*****Earlier Today*****
{Recorded on October 31st at 6:56am}
So here we are, cutting to an undisclosed backstage environment yet again. This one isn’t very nicely decorated, in fact it’s the general dressing room. This is where you cut a promo if you’re a real nobody, someone who isn’t worthy of a private dressing room.
Naturally, this is where we find Finale, AoWF’s resident black sheep, the man the people pay good money to hate. He is sitting on a bench, dressed in faded blue jeans and a black Mazzy Star t-shirt. He looks around, not impressed. In his hands is the program to Hell-O-Ween, where his match isn’t even featured near the top of the card. He crumples it up and tosses it aside. For a moment he stares the distant stare that is inherent in his bloodline before it transitions slowly into a grin. He wipes his nose and laughs, standing with a shake of his head.
Finale: This is good. This is where I need to be. I need to be in a locker room like this but not like Gabe Shelley does. His need is of a much more shocking and criminally sexual nature. However that is neither here nor there.
He clears his throat, instinctively pausing to let the audience’s boo’s stifle.
Finale: I’m here because I’m not a money maker. Not yet. No you see because while I do what I want, how I want and when I want…people tend not to want to showcase me. Put faith in me. Makes sense, given my track record. I’m was a flake, I lacked focused. However I can perform…clearly. I just destroyed this company’s sister promotion’s World Champion; I made him fucking quit. I understand that my bad reputation precedes me. I am a realist. An being a realist, I understand that it is going to take more than a few victories to get to where this industry fully recognizes what I am capable of.
He lights a cigarette, ignoring the multitude of no smoking signs. Some dude walks into the shot pushing a broom and Finale pays no attention.
Finale: Everyone seems to hate me for my character traits and that leads them to doubt my skill. My main goal right now is to have that turn around. You people can think whatever the fuck you want about me but you will respect my acumen and talent for this industry. One match at a time, people will learn to accept the harsh truth. It’s hard to swallow nancys, just shut up and do it. The sooner the better.
The Rebel Pro audience quiets some, many willing to hear Super Shredder out.
Finale: Now. In light of all of that shit, that makes tonight’s match…well…just another match. I tried to aggrandize it for Shelley’s sake but really, it’s just another match. I have set a high standard recently so the level of brutality that I am expected to deliver tonight is high and hear you me daisies I will deliver. Save your garbage for when I do. Bad things are in store for the Puppy. Boy has this been a long time coming.
The crowd returns to booing, some shouting audible death threats.
Finale: Gabe Shelley, on a normal day I would put you through every table in this goddamn arena, every single one I could find. But tonight is Halloween and that means that I seriously might kill you.I know that it sounds a bit drastic but Halloween aaaaaalways does this to me. I black out and enter a murderous rage fit. Whomever is in close vicinity is in harms way. I don’t know what to tell you bud. Chances are that it’s going to be you.
Finale obnoxiously mugs for sympathy at the camera, earning absolutely none from the audience in attendance. He does his worst to hide his insincerity.
Finale: So I guess…call your lawyer? Get your retarded nieces on standby? Whatever you need to do to quickly get your shit in order nancy. Because Underdog? I’m going to break every goddamn bone in your body. They’ll come after me for animal cruelty, PETA will send their assassins.
Finale grabs the camera and stares into it.
Finale: And just so you understand me. I’m cool with going to jail tonight, as long as it’s a check in the win column and you in the hospital. Or in a body bag. Or a wheel chair.You get it. Ya dig?
The screen is jerked and then sent for a whirl as Finale smashes the lens off of the bench before leaving the frame.
Finale: I’m not fucking paying for that!
End.
*****A Meeting of the Minds*****
We open up on what appears to be the roof of a building, where five shadowed figures have gathered together. They form a circle around a small elevated space, a few voices.
Voice 1: Here are everyone’s assignments for tonight. Read them, memorize them, execute them.
Voice 2: You’re sure this is going to work?
Voice 1: They started this shit. We’re going to end it.
Voice 3: Let’s fuck up some REBELs.
The five figures pop open what appears to be a grate, and they all slip into the building…
*****REBEL Pro Fecal Beagle Championship DEATH Match*****
*****Bobby Lee© versus Jeremy Gold©*****
“Born This Way” hits up and out from the back in a pink hocky outfit, complete with detachable fairy wings(full of glitter) is one of the co-holders of the Feagle Beagle Championship… Jeremy Gold.
Jenny Jersey: Making his um… way to the ring, from Toronto Ontario, Canada; he stands at a very cool height and weighs in at a very scary and masculine poundage that he doesn’t need to say to strike fear into you mere worthless opponents… he is one half of the Feagle Beagle Champion… Jeremy “Killer and a very Masculine Killer” Gold!
“I Hear the Voices” comes from the speakers and out from the back, dressed in a hocky uniform, walks the co-holder of the Feagle Beagle Championship… Bobby Lee.
Jenny Jersey: Introducing his opponent, from Miller’s Trailer Park, he stands at six feet three inches and weighs in tonight at three hundred and ten pounds… one half of the Feagle Beagle Champion… Bobby “Indestructible” Lee!
Linzi Martin: He seems to have gained a bit of weight, seventy pounds in fact.
Larry Gordon: I suspect it has all to do with his “indestructibleness” outfit.
Linzi Martin: I suspect that you are right.
Ding Ding
Bobby Lee, dressed in his New York Rangers hocky outfit, stands ready for battle while on the other side of the ring Jeremy Gold stands wearing a lovely pink bomb retardent suit.
Larry Gordon: Riiiiiight, something is definitely wrong with that cat.
Linzi Martin: Who, Bobby Lee?
Larry Gordon: Now that you mention it, I’d have to say both of them.
Linzi Martin: Agreed.
They come to blows, well as much as either man will in this contest and their condition, in the center of the ring. Bobby is thrown off balance by the slashing hocky stick and his trying to avoid it, but manages to fall down and is having a terrible time trying to get up. But, fortunately for him, the swing has Gold off balance and he slips, falling on top of Bobby Lee, but is unable to pin the longest reigning Curtain Jerker or Feagle Beagle champion in Rebel Pro history as he is laying face down in the ring. Gold, finally managing to roll off, pulls himself up with the ropes, but Bobby Lee is still trying to get up, thankfully the laughing referee is there to help him. The crowd, well, they are actually liking this match; at least they are laughing at any rate. Gold stares out to the crowd, not sure what to make of them, when Lee nails him in the back of the head with a freaking fire extinguisher. However, Gold falls outside of the ring and to the floor. Gold’s right foot catches Lee right in the crotch, but its protected, but his momentum is thrown off and he goes over the edge as well.
KaBoom!
Larry Gordon: I love C4 Deathmatches!
Linzi Martin: Damn! These two have no experience in C4, in deathmatches, or wrestling in general!
Lee screams, but Gold matches him in intensity when he wakes up from the fall outside and both men are screaming at the top of their lungs. Lee rolls off, but Gold is scrambling away from the explosion point, actually managing to trip Bobby Lee up, causing him to drop his own(Bobby’s) throat on the railing, somehow catching that little exposed area under the helmet and choke himself. Gold rolls him up from behind in a pin attempt, but referee Jimmy Johnson just looks down and shakes his head from side to side; a pin must take place inside the ring. However Jeremy doesn’t see Jimmy shaking his head and is slapping the concrete by hiimself and jumping up thinks he has won the match. For that matter, Bobby Lee has a look of joy on his face, thinking that he is finally the Feagle Beagle champion once again. Jeremy gets up and is so extatic and running around declaring himself to be the next Rebel Pro World Champion.
Larry Gordon: Something… is definitely wrong with him.
Linzi Martin: Drugs, I think I saw him sniffing something white backstage.
Larry Gordon: I hope it wasn’t those new Drano crystals that will clean out any drain.
Linzi Martin: Might have been.
Lee stumbles up to his feet, walking over in his uniform and begins to grab the belt when both realize that no bell has rung and no exit music is playing. At the same instant they realize this, Jimmy indicates that the match must end inside the ring. Lee, for his part, gets a grim determination on his face and goes after a steel chair. After struggling for a minute or so, he finally gets a 10 year old kid out of it and lifts it up to head level. On the other side of the ring Jeremy pulls a kendo stick(that strangely looks like a princess fairy wand from “Barbie “Enchanted Princess”) from under the ring. Gold comes after Bobby Lee with the wand… I mean kendo stick and swings sending the chair right out of Lee’s grasp. However the wand is sent flying into several pieces upon contact with the chair, and one lands on Linzi Martin’s hair.
Linzi Martin: Hey! What the hell?
Larry Gordon: Looks strangely like a fragment of Princess Fairy Wand, same thing happened to my neice when she hit her brother with it.
Linzi Martin: Your neice is a demon child.
Larry Gordon: My nephew said the same thing, I just laughed.
Linzi Martin: Train them young, don’t you.
Larry Gordon: It is a family business, ya know.
Gold lunges forward with the inch long piece, but as Bobby Lee falls, his foot connects with Gold’s crotch and its obvious from the greenish color of his skin that he forgot something very important about his outfit. Gold falls forward, Lee’s flayling foot connecting with the side of Gold’s helmet sending him sideways onto the Announcers’ table.
Linzi Martin: We’ll be fine, nothing bad will happen to us here with these two.
Larry Gordon: You can never tell here in Rebel Pro.
Lee, picking up the steel chair, lays it on Gold’s face before managing to get up onto the ring apron.
Linzi Martin: I’m not worried.
Lee places one foot on the bottom turnbuckle before then spending a few minutes trying to figure out how to finish the climb. He makes it up to the second turnbuckle, as the crowd is chanting numerous instructions to him. Lee, then suddenly stops as he realizes he is actually trying to win a match, but its in fact he’s trying to knock out Gold so that Gold can pin him. At this realization Lee begins to tremble and he is now shaking violently perched there on the second turnbuckle and is muttering to someone or tsomething.
Linzi Martin: See, we are completely safe.
Lee, strangely enough and very shocking, finishes the climb to the top turnbuckle, only to realize that his back is to Jeremy and this… just won’t do. Lee turns very slowly and waves his arms wildly to keep his balance and is shocked to still see Jeremy Gold on the table. That or, Lee is scared of heights or something similar. Lee looks down, his eyes roll up into his head, but he perches there for a few seconds.
Linzi Martin: We… might be in trouble.
Larry Gordon: But only because he’s passed out from fright up there!
Lee, falls off forward off the ringpost, nailing his head solidly into the concrete, thank goodness he has that helmet on; but too bad for him it is now dented and the face plate is cracked. Oh, did I mention that he faceplanted right into a C4 charge? Well… he did.
KaBoom!
Lee doesn’t move, its very likely that he’s dead in fact.
Linzi Martin: Right here! Right here at us?!
Larry Gordon: Yeah, I love it! Its Rebel Pro baby! Fuck yeah!
Bobby Lee disagrees with the assesment, but he doesn’t know it, however he will disagree with it after he regains consciousness.
Linzi Martin: Jeremy’s beginning to wake up now.
Gold rolls off the table and struggles mightily to keep himself balanced and finally stumbles forward and rolls into the ring. Jeremy lays there waiting on the victory from the count-out when Johnson tells him that there are no count-outs in Rebel Pro. Gold sighs and whimpers that he must continue before a hand comes up from below the apron and pulls itsself up, blackened and extremely chard from the C4. Jeremy, for his part, screams like what a pink fairy princess probably sounds like when she would see a blackened hand and arm coming up from somewhere scarey. Gold… passes out right there against the ropes and Lee is on the apron.
Larry Gordon: I don’t think Bobby Lee knows where he is at right now.
Linzi Martin: I don’t think he ever knows where he is at.
Lee steps through the ropes, trips, and falls on Gold; out cold again. Jimmy kneels slowly into position for the pin.
One!
Two!
Three!
Ding Ding Ding
Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match… Bobby Lee! and NEEEEEEEW Feagle Beagle Champion… Jeremy Gold!
Neither man is moving, Lee out cold thanks to his injuries and Gold from fright; its Halloween.
Larry Gordon: I don’t even know what to say.
?
The timekeeper goes to grab the Fecal Beagle Title… but it’s gone missing! The close by officials look around, scanning the crowd for anyone who may have grabbed it whilst the cameras weren’t looking. Unfortunately, there is no sign of the title, and no one seems to know what the hell happened. The timekeeper shrugs, Gold looking upset and shocked. He quickly runs backstage, in fear of further disappearances.
Linzi Martin: I didn’t even notice someone take it.
Larry Gordon: I suspect something is afoot tonight.
*****Kanga Roped*****
Jeremy Gold and Rupert the Kangaroo are in Shawn West’s office, Rupert smoking a cigarette. He chirps (if memory serves, that’s what they do) in a random series of notes, turning to Gold.
Jeremy Gold: Yeah, yeah. Maybe we’re safe this week. I mean, only Rocky and Bubba got attacked last week… and, I mean, it’s not like we’re that high on the totem pole to worry about being attacked…
Rupert shoots Gold a dark look, then kicks Simon’s puppet across the room. Jeremy holds his head, nodding.
Jeremy Gold: Okay, okay! I’M not high enough on the totem pole. You’re a god around here, I got it. Sorry.
A knock at the door, Jeremy and Rupert look up. Rupert starts in, Jeremy hiding behind the desk.
Jeremy Gold: Um… Come in?
The door flies open, the NAP walking in with huge grins on their faces. They close the door behind them, walking up to the pair.
Jeremy Gold: OH GOD!! SECURITY!!
Monkey McDee: Jeremy, Jeremy! Come on now, buddy. You don’t think we’d hurt you, do ya?
Jeremy ducks behind the desk, Rupert taking a defensive stance (assuming he CAN assume a defensive stance. I mean, he IS a kangaroo). Not-Stryker reaches behind his back as they draw closer, Jeremy Gold screaming.
Jeremy Gold: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME?!
Not-Stryker laughs, pulling out a bag.
Monkey McDee: We’re not sure yet. But we have an idea…
Rupert lashes out, but is trapped inside the netted bag. Gold goes to run, but knocks himself out as his head bumps the bottom of the desk. The scene quickly fades out.
*****I Quit Grudge Match*****
*****Taboo versus Hostile*****
Drowning Pool’s “Love and War” hit the PA system as Taboo steps out on to the ramp.
Jenny Jersey: The following match is an “I Quit” match. Introducing first, from Boulder, Colorado weighing in at two-hundred sixty six pounds. TABOOOOOOOOO!
Taboo starts his walk down to the ring to await Hostile. NO, Hostile runs down and takes Taboo down before he can get to the ring. Hostile with a rear waist lock and plants Taboo onto the ramp. Hostile quick to his feet and pulls Taboo up with him. Hostile with a short arm clothesline THAT Taboo Ducks! Taboo with the Taboo Press, laying a barrage of headbutts down on the skull of Hostile.
Hostile manages to roll Taboo off and both men get to their feet. Taboo moves in for an elbow and collar tie up but Hostile gives Taboo a kick to the gut that doubles him over. Hostile smashes Taboo’s head against the guardrail before panting him down with a hard body slam. Hostile grabs Taboo and brings him to his feet and runs him head first into to the stage set.
Taboo fires back with a solid left followed with a vicious right that sends Hostile back a step. Hostile answers with some fists of his own as the two fight their way Backstage. Hostile again goes to slam Taboo’s head off something hard but this time Taboo blocks and hits a few hard elbows to Hostile’s mid-section. Taboo with a suplex through the catering table and Hostile winces as fragments of the table pierce his flesh.
Taboo to his feet and walks over to Hostile, picks him up and sends him right back down with the Dead Weight German Suplex. Taboo grabs a fire extinguisher and patiently waits as Hostile makes it to his feet. The Jersey City Demon makes it to a vertical base just in time to get a shot to the back of the head with the extinguisher. Taboo then empties its contents into the eyes of a prone Hostile. Taboo picks up Larsen and sends him flying behind him with a over the top belly to belly suplex.
Taboo heads over and grabs a camera off a camera man’s shoulder and brings it down onto the head of Hostile. NO, Hostile rolls out of the way just in time. Hostile rolls up to his feet as Taboo tries to swing the camera at Hostile a second time. And this time it connects with Hostile’s head. Taboo tosses the camera aside and and locks in the Taboo Squeeze! Hostile grits his teeth as he tries to fight through the pain. Taboo applying pressure with everything he has as Hostile finally releases a yell of pain. Hostile is refusing to give in as he begins to roll. Taboo tries to adjust his grip but Hostile manages to break the hold with a mule kick from his free leg.
Taboo goes pick Hostile up but is meet with an exploder suplex out of nowhere. Both men laying on the ground as security and medics swarm in. Both men get to their feet and start laying out every single person in a uniform before locking eyes with each other. Taboo’s eyes filled with pure hatred, Hostile’s filled with loathing. They charge each other simultaneously and start trading fist as their war carries out the the street.
Hostile takes Taboo to the ground with a double leg take down and follows up with few hard kicks to Taboo’s ribs. Hostile grabs a tire iron from some guy trying to change a flat. Taboo get to his feet just as Hostile connects with the tire iron to the ribs. Taboo doubles over and Hostile brings the tire iron down across his back, knocking Taboo face down on the sidewalk. An evil smirk creeps over the face of the Jersey City Demon as he takes a few steps back. Taboo on his hands and knees as Hostile runs in with a punt to the head. Taboo flips to his back from the force of the blow and Hostile moves in with another kick to the ribs. Hostile grabs the first weapon he can find, a motorcycle helmet. The owner of the helmet tries to stop Hostile from take his property. His protest earns him a vicious lariat. Larsen turns his attention back on Taboo, who his just starting to get back to his feet. Hostile brings the helmet down just as Taboo’s arm shoots up. Taboo catches the helmet before it connects and yanks it out of Hostiles hand. Taboo with a kick to the gut and and snap suplex to the concrete. Both men down as the Police start to arrive. Both men get to their feet as they become surrounded by law enforcement.
Hostile leaps for Taboo, Taboo runs at Hostile, and the police grab both men to drag them down. Taboo lashes out at one officer, knocking him clean out with a right to the temple. Hostile takes an officer down with a right of his own. And both men hit the ground and convulse as the officers use tasers to subdue them Both Hostile and Taboo are in handcuffs as we head to commercial
?
*****Golden Burn*****
We find ourselves backstage, following Shawn West. The GM of REBEL Pro walks up to his office door, grabbing the handle. He hears something crash inside, flying into the room to see the place trashed and a blinded kangaroo upside-down in a corner.
Shawn West: Rupert?! What the hell… JEREMY!!!
No reply from Gold, as Rupert struggles with the net encasing his head. Shawn slowly walks over, cautious.
Shawn West: Rupert… Rupert, it’s Shawn. It’s going to be okay. Just calm down, I’ll get you out of this, okay?
After a few moments, Shawn has managed to get the netting off Rupert’s head. Rupert looks around, scared and confused. He notices the mess, shaking his head and clicking (maybe, I dunno that they CAN’T do that) at the disarray. Shawn looks around, checking under the desk.
Shawn West: Rupert, have you seen Jeremy? I can’t find him anywhere…
Rupert’s ears perk up, and he turns towards the bathroom door. He hops over, Shawn West in tow. As they reach the door, Rupert raps a foot off of it.
Jeremy Gold: OCCUPIED!!
Shawn West: Jeremy! What happened?
Jeremy Gold: I… uh… there was… um… I had to drop a deuce!
Shawn looks to Rupert, who seems to shake his head no. West looks back at the door, grabbing the handle.
Shawn West: Jeremy. Out.
Jeremy Gold: It’s a big one! Might take a while, you go ahead…
Shawn West: NOW, JEREMY.
A silent pause, Shawn and Rupert waiting. A click, then the door handle turns, and out walks Jeremy Gold…
Shawn West: OH MY G… Who did this to you?!
The camera looks up to see Jeremy Gold with the PWA logo branded into his forehead. Jeremy tries to hold a cloth to it, but it’s been burned into his skull. He shakes his head, muttering.
Jeremy Gold: I don’t… I didn’t get a look…
Rupert taps his feet in frustration, unable to talk but knowing that Jeremy isn’t talking. Shawn looks to Rupert, seeming to understand Rupert’s annoyance and stands nose-to-nose with Gold.
Shawn West: Jeremy. I’m going to ask you once more. Who did this to you?
Jeremy resists for a moment, but fear kicks in as he realizes how close Shawn is and what could happen. He starts to cry.
Jeremy Gold: It was the NAP! They pulled out a chain… started a lighter, heated it up… they held it to my head for what seemed like HOURS… it hurt so bad, I ran into the bathroom, dumped my head face-first in the toilet bowl…
Shawn shakes his head, a look of anger. He pulls out his cell, punching in a number. As the other person picks up, Shawn speaks angrily.
Shawn West: This has gone TOO far. Get. Here. NOW.
Shawn hangs up, calling for security.
Shawn West: I want any PWA talents found and brought to my office at once. I will not stand for this kind of blatant disrespect for human boundaries on MY Pay-Per-View. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!
The security officials leave the room, an APB on any PWA roster members loitering the arena.
*****Tag Team Singles Match!*****
*****Vincent Black versus Anna Mathews*****
Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a contest scheduled for one fall!
Right off the bat, we get an unexpected surprise via Joan Jett vocals.
Who can turn the world on with a smile?
Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Multicolored spotlights flash towards the curtain as the answer to those enternal questions springs on thru dressed as a Dada-styled Mary Tyler Moore. Streamers and baloons and fifty dollar bils are raining from the sky, leaving the crowd with no alternative but to blow the roof of the building.
Well, it’s you, girl and you should know it
Peach fuzz in every little movement
Heavy duty fireworks go boom. And Anna grins, squeals, barely even looking at the ring.
You show that love is all around
No need to fake it
You can have the town
Why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
She bounces and twirls down the ramp, nearly falling down a few times from getting too dizzy.
How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big
And girl, this time, you’re all alone
A speedy pre-victory hand-slapping lap around the ring. Tee-hee. Pre-Victory. Followed by a baseball slide inside the ropes.
Well, it’s time you started livin’
It’s time you let someone else do some givin’
The Queen of the Dodos pops up, arms outstreched, blowing kisses, her big musical ta-da moment. Everybody has one of those, right?
Love is all around
No need to fake it
You can have the town
Why don’t you take it
You’re gonna make it after all
The hat is thrown up in the air. And thus ends perhaps the shortest full song entrance known at a flat minute.
**Vincent Black’s Entrance**
Jenny Jersey: The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, to my left. She represents Victory Wrestling! Standing in at five feet five inches, she is Victory’s Car Crash Champion, ANNA MATHEWS!!!
A mix of cheers and jeers, Anna bowing.
Jenny Jersey: And her opponent! Representing REBEL Pro! Weighing three hundred and thirty one pounds, he is one-half of the REBEL Pro World Tag Team Champions, representing Hardcore Entertainment, this is VINCENT BLACK!!!
Anna and Vincent look each other up and down, measuring each other up. Vincent laughs, rolling out of the ring. He goes straight for the objects beneath the ring, tossing in a stop sign, a trash can, a roll of barbed wire. He pulls out a few light tubes, grinning as he starts into the ring.
Linzi Martin: Oh, this is gonna get messy…
Larry Gordon: Indeed; those light bulbs aren’t forgiving.
Linzi Martin: Who’s talking about the light tubes? I’m talking about my jeans. If Vincent’s already pulling light tubes, I’m gonna be so we…
Larry Gordon: WATCH OUT, VINCE!
It’s too late as Anna Mathews slides in, baseball sliding right into the light tubes and smashing them into Vincent’s face. Vincent falls to ringside, Anna grinning. She heads for a nearby turnbuckle, measuring up Vincent. Vincent wipes his face, shaking it off and standing. Anna jumps, looking for a cross-body… caught in mid-air! Powerslam!! Vincent falls back a bit on impact, finding his way to a knee. He reaches under the ring, grabbing the first thing he can locate, pulling out… a fire extinguisher? Vincent unhooks the hose, wrapping it around Anna’s neck and pulling back.
Larry Gordon: Well, at least he’s displaying the REBEL Pro style. I just wish he’d consider not choking out a WOMAN.
Linzi Martin: YES! CHOKE HER! GOD YES!!
Larry Gordon: Odd as it is… that doesn’t surprise me.
Vincent finally releases Anna, pulling the tab on the extinguisher. Anna starts to get to a knee, Vincent blasting her in the face with a cloud from the extinguisher. Anna drops, Vincent closing in. He continues to blast Anna with the contents of the extinguisher, a sinister grin. Anna sinks to the ground, her hands flailing slowly as she seems knocked out by the gasses. Vincent drops the extinguisher, turning to face the crowd. He throws his arms up in victory, pointing back towards Mathews while yelling “THAT’S how it’s done!” He turns around, reaching down to grab up Anna by the hair.
Larry Gordon: Now, I KNOW pulling a woman’s hair is off limits. I mean…
Linzi Martin: PULL HER HAIR! MAKE IT HURT! YES!!
Larry Gordon: There are some things that even you shouldn’t ge… OH HELL!!!
Linzi Martin: HA! PUNCH HIS NUTS!! Make his ass puke! Punch ‘em punch ‘em punch ‘em!!!
Anna Mathews shows some sign of life as she repeatedly groin shoots Vincent, who bends over, falls to the side and pukes on the floor. Anna takes a moment to gather her breath, crawling towards the ring. She reaches out, grabbing something and dragging it in close to her. Vincent manages to his knee, holding his groin. He shuffles over to the crowd barrier, using the barrier to drag himself to his feet. He turns, still clutching his giblets, stumbling over to Anna. Keeping his pelvic area back, he grabs her by the hair and pulls her up…
Larry Gordon: What the hell is that?!
Linzi Martin: Is Anna REALLY using PuppetLisa to gag Vincent Black?
Larry Gordon: Who knows where the hell that thing has been? And she’s basically gagging Vincent with it?
Linzi Martin: She’s going to need a LOT of sanitizer to get all of Vincent’s germs off PuppetLisa.
Vincent falls back, more shocked than injured. He grabs his mouth and nose, trying to rub out the slight pain. He shakes his head, charging up to Anna. Anna throws a stiff kick to Vincent’s left leg, Black buckling. Anna throws a right hook to Vincent’s face, he sways a bit before Anna smacks him a good one. Vincent takes a moment, now shocked and a little hurt, as Anna turns around. Vincent gets to his feet, just barely managing to avoid a shot with a trash can. He jumps as Anna turns, nailing a dropkick. Vincent turns around, grabbing a length of barbed wire and wrapping it around his boot. He turns, Anna attacking with the garbage can again. Vincent tries to duck, but is caught under the can and hits the floor. Anna brings the trashcan up, bearing down on Vincent. Black quickly throws his barbed wire wrapped boot, catching Anna’s side and causing her to drop the can. She stumbles back, Vincent grabbing the can and throwing it at Anna. It bounces off, Vincent grabbing the barbed wire again. He grabs up the trash can, wrapping the barbed wire through the handles and over the opening in the can.
Larry Gordon: What the hell? Is this really the time to make hardcore banjos?
Anna starts to her feet, Vincent with a nasty smile. As Anna turns, Vincent flips the can upside-down and brings the top down over Anna’s head and shoulders.
Larry Gordon: HOLY HELL!!
Linzi Martin: OH, FUCK YES!!!
Anna lets out a pained cry from inside the can, the barbs scarring her arms. Vincent throws a crescent kick, knocking the can and Anna over, torquing her around in the can. Anna manages to slide out, cuts and scrapes up her arms and torso. Vincent turns to the crowd once again, the REBEL audience roaring with approval at the carnage. Vincent turns around, Anna pulling herself up on the apron. Vincent elbows her from behind, rolling her into the ring. He looks under the ring, climbing under it in search of something. Anna crawls to a corner, using the distraction to regroup as Vincent searches under the ring, the crowd growing anxious. Anna starts to her feet, the crowd near the west side apron suddenly erupting in cheers. Vincent Black emerges from his search, hauling out a table! Anna looks on, somewhat stunned at just how far Vincent is willing to push. Anna slides out on the opposite side of the ring, reaching under and pulling out a kendo stick. She slides back into the ring, noticing Vincent wrapping the table in barbed wire. She slides out behind him, Black not realizing as he is too busy with his vicious plan. Anna grabs Vincent’s shoulder, spinning him around and smacking him in the gut with the kendo stick, Vincent keeling over and gives Anna a clean shot at his neck and the back of his head. Vincent goes down, Anna slapping him with the kendo stick another couple times to keep him down. She reaches into the ring, grabbing the stop sign (remember how Vincent through that in there earlier? Seriously, pay attention.) and holding it over Vincent’s head. Black starts to one knee, shaking off the assault, starting to his feet. Anna brings the stop sign down on Vincent’s head, nearly decapitating him and he falls to his stomach. Anna grabs an arm, dragging him towards the ring. She slides in, pulling Vincent with her. Once inside the ring, Anna makes the cover.
Larry Gordon: The sad thing is, REBEL loses.
1!
2!
3! NO!!
Linzi Martin: Vincent Black just narrowly kicks out, and the chaos continues!!
Anna looks at the referee, shocked. She turns back to Vincent, who is barely moving. She starts towards the ropes, jumping up for a lionsault… but Vincent kicks up! Anna is tackled over the ropes! She grabs the top rope, managing to hang on and land on the apron. She stands precariously on the apron, looking down at the barbed-wire wrapped table below her, not noticing as Vincent comes flying up behind her. He lifts a foot as Anna turns around… BIG BOOT! Anna lands on the table! Vincent falls back!
Larry Gordon: HE WOULDN’T!
Linzi Martin: Do it, Vincent! Oh, god DO IT!! YES!!
Vincent leaps over the top rope, barely clearing the ropes as he twists a bit, falling on top of Anna Mathews as they break through the table.
Linzi Martin: YES!! YYEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!
Larry Gordon: Really?!
Neither one moves as the referee checks them both, waiting to see if either one could survive the crash. Just as he’s about to throw up the X, Vincent moves, instinctively draping his arm across Mathews.
Larry Gordon: And REBEL brings it home!!
1!!
2!!
3!!
NO!!!
Somehow, Anna gets the shoulder out, Vincent painfully wincing in shock. He starts to climb out of the rubble, the barbed wire tearing at his flesh. He grabs the apron, managing to get to a knee as Anna Mathews lie motionless. Vincent looks to Anna, then at the carnage around them. He grabs a splint of wood, standing over Anna as she starts to move ever so slightly. She reaches out, grabbing the first thing her hand can locate… as Vincent drops the plank, grabs his groin and falls to his knees. Anna pulls back, reaching out again and knocking Vincent on his ass. Vincent is still grabbing his cajones, Anna crawling around as she searches for something to help her up.
Linzi Martin: What the hell… grab a guy’s nuts? She’s giving chicks everywhere a bad name.
Larry Gordon: In all fairness, she appears somewhat disoriented and may not kn…
Linzi Martin: I was joking. About damn time Vincent Black got nut checked. Cocky bastard.
Anna finally finds a set of ring steps, slowly hauling herself to her feet. Vincent rolls onto his belly, still using one hand to hold his balls while using the other to lift himself. Anna is to one foot now, shaking off some of the weariness. She gazes in Vincent’s direction, standing up and grabbing a nearby fan’s drink. She takes a sip, then walks up to Black. Vincent is to one knee, still recuperating, and turns around… getting a splash of Fecal Beagle in the face! Dropkick by Anna!! Vincent drops to the floor, Anna grabbing up a piece of broken table still wrapped in barbed wire. She kneels beside Vincent, blasting him repeatedly in the back with the plank.
Larry Gordon: BY GOD!
Linzi Martin: YES! Draw some blood! Make him scream! Tear his ass up! Yes, yes, yes, YES, YES, YYYYYEEEEESSSSSSS!!!
Anna finally drops the plank, Vincent’s back resembling something of a Riona Langly vag. (OH! I WENT THERE!) Anna grabs the apron, pulling herself up and rolling into the ring. She takes some time to get a breather, regaining her bearings. Vincent struggles to his knees outside, wiping the soda out of his face. He slowly gets to his feet, stumbling towards the crowd barrier. A fan pats his back, Vincent reaching out and grabbing his belt. He rips it off the fan, turning in and heading for the ring. Anna stands, ready for the attack.
Vincent quickly charges the corner, Anna moving just before the body splash. Vincent comes off, Anna attempting a german suplex on the much bigger Black, who manages to plant his feet. Vincent with an elbow to Anna’s head, Mathews stumbles back before Vincent lashes out with the belt. The belt smacks Anna once, twice, three, four, five times, Anna dropping to one knee. Vincent maneuvers behind Anna, wrapping the belt around her neck, pushing on her back with his foot and pulling up on the belt. After a few moments, Anna stops moving, her body going limp. Vincent uses the belt to drag her up, pulling her onto his shoulders.
Larry Gordon: Is this really necessary?!
Linzi Martin: HEY! This is Hardcore Entertainment! It’s never necessary, just proving a point!!
Vincent lurches down, dropping Mathews with the KEG TAP!! COVER!
1!
2!
3!
DING DING
Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner is VINCENT BLACK!!!
“Carbomb” kicks up as Vincent grabs his head, raising an arm in victory. He drops to the canvas, rolling out of the ring. He heads to the announce table, grabbing up his… wait… where’s his Tag Title? Vincent starts questioning the officials at ringside, no one knows what the hell happened to his belt.
Larry Gordon: Well this is turning out to be an interesting night. Mystery attacks, property going missing…
Linzi Martin: And we don’t have time for this horse shit. Our next match is coming up right after this commercial!
*****More Shit Gets Stolen*****
The scene opens up on Virgil Keenan’s locker room, getting ready before his big match. He lies at a weight bench, pumping an unknown- though estimately high- poundage of weights. He puts the bar down, grabbing a nearby towel.
Virgil Keenan: I’m gonna own those two bitches tonight…
Virgil lifts his mask, but the towel covers his face as he brushes away some sweat. Unbeknownst to the Masked Man, a small figure creeps down from the airshaft, grabbing the Aggression Championship and slinking back up to whence it came, leaving no trace. Virgil removes the towel and pulls his mask on, in one swift motion. He gets up, ready to go.
Virgil Keenan: Rejoice, motherfuckers. The champ is h…
Virgil looks to where he laid the Aggression Title, and sees it nowhere. He starts to search the surrounding area, trying to locate his belt.
Virgil Keenan: What the hell?! Where did I…
Virgil continues to search his locker room, as we fade away to ringside.
*****Ultimate Tables Match*****
*****Gabe Shelley versus Finale*****
Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is an Ultimate Tables Match schedule for a fifteen minute time limit. The winner will be the competitor who puts his opponent through the most tables.
The lights in the arena dim and the big screen comes to life with silent jump cuts of Finale hitting various moves on AOWF wrestlers. Anticipation among the masses builds, because they are stoked to have someone to throw their garbage at. In fact, most of them have been saving it for this moment.
The scene then cuts to a black screen and the arena goes pitch dark. Little flashes go off all over the place and the epileptics in the audience are losing their shit. The big screen reads ‘Finale’ in winter white script and is followed by “Whatever Happened To My Rock and Roll?” by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club cuing up. Their is decent build up and when the song really kicks in, pyro explodes coming from each end of the stage. In sequence the light explodes until they converge right in front of the curtain and shoot up a fountain of impressive red sparks.
You want a part of me / You want the whole thing / You want to feel something more than I could ever bring / You want it badly / You want it tangled / I want to feel something more than I was strangled…
The signature ‘F’ logo zooms in on the screen and Finale appears on the stage. He is decked out in his Snake Plissken Halloween costume, complete with a fake rifel. The man they call Super Shredder walks down the ramp, looking out into the crowd. He stops and glances around the arena before laughing and spitting in front of the nearest fans. He nearly takes a flying cup of beer to the head but effortlessly dodges it, maintaining a smug grin. He makes his way to the ring and enters, sliding in under the bottom rope. He then runs to a turnbuckle and stands with one knee up. He leans on said knee and looks around, then towards the ramp. He stares into the crowd, doing his best Kurt Russell impression.
The lights slowly dim down until it’s pitch black and the low guitar strumming of “In Fate’s Hands” by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus rolls throughout the arena. Three spotlights shine and revolve around as if searching for someone, and the fans are on their feet, cheering in anticipation for the hero they know is coming. At the ten mark when the song rocks into life, red, white and blue pyros shoot outward with controlled chaos from the entrance stage for seven straight seconds. By the end of it, the three spotlights have aimed at the stage and await the arrival of a great fan favorite.
I remember a year ago
I was standing in the crowd
Waiting for my chance to break through
My chance to live again
At last the marVel Gabe Shelley comes out in the midst of these lyrics from behind the curtain, the fans’ cheers only growing louder, and he steps up to the spotlight. He dons his hooded vest and points out to the fans. He lifts his hood up slightly to get a view of the fans, his face peaking out. In this hype, he plays to the fans with a smile and they highly respond to him and the lyrics.
Now it seems I’ve found some friends who
Finally understand what it takes
To make this dream come true
We’ll be here ’til the end
Shake it! Break it! Get off your feet!
Come dance with me and don’t you fake it
Shake it! Break it! Get off your feet!
Come dance with me and don’t you fake it
The fans are positively crazy about Gabe. He makes his way down the ramp, tags several hands along the way and climbs up the ring steps. He looks around one more time from his hood as he jumps up and over the ropes and spins around. Gabe picks a corner and easily jumps to the second ropes and bows down. He throws his hood back and his arms out with a smile on his face. He points outwards to the crowd as he jumps backwards, spinning and landing on his feet. He draws to the center of the ring and throws his hands out; the crowd’s roar of cheers only grow louder and flashes from cameras capture photos of the marVel in all his glory.
Oh, wish I could thank you all for what you have done
and all of the things that you have shared with me.
Oh, wish I could take you all too where I must go wish I could take you all.
I’ll take you with my heart.
Gabe takes his vest off before bending and stretching his back over the top ropes. After a brief warm up, he’s ready to go. As the music dies die, he and the fans are ready.
Jenny Jersey: Introducing first from Buffalo, New York weighing in at 245lbs., ‘Super Shredder’…Finale!
The crowd rains down boos, despite Finale being a hometown boy. Shelley grins smugly as Finale just stares across the ring at him.
Jenny Jersey: And his opponent from Columbus, Ohio weighing in at 240lbs., ‘The marVel’…Gabe Shelley!
The audience erupts with cheers, Shelley basking in their adoration. He plays to them as Finale can be seen glaring
from across the ring.
Larry Gordon: Well I guess we know who the fans are behind in this one.
Linzi Martin: It’s a shame too, Finale is one of the premier talents in the entire AoWF. Not to mention the premier talent I’d like to fuck.
Larry Gordon: Linzi we’ve talked about this…
Finale and Gabe Shelley standing dead center in the middle of the ring. They are face to face, with Finale slinging all kinds of trash talk. Shelley comes back with some of his own, shoving his rival. Finale smirks and then fires back with a shove of his own. Shelley attempts a right hand but Finale ducks under it and hits the ropes. On his return Finale ducks under another right hand, positioning himself behind marVel. Shelley, having the experience, immediately jumped up and laid the second generation star out with a Pele kick.
marVel called out to all of his fans, earning a chorus of cheers that grew louder with each right hand he delivered to his downed opponent. He then sent Finale into the ropes and caught him with a back drop after a lariat evasion. Finale was put down hard on his back which allowed Shelley to climb to the top rope. Dazed and confused, Finale stumbled to his feet, oblivious to Shelley’s intentions. Before Finale knew what was what, Shelley drove his face into the canvas like a touchdown spike with a top rope bulldog. Finale’s face nearly left a dent in the mat, the fans cheering in approval.
Larry Gordon: Super Shredder’s face planted into the mat!
Linzi Martin: You know, that was a rude thing to do.
Shelley exited the ring and collected one of the many tables at ringside. He slid it into the ring and then signaled to his fans that it was time to do some damage. With them cheering him on, Shelley entered the ring and prepared the table, resting it diagonally on a turnbuckle. Finale slowly got to his feet but it was too late, Shelley took hold of him. He sent Finale into the ropes and subdued him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He then got Super Shredder up and laid him back on the table. Shelley then called to the crowd and charged, looking for a spear! Finale sidestepped Shelley at the last second but Shelley put the breaks on before going through the table. However he turned right into a running arched big boot that met with such force that he was sent back through the table.
Finale – 1
Shelley – 0
Time – 13:13
Linzi Martin: And Finale draws first blood! One Foot in the Grave right through the table.
Larry Gordon: Gabe Shelley might not get up after that kick, it had some serious anger behind it.
Linzi Martin: Finale is living the dream right now, being able to legally abuse his former employer.
Larry Gordon: And he’s making the most of that opportunity
The crowd rained boos down on the Buffalo Butcher as he dragged Shelley out from the rubble. He then stood over his former employer and stared down at him. The crowd continued to display their hatred of Finale, via projectile garbage and harsh jeers. Finale smirked in response before dropping to his knees. He then began battering Shelley with massive rights and lefts, taunting Shelley in between each punch.
Finale: This. Feels. Awful. Am. I. Right?
Shelley was unprotected, his face nearly being pounded into mush. Shelley slowly started to fight back but Finale switched to lashing at him with elbows, one of which caught the corner of Shelley’s eye, busting him open. With the momentum on his side, Finale got Shelley up and sent him over the top rope. Instinctively, Shelley caught himself and landed on the apron but Finale charged at hit him, looking for a spear of his own.
Shelley hopped over the top rope and landed in the ring, causing Finale to go through the ropes and collide with the ring barrier head first. The Buffalo Butcher rolled over to reveal a large gash on the top of his head, with blood beginning to seep out.
Larry Gordon: My God! Finale’s head might be cracked right open.
Linzi Martin: That was definitely a rough spill and he’s bleeding. Damnit.
Shelley slowly exited the ring, favoring his ribs. Finale tried to get up but Shelley met him with a running knee to the jaw. Finale was back up to his feet for a moment, but only to stagger backwards and fall against the ring barrier again. Shelley took hold of a table and leaned it up against the ring barrier. He then called out to his fans for support before getting Finale up. However Finale was playing possum and he recovered, blasting Shelley in the chin with a leaping knee strike. Finale then subdued him with a lariat and positioned him again, leaning on the table.
With the crowd calling for (more of) his blood, Finale climbed up onto the apron. He took a moment to swear at and insult the crowd, with his back to Shelley. The crowd then came alive as Shelley dove into the ring between Finale’s legs. With his opponent turned around to find him gone, Shelley hastily hit the opposing ropes and before Finale could react, he was nailed with a spear through the ropes, taking him off of the apron and through the awaiting table! The crowd went insane as Shelley and Finale laid in the wreckage.
Finale – 1
Shelley – 1
Time: 10:52
Larry Gordon: What a move from Gabe Shelley! That was one of the quickest recoveries I’ve ever seen!
Linzi Martin: It was like he was hit by lightning! Finale had no time to react.
The scored was tied up at this point, with Shelley as the man standing. He got Finale up and sent him hard into the ring barrier. He then set up another table and looked around into the crowd. Unsatisfied, Shelley shook his head and set up a second table beside the original. He then got Finale up and laid him across both. Shelley then ascended to the apron but aborted his flight when Finale started to get up.
The Buffalo Butcher tried to jump off of the table and catch Shelley with a flying knee but marVel sidestepped him and slid under the ring. He the reappeared behind Finale, with a Singapore can! The audience erupted and Finale turned, just in time to evade a big cane shot. Finale then quickly countered by putting Shelley down with a lariat. The former KoE Champion kicked the cane away and then turned his attention to a table.
Linzi Martin: It’s time for Super Shredder to take the lead.
Larry Gordon: Finale was wise to nullify that Singapore cane. When Gabe Shelley gets ahold of it, he becomes a different person entirely.
Linzi Martin: A dog with a bone Gordon, that’s all Shelley is.
Finale walked over to the arranged tables but stopped as he past the steel steps. He stared down at them and then at the ring barrier. He then shot one finger into the air, indicating an idea. He took hold of Shelley and looked as though he was attempting a suplex, however he laid Shelley’s feet on the barrier. He then positioned the former BWF Chairman’s head and hit him with an elevated rocker dropper onto the steel steps! Shelley’s face is driven into the steel, earning a collective gasp from his fans.
We then turned our attention to the front row where there stands the Official Gabe Shelley Fan Club: New York Chapter. A few dozen fans sit in the few front rows, all decked out in Gabe Shelley gear. However at this moment, they don’t look very pleased.
Linzi Martin: You know, these people should respect Finale. He saw the OGSFC waiting outside, not one of them with tickets. Do you know what he did? Bought them all tickets.
Larry Gordon: And why do you think he would do that?
Linzi Martin: Because he is a great man! That’s why!
Larry Gordon: No, really.
Linzi Martin: Oh clearly he wanted them to watch Shelley get destroyed. Really mean spirited stuff.
Finale walks over to the fans and laughs in their faces. They all jeer him but he just keeps laughing, pointing back at their fallen hero. Suddenly a young male member of the club flips Finale off, earning a huge pop from the crowd. Finale isn’t impressed, raising an eyebrow at the youngster. The Buffalo Butcher responded by pulling back and launching a massive gob of spit dead center on the child’s Heaven from Above t-shirt. And then came some more garbage.
Finale – 1
Shelley – 1
Time: 7:41
Super Shredder pie faces the child and then turns his attention to Shelley’s discarded cane. He picked it up and examined it, before taking a sadistic looking turn to his opponent. marVel was just getting to his feet when Finale cracked him over the head, sending a splash of blood into the front row. Shelley staggered backwards and Finale nailed him with a cane shot to the mid-section doubling him over. Finale then bent the cane over Shelley’s back, nearly snapping it which sent the BWF Hall of Famer to his knees.
Finale then stalked Shelley, asking him if he was done. Shelley was on all fours, not saying anything, blood tripping from his forehead onto the black floor mats. Finale then cracked the cane over Shelley’s back again, putting him down to his stomach. Finale then took the time to set up another table, with Shelley seemingly out of it. Finale then grabbed Shelley and looked out into the crowd, before pointing at the steel steps.
Linzi Martin: And this is where Old Yeller gets laid to rest.
Larry Gordon: Finale has Shelley in a bad, bad way here.
Linzi Martin: I know. Isn’t it great?
The New York audience tried to rally behind Shelley, but Finale had him dead to rights. He grabbed Shelley by the hair and pulled his head back, smacking him in the face. After he didn’t get a response, Finale attempted to smash Shelley’s head off of the ring steps. However at the last second, Shelley hit Finale with a knee to the mid-section and countered beautifully with a reverse sto into the steps! Finale was downed, blood covering his right ear and the crowd had their hope restored.
The Buffalo Butcher tried to climb back into the ring but Shelley stopped him on the apron and climbed up with him. The two stood in front of the two tables from earlier and the crowd was ready for more damage. Finale tried to fight back but was obviously still dazed. Shelley hit him with a boot to the mid-section and then smashed Finale’s head into the ring post. He did it repeatedly, mocking his opponent and asking him if he was finished, if he quit. Finale refused so Shelley lifted him up and went for the Jersey Bomb but Finale reversed it into a head scissors, or at least he tried to. Shelley held on and leaped off of the apron, putting Finale through two tables with The Foreshadowing!
Finale – 1
Shelley – 3
Time: 4:56
Larry Gordon: Gabe Shelley may have just won this match with that move!
Linzi Martin: It was desperation! That was the best Shelley has, Finale still has five minutes to recover.
Larry Gordon: Sorry, I can’t hear you over the noise from Shelley’s fan club. Fucking Finale.
Shelley was rolling, with a renewed sense of malicious competition. He mounted Finale and started laying into him with massive shots. Finale was able to shove him off and crawl towards the ramp. Shelley let him, following with a table in hand and a mean look on his face. When he felt that Finale had gotten far enough, Shelley jabbed the table into Finale’s lower back, subduing him. Shelley then set the table up and took hold of his opponent. He climbed up on top of the table with him and attempted to put Finale through with the Stripper’s Real Name, however Finale spun it around, evaded a strike and Shelley was sent through the table with his own Junk Yard Jam out of nowhere! Both men laid in the rubble, bloodied and banged up.
Finale – 2
Shelley – 3
Time: 3:44
The Buffalo Butcher wasted no time, immediately eyeing to sets of scaffolds off to the side of the stage. He quickly went to work, setting up two tables and then two on top of the originals, in order to make a massive stack. This took time and allowed Shelley a moment to recover. When Finale came back for him, Shelley picked up an entrance ramp light and smashed Finale in the face with it, busting the side of his head open even more. Shelley then took him and planted him with a ddt, right into another light! The light shot out sparks and smoke, Finale rolling on to his back. His face showed multiple glass punctures and the blood came quickly.
Linzi Martin: Is he insane!?!
Larry Gordon: Gabe Shelley just nearly killed Finale! He could have electrecuted him. However he may have just ended this match. Finale has less than three minutes to win this match!
Shelley then got Finale up and hit him with a right hand to put him down to a knee. Bloodied and barely able to see, Finale watched as Shelley backed up laughing, climbing the scaffolding. He then sat their cross legged. He was battered, bloodied but not broken, smiling at Finale as if to say ‘Come get me.’ Super Shredder slowly got up and looked at the clock. He then looked over at the O.G.S.F.C. section and they were all now flipping him off. He smirked and went after Shelley.
Once atop the scaffolding, Shelley met Finale with a big knee to the face. Shelley called out to his fans once more, a bloody mess. They cheered him on as he pointed at Finale, then at the four table stack. He then obliged and set Finale up for the reVolt but Finale wiggled out and landed behind him. Finale attempted the Stripper’s Real Name but Shelley was able to back flip out of it. However Finale shoved something into Shelley’s face, taking him back.
Larry Gordon: That was a glass shard from the broken stage light!
Linzi Martin: Oh karma is a bitch Shelley!
Finale launched a ‘fuck you’ spit glob into the crowd and then set Shelley up. He walked a little bit and then came off the 20 foot scaffolding with the Stripper’s Real Name through four tables! The crowd gasped and sighed as their dreams of victory literally shattered into a million pieces.
Finale – 6
Shelley – 3
Time: 0:16
Jenny Jersey: Here is your winner, Finale!
‘Whatever Happened to my Rock N’ Roll’ cues up and EMT’s rush onto the scene. Finale was up to his feet after a few moments, a referee holding his hand high. Finale then shoved the ref off and stumbled to the back, but not before taking one more satisfied look at Shelley’s broken body.
Linzi Martin: What an insane match! And look, it’s Finale who is walking away.
Larry Gordon: Gabe Shelley looks like he is in rough shape here. You never want to see this.
Linzi Martin: He knew what he signed up for. That’s what happens when you face a butcher.
Larry Gordon: Wow. Finale’s Fan Club might actually be worse than Shelley’s…
Linzi Martin: You’re calling me an entire club? Is that a fat joke? Are you calling me fat?
Larry Gordon: …
Cut.
*****Mystery Tournament: The End*****
*****$100,000 & The Number One Contender’s Cup*****
JENNY JERSEY: The next match is the FINALS of the MYSTERY TOURNAMENT! Introducing first… from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing two-hundred and sixty-five pounds… Led to the ring by Hugh Aredone and Rocky Logan… “THE MILLENNIUM GAME” JUSTIN CASE!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
“Victory” by P Diddy and Company hits the P.A. Out comes “The Millennium Game” Justin Case! He stands at the entrance way, with his manager behind him, as pyro shoots on either side while he raises his oh so talented arms in the very talented air! Case struts down the ramp as Hugh Aredone limpingly lingers behind, followed then by Rocky Logan, enforcer extraordinaire. He struts to the squared circle with a cockily arrogance that only he can endeavor. Once from inside the ring, he steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd on hand. Whether they like him or not, it does not matter. His manager hits his cane on the apron showing his approval. Jumping off the ropes he prepares for the match pulling on the upper rope as his music ends. Then we fade outside.
JENNY JERSEY: Introducing his opponent…
HUGE MEGAPOP!
A huge vagina stands outside of the entrance to the Madison Square Garden arena, very similar to the last promo shot by Bubba J for his match against Justin Case. It needs to be mentioned that this huge vagina can talk and that there are two others standing behind him as though they are vagina guards.
“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Justin Case and I want to show the entire world that Bubba J is correctly stating that I am a huge pussy, but not only a huge pussy, but a hugely smelly and whiny pussy!”
The people are giving this huge vagina a wide area as he walks and speaks, but there are some that are listening. Also, its obviously not Justin Case but instead the Ragin’ Redneck himself, Bubba J.
“I walk around and claim Bubba J to be Bubba Gay, but in fact, I know that he’ll kick my ass either way because I’m a hugely overused smelly and whiny pussy that can’t win a match. Since I can’t win a match, I must resort to stating that I was given wins by Larry Gordon and have never once earned an actual win here in Rebel Pro, nor a single Rebel Pro title.”
At the mention of titles, the huge vagina off to the left picks up three large belts(made of cardboard) and places them on first the Justin Case vagina and then on Rocky’s “lips.”
“As you can see, these belts are nothing but cardboard which I have proclaimed that is all that myself and my partner Randy Raunchy Logan are able to have. Not to mention, Hugely Vagina, bring my damn Aggression Card… I mean Title belt.”
The one that brought the first belts places one more on it’s other “lip”.
“And now, I am proclaiming that I should be Aggression Champion because Jaice Wilds interfered with my match, costing me a real championship, the first in my career, and therefore is possibly a bigger pussy than I am.”
He stops for a moment.
“Change that, no one is a bigger pussy than myself, Justin Case. But I will continue to defend Larry Gordon and will remain Cardboard Champion of the world until that time that I actually get a bit of talent instead of always proclaiming to be talented… when I’m nothing more than a huge whiny and bitchy pussy. Until that time folks, I will continue to be scared of Bubba J and I know that next time I call him Bubba Gay, he’ll kick my lips down my vagina hole.”
We hear a muttering type ring from in between the lips and then a curse.
“Fuck!”
The Justin Case vagina turns and runs into the arena.
“Damn, too much making fun of Justin Case, forgot the time.”
The people are laughing outside, thinking of a vagina saying “fuck.” They head on by and we cut back to watch the huge vagina running down the hallway. Vincent Black steps from a doorway, and immediately begins to laugh.
“Thanks Vincent, I lost track of time in this huge vagina.”
Both snicker and then bust out laughing, Bubba J rushing down the hallway and into position as his music hits up loud in the arena.
The chorus of Saliva’s “Badass” hits up in the speakers and the Rebel-tron stays pictureless.
“Cause I’m a badass
And you don’t want to clash
Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash
Cause I’m a badass
And this war is your last
You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast”
The song transitions to the first verse.
“I need you to hear this loud and clear”
As the first lyric begins to play from Saliva’s “Badass”, Bubba J walks from the back and stares out to the crowd, from the dark hole that is between the two lips. The crowd laughs at his mockery of Justin Case.
“The line and the sand is drawn and I have no fear
When I see red all I need is a reason to set me off
To drop this bomb and pick yourself off the ground”
He slowly begins to walk down the ramp, just staring into the ring, in his own “zone” he pays very little attention to anything surrounding him. No fireworks, nothing spectacular, nothing flashy; just music and him walking.
JENNY JERSEY: From Durham, North Carolina; he stands at six feet and two inches while weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds… “The Ragin’ Redneck” Bubba J!
He sticks one arm through the hole and slips off the costume, which looked really weird to see an arm coming through that hole, let me tell you. Bubba J steps up the ring steps before climbing through the ropes. Bubba J then steps over to his corner, facing the entrance ramp and waiting on the damn match to begin.
“Cause I’m a badass
And you don’t want to clash
Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash
Cause I’m a badass
And this war is your last
You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast.”
JENNY JERSEY: From Durham, North Carolina; he stands at six feet and two inches while weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds… “The Ragin’ Redneck” Bubba J!
Bubba J steps up the ring steps before climbing through the ropes. Bubba J then steps over to his corner, facing Case and waiting on the damn match to begin.
DING DING
LARRY GORDON: Well, this is it! The finals of the Mystery Tournament!
LINZI MARTIN: Bubba J, the consummate brawler and Justin Case, arguably the best athlete in REBEL Pro history.
LARRY GORDON: The story of their careers is basically the story of REBEL Pro Wrestling. Former world champions! I’m ready for this one!
Bubba J and Justin Case circle each other. But neither locks up. Instead, they stop and stare at each other. Then they leave the ring and each grab a steel chair. Without a word spoken, we have a chair duel! The fans pop as they circle each other, chairs in hand! Bubba with a swing but Case moves out of the way. Case with a jab but Bubba moves out of the way. Bubba with a kick to Case’s abs! He swings the chair down, but Case blocks it! Case with a kick to Bubba’s gut! He swings the chair… Bubba ducks! Case drops his chair and immediately belly-to-back suplexes Bubba on it!
LARRY GORDON: Well, right there, you see, that’s Justin Case’s technical expertise winning out over the Ragin’ Redneck!
LINZI MARTIN: But it’s Bubba J, the most resilient man in this company!
Bubba flails around, holding his back. Case stalks him. Bubba with a chair huck—Case falls! Bubba gets up and throws Case into the corner. The fans go nuts as Bubba lands wild haymaker after wild haymaker each somehow connecting at the last possible second. Then Bubba throws his shoulder into the Just 2 Talented midsection. Again! And again! Again! And a final haymaker—the wildest of all—sends Case slumping in the corner. Bubba grabs the rope and starts stomping a mudhole in the sonbitch!
Bubba stops for a moment to look out at his cheering fans and to catch his breath. When he turns back, Case is slowly crawling away. Bubba climbs up to the second turnbuckle. Case slowly gets to his feet… but knocked down by a big axhandle! Bubba immediately picks Case up. He whips him across the ring. Picks him up… BIG SPINEBUSTER SLAM!
COVER!
ONE! CASE ALMOST IMMEDIATELY KICKS OUT! He rolls to the outside where he counsels with Aredone and Logan.
LARRY GORDAN: What an amazing kickout! At one! I think there might be someone else up for most resilient REBEL superstar!
LINZI MARTIN: These two men want to win this tourney, even if they don’t know what the prize is. What if it’s five bucks?
LARRY GORDAN: Men can build careers by winning tournaments like this. Bubba J and Vincent Black, Hardcore Entertainment, were put on the map because of the Best of the Best tag tournament in 2008! So if either guy wins this match and this tournament, it’s a hell of a bragging right!
Bubba J tells him to get back in the ring, but Case keeps talking strategy. Finally Bubba has had enough! He grabs the steel chair and leaves the ring. Case pretends he doesn’t know Bubba is coming and mulekicks Bubba as he raises the steel chair in the air. Case grabs the chair out of his hand and whacks him across the head with it! Bubba falls to the ground but Logan and Aredone pick him up. Case grabs him and whips him into the steel guard rail! Case pulls Bubba forward… right into a big belly-to-belly on the unforgiving cement! Case looks out at the booing fans and smiles. Aredone and Logan pull a table from under the ring and set it up for Case. Case drags Bubba towards it. He hooks him for a fisherman’s suplex THROUGH THE TABLE! But Bubba elbows out of it! Bubba with a series of rights and lefts! Headbutt to Case! Headbutt to Aredone! Headbutt to Logan! Bubba with a LOW BLOW to CASE! POWER BOMB THROUGH THE TABLE—NO! NO! Case with a hurricanrana to Bubba who lands on the table. Case leaps onto the corner of the ring apron, SHOOTING STAR PRESS THROUGH THE TABLE!
LARRY GORDON: This is why I love announcing—
LINZI MARTIN: –because you get to sit for long periods of time?
LARRY GORDON: Well, there’s that. But I also get to be front row for amazing moves like that! Only here, in REBEL Pro Wrestling!
Case rolls around on the ground, holding both his groin from the low blow and his midsection from the press through the table. Bubba isn’t moving. Finally, Case gets to his feet. He rolls Bubba into the ring. COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Case locks in THE GAMEBREAKER! But somehow Bubba slides out of it and flips Case over his shoulder! Bubba with a series of elbows to Case’s forehead. Bubba gets to one knee and drops another series of elbows. He gets to both feet and drops a big elbow. Back to his feet. Another! Another! He runs off of the ropes… another big elbow! Case slowly gets to his feet but Bubba takes him down with a big spear followed by a series of punches!
LARRY GORDON: Time for a barroom brawl!
LINZI MARTIN: Bubba J trying to change the tone of the match into one he knows he can dominate!
Case kicks forward and covers Bubba with his legs!
ONE!
TWO—KICKOUT!
LARRY GORDON: And now Case flipping it back to his style!
Bubba kicks out but Case still has control of his legs. He drops a knee into Bubba’s gut! Another! A third! And an elbow into the side of his knee! He applies a kneelock, wrenching it before transitioning it into a sharpshooter!
Bubba can’t do anything but reach for a steel chair that is close by. He reaches for it. Almost gets to it. Almost gets to it… but Aredone pulls away from him! But that’s okay, there’s still a second chair! He crawls towards it, Case trying to drag him back to the center. Aredone gets to that chair—but he’s too late! Bubba grabs it! He spins around and whacks Case with the chair, simultaneously breaking the move! Bubba waits as Case falls to the ground and slowly stands up… Trailer Park Trash—no! Case pushes Bubba away! … BACK SUPLEX FROM CASE TO BUBBA! Case takes a minute to recover as Bubba crawls around. Finally Case picks Bubba up… a SECOND Back Suplex! He ROLLS THROUGH! A THIRD! A FOURTH! ON A CHAIR! The fans can’t help but cheer for that! But then it turns to boos when he covers the Ragin’ Redneck!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE—KICKOUT!
Case picks Bubba up. Kick to the gut, headscissors, PILEDRIVER ON A CHAIR! NO! NO! Bubba reverses into a BIG BACK BODY DROP ONTO THE CHAIR! Bubba grabs the second chair. CHAIR HUCK nails Case just as he stands! COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE—KICKOUT!
Bubba lays both chairs on top of Case’s head. He climbs up the turnbuckle! FLYING ELBOW DROP! Case moves out of the way! BUT HE HITS THE CHAIRS! Case quickly picks Bubba up and hits him with a SINGLE ARM DDT TO THE WOUNDED ARM ONTO THE CHAIRS! COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
KICKOUT!
Case wraps one chair around Bubba’s arm. He goes to the top rope with the second chair. GUILLOTINE LEG DROP CHAIR ON CHAIR WITH THE ARM WRAPPED IN IT ALL! Bubba wakes up from the DDT to realize his arm is crushed. He screams in pain as he tries to unwrap it from the chair. As he is doing that, Case runs off of the ropes. BIG ENZUIGIRI KICK TO BUBBA! COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
KICKOUT!
Case picks Bubba up. WRISTLOCK SUPLEX TO THE INJURED ARM! NO! NO! Bubba reverses into a WRISTLOCK OF HIS OWN! And a HUGE short arm clothesline! Case spins around from the impact! He slowly stands and turns around. TRAILER PARK TRASH! HE NAILS IT!
COVER!
1!
2!!
3!!!
DING DING DING
Bubba J rolls off of Justin Case, breathing heavily.
Jenny Jersey: The WINNER of the Number One Contender’s Trophy… BUBBA J!!!
Two very beautiful looking women walk down towards the ring with the Number One Contender’s Trophy and a briefcase. Bubba J gets to his feet, and is handed the trophy, which he raises high in the air.
Larry Gordon: Now Bubba gets his choice of championship to fight for. Should be very interesting!
Linzi Martin: A great match, sucks there has to only be one winner though.
Bubba opens the briefcase and is all smiles as he looks over the neat stacks of hundreds filled into the suitcase.
Larry Gordon: And he’s a much richer man too.
?
*****Escape From New York*****
We fade into the backstage area where Finale sits crossed legged on an anvil case. He is wearing a long brown wig and an eyepatch while sporting a black sleeveless t-shirt, ripped jeans, commando boots and a mock rifle. Beside him is a ratty looking hipster type dressed up as Alex deLarge.
Finale: Mutt, you look fucking retarded. This is why I don’t bring you to shit like this. This is why your name is Mutt.
Mutt frowns. People always look super pathetic when they frown in costume.
Mutt: I thought it was a good idea.
Finale: If you’re 18. If you just got to college and bought your first gram of weed. You need to get a man’s costume.
Mutt: Like yours? What is tough about Captain Ron?
Finale slaps him in the face.
Finale: I’m not Captain Ron you fucking twat. I’m Snake.
Mutt: Oh because we’re in New York!
Finale: Again, you can no longer question why I don’t bring you to these things. Moving on. Did you do
what I asked you to? Out on the streets?
Mutt: Yeah yeah I got rid of all of them. Told them who they were from.
Finale: You made sure they were all Gabe Shelley fans?
Mutt: Oh ya! Lots of little kids too.
Finale cocks an eyebrow.
Finale: Okay you made that sound incredibly creepy but you have the right idea. Excellent, everything is in place.
Mutt: I’ve gotta be honest dude, I gave up on you for a bit there in BWF…
There is dramatic silence. The camera casually tightening in on their faces. Neither blinks.
Finale.Yeah. You and everybody else.
Finale then hops off of the anvil case with a satisfied grunt and stone cold expression. He then walks off but discreetly mugs obnoxiously for the camera before leaving the frame.
Mutt: Oh fuck I get it! Snake says that in-
The fake rifle flies back into frame and nails Mutt in the head, effectively cutting him off. We cut.
*****REBEL Pro Aggression/AoWF Television Championship IRON MAN Match*****
*****Johnny Maverick©(Victory!) versus Jaice Wilds(REBEL!) versus Virgil Keenan©(REBEL!)*****
?
Time- 60:00
J-Mav: 0
Virgil K: 0
Jaice Dubya: 0
Johnny Maverick, Virgil Keenan and Jaice Wilds all rush each other in the center of the ring. Except Maverick expertly stops just short and backs away, as Wilds flies with a spinning heel kick towards Virgil that hits him square in the face. Virgil however catches the next leg from Jaice Wilds, and throws him to the canvas and quickly locks in a half Boston crab. Virgil applies the pressure, but scans the ring for Maverick who quickly got himself behind Virgil Keenan. Maverick climbs to the top turnbuckle, and waits for the right moment. Virgil keeps applying pressure with the half Boston crab but Jaice uses his other leg to wildly contort his body around and kick Virgil in the ribs and back until Virgil lets go of the hold. As Virgil does so, he turns around and is met with a stunning missile dropkick from Johnny Maverick which sends Virgil into the corner turnbuckles. Jaice Wilds however catches Maverick as Maverick basically falls down on top of him. Jaice wraps his legs around Mav’s waist, and then around Maverick’s neck to apply a submission move of his own. Virgil Keenan rushes over and hit’s a leg drop right onto Maverick, while Mav is in the midst of being choked by Jaice Wilds. What it does do though is force Jaice to pull his arms back, freeing up the VW World Champion.
Time: 55:00
Virgil: 0
Johnny: 0
Jaice: 0
Larry Gordon: This is going to be a long, and specatular match folks.
Linzi Martin: Johnny has the potential of walking out of here tonight as a Triple Champion.
?
Jaice Wilds rolls away as Virgil turns his focus to Johnny Maverick. Virgil Keenan flips around Mav as he gets up, and takes him down and locks on an armbar in a familiar Mexican style wink, wink. Virgil pulls and pulls, Maverick slaps his shoulder and arm as he tries to pull himself up and out of it without hurting himself. Jaice Wilds springboards himself off the top rope, Virgil lets go of Mav and rolls out of the way as Jaice lands an asai moonsault. Maverick elbows Jaice as he lands, but the damage is still done to both men. Virgil Keenan runs over, quick and sudden elbow drop onto Jaice Wilds’ chest. Jaice cringes, but spins himself up onto his shoulders, presses his hands to the canvas, jumps up using his hands and wraps his legs around Virgil’s neck and does the weirdest and sickest fucking hurricanrana you’ve ever seen. Even Johnny smirks, and claps.
Time- 50:00
Virgil: 0
Johnny: 0
Jaice: 0
Linzi Martin: That was AMAZING!
Larry Gordon: Jaice lives up to his moniker as the Xtreme Aerialist.
Johnny Maverick doesn’t wait to pounce on Jaice as Jaice gets to his feet though, laying him out with a clothesline that sends Jaice over the top rope and to the outside. Johnny Maverick is up first again but Virgil is too and ready to get back into things. Mav grabs him by his neck and lifts him up, but the Aggression champ quickly pushes Maverick into the corner post banging Johnny’s head off of it. Keenan throws a stiff left and then tangles up with Johnny. Jaice Wilds on the outside gets to his feet and begins plotting his next move as Virgil hip tosses to the corner. Jaice strains as he lifts up the top half off the steel steps and slides it into the ring behind Virgil and Johnny. Johnny Maverick sees Jaice coming with the steel steps and flips himself from the corner turnbuckle, up and over, double kicking Virgil in the face as he does so. Johnny hops out onto the outside, Virgil is stunned for a moment as he stumbles back. BANG! Jaice Wilds cracks the steel steps over the back of Virgil’s head. Virgil hit’s the canvas and Jaice lifts the steel steps up one more time. Johnny goes under the ring to look for weaponry. Jaice drops the steel steps RIGHT onto Virgil‘s face. Virgil throws his arms up at the last second, but it‘s too late and his face just got made to look like a hotdog that was microwaved for way too long. Jaice covers, pushing down on Virgil with the steel steps as well for added weight.
1!
Johnny comes back from under the ring, a thick steel chain in hand.
2!!
Virgil seems ready to kick out, but Jaice now throws his feet up against the middle ropes and uses them as further leverage.
3!!!
DING DING DING
Time: 45:25
Jaice: 1
Virgil: 0
Johnny: 0
Linzi Martin: Wilds scores the first pinfall of the iron man match!
Larry Gordon: if nothing else happens in this match Jaice will be pretty happy.
Maverick hops onto the ring apron and from there he whips the steel chain out towards Jaice, lassoing Wilds and pulling him down to the canvas with it. Virgil rolls away, holding his head. Virgil’s mask is ripped only a bit, but his blood does more than enough to keep his face covered. Johnny launches himself into the ring with a moonsault, lands on Jaice, and then keeps rolling with it and rolls away from Jaice. He snaps Jaice up and forward with the chain, which now has a lethal grip around Jaice Wilds’ neck. Virgil Keenan rolls right out of the ring, cussing out the referee as he searches for weapons of his own now.
Linzi Martin: Shit’s about to get REBEL Pro in this mothafucka.
Larry Gordon: Oh my.
Johnny Maverick seems like he’s toying with Jaice as every time Jaice gets to his feet, Mav yanks the chain and pulls him to the canvas. Jaice grabs onto the chain as Mav pulls it closer and closer towards himself, wrapping it around his fists and arms. Jaice Wilds is on his feet near Maverick, his hands wrapped around the chain that is a vice grip over his neck. Maverick swings with both fists, Jaice does a flip and jumps out of the way.
Larry Gordon: Oh boy, there’s Virgil.
Time: 39:99
Virgil: 0
Johnny: 0
Jaice: 1
Linzi Martin: And he’s got a bag of goodies!
Virgil lays out an entire bag of thumbtacks all around one side of the ring and hops up onto the apron. Mav with another takedown attempt on Jaice, but Jaice again uses his feline agility to literally flip himself over Johnny Maverick in stunning fashion, wrapping the last part of the chain around Johnny’s neck now. Jaice begins to get himself free of the chain around his neck but Johnny Maverick gets back to his feet and snaps him back to the canvas. Virgil from the apron however grabs onto Maverick from behind… Full Nelson Suplex from the apron to the outside of the ring! Maverick and Virgil both land hard on the thumbtacks, but Johnny gets the worst of it. Jaice gets snapped back and forth again like a rag doll in the midst of this and hit’s the canvas, choked out and coughing, desperate for air. Virgil slides back into the ring and hoists Jaice up with the chain, whipping it around and smashing it over his head before grabbing Jaice as he falls… hammerlock DDT right onto the steel steps!!! Virgil covers!
1!
Johnny gets to his feet.
2!!
This time, Virgil throws his feet against the ropes to use them as extra leverage!
3!!!
Johnny swats Virgil’s feet away, but it’s too late.
DING DING DING
Time- 34:56
Jaice: 1
Virgil: 1
Johnny: 0
Larry Gordon: Looks like the REBEL Pro guys tied it up amongst themselves.
Johnny gets into the ring and as Virgil gets up, ANOTHER BODY MURDERED ONTO THE STEEL STEPS! The crowd goes NUTS!
1!
Linzi Martin: Spoke too soon?!
2!!
Johnny smirks as he puts his feet on the ropes, using them as added leverage.
3!!!
DING DING DING
Time- 34:22
Johnny: 1
Virgil: 1
Jaice: 1
Larry Gordon: Now everyone’s got one.
Johnny Maverick sits up, then hooks both the legs on Virgil Keenan once again.
1!
Linzi Martin: Johnny going for another one!!!
2!!
Jaice Wilds lifts the chain up and whips Johnny across the back with it, breaking the pin. Jaice however isn’t done treating Johnny like a Christian in ancient Rome, as he continues to whip him across the back with the steel chain as Maverick tries to get away. Virgil Keenan takes the moment to get himself around to Jaice and he grabs Jaice from behind, rolling him up in a schoolboy!
1!
2!!
Virgil pulls on the tights!
THR- NO! Maverick with the save!
Maverick dropkicks Virgil into the corner. Maverick picks up those steel steps and rams Virgil Keenan in the corner, crushing him between them. Maverick climbs up onto the middle rope, punching Virgil in the face. Jaice Wilds is out of the ring now, and he’s grabbing some tables leftover from the Finale and Gabe Shelley match.
Time: 25:00
All Tied at 1
Linzi Martin: Jaice is up to some shenanigans outside.
Larry Gordon: Yeah but I think Johnny should probably pay more attention to what’s happening where he is…
Virgil Keenan grabs onto Johnny’s waist and lifts him up in the midst of the beat down, and takes Johnny out with a sit out power bomb! Johnny’s head however clips the edge of the steel steps on the way down, and his head snaps against his own chest and stays pushed against it as Virgil holds for the pin.
1!
2!!
3!!!
DING DING DING
Jaice looks up, flabbergasted and fucking pissed off as he hops up onto the apron.
Time- 23:06
Virgil: 2
Johnny: 1
Jaice: 1
Linzi Martin: That awkward landing looks like it hurt Maverick a lot more than that move normally would have.
Larry Gordon: That goes without saying. Johnny is known for concussions, hopefully he hasn’t sustained another one here as a result of that sit out power bomb.
Jaice Wilds on the apron, jumps up onto the top rope and runs alongside it as Virgil is to his feet. Jaice with a springboard super kick sends Virgil to the canvas! He covers!
1!
2!!
TH-KICK OUT!
Virgil Keenan head butts Jaice Wilds and then grabs him around the waist, lifting both Jaice and himself up! Virgil has Jaice Wilds in a bear hug of all things, and Virgil Keenan clearly finds this incredibly amusing because Jaice is a tiny Brazilian man with no where to go now. Johnny is barely moving, but he does nod to the referee that he isn’t totally KO’d. Jaice Wilds begins wailing with punches on Virgils bloodied face, and it begins to work as finally Virgil Keenan lets go. Virgil stumbles into the ropes, and Jaice Wilds rushes him. Virgil drops, pulling the top rope down with him and this sends Jaice over but only to the apron. Virgil grapples Jaice on the apron and tries to suplex him back into the ring, but there’s Johnny! Johnny low blows Virgil Keenan, and it weakens him enough to let Jaice attempt a suplex of his own. Virgil gets lifted up off the ground but he wiggles his feet around and grounds himself once more. The second time Jaice goes for it however, Johnny Maverick grabs Virgil by the feet mid-air and launches him forward, sending both Jaice Wilds and Virgil Keenan to the outside and right through two tables Jaice Wilds had set up! Everyone is in a bloody heap, but Maverick isn’t finished as he lifts up the steel steps and puts them onto the top rope. Maverick climbs the top turnbuckle, holding onto the steel steps.
Time- 17:31
Larry Gordon: Wow only 17 minutes left? Feels like this match hasn’t really been going on for almost an hour. I guess that’s just how entertaining it’s been.
Linzi Martin: I figure with Anna in the building, time and space itself has been warped.
Johnny stands on the top turnbuckle, already still wobbly from the after effects of that power bomb. He hoists it up and then chucks it down towards Virgil and Jaice. Jaice manages to get out of the way but Virgil, sadly, does not. It pancakes him as Johnny follows it up with a shooting star press that dazzles the crowd and punctuates terrible pain for Virgil. Johnny hurts himself terribly though on the strike and Jaice capitalizes, lifting Johnny up and throwing him into the ring. Jaice is quick to move, climbing up to the top rope and… AERIAL ACE!!!!
1!
2!!
3!!!
DING DING DING!!!
Larry Gordon: Whoa!
Time- 15:00
Jaice: 2
Virgil: 2
Johnny: 1
Linzi Martin: And the REBELs tie up again. This could be bad for Johnny.
Jaice Wilds covers Johnny again.
1!
2!!
TH-KICK OUT!
Maverick knees Jaice in the gut and throws him off of himself. Maverick gets to his feet, almost to the effect of a second wind pushing him forward. Jaice Wilds scrambles, BANG! ROUNDHOUSE KICK! Jaice hit’s the canvas, Johnny’s quick to go for the high risk… EPIC FAIL ON JAICE WILDS!!!
HE COVERS!
1!
2!!
3!!!
DING DING DING
Time- 13:12
All Tied At 2
And now… Nothing. Everyone is down and out, seemingly catching their breath. The match has shown it’s toll on all three men. Johnny rolls out of the ring, and hit’s the ground hard. Virgil is only just now showing signs that he totally isn’t dead and Jaice Wilds looks around at the arena ceiling, dazed and confused. Johnny pulls himself in underneath the ring as Virgil Keenan climbs up onto the ring apron, and then pulls himself into the ring. He throws himself on the downed Jaice.
1!
2!!
THR-KICK OUT!
Virgil rolls off of Jaice, looking up at the clock and the score. He pulls himself up and makes an inaudible quip at the referee, which gives Jaice enough time to pull a schoolboy roll up on Virgil!
1!
2!!
3!!!
NO! NO!!! VIRGIL KEENAN KICKS OUT! BAH GAWD!!!
Larry Gordon: This is getting down to the wire now, folks.
Linzi Martin: And here’s JOHNNY!
Johnny emerges from underneath the ring, both his legs wrapped in barbed wire as he slides in. Jaice and Virgil both team up and try to take him out. THE TONY JAA ON JAICE WILDS!!! Jaice is all bloody as fuck too cause of it as he spins around and hit’s the canvas. Virgil Keenan goes for a collar elbow tie up to slow Johnny down before he can gain any further momentum, Johnny strikes him in the ribs and chest with successive knees and Virgil steps back, in pain. Johnny Maverick climbs up to the top rope but Virgil rushes towards him, BURNING HAMMER!!! BURNING HAMMER ON JOHNNY MAVERICK!!! VIRGIL HAS IT! BUT Virgil is too weakened to go for the pin immediately! Jaice is down! Virgil is down! Johnny is down!
Time- 6:42
All Tied Up At 2
Larry Gordon: These men have given it their all, what more can you expect from such a high stakes match?
Linzi Martin: YEAH! REBEL Pro! FUCK YEAH!
The clock is ticking… Finally, Virgil throws himself over Johnny.
1!
2!!
3!!!
NO! JAICE BREAKS IT UP AT THE LAST SECOND! Jaice Wilds pulls himself to his feet and climbs up top one more time… AERIAL ACE ON JOHNNY MAVERICK!!! One problem! Johnny rolls out of the way, and puts his legs up. Jaice’s chest gets torn by barbs and he rolls out of the ring, bleeding, and in much pain.
Time- 1:00
All Tied At 2
Virgil Keenan is up first now, and he lifts Maverick up by his neck. Virgil goes to put Johnny away with a double armed DDT, again focusing on the head and neck. But Johnny flips himself forward, double kicking Virgil in the face and has the fans going nuts at his own agility. Virgil stumbles forward… ANOTHER BODY MURDERED!!! Johnny falls to his knees, breathing heavily. He covers.
1!
2!!
3!!!
DING DING DING
Time: :25
Johnny: 3
Virgil: 2
Jaice: 2
The clock begins winding down, as Johnny rolls out of the ring and falls to the outside.
10!
9!
8!
7!
6!
5!
4!
3!
2!
1!!!!!!!!
DING DING DING
Jenny Jersey: The winner and STILL AoWF Television Champion, and NEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW REBEL PRO AGGRESSION CHAMPION… JOHNNY MAVERICK!!!
The REBEL Pro fans are going nuts, cheering wildly. Which would seem ridiculous since a Victory guy just won a REBEL belt, but Johnny is a REBEL Pro alumni and there is much love for this REBEL Icon here tonight. The fans at ringside all hug and slap Johnny on the back as he leans against the barricade, holding up the AoWF Television title.
Larry Gordon: What a hard fought match.
Linzi Martin: Yeah. It’d be nice to actually give Johnny the Aggression title but you know… PWA assholes stole it.
*****A Call To Arms*****
He’s pissed.
Shawn West: I, uh…
West, usually calm, cool and collected is a bit rattled as he sits across from Simon Kalis.
Shawn West: I didn’t know you’d be here tonight.
Kalis takes a drag off his cigarette and nods sombrely.
Simon Kalis: Well. I am. I am when you have PWA scum stealing our belts. Attacking our people. I’m here. Watching. Listening. Jerking off to Anna Mathews promo videos.
Kalis leans in, he seems pretty serious.
Simon Kalis: I’m fucking here.
West pours himself a glass of Jack Daniels and nods.
Shawn West: To be fair, you started it.
Simon Kalis: Phoenix did, actually. But we’ll pretend like you didn’t just say that.
Shawn West: So… What’re we gonna do?
Simon Kalis: You’ll stay here. Drinking your liver away. As for the rest of us?
Kalis pauses for a moment, if only for dramatic flare.
Simon Kalis: We’ll show them what REBELs do when people steal from us.
Kalis raises his own glass of whiskey up, in toast. But not at West… But to the camera.
Simon Kalis: Cheers, motherfuckers.
As we fade, Gold sits up and wipes his nose clean.
Jeremy Gold: Oh god here come the guns.
*****REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship Match*****
*****Mikey Massacre versus Lisa Seldon©*****
Lisa opens up her offense by crossing the ring and blasting Massacre between the eyes with a Yakuza Kick to send him back to the corner. Mikey gets his hands up but Lisa goes to the body with a series of lefts and rights before dropping low and taking him down with a Leg Sweep. Lisa then hops back up, steps forward and shatters his face with a knee, rattling it back against the middle turnbuckle.
Lisa pulls Mikey up and into a clinch, where she sticks a few knees in his gut. She then pushes him away and steps forward with a Push Kick, but Mikey catches her leg, reels her in and then flattens her with a Clothesline. Lisa lands hard with the wind knicked out of her, allowing Massacre to pull her up by an arm and drag her right into a Belly to Belly Suplex that sends her across the ring and leaves her balled up in the corner.
Mikey gives Lisa a chance to right herself before charging across the ring, only to run straight into her heel as she gets a foot up in the way. Never one to give up, Mikey charges her again only for Lisa to roll out of the way. She then springs up to her feet just as Mikey turns, and leaps straight up into an Overhead Kick which cracks across the back of his head. Mikey slumps in the corner and Lisa pulls herself up, only for Mikey to catch her from behind and drop her with a Bulldog. Lisa then rolls to the apron but Mikey keeps going, jumping back to his feet and landing another one on nobody for good measure, and then a third to seal the deal. A particularly vocal sect of the roster hoot and hollar for his antics.
Mikey lunges at the ropes but Lisa gets up and drives a shoulder into his midsection. Mikey staggers back and Lisa gives him a push before running to the corner and up the fastenings. She then throws herself backwards toward the ring, catches Mikey about the head and impales to the mat with a Spike DDT. Mikey flops over to his back and Lisa drops into a cover.
1
2
Larry Gordon: No, Mikey throws up an arm.
Linzi Martin: It’s still way too early to put that idiot away.
Lisa gets Mikey up and pushes him into the ropes before blasting him with a hard kick through the ribs. Lisa then crosses the ring and shoots herself back, only for Mikey to step forward and flatten her out with a Drop Toe-Hold. Mikey then spins around it as Lisa jumps up, allowing him to catch her in a Front Facelock and quickly drag her up into a Suplex. Lisa fights back however and sticks a knee into the top of his head, allowing her to loosen his grip and drop back to the mat. Lisa then steps forward for a high Roundhouse Kick, but Mikey sees it coming and steps forward, catching her leg over his shoulder and wrapping the rest of her up. Lisa looks for an out but Mikey tightens his grip and drops back, sending her across the ring on the end of a Capture Suplex and tumbling out to the floor.
Lisa gets up but Mikey is waiting for her, and crosses the ring before throwing himself between the ropes like a Bullet, catching her in the gut with a Tope and sending them both spilling back up the entrance way before they collapse to a heap on the floor.
Mikey is first up and throws a hand in the air, which is met with boos, save for the Rebel Pro faithful who do their best to sound the rest of the crowd out. Mikey then gets Lisa to her feet, drags her straight up and then splatters her across the floor with a Vertical Suplex.
Mikey gets Lisa back up and dumps her in the ring before sliding in himself and laying on a cover.
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Linzi Martin: And this time Lisa shoots out of the move.
Mikey steps back and let’s Lisa get to her feet, though occasionally giving her a few taunting kicks as she pulls herself up. Mikey then turns her to face him and pushes her against the ropes, allowing her to bounce back a step and walk right into a Forearm that rattles her jaw. Lisa drops to a knee and Mikey pulls her up for a second, backing up this time before lunging into the move, only to step right into a Palm Strike that sends the spit flying across the ring. Mikey turns the other way and Lisa kicks out his legs, putting him to his knees and allowing Lisa to get a foot on the back of his head, and ride it to the ground as she crushes it against the mat.
Mikey rolls as Lisa crosses the ring, kicks off the second rope and catapults herself back into a no hands Asai Moonsault, knocking the wind out of both of them and leaving Massacre flat on his back as she hoosks a leg.
Larry Gordon: Echo Effect! And she covers.
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Linzi Martin: But once again Mikey gets his shoulders off the mat.
Lisa gets Mikey up again and blasts him with a series of strikes, ending when she turns and catches him in the gut with a Solbut to double him over. Lisa then leaps onto his back and ties up an arm between her legs while grabbing hold of the other. Mikey stands on instinct and Lisa snaps to the side with him, planting him into the canvas with a Crucifix Driver.
Larry Gordon: Mikey hits hard and Lisa holds on.
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Linzi Martin: Mikey is out at two!
Larry Gordon: He’s still got her on his shoulders.
Mikey rolls through onto his knees and then stands straight up, taking Lisa with him and into a Standing Fireman’s Carry. Lisa tries to elbow her way out but Mikey stops this by heading for the nearest corner and smashing her into the turnbuckle. Mikey then steps back and pushes Lisa up, but Lisa adjusts in midair and lands on his shoulders. Lisa then holds on and drops an elbow on the top of his head before snapping back and sending Massacre into the corner with a Hurricanrana, then leaves him head over heels and strung up on the ropes.
Lisa sees Massacre hung up and rolls into the opposite corner and to her feet. She then crosses the ring, leaps into the air and smashes him with a Dropkick between the eyes, while crushing his head against the ropes. Lisa then pulls him out and jumps on the cover.
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Linzi Martin:And Mikey is out again!
Lisa leaves Mikey on the mat and quickly hops up to the top-rope, she pushes herself into the air and throws her knees up high.
Larry Gordon: The Horror Pop!
Lisa lands and rolls through as Mikey ducks out of the way and gets to his feet. Lisa then comes up and turns but Mikey steps under her and puts her to the mat with a Back-Bodydrop. Lisa lands hard and rolls through again, only to walk into a Hiptoss and then a second which flattens her out and allows Mikey to finish with an Elbow Drop, stuck deep in her chest. Mikey then drops into a pin.
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Linzi Martin: And this time it’s Lisa pushing her way free.
Lisa fights up to her feet and sticks a few shots in his gut to send Massacre away, only for him to grab her by the hair, throw her back and smash her head off the canvas. Mikey punches himself in the head a few times as he talks around Lisa, waiting for her to get up before pulling her into an Arm-Wringer. Mikey measures it and sizes up a punch, but waits too long, allowing Lisa to whip up a leg and catch him between the eyes. Mikey goes back and Lisa swarms, rushing with a flying knee before drilling him with punches that send him to her left and right into another brutal High Kick that cracks him between the eyes. Lisa has him on the run but charges, only to walk straight into a Haymaker right hand that sends her reeling.
Mikey turns Lisa around and drags her into a Standing Kataha-Jime before leaning back and tossing her across the ring with the Suplex.
Larry Gordon: Mannyplex.
The fans rise though as Lisa lands on her feet while Mikey falls to his back. Massacre then sits up as Lisa steps forward.
Linzi Martin: The Killer!
Lisa throws out a leg but Mikey hears it coming and catches it before spinning her around in front of him and sending her across the ring. Mikey then jumps up as Lisa comes to face him and shoots with a Dropkick, but catches nothing but the air as Lisa ducks under. Lisa then jumps straight up and points her heels at his face, only for Mikey to roll out of the way. Massacre then throws himself to his feet and into the air with another Dropkick, only for Lisa to push his feet aside and send him to the mat again. Mikey lands on all fours and Lisa snaps forward for a Punt Kick, but Mikey lifts his head out of the way and catches her with a School Boy Roll-Up.
Larry Gordon: Cover? No, she rolls through.
Mikey pushes Lisa to get to her feet as he jumps up, takes to the air and finally connects with a Dropkick that sends her to the ropes. Lisa then bounces back and walks right into a second, before Mikey jumps up, throws himself at the air and lands a Dropkick on no one at all. This time he lands on his knees and beats his chest like a Gorilla before slamming his head into the canvas, much to the excitement of the fans.
Linzi Martin: Mikey is all fired up!
Mikey grabs Lisa by the hair and thrusts her into the corner, where he grinds her down with a series of brutal shots before forcing her up onto the ropes. Mikey then steps after her and into a Front Facelock while forcing Lisa to her feet on the top-rope. Lisa throws a few punches at his ribs but Mikey shrugs them off, steps to the top and throws both of them at the ring, where they shatter on the end of a huge Superplex.
Larry Gordon: Everplex! And he crushes both of them with the move!
The ref moves to count but Mikey fights his way up, throwing himself at the ropes and then dragging to his feet. A call of his name rings loud through the arena, and pushes him to fight on as he collapses into the turnbuckle.
Linzi Martin: He’s not covering.
Larry Gordon: He’s going for the big finish.
Mikey clambers the ropes and then turns, perching himself on the top and taking just a second to steady his balance. He then stands straight up, coils and then fires himself into the air, gaining tremendous height as he pushes up and then fires toward the ring.
Linzi Martin: The Sellout!
Mikey spreads his body and drops like a brick, only to land across the knees of Lisa Seldon, who gets them up and sends himself stumbling around the ring.
Mikey comes back to Lisa and swings, but she swings herself under and brings a leg after her, catching across the side of the head and sending him back, and right into range as Lisa spins, throws out her leg digs it straight in under his jaw with a Superkick, just lifting him off the mat before he drops to a knee. Finally, Lisa steps forward, kicks off his leg and throws out a Shining Yakuza Kick, crushing his face against her heel before letting him slump in a heap. Lisa meanwhile lands on her feet and then drops down to her knees on top of him for a cover.
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Larry Gordon: What!?
Linzi Martin: No! He fights through the pain!
Mikey claws his way up, much to Lisa’s chagrin, and walks right into another swooping kick that comes up over and rattles the back of his head as he settles on all fours. Lisa then pulls him up into the Clinch and rips a knee through his jaw, and then fires off a second, only for Mikey to catch her leg. Mikey then stands up, leans forward and smashes her off the floor with a Sidewalk Slam. Lisa rolls through though, pushes to her feet, runs forward and rips through his face again with a Yakuza Kick, sending him back to the ropes. Mikey bounces back and Lisa stumbles forward with another, only for Mikey to get his hands up and spin her away. Mikey then catches her around the waist and easily drags her into the air.
Larry Gordon: Murder Backdrop!
But Lisa drops out behind, landing on all fours and quickly jumping back to her feet. Mikey tries to turn but Lisa moves to face, leaping up, twisting her body and shattering her heel across the back of his head to send him to the mat.
Linzi Martin: The Death! And it connects!
Mikey drops dead on all fours and Lisa lands in a heap, but quickly rights herself by grabbing hold of the ropes and pulling herself up. Lisa then snaps forward, tearing through his face with a Punt Kick that forces his head straight, blood dripping from a wound on his head from the series of shots.
Lisa then turns to face him, snaps out a leg and buries a Roundhouse Kick in the side of his head, cracking it wide open and dropping him to the floor. Lisa then falls onto the cover.
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3!!!
DING DING DING
?
Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match and STILL REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Champion…. LISA SELDON!!!!!
The crowd here in Madison Square Garden gives Lisa a standing ovation, as the referee raises her hand with the championship. Mikey Massacre holds his head, in pain and perhaps disbelief as well as Lisa drops to the canvas and rolls out of the ring, gingerly making her way back up the ramp.
Larry Gordon: Lisa does it once more, and the Seldontastic Era of REBEL Pro continues!
Linzi Martin: We’re out of time folks, see you next week for Aggression!
The camera shows one last shot of the Champion of Everything, as she exits stage left and we fade…
*****QUICK RESULTS*****
Bobby Lee defeats Jeremy Gold, thus Gold becomes the sole Fecal Beagle Champion.
Taboo and Hostile get arrested, the match never happens cause they just beat the shit out of each other.
Vincent Black defeats Anna Mathews in a wild one.
Finale defeats Gabe Shelley, in the ultimate tables match.
Bubba J defeats Justin Case, to win $100,000 cash and the Number One Contender’s Trophy
Johnny Maverick defeats Virgil Keenan & Jaice Wilds to retain the AoWF TV title, and win the Aggression title.
Lisa Seldon defeats Mikey Massacre, and there is seemingly no end to Lisa’s REBEL Pro.