he is right now, but he’s on his feet like the tough badass motherfocker he is and Violet leaps off the edge.
PURPLE HAZE FROM THE TOP OF THE STAGE! HOLY SHIT!
LINZI MARTIN: OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
MIKEY MASSACRE: She’s…they’re both dead, they have to be. We just let two people kill themselves Linzi!
But check it. There’s movement. It’s from the Aggression Champion. The stupid slow referee who finally gets to the scene of the crime sees Violet drape her crimson arm over Whiplash, who got flipped on his back from the impact. The referee made the count.

1…
2…

3!!!

DING DING DING!!!

JENNY JERSEY: And the winner of this match… still your Aggression Champion… VIOLET HARPER!!!

The referee tries to get Violet to her feet to raise her hand, but she collapses to the floor. Still no movement out of Whiplash. EMTs rush onto the scene to help both competitors who just put their livelihoods on the line for the Rebel Pro universe and the Aggression Championship. Unbelievable.

MIKEY MASSACRE: What a match, Linzi…and yet, Violet Harper remains undefeated against the Rebel Pro roster and holds onto her Aggression Championship once more!
LINZI MARTIN: She’s the best Mikey. But I really give some props to Whiplash, he took everything she dished out and then some, and even hurt Violet really bad. I mean… this could have gone either way.

MIKEY MASSACRE: You’re right Linzi…and now you may go to the bathroom to clean up while we get a new announcer’s table.

LINZI MARTIN: …okay.

*****THE JOKE‘S ON YOU!*****

Mikey Massacre: Ladies and gentlmen, as we get set for our main event of the evening…

Everything in the arena stops functioning; the lights, the REBELTron and the sound system.

Mikey Massacre: What the hell? There must’ve been some kind of power outage! Which, if that is the case, no one watching could hear my voice right now. So, I’m going to keep speaking just incase.

Linzi Martin: HA HA! You just said “Justin Case”.

Mike Massacre: *face palm — in the dark*

The arena continues to remain dark and silent until…

[ STATIC ]

It fills the REBELTron and the sound system. Shortly after, “The Outside [Apocalypse Mix]” by A Perfect Circle harmonizes into the arena as the scene on the REBELTron shows a camera panning slowly down a blood smeared hallway of a hospital. The camera continues down the hallway to show an empty straightjacket hanging from the ceiling of a cell in the psychiatric ward.

After twenty-nine seconds, the drumming of the song begins. Strobe lights begin flickering in the arena as a series of disturbing images grace the scene for a split second. As the music becomes whole, the stage below the REBELTron becomes dimly light as we see fog rolling from the entranceway.

At the one-minute-and-twenty-eight-second mark, the music becomes a resonating guitar while the arena once again dims. All that can be see are the images on the REBELTron which begin to show highlights of Rebel Pro wrestlers. The first wrestler showcased on the screen is Bobby Lee…

### HELP ME IF YOU CAN ###
### IT’S JUST THAT THIS ###

…Justin Case…

### IS NOT THE WAY I’M WIRED ###
### SO COULD YOU PLEASE ###
### HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY ###

…J.T. Whiplash…

### YOU’RE GIVING IN TO ALL THESE ###
### WRECKLESS DARK DESIRES? ###
### YOU’RE… ###

…Jeremy Gold…

### LYING TO YOURSELF AGAIN ###
### SUICIDAL IMBECILE, POUNDING ON A FAULT LINE ###

…Violet Harper…

### WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO GET THROUGH TO YOU PRECIOUS? ###
### WHY WOULD I, WHY WOULD I, WHY WOULD I ###
### WANT TO WATCH YOU ###
### DISCONNECT AND SELF-DESTRUCT ###

…Chad Kurtis…

### ONE BULLET AT A TIME ###
### WHAT’S YOUR RUSH NOW? ###
### EVERYONE WILL HAVE HIS DAY TO DIE ###

…Bubba J…

### MEDICATED DRAMA QUEEN ###
### PICTURE-PERFECT NUMB BELLIGERENCE ###

…Lucious Starr…

### NARCISSISTIC DRAMA QUEEN ###
### CRAVING FAME AND ALL ITS DECADENCE ###

…Taboo…

### LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH AGAIN ###
### SUICIDAL IMBECILE, THINK ABOUT IT ###
### PUT IT ON THE FAULT LINE ###

…Emlee Korlin…

### WHAT’LL IT TAKE TO GET THROUGH TO YOU PRECIOUS? ###
### I’M OVER THIS. WHY DO YOU WANNA THROW IT AWAY LIKE THIS? ###
### SUCH A MESS ###
### WHY WOULD I WANT TO WATCH YOU… ###

…Vincent Black…

### DISCONNECT AND SELF-DESTRUCT ###
### ONE BULLET AT A TIME ###
### WHAT’S YOUR RUSH NOW ###
### EVERYONE WILL HAVE HIS DAY TO DIE ###

…Legion…

### LYING TO MY FACE AGAIN ###
### SUICIDAL IMBECILE ###
### THINK ABOUT IT, YOU PUT IT ON A FAULT LINE ###

…Lisa Seldon…

### WHAT’LL IT TAKE TO GET THROUGH TO YOU PRECIOUS? ###
### WHY DO YOU WANNA THROW IT AWAY LIKE THIS ###
### SUCH A MESS ###
### OVER THIS… OVER THIS ###

…Simon Kalis…

### HAVE HIS DAY TO DIE… ###
### DISCONNECT ###
### SELF-DESTRUCT ###

…Larry Gordon…

### DISCONNECT ###
### SELF-DESTRUCT ###

…Rebel Pro logo…

### OVER THIS! ###

“You Are The Joke” begins flashing on the screen as the arena becomes engulfed in purple pyrotechnics above the ring, around the REBELTron and the stage. In the flash of light, we can see a man standing in a purple overcoat with long-green hair with his back to the audience, knife held down by his waste. (You’ve seen the poster! Don’t lie!)

Mikey Massacre: It’s Patient 4479!

As Patient 4479 begins to turn around slowly, the lights go out once more. This time, for just a few seconds. When they come back on, where Patient 4479 was just standing there is now a bald headed-man in a black t-shirt, busted-up blue jeans and leather work boots.

The camera pans in on the purple jacket and green wig at the top of the entrance ramp.

Mikey Massacre: What the –

The man atop the stage stands there with a bit of a smirk on his face, reaching into his pants pocket for a microphone.

Mikey Massacre: Am I the only one that isn’t quite sure what is going on here?

Linzi Martin: Pfft, welcome to my every day life.

The stranger atop the stage speaks.

Unknown Man: All of you look disappointed. You look as though you were expecting someone else. Perhaps this guy!

The unknown man turns and points to the screen of ‘Patient 4479’ in a straightjacket.

Unknown Man: Or maybe him!

The image changes over to Sasquatch.

Unknown Man: How about…

The image shows Jeremy Gold dressed in black high-heels and a red spaghetti-strap dinner dress and wig.

Unknown Man: Or?

The image shows a picture of the grassy knoll.

Unknown Man: Wait a minute…

The unknown man moves in closer to the image.

Unknown Man: Can we zoom in close to the fence line, please?

The image on the screen zooms in as requested.

Unknown Man: HE WAS JUST THERE! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD! I CHECKED IT RIGHT BEFORE I CAME OUT! WHERE DID HE GO!?

The unknown man turns around, head down and shaking.

Unknown Man: Damn it, every time.

Looking back up at the audience.

Unknown Man: Since none of those guys are going to show up this evening, I guess you’ll just have to make due with me.

The unknown man makes his way to the ring.

Mikey Massacre: Who the hell is this guy? Who we thought was Patient 4479 is anything but.

The unknown man climbs into the ring and continues speaking.

Unknown Man: Seriously folks, the very idea that you thought someone would infringe upon copyright laws for the betterment of your entertainment is hysterical. Do you know what it was like dressing up like that every few days for a quick cameo? It was horrible. However, it served its purpose. Everyone of you thought ‘Patient 4479’ was real and you thought he was really coming here. And your reactions, that’s what sold it.

Mikey Massacre: A ruse?

Unknown Man: At first, every one of you were excited by the idea. Then you got bored with it and eventually, it just became annoying. Everything I was hoping it would be. And now that it didn’t play out quite the way you wanted it to, you seem quite saddened. Why is that? — Is it because you were lied to? — No, I’m sure you’ve been lied to all your lives. You should be accustomed to that by now. — Is it because you were wrong? — Better get used to that feeling, because this is only the first night. — No. I think the reason you’re so upset is because you were made to look like a bunch of idiots.

The unknown man points his fingers around the arena, at the announcer table and into the camera.

Unknown Man: Every single one of you, made out to be idiots. How fitting of a pay-per-view title; Prove Your Worth. I’ve just showed everyone associated with Rebel Pro, from the fan base to the front office to the wrestling ring, just how WORTHLESS you really are. Not a single one of you are worth the shit paper I use to wipe my ass with!!

The unknown man reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a piece of wadded up toilet paper, shoving it down the back of his pants and wiping his ass. Pulling the wad back up, he tosses it into the front row of the audience.

Unknown Man: There! Keep it! Don’t say I never gave you anything. — It’s two-ply by the way, so you could share if you want. — How many of you can even afford Charmin two-ply?

Linzi Martin: I can! *raises hand*

Mikey Massacre: It was rhetorical — I think. *raises hand*

Unknown Man: I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you my name.

Mikey Massacre: About time.

Unknown Man: My name is Loren [EXPLETIVE DELETED] Chill!

An eruption of ‘boos’ comes from the crowd and Mikey Massacre goes crazy.

Mikey Massacre: HE CAN’T SAY THAT ON TELEVISION!!!

Loren N. Chill: And while most of the wrestlers in the back are out to prove their best the world has to offer in the ring, my aim is completely different. What that aim is, you’ll just have to figure out on your own.

As Chill begins to exit the ring.

Loren N. Chill: Because if you can’t find the joke…

Chill steps outside of the ring and points to the REBELTron, still flashing “You Are The Joke”. He throws the microphone over his shoulder and makes his way back up the aisle way as “The Outsider [Apocalypse Mix]” by A Perfect Circle fills the arena once more.

Mikey Massacre: I am at a total loss for words right now, ladies and gentlemen. We were all expecting ‘Patient 4479’ and instead we get Loren Chill, who as far as I can tell is — I don’t know what he is.

The camera shows a shot of the arena from the rafters.

Mikey Massacre: Who the fuck is Loren Chill?

Linzi Martin: You don’t think he was that major signing Simon kept hyping up, do you?

Mikey Massacre: Err… Hm.

*****REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship Light Tube Death Match*****
*****Vincent Black versus Lisa Seldon©*****

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our main event of the evening!

The, racked with excitement, begin cheering before the first competitor is called – their excitement lifted further by the state of the arena. The theme for this match, as if you could escape it, is glass, or more specifically light tubes. Hundreds of them line three sides of the ring, tied into the ropes and bundled high in the corners. The one remaining side offers no ropes at all, allowing instead for a straight drop to the floor, where even more bundles of tubes line tables and come wrapped in all manner of shapes and sizes. The stage is set, and the fans are at a fever pitch.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first, the challenger…

“Carbomb” by the Acacia Strain hits as Vincent Black steps out.

Jenny Jersey: Weighing in at 331 pounds, and standing in at 6 feet 11 inches tall…

Black raises his RPW Tag Title in the air, and receives a standing ovation.

Jenny Jersey: Hailing from Glenn Falls, New York… He is one half of the REBEL Pro Tag Team Champions…

Black enters the ring, climbing in right over the top rope.

Jenny Jersey: He is… VINCENT BLAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!

The crowd cheers as he hands off his title to the time keepers for safe keeping.

Jenny Jersey: And now, the champion…

The arena gently sinks into a soft, purple haze. A light guitar gently rocks the speakers and queues up a gentle siren-esque wail.

I watched you change, into a fly
I looked away, you were on fire

Lisa Seldon steps lightly from behind the curtain, slinking through the wash of purple smoke and stepping to the stages edge.

Jenny Jersey: Fighting out of Boston, Massachusetts and weighing in at 125 pounds…

She closes her eyes and lets slip a smile as she lifts her palms up to the sky. Both her title belts are noticeable as she steps from the fog, wrapped one just above the other around her waist, while the rest of her is clothed in red and black chequered Vans’ sneakers, black bell bottom jeans and a white t-shirt, emblazoned with her own logo and name.

I watched a change in you
It’s like you never had wings

She makes a slow descent off the ramp, touching base with a few fans before skipping up onto the apron.

Jenny Jersey: She is the reigning AoWF World Champion and the defending Rebel Pro World Champion… this is… LISA SELDON!

Lisa lands on one knee, allowing her to lean back off the ropes and take a look around the room before slipping through the ropes.

Now you feel so alive
I’ve watched you change

Lisa steps carefully up the ropes, unclips both titles and hoists them high overhead to a rapturous cheer. Black meanwhile looks unfazed and toys with a chair that just happens to have light bulbs taped all across it. Lisa pays him no mind as she soaks in the chairs, before dropping down and settling to her corner. The referee then accepts her belts and carefully passes them off to someone at ringside. Both opponents begin sizing up the fight.

Linzi Martin: I’ve commentated a lot of great matches in my short time with Rebel Pro, but this one has all the makings of a classic. Two eras of Rebel Pro clashing; two of its most definitive champions and two of the most ruthless motherfuckers we’ve ever seen. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s enough glass around this ring to rewall Kibble Palace.

Mikey Massacre: I’m not even going to pretend I know where that is, but I will say that I’ve been looking forward to a match like this for a long time. And in it, I’m predicting a new world champion, one willing to help drive us back toward the way Rebel used to be… and should be again.

Linzi Martin: Bold prediction there, still, if anyone can dethrone Rebel Pro’s longest reigning champion, it’s that man right there. And there’s the bell!

Black rushes forward at the call, swings and catches the air as Lisa rolls under his first shot, jumps back to her feet and darts backwards out the way of his second. Black ruses forward and swings again, only for Lisa to throw herself down and through his legs with a Baseball Slide. Black then stumbles to the ropes and narrowly short of the glass, before turning and eating a Yakuza Kick to the chest that sends him back and crashing through the first tubes of the match, sending a shower of shards from the ring while the smoke plumes upward.

Linzi Martin: And there goes our first shot of the night!

Black grits his teeth and peels himself from the ropes, but he manages to keep hold of his chair, and as Lisa turns her back to him to catch her balance, he falls forward and rips the glass laden chair across her back.

Linzi Martin: And there’s our second! Looks like these two aren’t messing around.

Mikey Massacre: Well yeah. This isn’t some shit PWA title match. This is the Rebel fucking Pro World title.

Lisa succumbs to her knees and then rolls to the outside with Black in hot pursuit. Black then stalks her while taking off his chair, twisting it up and then wrapping it around Lisa’s throat from behind. She tries to turn into it to avoid a choke, but Black holds both ends in one hand and uses it like a collar to lead Lisa across the floor and then send her flying overhead where she crashes down hard to the concrete.

Mikey Massacre: Black showing absolutely no concern for himself as he throws as he takes the fight to Seldon. I kinda like this side of him.

Linzi Martin: He’s going to regret that when the glass starts flying again.

Mikey Massacre: Only if he gets in the way of it.

Black holds his grip on the shirt and uses it to lead her up and then back to the ring which she hits with a thump. Black then rolls in and Lisa is pulled after him, dragged into the centre of the ring and then abandoned as Vincent goes after a broken tube. He finds one with a nice enough point and then pulls Lisa’s head off the mat, sitting her up, dropping in behind with an arm around her throat and then stabbing her in the top of the head three times over before the tube comes apart in his hand.

Linzi Martin: Vincent just stabbing away at the world champion.

Mikey Massacre: Soon to be ex-world champion.

Linzi Martin: Oh really.

Mikey Massacre: Shit yeah! It’s time to bring the belt back to Rebel Pro!

Black then gets Lisa up and whips her to the ropes, only for her to drop with Baseball slide through the gap and end up back out on the floor. Black runs after her and reaches through the ropes to grab her hair, but he misses her snatching up a bundle of tubes and turning to smash them over his head, just missing his face as he manages to duck forward in time. Lisa then throws the remains to the floor and grabs a couple more tubes to take to the ring. Back inside Black falls to his backside and Lisa stands the tubes in front of him, giving her a direct point of impact as she rears back and fires off a Roundhouse Kick that shatters the glass against his chest.

Linzi Martin: And Lisa rips him in half.

Mikey Massacre: I’m surprised she’s even strong enough to break the glass!

Not content, Lisa lifts another two tubes out from the ropes and settles them against his chest once more before sticking them to him with a kick. The glass explodes in little sharps, peeling Vincent’s chest and causing a few points of blood to form. Black then gets to his knees as Lisa comes forward with more glass, only for Black to shrug it aside, push forward and drive Lisa into the ropes with a Spear, crushing her against the glass in the ropes. Vincent then tosses her to the mat and gathers up a handful of tubes of his own, which he then smashes across Lisa’s back, sending her to the mat.

Mikey Massacre: Vincent finally showing that slut what’s up.

Linzi Martin: Little harsh.

Black tosses the remains aside and hauls Lisa to her knees, whereupon he peels off her shirt, revealing a tight pleather crop top that she wears underneath, just to be safe in such occasions, and earning a few hoots and hollers from the fans.

Mikey Massacre: Looks like Vincent wants to show her what pain actually feels like for a change.

Linzi Martin: Pity she wears a top under her shirt. So says I, horrible stereotype lesbian commentator who is about as likeable as an Emily Corlen shit in your toaster.

Black tosses her shirt to some lucky, hopefully not perverted fan before putting a foot against her back and kicking her to the canvas. Vincent then steps through, grinding her chest and now exposed stomach into the various bits of broken glass now starting to fill the ring and even going as far as to lift his other foot off the mat to weigh her down further. Lisa pounds the mat with her fist, prompting the referee to step in and check her, but Lisa blows him off and weathers the pain until Vincent finally steps off. He then grabs her by the hair and shoves her into a corner.

Mikey Massacre: Showing her how a man does it.

Linzi Martin: Because the way she does it isn’t quite good enough.

Mikey Massacre: Not compared to this. Finally someone is stepping up and putting her in her place.

Lisa gets to her knees before Black lunges forward and cracks the side of her face with a knee, knocking her head to one side and cracking it off a tube in the ropes before leaving her in a heap. He then gathers up another big bundle of tubes from across the way and places them against her chest before taking up space in an adjacent corner. The fans cheer as Vincent then throws himself forward, kicks out a leg and rips through the glass, sending an explosion across the side of her face.

Mikey Massacre: HUGE Facewash from the future champ!

Linzi Martin: What’s your problem anyway, you don’t even like Black.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t, but at least he’s real Rebel Pro through and through. Not like high and mighty Lisa fucking Seldon, coming down from the heavens to teach us all how to be superstars. We don’t need fucking media darlings. We need guys like Vincent Black, kicking ass and not giving a fuck about anything else.

Vincent pulls Lisa out by the ankle and then rolls his way into a pin.

1

2

Linzi Martin: Lisa’s safe at two!

Mikey Massacre: I think safe is a bit of a reach. He’s just wearing her down.

Vincent dusts himself off and then pulls Lisa to her feet. Black then hits her with a Back Elbow to lay her up in the corner before heading across the way and picking out another heavy bundle of glass. He then turns, gets Lisa in his sights and charges forward, only for Lisa to push herself out of the corner, kick up her feet and throw up a Shotgun Dropkick that shatters the tubes against his chest and sends him back to the mat.

Linzi Martin: And Lisa fights back with a brutal Dropkick that sends him away.

Mikey Massacre: Reeked of desperation to me. She knows it’s just a matter of time before Vincent finally flattens hers.

Lisa drags herself off the mat and then sets Vincent flat with a kick. He goes down and Lisa gathers up the remains of the glass, throwing it down on his chest and then crushing it between them with a Knee-Tuck Standing Moonsault. She grimaces but bares it, and holds herself on top for a pin.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And Vincent kicks out at two.

Mikey Massacre: That’s it Vinny! Fight your way back.

Lisa staggers up and brushes the glass from her front, only for it to come up in red blotches as blood starts escape her wounds. Lisa shrugs it off and sits Black up, only to put him right back down with a Shin Kick down his spine. Black grits his teeth and rolls away, ending up back out on the free side once more. Lisa let’s him up and then fires with a Baseball Slide, catching him in the back of the head and sending him to the rail. She then urges the fans to move, causing a scatter of bodies as she waits for Black to turn and the fires at him with a dive, only for Vincent to get his hands up and send her overhead into the crowd. The fans cheer as she crashes through the chairs, but Black takes no time to celebrate, and instead pulls a table into play.

Linzi Martin: There’s a lot of glass lain across that table.

Mikey Massacre: Vincent pulling out the big guns!

Black then reaches over the rail and snatches Lisa up in a Front Facelock, where he easily lifts Lisa up for a Vertical Suplex. The fans start a count but he only holds her straight for a second before falling back and crushing the light-tube laden table beneath them, which goes up in a great cloud of glass, dust and splinters.

Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit!

Linzi Martin: Holy shit is right!

The crowd sing on as Vincent pulls himself up and brings Lisa after, both now bleeding profusely. That doesn’t stop him carrying on though, and he tosses her up to the mat before throwing himself on her for the cover.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And the champ saves herself.

Mikey Massacre: Get this shit done, Vincent and bring the belt back home already!

Black pushes Lisa away and then turns to setup another light-tube wrapped table at ringside. He then jumps back into the ring and goes at Lisa with a Double Axe-Handle shot before pulling her into a Standing Headscissors.

Linzi Martin: He’s going for the New Hope!

Mikey Massacre: He really needs to change that fucking name.

Black reaches down but Lisa grabs a leg and drops to her knees, preventing him getting her into the air. Black instead steps back and drops a fist into her back before standing her up and into an Irish Whip. Lisa however holds on, turns and throws up a leg to smash him in the side of the head with Roundhouse Kick, instantly sinking him to a knee. Lisa staggers back but stays up and then steps forward to tear a knee through his face, sending him to the canvas. Lisa then falls into a cover.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And Black pulls out the escape again.

Lisa pulls herself out of the sticky mess they’re quickly becoming and grabs another few tubes out of the ropes. She the lines them up together and pulls Vincent up to all fours above him. Lisa then puts a foot on the back of his head.

Linzi Martin: Curb Stomp!

And drives it down, shattering the hollow tubes against his forehead, much to the enjoyment of the fans who continue cheering her on. Vincent kicks his feet but soon settles when Lisa puts a foot in his ribs and rolls him to his back.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And Vincent Black makes it two yet again!

Lisa pulls herself up and into the ropes, sliding out another two tubes as she waits for him to stand. She then rushes forward with the tubes outstretched and buries them into his chest with a kick that sends him across the way. Not to be out done though, Vincent pulls free some glass of his and swings back, shattering it across the top of Lisa’s head and sending her away. Lisa then returns once more, burying another glass filled kick into his stomach and prompting Vincent to hulk up again and rattle her over the head with another tube shot of his own which sends her to a knee.

Linzi Martin: And now they’re really laying into each other!

Mikey Massacre: Don’t duel with her. Put her the fuck down already.

Black stumbles back into the ropes as he waits for Lisa to stand, only to watch as she pulls herself to her feet, grabs another bundle of glass and drives it into his chest on the end of a kick. The fans jump to their feet and Vincent does the same, grabbing another handful of tubes and rushing her again.

Linzi Martin: Swing and a miss!

Lisa ducks the shot and lets the glass shatter against the mat. She then grabs some more tubes of her own and turns but Black is already waiting, and as Lisa gets the tubes up, he pounces forward and rips through them with a huge right hand.

Mikey Massacre: Motherfucking Haymaker! And he wipes her out.

Vincent stumbles back with his hand a mess. Lisa meanwhile falls into the ropes, weeping glass and blood and barely able to stand. Vincent shakes it out his hand while pulling Lisa out of the ropes with the other. He then pulls her in to a knee in the stomach and secures a Gutwrench. Lisa tries to kick free but he barely gives her a second before he tosses her into the air, spins her around and then fires her back into the canvas, sending a spray of glass up off the mat with the force.

Linzi Martin: Huge Aeroplane Spin Gutwrench Powerbomb thing!

Mikey Massacre: Cover! Finish her!

Black drops to his knees on top of her.

1

2

Linzi Martin: No! Lisa kicks out at two!

Black pulls himself off of Lisa and then grabs another bundle of tubes from the corner and holds them high above his head to force a reaction from the fans. Lisa however manages to pull herself to her knees and takes him down with a Legsweep. Vincent then falls to his back and Lisa gets up, jumps into the air and coils up her legs, bringing her full weight down on top of him with a Double Stomp and bursting the glass against his chest.

Linzi Martin: Huge Double Stomp from the champ! And look at the blood fly!

Lisa crashes straight through Black and then drops into him for a cover.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And he’s out at two!

Mikey Massacre: Stop pissing around!

Lisa fights her way off him and stumbles into the corner for another thick bundle of tubes that she sets up across the middle turnbuckle. Lisa then turns back to Vincent and dodges a Clothesline. Black falls and almost collides with the glass, only to save himself with the ropes. It doesn’t stop Lisa getting the jump on him though, as she throws her knees into the back of his head and smashes him face first into the glass.

Linzi Martin: Oh! She might have just ripped his face off!

Mikey Massacre: She weighs about 100 pounds. How much impact can that even be!

Lisa drops behind him and pulls Black into a modified School Boy Roll-Up.

Linzi Martin: Oyster Shell! She’s got him tight!

1

Mikey Massacre: Kick out!

2

Linzi Martin: No! The ref calls it two! He’s still in.

Lisa pushes Black away with disgust and drops out of the ring to gather up some supplies. The fans are then roused as she returns with what can best be described as a light tube log cabin, stacked four tubes high on each side. She carefully pushes it to the centre of the ring and then hangs Black over it on all flours before hitting the ropes behind him.

Linzi Martin: He’s going through!

Mikey Massacre: Move you stupid piece of shit.

Lisa kicks off his back and brings her feet down with a Double Stomp, but Black steps back and let’s her land on the mat, before grabbing her around the waist and tossing her straight up into the air.

Linzi Martin: What strength!

Mikey Massacre: She doesn’t weigh shit. That’s like tossing a plastic bag in the wind.

Lisa finds herself on his shoulders and throws a few fists to get free, but Vincent steps forward, pushes her up and then sits out, bringing her face first down into a mess of tubes that that burst across her front.

Mikey Massacre: Electric Chair Drop! And that bitch is toast!

Vincent struggles but rolls her onto her back.

1

2

Mikey Massacre: 3!

Linzi Martin: No, it was only a 2 count!

Mikey Massacre: It was 3!

Black pulls himself up with the ref and threatens to knock him out, but the ref stands his ground and waves two fingers in his face. Black then pushes the man to the floor. He then lifts Lisa to her knees and points down to the table at ringside.

Mikey Massacre: Now we’re talking.

Vincent Black hunkers down and brings Lisa up onto his shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry before crossing the mat. Black moves to the edge of the ring and prepares to jump, but Lisa swings a knee up into his jaw, catching him off guard and allowing her to slip from his grasp. Lisa lands behind him and waits for him to turn, where she sinks a kick into his gut to bend him forward before stepping back and lashing out with a Superkick, blasting him just under the jaw and sending him stumbling back to the edge.

Linzi Martin: He’s teetering! He’s gonna fall!

Black saves himself from plummeting and staggers a step forward to safety, but Lisa has other ideas and charges forward, brings both her knees up and crashes them through his chest, sending both of them over the edge. The crowd scream as both competitors fall from the ring and Black hits the table with an explosion of glass at his back before the wood splinters beneath. Lisa herself rides it through, sending him through to the floor before she spills forward off him to safety.

Linzi Martin: My God! Vincent Black has just been destroyed.

Mikey Massacre: What the fuck is he doing? He’s a Rebel Pro icon and this 125 pound whore is ripping the shit out of him.

Linzi Martin: Well she is the longest reigning champion in Rebel Pro history.

Mikey Massacre: She’s fighting the motherfucking Phoenix and a brain dead Bubba J! She’ll run forever if Black doesn’t stop her, but he’s too busy lying on his face eating glass and inhaling poisonous fumes!

The two are them are a mess at this point, wounded and bleeding profusely all over. Lisa pulls herself up with the rail and touches the top of her head where a deep gash has been building through the night. The rest of her doesn’t look much better, with blood dripping down in a trail down her forehead and the rest of her wracked with cuts. Black doesn’t look an better, smeared in his own blood, and as he lifts his head its clear there’s a deep slip straight across it from his last fall. Never the less, Lisa waits for him to rise before throwing a punt kick straight between his eyes and snapping his head back. Lisa then grabs the nearest glass thing and breaks it across his chest for good measure.

Linzi Martin: All finesse is tossed aside and now Lisa is just lighting him up.

Mikey Massacre: Funny, she spends all this time pretending she’s above everyone here. Well now that entitled, elitist bitch gets a chance to feel what it’s like to be in a fight for your life.

Lisa clears the resounding area of things and sets about a little building project consisting of two bundles of tubes placed so far apart with a few more lain across them in a bridge. Lisa then picks one more item out of a pile and holds it high for everyone to see.

Mikey Massacre: It’s…

Linzi Martin: It’s a giant light tube Star of David.

Mikey Massacre: But why?

Linzi Martin: I guess it was so Vincent wouldn’t feel left out.

Mikey Massacre: Wait, what?

Linzi Martin: Well, he’s Vincent Black, isn’t he. He’s Jewish.

Mikey Massacre: …

Linzi Martin: Isn’t that how they do it? With colour names?

Mikey Massacre: … No it’s alloys, you thick shit!

Linzi Martin: Not always!

Mikey Massacre: Name me one other famous Jew who’s name is just a colour.

Linzi Martin: Marina Blue.

Mikey Massacre: Go fuck yourself.

Jewy or not, it’s big and so Lisa adds it to the top of the pile before feeding Vincent in with a kick. She then sets up and jumps for a Guillotine Facebuster, but Black stands up through it, catching her other leg in the process and letting her hang from his shoulders. Black than drags Lisa into the air and takes a running leap toward the glass.

Mikey Massacre: The New Hope!

Lisa holds on tight but it’s a pointless gesture as Vincent points the back of her head into the glass and hammers it through to the floor. Ripping a further deep gash through it before cracking her off the floor, and letting her fall dead in his hands.

Mikey Massacre: Go for the pin, you fuck! End this!

Vincent slumps back, blood pumping from every cut and his eyes starting to glaze, but never the less he fights through the pain, pushing her legs back and stacking her for the pin.

1

2

3!

Linzi Martin: No!!

Mikey Massacre: Oh what the hell!?

The referee’s hand never hit! She’s still in it!

Linzi Martin: This is some bullshit!

Black falls back in defeat as Lisa kicks free to safety. The fans meanwhile are on their feet, stomping, banging the rails and cheering both competitors on. With the crowd behind him, Black is drawn back to his feet.

Linzi Martin: This is insane. These two are going to kill each other.

Mikey Massacre: As long as that mouthy cunt drops the belt I don’t care how it happens. It’s time for a change back to the old ways, and if Vincent has to be the guy to do it, then I’ll live with it.

Lisa is finally peeled off the floor, exposing her back which, for a moment, is stuck solid to the floor. Off the ground her back is exposed to the camera and every stomach turns at the sight, her back raw, awash in blood and the skin even starting to peel. Black refuses to let up though and throws her into the ring before securing some more goods. He then pushes in a few more items, namely a few more bails of tubes a table and one more giant bundle of fluorescent glass, strapped together in a giant cross.

Linzi Martin: Oh this is just getting ridiculous.

Lisa gets to her knees before Vincent cracks another tube off the back of her head to lay her out. He then sets up the table and layers it in every tube he can find, including the giant ominous cross as its centre piece. He then turns to Lisa and pulls her to her feet.

Mikey Massacre: New Hope again. And now surely it’s time to put her away.

Black raises his fists over his head and soaks in a cheer, before finally dragging Lisa up and over his shoulder. He then charges at the table, only to feel her slip out and fall behind. She lands shaky on her feet but manages to catch him on the turn and fires forward with her heel smashing into his chest. Lisa then catches the back of his head and pulls him forward, right into a knee that splits his jaw.

Linzi Massacre: Muay-Thai Clinch! And this is where she put him out last time!

Mikey Massacre: Shake her the fuck off! She’s half your size!

Lisa rattles him with one from the right and then a second from the left that opens up a further gash, but he shrugs her off and catches her next shot, allowing him to drive her back into the ropes and destroying any glass left hanging amongst them. Lisa winces at the pain and throws out an elbow to force him back and allow her to scrape down the ropes, catching all manner of flakes and shards before she hits the floor.

Mikey Massacre: It’s time to end this shit!

Black stumbles to the table, but grabs the first taped up bundle at hand and turns, right into the path of Lisa Seldon, who jumps up, catches them with her heel and shatters them against the side of his head.

Linzi Martin: Heads Will Roll!

Lisa falls in a heap as Black drops forward, stiff as a board. Lisa then throws herself across the mat and pushes him onto his back.

Linzi Martin: Lisa falls into the cover!

Mikey Massacre: Don’t you die on me you fat fuck!

1

2

Mikey Massacre: Kickout!

Linzi Martin: It’s just two! It’s just two!

The fans are beside themselves and whipped into a frenzy as the referee frantically waves the match on. Lisa meanwhile slumps to her knees and pushes a thick wet mess of blood soaked hair from her eyes, visibly stumped as to what to do next. The fans spur her on though and Lisa pounds the mat, causing the fans to take up the rhythm and drive her to fight on.

Linzi Martin: The atmosphere in here is insane! It’s an old and new Rebel Pro collision and the fans don’t know who to pick. It’s deafening.

Mikey Massacre: Then these must be the new fans, because the people who were here when I was coming up woulda driven her and her PWA shit out into the street.

Linzi Martin: She’s not even a PWA wrestler! She’s Rebel Pro!

Mikey Massacre: She’s about as Rebel Pro as you are.

Lisa throws herself into the ropes and uses them for stability as she fights back up. She then looms over Vincent with a Double Underhook and pulls him to his knees, where upon she fires a sickening flurry of knees of her own into his chest. Vincent eats five or six before he is finally able to push her off, but he succumbs to the blows and falls forward, allowing Lisa to rip through his face with a kick as she comes off the ropes. Black falls into the ropes and ends up on his feet, only to fall forward into a kick that doubles him over. Lisa then grabs some nearby glass, holds it up against his chest and then sticks it through him with the point of her knee to send him to the corner. Not content there though, Lisa rushes forward, throws up her leg and shatters the side of his jaw with a Yakuza Kick.

Linzi Martin: Horrendous flurry of moves from Lisa! And the fans are firmly behind her.

Mikey Massacre: Then they’re all sycophantic motherfuckers with no real knowledge or respect for the guys who got us here.

Lisa struggles to free her leg until Black helps her out, pushing her up and across the ring. Lisa fights through though and comes up standing, allowing her to block a kick and spin him to his back while she does the same, coming round and rattling his skull with a Roaring Elbow to the back of his head. Black falls into the ropes again but comes back with an Elbow before turning and firing off a few quick body blows. He then catches an arm and tries to reel her in for a Clothesline, but Lisa ducks under and comes up behind him, where she drives her heel into the back of his knee to take him down. Lisa then grabs another bundle of fluorescent lights from the table, hoists them up high and then brings them down to bare, shattering across the back off his head.

Linzi Martin: Lisa is laying waste to the ring!

Glass and fog flies in every direction, but Lisa isn’t done, and grabs up yet more and more glass, shattering it all across his head. Black falls to all fours as Lisa runs wild, picking up everything she can and blasting him with it until there’s nothing left with wreckage. She then finds herself with the glass cross, matching her in size and earning a cheer of it’s own, but instead of attacking she puts it aside and pulls Black up onto the table. She then fires off a wicked series of forearms to soften him up, before turning with the light tube cross and laying it across his chest.

Linzi Martin: She’s heading for the ropes!

Lisa collapses into the corner, but wastes no time in throwing herself up to the second before clambering to the third. Black is already starting to stir, forcing Lisa to take her chance and leap up; pulling her knees in beneath as she flies high into the air.

Linzi Martin: Horror Pop!

Mikey Massacre: Move dammit!

Lisa lands through an ungodly sound, falling knees first and tearing through everything between her and the mat, sending hunks of glass into Black’s while cracking him against the wood. Shards of glass blast back and catch her about the face, but Lisa drives through, and breaks him against the mat. As Vincent hits the mat so do her knees, and she doesn’t so much move as she does slump with a cover as the ref rushes in.

1

Mikey Massacre: No!

2

Mikey Massacre: Kick out you useless piece of shit!

3!

Linzi Martin: And that’s three! She’s done it! She retains.

The cheer goes up at the count of three, and Lisa, finally finished, falls to her back.

Announcer: Here is your winner… And STILL Rebel Pro World Champion… LISA SELDON!!!

Mikey tosses his water bottle at the ring in disgust at the decision. The fans meanwhile are a buzz, and a chant of her name rings across the arena.

Linzi Martin: Well you can pout all you want, but you can’t deny when it came to the night, she was the better wrestler.

Mikey Massacre: She beat fucking Vincent Black, and now she’s going to celebrate like she just won the fucking Superbowl.

Lisa pulls herself up with the ropes and tosses her hand into the air. The referee then hands off her belt and steps aside as Lisa jumps up into the neatest corner and tosses it up high to the approval of the fans.

Mikey Massacre: I mean look at her; she’s 125 pounds! We’re trying to take the ethics we built on and turn this into one of the biggest companies in the world, and yet we’ve got this embarrassment on top. We have a 125 pound HEAVYWEIGHT champion!

Linzi Martin: She’s the best wrestler we have.

Mikey Massacre: Beating fucking Vincent Black and Bubba J doesn’t make you the best and it certainly doesn’t mean you deserve to be the World fucking Champion. This is the best company in the world and yet this tiny, stupid bitch is making us look like a laughing stock! We built this place on a foundation of hardcore, ass kicking action, and yet our best guys can’t even seem to get past this pair of tits attached to a world title!

Mikey punches the announce desk.

Mikey Massacre: Fuck this shit.

Mikey throws down his headset and storms away. Meanwhile Lisa leaves one corner and takes over another, throwing up her belt and soaking in the admiration of the fans. What she doesn’t see then is Mikey Massacre sliding into the ring with a florescent light in hand, and as Lisa jumps off the ropes and turns, she walks right into a shot from Mikey Massacre, who breaks the light across her face.

Linzi Martin: Oh my God! He just hit her in the eye!

Lisa goes down holding her face and Mikey sets about her, dropping kicks any space he can find before snatching up the chair from earlier and burying it across her back. Lisa goes down and Mikey drops it again and again, stopping only once to push the referee aside before cracking the belt across her head and tossing it to the mat.

Linzi Martin: Mikey has just gone insane!

Referee’s flood the ring and force Mikey to back off, they then crowd Lisa and try to help her up, only for Mikey to come back and start tossing bodies aside. He then snatches what must be the very last bundle of tubes and lays them across Lisa’s front before lifting the chair again and making for the ropes. Referee’s flood in again but they’re too late, as Mikey comes off the ropes with the chair at his chest and explodes the glass against Lisa with a Frogsplash.

Linzi Martin: Mikey destroys Lisa with the Sellout! He’s going nuts on her.

Mikey rolls away, clutching his front and breathing hard, but a smile finally creeps across his stomach as he watches the referees swarm the downed opponent. Mikey then clambers back to his feet and looks down from Lisa to Vincent, scrunches up his face and then spits in his face. The majority of the fans are shocked into silence, while the rest let him know how they feel, turning on him and showering him in hate. Mikey shrugs it off though and turns to the back, leaving both competitors down and in his wake.

Linzi Martin: My God, I don’t know what’s gotten into him.

One team helps Black out of the ring while the other helps up Lisa. The camera moves in and it’s clear that the area around her eye is cut bad while the rest of her remains torn to shreds. They move in closer still to pick up some sound, and just manage to catch Lisa telling one of the referees that she can’t see out of her right eye.

Linzi Martin: Well I guess she’s the winner tonight, but she certainly doesn’t look it now.

Lisa is helped from the ring and to the back, but still stops once at the top of the ramp to turn and hoist her title into the air.

*****The Game Has Changed*****

Just as Lisa turns around to exit, “Knights of Cydonia” by Muse hits over the speakers. The REBELTron goes black, the lights go out except for a single spotlight at the entrance itself where Lisa is. She looks up, still fucked up and unable to even see clearly.

Linzi Martin: No way… No way. The mystery man! The big signing! It’s… It’s…

The name burns into the REBELTron, and the crowd goes NUTS.

F.L.Y.N.N.

Jamie Flynn steps out, the arena is thunderous in their reaction.

Linzi Martin: Holy SHIT! JAMIE FLYNN IS IN REBEL PRO?!

Flynn holds up neatly stapled stack of papers. The camera zooms in to find it is, indeed, a REBEL Pro contract. Lisa breathes heavily, staring across at him. Flynn holds up the contract for her to see, smirking as he points to the gold on her shoulders.

Linzi Martin: What the FUCK! Mikey Massacre goes nuts! Lisa somehow, some way manages to overcome a relentless Vinny Black and now this… Jamie fucking Flynn in REBEL Pro! WHOA!

Lisa raises her World titles in the air, strongly and confidently as she stares back at him.

Linzi Martin: We’re out of time… My god. For Mikey Massacre… This is Linzi Martin! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

We fade to one last shot of both Flynn and Seldon staring each other down as we fade to the REBEL Pro logo…

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Virgil Keenan defeats Bobby Lee & Jimmy Henderson, thanfully the alien invasion of Earth has yet to happen.. For now.
Jaice Wilds defeats Lucious Starr as PWA’s World Champ Panzadise fucks shit up
Legion defeats Gabe Shelley and the world is a darker place for it.
Matt Stone defeats Suukya, after Maverick gets himself a fancy replacement. Who dies.
Case Filed Rockets defeat Style Clash to become NOC to Tag Titles in a controversial finish!
Violet Harper defeats J.T. Whiplash, but only narrowly avoiding being dethroned. Sexy Time Continues!
Lisa Seldon defeats Vincent Black in a crazy wild death match with light tubes and then Mikey Massacre fucks everyone and everything up with Jamie Flynn popping in at the end of it all to let us know, hey, he’s here and you’re probably fucked.

THE BLOAD SOAKED EDITION!
(Kinda like every show, really. Stop being a smart ass)

*****This Is Why We Can‘t Have Nice Things*****

We fade in following the intro, with Kalis sitting at his desk, his face buried in his hands. There is a shiny metal briefcase on his desk which we take note of.

Simon Kalis: I let you run the show for one night, Jer. One damn night.

Kalis looks up and holds up a local paper from Chattanooga.

Simon Kalis: And the world implodes in on itself.

Gold sighs, as he sits across from Simon. Rupert the Kangaroo is eating a piece of lettuce, nodding.

Rupert The Kangaroo: *Making kangaroo noises, whatever that is.*

Jeremy Gold: Yeah, I know Rupert.

Kalis rolls his eyes.

Simon Kalis: What do I do with you?

Jeremy Gold: Give me an assistant.

Kalis spins in his chair. We imagine if he had hair, he’d pull it out.

Simon Kalis: You’re supposed to be my assistant.

Jeremy Gold: I thought I was the General Manager! Almost the whole time, you’ve never let me generally manage anything.

Rupert The Kangaroo hisses.

Simon Kalis: No, because you’re an idiot. If I actually left you to your own devices, Bobby Lee would threaten you and get a World title shot every week.

Gold scratches his chin, and nods.

Jeremy Gold: True, but…

Kalis reaches under his desk and hands Gold a baseball bat.

Jeremy Gold: Wha… What’s this for?

Kalis points to the door.

Simon Kalis: Your match. Get the fuck out of here, bro. And try not to shit yourself this time. We get complaints from the other wrestlers that the ring smells like urine and feces after you’re in it.

Gold quivers, biting his bottom lip as he gets up.

Jeremy Gold: What about Inferno? Where’s Inferno?

Kalis shrugs.

Simon Kalis: Don’t worry, I got you a new tag team partner.

Jeremy Gold: You did?! IS IT YOU?!

Kalis looks himself over, decked out in a tailor made Brioni suit.

Simon Kalis: Does it look like it’s me?

Gold sighs, and Rupert pats him on the back as Gold gets up to leave. He stops, a light bulb over his head we imagine.

Jeremy Gold: Is my tag partner Rupert?!

The kangaroo lights a cigarette then looks up surprised.

Simon Kalis: Are you kidding me? The kangaroo? No.

Gold sighs, and walks out as Simon taps the metal briefcase as the door shuts behind Gold.

Female Voice: I’m ready.

Kalis turns his head to the bathroom as the door opens, and a fairly fat woman in all black steps out. Her face is covered by a mask, with a hood over her head. But one things for certain… She’s fat as fuck.

Simon Kalis: Good luck, sweety. Try not to let him die.

She giggles as she steps passed Simon and nods.

Masked Woman: I won’t.

*****Style Clash versus Golden Inferno*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following is a First Blood Special Tag Team Match!

“Born This Way” by Lady GaGa hits.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first!

Gold steps out from backstage with some trepidation as his rainbow themed light laser show goes off. He’s decked out in an Adidas track suit as he jogs to the ring, his trusty Red Bull in hand which he quickly chugs.

Jenny Jersey: He is the General Manager of REBEL Pro… JEREMY GOLD!!!

Gold slides into the ring, feeling pumped from his Red Bull and cigarette diet as he hops around the ring, throwing his arms up bravely. The music stops, and “It’s Raining Men” by Gerri Halliwell hits over the speakers.

Jenny Jersey: His tag partner!

A bunch of shirtless yet buff looking men, run out onto the stage and begin dancing and gyrating. The female fans in the crowd are loving it, but the male fans are all “WTF”…

Jenny Jersey: She stands in at 5’8 tall, weighing in at not actually 776 pounds…

The mysterious woman jumps out, grinding against one of the men as she bobs her head to the theme.

Jenny Jersey: She hails from somewhere in Illinois!

Gold is dancing around and winking at the guys on stage who try to ignore his weird ass as he twirls his arms in the air, happy at the thought of the sky raining men.

Mikey Massacre: Dear god…

Linzi Martin: What a GREAT way to open up Aggression! YEAH! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY! IT’S GONNA START RAINING MEN!

Mikey Massacre: …

Linzi Martin: SING WITH ME! IT’S RAINING MEN!!!!! COME ON MIKEY!

Linzi seems to be enjoying the eccentric entrance.

Jenny Jersey: Making her triumphant return to the REBEL Pro…

Mikey Massacre: Wait a god damn minute.

The woman rips her hoody off to reveal a tight fitting sports bra, and her mask drops… The crowd jeers in terror as the sports bra does everything in its power not to rip apart at this obese womans massive rolls and sagging breasts.

Jenny Jersey: THE RUBY VAGINE… EMLEE KORLIN!!!!

Mikey Massacre: Oh my god…

She runs down to the ring, though has to stop in order to make sure she doesn’t run out of breath. She begns ripping off her black sweat pants to reveal some booty shorts which cannot contain the jowls and flaps of her tubby ass as she hops and skips around the ring slapping the hands of the fans she passes. Gold is running in circles, so happy as Ruby Vagine hops up onto the apron and bends over very sexually, slapping her ass before climbing into the ring and joining Jeremy Gold in an awkward dance. A few fans at ringside puke in disgust.

Linzi Martin: Whoa! I did not need to see that!

Mikey Massacre: I don’t think anyone did, Linzi.

The party ends though as “Love and War” by Drowning Pool hits.

Jenny Jersey: And their opponents! Introducing first… He hails from Boulder, Colorado…

Taboo steps out onto the stage, the fans going nuts as they bare witness to a legend in the flesh.

Jenny Jersey: He is TABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Taboo shoots his arms up, the crowd going nuts as Jeremy Gold grabs onto some fat flab from Korlin and cries into it.

An old fashioned movie countdown begins over the REBELTron…

3.…

2.…

1.……

Pyros EXPLODE all over the stage and around the ring.

Jenny Jersey: And fighting out of Durham, North Carolina… “THE SHOW” Chad Kurtis!!!!

Kurtis joins Taboo atop the stage and both men look intense, focused and above all else ready as they make their way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: Together, they are…. STYLE CLASH!!!

They bum rush the ring and open up a can of whoop ass on Gold and Korlin.

DING DING DING

Taboo grabs onto Korlin and hits her with a belly to belly suplex to the canvas as Chad Kurtis implant DDTs Gold hard into the canvas. Kurtis with a moonsault right onto Gold as Taboo lifts Korlin up again. Taboo with a snap suplex, the impact shaking the ring. Kurtis has Gold in the corner, Gold is begging for his dear life as Kurtis gives him a few good knife edge chops across the chest.

Mikey Massacre: Style Clash is BACK in the business baby, and what a beat down they’re laying on the new Golden Inferno tandem!

Linzi Martin: Poor Jeremy, he’s already crying.

Gold begins SCREAMING AS LOUD AS HE CAN at Chad Kurtis. Kurtis backs away, holding his ears and Gold begins slapping him silly with both hands to no real effect. Kurtis just stands there taking the slaps and scratches, unimpressed as Taboo just mashes Korlin out with a German suplex.

Linzi Martin: I feel bad for Emily Corlen.

Mikey Massacre: You mean Emlee Korlin!

Linzi Martin: No, I meant Corlen. This Korlin bitch is obviously an underhanded shot at The Emerald Phoenix.

Mikey Massacre: Yeah, wonder what makes you think that.

Gold flips himself over the top rope to the outside and begins running. Kurtis springboards himself off the ropes with an asai moonsault and catches Gold perfectly on the outside. Korlin goes for a heavy fist to Taboo, but Taboo dodges and grabs onto her but his grip slips off the greasy fat womans flab. Taboo grabs her again, Northern Lights suplex! He immediately grabs her leg and locks in the Taboo Squeeze!!! His grip keeps slipping off her as Crisco expunges itself via sweat from her body, and she’s tapping out.

Mikey Massacre: Tonight, everything is first blood.

Linzi Martin: Yep!

Kurtis whips Jeremy Gold into the barricade which separates fans from the action. Gold can be seen begging a fan to save him but the five year old child just giggles. Kurtis pulls gold back and then cracks his head over the metal post. Kurtis goes under the ring, inside Korlin is screaming for Raptor Jesus to save her as Taboo finally lets go of the hold. Kurtis grabs a bat from under the ring. He swings! Gold ducks! It splinters! He swings again, and now it catches Gold across the forehead!

Mikey Massacre: GOLD IS BLEEDING! His team has one minute to make either Taboo or Kurtis bleed!

Gold begins crying as he bleeds all over the place. Meanwhile, The Ruby Vagine is free of Taboo’s non-stop suplexing her fat jowly ass to hell. She begins to climb the turnbuckles, the ring is creaking. Kurtis steps back on the outside, shaking his head at Taboo who does his best to size up the flying elephant. The counter is at 30 seconds.

Mikey Massacre: No… No… DON’T DO IT!

Emlee Korlin jumps off with a body splash, but Taboo catches her… BIG BANG THEORY!!! THE RING FUCKING IMPLODES UPON IMPACT!!! She is DONE. Taboo is like WHOA! Kurtis is shocked! Gold is crying! The counter hits 5!

4…

3.…

2.…

1…

DING DING DING

Kurtis keeps beating on Gold with the splintered bat, as Gold tries to escape. Korlin is bleeding from the impact, or it might be period blood. Taboo is careful as he steps out of the now crushed ring.

Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match… Taboo and Chad Kurtis… STYLE CLASH!!!!

The ref raises their hands and the crowd cheers the violence, but now ring technicians need to rebuild the ring which will surely cause a delay.

Mikey Massacre: First Hardcore Entertainment dethrone Seldon and Corlen. Then Case and Logan show their allegiances, forming Case Filed Rockets.

Linzi Martin: Now Style Clash here in REBEL Pro.

Mikey Massacre: The tag team division in REBEL Pro is on fire.

We see one more shot of the triumphant Taboo and Kurtis as we fade commercials.

*****Support The AoWF!*****

There’s all kinds of flashes of violence, culminating with Bogard winning the Grizzly Beer title!

Voiceover: The Pioneer Wrestling Association proudly presents Sunday Night Rampage, every Sunday! Check your local listings and catch such super awesome stars as The New Age Panzies, Matthew Engel, Vic Wagner, Thomas Manchester Black, that boss status figure Cody Bogard and more!

PWA SUNDAY NIGHT RAMPAGE! COOL!

There’s sparkles, flowers and other weird things… Then we see footage of Wood getting stapled in the face by Johnny Maverick.

Voiceover: Do you like things?! How about things being broken over the faces of people?! Or moose? Or car rides through an arena with weird eWo people trying to hang you from the rafters?! If so, check out Victory Wrestling’s Television every Thursday night! It’s awesome, and the REBEL Pro boss is on there doing silly things! You get to see stars like Anna Mathews and her haunted vagina! Johnny Maverick break Woods face! Marvin Wood break Johnny Mavericks legs! Teresa Quaranta! Can’t forget her! And other awesome people! Like Phoenix!

We see Phoenix with the CCTV Title.

Voiceover: But fuck that guy!

VICTORY! TELEVISION! YEAH!

It fades now again… We see things burning, the BWF World title being destroyed and bang!

Voiceover: Sometimes when all the dust has settled… all that’s left is Animosity! And that’s where you’ll find some of the awesome stars in BWF! From the Buffalo Butcher Finale, to Emily Corlen and Anton Chase. No one can forget the beautiful Abbie Edwards, and the legendary BWF US Champion Corey Lazarus! Check them out and more weekly Thursdays on BWF Thursday Night Animosity!

BWF ANIMOSITY! YOU KNOW IT!

We fade back to the arena now as…

*****Damn, I Had To Piss*****

Camera cuts backstage where we find Bubba J walking a bit unsteadily, but not because he’s drunk, but because he’s looking for something.

Bubba J: Damn, I’ve got to take a piss!”

He comes up on Simon’s car and spies it like its the best damn toilet imaginable.

Bubba J: This’ll fix that black sumbitch.”

J tries to open up the door, but of course its locked, but Bubba J has the master key. After looking around for a moment, he lifts his leg and kicks out the driver side window and unlocks the door. Opening the door, he looks around again as we hear an unzipping sound and his pants drop slightly and a sound of pissing pleasure comes from his throat.

Bubba J: Yeah, that feels good.”

He continues looking around and as he does so, he pisses all over the dash, the seat, floorboard, and side of the car.

Bubba J: Damn, I had to piss like a mofo.”

He finishes up, the yellow piss soaking into the driver side seat as Bubba J zips up and heads inside the building.

*****J.T. Whiplash versus Lucious Starr*****

Linzi Martin: Well, at least the ring is finally fixed!

“Fuck You” hits up in the speakers as freaking mutated sharks with freaking laser beams are attached to their freakin’ heads. The freaking laser beamed covered sharks begin to shoot the freaking laser beams at freaking angry mutated sea bass with soggy blow darts attached to their mutated freaking heads. Lucious Starr walks out, looking up at the Rebel-tron in disgust.

Jenny Jersey: Since Lucious couldn’t be bothered with creating an entrance for himself here in Rebel Pro, here ya go! Oh and here is Lucious Starr.

The lights go out as an image of a copperhead slithering down a dirt road airs on the REBEL-Tron as the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play with the snake slithering down the path. The snake then coils up in position to strike as the bagpipe intro ends and “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system as red, white, and blue lighting goes off throughout the arena. Just then, a spot-light shines on J.T. Whiplash in his wrestling attire, holding a Rebel flag as the fans erupt in cheers. J.T. then waves the Rebel flag in the air hollering as he does so. He then puts the flag over his shoulder as he makes his way to the ring slowly, tagging hands with as many fans as he can get to as he gets to the end of the ramp-way, pausing as he waves his Rebel flag around again before walking to the ring steps and sticking his Rebel flag in the ring post as he steps over the middle rope and climbs in the ring, shouting and hollering for the fans to cheer as he climbs up each second turn-buckle and lets out a loud “YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAWWW!!!” as he gives the crowd a bull-horn sign before he paces back and forth in the ring like a pissed-off hyena as he runs against the ropes a couple of times before going back to pacing as the music dies down.

Ding Ding

JT comes out right handing Lucious Starr right in the damn face, rocking it back on his neck. But give Starr credit, his head bounces back into JT’s face sending him back more out of surprise than anything else. Starr presses his advantage with a right punch faint, but jabs him right in the damn mouth with a left hook sending JT’s head spinning to the side; Starr completes the mini combo with a boot to the midsection and a whip into the ropes. JT comes back, Starr lowering his head for a back body, JT nails him right in the fucking face with his steel toed boot that causes Starr to stand up and look a bit woozy; JT sending him over to the concrete with a clothesline. JT steps through the ropes, double axe handle smash onto Starr before pulling him up.

Mikey Massacre: This match is a full on brawl!

Linzi Martin: You expect anything different from Rebel Pro?

Starr with a double fisted nut shot halts JT’s offense and the whip into the ringpost brings the first blood of the match. JT spins around, blood coming from his nose that managed to smash full on into the post.

Jenny Jersey: JT Whiplash has one minute to make Lucious Starr to bleed or he will lose the match.

JT falls down to one knee, Lucious Starr nailing him with an uppercut swinging steel chair effectively busting his nose open worse and causing the stitches on his forehead to bust open and more blood to ooze out.

Mikey Massacre: A bit of an unfair match for both men; now all Lucious has to do is run away and he wins.

Linzi Martin: He will never do that, he’s way to proud.

Starr holds JT’s throat down with the back of the steel chair as the minute ticks down to forty-five seconds; JT’s face turning a dark shade of red. Lucious points down to JT and mocks him in front of the crowd as JT tries to get the chair off his throat. Lucious continues to mock him by shoving the chair down harder and getting right in his face. JT nails him with a meaty right, sending Starr falling backwards and the chair off his throat. The timer is down to thirty-five seconds as JT struggles to catch his breath and make Starr bleed before the inute is up. Starr comes back with a running boot, but JT is ready for it, catching the kick and sending Starr into the railing strictly out of instinct. The time is now down to twenty-seven seconds as JT is still struggling to catch his breath Shaking his head JT turns towards Lucious, who is getting up with a smile on his face and pointing to the Rebel-tron that now reads twenty-one seconds. JT comes charging at him, but as Starr spins to the right; JT catches him, bringing him into a full nelson, spinning and driving him face first into the railing. Seventeen seconds on the timer as JT breaks a beer bottle to get a quick bleeding weapon and jabs it at Lucious Starr’s face; however Starr knees JT in the crotch again, or there abouts, and accomplishes by rolling him off and not making it easy on the Confederate Copperhead. Starr stumbles to the ring apron, but JT’s fighting through the pain, as he accepts a pair of barbed wire and thumbtack covered brass knuckles; the time on the clock reading eleven seconds. JT steps up behind Lucious who is pointing back towards where JT was laying at and mocking the fan for believing in someone like Whiplash.

Mikey Massacre: Lucious thinks he’s got this match already won.

Linzi Martin: This is fixing to hurt.

Timer reads seeven seconds and Lucious turns around to check on Whiplash. Right fist right to his face smashes his nose, a second busts his lips, and a third haymaker turning it into a dragging punch rips flesh on Starr’s face and blood begins to pour from the quick sharp and sudden thrusts from the specialized brass knuckles, the timer? Well it was at two seconds left when the first drop of blood came from Starr’s body. JT presses the advantage, along with the magnificant brutal weapon, into Starr’s face over and over eventually pushing Starr up against the post. JT with a big haymaker, but Starr ducks under driving his shoulder into JT’s midsection, sending them both crashing into the railing hard enough to move it backwards. JT pounds with both hands as Starr rains down rights and lefts as well. JT rolls Starr over, mounting him with punch after punch, but Starr rolls him back over nailing him with much of the same.

Mikey Massacre: Its like a schoolyard brawl!

Linzi Martin: I haven’t seen one… well since high school.

Starr pulls JT up, shoving him towards the ring, but JT manages to counter with an elbow into Starr’s ribs and nail him with a DDT. JT leans up against the railing, blood pouring, I mean literally pouring from his busted stitches, nose, and mouth to drip onto his chest. JT digs under the ring, coming out with a table, but just as he is about to set it up, Starr comes with a chair to the back of his skull, driving him face first into the table. Starr pulls him back up, piledriver onto the chair and rolls JT into the ring. Starr slides the chair, table, and a few other things into the ring(tacks, light tubes, barbed wire, staple gun, a few glass bottles) Starr rolls in, setting up the table, placing several light tubes onto the wood before dumping the tacks all over the ring. Starr smashes a light tube over JT’s skull, bringing blood from the back of his skull before dragging the ends of the tube down his back and causing even more wounds on his already scarred body.

Mikey Massacre: What a saddistic bastard! I love it!

Linzi Martin: So, you ARE into bondage and submission!

Mikey Massacre: What? Where did you… never mind I don’t want to know.

Linzi Martin: Oh that’s easy, its the Sexual Pleasuring Positions magazine issue for August 2011. A very invigorating read, if you ask me.

Mikey Massacre: Trouble is that I didn’t.

Starr has JT up for a body slam onto the thumbtacks, but JT counters somehow with a DDT that sends Starr’s face into the tacks! JT with a curb stomp onto the back of Starr’s head before pulling him up and whipping him into the corner. Starr has tacks all in his face, but begins to fire back with punches and kicks that back JT up. Starr backs off, then with a running leap mounts JT with a Lou Thesz press right on the tacks, driving them deeply into JT’s back. Starr rolls him around in the tacks, only a few remain; they are both in Starr’s face and embedded in JT’s back. However, both men continue fighting as its Starr’s turn to get a double fisted nut shot, but this one is a bit more damaging as JT has the staple gun. Starr starts shaking his head from side to side.

Linzi Martin: Would that hurt.

Mikey Massacre: It hurts me and I’m not in the match!

Starr howls out in pain as JT releases two staples into his groin before going for a Rydeen bomb onto the light tube covered table!

Mikey Massacre: My gawd! Did you see that Rydeen bomb from Whiplash!

Linzi Martin: Not really, I was fantasizing about all the damage.

Starr lays in the broken remnants of table and glass as JT leaps from the top turnbuckle with the Rebel Yell!

He connects and stays for the pin.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match as result of a pinfall… JT Whiplash!

J.T. Whiplash has his hand raised by the ref, the crowd cheering him on as he continues his rise back to prominence in REBEL Pro!

*****Real Talk*****

We fade backstage now. There’s a round table that is set up with a REBEL Pro banner hanging over the wall. At one side sits Marvin Humperdink, and at the other sits Simon Kalis. That same briefcase from earlier close to Simon.

Marvin Humperdink: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sitting here with the acting President and minority owner of REBEL Pro, Aaron Simon Kalis. Mr. Kalis…

Kalis puts his hand up, sips his beer and shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: No, you don’t need to be formal. Call me Ishmael.

Humperdink cocks an eyebrow.

Marvin Humperdink: What…?

Simon Kalis: I’m kidding. Don’t be so nervous.

Kalis burps after another chug of his beer.

Marvin Humperdink: Right, well. You arranged this sit down interview with me to go over the course of events that have taken place since your surprise purchase of 49% of REBEL Pro. But, first off… How is Larry Gordon? Are you in contact with him?

Kalis lights a cigarette and nods.

Simon Kalis: He’s doing as well as can be expected. He’s obviously still recovering from his health concerns, but he’s in good spirits and one of the greatest men I’ve ever had the chance to get to know.

Marvin Humperdink: Well, I’m sure he’s watched with some interest on how you’ve handled REBEL Pro since stepping in. Some people said REBEL Pro could never reach the national stage, yet the National Tour across the United States thus far has been a complete success. REBEL Pro is quickly gaining traction on the PWA in terms of revenue and ratings. What do you think has played the biggest role in REBEL Pros success during this national transition?

Kalis takes a moment to sip his beer and take a draw from his cigarette.

Simon Kalis: The fan support from the loyal REBEL Pro fans has been tremendous, and there has always been an interest worldwide for REBEL Pro through the availability of our programming on the internet. But the biggest factor is the wrestlers here themselves. I certainly have some… Issues, with some of them, but by and large they’re the reason we’ve been so successful. Look at a guy like Justin Case, his comeback was a huge thing especially with the loss of guys Johnny Maverick and Jacob Venar. You’ve got new blood like Violet Harper and Jaice Wilds who bring a whole new realm of excitement.

He flicks some ash.

Simon Kalis: Legion. What a beast, what a dominant figure he is and will be. Then you’ve got REBEL classics like Bubba J and Vincent Black.

He smirks.

Simon Kalis: Through and through, the REBEL Pro roster is jam packed with fucking superstars. We’ve got huge BWF Legend Gabe Shelley, former eWo star Alexia Fender. Guys like Chad Kurtis, people like Taboo… I could really name the whole roster here Marv. They’re all the reason REBEL Pro is rocking. To top it all off? Lisa Seldon, man. Do I need to say anything more than that? REBEL Pro’s longest reigning World Champion. The woman who brought the AoWF World Championship to REBEL Pro.

Marvin Humperdink: Yes. This is the Era of Seldon in REBEL Pro.

Simon Kalis: Yeah. I mean people disparage our roster, they disparage our product and our fans and why? Because they see it. Like deer in the fucking headlights. REBEL Pro is on the rise, Marv. We are on the cusp of something so great, so powerful. Everyone is electrified, and I think Bobby Lee literally so. You know what I say? Fuck you Phoenix. Fuck your PWA. Fuck Vic Wagner, and fuck Marvin Wood. Fuck everyone who ain’t down with REBEL Pro.

The crowd in the arena has a thunderous applause at this.

Simon Kalis: REBEL Pro has been underrated and shit on for too long. But we’ve taken it with stride, taken it on the chin. I don’t know if you’ve noticed? There are some TOUGH motherfuckers who fight here. As you saw last week? Our fans are tough, too. I’m sick of these phony fucks talking about things they fail to comprehend. We aren’t rednecks, we aren’t thugs, we aren’t dumb. We’re the modern Gladiators, and the REBEL Pro ring is our pit. It’s bloody. It’s gory. It’s awesome, and people love it.

Marvin Humperdink: Speaking of last week… The riot in Chattanooga. Can you tell me what’s going on concerning the lawsuit?

Kalis sips his beer, shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: I can’t speak on current or pending lawsuits, sorry.

Marvin sifts through his stack of papers.

Marvin Humperdink: Emily Corlen.

Kalis smokes his cigarette, no reaction.

Marvin Humperdink: What happened?

Kalis shrugs.

Simon Kalis: She chose to turn her back on REBEL Pro. She stayed here to win a title off of Lisa Seldons back, because as you know she was set to leave right before the tag team title tournament began. Now, the moment she loses that she walks off.

Marvin Humperdink: That’s it? That simple?

Simon Kalis: Well. I have to be careful how I speak. I am speaking to you as the President of REBEL Pro, but at the same time? Well. I mean do you want me to say something controversial? I’m sure it’s expected, and I’ve remained fairly quiet. She needs to get a grip on reality. She has black balled to infamy within the AoWF through her actions, and that’s fine. I offered her and Lisa rematches, either together or separately but that wasn’t enough to appease someone who hungers for titles like they do Big Macs.

Marvin Humperdink: So, I guess that offer is off the table?

Simon Kalis: No, but there is a time limit. It’s almost over. I don’t give a fuck. REBEL Pro and Victory Wrestling are the future of the AoWF. She wants to go to BWF because she can be somebody there, that’s fine. No one will ever respect her until she dips her toes out of the pond of fish and into the ocean of sharks.

Kalis crushes his empty beer can, snaps his finger and someone off camera chucks him another cold one.

Marvin Humperdink: Well, moving on. There’s a lot of buzz going on about Prove Your Worth. Can you confirm any of the rumours going around?

Simon Kalis: Like what?

Marvin Humperdink: Vic Wagner versus Bubba J?

Simon Kalis: Yeah. It’s going down, and is happening at Prove Your Worth.

The crowd in the arena can be heard cheering for this, why? Who knows. Not like they’re gonna be there in person anyways.

Marvin Humperdink: Violet Harper was set to face Emily Corlen at Prove Your Worth.

Simon Kalis: Yeah, no. That’s obviously not happening. Which worked out well in the end, because Violet Harper will be facing J.T. Whiplash for the Aggression Championship at Prove Your Worth.

Crowd goes nuts again.

Marvin Humperdink: Whoa! Really? Why?

Simon Kalis: Yes, really. Because Whiplash impresses me. He’s an old timer, I’m an old timer. More importantly he beat Gabe Shelley which is a big thing to do. He’s come back into REBEL Pro with a fire and drive that is inspirational. I reward that.

Marvin Humperdink: Well, damn. Another rumour circulating the internet is that Matt Stone will be facing former REBEL Pro World Champion Johnny Maverick.

Simon Kalis: Yep. Signed the match contract already. It’s happening. You better believe it.

Marvin Humperdink: Jesus. What about Lisa Seldon? Who is she going to be defending the title against?

Kalis puts his cigarette out and smiles.

Simon Kalis: Vincent Black.

The crowd gives their biggest ovation of the interview.

Simon Kalis: I told him if he failed against The Phoenix, I’d kill him. What better way than feeding him to Lisa Seldon? If he wins, he dethrones arguably the greatest World Champion in REBEL Pro history. If he doesn’t? He dies.

Kalis shrugs.

Simon Kalis: Win-win.

Marvin Humperdink: This is blockbuster news. Sadly our time is up, but I hope we can do this again sometime, sir.

Simon Kalis: Sure thing.

Marvin Humperdink: One more thing… Patient 4479?

Simon Kalis: Hahahaha… No comment.

Marvin Humperdink: Wait! Actually… What’s the deal with the briefcase?

Simon Kalis: I suppose you’ll have to check out Prove Your Worth for that. I’m just carrying it around being all mysterious and shit. Is it working?

Kalis shakes Marvin Humperdinks hand and walks out of the room, briefcase in one hand. Marvin looks at his hands for a moment, at his wrist and seems bewildered.

Marvin Humperdink: Wait. Did he just steal my watch?

Outside the door in the hallway…

Simon Kalis: Want a new watch?

Janitor: Sure!

Kalis throws him the watch and whistles as we fade to ringside.

*****A True Test*****

Bubba J walks down the hall, coming to the door marked “Jeremy Gold”, he tests the knob, which is unlocked, and goes in. Looking around he doesn’t see that damn boxing kangaroo and quickly heads over to Jeremy’s desk before riffling through his file cabinets. He smiles as he comes out with a very full bag of white powder and chuckles.

Bubba J: Now, lets see if JT Whiplash is serious about staying in Rebel Pro, see if that hot piece of ass Bailey Rose can keep him from sniffing all of this stuff.”

Bubba J sticks his head out of the door, while placing the bag into his brown paper bag, and seeing no one walks out. We follow him as he turns right down a hall and comes up on a door that reads “JT Whiplash” in bold black letters. J knocks on the door and after hearing no one inside, opens up and heads in. J looks around, seeing no one he places the brown paper bag on the table and writes “To: JT Whiplash” before hurriedly walking back out of the dressing room. Shutting the door, he whistles as he heads somewhere else in the building, having given JT a true test to see if he is willing to stay.

*****Shelley‘s Never Back Down*****

The Rebel cameras pan across the hallway, and into Gabe Shelley’s locker room. Shelley’s twin nieces are in the locker room with him. and they’re all screaming.

Noelle Shelley: NO! We are NOT letting you go out there alone!

Aria Shelley: We’re going with you!

He grabs his vest out of his locker as he shakes his head.

Gabe Shelley: You girls should just really stay out here. There’s no reason I can’t be out there by myself.

Noelle Shelley: Are you serious? Its a first blood match! We’re going! Aria grab your title!

Aria grabs Noelle’s and her own BWF tag titles off the chair and hands Noelle hers. Noelle and Aria start to follow their Uncle out of the locker room.

Gabe Shelley: Noelle, Aria, I’m serious. This is not my first match like this, far from it. I’ve been in worse matches and I’ve been in this exact situation a dozen times. There is nothing to worry about, I’ll be fine.

He holds up his hand and points to the bench.

Gabe Shelley: Just stay here, okay?

Noelle and Aria look at each other and Noelle raises an eyebrow.

Noelle Shelley: And if we don’t?

Gabe Shelley: You’re grounded? No desert after dinner? You have to eat all of your veggies? No television for a week?

He starts to laugh and just shakes his head.

Gabe Shelley: I mean it girls, I’ll be fine.

Noelle Shelley: No you won’t.

Gabe looks at Noelle and Aria takes a deep breath

Aria Shelley: What she means is… We know you can’t focus out there….

Gabe Shelley: I can… Don’t doubt what I can do or what I can focus on.

He tries to play it off as he slams his locker door and starts to put on his vest.

Aria Shelley: Uncle Gabe… Don’t do this match… We know you’re too worried about Alexia…

The girls look at their Uncle.

Gabe Shelley: I have to, Aria. Shelley’s just don’t drop out of matches minutes away from them happening. I’m going out there and compete just like I always would. I have to.

He starts to head towards the locker room door and turns back to them.

Gabe Shelley: If I don’t, then it’ll be all I can think about and I’ll lose it. I have to do this.

The girls look at each other again as Gabe walks out of the locker room.

*****Violet Harper versus Gabe Shelley*****

DING DING!

Mikey Massacre: There’s the bell, and we’re underway in this one…

Linzi Martin: I wonder what sort of hot action Violet can come up with this week?

As both combatants circle each other, the finally lock up for a test of strength with Gabe gaining the early advantage as Violet arches her back on the canvas due to the leverage. Violet then regains her composure and takes Shelley down with an arm-drag of sorts, followed by another Ricky Steamboat-style armdrag takedown, followed up with a dropkick that sends Shelley rolling out of the ring in frustration.

Mikey Massacre: What a quick pace set so far by Violet Harper!

Linzi Martin: I bet she’s not that quick in the sack…

Mikey Massacre: Fine, rub it in…

As Shelley pounds the mat in frustration, he grabs a ring-side chair and charges toward the ring, but gets met with a baseball slide drop-kick to the face. Violet then pushes Gabe Shelley against the guard rail and lets loose with a few knife-edged chops, followed by the obligatory “WOOOOOO!!!” from the fans. She then grabs a fan’s beer at ring-side, takes a swig of it, and spits it in Gabe’s face, blinding him temporarily.

Linzi Martin: Stick it to him, Violet!

Mikey Massacre: What a perfectly good waste of alcohol!

As Violet then charges toward Gabe as he moves toward the ring steps, he does a drop-toe hold to her onto the ring steps, knocking her loopy for a little bit. Gabe then tears away some of the protective matting at ring-side and proceeds to do his trademark Jersey Cutter (Twist of Fate) onto the concrete.

Linzi Martin: Oh no! Gabe just cracked her skull! Come on Violet, baby, GET UP!

Mikey Massacre: You know, Linzi, I’m young, I’m hung, and I’m skilled with my-

Linzi Martin: Stuff it, Mikey!

Gabe then drags Violet Harper inside the ring and proceeds to stomp on her a couple of times as he then picks her up for a Cannon Ball (Reverse Lung Blower) and drops her like a sack of potatoes. The impact of the move on Gabe’s bad knee causes him to momentarily clutch at his knee and wince as he finally goes for the cover.

Mikey Massacre: It looks like Gabe Shelley has messed up his knee again, but he’s still going for the cover…

One…

Two…

Linzi Martin: YES! Violet kicks out!

Gabe pounds his fists on the canvas as he limps out of the ring and goes for a black bag as he sprinkles it over the canvas, revealing the contents to be shards of broken glass as he makes an Irish Whip attempt onto Violet, but she reverses it and comes up with a Shining Wizard in the corner, knocking Gabe loopy in the process. As he sits out cold in the bottom of the corner, Violet puts a chair in front of Gabe’s face as she runs off the ropes and hits a brutal chair-assisted Face Wash kick as Violet goes back on the offensive attack.

Mikey Massacre: Ouch town, population: You, Gabe Shelley!

Linzi Martin: Oh my GOD, that’s hot!

Violet Harper then goes to the outside and reaches under the ring looking for something as she finally pulls out a 15-foot high steel ladder and positions herself just over the shards of broken glass from earlier as she starts to climb the ladder while Gabe is starting to come to.

Mikey Massacre: What in the HELL is she doing?

Linzi Martin: Making me go into spontaneous orgasms, that’s what she’s doing!

Mikey Massacre: … oh boy…

Violet gets to the top of the ladder, balances herself, and leaps off with her Purple Haze (Shooting Star Press into a DDT) onto the shards of broken glass, driving Gabe Shelley head-first, causing him to bleed on his head profusely as the fans chant “RE-BEL PRO! RE-BEL PRO! RE-BEL PRO!”.

Linzi Martin: OH MY GOD, THAT WAS AWESOME!

Referee Jimmy Johnson starts counting down the minute for Gabe Shelley to make Violet Harper bleed, but shortly after he starts counting, he stops when he notices a bleeding gash on Violet Harper’s right arm. He looks at it and tells Violet the match is now going to pinfall or submission!

Mikey Massacre: Wow, what a tough break for Violet Harper as Gabe Shelley was NOT going to get up after that…

Linzi Martin: You’ve GOT to be kidding me…

Violet pounds the canvas in disbelief as she argues with referee Jimmy Johnson, but during the argument, Shelley starts to stir. As Violet sees Gabe start to get up, he blocks a right hand punch by her and slams his good knee into her gut. Gabe goes for a clothesline, but when he turns around, Violet drills him with a Spinning Backfist. They both stop as someone appears to be coming down to the ring.

Mikey Massacre: Who the hell is that?

Linzi Martin: And she’s wearing one of Gabe’s hoodies!

We can clearly make out the female figure, but the hood over her head is too low for the camera to catch a glimpse of who she is. Violet Harper backs off, watching carefully incase of a double team, but Gabe seems as out of the know as her. The woman hops up onto the ring apron and Gabe approaches her.

Linzi Martin: Seems to me he’s all, “oh why are you here?! You should leave!” but I’m not a good lip reader.

Mikey Massacre: Yeah but I don’t think Violet cares, watch out Gabe!

The mysteriously hooded woman jumps down and as Gabe turns around he’s met with a sudden kick right to his face, sending Gabe down out cold to the canvas as Violet scampers up the top rope and hits her Corkscrew 630 Senton Bomb as Violet quickly hooks the leg and goes for the pin.

Mikey Massacre: Here’s the cover!

One!

Two!

Three!

Linzi Martin: WAY TO GO, BABY!

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match… VIOLEEEEEEEEEEET HARRRRRRRPERRRRRRR!!!

Mikey Massacre: Solid effort by Gabe Shelley, but right now, Violet Harper is damned near unstoppable… whoever faces her at “Prove Your Worth” has got a real challenge on their plate!

Linzi Martin: I really hope I get to party in her pants…

Mikey Massacre: I would too-

Linzi slaps Mikey upside the head as we practically hear Mikey whimpering.

Linzi Martin: Still whoever it was who interfered? They’re gonna get it.

*****THE AFTERMATH*****

As the bell rings and Gabe Shelley lays on the mat bleeding, the curtains open and the Shelley Twins run down the ramp and slide into the ring. They crawl over to their Uncle and start to help him to his feet with the lights in the arena go out and a familiar voice is heard..

Alexia Fender: Gabe… Gabe….? GABE!

Gabe Shelley wipes the blood from his forehead and he turns his attention to the video feed playing on the screen. He shouts something towards the entrance way as he leans on the ropes to help hold him up. The twins stand beside their Uncle and also turn their attention to the video feed, the screen finally comes to life, showing Alexia Fender tied to a chair, looking around, crying, shes looking around the room. Noelle’s jaw drops, and Aria screams.

Aria Shelley: ALEXIA!

Alexia keeps looking around, a mans laugh is heard, and someone walks into the frame, behind Alexia. Standing behind her is Gabe’s older brother, JC. He smiles into the camera and runs his fingers through Alexia’s hair. He sighs deeply and smacks his lips.

JC Shelley: Gabriel, I know you knew I had her. I also know you have no idea where to find me. Did you know how easy it was to take her right off the street? You let her go around a town she’d never been in all by herself. You didn’t keep your eye on the prize. Didn’t dad always tell you to do that? You never did listen did you? Now I promise you that you will never, ever find her. Kiss your happy little family goodbye, Gabriel.

Gabe’s face is bright red in anger as he squeezes the ropes and breathes heavily. Noelle grabs a mic and raises it to her lips. Noelle looks over at her Uncle and her twin sister, who is crying. She takes a deep breath hoping they can hear her.

Noelle Shelley: ALEXIA!

Alexia’s eyebrows raise from under her blindfold and she looks around.

Alexia Fender: Noelle?

Noelle climbs up on the bottom rope, screaming into the mic.

Noelle Shelley: DAD! LET HER GO! NOW!

JC Shelley: No.

He chuckles as Alexia’s sobs are still heard.

JC Shelley: Gabriel, you’ve always had everything you’ve ever wanted. I learned something over the years that I should have seen a long time ago. If I want to hurt you I don’t go after you personally. I go after the people you love. That’s right, Alexia. Good ol’ Gabriel still loves you, didn’t you know? Now he’s never going to get you back.

He pulls the back of her head by her hair and brings the camera down to it, placing his cheek against hers.

JC Shelley: Now you’ll live in regret for the rest of your life.

Alexia Fender: They’re gonna find you… All three of them, your daughters included!

Alexia cringes as JC pulls on her hair again.

Noelle Shelley: DAD STOP IT!

JC Shelley: No, Noelle. You turned your back on your real family so you’re just as much to blame. You did exactly what your uncle did so many years ago when he walked out the door and left his family behind. This is what happens, this is what he deserves.

All this time Gabe’s eyes are focused on the screen but he’s unable to speak.

JC Shelley: Say goodbye, Alexia.

Alexia Fender: When they find you… They’re gonna kill you!

Alexia turns her head and spits in JC’s f ace.JC smiles and then backhands her and puts a hankerchief in her mouth to stop her from talking. He wipes the spit off and shakes his head.

JC Shelley: Women, can’t live with ‘em. Eh, Gabriel? Any last words? Because I promise you this is the last time you’ll get to see her.

Gabe keeps staring at the screen and slowly raises a microphone up to his mouth.

Gabe Shelley: I will find her, I will find you, I will beat you within an inch of your life. That much is sure but the one thing you need to decide is what’s going to happen to you this time once your ass is in jail. You might not make it out, I’ll see to it. Alexia, I will find you.

Alexia nods so Gabe knows she can hear him, ut screams through the hankerchief as JC backhands her across the face again, tears running down Alexia’s face.

JC Shelley: Just try.

Gabe goes to speak again as the feed is cut off and he throws to microphone and falls to his knees in the ring.

*****Church of Hardcore*****

We cut to backstage and as the camera rounds the corner we see one half of the REBEL World Tag Team Champions, Bubba J getting swarmed by several members of Legions congregations. Bubba drops one with a heavy right hand and sends another slamming into the wall headfirst.

Bubba J: This all you got!? I ain’t even breakin’ a sweat!

Just then a trio of followers tackle Bubba and try to drag him to the ground. Like a quarterbacker, he starts to shrug off the men one by one. Bodies are starting to pile up everywhere.

Bubba J: Can we hurry this up? I got shit to do!

Rushing into frame we see the demented Piggy charge at Bubba J. He slams a golf club into the ribs of Bubba! We hear a muffled ‘Ugh’ from the double tough Tag Champ.

Bubba J: Freak bitch….

Another shot to the ribs and Bubba slumps against the wall. Piggy squeals in delight and charges in, the golf club held high overhead. Bubba swings up his leg and connects between the legs of Piggy who gives us another, yet higher pitched squeal.

Bubba J: Heheh, didn’t know if you even had anything down there for me to hurt.

Piggy doubles over and staggers away but before Bubba can move the massive Mammon slams into him sandwiching him against the wall. We can hear as the air is knocked out of Bubbas lungs and the monster Mammon doesn’t help matters as he lands a trio of heavy left hands into the ribs of Bubba.

Bubba J: Fuck…Fuck…You….

Another heavy left hand to the gut and Bubba slides down to the floor where he’s grabbed by Mammon and held from behind. Piggy crawls over to Bubba and gets into his face.

Piggy: (squeal) You aren’t tough! (a snort) Legion wants you fatty….

Bubba J: I…I ain’t….Hard ta find….Fucker.

Piggy slaps Bubba and Mammon shoves him to the floor. Before Bubba can get back to his feet the congregation seem to vanish into the dark hallways.

Bubba J: Oh it’s fuckin’ on now boys…..You done fucked up.

Bubba breathes heavily as he looks up and we fade to ringside…

*****Justin Case, Cuz Ya Never Know!*****

We fade to just outside The Millennium Game’s locker room, where the door swings open and Simon Kalis can be seen exiting. Inside the locker room we see Case nodding and smiling in Hugh Aredone’s direction.

Mikey Massacre: I smell a plot to take out Marvin Wood! And I love it!!!

Linzi Martin: REBEL Pro! FUCK YEAH!

Case walks out of the locker room followed by Hugh Aredone and they head towards the entrance as we fade to ringside…

*****AoWF TV Title Tournament- Round 2*****
*****Justin Case(REBEL) versus Marvin Wood(Victory!)*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled as a FIRST BLOOD SPECIAL and is the semi-finals of the AoWF Television Championship tournament! Introducing first, from Victory Wrestling! He hails from Pontefract, England!

The first few chords of Edward Elgar’s fourth Pomp & Circumstance March are played from the PA system into the arena. After a few seconds, “The Purist” Marvin Wood appears from behind the curtain with a dour expression on his face. He walks to the middle of the stage area and stands there for a few seconds, to survey the audience. He then begins walking down the entrance-way. Many of the members of the audience boo, some catcall and a few cheer. He looks at no-one as he approaches the ring, but stretches his fingers a bit. He stretches three fingers on each hand, first, and then four fingers on each hand.

Jenny Jersey: He is the Victory Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion… MARVIN WOOD!!!!

Marvin walks towards the ring steps, and walks up them and towards the middle of the apron, sliding his hand over the top rope as he does so. He pauses there for a few seconds, before entering the ring, right leg first and then left leg. He enters the ring with plenty of pomp and circumstance, as if he were a foot taller than he is. He then walks over to the opposite turnbuckle and waits. The REBEL Pro crowd BOOS him loudly, but Wood keeps his calm and focus.

Mikey Massacre: Security is tight for this match, we don’t want a repeat of last week. I still say Vincent Black won.

Linzi Martin: History will say differently, sadly.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent… Representing REBEL Pro WRESTLING!!!!!!

The crowd ALL rise to their feet and begin a thunderous applause.

Jenny Jersey: He hails from Edmonton, Alberta Canada…

” Victory ” by P Diddy and company hits the P.A. Out comes ” The Millennium Game ” Justin Case! He stands at the entrance way, with his manager behind him, as pyro shoots on either side while he raises his oh so talented arms in the very talented air! Case struts down the ramp as Hugh Aredone limpingly lingers behind. He struts to the squared circle with a cockily arrogance that only he can endeavor.

Jenny Jersey: He is The Millennium Game…. JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIIIN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE!!!!!!!

Once from inside the ring, he steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd on hand. Whether they like him or not, it does not matter. His manager hits his cane on the apron showing his approval. Jumping off the ropes he prepares for the match pulling on the upper rope as his music ends. He goes toe to toe with Wood, looking down at Wood and smirking.

Mikey Massacre: These guys exchanged quite a few words over the week, but we’re past talking.

Linzi Martin: Now it’s all about the fight, and the winner is one step closer to AoWF Championship Gold!

DING DING DING

They immediately begin a power grapple for dominance, both men struggling to push down and enforce their will and power over the other. Case holds himself over Wood, but then Wood pushes back and holds himself over Case. The crowd sits on the edge of their seats as they watch, but both men break off and push each other away. They begin circling the ring following the simple strength test, which left no clear winner.

Mikey Massacre: I expect we’ll be seeing some of Case’s more technical abilities tonight as he goes up against the Victory Champ.

Linzi Martin: You’re probably right.

Wood moves in now and hits a hip toss on Case that takes him down to the canvas, but Case rolls with it. Case flips himself back to his feet and hits a spinning heel kick that sends spit out of Marvin Woods mouth. Wood rubs his mouth and then looks back at Case, nodding with calculating eyes. Wood moves in and Case grabs hold of him from behind and hits a Full Nelson suplex to the canvas, the biased REBEL Pro crowd cheering this! Wood rolls away and grabs the ropes, pulling himself to his feet. He steps back but rushes forward, seemingly going for a clothesline but side stepping to avoid contact with Case. Wood capitalizes on the element of surprise, hitting a spinning neck breaker onto Justin Case. They both go down but Case quickly reverses the situation by locking in an ankle lock on Marvin Wood. He elevates it for more pressure, but both men realize that at this point no victory shall be had like this but Wood can feel the strain as he grimaces. Wood powers out, rolling onto his back and then lunging forward from the canvas. He wraps his left arm around Justin Case‘s head, falls back and seems to DDT him into the canvas. Then Wood wraps his legs around Case‘s waist and applies a submission hold, Case winces in pain.

Linzi Martin: Damn that Wood is one peak physical machine.

Mikey Massacre: He may have Case locked in, but he won’t win like this.

Case punches Wood in the ribs blindly and gets out, rolling away. Both men get to their feet and grapple again. Case hits a vertical suplex but Wood quickly gets back to his feet and unleashes a vicious clothesline on Case! The Millennium Game bounces off the canvas and right back to his feet, and Wood grabs onto Justin Case and goes for a power slam! Case hits the canvas but bounces right back up to his feet and Wood seems ready to pounce again, but Case dodges a grapple, kicks Stone in the gut and hooks both his arms up for a double underhook DDT! Case follow it up as he bounces off the ropes and lands a leg drop on the back of The Purists head. Case has had enough as he hops over the top rope, to the apron and now down to outside the ring.

Mikey Massacre: Oh boy. I think Case is about to go REBEL Pro on Wood now.

Linzi Martin: Awwwww shit SON!

Hugh Aredone reaches into his suit and pulls out a towel… A towel??? It’s wrapped around something. Case unfurls the towel, and it’s a crowbar! Tightly wrapped with BARBED WIRE!!!! The crowd goes nuts!

Mikey Massacre: Oh that sly son of a bitch. That’s Simon Kalis’ weapon! He must’ve given it for Case to use!!

Linzi Martin: YEAH! GO REBEL PRO!

Wood gets to his feet in the ring as Case slides in behind him and out of sight. Wood turns around… BANG! Case with a swing of the barbed wire crowbar, it meets Marvin Wood’s face! Pieces of flesh rip off with it, Wood is BLEEDING! MARVIN WOOD IS BLEEDING!!! THE COUNTER BEGINS!

Mikey Massacre: My GOD the crowd is going NUTS!!!! Justin Case is less than one minute away from one of the biggest wins in his career! Wood is bleeding!

Linzi Martin: NOW RUN JUSTIN! RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK!

Wood staggers, he’s feeling the pain now.

Fans: WELCOME TO REBEL PRO! WELCOME TO REBEL PRO!

Wood looks around, dazed and a bit angered. Case with another swing! Wood falls to his knees, holding his face as he bleeds! The counter is at 30 seconds left!

Mikey Massacre: DO IT JUSTIN! REMIND THE WORLD WHY YOU’RE A BONAFIDE LEGEND!

Linzi Martin: Oh, I’m so excited. I need an umbrella!

Case goes for another swing, but Wood blocks it. Hello, did you forget he’s the super duper awesome Victory Champion? He isn’t going down without a fight. Counter is at 20 seconds!

Mikey Massacre: Why would you need an umbrella? We’re in a dry arena.

Wood fights to his feet, cracking Justin Case repeatedly in the face with well placed lefts and rights! He has no choice! Case stumbles back, couner is at 15 seconds!

Linzi Martin: The arena might not be wet, but I am!

Mikey Massacre: Oh… Oh… OHHHHHHH! Oh my.

Wood tries to grapple! Case blocks it!

10!

Case with a head butt, Wood stumbles back.

9!

Wood goes for a left, Case blocks!

8!

Wood kicks Case in the gut! Case keels forward!

7!

Marvin Wood with a European uppercut! Case head flies back up!

6!

Case goes for a super kick!!!! Wood catches his leg!

5!!!

Wood spins Justin Case around!

4!!

Wood grabs onto Case, wrapping his head into his left arm!

3!!!!

WOOD WITH AN IMPLANT DDT!!!

2!!!

CASE’S FACE LANDED ON THE BARBED WIRE CROWBAR!!! OH MY FUCK!

1!!!!

CASE IS BLEEDING!!! JUSTIN CASE IS BLEEDING!!! THE MATCH GOES ON TO PINFALL OR SUBMISSION!

The crowd is having a massive collective heart attack, everyone is going nuts. The crowd is getting rowdy again as last week, but in a good way. Wood looks up at the timer, stopped dead at 1 second. He sighs in relief.

Linzi Martin: OH MAN I LOVE THIS PLACE!!! I’m on the edge of my seat!!!!

Mikey Massacre: GET UP JUSTIN! FINISH HIM!!!!

Case looks groggy as hell, and Wood covers him.

1!

2!!

THREEEEE- NO!!! JUSTIN CASE KICKS OUT! REBEL Pro is still in it!!!!

Wood gets to his feet, but so does Case. Both men are groggy but Case grapples Wood! He twists him around and whips him into the ropes. SPINEBUSTER!!! Case quickly rolls Wood up!

1!

2!!!

3!!!!!!!!!!

JUSTIN CASE WINS..

NO! NO!! NO!!! WOOD HAD HIS SHOULDER UP JUSSSSST BEFORE THE 3!

Mikey Massacre: We need brown paper bags, everyone is hyper ventilating.

Linzi Martin: *Breathing heavily*

Case slams his fist on the canvas but he doesn’t have time to be angry as Wood grabs him by the legs, INDIAN DEATH LOCK! Oh my fuck that’s gotta hurt, Wood is a masterful wrestler! Case is screaming, writhing in pain!!! Case looks ready to tap out! He raises his arm, his fist clenched as he sweats, bleeds and breathes REBEL fucking Pro. The crowd is on their feet, cheering him on not to give out. Wood is so clinical in his application of the death lock, there seems like no hope for Case! But Case finds some inner strength! He begins wildly throwing himself forward to strike at Wood and get Wood to let go of the hold. Finally, Wood does!

Mikey Massacre: We’re back in it! Never thought I’d be cheering Justin Case, but hell. Everyone in REBEL Pro is right now!

Linzi Martin: If that’s what you call it.

Linzi lifts her hand back up and licks her fingers clean, smiling. Mikey’s eyes go O_O.

Case is up. Wood is up. Case stumbles forward. He goes for Just 2 Talented! Wood counters, pushes Case off of him. IMPERFECT TENSE!!! WOOD WITH IMPERFECT TENSE!!! Wood covers!!!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Wood is on his knees, wiping the blood off his face.

Jenny Jersey: The winner and moving on to the finals of the AoWF TV Title tournament… Victory Wrestlings MARVIN WOOD!!!!

The crowd is still cheering, offering both men a standing ovation as Wood is handed his Victory Wrestling World Heavyweight title. Wood raises his arms high in the air, Case seems disappointed as he wipes the blood from his face and we fade to one last shot of Wood victorious.

*****The Joke‘s On You!*****

The REBELTron has a static picture now, nothing is clear. All we see is…

STATIC

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Style Clash defeats Jeremy Gold & his obese parody tag partner and they break the ring.
J.T. Whiplash defeats Lucious Starr and continues his rise!
Violet Harper defeats Gabe Shelley and then we see the emergence of a blood feud! YEAH!
Marvin Wood defeats Justin Case and moves on sadly, but they’re both awesome and it was fun.

*****Cigarettes and Whiskey*****

We fade backstage, to the office of REBEL Pro’s intrepid General Manager: Jeremy Gold. He’s hiding behind his desk, and we can see the cigarette smoke billowing up as he drinks straight from a bottle of Jack Daniels. He’s all shifty eyed and such.

Jeremy Gold: Go away.

Marvin Humperdink: We’re here for an interview, sir.

Jeremy Gold: Yeah but Simon’s not here. He said he’s drinking with an asshole or something.

Humperdink scratches his head.

Marvin Humperdink: Yeah, well that’s why we’re here to see what you plan to do since you’re back in charge for the week.

We can hear the toilet flush from the private bathroom.

Marvin Humperdink: You have a guest?

The bathroom door opens, and Marvin Humperdinks jaw drops.

Jeremy Gold: Yeah! That’s right! Meet my newest, greatest pal EVER!

The camera shows what appears to be a Kangaroo in red, white and blue trunks drinking Jack Daniels out of his own bottle. He drops the bottle and it shatters on the floor.

Jeremy Gold: RUPERT! GET THEM!

The kangaroo looks over at Marvin and the camera crew, and then hisses.

Rupert: *Whatever sounds kangaroo makes, he’s making them*

Marvin Humperdink: Oh my god… RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Marvin shoves the sound guy to the ground as he makes a beeline out of the office. Gold jumps onto his desk, and he’s drag queen’d out in a pink skirt with a floral silk shirt. He thrashes his head like he’s listening to death metal as Rupert the kangaroo boxes the shit out of the camera man and kicks the sound guy in the ass as he tries to get up. We cut back to ringside.

Mikey Massacre: So the guy we have in charge this week is a drunk, eccentric drag queen bisexual with a kangaroo bodyguard.

Linzi Martin: It’s just another day in REBEL Pro!

Mikey Massacre: Somewhere in North Carolina right now, Larry Gordon is face palming. Hard.

Over the REBELTron, we see through a shattered camera lens Rupert the Kangaroo hugging Jeremy Gold and them both smoking cigarettes as we fade…

*****Everything Will Be Alright!*****

The Shelley Twins are seen on Rebel’s cameras sitting in their Uncle Gabe and Alexia’s locker room, the door opens and Gabe walks in and they look up at him

Noelle Shelley: Hey Uncle Gabe.

Aria Shelley: Where’s Lex?

Gabe turns away from his locker and shuts his as he shrugs his shoulders.

Gabe Shelley: No idea. I haven’t seen her since I left this morning for my jog. When I came back she had already left. Maybe she’s still mad that I got the match switched and she’s around here somewhere. I’m sure it’s nothing.

He sits on the bench in the room and starts to lace up his boots. Aria and Noelle look at each other and Noelle gets up slowly.

Noelle Shelley: Umm.. Uncle Gabe…?

He doesn’t bother looking up but does raise an eyebrow, continuing to tie his boots.

Gabe Shelley: Yes, Noelle?

Noelle: Alexia’s car was still there when we left.. But she wasn’t.. we thought she went with you..

Gabe Shelley: Maybe she walked to the arena today? We aren’t too far from the hotel ya know. I’m sure it’s fine you two. Like I said she’s probably still upset that I won’t let her be in the match and when she’s upset it’s better to just give her some space. That’s probably what she’s doing.

The twins look at each other and Aria stands up, the girls start to argue quietly with each other.

Aria Shelley: WE HAVE TO TELL HIM!

Noelle shushes her sister quickly. Gabe finally looks up as he’s finishing the second boot and seems frustrated.

Gabe Shelley: Tell me what?

Noelle Shelley: Nothing.. Shes crazy.

Aria Shelley: I am not! I saw his car!

Gabe Shelley: I’m about to separate the two of you and let you decide who wants to tell me. You have 5 seconds to tell me WHAT is going on. Got it?

He starts to count on his fingers and out loud.

Gabe Shelley: 1… 2… 3…

Aria Shelley: I saw Dad’s car! Noelle thinks I’m crazy and paranoid, but I’m not, I saw it!

Gabe stops and takes a deep breath. He rests his elbows on his knees and sits forward, his head turned towards the two of them.

Gabe Shelley: Okay… I’m about to go on so I’ll make a few phone calls and have someone look around. I’ll swing by Gold’s office and tell him to have security keep an eye out for Alexia. Then once the match is over I’ll search the arena and look for her myself. You two just stay calm and try to call her. Everything will be alright, I’ll handle it.

The twins look to each other, then to their Uncle.

*****J.T. Whiplash versus Gabe Shelley*****

Lights blare as a picture of sharks with freaken’ laser beams attached to their freakin’ heads swim across the screen.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing Gabe Shelley!”

The lights go out as an image of a copperhead slithering down a dirt road airs on the REBEL-Tron as the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play with the snake slithering down the path. The snake then coils up in position to strike as the bagpipe intro ends and “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system as red, white, and blue lighting goes off throughout the arena. Just then, a spot-light shines on J.T. Whiplash in his wrestling attire, holding a Rebel flag as the fans erupt in cheers. J.T. then waves the Rebel flag in the air hollering as he does so. He then puts the flag over his shoulder as he makes his way to the ring slowly, tagging hands with as many fans as he can get to as he gets to the end of the ramp-way, pausing as he waves his Rebel flag around again before walking to the ring steps and sticking his Rebel flag in the ring post as he steps over the middle rope and climbs in the ring, shouting and hollering for the fans to cheer as he climbs up each second turn-buckle and lets out a loud “YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAWWW!!!” as he gives the crowd a bull-horn sign before he paces back and forth in the ring like a pissed-off hyena as he runs against the ropes a couple of times before going back to pacing as the music dies down.

Ding Ding

J.T stands across from his opponent Gabe Shelley as the bell rings and the two come together like two bulls in a pasture nailing each other with vicious stunning right fists. Gabe is knocked back a step before catching himself and heading back with another knocking fist that causes JT to step back a step. Whiplash lashes out with a boot to the gut but Gabe sidesteps the blow catching JT around the head and slamming him in the forehead with a headbutt sending JT back towards the ropes. Gabe presses his advantage with a roundhouse punch but JT ducks under coming up with a powerful double fist smash to the Shelley’s chin causing him to step back several steps. Jt’s turn to press the advantage as he mounts a bit more offense with right after right sending Gabe into the corner. JT with a whip sends Shelley out, but Gabe with a reversal sends JT back first into the corner. JT stumbles out but Shelley is right there with a boot knocking JT back into the corner. Gabe mounts him there with boot stomp after boot stomp mounting him with corner punches.

Mikey Massacre: Gabe Shelley showing why he is a former World Champion.

Linzi Martin: And why JT will have to go a long way to become one, especially here in Rebel Pro.

JT counters and now Gabe is the one in the corner receiving boot stomp after boot stomp. JT with a regular uppercut to Gabe’s chin rocks his head back on his neck and a short clothesline nearly sends Gabe out of the ring. Gabe with a haymaker right hand, but JT ducks under sending Gabe out with some sort of Somoan drop to the concrete floor. Gabe rolls away from the ring, but here comes JT leaping from the apron with a knee drop onto concrete, Gabe barely avoiding the somewhat high risk move.

Mikey Massacre: That can’t have felt good on JT’s bad wheels.

Linzi Martin: Then he shouldn’t have jumped.

JT holds at his right knee, but Gabe is going to press his advantage while he can and slams his boot onto the side of his knee as JT falls into the railing. Here comes Gabe with a clothesline that sends them both over as JT manages to grab him at the last instant. JT rolls around and both men get up to their knees, but Gabe is quicker to his feet. Gabe rushes over to JT, but Whiplash nails him right in the face with a handfull of popcorn. It doesn’t hurt Gabe at all, but stuns him long enough for JT to nail him right in the face with a beer bottle and send him stumbling back up against the rail. JT receives a chair from a very eager fan, nailing Gabe right in the face with the chair shot and he goes over the railing; JT holds onto the chair.

Linzi Martin: First blood?

Mikey Massacre: I don’t think so, but I’ve been wrong before.

Gabe rolls over to his knees, shoving himself up as JT nails hiim in the back with the chair and kicks him right in the ribs for the extra point. Gabe rolls over, but manages to trip JT up enough and cause the aged veteran to fall and the chair to hit him in the face. Gabe is at the apron, pulling himself up and coming after JT, who is now to his knees. Gabe with a field goal kick and JT is rolled up against the railing. Gabe with a stompfest has JT’s ribs and chest turning red from the blows. Gabe pulls him up to his feet, sending him into the apron with a whip, JT’s back slams hard into the apron before rebounding right into a hard clothesline from Shelley that nearly rolls JT back into the ring. JT is on the dazed street, allowing Gabe to pick up the steel chair and nail him right in the face with the weapon, busting him open on the forehead and down to the concrete floor. Gabe looks out to the crowd, brandishing the steel chair and bringing them up to their feet. Gabe leans over JT, stabbing him on the back of the neck and bad right knee with the top of the chair, doing as much damage as possible. Gabe tosses the chair away.

Mikey Massacre: Gabe perhaps going for the kill move now.

Linzi Martin: JT’s got something!

JT with a hand full of salt right to the eyes of Gabe cause him to stumble back in pain and because he is now blinded. JT pulls himself up and is also holding a cheesegrater from under the ring; we have no idea how it got there, but its Rebel Pro there’s probably a tank there as well. JT brings it across Gabe’s forehead and face bringing a lot of blood to the surface and causing some definite flesh tearing. Gabe throws blind punches but he’s got salt and blood in his eyes now. JT brings up the hand that had salt in it and rubs it on the wounds causing just a bit more pain from the former BWF World Champion.

Linzi Martin: What a saddistic bastard.

Mikey Massacre: The reason that Bubba J would like him to join him and Vincent Black in bringing back the original Rebel Pro.

Gabe turns around, nailing JT with a right fist to the nose and busting it again in his career. JT stumbles back from the sudden and sharp pain and Gabe presses his advantage as he can now see. Gabe with a boot to the gut and DDT onto the cheese grater. Gabe grabs it up dragging it repeatedly over JT’s face turning it to resemble a cheap pack of hamburger meat that is extremely bloody. Gabe lays the chees grater on top of the dented and bloody steel chair as he pulls JT into position with a saddistic grin on his face and has him locked in…

JUNK YARD JAM!(pedigree)

Linzi Martin: JT’s out cold!

Mikey Massacre: Gabe rolls him into the ring, going for the pin.

One!

Two!

JT with a shoulder up keeps the match going and the crowd haven’t set down yet, well except for a Marvin Wood t-shirt wearing fan. Gabe looks a bit astonished as he pulls JT up, nailing him with forearm after forearm shot backing him into the corner. Gabe with a whip sends JT across the ring, slamming chest first into the corner and as he spins around, Gabe nailing his Jersey Cutter(Twist of Faith). Gabe slides out of the ring and pulls a table out from under the ring, sliding it in before tossing a kendo stick and several other items into the squared circle as well. The fans begin a “We want Wood” chant and they don’t mean Marvin Wood either. Gabe sets the chair up, then promptly begrans stringing barbed wire up all over the table and lifting JT into position for his Jersey Bomb(top rope sitout powerbomb). Gabe has him up, but JT is fighting back with rights and lefts leaning over away from the table and…

BOTH MEN FALL TO THE OUTSIDE!

Linzi Martin: Holy Shit! They fell from the top turnbuckle to the concrete floor!

Mikey Massacre: And I think Gabe Shelley got the worst end of that exchange; however neither man is moving.

Referee Jimmy Johnson slides outside with the quickness and checks on both men before signaling for the paramedics to come out there and help them out; Gabe landed on his head and JT landed heavily on his face/side. The paramedics rush out there as the crowd has gone silent, but the Marvin Wood fan is nodding as though to say “That is what you get!” The paramedics load both men up on the stretchers and haul them backstage, the crowd is completely silent still.

Mikey Massacre: A truly tragic turn of even…

The crowd explodes in cheers as JT comes from the back peppering Gabe’s face and head with right after rights, but Gabe is returning with a combination of rights and lefts as well. Gabe swings with another haymaker, but JT ducks under and splashes something up into Gabe’s face that causes him to stumble near the edge of the stage, JT tosses away a pack of lemon juice that he threw into the eyes and cut face of Shelley. Gabe turns around, right into a desperation superkick from JT that sends him over the edge of the stage to the equipment below! JT doesn’t hesitate, he launches himself over the side of the stage while yelling out in a basic yell of defiance!

Mikey Massacre: My gawd, they’ll kill each other!

Linzi Martin: Gabe won’t back down and evidentally neither will JT Whiplash!

The cameras cut to the two bodies, but JT is not on top of Shelley, as he somehow managed to roll out of the way and JT landed right where Gabe had been, a few sparks spraying up from the equipment table and the smell of burnt plastic filling the air. Gabe rolls off the table, looking down as blood drips from his face and a few scorch marks cover his chest and back, pulling JT off the table, showing the same marks of the battle on his body as well. Gabe drags the stumbling JT towards the ring, nailing him about every fourth step with an elbow and every third step with a right fist to the temple to keep him docile.

Linzi Martin: Both men look like they’ve been through hell.

Mikey Massacre: They have been, believe me.

Gabe rolls Jt into the ring, rolling in slowly after him and pulling him up to his feet. Gabe whips him towards the ropes, but JT reverses and catches Gabe with aRideen bomb through the barbed wire table that Gabe had set up earlier!

Linzi Martin: That’s got to be it.

Mikey Massacre: Whiplash with the Whip-cracker, let’s find out, JT with the cover.

One!

Two!

Gabe somehow shoves his shoulder up into the air and no one can believe it, they cheer it, but they can’t believe it. JT bows his head before climbing up to the top turnbuckle. JT jumps off with the Rebel Yell(big body splash); JT holds his ribs and makes the cover.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match… JT Whiplash!

JT pulls himself up and stares as Bubba J walks from the back, clapping and showing his approval with a nod.

Bubba J: “Way to go son, way to show that an old man can still beat…”

He points to Gabe Shelley.

Bubba J: “Another broken down old man.”

He looks out to the crowd as he continues speaking then back to JT Whiplash.

Bubba J: “You had some mighty big words for me, didn’t ya?”

He holds up a hand.

Bubba J: “Frankly Whiplash, I don’t give a damn what you say about me, all I care about is returning this company to the bloody thirsty savageland it used to be.”

He points to Whiplash and to Shelley.

Bubba J: “And it appears that you can do that, but I want to see exactly how hardcore you can be son, how long you are willing to stick around, before anyone that I’m associated with offers you a chance to join the most elite of all extremists.”

Bubba J points to Mikey Massacre at the announcers’ table.

Bubba J: “Check out some of his matches, that is what I’m looking for. I want true hardcore dedication and so do my associates… I’ve asked you before, but do you have what it takes to stick around and help us out Whiplash?”

He stares into the Confederate Copperhead’s eyes.

Bubba J: “Or do you want to hide in your drugs and boos and run like the chicken so many people say that you are?”

The two men stare down.

Bubba J: “The choice and options are your’s Whiplash, your call to make.”

Bubba J leaves as “Simple Man” hits back up in the speakers.

*****RISE ABOVE… And Prove Your Worth*****

We fade to darkness… “Civilian” by Wye Oak begins to play in the background.

RISE ABOVE…. MEDIOCRITY.

We see a flash of light.

RISE ABOVE… EMOTION.

We see Lisa Seldon, holding all her belts. Lisa Forever!

RISE ABOVE… PAIN.

We see Vincent Black destroying Emily Corlen, and hoisting the REBEL Pro Tag titles with Bubba J.

RISE ABOVE… MADNESS.

We see the blood smeared hallways of a particular mental institution…

RISE ABOVE… DARKNESS.

We see Legion raising his head, glaring into the camera.

RISE ABOVE… REGRET.

The Confederate Copperhead J.T. Whiplash, his hand being raised in triumph.

RISE ABOVE… PERCEPTION.

We see Violet Harper, bloodied and battered as she raises the Aggression title high.

RISE ABOVE… CHALLENGE

We see Justin Case getting to his feet, flashes of his brilliant REBEL Pro career.

RISE ABOVE… AND PROVE! YOUR! WORTH!

Prove Your Worth, LIVE September 5^th, 2011 at The Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky!

I don’t need another friend
When most of them
I can barely keep up with them
Perfectly able to hold my own hand,
But I still can’t kiss my own neck

Civilian.
Civilian.

Fade to ringside…

*****AoWF Television Title Tournament Round 1*****
*****Vicious Vic Wagner(PWA) versus Marvin Wood(VW)*****

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall! The winner will advance to the Second Round of the AOWF Television Title Tournament! Introducing first, representing the Pioneer Wrestling Association…

A lion roars over the PA system and “King of the Hill” by Annihilator blares. “Vicious” Vic Wagner emerges from the curtain, glaring out at the fans as he gives them his sign, being booed by the majority of fans but cheered by a strong contingent excited to see a battle between two ring technicians.

Jenny Jersey: From Munich, Germany, weighing in at two-hundred and fifty-nine pounds… The Pioneer Wrestling Association INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION… he is… “VICIOUS” VIC WAGNER!

He makes his way to the ring, threatening to punch a few fans who get in his face, telling Wagner to get out of “REBEL Pro” country.

JENNY JERSEY: And his opponent, representing Victory Wrestling, making his way from Pontefract, England…

You’d like to think that “Pomp & Circumstance March No.4” by Edward Elgar is going to hit the sound system and Marvin Wood walks out all tough and smart-looking, but that’s not the case. Instead, we get treated to a true American song. A song from a great entertainer. “Asshole” by Denis Leary cues up on the sound system as Marvin Wood makes his way from backstage, not pleased at all.

Denis Leary: Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American dream. About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area, maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon. We don’t know…

Leary’s great song kicks in full gear as the big screen in the arena lights up showing the inside of the fancy production truck for tonight’s event. Simon Kalis is inside, of course. We all kind of expected that, but what we don’t expect is former PWA World Champion Matthew Engel sitting next to him.

Virus: They have six packs of cognac?

Kalis: Where I go they do. I’m black remember?

Virus: Seems legit.

Meanwhile Wood is looking up at the screen as Denis Leary’s “Asshole” continues on. Vic Wagner watches, hiding a smirk.

“I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, such an asshole)”

We go back to the production truck, and now there’s that damn kangaroo with them. Rupert!

Rupert: *KANGAROO NOISES*

Virus: Now I’ve seen it all.

Kalis: Dude, this guy is hilarious.

Virus: Is this his Marvin Wood impression? Because it’s awesome.

Rupert is smoking a big pipe and trying to read a book about Condensation.

Virus: Con…den…sayytion.

Kalis: Your British accent needs work, dawg.

Virus: So does your black accent.

Kalis: OH SNAP!

Kalis and Virus exchange awkward white/black guy high fives.

Virus: Wood is clearly an asshole. Good pick.

Kalis: A…SS… HO… LE! Everybody!

Kalis/Virus/Crowd: A… SS.. HO… LE!

Kalis/Virus: Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song. Ranting and raving and carrying on. Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong…NAAAAH!

Both Virus and Kalis raise their drinks up. Virus is drinking a Sharps. Typical alcoholic. Kalis is still rocking his juicebox of cognac.

Kalis: YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!

Virus: YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!

Kalis: HE’S AN ASSHOLE!

Virus: SUCH AN ASSHOLE!

The song continues and Wood is really pissed now, almost begging for one of them to come down to the ring and fight him. He’s in the ring as the crowd is going crazy with laughter.

Virus: What is Wood gonna do about it? He can’t do anything about this. We’re pretty much the shit. And we got the bombs, okay?! Two words: nuclear fucking weapons, okay?!

Kalis: That’s like, four words.

Virus: Well it doesn’t matter! This is America! This ain’t some tea party for finer gentlemen club! Fuck, I need to come work here.

Kalis pulls out a contract he just had lying around.

Kalis: Sign it, I’ve literally been passing these around like I’m some deaf guy trying to collect money.

Virus: Dude, harsh. My uncle was deaf.

Kalis: You think I give a shit about your uncle? You think Marvin Wood does?! WE’RE ASSHOLES!

And right on cue with the song ending…

Virus/Kalis: And we’re proud of it!

They both smirk.

Kalis: See ya bitches!

The big screen goes black and Wood is fucking super pissed as he turns to face Wagner. The referee finally rings the bell.

Linzi Martin: Man that was awesome.
DING DING DING

Mikey Massacre: Wow, a classic wrestling bout! Two technicians, neither really experienced outside the squared circle… it almost doesn’t feel like REBEL Pro Wrestling as of late!

Linzi Martin: Why you always slamming this place? What’s wrong with the way REBEL is as of late?

Mikey Massacre: No, nothing, you’re right… just seems like with the matches we’ve seen and guys like Hardcore Entertainment saying the hardcore ain’t enough, no one remembers that we used to pride ourselves on our technical experts! REBEL wasn’t just the country of blood, it was the country of Nick Everhardt, Derrick Steele, Rex Caliber, Kyle Roberts, Chris F’N Casino for Chrissakes! And now… it seems strange. But I like it. I welcome it!

The two competitors circle each other. Each reaches for the opponent’s wrist to no avail. Each goes for a single-leg takedown but the other scoots away. They continue like this for a solid thirty seconds before Wood, the smaller and slightly faster of the two, is able to grab Wagner’s leg. He trips out the back foot and drops an elbow into the knee of Wagner, quickly applying a kneelock. But Wagner quickly reverses into a chinlock which he cinches. Wood gets to his feet and reverses into a wristlock. Before he can cinch, Wagner reaches back and snapmares his opponent over. A big elbow to the back of Wood’s head! Another! A third!

Mikey Massacre: Fast elbow strikes from “Vicious” Vic!

Linzi Martin: He also dug his knee into the back of his opponent at the same time!

Wagner picks Wood up and whips him from rope to rope, reversed by Wood! Wood with an arm-drag takedown! Another! Wagner gets to his feet only to be pushed into the corner by Wood. Knife edge chop! Another! A third! Wood whips him from one corner to the next. Wagner reverses into a short-arm clothesline!

Mikey Massacre: Both men showing their technical aptitude in the early minutes!

Linzi Martin: One count! Wood kicks out with authority!

Wagner drops a knee on Wood’s forehead! He picks Wood up and throws his head into the turnbuckle! And he successfully whips him from one corner to the other. Runs in for a splash but Wood gets a foot up! Wagner staggers back. Wood with a clothesline that takes Wagner down! Wagner quickly gets to his feet only to be dropkicked back down!

One—kickout!

Linzi Martin: Marvin Wood takes control of the match back from Wagner!

Mikey Massacre: Chicken Wing Camel Clutch applied by Marvin Wood! He is controlling the tempo now!

But it might be too early because Wagner quickly powers out of it, spins around his opponent, and pulls him up with a waistlock. Waistlock takedown. He picks Wood up, the waistlock still on. He appears to be going for some type of German suplex but Wood battles out of it with stiff back elbows and reverses the waistlock into one of his own. German from Wood—Wagner flips backwards and lands on his feet! Dropkick to Wood! Wood up just in time to get Irish whipped into the corner. Wagner runs towards him… this time he lands the big splash! Wood stumbles forward… Wagner catches him in a big spinebuster! Cover!

1!

2!

Kickout!

Vic Wagner quickly transitions into a rear naked choke, but Wood appeared ready for it and gets to his feet. They lock-up. Wagner spins around him and applies a full nelson hold, working on the neck of his opponent. Wood tries to run to the ropes but Wagner keeps him towards the middle, really working on the neck. Finally, Wood jumps up onto the top turnbuckle and flips backwards, breaking the hold! But Wagner immediately catches Wood with a neckbreaker! He gets on top of Wood and begins pounding away at his skull. Rights and lefts! Rights and lefts!

Mikey Massacre: Wagner back in control! He just may defeat the Victory Wrestling World Champion here on Aggression!

Linzi Martin: But, like you said, he is a world champion! And, from what I know, a very egotistical and proud world champion—he will not be defeated easily!

Wood crawls out from underneath Wagner but Wagner cinches in a cobra clutch! But before he can really lock it in, Wood escapes to the outside to reorient himself. He does some neck stretches to ease the pain in his neck. Wagner stands waiting in the ring, signaling him to return. Wood jumps onto the ring apron. Wagner attacks him with rights and lefts, then grabs his head and throws it into the turnbuckle—no! Wood blocks it with his arms! He smashes Wagner’s head into the ‘buckle. Twice! Three times! Four times! Five times! Wagner staggers backwards. Wood goes up top! MISSILE DROPKICK! And he immediately applies a STF!

Mikey Massacre: You called it, Linzi!

Linzi Martin: Wood has Wagner in the middle of the ring! Will he tap?

Wagner crawls towards the ropes with his one free arm but can’t get very far. Realizing this, he begins punching Wood. Wood releases the crossface allowing Wagner to get to a rope and use the leverage provided to break the hold. Wood stands up and immediately drops boots on Wagner’s head. He pulls Wagner towards the middle. Single-leg Boston crab… Wagner kicks him away! Wagner gets to his feet just in time to catch a foot from Wood. Enzuigiri kick sends Wood staggering… right into a huge T-Bone suplex!

Cover!

1!

2!

3—KICKOUT!

He pulls Wood to his feet and hooks a waistlock. But Wood reverses! German suplex—he rolls through! Into a second German… with a BRIDGE! Beautiful!

1!

2!

3—KICKOUT!

Mikey Massacre: A suplex CLINIC!

Wood pulls Wagner up to the top! He takes his time, also trying to catch his breath. He hooks him for a superplex! They exchange blows on the top-rope! Wood with some big headbutts. Wagner fires back with some side elbows. But Wood fires back with vicious knife edge chops! Double Arm Superplex! COVER!

1!

2!

3! NO, KICKOUT!

Mikey Massacre: I can’t believe he kicked out again! If that were me, I’d be GONZO!

Linzi Martin: Yes you would!

Mikey Massacre: Oh come on!

Wood with a quick Suplex, holds on… a second… a third—no! Wagner with a kick to the gut. He steps back, then forward… ROARING ELBOW! Ducked by Wood… Back Suplex to Wagner!

COVER!

1!

2!

3! NO–KICKOUT!

Wood pulls Wagner up just enough to apply the Inverted Trachea Choke Hold from seated position! Has it locked in for a bit, then Wagner slowly gets to his feet… chinbreaker! Stunning Wood!

Mikey Massacre: Wagner reached down deep!

Wagner hits his ROARING ELBOW! Wood stumbles but doesn’t fall. A second ROARING ELBOW! Finally off of the ropes with a huge ELBOW SMASH sends him down!

COVER!

1!

2!

3… KICKOUT!

Wagner goes up top as Wood gets to his feet. FLYING CLOTHESLINE!

COVER!

1!

2!

3! NO KICKOUT!

Wagner grabs the Victory champion and sets him up for Gallows Humor on the top turnbuckle!

Mikey Massacre: If he nails this, this is OVER!

Linzi Martin: Sure is.

But Wood fights him off!

Mikey Massacre: These two men better save something for Round 2! One of them will get there!

Linzi Martin: They are battling on the top turnbuckle!

Mikey Massacre: And there are no tables in sight to be thrown through!

Wood wins the battle and a series of huge headbutts sends Wagner off of the turnbuckle! Wood goes for a top-rope splash… but Wagner gets his knees up! Now Wagner climbs up top. Diving headbutt… Wood rolls out of the way!

Linzi Martin: Both men are on the mat! Wood holding his abdomen and Wagner holding his head!

Wood gets to his feet first. Wagner is about to turn around when… Wood NAILS him with IMPERFECT TENSE! COVER!

1!

2!

3!

Jenny Jersey: The winner, advancing to Round 2 of the AOWF Television Title Tournament… the Victory Wrestling WORLD CHAMPION… MARVIN WOOD

Wood has his hand raised by the referee and seems quite satisfied with his victory. He nods respectfully to Vig Wagner as he makes his leave of the ring.

*****Sexy Time!*****

Backstage we find the sexy and awesome Violet Harper, the RPW Aggression Champion!

Violet Harper: “Cue the sexy.”

*replay from last week’s Aggression*

LINZI MARTIN: I LOVE YOU VIOLET!

Back to Violet.

Violet Harper: “Thank you, Linzi. I love you too. And I dig chicks. Especially chicks that are wrestling nerds. Linzi Martin knows just about everything when it comes to our business. Did you all know before she came to Rebel Pro, she was a commentator and interviewer for the PWA on their Chaos brand? Yeah, she knows her stuff.”

Violet gives the camera a wink.

Violet Harper: “Unfortunately my boyfriend is very traditional, so we can’t… really share our knowledge with each other, if you get what I mean darlin’. But I gotta be honest, if I feel the need to celebrate because I do something big – like win another shiny belt or defend mine against insurmountable odds? Well, let’s just say Linzi you’re getting invited to the party in my pants.”

She smiles. The crowd begins to howl and whistle.

Violet Harper: “But on a serious note… last week I went to the extreme to pull out a win against another douchebag trying to come into Rebel Pro and tell us that we’re nothing but scrubs. Well I showed him didn’t I? I gave that little brat Lucious Starr a taste of Violet Harper!”

The crowd goes wild.

Violet Harper: “Of Rebel Pro!”

The crowd pops again.

Violet Harper: “And especially a taste of what’s to come!”

The crowd keeps going. They love her!

Violet Harper: “See… I got such a damn…rush! Last week, you know? I just want Rebel fans to know that while I value my safety and the safety of the fans, I value winning and being awesome just a little bit more. So feel free to send me ideas, things you’d like to see me blow up, people you’d like to see me set on fire, and other wacky stuff that I can do to help entertain you all and make this place even more awesome than it already is! You can email me at violetharpersexytime at rebelpro dot com!”

She holds up a sign that has the same email address written on it in hot pink with glitter. She’s such a chick sometimes.

Violet Harper: “In the mean time, Rebel Pro faithful, I will continue my winning ways and I will be defeating any challenge Mr. Kalis puts in front of me to remain the baddest and sexiest Aggression Champion ever!”

She blows the camera a kiss and begins to walk away, the camera catching an exceptional glimpse of Violet’s rear end in a delicious chocolate skirt. Well, you wish it was made of chocolate, so you could eat it right off of her, but unfortunately it’s just the color. Cut back to ringside.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Listen, Linzi, if you don’t wanna go to the party in her pants, I would gladly take your –

LINZI MARTIN: No way in Hell, Mikey.

We can literally hear the sad face.

*****AoWF Intercontinental Championship Match*****
*****Vincent Black(REBEL) versus The Phoenix©(VW)*****

“Carbomb” hits as Vincent Black makes his way to the ring.

JENNY JERSEY: Introducing first! REBEL Pros challenger!

The crowd cheers.

JENNY JERSEY: He is one half of the REBEL Pro World Tag Team CHAMPIONS…. VINCENT BLACK!!!

The crowd cheers him as he enters the ring.

JENNY JERSEY: And his opponent, from Orlando, Florida…

You were expecting The Phoenix’s theme to come on, whatever the devil he’s using these days. But it’s not! It’s Matthew Engel and Simon Kalis, once again in their production truck on the big screen. Rob Robinson waltzs out to the stage thinking his song is on and he’s all pumped up, but no one is cheering.

Virus: Rob is a man of dignity.

Kalis: And a man of addictions.

Virus: A man of class.

Kalis: And a man with no ass.

Virus cracks up, trying to keep going.

Virus: He’s a visionary!

Kalis: And he likes to do it missionary!

Virus: And all he really wants?

Kalis: Is Sex…

Virus: And Yoo-Hoo!

“Sex and Beer” by Pat McCurdy hits the sound system as Kalis and Virus rock out to the Wisconsin legend’s only big hit.

Virus/Kalis: Sex and Yoo-Hoo… Sex and Yoo-Hoo…are the two things he holds dear! Sex and Yoo-hoo…Sex and Yoo-hoo…are the things he likes ’round here!

The song continues in the background as The Phoenix is very angry, you can even tell behind that mask of his. Kalis quickly puts on a Phoenix mask he bought for 75 cents at a flea market. Virus pops a big pipe in his mouth and is wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat.

Virus as Marvin Wood: Speaking with logic, we are the best because we never lose, especially not to some young punk and an adult-sized emo kid, and we hold all the gold in Victory Wrestling. Philosophically speaking, you are a great champion because you cheat at every turn! Realistically speaking, I am a great champion because I finally have something shiny to put around my waist after all these years of hard and dedicated work. Changing lives, Robinson! That is the name of the game!

SK as Phoenix: DUDE! GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN YOO-HOO! I… I’ll suck yo dick, man. Just give me the chocolately good stuff.

Virus as Marvin Wood: Philosophically speaking, the Yoo-hoo needs you more than you need the Yoo-hoo. You have to learn to control your addictions, guvna.

SK as Phoenix: Wait, what?

Virus as Marvin Wood: Quite.

Virus sucks on his pipe and bubbles come out of it.

Virus as Marvin Wood: Now sir, I shall read you a passage from my favorite written work, Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat.

SK as Phoenix is scratching his neck, obviously running rampant with his Yoo-hoo addiction and is barely fighting off the urge to maim his hetero life partner Virus as Marvin Wood!

Virus as Marvin Wood: “I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny. But we can have lots of good fun that is funny!”

SK as Phoenix: “Yoo-hoo! I need… Yoo-hoo. Can’t…win…without…cheating…unless… have… YOO-HOO!”

Virus as Marvin Wood: “Indeed.”

SK as Phoenix is having a seizure! This is a catastrophe! Virus as Marvin Wood however remains emotionless and focused.

Virus as Marvin Wood: “Brilliant. I must research the chemicals within this chocolately drink that could possess a man with such stature and power. Doth I dare have a taste?”

Virus as Marvin Wood grabs something from out of his pocket. SK as Phoenix is passed out from the withdrawal. Virus as Marvin Wood takes a gulp. His eyes light up like a Christmas Tree!

Virus as Marvin Wood: THIS IS THE DOG’S BOLLOCKS!

Virus as Marvin Wood begins chugging the Yoo-hoo! He’s got the crazy eyes now!

Virus as Marvin Wood: MORE YOO-HOO PLEASE!

The screen goes black, and then the late great Rick James shows up on the screen.

Rick James: Man…Yoo-hoo is a hell of a drug.

Back to Kalis and Virus in the production truck. They’re both laughing their asses off. Kalis took the Phoenix mask off and Virus took his hat off, but kept the pipe.

Kalis: You love that pipe don’tcha?

Virus: It’s grown on me.

Kalis: Do you know how mad Rob is right now?

Virus: Probably not as mad as the day he found out he got herpes.

Kalis: OH SNAP!

They exchange another awkward white/black guy high five. Nearly missed, too. Amateurs.

Kalis: I think we pissed Wood off so bad he turned French.

Virus: OH SNAP! But – if he was French, he wouldn’t be able to live up to his last name.

Kalis: … Why?

Virus: Because the French are a bunch of pussies.

Kalis: Hahahahaha… man, we’re outta cognac.

Virus: Call Jeremy and tell him to make a beer run.

Kalis: B double E double R U-N! That spells BEER RUN!

Kalis pulls out his phone and speed dials Jeremy. He answers, and he’s terrified per usual.

Kalis: Get us some more cognac, nigga!

Kalis hangs up.

Virus: What do you get when you cross Woods with a Phoenix?

Kalis: ????

Virus: EVERYTHING BURNS!

Kalis starts rolling with laughter.

Kalis: Did you just make a fat joke?

Virus: No that was an Emily Cor- ohhh…yes, haha. Yes I did!

Kalis laughs some more and then turns toward the camera.

Kalis: Alright Robbie, have your match. Black’s gonna kill you anyway.

We cut back to ringside where Robinson has literally had enough and has already started attacking Vincent Black. The bell finally rings.

DING DING DING

Black pushes Phoenix away and now Phoenix circles the ring, smirking, cocky, he’s got his swag on so hard we can hear Souljah Boy in our heads and somewhere Corey Lazarus is face palming. Phoenix launches a quick strike with an open palm to Vincent Blacks throat. Black stumbles a bit and holds his neck, but he simply charges at Phoenix and clotheslines him to the canvas! The fans cheer for Black, but their cheers quickly turn sour as Phoenix counters it by catching Black’s arm and holding onto him, Phoenix quickly takes Black down with an implant DDT. Black powers his way to his feet and begins an all out brawl with the Phoenix! Black with a right! Phoenix with a left! Black with an uppercut! Phoenix with a kick to his shins. Black keels over a bit, giving Phoenix the time to do a flipping neck breaker thing! It’s like whoa! Black is all whoosh, THUD! Phoenix bounces off the ropes, but pricks himself off the barbed wire middle ropes and rolls his eyes at the fucking silly REBEL Pro people and their ring of death. But he starts running again, goes for a leg drop on Black, but Black rolls out of the way.

Linzi Martin: Lots of back and forth so far!

Mikey Massacre: Crush the Phoenix, Vinny!

Phoenix quickly keeps his pace, locking a sleeper hold onto Vincent Black. But Black immediately begins trying to power his way out of it, throwing errant elbows behind himself. Black, using his strength, stands all the way up and Phoenix hangs off his back with the sleeper hold still locked on. Black wobbles around, trying to keep his balance before wilfully dropping back and crushing the Phoenix under his weight. Black rolls Phoenix over and covers.

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Linzi Martin: I don’t think anyone expected Phoenix would go down that easy, but still. The fans here are anxious.

Mikey Massacre: Yep. They wanna see Black take the gold!

Black whistles at a fan, who reaches into their backpack and throws him a small baseball bat! Phoenix looks all “WTF” at this, right till Black swings it. He cracks Phoenix over the head, Phoenix stumbles back, the crowd cheers. REBEL Pro- fuck yeah! Black with another swing, in Phoenix’s ribs, into Phoenix’s legs, he’s going buck with the bat. Phoenix regains his composure, he’s too bossy to be taken out with a bat. Phoenix grapples Black, forcing Black to drop the bat. Phoenix lifts his knee into Blacks gut. Swinging neck breaker! Phoenix grabs Blacks legs now, and much to the chagrin of the fans, Phoenix locks in a Texas Cloverleaf.

Mikey Massacre: We’ve been subjected to this pure wrestling almost all night. I think the REBEL fans are getting blood thirsty.

Linzi Martin: Uhh…. *Ducks a flying chair from the crowd* Yeah, you’re probably right.

Phoenix smiles under his mask, the crowd is getting restless. They’re throwing their chairs at ringside at the ring, their beer cans, their other garbage and things. Black is refusing to tap, looking around at all the fans as they begin getting anxious and stir crazy. Suddenly brawls begin breaking out all over the arena in the stands between fans,

as they begin smashing shit over each others heads. Phoenix finds this amusing as he wrenches the Texas Cloverleaf tighter and tighter, Black wincing as he feels the pressure rising and rising.

Mikey Massacre: Oh shit, they’re gonna need to call in riot squads. The crowd is losing it, Linzi!

Black has had enough, and using his strength he literally powers out of the cloverleaf by throwing Phoenix off of him. He holds himself for a moment though, he’s feeling the effects. Phoenix stands back up and looks around the arena, as the crowd is in an all out brawl. One fan even gets thrown over the barricade and into a pile of chairs at ringside. Phoenix shakes his head.

The Phoenix: Savages. REBEL Pro and their fans are all savages.

Black is out of the ring and has a big bag of goodies from under the ring. He slides back in as Phoenix watches this madness. Black pours out the contents of his bag and it’s thumbtacks! Hundreds of them! Phoenix isn’t some rookie though and can hear Black behind him. Black goes to grab Phoenix, Phoenix side steps out of the way after checking Blacks position on the REBELTron. Phoenix with a short arm clothesline! Black isn’t as phased as Phoenix would’ve hoped. Black grabs Phoenix, high angle spine buster onto the thumbtacks! Ohhhh he’s gonna feel that in the right fucking now.

Mikey Massacre: Jesus! These fans aren’t even watching the match anymore. It’s all hell breaking loose here Linzi.

Linzi Martin: I know and…

A fan jumps the barricade and tries to grab Linzi, but she quickly twists his arm and smashes his face through a small screen at the announcers table.

Linzi Martin: Asshole.

Mikey Massacre: Damn!

Phoenix rolls around on his back, trying to get off all the thumbtacks that are now pricked into him. Black grabs Phoenix by the neck and lifts him right up off the canvas. For a moment the crowd here in Chattanooga all stop to watch the match, people bleeding, drinking, crying… Phoenix kicks and tries to rip himself out of Blacks grip… Black lifts him higher, CHOKESLAM ONTO THE THUMBTACKS! Phoenix thuds hard onto the canvas as Black goes for the pin!

1!

2!!

THRE-KICK OUT!

The crowd BOOOOOOOOOS at this, and immediately all hell breaks loose again as someone gets thrown off a balcony through to a second tier balcony through a table in the crowd. Someone is having their face smashed between two chairs, another person is being bashed with a beer bottle till it’s broken over their head. It’s then we hear police sirens. Black is caught off guard, as Phoenix rolls him up.

1!

2!!

THRE-KICK OUT!

Black elbows Phoenix in the face, and tries flattening him as he covers.

1!

2!!

THREEE-NO! THAT ASSHOLE PHOENIX KICKS OUT!

Riot police begin running in all over the arena, warning people over the loud speaker to calm down. At this point something is lit on fire somewhere in the crowd, people are running around in a panic as they beat each other silly.

Mikey Massacre: HOLY SHIT IT’S LIKE LONDON IN HERE!

Phoenix and Black are up. Phoenix with a Russian leg sweep, driving Black’s face all up in those fucking thumbtacks! A fan with a chair jumps the barricade and runs in! He slides into the ring and Phoenix is all, fuck this guy, kicks the chair out of his hand. The drunk fan now realizes where he is, the idiot. Phoenix hit’s the Flame onto the chair on the fan and this fan rolls out of the ring, mashed out. But this distraction gives Black his chance! Black twists Phoenix around.

Police over Loudspeaker: FIRE!

VINCENT BLACK WITH THE KEG TAP ONTO THE THUMBTACKS ON THE PHOENIX!!! The police begin firing tear gas all over the arena though! A canister hit’s the ring as Black covers!

1!

2!!

…………………

Mikey Massacre: I can’t see!!! DID BLACK WIN?

Linzi Martin: FUCK THIS, MIKEY!

Linzi covers her mouth as she drops her headset and makes a beeline for the entrance ramp, the arena filling with tear gas and the sounds of people getting their ass beat by the cops.

Mikey Massacre: Oh hell.

The referee stumbles around in the ring as we can clearly see, covering his mouth. It’s then we see Phoenix bashing Blacks face with that baseball bat! Phoenix climbs to the top rope… THE ASHES! THE ASHES ON VINCENT BLACK! Phoenix covers!

1!

2!!

3!!!

Mikey Massacre: NO!!! NO!!! THERE IS NO WAY PHOENIX KICKED OUT OF THE KEG TAP!

DING DING DING

Everything falls silent.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… AND STILLLLLLLLLLLL AoWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMP

She can’t even finish as everyone in the arena screams. It’s madness. There’s people brawling everywhere. Phoenix grabs his title and makes a run for the back as Black sits up, fucking pissed off. He looks at the referee but he referee gets hit by a baton from a cop for whatever reason. WHO KNOWS?! IT’S MADNESS!

Mikey Massacre: Uh for Linzi Martin!

Mikey ducks a flying woman who got thrown by some big drunk guy.

Mikey Massacre: This is Mikey Massacre! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

A canister of tear gas lands right onto the announcers table and Mikey makes a run for it as we fade….

*****FEAR*****

[ Static. ]

The scene opens up with an extreme close-up of Patient 4479’s face, leaning back he tilts his head.

Patient 4479: Is it on?

Waiting a few seconds before he leans back in, tapping the camera lens with his finger.

Patient 4479: I can’t tell if it’s on. — The lights on, does that mean it’s on?

Unknown: I don’t know.

Frustrated, Patient 4479 puts his mouth right up to the camera lens, speaking loudly.

Patient 4479: Hellooooo? — Are you on?

Aggravated.

Patient 4479: Let me see it.

We see Patient 4479 grab the now fogged-up camera, flipping it around before finally aiming at the floor. All we can see are his dirty feet from not wearing shoes, it appears as though he has stepped in something brown.

Patient 4479: We’re good.

Unknown: Yeah?

Patient 4479: Yeah, the little red light there, that means it’s on.

Unknown: Oooh, I thought that meant the battery was low.

Patient 4479: No, we’re good. Now set it back up on the tripod and we’ll get ready to shoot the promo. My big live debut.

Unknown: Sure thing.

The camera begins flipping around again, the angle gets upright and we see Patient 4479 calmly walking back and forth in the hallway, humming and dancing, clapping his hands and really just enjoying himself.

Unknown: Uhm,…

Patient 4479: What is it NOW, Dennis? Hm? How hard can it be to operate a JVC?!

Dennis: JVC?

Patient 4479: Yeah, JVC.

Sighing, he walks back to the camera, taking it back up off the tripod and flipping it around.

Patient 4479: It stands for “Junk Video Camera”. I guess, like anywhere else, Rebel Pro spends too much money in some areas and not enough in other areas. They should be spending money on the important things — like video & audio equipment, advertising and talent. I mean, have you seen some of the people in this place?

The camera begins to zoom in and out as Patient 4479 begins pressing buttons.

Dennis: Uhm,…

Patient 4479: Nothing but — self-entitled, rednecks, whores, prima donnas, and all-around psychos — and

that’s just Lisa Seldon. Don’t even get me started on the rest of them.

Short pause before he continues, the camera switches to night-vision.

Patient 4479: Then there’s Violet Harper, she’s in love with Simon Kalis. Or at least I think she is, I don’t know. She’s mad cause Simon has another love interest and he’s showing her any attention.

Dennis: Kalis? You mean that dead skin on your hand?

Patient 4479: Yeah, wait, I mean no! No, Simon Kalis, he’s the guy that “runs the show” around here. — Pfft. — We’ll see about that.

The camera now changes to thermal view.

Patient 4479: Oooh shit, now I’ve done it.

Dennis: No, you just have to…

The camera switches back to normal view.

Patient 4479: Well, look at you. [mockingly] Dennis the camera expert.

Dennis: I used to be a cameraman for Animal Planet.

Patient 4479: Really? Did you ever have to film them, you know — doing it? — Speaking of animals, did I mention that Rebel has a bunch of hillbillies running around? There’s Bubba J, J.T. Whiplash — and you have to watch out for those two, they’re worse than llamas. Leaving their oral excretions everywhere. It’s disgusting.

Short pause while we see Patient 4479 itch the brown stuff on his foot.

Patient 4479: Then you’ve got Lucious Starr, he’s in love with Simon too — he’s not ready to come out of the closet just yet. He’s doing this whole elementary school, puppy dog love bit, where he’s picking on the boy that he likes the most at recess. I think Lucious is going to ask Jaice Wilde to be his maid of honor, problem is Simon has already asked him to be his best man.

Dennis: Jaice sounds like a girls name.

Patient 4479: If I had a girl, I’d want to name her Jaice. That’s a compliment.

Snickers.

Patient 4479: Oh, and I can’t forget Justin Case…

Dennis: Just in case of what?

Patient 4479: No, that’s his name.

Dennis: There is a human being named Justin Case?

Patient 4479: Yeah, and he thinks he “rules” the show, just like Simon does. He‘s going to be the pallbearer, er — ring bearer. He‘s going to be the ring bearer at the wedding.

Dennis: Sounds like a lot of fun. You think you can get an invite, plus one? I love wedding cake.

Patient 4479: I don‘t know. There is a very critical cake-to-person ratio, we have to be careful not to disturb that balance. It has to be maintained. So, if they‘ve already sent out the invites, we‘ll just have to take someone else’s place. — I’ll see if Legion is going to go, I’m sure he has more than enough invitations. [mocking Legion] “For we are many.”

The camera goes black, but we can still hear sound.

Patient 4479: Lastly, there’s Bobby Lee. — He’s another redneck, lives in a trailer, believes he was abducted by intelligent beings from another planet and what have you. They couldn’t have been that intelligent if they were visiting a trailer park in the south. A real fruit cake that Bobby Lee is, completely harmless, for now.

The picture pops back up, the camera stops jostling around and sets up right.

Patient 4479: There! I think we’re ready!!

Patient 4479 walks out in front of the camera and gets ready to shoot his promo.

Patient 4479: Yeah, Rebel Pro is so bad they have to borrow talent from their sister feds and have a “night of champions” just to draw in ratings. How lame. All because they lost Emily Corlen. Too many princesses at the formal and Simon could only pick one. So, he chose the one with the most money and the nicest hair. Sorry Em, you’re just too fat and emotional. She eats when she gets sad and losing her tag titles drove her to an all-you-can-eat-crisco-butter-and-sperm buffet. — Lucious doesn‘t know how lucky he is. — Are you ready yet?

Patient turns around and looks at Dennis.

Dennis: Actually, that’s what I was going to tell you.

Patient 4479: What? — Tell me what?

Throw his hands up in the air.

Patient 4479: Talk ape!

Dennis: We were filming, live, this whole time.

Patient 4479: I would certainly hope so, it’d be kind of strange if we were both dead and the camera was rolling.

Dennis: No, I mean, everyone has been able to hear and see us for the last five minutes.

Patient 4479 gets a puzzled look on his face, then realizes –

Patient 4479: Everyone?

Dennis: Yeah.

Patient 4479: The whole time?

Patient 4479 starts walking towards the camera with a bit of a hustle in his step.

Patient 4479: Quick, shut it off!

Patient 4479 covers the camera with his hand.

Patient 4479: Did I ever tell you about the time Larry Gordon dropped dead in the ring? Things were so bad around here he had to stage a heart attack just to get away…

[ Static again. ]

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

J.T. Whiplash defeats Gabe Shelley in a slobber knocker!
Marvin Wood defeats Vic Wagner and does the Victory Dance!
The Phoenix defeats Vincent Black and as a result there’s a fucking a riot. A RIOT!

*****When It Rains, It Pours*****

As the show opens up, we find a camera aiming at one of the locker room doors. The locker room displaying a name tag of a female nurse from a hospital.

The camera then turns and walks slowly down the hallway, revealing more cards from the same hospital with blood smudges on them.

Mikey Massacre: There appears to be dozens of these all over the place backstage. On the doors of the superstars locker room doors, the floor and…

The camera cuts to the arena, where we can see more cards falling from the ceiling.

Mikey Massacre: What the hell is going on here? Let me see if I can get one of these.

Mikey grabs and shows the camera what appears to be a driver’s license.

Mikey Massacre: I’ve no idea what any of this means but they are pouring from the ceiling like confetti. — What a strange way to open the show here tonight.

Linzi Martin: Spooky!

*****Pucker You Fucker*****

As we come back from commercial we see Simon Kalis standing in the center of the ring, a microphone in hand; but we hear Mikey Massacre speaking at the Announcers’ table.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t believe he’ll do it.

Linzi Martin: It’ll be hot when he does.

Simon clears his throat as he brings the mic up to his mouth.

Simon Kalis: Bubba J you fat ass retarded inbred son of a bitch!… Its time for you to kiss my black ass!

The fans are buzzing as they look around for Bubba J to come out, after all they know he’s here with Vincent Black as they have a chance to win the Rebel Pro Tag Team titles later tonight.

Simon Kalis: Come on Bubba J, or do I need to speak slower so that you can understand me?

V/O: Nah, that’s alright Simon, I understand you just fine.

The Rebel-tron lights up as Bubba J is on the large screen with his locker behind him.

Bubba J: But what I am curious about is the fact why in the hell you want me out there to kiss your black ass.

Simon smirks and speaks.

Simon Kalis: Because you lost fair and square last week and you knew the stipulation going in.

Bubba J smiles as he nods and sucks his teeth in thought.

Bubba J: Yeah, I had nearly forgot the screwjob you pulled, smart Simon, really smart.

He winks at Simon in the ring.

Bubba J: However, I’ve already performed that particular stipulation’s action.

Simon shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: You can lie to these people all you want, but your lips were never on my black ass you inbred redneck.

Bubba J smiles again.

Bubba J: I never said that I kissed your black ass, nor did the stipulation indicate that I had to kiss your particular black ass.; all i…

Simon Kalis: The stipulation was for you to kiss Simon Kalis’ black ass Bubba J and you know it!

Bubba J nods in agreement.

Bubba J: True and don’t ever interupt me again, and for once we actually agree. However, let me show you a bit of footage recorded from the newly reopened Hardcore Drinking… thanks by the way to your substantial cash addition(he laughs) we were able to put in a very delux game room and be sure to go by there after the show for 2 for 1 drink specials.

Bubba J smiles down at Simon.

Bubba J: Now, roll that footage, if you please.

The Rebel-tron slowly dissolves into a room, we now know to be in Hardcore Drinking, where Bubba J is on his knees behind this very lovely and highly attractive black female. The camera pans her up and down showing all of her lovely and barely concealed curves, to focus in on her hunter green thong. J smiles up at the camera before indicating for it to try and get them in the shot together.

Bubba J: So hun, what is your name again?

The girl giggles, making sure to shake what her mama gave her.

Woman: Simon Kalis(pronounced Seymoune Kahlees) and you sir have to kiss my black ass.

J smirks at the camera.

Bubba J: With pleasure Simon, with pleasure.

The camera focuses in on her ass, making sure to blur out what very personal area isn’t covered by the skimpy thong. Bubba J’s lips are planted on her ass as the screen freezes and slowly dissolving back into the live building and shot of him in his locker room.

Bubba J: There ya go, already done and done.

Simon stands there furious, but Bubba J isn’t finished.

Bubba J: Oh and one last thing… fuck you Simon.

The scene fades into nothing as Simon stares at the tron and J’s laughter is heard coming from the speakers.

*****CONSPIRACY Rematch Match!*****
*****Legion versus Justin Case*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first!

The lights in the arena go to black and the heavy bass of ‘Inside’ by NiN kicks in over the sound system. Rising from a hole set in the middle of the stage is Legion, a backlight showing only his silhouette. The arena lights come back up and Legion is joined on stage by members of his congregation and they all make their way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: HE… IS…. LEGION!!!

Legion enters the ring and looks out at the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent! Accompanied to the ring by Hugh Aredone!

” Victory ” by P Diddy and company hits the P.A. Out comes ” The Millennium Game ” Justin Case! He stands at the entrance way, with his manager behind him, as pyro shoots on either side while he raises his oh so talented arms in the very talented air! Case struts down the ramp as Hugh Aredone limpingly lingers behind. He struts to the squared circle with a cockily arrogance that only he can endeavor. Once from inside the ring, he steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd on hand. Whether they like him or not, it does not matter. His manager hits his cane on the apron showing his approval. Jumping off the ropes he prepares for the match pulling on the upper rope as his music ends.

Jenny Jersey: HE IS… THE MILLENNIUM GAME… JUSTIN CASE!!!!

DING DING DING

Case rushes at Legion and spears him into the ropes, but Legion wraps his arm around Case’s head and spins around, DDTing him into the canvas hard. Case rolls away and gets to his feet. Case hops up onto the top turnbuckle and flies off with a missile dropkick, catching Legion square in the face and sending Legion into the corner. Case climbs the turnbuckles, mounting Legion as he begins wailing on him with lefts and rights. One of Legions priests hops up onto the apron and swings his oak staff, the steel skull at the tip bashing Justin Case upside the face. Case falls onto the canvas hard as Legion grabs the staff and moves towards him.

Mikey Massacre: Case using his speed advantage on Legion for the time being, but I think that’s about to change.

Linzi Martin: Case was the first man to defeat the juggernaut that is Legion, will he manage to do it a second time?

Case looks up and puts his hands up to cover his face as Legion swings the staff at his head. Legion changes the direction of the swing at the last second, bringing the skull tip down into Justin’s chest. He begins wailing on Case all over Case’s body, his chest, his ribs and his head until he snaps the staff in half over Cases back as Case crawls away. Case rolls out of the ring and Hugh Aredone walks over to check up on him. Legions priests begins encircling them, but Hugh Aredone stands his ground by shaking his diamond willow cane at them. Case gets to his feet and grabs the cane from Hugh and quickly rolls back into the ring.

Linzi Martin: The equalizer!

Legion rushes at Case who slides under Legion and cracks Legion in the back of his leg with the cane. Case pops up to his feet and cracks it over Legions face not once, not twice, but thrice! Legion stumbles but the powerhouse has yet to fall. Case springboards himself off the top rope and comes spinning around, cracking the cane into Legions throat with a touch of theatrics that the crowd loves. Case grabs Legion, belly to belly suplex! He covers!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Case gets violently thrown off of Legion as Legion immediately sits up, then getting back to his feet. Legion grabs Case from the back of his neck and lifts him right off the canvas with sheer power and strength, holding him up for the world to see. The cameras flash as Legion choke slams Justin Case face first into the canvas. Legion kicks him in the ribs repeatedly to roll Case over before covering.

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!

Legion gets to his feet and then grabs the diamond willow cane left in the ring by Case. As Case gets to his feet he, Legion breaks the cane in half over Justin Case’s face. Case begins bleeding as he stumbles around and he walks right into a big boot from Legion. Legion climbs up to the top turnbuckle and dives off with a head butt right into Justin Case’s heart! He covers him again.

1!

2!!

THR-KICK OUT! CASE KICKS OUT!

Mikey Massacre: Some serious back and forth here, folks.

Linzi Martin: These guys sure do put on an entertaining match when they meet!

Legion gets to his feet but Case kicks his knees out from behind him. Legion falls forward, right into the pure barbed wire that is the middle ropes of the REBEL Pro ring. His neck gets entangled in the barbed wire as Case quickly grabs his legs and locks in the sharpshooter! Case has the sharpshooter locked in! He pulls back and raises the pressure as the referee checks to see if Legion will give out. Legions neck is getting the barbed wire embedded deeper and deeper as Case moves back and forth, rocking himself to apply pressure on and off like a horrible violent tease on Legion.

Linzi Martin: Oh shit!

Mikey Massacre: Legions neck was cut by barbed wire last week, and now the middle ropes are the conduit to that happening all over again!

Linzi Martin: Five bucks says Legion taps.

Mikey Massacre: You’re on.

Case continues to apply tremendous pressure with the move, until two of Legions priests slide into the ring. Case lets go of the move to duck and roll out of the way of a chairshot. Case back to his feet, The Benchmark on one of the priests!!! The priest goes rolling out of the ring in pain, but the other one swings his chair at Case. Case ducks. Legion meanwhile gets himself untangled out of those dangerous barbed wire middle ropes.

Mikey Massacre: The REBEL Pro ring itself, is made to destroy you. You gotta love it!

Linzi Martin: Uh yeah!

Mikey Massacre: You owe me $5.

Linzi Martin: Fu.. Okay.

Case hits Just 2 Talented on the other priest, right into the steel chair! That priest is outta here! Case gets to his feet but Legion grabs onto him- Black Hole Slam! Legion covers!

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!

The crowd is going nuts as Case quickly gets to his feet, bounces off the ropes and comes with a flying shoulder block that takes Legion down! Case with a jackknife pinfall!

1!

2!!

THR-KICK OUT!

Out of the crowd, there comes a man with a lead pipe! He hops the barricade and bashes the pipe across the heads of the last priest who’s still standing. Legion sees him coming into the ring and pushes the referee in front of the pipe as this unknown man swings, cracking the pipe over the referees head. Both him and Justin Case begin attacking Legion full frontal as the referee remains down and out. He bashes Legion over the head in what seems like a million times over to get Legion down and out. Justin Case grabs Legion… JUST 2 TALENTED!!!! JUST 2 TALENTED ON LEGION!! Case covers!

….

….

THERE IS NO REFEREE!

Legion throws Justin Case off of himself and trips this mysterious man out of the ring. The referee is coming to, but Case grabs the lead pipe and swings at Legion. Legion ducks, kicks Case in the gut and hits ENTER BLACKNESS! Legions priests are all back on their feet and they swarm Case’s mystery buddy as Legion covers, the referee finally coming to.

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Legion rolls out of the ring and begins making his way backstage, his priests following him quickly as Case rolls out of the ring.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match…. LEGION!

Mikey Massacre: Legion redeems his first loss here in REBEL Pro, but who’s this guy with Case?

Linzi Martin: That’s a good question, I think we’re about to find out.

” TMG ” slides back into the ring as the two men meet eye to eye. Suddenly they smile as Justin motions for a mic. Is this the ” Plan ” that Case was talking about? ” The Millennium Game ” quiets the crowd as the two men stand in the ring side by side. Case puts the mic to his lips….

JC: Justin Case U didnt know, this was all part of the show! You see, this very talented man beside me has just demonstrated only a fraction of what is to come here in REBEL PRO WRESTLING! You can call this a meeting of the minds but I call it, genius!

Justin Case: You see, while Legion was finding new blood for his new Church Of Misery. While he was trying to torture a man not even remotely related to me, it was yours truly pulling the strings backstage in order to sign this guy right here to a long term contract! And while I wont get into the details just yet as to the full reasoning behind this new attraction. Yours truly can promise you all this. The tag team world of REBEL PRO WRESTLING is in for a long nastly ugly ride! The man to the right of me is a former MMA trained destroyer and World Champion. We trained together back in Canada, and for now that is all you need to know.

Justin Case: Oh, and one more thing. His name is ” Wreckless ” Rocky Logan and you can call us the new number one contenders to the REBEL PRO Tag Team Titles! Bitches beware because the ” Case Filed Rockets ” have come to play. And we are also here to stay!! One former MMA World Champ teaming with another former REBEL PRO World Champ equals COMPLETE DOMINATION!! Its d*cks before chicks, as we will rid this fed of all its female hoes! Just to replace them with 100 percent pure talented Gold. Soon to be the NEW REBEL PRO Tag Team Champions of the World!!

Justin Case: Thats not a threat, thats a promise!!

Case throws down the mic to some feedback as ” Troublesome ’96 ” by Tupac Shakur hits up on the P.A. The new tag team ” Case Filed Rockets ” exit the ring to the boos of the crowd and garbage being hucked in their direction as they proceed backstage.

*****Once You Go Black*****

Backstage we find Simon Kalis and Violet Harper chatting it up. Pretty casual.

SIMON KALIS: So… Violet.

VIOLET HARPER: Just stop.

SIMON KALIS: Don’t you want to go black and then have to make a difficult decision regarding whether or not you want to go back?

VIOLET HARPER: How do you know I already haven’t?

SIMON KALIS: You ever have a limp for a week?

VIOLET HARPER: No.

SIMON KALIS: Then you haven’t.

VIOLET HARPER: Disgusting.

Simon nods.

SIMON KALIS: It’s a black thing.

VIOLET HARPER: Emily Corlen doesn’t know shit when it comes to fire.

SIMON KALIS: Catfight?

VIOLET HARPER: Like burning down a ring is anything special. That’s child’s play.

Simon makes a gulping sound.

VIOLET HARPER: Didn’t you –

SIMON KALIS: Nevermind. Think you can do better than her?

VIOLET HARPER: Just wait and see, Mr. Kalis.

Violet turns around and heads toward her locker room and Kalis looks on with his menacing black guy stare, but he’s only thinking about her with her clothes off.

Simon Kalis: Call me Simon, sweety.

He laughs to himself and turns towards the curtains. Cut back to the ring.

*****The Championship Edition!*****

“Power” by Kanye West hits over the speakers and the crowd gets to their feet, giving out a mixed reaction.

Jenny Jersey: It’s my honour to introduce the acting President of REBEL Pro… He is also one half of the AoWF Tag Team Champions… “THE LAST SUPERSTAR” SIMON KALIS!!!!

Kalis walks out, fresh as ever, fly as fuck in an Armani suit. His suit jacket is unbuttoned, and under his suit jacket we see he‘s wearing the latest Violet Harper t-shirt. He waves to the fans as he makes his way to the ring before quickly climbing in and grabbing the microphone off Jersey.

Simon Kalis: HELLO MEMPHIS!

The crowd all cheers now, Simon is a wily bastard.

Simon Kalis: Forgetting everything that happened earlier tonight with Bubba J…

Bubba gets a rousing response from the crowd and Simon rolls his one good eye.

Simon Kalis: I just wanted to come out here to make a few announcements. Mostly too, I like taking up a lot of air time and it’s not my fault that everyone who works here wants a chance to get on TV with me, while I also get on TV by myself.

He shrugs.

Simon Kalis: What can I say? I’m awesome like this.

He winks.

Simon Kalis: Some people might think I’m fucking crazy for this, but… Well. Here’s the deal. REBEL Pro has a shot at the AoWF Intercontinental Championship next week.

The crowd cheers at this.

Simon Kalis: We need a representative. A man, or a woman… Who will ensure our victory against… Ugh.

He shudders.

Simon Kalis: The Phoenix.

The crowd BOOS incredibly loud and even starts a “PHOENIX SUCKS” chant.

Simon Kalis: Yes. He does fucking suck. He back talks this company, and our wrestlers at every turn and then comes here and half asses every fight. Fuck The Phoenix.

The crowd cheers this loudly.

Simon Kalis: The Phoenix wants to shit on REBEL Pro? Well, that’s why I’ve decided to send a true REBEL to hand him his ass to his fucking Yoohoo sucking face… And so. REBEL Pro is proud to announce, that our representative in the AoWF Intercontinental Championship match is… None other than… The biggest. Baddest motherfucker this side of the AoWF…

Simon pauses for dramatic effect.

Simon Kalis: FROM THE EXTREME ELITE….

Mikey Massacre: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!

Simon Kalis: VINCENT BLACK!!!!!

The crowd goes NUTS and is in complete and utter SHOCK.

Linzi Martin: After all the hate the Extreme Elite has shown Simon… He picks one of them?!?!? WHY???

Simon Kalis: You see. I put the interests of REBEL Pro before myself, and even though Vincent Black is a son of a bitch? He’s still OUR son of a bitch. So next week. WE INTRODUCE TO YOU! THE CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION OF REBEL Pro!

Kalis points to the backstage area.

Simon Kalis: Kill the Phoenix, Black. And if you fail, I’ll kill you.

Kalis drops the microphone and “Power” hits again, as Kalis is given cheers from the entire sold out crowd here in Memphis.

*****The Revenge of Starr*****

Suddenly, Kalis is stopped cold as the REBELtron flickers to life, Lucious Starr tsk-ing as he smiles.

Lucious Starr: Oh, my, Aaron. It’s happened again. It looks like you’ve left your precious protege in peril once again. Man, when the hell are you going to learn??

Lucious moves, allowing the camera to see Masakazu… who is chained to a car. As we zoom out just a bit, we see a car directly behind Starr.

Lucious Starr: Shit, man. I think Kaz was involved in a horrific car accident. I was listening to my police scanner, sounds like he wasn’t watching himself and tripped, fell right between two cars. Sad, really. But these things happen. I mean, at least they happen to you…

Lucious turns, ducking into the car. A door shuts, and the car takes off. Simon drops his mic and runs backstage, in hopes to save his son. The camera cuts back to the parking lot, where the car is bearing down on Kaz. Moments before the inevitable crash, Simon bursts through the door and throws something at the car… his barbed-wire wrapped crowbar. The driver’s side tire pops, and the car spins out of control as Simon jumps in front of his son. The car squeals to a stop, Simon looks up… and the rear bumper is less than an inch from his nose. The car speeds off, Simon kicking in its direction before turning to Masa.

Simon Kalis: What a fucking chav.

Masakazu shakes his head violently, Simon trying to get a hold of the duct tape holding his mouth shut. Just as it rips off, Kaz shouts.

Masakazu: IT’S A TRAP!

Simon is taken aback, looking up just in time… as Lucious rides by on his ducati, throwing a bike chain around Kalis’ neck. He drags Simon across the lot, releasing him to let him slam into a wall. Lucious dismounts his bike, walking over to Simon. Kalis grasps at his throat, starting to one knee. Lucious throws a boot to his face, sending him back to the ground.

Lucious Starr: Pathetic, Aaron. You’re fucking pathetic. I knew you’d run to Kaz, the same way you ran to Redeemer. You’re a little bitch, Aaron, and a predictable one at that.

Lucious pulls out a lead pipe, looking it over. He watches as Kalis gets to one knee, trying to regain his bearings. Lucious stands back, waiting…

Kalis stands, shaking off the sneak attack. He turns around… SMACK! Kalis falls back to the ground, Lucious dropping the lead pipe next to him. He gets down next to Simon, a grin on his face.

Lucious Starr: Let me tell you something, you self-absorbed piece of dog shit. You’re an idiot. A pathetic, worthless, self-loathing idiot. You want to be the man of the AoWF? You want to OWN the AoWF? That’s fine. But I own YOU, you worthless fucktwit. Manitoba Mayhem is your version of Engel’s Sizzler? No, no, no, old friend. It’s going to be Engel’s RPM.

Masakazu: You’re fucking dead, Starr.

Lucious looks over at Kaz, who is struggling to get out of the chains. He looks at Simon, annoyed.

Lucious Starr: Be right back.

Lucious stands, walking over to Kaz. Masa spits in Lucious’ face, the Fury wiping it off and rubbing it in Masa’s hair.

Lucious Starr: Now, I could fuck your day up just as bad as your retard father’s. But I’m going to assume that you’re still under some semi-self allowed psychic hold by your father. You stay the fuck out of mine and your father’s business, and I’ll leave you alone. Stick your nose back into it, and… well, I’ve seen your wife. And if your kid finds himself with a father, I’d be more than happy to tap your wife while raising your kid the RIGHT way…

Masakazu: YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!!

Lucious grins, standing up and walking back to Simon, who is still out from the pipe shot. He bends down, speaking to the elder Kalis.

Lucious Starr: Now, where was I? Oh, right. If you’re lucky, I’ll let you live through Manitoba Mayhem. But I guaran-damn-tee that you’ll be wishing you had all the mobility that Benji does. First, I’m going to beat you within an inch of your life. Then I’m going to cripple you.

Lucious stands, walking off, he turns back, flipping the bird.

Lucious Starr: THEN I’m going to fucking hurt you.

Lucious walks off, Masa yelling for help as he watches his father, who remains limp on the floor.

*****Violet Harper versus Lucious Starr*****

“Fuck You” by Cee Lo Green hits the sound system as Lucious Starr comes out from backstage to roaring jeers from the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first, from Cleveland, Ohio…

Starr makes his way down to the ring, ignoring the stupid Rebel fans.

Jenny Jersey: He stands 6’3″ and weighs in tonight at 253 pounds… HE IS LUCIOUS STARR!

Starr enters the ring and makes his way to his corner, getting ready for the match.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent, from Portsmouth, New Hampshire…

“Gasoline” by Audioslave revs up as the crowd gets on their feet. Violet Harper emerges from backstage with the Aggression Title over her shoulder, raising her right arm in the air as the crowd cheers for her.

Jenny Jersey: She stands 5’8″ and weighs in tonight at 139 pounds…

Violet calmly makes her way down to the ring, smiling to the fans and giving a few of them high fives in the front row. She climbs up the steps and into the ring.

Jenny Jersey: She is the current Rebel Pro Aggression Champion… VIOLET… HARPER!!!

She raises the title high into the air as the crowd pops again. She hands the title off to the referee, who hands it to the timekeeper. The bell sounds.

DING DING!

Harper and Starr circle each other in the ring. Harper starts off with a few stiff kicks to Starr’s leg and then goes against the rope. She tries for a running enziguri but Starr ducks and Violet crashes to the mat. Starr takes Violet down with a german suplex. Another german suplex. The third lands Violet into the turnbuckles, pretty harsh. Starr hip tosses Harper to the mat and then goes against the rope – knee drop to the throat of Harper. Starr makes a cover.

1..

2..

Kick out!

The crowd boo’s Starr for trying to end the match too quickly.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Lucious Starr is getting no love here tonight.

LINZI MARTIN: And why should he? He’s been nothing but trouble.

Starr brings Violet to her feet and whips her into the ropes. Harper runs back and Starr executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker with ease. Then Starr climbs to the top rope showing his agility, landing a shooting star leg drop on Violet. Another cover.

1..

2..

Kick out!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Violet is showing her resiliency, but Starr is starting off impressive.

LINZI MARTIN: No doubt he’s the more experienced of the two, but Violet is a tough chick!

Starr gets up to his feet as does Violet. Starr lands a few chops on Violet’s chest and then gives her a thrust kick to the chest sending her into the turnbuckles. Starr goes for a corner splash but Violet moves out of the way just in time. Violet connects with a roundhouse kick to the back of Starr’s head! Violet slams Starr face-first into the turnbuckle, and another for good measure. Violet sends Starr into the ropes. Starr counters with an attempted lariat off the ropes but Violet does the splits and ducks right underneath it, bouncing back up with a jumping side kick catching Starr right in the jaw and putting him against the ropes. Violet runs and leaps, hitting a cross body on Starr as they both go over the top rope and splash to the outside!

MIKEY MASSACRE: It’s about to get interesting Linzi. We’re gonna see how tough Lucious Starr really is. This ain’t P dubya A!

LINZI MARTIN: No it ain’t Mikey!

Starr gets to his feet and gives Violet a kick to the gut. Starr throws Violet into the barricade. He does it again and then he throws her into the steel steps. Violet gets to her feet and ducks a punch from Starr, slamming her knee into his gut and then slams Starr’s face into the steel steps! Violet leaps off the steel steps with an enziguri and connects! Starr falls on his back from the impact. Violet gets to her feet, bringing Starr up to her feet as the Rebel Pro crowd is going crazy. The referee is just watching because count outs are for pussies. Violet springboards off the barricade and connects with another kick to the back of Starr’s head. Violet then slams Starr face-first onto the apron and whips him toward the ringpost – he connects face-first!

Linzi Martin: YEAH! Girl power!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Violet is really taking it to Starr outside the ring.

Violet closes in on Starr but Starr gives her a kick to the gut and then quickly delivers a running powerbomb right onto the arena floor! Violet looks devastated from the impact and Starr gets to his feet, running Violet into the ring. Starr makes the cover!

1..

2..

KICK OUT!!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Another close one as Starr makes a third pinfall attempt, but unable to put our Aggression Champion away.

LINZI MARTIN: She’s tough, but Starr seems to be wearing her down.

Violet is clutching at her back and Starr brings her to her feet. He whips her to the ropes and she smashes into the turnbuckles. Starr puts her on the top rope. Starr is going for the Grim Reaper, his signature sit-out powerbomb from the top rope, but Harper counters with a hurricanrana sending Starr from the top rope crashing down to the mat!

MIKEY MASSACRE: What a reversal by Violet Harper! She did her homework!

LINZI MARTIN: She’s awesome!

MIKEY MASSACRE: You gonna marry her? She lives close enough to Massachusetts.

LINZI MARTIN: No! I just think she’s great!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Uh huh, so THAT’S why you don’t so close to me.

LINZI MARTIN: Yeah, Mikey, clearly that’s the only reason why.

Violet is getting to her feet as is Starr. Violet ducks a clothesline from Starr and gets met with a spinning backfist from Violet. Violet returns a few knife-edge chops on Starr and then kicks him in the gut, taking him down with a swinging neckbreaker. Violet hops onto the top rope, springboarding off with an Asai moonsault and connecting right on Starr! She covers him quickly.

1..

2..

KICK OUT!

LINZI MARTIN: And Violet finally makes an attempt to win the match, but Starr kicks out just after the two.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Starr was dominating the first part of the match but Violet is coming back.

Starr gets up to his feet with the ropes and gives a charging Violet a kick to the ribs. Starr uppercuts her with his right knee and then takes her down with a brainbuster suplex! Starr doesn’t go for the pin, but brings Violet back up to her feet and slams his fist into her pretty face several times, then throwing her into the corner. Starr lays into her with lefts and rights, connecting in her stomach and on her face. Violet gets busted open at the nose, blood pouring out from her right nostril.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And she’s cut! Violet’s cut!

LINZI MARTIN: Come on Violet! You can do it girl!

Starr takes her down with a double underhook suplex. Starr goes for a pin.

1..

2..

KICK OUT!!

Starr shakes his head.

LUCIOUS STARR: COME ON! GIVE UP!

Starr brings her up to her feet. Starr tries for the Hell’s Wrath but Violet slips out of the suplex and lands behind Starr. Violet delivers a bicycle kick right to Starr’s chest, knocking him over the top rope! Unbelievable strength from the Aggression Champion!

MIKEY MASSACRE: The crowd is going crazy here!

Starr is getting to his feet but Violet leaps over the top rope with hang time and connects with a cross body on Starr! Violet gets up to her feet and gives Starr repeated kicks to the ribs and even lands one in the groin area, much to the referee’s dismay. But this is Rebel, and if dudes can get an M-80 to the balls, they can get a girl’s boot to the balls. Violet begins to destroy Starr on the outside with kicks and punches and then finishes Starr off with a kick to the head that smashes Starr’s head against the ringpost! Starr falls to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Violet reaches for something underneath the ring! It’s a fire extinguisher!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Here we go! This is why Rebel loves her! She knows how to get crazy!

LINZI MARTIN: Wait..is she?

Yes she is. Violet hands Linzi the fire extinguisher.

Violet Harper: You’ll know when to use it!

She gives Linzi a wink. Linzi likes it.

MIKEY MASSACRE: You guys should totally be in this film I’m shooting…

LINZI MARTIN: Shut up Mikey!

Violet goes back to Starr and gives him a running kick to the face. Violet grabs one more thing from underneath the ring – a container of lighter fluid. Uh..oh. Violet pours the lighter fluid all over the announcer’s table!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh crap! She’s pouring the rest on herself! What the fuck is she doing?!

LINZI MARTIN: I.. I don’t know! This is insanity!

Violet grabs Starr who gives Violet a elbow to the gut. Starr shoves Violet away, trying to regain himself, but Violet connects with a dropkick on Starr laying him across the announcer’s table! It’s almost perfect! Violet has a crazy look in her eyes and she walks over to Starr, while waving away MIKEY MASSACRE and LINZI MARTIN. She gives Starr…a kiss on the forehead?

LINZI MARTIN: This is bizarre.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Jealous?

Linzi isn’t amused, and Violet is back in the ring. She climbs to the top rope…and Starr is managing to get to his feet on the announcer’s table. Violet pulls out a lighter.

MIKEY MASSACRE: SHE’S GONNA BLOW US UP!

But Violet does the unthinkable. She lights her clothes on fire! The crowd is eating this shit up! THEY’RE GOING CRAZY! VIOLET IS GOING CRAZY! WHAT THE HELL! VIOLET LEAPS OFF THE TOP ROPE AND CONNECTS WITH THE PURPLE HAZE ON STARR THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE, ENGULFING THEM BOTH IN FLAMES AS THEY BLOW THE TABLE UP!

LINZI MARTIN: OH FU—

She doesn’t even finish her curse. She sprays them both immediately with the fire extinguisher. Amazing, Violet finds the strength to roll Starr over and drape an arm over him. The referee is shocked, but habitually drops to the ground.

1…

2…

3!!!

DING DING DING!!!

JENNY JERSEY: Your winner of the match by pinfall… VIOLET… HARPER!!!!

The crowd is silent for a moment, waiting for a signal from Violet. Anything. To let them know their champion is okay. Violet is struggling to get to her feet… and she looks a little on the well-done side. Her hair is all messed up and burnt. Her clothes are nearly burnt off leaving her sexy lingerie pretty much hanging out there for everyone to see. Who wrestles in that? She seems to have some burns on her arms…but…she’s conscious…and it’s amazing. Starr however, is not.

MIKEY MASSACRE: THAT WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!

LINZI MARTIN: I LOVE YOU VIOLET!

MIKEY MASSACRE: I knew it!

Violet wobbles and slides into the ring…the referee slides with her and throws a blanket that just happened to be handy over her. Her hand gets raised as “Gasoline” blares loudly, but not as loud as the crowd cheering her on. Violet asks for a mic.

VIOLET: That was for you, Rebel! I just wanted you to know…I… fuck me. That was crazy. What I’m trying to say is that I’m willing to do anything to show the rest of the community that Rebel Pro is number one!

The crowd pops harder than a teenage zit. But Violet isn’t done.

VIOLET: And that was also for you, Emily. THAT’S HOW YOU BLOW SHIT UP!

The crowd cheers her on more, as she gives a crazy smile, trying to fix her messed up burnt hair. Nothing she’s doing is working to fix that problem.

VIOLET: Any moron with a pack of matches can burn down a ring, no offense Simon. Takes balls of steel to do what I just did. Let’s see you top that, Big Bird.

Harper tosses the mic as the crowd cheers her on again. She slowly climbs out of the ring as Starr is finally getting up to his feet, not knowing what the fuck happened.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And Violet does it again, beating PWA Tag Team Champion and all-around douchebag extraordinaire Lucious Starr. Can anyone stop her?

LINZI MARTIN: I.. I love her.

MIKEY MASSACRE: That’ll do, Linzi.

*****A Beautiful Teaser*****

We come back from commercial and we’re set for the next match but the lights go out. A long pink light shines on the stage as the big screen starts to flash numbers across. ’8. 22. 11.’ and then the words “Life is full of beauty. Notice it, next week.”

*****REBEL Pro World Tag Team Championship Match*****
*****Hardcore Entertainment versus Lisa Seldon & Emily Corlen©*****

Outside Lisa is whipped to the rail but manages to catch it under her feet, stepping up and then flipping herself into a backflip over Bubba’s head. He turns around and walks into a kick in the gut, followed by one under the chin and then a Legsweep to drop him to the ground. Bubba sits up and sees Lisa’s foot coming right at his head as she puts it on his face, pushes forward and shatters his head off the concrete floor. Inside the ring Emily has black off the mat and in the corner, where she lights him up with lefts and rights. She then grabs an arm and wings him to the opposite corner, letting him before charging across, only to run straight into a Big Boot. Emily staggers back and Black runs her down with a Lariat, whipping her right down into the canvas.

Lisa gets Bubba up and flattens his chest with a Push Kick, sending him into the rail. Lisa then tries to charge him down with a Roundhouse but he catches her leg, turns and swings her like a Baseball bat into and over the rail. Meanwhile Black puts Emily down with a Bodyslam, hits the ropes and comes down on top of her with a big Legdrop. He then swings over into the cover.

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2

Emily kicks and Black slides off her. Meanwhile Bubba is outside the ring gathering the good from under the ring, and slides a few of the more choice items in. Black starts with a bat in barbedwire, twirling in his hand as he makes his way back to Emily. She gets up to all fours and Black drops on top of her, straddling her back and digging the barbs into her skull. Outside Bubba gets on a run, steps off a chair and throws himself into what would best be described as a Suicide Dive.

Bubba and Lisa collide and skid through a sea of chairs. Bubba comes down on top of her but Lisa flips him off and the two scramble back to their feet, with Lisa coming up and winging a chair at Bubba that bends around his head. He shrugs it off though and catches another one coming from Lisa in a high arc. Lisa tries to pull it back but Bubba snaps to the side, sending her to the floor and giving him the weapon to bring down on top of her gut. He then swings for a second but Lisa kicks it back and sends him away. She then scrambles to her feet and waits for him to go again, allowing her to get a foot up and smash their chair back into his face. It wobbles him again and she takes off at him in a run, but Bubba absorbs the blow, turns and hurls her through a mess of chairs that break beneath her. He then wades in after. Back in the ring Vincent has Emily on her back.

Black comes up with the bat and brings it down over her face, only for her to roll out of the way and let it stick to the mat. He has trouble pulling it free, allowing Emily to get to her feet and catch him with a Toe Kick up under the jaw to send him away. She then grabs the first thing at hand, which happens to be a large metallic bin, and sticks it over his head. Vincent tries to get it off but finds it stuck, allowing Emily to tear the bat free and smash it into the bin, denting it back into his face. Black goes down and Emily goes off on him, bringing it down over and over again with shots about his body and head. She then tosses the bat aside and hits the ropes, firing herself back into a Senton on top of him.

In the crowd Bubba extracts Lisa from a mess of chairs and gives her a stiff right hand that sends her to the rail. A gob of blood and spit flies from her lips, but she keeps it together and gets her legs up as he comes in, wrapping them around his head and trapping his arm in a Triangle before falling back over the rail. Bubba tries to fight her off but Lisa wraps her hands around the back of his head and squeezes his throat into the rail. Back in the ring, Emily gets Vincent up and into a Snap Suplex that brings him down into a barbedwire board, the strands tangling and biting into them as he tries to fight his way out. He doesn’t get far though as Emily grabs another one and drops it on top of him, wire side down. Emily then preps him with a few stomps before taking to the ropes, raising her hands and then coming off the second with a Double Stomp, cracking the top board under the impact and twisting a mess of wire into his skin.

Emily rolls through to her feet and turns back to Black (lol), tearing off the top board and taking several bits of him with it before she sinks into the pin.

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2

Vincent kicks, the wire biting into him again as he pulls himself free of the pin. Outside the ring Lisa finally lets go her hold and drops to the mats. Bubba hangs over the rail slipping in and out of consciousness while Lisa makes her way back to the ring.

Emily pulls Black free and pushes him toward Lisa, who catches his head, pulls him down and rips through his face with a knee. This snaps black up and allows Lisa to send him stumbling back with a Push Kick, right into the hands of Emily who locks around his waist, leans back and buries him with a German Suplex. The force however stops her holding the bridge, forcing her to turn over into the pin. Lisa keeps guard.

1

2

Black kicks again and Emily clambers to her knees, a little perturbed as she wipes away the blood dripping down her forehead. She keeps her resolve though and lifts him up while Lisa takes off to the apron. Emily gets behind Black and turns him toward Lisa, who jumps up with an attempted Springboard, only to be caught by Bubba and pulled down, cracking her jaw off the apron. Emily is momentarily taken back, allowing Black to reach back and crack her with an Elbow. He then moves in behind her and secures a standing Rear Naked Choke, giving Bubba time to slip into the ring. Once he does, black drops the hold and kicks Emily forward to Bubba, who cracks her wide open with a huge Roundhouse Swing of a chair.

Emily goes to fall but Black catches her around the waist and drops her to the floor. He then grabs her legs for a Wheelbarrow and lifts, sending her to Bubba who flips her off, turns and then jacks her jaw with the Trailer Park Trash.

Black then grabs the cover.

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2

Lisa slides in at the last second, slipping through Bubba’s legs and managing to tag Black with an Elbow to break the cover. Bubba sets on her immediately and turns to give her the bum’s rush out of the ring, but Lisa turns it around and sends him in his place. Bubba only goes as far as the apron though, unbeknownst to Lisa who goes after Black with a Punt Kick to the head as he was still hanging over Emily. Lisa then lets him get up before she tags him with a few lefts and rights, ending with a Rolling Solebut before she hits the ropes, only to run into a big right hand from Bubba that leaves her wobbled. Black steps in and catches her stumbling back with a Northern Lariat, putting her on the canvas. Emily meanwhile rolls under the ropes to recover.

Black and Bubba lift Lisa off the mat by her arms and whip her into the corner. Bubba then whips Black after her sending him in with a Big Boot that misses the mark and leaves him straddled on the top-rope. Bubba then comes next and Lisa passes him by, letting him collide with his partner as she makes for the opposite corner, steps off and then charges back at a run that allows her to run up Bubba and step off him with a Tiger Wall Flip.

Lisa lands on a knee and Bubba runs forward to grab her, only for Lisa to roll through, leap from the mat and land feet first on Vincent Black to take him over with a Monkey Flip. Black rolls away and begins to get to his feet as Bubba comes at Lisa again, only to be caught hand in hand in a single Knuckle Lock. He swipes at her with his free hand but Lisa steps under, brings up her leg and cracks him around the side of her head, leaving her wobbled long enough for Lisa to take a run up the corner. Black gets into position and Lisa leaps off, wrapping her ankles around his head and twisting down to send them both across the mat with a Lucha Roll.

Lisa gets to her feet and spies Bubba in the corner. She then charges him down with a Yakuza Kick, snapping his head back and sending the spit flying, but Bubba manages to hold onto her leg, allowing Black to rush up from behind and crack her across the back of the head with a Double Axe-Handle Smash. Lisa’s head goes fuzzy and Bubba uses the moment to pick her up, using his under leg hook to bring her off the mat and smash her into the canvas with a Modified Powerbomb. Bubba and Black then go looking for props.

Bubba secures two chairs while Black gathers up a mess of light tubes all bundled together with electrical tape. The fans let out a cheer.

Bubba sets up the chairs seat to seat and Black bridges them with the tubes before the two set back on Lisa. Bubba pulls her up by the head and gets socked in the gut for his troubles, but he follows up by burying a knee in her gut and then tossing her to Black. The two then lift her end to end; Bubba securing a Wheelbarrow as Black puts his hands up under her shoulders. The two then lift, pushing her straight into the air and off to the side, putting her high into the lights and giving her a few seconds to think about it before she plummets back down.

Lisa hits and the glass explodes, sending shards and gas spewing up like a volcano. Lisa bounces from the mat and staggers out on pure instinct, right into Black who floors her with a Big Boot. He then sinks down for the cover.

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2

And this time its Lisa’s turn to kick out, her shoulder shooting off the mat as she turns to her front. Black shakes his head but comes up after her, latching his hand into her hair and easily pulling her off the mat. He then buries a big Uppercut into her gut with enough force to lift her from the mat before he turns around and sends her to Bubba, who comes up with a barbedwire chair and brings it down on the top of her head with a crack that resounds through the arena. Lisa rocks and then drops to her knees. A single drop of blood slowly weeps down her forehead.

Unperturbed, Bubba lifts Lisa up by the hair, her already bright red locks slowly beginning thickening as a cut forms on the top of her head. Bubba then pitches her to the corner and rams the chair edge first into her gut to double her over. Bubba then jumps out of the way as Black comes in with a Boot, crushing her head against the buckle, before stepping back and allowing her to hang out over the chair. She doesn’t get long to rest though as Black kicks out the chair, letting her fall to the mat before he drags her out and into the cover.

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Once more she kicks, much to the shock of Hardcore Entertainment. Black gets her p though and sends her back to the corner where he grinds her face beneath a boot. Bubba meanwhile lets her go and turns his attention to a sheet of glass that causes the fans to rise.

It’s a bit of a struggle but Black eventually manages to get the sheet of glass up and leaned against the second turnbuckle. Bubba then signals to Black. Vincent then pulls Lisa out of the corner and sets her up between his legs for a Powerbomb. He then points down to the glass.

Black rips Lisa off the mat and onto his shoulders, but Lisa fights back by digging the point of her elbow into the top of his head to break his grip. She then drops off behind him and rolls through a Clothesline attempt from Bubba. Lisa then winds up in the ropes and uses them to get her feet. She then drops down with the top one in her hands, low bridging Black to the outside. Bubba tries next and runs into a kick that he just manages to catch and toss back. Lisa tries to flip through but her foot catches the ropes, causing her to drop straight down and crack her head off the mat.

Black slides back under the ropes and joins Bubba dropping stops on Lisa’s back. He then gets Lisa up in the Wheelbarrow and turns her toward Bubba but she immediately shoots a blast of green mist into his eyes to send him back. Lisa then throws herself forward and grabs Black’s legs for a Victory Roll, sending him into Bubba and leaving them in a heap. Lisa jumps up as Bubba sinks to a knee and Vincent drops to all fours, giving Lisa the perfect platform to run up and smash Bubba with a Shining Wizard.

Bubba goes down and Lisa snatches up Black, catching him in a clinch and then brutalising him with knees to the head that he struggles to shake off. Lisa hits four and then leans back into a fifth, bringing it up and through his face, opening up a gash that sprays blood across the ring as his

head snaps back. Black then falls into the corner and Lisa charges forth with a Kick straight up through his jaw. Black sinks to the corner and Lisa goes wild with kicks, holding the ropes for support as she fires into shots to his face again and again. Bubba tries to get back into it but Emily pulls him to the outside, leaving Lisa to fire of feral shots anywhere she can get space.

Lisa finally lets him up and rattles him with two shots before turning with a Spinning Back Elbow that tears through the side of his head. Black goes fuzzy for a moment but shakes it off, allowing him to grab the back of her head and pull down, smashing it off the canvas. Black then drops to a knee over her, but keeps himself together and comes back up with Lisa between his hands. He then bounces her off the ropes and draws her back in to a series of body blows that send her left and right before one crumples her to the mat. Black then leans in and buries a knee into her face.

Bubba holds Emily back as Black moves in for the kill, but Lisa shakes her head no and comes up with a Roaring Elbow as Black tries to lift her. Lisa then rushes forward, cracking him first with a Spinning Backfist that brings

him down to a knee. Lisa then thumps both fists to the mat, comes up and buries a Buzzsaw Kick deep through the side of his skull.

Black teeters forward and face plants into the mat. Lisa then rolls him for the cover.

1

Outside the ring Emily tries to hold Bubba back but he throws her into the rail…

2

He slides in…

… and just breaks the count of three.

Emily ruses in and pulls bubba down by the leg, allowing Lisa to catch him with a kick. Emily then picks him up off the mat and Lisa tags him with a Spinning Back Kick that turns him back toward Emily who thumps him with the Skullcracker. Lisa then charges forward with a Flying Knee, crashing into Bubba and sending the two of them over the ropes.

Lisa and Bubba get back to the fun of tossing chairs at each other and fighting out into the crowd, leaving Emily to clean up. She begins by pulling Black off the mat and throwing him to the ropes and then catching him on the return, dragging him up into her arms and whirling around before she buries him with the Spiral Twister. She then leans back to hook the leg.

1

2

And he throws up a shoulder, much to Emily’s chagrin.

Emily picks him up again and her eyes turn toward the sheet of glass. Emily then grabs Black from behind, hooking both his arms behind him and preparing to lift him up but Black kicks his legs and keeps himself grounded. Emily tries again but Black leans toward to take her off balance and then throws his head back, cracking her in the face.

The two stagger but Black keeps himself standing and drops Emily with a kick. He then grabs her up pulls her into the air for a Powerbomb but Emily fights back with a series of punches. Black whoever keeps his head clear, turns her toward the glass and then hammers her down with the New Hope, ripping her through the glass that shatters up and rips through her skin.

Emily splinters against the mat and Black leans in over the top of her.

1

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3!

DNG DING DING

*****The Confederate Copperhead*****

“Born This Way” by Lada GaGa hits as Jeremy Gold steps out to quite a few cheers from the crowd. He makes his way to the ring and slides in, grabbing a microphone.

Jeremy Gold: As you all saw earlier tonight, a terrible, terrible thing happened.

Once again, as on the pay-per-view, and last week’s Aggression taping, the lights go out again as the fans start buzzing in anticipation with Jeremy Gold in the ring. We can hear him shivering with fear as he drops his microphone and it thumps on the canvas.

Mikey Massacre: I really hope we don’t see any more snakes tonight…

Linzi Martin: I just hope this isn’t what I think it is.

While the lights are out, the bag-pipe solo at the start of “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play over the P.A. system as the fans keep buzzing in anticipation. Suddenly, the lights come back on and we hear “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd playing over the P.A. system as the fans just erupt in cheers upon hearing that familiar music as Jeremy Gold is shaking his head in fear.

Mikey Massacre: Could it be who I think it is?

Linzi Martin: Nothing like Lynyrd Skynyrd to get all the hicks excited…

Just then, we see a black and gold 1984 Buick Grand National head down the ramp with a Rebel flag on the antenna. When it comes to a stop and the door opens, we see a man in a straw cowboy hat with a Johnny Cash T-shirt with the image of Cash giving the camera the middle finger and acid-wash jeans with cowboy boots. When he removes his hat and lifts his head up, we see that it’s none other than “The Confederate Copperhead” J.T. Whiplash as the fans just erupt into a loud ovation in the heart of “Whiplash Country”.

Mikey Massacre: HE’S BACK! I can’t believe it! J.T, Whiplash has returned home like a modern day prodigal son!

Linzi Martin: What is HE doing here? Get him out of here!

Whiplash takes a moment to soak in the ovation with tears in his eyes and a smile before he pulls himself together and tags hands with a few fans on his way to ring-side. Jeremy Gold is shaking his head in fear as Whiplash looks out at Gold with a devilish grin. Gold then takes a microphone and irately addresses Whiplash.

Jeremy Gold: NO! NO! NO! YOU are NOT welcome here! Get him out of here… SECURITY! Get him out of here!

Whiplash looks at Gold in a perturbed manner before he kicks him between the legs and hoists him up for a piledriver before dropping him on his head, knocking him out cold as Whiplash gets up and pounds his chest to another ovation.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t think Jeremy Gold is going to be feeling so eccentric after getting dropped on his head like that!

Linzi Martin: What a blatant show of disrespect by J.T. Whiplash! If he treats authority figures this way, how will he treat the rest of the roster?

J.T. then grabs Jeremy Gold by the neck-tie and screams loudly in his face.

J.T. Whiplash: THIS. IS. MY. HOUSE! YA UNDERSTAND ME, SON? MY HOUSE! NOW GIT OUTTA MY DAMN RING!

At that moment, J.T. throws a lifeless Jeremy Gold over the top rope as the fans chant “WEL-COME HOME! WEL-COME HOME!” J.T. smiles upon hearing this as he takes the microphone and begins to speak.

J.T. Whiplash: As ol’ Dorothy said in th’ “Wizard Of Oz”… there’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! There’s. NO. PLACE… like HOME! An’ J.T. Whiplash is here, live an’ in livin’ color on yer television sets once again makin’ more returns than a Larry Gordon check!

The fans erupt upon hearing this as Whiplash continues.

J.T. Whiplash: Welp, now that we got that mushy stuff outta th’ way… let’s git down to bid-ness! First of all, I stand here today a bit humbled by this reception y’all have a-given me here in my stompin’ grounds of good ol’ Rocky Top… WOOOO!!!… Rocky Top, Tennessee!

As the fans cheer for the reference of the Tennessee Volunteers, J.T. holds his hand up and starts to speak.

J.T. Whiplash: I wanna take this opportunity to tell y’all here in th’ audience, all of y’all in the back, an’ all th’ staff that I am sorry for a-lettin’ y’all down like I have. I don’t deny I got a truckload of demons an’ I ain’t always been th’ best at a-managin’ ‘em. It’s come back to bite me a few times here. Yeah, I know I’m a total screw-up… I’ve pissed away a lotta opportunities in my life. Well, boys an’ girls, startin’ today… I ain’t a-gonna piss away no more opportunities! It’s time fer me to be th’ leader here I know I’m capable of a-bein’. I know damn well I ain’t gotta lotta time left here in this bid-ness, or hell… maybe even my life! I’m 51 years old and have abused th’ hell outta myself fer years an’ I KNOW I’m on borrowed time. But I’m a-bound an’ determined to have one last good run left in me!

The fans cheer loudly upon hearing this as Whiplash continues.

J.T. Whiplash: Now… let’s git down to a-talkin’ ‘bout good ol’ Bubba J! Now Bubba… ya had some purty strong words to say ‘bout me an’ I got every right to possum-stomp yer fat, bald ass so hard that yer grand-kids would be born unconscious! But… ya wanna know where I stand? Brother… I’m ALL REBEL, baby! I’m a-gonna bleed buckets of blood, cash my checks, snap some necks, cracks some backs, and make some livers quiver as I rearrange yer faces with style an’ grace! An’ if ya don’t dig this mess, then yer at th’ wrong address! Ya seem to be a-fergettin’ that I’m th’ original show-stoppin’, pill-poppin’, hell-raisin’, skirt-chasin’, quick-thinkin’, liquor-drinkin’, pulse-poundin’, heart-racer, th’ scarred face hit-maker, th’ record-breaker, th’ innovator, th’ motivator, th’ commentator-complicator, th’ reflection of perfection, th’ number one selection, th’ man of th’ hour, th’ man with th’ power, too sweet to be sour, sizzlin’ like T-bone steak, sweeter than a German chocolate cake, I can make a rich woman beg, a good woman steal, an old woman blush, an’ a lil’ girl squeal! And while yer in th’ back, a-laughin’ an’ a-jokin’… I’m in th’ ring… drinkin’ an’ smokin’… WOOOO!!!

J.T. gets on his knees and addresses Bubba J, literally shaking with rage.

J.T. Whiplash: Ya wanna know if I got what it takes to stick around? Ya wanna try to yank th’ chain of “The Confederate Copperhead”, do ya? DO YA? Well, son… yer a-gonna find out what I’m all ‘bout soon ‘nuff! I’m Southern-born, Southern-bred, an’ BY GOD WHEN MY REBEL ASS DIES… I’LL BE SOUTHERN-DEAD! Ya wanna see what I’m a-capable of, do ya? Well, I’m a-gonna be leavin’ a trail of blood, sweat, an’ tears in my wake! I don’t give two squirts of piss if yer Bubba J, that angry black mental midget Simon Kalis, that whiny lil’ bitch Emily Corlen, that dumb gothic goof Legion, that village whore Violet Harper, th’ lean, mean lispin’ machine Lisa Seldon, or even Bobby Lee… if ya got th’ hair on yer peaches… git ready fer a lesson in ass-kickin’ 101, with professor J.T. Whiplash! So… REBEL Pro… y’all brang ‘em to me, I’m a-gonna keep knockin’ ‘em down an’ raisin’ a lil’ hell along th’ way! Now I gotta titty bar to hit… th’ lessons start next week, boys an’ girls!

J.T. tosses the microphone into the crowd as he climbs out of the ring and tags hands with all the fans around ring-side as they chant “J-T-WHIP-LASH! J-T-WHIP-LASH!” as “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system.

Mikey Massacre: What an emotional, riveting speech by J.T. Whiplash! Love him or hate him… you can’t deny these REBEL Pro fans LOVE him like one of their own.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, yeah, yeah… let’s see if he last two weeks!

We fade out to one last shot of J.T Whiplash slapping hands with the fans as he makes his way backstage…

*****The World‘s A Stage*****

“I Started A Joke” by The Bee Gees begins to play throughout the arena as the lights go out and the audience is left with nothing but the dark glow from the REBELtron. The lights stay down, just for a minute, and when they come back up…

…The air is littered with playing cards, falling like confetti from the ceiling. A maniacal laughter can be heard over the speakers as a single image appears on the REBELtron…

…The cackling and downpour of cards continues as the show fades to black.

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Legion defeats Justin Case and then there’s a big surprise! A WRECKLESS SURPRISE!
Violet Harper defeats Lucious Starr in a fiery blast of sexiness!
Hardcore Entertainment defeats Emily Corlen & Lisa Seldon and become New Tag Team Champions!

*****BOMBS AWAY!*****
***So much for my revenge, eh?***

A loud rumbling is heard as a Harley Davidson Chopper motorcycle pulls into the parking lot of the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Nashville, Tennessee. A helmeted man steps off his Harley, pulling off his helmet to reveal a Confederate Flag wearing bandana and a fairly fresh scarred appearance; it is that of Bubba J. He looks around as he walks over to where he finds Masakazu watching him from the back door, where he enjoys a smoke before heading in with his father(who is already inside). Bubba J looks around and notices what he isn’t looking for.

Bubba J: What, no help Masakazu?”

Masa continues smoking his cigarette as he glares at Bubba J with contempt on his face; J just shrugs.

Masakazu: Hey man, what happened at Victory was just business man, you know how it is ri-

J lashes out with a fist, but Masa avoids the blow easily enough, but J is a bit quicker in kicking Masakazu right in the balls(the damn dirty fighter). J gets down in his face, Masa is gasping for breath as anyone would be who got kicked right in the balls.

Bubba J: I’ve done a bit to Simon, he’s done it right back to me. However, you were in on that little escapade back when I was sidelined for several months and this…”

He indicates Masakazu’s predicament.

Bubba J: Is just business, your dad’ll understand.”

He spits on Masakazu.

Bubba J: But I don’t give a fuck if he don’t either. Time to raise the hardcore factor of Rebel Pro and well I know that camera is recording and my time to play is just about half-way gone before those inept guards come out here and ruin my fun…”

He pulls out a sharp razor blade, cutting down Masa’s shirt before he has a chance to do anything. Masa begins to fight back, but J lifts him up, sending him on top of a car’s hood with a spinebuster. J once again gets back in his face.

Bubba J: Now, I was just gonna slice and dice a bit, but I do have something else I can do.”

He climbs up on the hood, dropping Masa onto the roof with a piledriver and beginning to pick up the pace.

Bubba J: Damn guards, always wanna ruin the fun.

J slides off the car as Masa lays there unconscious and heads to his pack on the Harley. J digs in there and pulls out a set of firecrackers and the ever present lighter. J takes the razor and slices through Masa’s pants before ramming the set of firecrackers right onto Masa’s genitals.

Bubba J: Don’t go and get all happy Masa, cause this… ain’t gonna sting…”

He looks down at the firecracker as he lights the tiny fuse and smirks.

Bubba J: Its gonna fucking hurt.”

The guards rush out, having been alerted, as J walks in pointing over his shoulder.

Bubba J: Bombs away boys, but I don’t think you’ll make it in time.”

He whistles as he heads past them and into the door as we hear loud popping and screaming coming from Masakazu.

Mikey Massacre: Those seemed to be M-80s!

Linzi Martin: I don’t think there’ll be any more babies in Masa’s near future, nor any relaxing sexual action.

*****Justin Case versus Bobby Lee & Jeremy Gold*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is a Handicap Elimination Match!

The crowd cheers and seems expectant.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first!

” Victory ” by P Diddy and company hits the P.A. Out comes ” The Millennium Game ” Justin Case! He stands at the entrance way, with his manager behind him, as pyro shoots on either side while he raises his oh so talented arms in the very talented air! Case struts down the ramp as Hugh Aredone limpingly lingers behind.

Jenny Jersey: Accompanied to the ring by Hugh Aredone… He is THE MILLENNIUM GAME… JUSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSE!

He struts to the squared circle with a cockily arrogance that only he can endeavour. Once from inside the ring, he steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd on hand. Whether they like him or not, it does not matter. His manager hits his cane on the apron showing his approval. Jumping off the ropes he prepares for the match pulling on the upper rope as his music ends.

Linzi Martin: Man has he got his work cut out for him tonight.

Mikey Massacre: What? Are you shitting me?

“Born This Way” by Lady Gaga hits as Bobby Lee drags Jeremy Gold with him from the backstage area.

Jenny Jersey: His opponents! The acting General Manager of REBEL Pro, JEREMY GOLD! And of course… BOBBY LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

They get into the ring and look around. Gold shivers.

DING DING DING!!!

Mikey Massacre: There’s the bell and as much as I hate to say this, I feel really sorry for Jeremy Gold and Bobby Lee right about now.

Linzi Martin: I feel sorry for Jeremy, but not so much for Bobby Lee…

Justin Case looks at his manager Hugh Aredonne incredulously before he inches toward Jeremy Gold and Bobby Lee, both of whom take off running to the outside. Case just shakes his head as Bobby Lee jumps into the lap of a very large fan at ring-side.

Mikey Massacre: You’ve GOT to be kidding me…

Linzi Martin: Yeeeah, this won’t be a mat classic by any means.

Mikey Massacre: This is going to be a squash-fest.

Linzi Martin: More like a beat-down.

Jeremy Gold tries to do like-wise, but sees Hugh Aredonne waving his diamond cane at him. Gold begs off and backs toward the ring as

Case grabs him by the hair and pulls him on the ring apron, glaring into his eyes as Jeremy Gold flicks a weak punch and screams loudly in Case’s face.

Mikey Massacre: Is Jeremy SERIOUS?

Linzi Martin: I don’t think that will have any effect on Justin Case.

Case just rolls his eyes and suplexes him back into the ring. He then picks him up for a belly-to-belly suplex and smirks at his handy-work.

Mikey Massacre: Yeeeah, this is going to get ugly quick.

Linzi Martin: And Bobby Lee is nowhere to be found!

While Justin Case pounds Jeremy Gold with mounted punches, the camera catches Bobby Lee trying to run away, but one of the REBEL Pro security workers grabs Bobby Lee over his shoulder and tosses him back toward the ringside area. Meanwhile, Justin Case locks in a Sharp-Shooter as Jeremy Gold is tapping out and crying in the process, but the referee reluctantly does not call for the bell yet.

Mikey Massacre: Fans, normally this would be the end of the match, but thanks to Simon Kalis’ diabolical mind, if Case doesn’t pin Gold and Lee within ten seconds of each other, the match starts from scratch!

Linzi Martin: Diabolical? He’s a genius, Mikey! When will you give credit where credit is due?

Mikey Massacre: When pigs fly.

Bobby Lee then sneaks behind Justin Case and goes for a quick roll-up attempt as the referee makes the count.

Linzi Martin: What’s Bobby Lee doing here?

One…

Two…

Mikey Massacre: He almost got him!

Linzi Martin: Nah, he’s just delaying the inevitable.

Justin Case looks at Bobby Lee, shaking his head as Lee tries to go for a palm strike, but gets hit with his trademark Inverted Facelock Neckbreaker maneuver as Lee lies lifeless on the canvas.

Mikey Massacre: Oh no, The Benchmark!

Linzi Martin: Bobby Lee has just died on Aggression!

As Jeremy Gold pulls himself up on his feet, albeit wobbly, Case slaps on his crossface and Gold immediately taps out again. Justin Case then turns his attention to Bobby Lee and lifts him up for a quick Double Underhook Piledriver, planting Lee hard on the canvas as Lee’s right leg hangs outside the ropes while lying lifeless.

Mikey Massacre: Please God, just end this NOW!

Linzi Martin: Referee with the count…

One…

Two…

The referee then sees Bobby Lee’s leg outside the ropes and stops his count as Justin Case looks absolutely livid about the call.

Mikey Massacre: Apparently Bobby Lee’s foot was outside the ropes!

Linzi Martin: What ring awareness by Lee!

Mikey Massacre: Oh, bull-crap!

Justin Case then picks up Jeremy Gold with a Fisherman’s Suplex, leaving Gold completely out of it. He then lies a lifeless Bobby Lee and Jeremy Gold back-first on the canvas and goes to the top rope.

Linzi Martin: I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen here!

Justin Case then positions himself on the top rope and launches mid-air with a Shooting Star Press on top of both Lee and Gold as he lies on top of both of them for the pin.

Mikey Massacre: This has GOT to be it!

One…

Two…

THREE!!!

Linzi Martin: What a nail-biter!

Mikey Massacre: Oh come on, Linzi… this was just an out-and-out slaughter!

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and Gentlemen, here’s your winner… JUSTIN…. CASE!!!

Linzi Martin: Justin Case fought the odds tonight and picked up a HUGE win!

Mikey Massacre: I’d hardly call beating Bobby Lee and Jeremy Gold “beating the odds”…

Linzi Martin: Justin Case beat not one, but TWO people tonight! Give him some credit for once!

*****That‘s a Copperhead Right There!*****

Bubba J walks down the hallway, whistling some tune as though he doesn’t care about the match against Vincent Black tonight, cause he knows it’ll be fun as anything you can think of. He walks up on Jeremy Gold’s door, and kicks it open to show Jeremy watching something he shouldn’t be watching while at work. Gold looks up and notices that Bubba J is carrying some bag that he got from somewhere.

Bubba J: Hey Gold you faggaty piece of shit, how you doin’?

Gold looks terrified and is probably pissing himself, we just can’t see it.

Bubba J: Nevermind, don’t answer that cause I really don’t give a shit.”

Bubba shrugs before walking around the desk and pulling Gold up.

Bubba J: You know the drill, where’s Simon?”

Gold doesn’t answer, fear of both Simon’s wrath as well as that of Bubba J. J just shrugs and kicks him right in the gut and face pounds him into the desk repeatedly until he’s out cold. J opens up the desk and writes on Gold’s forehead, “Bubba J was here, Simon, I’m looking for you.” J then pokes the bag repeatedly, making something his and rattle loudly before he shoves Gold’s head into the bag and continues making the thing inside the bag very angry. J walks out and points over his shoulder with his right thumb.

Bubba J: In that bag… well… that’s a copperhead right there.”

He smirks before heading out of the office entirely and whistling until he comes to the area right behind the backstage curtain. He turns back to the camera that is still following him.

Bubba J: JT Whiplash, you think that you tricked anyone with them flags and that snake?”

He shrugs.

Bubba J: You probably fooled someone on drugs with a very bad alcohol problem… but then again that is something you’d know all about.”

Another shrug.

Bubba J: But before we get into this battle of words and actions, there is something that we need to do and that is get Rebel Pro back to the hardcore violence it was once known for.”

He stares into the camera.

Bubba J: You, Vincent Black, and myself can do that. Those fans have been cheering us lately cause they know that when Vincent Black and Bubba J say something about going hardcore… its gonna happen and some sumbitch is gonna get busted open to show red.”

He stares.

Bubba J: You say that you bleed the red, white, and blue of the Confederacy… but can you show to everyone that you can bleed the red of Rebel Pro? Can you stand up to the pain? Can you handle something truly damn hardcore anymore? Can you stay here for more than two weeks and make it long enough to make people fear your chair swing? Your barbed wire boot? Can you JT?”

He growls the next into the camera.

Bubba J: Prove to me that you can because if Rebel is going to be hardcore once again… we need a true veteran who can swing a chair, can stomp the shit out of someone, be that man JT… man up and be ready to go balls to the wall.”

He turns, but then turns right back to the camera.

Bubba J: Or Gold up and be a pussy. Your choice, I’m waiting on your answer. Are you with Vincent and me? Or are you against us?”

He holds up one more finger.

Bubba J: Make no mistake, I still don’t like ya, but I recognize the fact that you can be hardcore, if you can hang with the Real Rebelers of this federation.”

Vincent Black walks up behind Bubba and both men nod as they stand behind the entrance curtain, we hear Jeremy Gold start to scream now as we fade to ringside…

*****2/3 Falls*****
*****Bubba J versus Vincent Black*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is a TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MATCH!

“Reign of Terror” hits up in the speakers as from the back, to a more than usual positive reaction; more and more cheers accompany these guys the more and more they wrestle. The camera pans around to see several hundred “Hardcore Drinking” posters, as well as some Vincent Black and Bubba J posters.

JENNY JERSEY: Now making their way to the ring, in the two out of three Falls match… Vincent! Black! and… Bubba! J!

Vincent nods at the mentioning of his name, Bubba J does the same. Black taps Bubba J on the shoulder, J looking up at his partner and friend before Black points to the Rebel-tron and J smiles his approval. Black digs under the ring as J heads backstage and comes back moments later with several spools of barbed-wire.

Mikey Massacre: It seems as though Bubba J and Vincent Black are to set up the match before they go through it.

Linzi Martin: This… is… so… hot.

Mikey Massacre: Well the AC has been on all..

Linzi Martin: No, this makes me so…

Mikey Massacre: And fans the team of Hardcore Entertainment are wrapping barbed wire around the table as well as leaving strands of it in a mangled twist on top of the table.

J and Black nod to each other before looking to the ring and heading down. Black once again digs under the ring pulling out a ladder while Bubba J removes a few chairs from fans’ hands as they gladly give them up for some hardcore fighting. J tosses them into the ring before taking a slug from a Jack Daniels bottle that snuck into the building; the bottle is drained and tossed into the ring as well. Black tosses several bottles into the ring, they break upon impact.

Mikey Massacre: They are setting up the match and with each piece of hardcore material, the fans are getting more and more anxious for what promises to be one hell of a fight!

Linzi Martin: I know, I’m getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

The fans begin a “Hardcore!” chant that bounces off the arena’s walls and seems to be getting louder and louder. J stands in front of a camera and does the Hulk ear thing and mouths something.

Bubba J: Hear that Simon, they are chanting for hardcore, not a bunch of pussies fighting seeing who’s got the bigger lips.

Bubba J and Vincent go around the ring getting the crowd up onto their feet, which nearly every single fan, but a couple in a wheelchair do and they are cheering loud enough anyways. A fan, who has modled his crutches to have barbed wire on one and thumbtacks on the other offer one each to Black and J; they take them greatfully. Black turns to Bubba and they swing, starting the match! The crowd explodes!

Ding Ding

The crutches come together, but Black is a bit faster as he nails J in the gut with a boot and brings the crutch down on his back.

Mikey Massacre: They are actually fighting!

Linzi Martin: Oh… ummm… yeah… oh…

Mikey Massacre: What are you doing?

Linzi Martin: Do you really want to know?

Mikey Massacre: Not really.

J nails Black in the thigh with the end of the crutch, dragging the tacks along and ripping a bit of jeans in the process. Black pounds him in the face with his knee before tossing him throat first down on the railing and causing him to fall back into the fans there. Black yells at them to get out of the way, and they do easily enough as he pulls J up into a powerbomb position. J thumbs him in the eye and Black drops him, but J pulls him down with a DDT onto the hard concrete. J makes a cover.

One!

Black kicks out quickly, not wanting to lose the first fall here in this match. J pulls him up, punching with stiff and quick right fists right into his tall ass face. Black stumbles back from the onslaught until he kicks out with a karate kick onto J’s knees and we hear J swear loudly.

Bubba J: Bastard!

Black smiles as he brings down an elbow onto J’s skull, sending him to one knee. Black backs up about ten feet…

Mikey Massacre: He can’t, he’s just too big!

Black completes the Shining Wizard, probably decapitating J, but there is no gush of either beer or blood, so J’s head must still be attached. Black makes the cover.

One!

J gets his shoulder up, not going down that easily, not this early anyways. Black helps him back to his feet, nailing him in the face with some left and right jabs before finishing off the combo with a right and left similtaneous uppercut that sends J flying up and backwards from the impact. Black stalks over, leaning down and J is smiling as he kicks Black right in the nuts, with steel toed boots.

Black: Fuck!

Black holds his balls as J comes firing up with a headbutt rocking Black and making him stumble backwards. Here comes J, swinging a chair, and connecting solidly on the crown of Black’s skull and now Black is sitting up against the railing. J comes with a running knee, but Black lifts him up and over the railing to drop on the opposite side. This small area is destroyed, but the fans are still up on their feet. J pulls himself up and heads over to Black, who slams a tray of jalapeno nachos into his face, causing the Ragin’ Redneck to spin away as the hot pepper juices run into his eyes and cause major tears. Black climbs onto the railing, perching his large frame there and leaps off, bringing down the barbed wire crutch into J’s back and he goes down. Black drags the crutch back and forth on Bubba’s back, ripping the shirt and sending blood flowing out of his skin. J struggles up, but Black helps him to a point before slamming his head into the railing.

Mikey Massacre: I still can’t believe they are actually fighting, I figured they’d… just wouldn’t.

Linzi Martin: I’m unavailable for comment at this point in time.

J drops to his hands and knees and here comes Black with a field goal kick, connecting solidly with J’s ribs hard enough to roll him over onto his back. Black climbs to the top turnbuckle, diving off with a double foot stomp, but J kicks out connecting with his knee and Black stumbles away. Vincent turns around, but J is right there shoving the nacho tray into his face and hammering it home with an elbow right to the eyes. J grinds the hot pepper juices into the eye with his thumbs before hammering Black’s blind face right into the ring apron once, twice, three, four, and five times! Black fires an elbow, but J saw it coming and spins out of the way kicking Black in the face with the toe of his steel toed boot and Black goes to a seated position against the railing. J leans down driving several knees home into his face that eventually bust him open with a slight cut over his right eye. J bends down, swinging for the fences and the barbs catch in Black’s face, ripping a bit of flesh and causing several more rivelets of blood to trickle down his face. Black shoves him back as he gets up to his feet and nails him with a vicious forearm that catches J by surprise. J rocks back against the railing and here comes Black with a leg lariat that sends him back over the railing to the fans, slightly down from where they’ve fought at before. J picks up a beer bottle, bringing it up in an uppercut as Black lashes out with a kick that sends the bottle right back into J’s face where it smashes lovingly against his face. J grunts from the impact of the foot and bottle that sends little pieces, along with one big chunk, into his face.

Mikey Massacre: They surely aren’t taking it easy on the other and we still haven’t had one fall!

Linzi Martin: Oooooooo I knooooooooooow.

Black lashes out with another kick, driving the glass home with the bottom of his boot and J’s head rocks back with authority and he falls to the concrete. Vincent climbs up onto the seats of two chairs before leaping as high as he can and coming down with a body splash with an elbow to J’s face for good measure. Black makes a cover.

One!

Two!

J gets a shoulder up and the crowd gasps, they can’t believe it, but Black knows just how damn tough Bubba is and smiles as J does the same; both are wearing a crimson mask and there are still at least 2 falls to go here in this contest of tag team partners.

Mikey Massacre: It was two, but not even close to a three yet.

Vincent pulls J back up, but he drags the broken neck of the bottle down Vincent’s thigh and brings a grunt of surprise and pain out of his partner and friend before driving the neck into Black’s cheek for good measure. Black with a forearm rocks J back, but J trips the blinded Black up, causing him to faceplant right into the seat of a chair and leave his bloody face print all over it, although it is severely smeared. J takes his turn to climb up onto a chair and come down with a double axehandle smash, but Black rolls off the chair and J has to catch himself, nearly falling himself. J turns around, chair shot right to the face and he crumples heavily onto the floor, perhaps out cold and here comes Black lifting him up for the New Hope onto a few chairs! Black has him up, but J rolls on over Vincent’s back somehow spinning and catching Black with a neckbreaker from Black’s finisher!

Mikey Massacre: My gawd what a counter!

J makes the cover now.

One!

Two!

Black gets his shoulder up and kicks out easily enough before the three.

Mikey Massacre: As with Bubba J, not even close to a three yet. Its going to take at least two finishers and then these two tough bastards may get a three to win the first fall!

Linzi Martin: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!

J stumbles up to his feet, the blood loss seeming to possibly be getting to him, but he pulls Black up and pounds his face into a stadium type chair, but Black pounds him in the ribs with an elbow before slamming his knee into J’s ribs to finish up the two shot combo. Black lifts J for a second, dropping his throat across the railing seperating the different levels before kicking him right in the face with a jumping kick that sends the bottom of his boot to split J’s lips open wide. Blood now begins to stream down J’s face and Black helps smear it a bit with a rapid firing of six elbows that has J’s back up against the railing. J almost topples over, but comes back firing a right and left punch combo. Black ducks under connecting with a sollid right uppercut and then nailing Bubba in the gut with a boot. Black pounds his face into the railing until the skin on his forehead splits and he lifts him up for another New Hope attempt. The fans below this level scatter as they see Black’s intentions, leaving about ten chairs together in their haste to depart. Black releases J, dropping him down about ten feet from the level above and he goes crashing through the chairs!

Mikey Massacre: DAMN!

Black looks down, climbing a bit gingerly onto the railing before launching himself off with a front flip into a body splash and driving an elbow right into J’s nose, causing it to bust upon impact. Black stays for the cover.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

JENNY JERSEY: Winner of the match’s first fall, Vincent Black!

Up in the corner of the Rebel-tron a “1″ goes up beside Vincent’s name

Simon Kalis: Hold up, hold on here a minute.

The crowd boos a bit as Simon comes out from the back, a microphone in his hand.

Simon Kalis: I’ve changed my mind, this is no longer a two out of three falls match, but instead is one fall to the finish. With that said, congratulations Mr. Black, you are the winner and Bubba J… you’ve! got! to! kiss! my! black! ass!”

He looks down to where Bubba J is sitting up against the wall, hatred written in his face. Simon smiles at him.

Simon Kalis: Fuck you Bubba J, and get ready to pucker up next week after you’ve disinfected those soon to be ass kissing lips of your’s.

Simon flips Bubba J off before turning and heading backstage; Bubba J seething with anger the entire time. Black helps him up to his feet, but J just stares at the curtains that wave after Simon passes through them.

Mikey Massacre: I can’t believe this! Its a Rebel Pro screwjob! Bubba J now has to kiss Simon’s black ass! This was supposed to be two out of three falls!

Linzi Martin: I don’t think I could have handled another two falls, I’m tired and my finger is really… really… really sore.

Black helps Bubba up and they begin to leave as Gold comes running out, his face bit by the snake Bubba left him. He seems ready to attack but then remembers he is a blithering pussy and falls down as Bubba and Black leave ringside.

*****The Teaser Redux*****

Suddenly, following the match, the lights go out in the arena again as the fans are wondering what’s going on.

Mikey Massacre: What is it with the last two shows having light problems?

Linzi Martin: All I know is SOMEONE better get to the bottom of this!

After a few moments of silence, we then hear the bagpipe intro again for “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle like at the pay-per-view amidst the darkness.

Mikey Massacre: There goes those bag-pipes again! Are we getting a Scottish wrestler?

Linzi Martin: I don’t like the sound of this!

Finally, the bagpipe intro shuts off and the lights come back on with a rebel flag in each ring post with a moonshine jug in the middle of the ring, but unlike the pay-per-view, there’s no snake in the ring. But on the ramp-way sits a black and gold 1984 Buick Grand National with a “Don’t Tread On Me!” flag on the hood of the car.

Mikey Massacre: I recognize that car! Could the rumors be true?

Linzi Martin: I sure hope not. REBEL Pro doesn’t need anyone pushing the AARP discount age on the roster!

Finally, a nervous Jeremy Gold works up the nerve to open the car door to see who’s behind this. But when the door opens, Gold recoils in horror as we zoom in and see another Copperhead snake, this time in the driver’s seat.

Mikey Massacre: Somebody call Billy The Exterminator because REBEL Pro has a Copperhead problem!

Linzi Martin: All I know is we BETTER get some answers next week! This is getting ridiculous!

As Gold begins to cry and starts to run for the back, the REBEL Pro big screen shows a Rebel Flag on the screen with the date “8.15.2011… He’s coming home. Are YOU ready?” as Gold is shaking their head in fear at what might be ahead for them.

Mikey Massacre: It looks like next week, we’re going to get our answer as to who’s behind all this, though I have a good feeling who it is…

Linzi Martin: I think I’m going to be sick…

*****Hot for Teacher*****

Backstage we find rpw aggression champion, Violet Harper, dressed to impress with a tan tight skirt from her hips to a little past mid-thigh area, black blouse, and her lovely hair all done and curled up. she’s even got a cute pair of glasses on, adding to her almost school-like fantasy sex appeal. she’s not wrestling in tonight’s show since she’s still recovering from armed assault. you can still see a few scars and bruises, but she still looks amazing. she looks into the camera and smiles.-

Violet Harper: I just want to thank all the fans out there for your support and letters while I was recovering in the hospital. Even the men who sent me lewd pictures of their members wanting every inch of my body. Thank you, I guess.

She shakes her head, trying to block out the images.

Violet Harper: Last week was a huge step in my career because there were a lot of you out there that didn’t think I deserved to be Aggression Champion. Of course you had every right to believe that. I’m not nearly as misguided as lot of my coworkers around here and around the community. I didn’t earn it, in fact I felt a little shameful taking that title, but never once did I strut around thinking I was hot stuff because I was handed that title.

Pause.
Violet Harper: Well, to be fair, I am hot stuff. Just look at me.

She winks, giving the camera a 360 view. we wish she stopped at the 180 point, but she’s a tease like that.

Violet Harper: I made sure my opponents knew I was going to do everything I could to earn it. And while Legion thought he had me in his death grip and he was going to crush me, I managed to shock everyone, even him, but grabbing the title and holding onto it for dear life as he nearly drove me to Hell. I think my toughness, my determination, and my desire to not only rise to the top of this industry but learn from some of its greatest competitors puts me a cut above your average superstar here in Rebel.

Violet Harper: And I’m more than eager to prove that! Simon Kalis – no doubt you gave me an exceptional test last week, which I passed. I expect you to up the ante in my next title defense, because well.. sugar… I just wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

Violet Harper: The Harper Legacy began last week and it’s going to continue on as I show you, the Rebel Pro faithful, why I deserve this championship and give you all another champion you can love and adore.

Violet Harper: I don’t believe in getting to the top of something and then calling it quits. I will continue to earn my stripes, no matter how many matches I win or lose. That’s a promise, babes!

She smiles and then blows the camera a kiss, turning around and walking down the hallway. the camera view slowly falls to her buttocks area, and then quickly snaps back up before cutting back to ringside.

LINZI MARTIN: Yeah, girl power! Rebel Pro’s champions are showing why they’re the best, Mikey!

MIKEY MASSACRE: What I would do with that…man.. I –

We can hear a bitch-slap noise.

MIKEY MASSACRE: OWIE!

LINZI MARTIN: Serves you right, and you better hope I don’t tell her what you said!

*****A Fuck You Special: Guest Referee Simon Kalis*****
*****Legion versus “The Emerald Phoenix” Emily Corlen*****

Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Fuck You Special Match! If Legion wins, he will become the undisputed number one contender to the REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship!!!!

The crowd boos this announcement.

Jenny Jersey: And Emily Corlen will be stripped of her half of the REBEL Pro World Tag Team Title, and FIRED! Legion ONLY needs a count of 2 to win!

Linzi Martin: The deck is stacked against Emily here. She is also defending her tag partners face from meeting Legion’s fists, though I’m guessing after the attitude she’s had since being pistol whipped, defending Lisa isn’t too big on her priority list.

Mikey Massacre: This is another screw job waiting to happen.

“Dope Boy Fresh” by Three 6 Mafia hits over the speakers as The Order of Chaos skull emblem burns into the REBELTron.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first! He is the Special Guest Referee for tonight’s main event! The minority owner of REBEL Pro, he is SIMON KALIS!!!!!

Kalis steps out and is met with boos, to which his eyes widen and he throws his hands up in a “What the fuck? Are you seriously booing me?” kind of way. He’s wearing a striped referee shirt and jean shorts and black Jordans on his feet. Simon bobs his head to the rhythm of the song, black as fuck as he pretends to brush dirt off his shoulder at booing fans. He slides into the ring and offers an Order of Chaos salute.

Mikey Massacre: After he hit Bubba J with a REBEL Pro Screw Job earlier tonight, can’t help but wonder what he’s got in store for Corlen.

The lights in the arena go to black and the heavy bass of ‘Inside’ by NiN kicks in over the sound system. Rising from a hole set in the middle of the stage is Legion, a backlight showing only his silhouette. The arena lights come back up and Legion is joined on stage by members of his congregation and they all make their way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing! LEGION!

Legion enters the ring as his congregation surrounds it. Simon nods and bows to Legion, hiding a big grin over his face.

Linzi Martin: I’ve known Simon Kalis a long time. I hope Legion realizes, Simon is a user. He will use Legion and the Church of Misery against people who piss him off in REBEL Pro, just so he doesn’t have to get his hands dirty.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t think Legion cares. He wants to burn the “unworthy” from REBEL Pro, and so it may be that their goals align.

Linzi Martin: Yeah but he called Simon a “convert”, and referred to this match as a “gift” to the Church of Misery. A tiding. None of you here know him like I do! Trust me!

Mikey Massacre: You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent!

“Miseria Cantare(The Beginning)” by AFI hits as Emily Corlen steps out, her RPW World Tag Team title securely strapped to her waist. She stares across the entrance ramp into the ring with fire in her eyes.

Jenney Jersey: She is EMILY CORLEN!!!!

Corlen makes a beeline towards the ring, sliding in, taking off her REBEL Pro World Tag Team title and leaping into the air at Legion with it, smashing it across his masked face. Simon smirks, calling for the bell to start the match.

DING DING DING

Legion doesn’t fall, he merely stumbles back ever so slightly. Corlen bashes her title into his masked face again, and again and again! Legion leans into the corner turnbuckle as Corlen tosses the belt aside and climbs up over him in the corner, and begins wailing on Legion with lefts and rights. His hard masks reddens her knuckles till they bleed and she screams as she looks up, loud and frighteningly. She wraps her left arm around the back of Legions neck and jumps back, taking Legion with her into a DDT! The crowd explodes and Corlen throws herself onto Legion, covering and hooking the legs.

Mikey Massacre: Jesus, she is pissed.

Linzi Martin: Simon isn’t making the count.

Simon steps back, leaning his right shoulder back and staring at Emily’s ass with a huge chauvinistic smile on his face. Emily gets to her feet and gets right into Simons face. She doesn’t even say anything, she just pits her nose up to his chin and stares.

Simon Kalis: Touch me bitch. I dare you.

Simon looks at Legion as he gets up, nodding in Simons direction. Emily turns around and is immediately met with a big boot to the face sending Emily to the canvas hard. Legion grabs her tag team title and hoists it into the air before grabbing the straps and RIPPING IT APART WITH HIS BARE HANDS!

Mikey Massacre: Shit he just destroyed her Tag title.

Linzi Martin: Have you EVER seen someone RIP LEATHER with their bare hands like that? What strength.

Legion holds onto the center gold plate and waits for Emily to get to her feet. She shakes her head and gives out another war cry as she spins herself at Legion and spears him into the corner. Legion takes the edge of the center gold piece of the now destroyed REBEL Pro tag title and begins bashing it against the back of Emily Corlens neck as Emily charges him repeatedly with her shoulders. Emily grits her teeth, ignoring the pain until Legion moves forward and throws her to the canvas with ease. Corlen rolls, gets back to her feet and rushes at Legion who smashes her tag title into her face. Emily stumbles back, falls to one knee but doesn’t completely fall back. Simon watches on now, much more seriously. Legion cracks the gold plate from the RPW Tag title across Emily’s face and she hit’s the canvas hard. He begins wailing on her with it, just bashing it over her face repeatedly until Emily’s forehead rips open with blood gushing out as her nose bleeds with it too. Emily Corlen looks fucked up as Legion chucks that broken piece of the tag title aside and drops to his knees, placing his arms over as he makes the pin.

1!
T-KICK OUT!

Simon makes the fast count but Emily still manages to throw a shoulder up.

Linzi Martin: That was close! And remember folks, Legion ONLY needs a 2 count to win!

Mikey Massacre: What a bitch.

Linzi Martin: Who?! Emily?!

Mikey Massacre: No. Simon.

Legion does the unthinkable, and climbs the turnbuckles to the top rope. He stands on the top turnbuckle and raises his arms in the air, the crowd shocked and in disbelief as Emily holds her face. Legion jumps off the top rope and hit’s a thunderous elbow drop across Emily’s chest. Emily feels it hard as she shakes and quickly rolls out of the ring to catch her breath.

Mikey Massacre: Bad idea, Corlen.

Legions congregation begins circling the ring to surround Emily. Corlen gets to her feet and kicks one of them in the face, sending him to the ground. Another guy grabs her from behind by her neck but she elbows him in the gut till he falls back in pain. A third guy runs and leaps at her but Emily grabs him by the throat and then throws him away like a rag doll. She grabs one of the men from the floor and rips off his mask, revealing a terrifying disfigured man behind it before looking up at Legion in the ring. Legion crosses his arms and watches as Emily circles the ring now, yelling at him. Emily holds the mask up before sliding back into the ring.

Linzi Martin: HERE WE GO!

Corlen is quick to her feet as Legion comes for her. She ducks a powerful clothesline and then cracks the edge of the mask against Legion’s throat. Legion stumbles back with a cough as Emily jumps up, wraps her legs around his waist and begins wailing on him with that congregation members mask against his throat. Legion falls down to the canvas, Emily still has her legs wrapped around him as she bashes the mask against his throat multiple times. She throws it aside and wipes the blood off her face, rubbing it onto Legions mask now. She then pushes herself against Legion, holding him down with all her weight on him. Simon actually goes to make the count now.

1!

Linzi Martin: I can only imagine what Lisa would say right now.

2!!

Mikey Massacre: Probably something about how Free Willy has beached all over Legion, and since he didn’t bring his crane I imagine he’s in some trouble.

KICK OUT!

Legion THROWS Emily Corlen off of himself and she hit’s the canvas and rolls away. Legion sits up quickly and gets to his feet. He grabs one of the leather straps from the now torn tag title and holds it by the end, with the small gold plate at the end of the strap.

Mikey Massacre: Whip the breeder time?

Linzi Martin: Breeder, tch.

Mikey Massacre: You saying you wouldn’t want to be one of the breeders?

Linzi Martin: …

Emily Corlen is on all fours, her face and nose still trickling with fresh blood. Legion stands over her and lifts his arm up and WHIPS the strap of the torn belt into Emily’s back. The gold plate at the end of it stings her spine as he whips her again, and again, and again. Welts begin to appear on her back and cuts too. Legion holds up the leather strap, the gold plate on it covered in Corlens blood. Corlen is down on the canvas and Legion whips the gold plate into the back of her head two times for good measure before chucking it aside, kicking Corlen in the ribs until she rolls over and covering.

1!

TWOO-KICK OUT! KICK OUT! CORLEN KICKS OUT!

Legion looks up at Simon, who shakes his head as he backs up. Simon props himself onto the top turnbuckle and lights a cigarette. Legion gets out of the ring and then goes under the ring and pulls out some tables, chairs and reels of barbed wire.

Linzi Martin: Oh shit.

Mikey Massacre: Legions getting serious now. Corlen just won’t go down! She’s even bleeding out the back of her head now, she might have a concussion and if she doesn’t I’d be seriously surprised.

Corlen seems dazed, and Simon rocks back and forth as he looks over her with a sense of curiosity. Legion sets up the tables next to each other on the outside before throwing a chair up over the top rope into the ring. He throws the reel of barbed wire into the ring as well before sliding back in. Corlen out of no where rolls herself onto her shoulders, flips, jumps up to her feet with a look like she’s possessed in her eyes as she hits BOOM! Headshot! On Legion! Legion stumbles around and bounces off the ropes before Corlen rolls him up! Simon smacks his hands together.

Simon Kalis: I’m on a smoke break, sorry.

Emily Corlen: YOU FUCKING DICK!

Corlen gets to her feet and scoffs

Simon Kalis: He’d have kicked out sweetheart.

Corlen sees the reel of barbed wire and grabs it as Legion sits up, shaking his head. Corlen wraps the barbed wire around Legions neck from behind, puts her knee into his spine and begins pulling back as hard as she can. Her hands begin to bleed, and Legions throat begins to bleed too as the barbs cut into his neck and throat. He reaches out and looks around as the camera zooms in on his eyes, somewhat in disbelief at the gall of Corlen. Corlen rolls onto her back, lifting Legion up now with both her knees digging into Legions spine. The crowd goes NUTS, they can’t believe her strength! Legions blood drips out over Emily’s chest joining her blood as she screams and yells for Legion to give up.

Linzi Martin: Holy shit.

Mikey Massacre: This is what we need man.

Simon looks on in astonishment before hopping off the top turnbuckle and walking over.

Simon Kalis: Give up, Legion?

Legion gives Simon a look. That’s all he needs to do and Simon looks at Corlen, the fierce anger in her face as she refuses to relent. Legion begins throwing wild elbows behind his back as a last ditch effort to get free and it works, the pressure of his weight and size against Emily’s knees is too much and she tosses him aside, letting go. She looks at her own hands, the barbs having sliced deep into them. She begins to crawl away from the mess, the ring stained all over the place with her blood but finally Legions blood joining it as he rips the barbed wire from his throat, bleeding from his neck. He holds his throat and Simon looks at each of them, possibly hoping he won’t get sued if one of them dies as he smokes his cigarette with a front row seat. He goes to check on Emily, but she shoves him aside. Simon goes to check on Legion, but Legion turns to look at him and he nods as he slowly backs away.

Mikey Massacre: Legion is bleeding from his damn neck and throat, but I don’t think major veins got pierced otherwise he’d be dead in minutes.

Linzi Martin: Over my few weeks working here, sitting next to you Mikey. I’ve learned it takes two things to compete and survive in REBEL Pro.

Corlen begins pulling herself to her feet with the ropes as Legion leans against a corner, holding his neck. One of his congregation takes a pipe from under the ring while another man begins burning it to heat it up.

Mikey Massacre: Oh? What’s that, Linzi?

They hand the pipe to Legion and the edge of it is red hot, Legion takes that edge and begins rubbing it against his neck and throat, wincing as he burns his wounds in an attempt to cauterize the wound from its continued bleeding.

Linzi Martin: Uhhhh…. Balls and luck. And I think Legion’s just shown us he has serious balls by burning his own neck to stop the bleeding. Jesus Christ.

Corlen grabs the chair Legion had thrown into the ring as Legion comes at her with his red hot pipe. (Stop thinking dirty thoughts sickos). Legion swings the heated tip at her, she ducks and slams the sides of the chair into his ribs. Legion takes a step to the side as Corlen hits an upswing, sending Legion into the corner turnbuckle. Legion shakes it off and climbs up, his feet on the middle turnbuckle. Corlen drops the chair and runs at him. He tries to swat her away with the pipe but misses, as Corlen stands up on the bottom turnbuckle and grabs him by the neck, pushing her thumbs into the cuts he just cauterized.

Linzi Martin: NO WAY! SHE IS NOT PULLING THIS OFF!

Emily screams in Legions face as she pulls up, lifting Legion off the turnbuckle. She spins and lays him out with her two handed choke slam, Seventh Heaven RIGHT ONTO THE CHAIR! The crowd is ON THEIR FEET cheering as Corlen stumbles around. She hugs herself, rubbing her arms before falling to the canvas and throwing herself onto Legion for the cover. Luckily, Simons so impressed he goes to make the count.

1!

2!!

THREEE-NO!!! LEGION KICKS OUT! LEGION KICKS OUT! SHIT SON!

Legion kicks out, but does NOT throw Corlen off him like he has thus far. She rolls away, breathing heavily and bleeding all over the place.

Fans: REBEL! REBEL! REBEL! REBEL! REBEL!

Mikey Massacre: The crowd is loving this! What a main event it has been, I must say I’m surprised.

Linzi Martin: We can expect Legion to survive the onslaught of most people, but to see Emily still standing is great.

Mikey Massacre: Except she’s not standing and is bleeding out all over the ring.

Linzi Martin: Semantics my dear Massacre.

Legion sits up, breathing heavily as he turns to look at Emily Corlen. He slowly nods as Corlen gets to her feet at the same time.

Simon Kalis: Why don’t you just fucking die? What’s wrong with you?

Kalis says to Corlen as she pushes him aside and hops up onto the turnbuckles. Legion watches her. Corlen flies off the top rope and lands crotch-to-face on Legions shoulders. She sits there and begins wailing on Legion before attempting to flip herself and do a hurricanrana… Which fails. Legion instead lifts her back up and walks over to the ropes and lifts her higher… ENTER BLACKNESS TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH A TABLE! Emily Corlen is DESTROYED!!!!

Mikey Massacre: Oh man. Oh man. She is FINISHED!

Linzi Martin: NOOOOOO!! NO!!! NOT LIKE THIS!!! EMILY! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!!!

Kalis smiles, Legion gets out of the ring and lifts Corlen up on the outside. Corlen is out of it as Legion pushes her into the ring and climbs up onto the apron, getting into the ring.

Linzi Martin: Man… This sucks.

Mikey Massacre: I’m sure Lisa Seldon is somewhere in Boston, laughing at Emily Corlen bleeding like a pig. I mean it’s not like Legion gets her half of the tag titles. Lisa gets both, and gets to pick a new partner.

Legion points to Corlen, who’s got fresh and dried blood all over her. Simon nods.

Linzi Martin: I don’t know, I wouldn’t be laughing if I was Lisa. She is going to have to face Legion now at Prove Your Worth!

Legion drops to his knees, and covers Emily Corlen. Simon Kalis drops for the count.

1!

Linzi Martin: EMILY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

2!!!!!!!

Simon sits up, his eyes so wide open his fake glass eye almost pops out and his mouth gaping wide.

Mikey Massacre: No way…

Corlen, has her shoulder up.

Linzi Martin: RIGHT BEFORE HE HIT FOR TWO!!! CORLEN KICKED OUT BITCHES! CORLEN FUCKING KICKED OUT!!!!

The fans, the announcers, Simon and Legion, and all you assholes watching… SHOCK! AWE! WHOA! REBEL PRO!

FUCK YEAH!

Legion looks at Simon and back at Corlen, who coughs as her eyes roll around in her head. Legion covers her again.

1!

TW-KICK OUT!

Kalis shakes his head, and Legion punches Emily in the face and slams her head against the canvas. He covers again.

Fans: CORLEN! CORLEN! CORLEN! CORLEN!

1!

Fans: CORLEN! CORLEN! CORLEN! CORLEN!

TWOOOO-NOOOOOOOOO!!! SHE KICKS OUT! SHE KICKS OUT!!!

Legion gets to his feet and steps out of the ring. Simon kneels down before Emily and lifts her head up to see if she’s still awake.

Simon Kalis: I gave you this. Starr said I’d use you till I had no more use, but he was wrong. I broke Duff. I broke Starr. They weren’t strong enough to handle the freedom I gave them Emily. I was always a friend, look at you now. I make or break stars. So. Can you handle it where they couldn’t? Are you strong enough?

Corlen looks up and shoves Simon out of the way.

Simon Kalis: Prove me wrong, Emily.

Legion folds the table he set up on the outside and slides it into the ring. Corlen rolls away from Kalis who stands up and backs away. Legion enters the ring and sets the table up in the middle of the ring as Corlen gets to her feet, feeding off the energy of the fans. Legion grabs that reel of barbed wire you probably forgot was in the ring and begins wrapping it all around the table. He takes that chair too and sets it up before wrapping it to the table with barbed wire, until all of the whole reel is tightly wrapped to it.

Mikey Massacre: Here comes the end.

Linzi Martin: I can’t watch!

Corlen picks up her REBEL Pro Tag Team title, or at least the center gold plate since Legion ripped the title into 3 shreds. Legion grabs her by her hair and rips her forward toward him. He spins her around and lifts her into the air for a choke slam. Corlen begins bashing Legions head with the gold plate from her tag belt on top of his head where his face isn’t protected by the mask. She whips her legs up, around his neck and then pulls herself forward and slides off his back back to the canvas but not before bashing in Legions already cut up and burned neck. She cracks him in the back of the neck with the gold plate, gives him a low blow for good measure. Legion winces and bends forward holding himself. Corlen with another low blow which sends Legion forward. She grabs his legs and sweeps him off his feet, holding his legs between her waist.

Mikey Massacre: No way… She isn’t going to do this.

Linzi Martin: YOU CAN DO IT EMILY! GIRL POWER!!

Emily Corlen SCREAAAAAAAMS as the fans CHEEEEER her on! SHE LIFTS LEGION UP INTO THE AIR, SPINS…. THE CATALYST THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE WRAPPED, CHAIR MESHED TABLE!!!!

Fans: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!!!

Corlen collapses, rolling Legion over but not before ripping some of the barbed wire and wrapping it around his neck as she pulls back on his neck while covering. Kalis, in utter shock, drops for the count.

1!

Linzi Martin: YES! YES!

2!!

Mikey Massacre: That didn’t just happen, man.

3!!!!!!!!!!!

Kalis leans back, wiping his mouth in shock as he calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… EMILY CORLEN!!!!!!!!!

The crowd here in Nashville is going NUTS as Simon raises Corlen’s arm while she remains laid out on the canvas. Legion holds his head and then pulls the barbed wire off his neck again. Legion rolls out of the ring, shaking his head as he begins making his way back up the entrance ramp.

Mikey Massacre: My hats off to Corlen right now. I’m in shock.

Linzi Martin: This whole arena, everyone watching at home… We all are.

Simon Kalis lights another cigarette and leans against the corner, watching as Corlen rolls around getting herself back together.

Mikey Massacre: She lifted this man up with pure, raw power. It had to be a burst of adrenaline, but still. It was amazing.

Corlen gets to her feet, and looks at Simon Kalis. Kalis salutes her before climbing out of the ring and leaving, heading back up the entrance ramp.

Mikey Massacre: Well folks. For Linzi Martin, this is-

Corlen gets thrown a microphone and shakes her head, cutting everyone off.

Emily Corlen: No… No… You can’t walk away. Not after this.

Kalis stops atop the entrance ramp

and turns around.

Emily Corlen: Not after what just happened. Does this prove I’m good enough to be here, Simon?

Simon looks around, smiling and nods.

Emily Corlen: Lisa! Does this prove I’m good enough to be your partner?! I don’t give a shit!

Corlen drops, and rolls out of the ring.

Emily Corlen: You’ve all treated me like a nothing, a nobody! FOR TOO LONG!

Corlen goes under the ring and begins chucking out big canisters of gasoline. Kalis squints as he watches her.

Emily Corlen: It’s time to take a stand. To make a statement. To show the world I’m deadly serious, boys.

Gold runs out from backstage, though Kalis jumps back when he sees Gold with all the snake bites on his face. Gold seems to be imploring Simon to stop her, as Emily Corlen begins pouring gasoline all over the ring.

Emily Corlen: You remember this, don’t you Simon? What you did to the PWA ring, to make a statement?

Corlen stands in the middle of the ring now, all of the canisters of gas empty. Simon looks at Gold and shakes his head, as he turns to watch.

Emily Corlen: What happens when a good soul is pushed over the edge?

Corlen, blood, sweat and all sparks a zippo lighter and throws it onto the ring. The spark flies and the ring immediately begins to burn.

Emily Corlen: EVERYBODY BURNS!

Corlen drops the microphone and looks around her as the ring begins to engulf itself in flames. Linzi Martin and Mikey Massacre abandon their posts at ringside and make a quick exit as fans at front row are directed by security to begin leaving. Simon watches on, lighting another cigarette and nodding in Corlen’s direction.

He smirks.

Corlen jumps out of the ring, grabbing the last piece left of her RPW Tag Team title, the center gold plate and the mask of one of Legions men and starts walking up the entrance ramp. Gold faints, falling off the stage and through a table below. Simon rolls his eyes. Corlen stops in front of Simon and looks him dead to rights in the eyes before pushing him aside and walking past. Simon watches the ring fall into itself as the crowd is evacuated and he leaves now too…

*****My Brothers Keeper*****

The lights in the arena go pitch black, leaving only the sight of the burning ring in the middle of the ring as the sound of “Mad World” by Gary Jules picks up over the speakers and the REBEL-Tron flashes a bright-white screen. The scene shows a hospital hallway, the camera inching down the hallway from a first-person perspective.

We can see nurses, doctors, patients and visitors all walking past the camera as it continues to make it’s way down the hall. Turning a corner, we can see a sign hanging which reads “Psychiatric Wing”. Further down the hall, there is a man, sitting on the floor, banging his head onto the wall and using his fingers to count to six — over and over and over again.

Finally, we get to the door at the very end of the hall, the camera pans upwards and looks through a small barred window. Inside, we can see the image of a man in a straight jacket. The names of all the federations in the AoWF begin to fade in as the music fades out. The words, “Coming Soon” fade in just as we see the man in a straight jacket, his head lowered and what appears to be different messages written in blood around him.

The image freezes on the screen as we fade to the REBEL Pro logo and out…

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Justin Case defeats Bobby Lee & Jeremy Gold regardless of the CONSPIRACY!
Vincent Black defeats Bubba J as Simon Kalis pulls a REBEL Pro Screw Job!
Emily Corlen defeats Legion in a wild main event, then goes fucking crazy, burning things and such.