12/11/2007
The Ogden Legion is packed full of over 700+ wrestling fans on a cold winter’s night here in Calgary! Before the show begins, wrestlers like Mystic Exposition
and El Rey de Corizones pose for pictures and sign autographs in the ring. There is a table set up for World Champion THE BEAST. Tommy Deathrow is hassling
the concession for some frosty cold ones. The fans are ready to see all these REBEL wrestlers as well as the NAPW wrestlers they’ve come to know and love
(or love to see get beaten up.)
Finally Frank Warburton gets in the ring…
FRANK WARBURTON: Calgary Alberta… are you ready for some WRESTLING?
That’s a big “HELL YES,” Frankie!
BILL HEWSON: This crowd is sure ready, Frank! I’m Bill Hewson alongside my partner for this night, a man I never thought I’d see in NAPW again much less
be my broadcast partner… Rex Caliber!
REX CALIBER: That’s “Former World Champion, Former Owner, Former Tag Champion, the Rexellence of Rexecution” Rex Caliber to YOU, Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: In any event, we have a very special inter-promotional show for you tonight. It is ULTIMATE ATTRITION! The rules are simple. Two teams, four
men each. It’s elimination rules! One team wins when they eliminate all four of their opponents!
REX CALIBER: It’s a crazy damn match, you don’t know what the odds could be. Could go 4-2, 2-1, 3-2, even 4-1! The odds always gonna be changing, and that
means the matches are goin’ to rock, and that’s just how Sexy Rexy likes it.
BILL HEWSON: So without further ado, let’s get to the action!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ladies and gentlemen, the following is an Ultimate Attrition Match!
“My Old Kentucky Home” starts up, and the fans do not give these guys a good reception.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first, making their way to the ring area, accompanied by Mandy and Axl Dennis: the captain, “The Show” Chad Kurtis, “The American
Nightmare” Matt Kurtis, “The Bluegrass Heart-Throb” Jonathan Kurtis, and “High Octane” Will Zaluki. Together they are The Bluegrass Mafia!
The four men make their way into the ring, and do not look all that bothered bu the hostility sent their way. The Beverly Hillbillies theme takes over the
speakers, getting a laugh from the NAPW crowd, who are a bit unfamiliar with the next competitor.
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents! Introducing first, from Turkey Cross, Kentucky, CUZIN ZEKE!
A nice response from the mainly NAPW fans. “Devil in The Kitchen” starts up, and the crowd pops a bit for two guys making their return to Alberta…
FRANK WARBURTON: His partners: “The Irish Adonis” Bobby O’Brady! “The Scottish Wrecking Machine” Al Thoes! They are THE CELTIC ASSASSINS!
Al and Bobby look happy to be back, glad handing the fans at ringside. And there’s only one member left for their team. “Follow” gets the biggest pop so
far…
FRANK WARBURTON: And finally, the Team Captain! From Parts Unknown, British Columbia: “The Falcon” Jacob Venar! They are “The Dark Horses”!!
BILL HEWSON: The first of our Ultimate Attrition Matches, and what a way to start!
REX CALIBER: We have a lot of former champions in that ring, Hewson. Some should still have title gold. Some never deserved them in the first place. I’ll
let you figure out who’s who.
After a brief huddle, The Dark Horses decide to send Bobby O’Brady to start things off. The BGM counter with Will Zaluki. Zaluki goes to tie up, but O’Brady
wants something different….
BILL HEWSON: We haven’t seen this in a long while! O’Brady is calling for a Headlock Challenge™!
REX CALIBER: How did you say the “™”?
BILL HEWSON: … I don’t know….
Zaluki rolls his eyes, but accepts the challenge. O’Brady locks his arm around Zaluki’s head… and the Headlock Challengeª begins! O’Brady cinches the
hold in tight, and Zaluki tries to push out of it, to no avail. He tries to lift the big man up for a back suplex, but O’Brady plants his feet and does
not budge. Zaluki valiantly trying to worm out of it, but O’Brady is focused on keeping the hold locked in!
Until Matt Kurtis breaks it up with a forearm to the back of O’Brady’s head. Boos from the fans for this.
BILL HEWSON: These fans wanted a clear winner, and now they’ll never know…
REX CALIBER: These fans want to see someone get their ass kicked. And Matt Kurtis is more than willing to give them what they want!
Matt goes back to his corner. O’Brady and Zaluki both take the opportunity to tag out. Cuzin Zeke and Jonathan Kurtis are in. They lock up. Kurtis gets
an armbar, but Zeke powers out of it, and lands a stiff right to the young Kurtis’ jaw. Before he has a moment to react, Zeke whips him into the ropes,
and catches him with a huge clothesline! Kurtis hits the mat hard, and Zeke drops an elbow… but misses! Jonathan rolls out of the way, and is quick to
hit a standing moonsault! A cover! One… only one, as Zeke kicks out with authority. Jonathan tags in his brother Chad, who spring boards into the ring,
nailing a rising Zeke with a dropkick! Zeke is knocked back, but lands in his own corner, and Al Thoes tags in! Chad attacks right away, trying to keep
the big man off balance. Thoes tries to shove Chad to the mat, but is caught with an arm drag! Thoes hits the mat, and Chad lands an elbow to the chest.
He goes to the second rope and comes off with a well placed fist to the forehead. He covers, but only gets a two count from referee John Sharplin. Thoes
is slow to get up, giving Chad an opening for a dropkick to the face! Thoes clutches at his nose as Chad covers again! One.. two… Thoes kicks out! Chad
grabs Thoes leg to keep him from crawling to his corner, then tags in his brother Matt. The Angry American is in, and he drops a big leg across the neck
of Thoes! He doesn’t bother with a cover, instead hauling the big man up, and preparing for a Bluegrass Bomb! But he doesn’t get much of a chance, as O’Brady
is in to break things up. Matt tries to pie face O’Brady, who responds with a shove. Thoes uses the distraction to tag in Venar! Venar runs in and rushes
at the huge Angry American, catching him by surprise with a dropkick! Matt staggers back as O’Brady returns to his corner. Venar tries desperately to take
the big man down, hitting him with a series of dropkicks. Matt is backed into the turnbuckles, and Venar charges…
And nearly gets his head taken off with a big boot.
REX CALIBER: And that’s why they’re Dark Horses. Not a lack of talent, but a lack of brains!
Matt looks annoyed now, and he hauls Venar up for a side slam! Venar planted into the mat, and Kurtis covers! One.. two… Venar kicks out! Matt lays in
with a series of fists to the prone Falcon’s head, then drags him to his feet and whips into the BGM corner. Jonathan wraps his arm around Venar’s neck
as Chad and Zaluki lay in with punches. The Celts and Zeke try to help, but are headed off by the referee. Matt charges in and crushes Venar with a clothesline!
He tags in Zaluki, who hits Venar with a Side Russian Leg Sweep. Venar is in trouble, and Zaluki capitalizes with a cover! One.. two… Venar gets the
shoulder up! Zaluki tries to end things with a Sharpshooter, but Venar gets his boot under “High Octane’s” chin and pushes him off. Venar tries to crawl
to his corner, but Zaluki catches him by the foot, and pulls him back… Venar kicks Zaluki in the chest, and rolls towards his corner, and tags in Cuzin
Zeke! Zeke races in and nails Zaluki with a running forearm! Zaluki goes down, and Zeke drops an elbow! Zaluki gets the wind knocked out of him, but is
still able to get a shoulder up to avoid a pinfall! Zeke stomps on Zaluki, who manages to crawl to the ropes. As Sharplin tries to get Zeke to back off,
Zaluki gets a shot in. As Zeke is momentarily stunned, Zaluki hits a “Picture Perfect” dropkick! Zeke goes down, and Zaluki covers! One… two… Zeke
kicks out! Zaluki tries to hook a fisherman’s suplex, but Zeke rolls him up for a small package! One.. two.. THREE! And just like that Zaluki is gone!
FRANK WARBURTON: “HIGH OCTANE” WIll ZALUKI has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: And it’s now four on three in favor of the Dark Horses!
REX CALIBER: Zaluki was probably surprised to be hit with a wrestling move from Zeke! I mean, who would have guessed?
Zaluki is stunned, to say the least. Axl Dennis is beside himself, but they have no choice but to leave ringside. Jonathan Kurtis is in, and he pounces
on Zeke, trying to keep him off guard. He hits a DDT, and goes to the top rope! He comes off with a moonsault! He gets most of it, but not the full impact
he wanted. He covers! One.. two.. Zeke gets a shoulder up! Jonathan whips Zeke into the ropes, and hits him on the way back with a flying forearm! Zeke
goes down, and Kurtis covers, but Sharplin does not make the count…
BILL HEWSON: Kurtis didn’t see the blind tag!
Al Thoes sneaks into the ring, after slapping the back of Zeke when he hit the ropes! Kurtis is arguing with Sharplin, demanding a pin count. Sharplin,
as well as Matt and Chad, are trying to point out Thoes behind him… Too late…
BILL HEWSON: POWER CHINLOCK!
The fans give their approval, as Thoes locks in what might be his deadliest submission hold. Jonathan grabs the bottom rope, forcing the break. Thoes tries
to lock the hold on again, but Kurtis gets a European Uppercut! He hits the ropes and runs back right into a
BILL HEWSON: POWER CLOTHESLINE!
Kurtis is flattened! Thoes seizes the opportunity, and sets Kurtis up for the Haggis Buster… O’Brady is on the top rope! he comes off with the double
stomp for added measure!
CELTIC CRUSHER!
Jonathan is folded up like a lawn chair, and Thoes makes the cover! ONE! TWO! THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: “THE BLUEGRASS HEART-THROB” JONATHAN KURTIS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
There’s no celebration though, as The American Nightmare is in, and he’s had enough of all of this. Thoes is barely to his feet when Matt Kurtis hits him
with a Clothesline from Hell! Thoes hits the mat, and Chad Kurtis is quick to land an elbow to the Scotsman’s chest! Matt hauls Thoes up and hits a back
breaker, as Chad adds a leg drop for good measure! Sharplin ushers Chad out of the ring as Matt goes for a cover! Sharplin races over for the count! One…
two… Thoes barely gets a shoulder up!
REX CALIBER: If the ref had been doing his job right, that would have been a three count!
Matt stares daggers at Sharplin, then hauls Thoes up and into a bear hug! Matt squeezes the life out of Thoes, who tries to power out of it! But Matt is
not about to let go. O’Brady and Venar shout encouragement, as Zeke tries to get the fans to rally behind the Scottish Wrecking Machine! Thoes seems to
be getting some lift out of the fan support, as he looks ready to break out of it… Matt lifts Thoes up, Chad with a clothesline! Matt uses the momentum
to drive Thoes into the mat with a Spinebuster! he covers! One… two… O’Brady breaks up the pin! Sharplin admonishes O’Brady for entering illegally,
which allows the BGM to double team yet again! Double Powerbomb on Thoes! Matt covers! Sharplin is still arguing with O’Brady! Chad shouts at Sharplin,
who finally notices the pin situation! He dives in for the count! One… two… THOES WITH HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE! Chad and Matt are furious, thinking they
had the match won. They argue as Thoes begins a slow crawl to his corner. Matt notices this, and grabs Thoes’ boot. He tags in Chad, who hits a springboard
elbow drop! Thoes writhes in pain as Chad covers! One… two… Zeke is in to break up this count! he exits quickly, but not before he gets an earful from
Sharplin. Matt enters the ring and races over to the Dark Horse corner, hitting all three men with forearms. O’Brady, Venar and Zeke all try to rush Matt,
but Sharplin gets in their way. Chad whips Thoes into the ropes! Thoes bounces back into a big boot from Matt! Thoes is down! Chad races to the turnbuckles
so he can hit the
Best
Moonsault
Ever!
A cover! Sharplin is right there to count!
ONE!!
TWO!!
VENAR WITH THE SAVE!
REX CALIBER: COME ON!
The Falcon smirks, saying it was “his turn”. He’s not smirking when Matt Kurtis knocks him out of the ring with a HUGE clothesline! Venar lands hard on
the floor and rolls into the guard rail. Sharplin tries to usher Matt out of the ring, Chad tries to keep Thoes grounded. Thoes needs a tag desperately.
O’Brady and Zeke have their arms outstretched, but they are JUST out of reach. Chad locks on a camel clutch, trying to wear the big man down. But Thoes
is just too thick for the smaller Show to get a good grip. Thoes pulls himself towards his corner. The fans are cheering him on… His fingertips are mere
inches from Zeke’s… He’s almost there… Zeke is itching to make the save…
Then Kurtis lets go of the hold and double stomps Thoes’ back. He smirks at the Dark Horses, and drags Thoes back to his corner… Thoes somehow kicks free!
Chad stumbles back, and Thoes desperately lunges forward!
TAG TO O’BRADY!!
The Irish Adonis hits the ring and nearly takes “The Show” out of his boots with a clothesline! Kurtis hits the mat, and O’Brady hooks a front headlock
and lays in with a series of knees to the head! Chad is in trouble as O’Brady goes for a head vice… but Matt cuts off any momentum by running in and
clubbing O’Brady across the neck! He whips O’Brady around, and drops him throat first across the top rope! Sharplin admonishes Matt, but The American Nightmare
accomplished what he needed to do. Chad covers O’Brady, but only gets a two count. Matt is back in the ring, and the BGM go for another double team, setting
up for a Double Powerbomb! It takes a bit more work to get the bulky Irishman up, but they NAIL O’Brady to the mat! Sharplin tells Matt to get out of the
ring. Matt tells Sharplin to do his job and count the pin. Sharplin does. One… Two… O’Brady with a foot on the rope! Chad and Matt both explode in
anger!
REX CALIBER: The Bluegrass Mafia are being screwed here tonight! They had Thoes eliminated at least four times, yet they’re still down four to two! What
kind of refs do you have here Hewson?
BILL HEWSON: The same refs that were here when YOU ran things.
REX CALIBER: They were never this bad..
Chad and Matt berate the referee. Not noticing that O’Brady has crawled to his corner and tagged in Cuzin Zeke! Zeke is in like a house on fire, nailing
both BGM members with punches! He drags Chad, still the legal man, to center ring and hits him with a mule kick! Chad goes down, and Zeke hits the ropes
and comes back with a big splash! He covers! One.. two… Broken up by Matt! Sharplin tries to say something, but Matt just says “If they can get away
with it, so can I!”
BILL HEWSON: Hard to argue with that…
Zeke pulls Chad up and hits a good old fashioned piledriver! Chad is planted center ring! Zeke goes to the top rope! He calls for the Mudpuddle! Matt races
in to stop it from happening! Venar is back up, and he cuts Matt off with a dropkick! Zeke is free to hit his top rope splash!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!
FRANK WARBURTON: “THE SHOW” CHAD KURTIS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
REX CALIBER: This is a travesty! Have I said that already?
BILL HEWSON: Not in those words, no.
The American Nightmare surveys his opponents. He knows he’s on his own now. But he doesn’t seem to care. He eyes Cuzin Zeke, and looks ready to take him
down… But Venar has other ideas. He frantically calls for the tag. Zeke doesn’t look sure, but Venar says:
“I need to do this. ALONE.”
Zeke nods. And tags the Falcon in. He and the Celts step down from the ring and stand near the entrance, and watch.
BILL HEWSON: Venar’s been trying to prove himself since the moment he stepped foot in the NAPW! But is this a wise move?
REX CALIBER: What do you think? Those three idiots better not go far. They’re going to be busy very soon!
Venar goes to lock up with Kurtis. Matt hoists Venar up and tosses him across the ring. Venar is back up in a flash, and races back to hit Kurtis with a
forearm to the gut! Matt doubles over, and Venar goes for a Fame-asser! … Matt moves out of the way, smirking at the crowd. Venar hits the mat hard.
Matt stomps the Falcon with a vengeance, then picks him up and sends him flying with a fall away slam! Venar lands in a heap, and Matt covers! One! Two!
Venar gets a shoulder up! Matt is done arguing tonight. He simply lifts Venar into position for a bear hug… Venar clutches onto the ropes. Matt tries
to pull him off… Venar hooks his leg around the middle rope… Matt pulls harder… Venar lets go! Matt loses his balance and tumbles back! Venar is
carried with him, and falls on Matt for a pin! One.. Two… Matt kicks out with authority! Venar is sent through the ropes! He’s back up in a flash, and
he springboards into the ring, going for a… Matt catches him, and tries to hit a Spinning Side Slam… Venar reverses into a hurricarana!!! Matt doesn’t
go over, and he looks like he’s about to hit a powerbomb! Venar gets a flurry of desperate punches to Matt’s head, then floats over for a Sunset Flip!
Matt teeters, then reaches down and grabs Venar by the throat, and hauls him up for a choke slam! Venar planted into the mat, and Kurtis, covers him! One…
two…
VENAR KICKS OUT!
Matt Kurtis is PISSED. He sets Venar up for the Bluegrass Bomb! Venar goes to one knee, Matt tries to haul him back up, Venar surprises him with a jaw jammer!
Matt stumbles backwards! Venar with a dropkick to the leg, takes Kurtis down to one knee… Shining Wizard! Matt Kurtis is down! Venar races to the top
rope…
SPREAD MY WINGS!!
Venar with a cover, hooks the leg! Sharplin counts!
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
BILL HEWSON: Do you believe in miracles?
REX CALIBER: I believe in dumb luck..
FRANK WARBURTON: Here are your winners… THE DARK HORSES!
The fans pop huge for the underdogs. Thoes and O’Brady hoist Venar onto their shoulders, grinning broadly at the fans. Cuzin Zeke has a huge grin too. Matt
Kurtis rolls out of the ring, but not before shooting a glare back at the victors. But Venar is too elated to notice. Right now he’s on top of the world…
——————————————————————————–
The Dark Horses have gone to the back, but Matt Kurtis is still outside the ring. He looks mutinous. Mandy is trying to get him to come to the back, but
Kurtis isn’t listening. He’s glaring at a couple fans in the front row that are just heckling him something fierce. “Hey good job GOLIATH, you got your
balls handed to you in a sling!” “Oooh, he’s such an -ANGRY- American, isn’t he Scott?” “Hey come on, Matt, it’s okay, your team just got swept and Venar
made you his BITCH—”
BILL HEWSON: We’ve got a situation out here, Matt Kurtis just punched a fan in the face! Get security out here!
REX CALIBER: The fans are idiots, but come on Matt, you gotta be a professional man!
BILL HEWSON: Pot, kettle, black — oh, whatever! Security!
Matt Kurtis pops the other badmouthing fan, but before he can really do damage to these mouthy punks, security is ALL over him, a half-dozen guys surrounding
him. The fans boo Matt Kurtis.
BILL HEWSON: My God… I have to think that Matt Kurtis is going to be lucky with a huge fine, he’s looking at a suspension!
REX CALIBER: Hell, I don’t know if I even want that shit in REBEL.
BILL HEWSON: Not that you have any power, Mr. Color Commentator.
REX CALIBER: I got all the power that comes with banging the owner’s wife — I mean, bein’ an influential SUPERSTAR.
Security begins to haul Matt to the back, a frightened Mandy following suit. This is a bad situation.
——————————————————————————–
The crowd is getting rowdy and restless, especially after the incident just minutes ago with Matt Kurtis a couple fans. As good a time as any for another
Ultimate Attrition match!
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is another ULTIMATE ATTRITION MATCH-UP! Introducing first, at a combined weight of eight hundred eighteen pounds,
Jeff James, Odyssey Baldwin, Link Van Haggard, and team captain Dio Muerte: THE YOUNG & THE RECKLESS!
“YOU KNOW YOU’RE RIGHT!” The four men of Y&R walk out shoulder to shoulder, sneering at the crowd; Dio Muerte slaps his bat into his open palm, with Jeff
James to his right and Coast 2 Coast on his left. They climb the stairs and step into the ring, Jeff James “checking” the turnbuckles while Coast 2 Coast
stare down referee John Sharplin, who’s taking precisely 0.001% of their garbage.
REX CALIBER: These guys mean business, Hewson!
BILL HEWSON: The Young & The Reckless certainly have a lot of anger and scorn coming into this match, but what would else you expect from this group of
wrestlers?
REX CALIBER: Alcohol poisoning? Matching “ANGST” tattoos ?
FRANK WARBURTON: And their opponents! Introducing first, weighing in at one hundred eighty pounds…STEIN!
System of a Down! Science! Stein! The medical marvel comes down to the ring with jerky, purposeful steps. He stands on the far side of the ring, as Y&R
look like they might just swarm him before the bell, but Stein doesn’t look worried. Maybe it’s because before his opponents take a step, Andrew WK starts,
and the blue lights start shining.
FRANK WARBURTON: And weighing in at four hundred twenty pounds, the team of Mystic Ninja and The Expositioner…MYSTIC EXPOSITION!
Mystic Exposition rush down to the the ring, not taking the fans up on their offers of high-fives and autographs, choosing instead to slide into the ring
and back their man Stein up. The three of them stand firm; Mystic Ninja slaps Stein on the back, and Stein looks at him oddly.
FRANK WARBURTON: And finally, from Villahermosa, Mexico, accompanied to the ring by Montana Rose. He is the team captain of The Misfit Toys…EL REY DE
CORIZONES!
The sweet, sweet sounds of Paulina Rubio flood the room, and El Rey comes out in his spangled, shiny glory. His valet is at his arm as he walks down the
aisle, but she stays on the ground as the masked marvel climbs into the ring and clasps hands with The Expositioner.
BILL HEWSON: Other than the fact that the crowd seems to be behind them, Rex, I don’t really know what to make of this team.
REX CALIBER: Don’t make anything of them! They’re perfect just the way they are. What I want to know is where the train with the square wheels is!
Referee John Sharplin indicates that each team needs to indicate which of their members will start the match. The Misfit Toys immediately get into a huddle
and try to start a intricate game of paper, rock, scissors, with Expo giving Stein extremely lengthy and precise instructions on how to play. The Young
and The Reckless, however, have a different plan. They jump their opponents from behind, and it’s a GONG SHOW!!! El Rey shrugs off Jeff James and whips
him into the far ropes, while Mystic Ninja rolls with Dio Muerte’s bulldog attempt; Expositioner gets nailed by a double drop-kick from Coast 2 Coast,
and Stein’s just standing in the middle TRYING to get a hold of someone! But they’re just too fast for him; he reaches out for Odyssey Baldwin but Mystic
Ninja takes him out with the flying head scissors. He takes a step towards Jeff James, his hands outstretched, but James runs right back at El Rey and
leaps at him with a cross body! Expo’s up and takes out Link Van Haggard with a running shoulder block! Everyone’s running around the ring, bouncing off
the ropes and each other like ping pong balls, and Stein’s standing alone in the middle of the ring, lurching back and forth just TRYING to get his mitts
on someone!
Finally, Dio Muerte CLOCKS Stein with a shuffle side kick. And Stein spins around 360 degrees, staying on his feet! Dio Muerte’s flabbergasted, and that
loss of momentum is JUST what Stein needed! He grabs his opponent, and using his unearthly power lifts him over his head–BODY PRESS OUT OF THE RING! Stein
just threw the captain of The Young and The Reckless out of the ring like he was so much recyclables! Coast 2 Coast double-clothesline Mystic Ninja over
the ropes, but then get shoved over themselves by Expo and Stein, who follow them out of the ring! It’s just Jeff James and El Rey in the ring, and John
Sharplin FINALLY calls for the bell to start this match!
Jeff James and El Rey de Corizones lock up in the middle of the ring, and it’s James with the advantage as he nails a snap suplex, and quickly follows up
with a boot to the back of the head. James goes up for a top rope maneuver, but El Rey is on his feet too quickly and James has to hop down. El Rey quickly
rushes James, squashing him into the turnbuckle, and he falls to the ground. El Rey pulls him away from the ropes a couple of feet, then applies the Horquilla
del Corazon! Sharplin starts the count, one, two, three!
FRANK WARBURTON: Jeff James has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: Jeff James was eliminated so quickly his teammates didn’t even realize he was in trouble!
REX CALIBER: Jeff James is always in trouble, whether it’s with the law or the ladies.
Link Van Haggard steps into the ring to replace his partner, and El Rey tags out. To Stein. Link’s eyes widen but he squares off against Stein, feinting
to the left and right, trying to draw him out, but Stein doesn’t budge from his position. Van Haggard decides to risk it, running right at Stein, but side-steps
him at the last minute and rebounds off the far ropes: BULLDOG! Stein might be tough and strong, but LVH has momentum on his side, and Stein is down. He’s
getting back up, though, pulling on the ropes, and Van Haggard comes at him again; this time it’s a clothesline, and it knocks Stein over the ropes and
to the outside! Van Haggard goes out too, and all three members of the Young & The Reckless dogpile him, trying to keep him out of the ring, as Scott Sharplin
begins the count. The rest of the Misfits aren’t taking this lying down, though: Mystic Exposition rush to Stein’s aid, while El Rey rolls under the ring
for some additional support. Expositioner hauls Odyssey Baldwin off Stein, tossing him right into a dropkick from Mystic Ninja!
Expo turns back to help Stein, but the man needs no help. LVH and Dio Muerte are rocketed backwards as Stein pushes each man off him, then jerkily sits
up and takes a few quick steps to the ring. Sharplin’s on four, five, six, and Stein’s almost there, but Dio Muerte’s back at him, and hits him across
the shoulders with the bat! There’s a sickening crack, but it isn’t Stein. It’s the bat. The bat has a big crack right down the middle! Stein grabs onto
the rope, seemingly oblivious to Dio Muerte’s vicious attack, and climbs into the ring as Sharplin counts NINE… El Rey, meanwhile, has pulled a few items
out from under the apron, including a chair, a table, and a giant wedge of foam cheese.
Stein stands alone in the ring, looking out at the Young and The Reckless, as none of them seem like they want to come in. Stein turns back and looks at
his corner, and he sees Mystic Ninja there, so he tags him in. Quickly LVH slides in to the ring, and tags in Dio Muerte. Dio and Ninja in the ring, Dio
lays into the Ninja with a chop, which stumbles him back slightly, but Ninja follows it up with a toe kick to Dio’s gut. A second chop from Dio, and another
kick from Ninja. Chop! Kick! Chop! Kick! Dio chops Ninja, and then nails him with a suplex! Ninja’s groggy, and Dio Muerte lifts him up and hauls him out
of the ring! Dio Muerte climbs over the top rope, then RAMS Ninja chest-first into the apron! All the air knocked out of him, Ninja collapses, and Dio
Muerte hauls him onto the timekeeper’s table. Then he gets back into the ring, climbs to the top turnbuckle, and lets fly with a FROG SPLASH!
And hits NOTHING BUT TABLE! Ninja rolled out of the way in the nick of time, and Dio Muerte is howling in pain! Ninja lifts him up and hauls him into the
ring, then tags in Stein again! Stein walks slowly towards Dio Muerte, then lifts him up in a cobra clutch! Dio Muerte is SMOTHERED IN KETCHUP! Sharplin
holds up Dio’s arm, and it falls once! Sharplin lifts the arm up again, and it falls once more! Coast 2 Coast quickly rush in to break up the sleeper,
but Mystic Exposition fell them with double dropkicks on either side of Stein and Dio! Sharplin lifts Dio’s arm a third time, and it falls! Dio Muerte
did not tap out, but the force of the SMOTHERING put him out!
FRANK WARBURTON: Dio Muerte has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: The captain of The Young and The Reckless has just been eliminated! And now C2C is down two men against the entire Toys team, without the captain!
REX CALIBER: ABANDON SHIP!
Link Van Haggard quickly rolls out of the ring after that kick to the jaw, which leaves Odyssey Baldwin as the legal man for Y&R. Stein gets to his feet
and tags in The Expositioner, who has some experience against Mr. Baldwin. Odyssey puts Expo down with a belly to belly suplex, but Expo moves out of the
way of a falling knee drop, and Odyssey is on the mat, holding his knee in pain. Expo back on his feet, he shouts out to the crowd: “And now, ladies and
gentlemen, it is time for me to…X-POUND!” And he does: crashing into Odyssey Baldwin, Expositioner lets fire with rights and lefts until Sharplin calls
for him to break it up. “Of course, sir,” says Expo, “I always respect and admire the men in your oof!”
Yes, he said “oof.” Because Odyssey Baldwin just nailed him in the little Expos. Expositioner’s on his knees, and Odyssey Baldwin’s circling him in the
ring, a little limp in his right step. He slaps Expo across the face, open-handed, which earms him a warning from Sharplin, but he just laughs it off and
slams The Expositioner with a Baldwin Factor! Here’s the cover, one, two, th–Expo kicks out! Baldwin is gritting his teeth in frustration, but he gives
Expositioner a few boots to the back for his troubles, and then sneers at the crowd, who pelt him with verbal abuse. Sneering, he turns back to Expositioner,
who’s just getting to his feet; Baldwin whips him into the far ropes, and nails him with a Flying Forearm, which crashes Expo back to the mat. Baldwin
goes up to the top rope, and tries a Left Turn at Beverly Hills!
AND EXPO LIFTS HIS KNEES! The Young and The Reckless are putting their bodies on the line, but they just can’t seem to catch a break with their top rope
maneuvers! Odyssey Baldwin is flat on the mat, and Expo goes for a cover, one, two, kickout! Both men are huffing and puffing, trying to get a little energy
back, and Sharplin starts the ten count. The Expositioner starts crawling at two, and gets to his corner to tag in Mystic Ninja, who helps his partner
to his feet. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” asks Expo. Ninja nods, and the two men get to opposite turnbuckles. The crowd shouts out BINGO TANGO!
“X-TERMINATE!”
Mystic Exposition nail Odyssey Baldwin with their dropkicks, and Ninja goes for the pin! One, two, three!
FRANK WARBURTON: Odyssey Baldwin has been eliminated!
REX CALIBER: Now Link Van Haggard has to face down ALL FOUR of those whackjobs by himself? No way, man, no (BLEEP) way. Forget it, Link: it’s Chinatown!
Link Van Haggard either doesn’t hear Rex Caliber or doesn’t care. He rushes the ring, snarling and roaring, and kicks Expo right in the balls! That’s a
sensitive area for anyone, and DOUBLY sensitive for Expo right now! Then he slams him down with a Thunderchild Driver, and starts laying into him with
kicks as he lies there motionless. Mystic Ninja, the legal man, comes in to save his partner, and gets a thumb to the eye for his trouble. Ninja stumbles,
and Van Haggard capitalizes with a swinging neckbreaker! Climbing to the top rope, maybe it’s the Reckless’ turn for a string of good luck? BULLET THE
BLUE SKY CONNECTS! Mystic Ninja’s as limp as a rag doll! Here’s the cover, one, two, three!
FRANK WARBURTON: Mystic Ninja has been eliminated!
Van Haggard kicks Expo out of the ring and he crashes to the ground. El Rey de Corizones rushes him, but he ducks and El Ray garrottes himself on the top
rope, then falls back in time to recieve a knee smash from LVH! Link Van Haggard stands in the middle of the ring, furious: he is a man possessed right
now! He rushes the Misfits’ corner, and bumps Stein off the apron; Stein hits his head on the barricade! STEIN ISN’T MOVING!
BILL HEWSON: My god! Van Haggard has El Rey in the middle of the ring with no current means of support!
REX CALIBER: He wants to show him exactly what he’s going up against at Supremacy! There won’t be any partners to protect him from the Carolinas Champ then!
Link Van Haggard turns his attention back to El Rey, hitting him with the German Suplex, then with the bridge, one, two, El Rey kicks out. But LVH is not
letting El Rey get a breath; he stomps him a few times, then starts choking him with the sole of his boot! Sharplin has to count to four until he lets
go. Sharplin starts to lecture him but Link just turns his back on him and starts choking El Rey up against the ropes! Again with the release on the count
of four, and Sharplin grabs him by the shoulder says he won’t get a third four count. “I won’t NEED it,” spits Van Haggard, and he hauls El Rey to his
feet and hits him with a chop; El Rey falls backwards to the ropes but then bounces back and fires off with a chop of his own. Van Haggard, stunned, returns
the favour, but El Rey chops back! CHOP BATTLE! Link, Rey, Link, Rey, Link–EL REY GETS A KNEE TO THE GUT! Link Van Haggard is doubled over, and El Rey
goes for the DDT, but Link quickly breaks the hold and bounces off the ropes for a swinging neckbreaker! Link with the pin, one, two, three–El Rey gets
the foot on the ropes! Link can’t believe it; he starts tearing his hair but quickly reconsiders, then turns his attentio back to El Rey. Link steps back
towards him–El Rey with the roll-up! One, two, kickout!
Both men on their feet now, they lock up: Link Van Haggard tries for a German Suplex, but El Rey reverses it into a back body drop, but Link Van Haggard
quickly breaks free and comes at El Rey again! El Rey sidesteps the charching Kiwi, but Van Haggard rebounds off the ropes RIGHT INTO REY’S KNEE! Link’s
doubled over, El Rey tries for the double arm underhook, and gets it! Tango Pasado del Amor! The cover! One, two, three!
FRANK WARBURTON: Link Van Haggard has been eliminated! Your winners…THE MISFIT TOYS!
REX CALIBER: Now THAT’S how you do things in REBEL Pro, Hewson! If he does that in January, El Rey de Corizones will be the Carolinas champ!
BILL HEWSON: Link Van Haggard did his best, but the odds were stacked against him. The Misfit Toys pick up the win in a brutal contest, but I’m worried
for Stein!
As is Mystic Exposition, who have made their way over to where Stein lays on the ground, motionless. The Expositioner calls his name, and Stein sits straight
up, looking around at his partners. He sees El Rey standing in the middle of the ring, his hand raised, and smiles. Crowd goes tomato!
——————————————————————————–
The fans are red hot after seeing some of the most exciting wrestling in all of Indy Wrestling. Suddenly, “Holy Diver” by Dio starts to play. The crowd
gives a mild response as rookie Gregory Zade steps through the curtain. Chants of “who the hell are you” are you flood the arena as the young upstart makes
his way to the ring. A smug smile is on the face of Zade as he slides into the ring.
GREGORY ZADE: Give me a damn mic.
Frank Warburton raises an eyebrow and passes the mic to Zade, who snatches it rudely from his hand.
GREGORY ZADE: Thank you. Now if you please, take your fat out of shape body out of this ring and let a pro do his job. Can you handle that lard ass? Get
the hell out!
Frank leaves the ring. The crowd boos this.
BILL HEWSON: Nobody talks to Frank Warburton like that! Come on, who is this kid think he is?
GREGORY ZADE: Now that Poppin Fresh is out of this cheap dirty ring, I can get down to business.
Okay, the crowd’s had about enough of Gregory Zade. Boooooo!
GREGOY ZADE: Shut the hell up! I have been here five minutes and already I can see what a talentless roster this promotion has. I heard you Canadian wrestling
fans were such smart fans. But after hearing you cheer for all this crap, I can see that your just as full of shit as this damn promotion.
The boos shoot into the ring like a moth to a flame.
GREGORY ZADE: So right now. I’m sending out an open challenge to anyone who want to face me baby! So whats say it, NAPW? Whats my first match?
BILL HEWSON: Gregory Zade DEMANDING a match here, well geez kid, I’m sure NAPW didn’t hire you to come out and TALK.
REX CALIBER: Hey I dunno, I kinda like this kid. I mean geez, Hewson, you seen these Calgary fans? “Fat and out of shape” is a damned compliment for most
of ‘em.
BILL HEWSON: Well here comes the commissioner right now, we’ll see what he makes of “Gregory Zade.”
The crowd cheers Terry Brandon, not that they’re huge fans, but they’re happy to see anybody come in and shut this kid up.
TERRY BRANDON: First of all, good evening Calgary, and thank you all for coming out to see NAPW, by God it’s been over two years! Are you enjoying one hell
of a show so far? (POP) Well don’t go anywhere because we’ve got a lot more to come. NOW! Son, Gregory Zade, let me get this straight if I heard you right,
that you think NAPW is “full of shit.” And then if my ears don’t deceive me, you “want a match?” Is that right?
GREGORY ZADE: That’s right, old man. You put me in any damn match and I’ll beat any one of these NAPW “Superstars.”
Ooh.
TERRY BRANDON: Well, I’m not a spring chicken, that’s for sure, so old man, hey… fair comment, alright. But I’ll tell you what ISN’T a fair comment! It’s
signing a contract to NAPW and then coming out here and proclaiming that NAPW is full of shit! Well if NAPW is full of shit, then why the hell did you
sign a contract? Listen, son, you’re from England, but this is Calgary Alberta, home of the Calgary Stampede! Alberta Beef! And being that this is Calgary,
most of these people know exactly what shit is, and most of the time it comes out of a cow’s ass, but right now I think all these fans would agree that
NAPW is not only NOT full of shit, but the talent in NAPW is among the best in the world! And the only REASON anybody would want to come here is to wrestle
amongst the BEST in the world! So are you here to wrestle shitty wrestlers in some run-down two-bit wanna-be indie promotion, or are you here to wrestle
the best in the world?
Whew. Did he even take a breath in that spiel. Zade just smirks and takes the microphone.
GREGORY ZADE: Are you about done old man or do you just like hearing yourself talk? I don’t need to repeat myself, you heard what I had to say and so did
all these roly-poly alberta hicks.
Calling Albertans hicks? CALGARY albertans? Well, I mean… fair enough, but still. BOOOOO.
TERRY BRANDON: Fair enough, I already know what you said. But allow me to lay a few things out for you. Here in NAPW, you don’t come in and get title shots,
big matches, or any of that right off the bat. Here in NAPW, it’s about wins and losses. And you win, you move up the rankings, you lose, somebody’s going
to take your spot! We give you the opportunities and you do the most to make of them. And secondly we didn’t hire you to do nothing with you, but since
you want a match so bad and can’t wait til the New Year, then I tell you what. Next week I have a double-debut, but just for YOU, Zade, I’m going to make
it a TRIPLE-THREAT. It’ll be Black Thursday III, one of our biggest shows ever, and you got a chance to make an impression! Three newcomers looking to
show the NAPW fans that they deserve their spots! Luke O’Hern vs Trent Daniels vs Gregory Zade! And I’ll tell you what, Zade, if you can win, I’ll give
you a spot in the 2008 Canada Cup, where men like Rex Caliber and Billy Kryenik became household names! Now enough with all this talking, we have a WRESTLING
show to do!
Brandon leaves the ring. Zade smirks, he looks reasonably satisfied… “Holy Diver” hits and Zade poses for the fans to a chorus of boos. Well, on with
the show…
——————————————————————————–
REX CALIBER: I tell you, I wouldn’t even joe her in the —
BILL HEWSON: And I thought Jack Attack was bad.
FRANK WARBURTON: The following is an Ultimate Attrition match!
“STONE COLD CRAZY!”
And here comes the team of Wrestling 101. Andrew Rossi enters first, scowling. He is followed by the COVERED IN GOLD duo of Ace and Wylde, C.A.B.S., accompanied
by Rosie Cheeks. Trailing a significant distance behind them is the NAPW Heritage champion Stone Zellor. Stone gets a nice pop, contrary to the boos the
crowd is dishing out to CABS and Rossi.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first! The captain, Andrew Rossi! The NAPW and REBEL tag team champions accompanied by Rosie Cheeks, Ace Adams and Steven Wylde,
C.A.B.S.! And finally, the NAPW Heritage champion, Stone Zellor! They are WRESTLING 101!
REX CALIBER: Look at all that gold, Hewson. Damn beautiful.
BILL HEWSON: C.A.B.S. made history in the month of November, becoming the NAPW and REBEL tag team champions at the same time. Stone Zellor has rarely been
parted from the Heritage belt since early summer. Andrew Rossi is the only man who does not hold gold on this team.
REX CALIBER: Yeah, only because the current NAPW management HOLDIN’ THE MAN DOWN.
BILL HEWSON: I don’t remember you being a huge Rossi fan when you were in charge.
REX CALIBER: Hey, guy got title shots when I was in charge didn’t he?
101 hit the ring. C.A.B.S. do their censorship pose with Rosie. Stone hangs out in the corner, looking completely unhappy to be part of this. Rossi looks
towards the entrance, cheek twitching in agitation…
SUPERFLY!
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing the second-team! First, from Boston Massachuesetts… DR. TITTYLOVER!
The mad pimp dances his way down to ringside, seeing if there are any big women in the crowd, he loves his fleshy ladies.
“SCHOOL’S OUT FOR SUMMER!
SCHOOL’S OUT FOR EVER!”
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing second, from parts unknown… PROFESSOR P!
REX CALIBER: Professor P done his christmas shoppin’ early!
Indeed he has. As GWAR’s version of the classic tune blasts, Professor P comes out pushing a shopping cart fulla PLUNDAH (™Dusty Rhodes). His music faces,
and then Tool hits. Manny X comes out, stroking his long braided goatee, wearing a full-length flame-detailed overcoat.
FRANK WARBURTON: Next, from Los Angeles California… MANNY X!
Manny comes to the ring, evil intentions on his face. Rosie hides behind CABS as Manny leers at her. Professor P proceeds to start tossing weapons into
the ring as Wrestling 101 looks on in disgust. Dr. Tittylover is trying to mack on one of those fat female wrestling fans, the ones that show off as much
cleavage as possible to try to compensate for their FAT. But the fans are waiting for one man…
“WE FALL, WE FALL!”
AND HERE HE COMES!
FRANK WARBURTON: And introducing the CAPTAIN of the GOAT PIMP-TASTIC SEXY ALL-STARS… “Superstar” TOMMY DEATHROW!
BILL HEWSON: And here comes the man, and he’s got a barbed wire 2×4 in his hands! That’s right, this match is SUPERSTAR rules, and that means —
REX CALIBER: TIME TO LET REBEL REIGN!
BILL HEWSON: Here we go!
Deathrow slides into the ring, immediately met by Andrew Rossi who slugs him, knocking the barbed-wire 2×4 away. Manny and Professor P slide into the ring
as well, hooking up with a CABS member each! Rosie ditches out of the ring in a hurry as Tittylover and Stone Zellor both hang around the outside. Superstar
rules means no tags, anybody can be pinned at any time! Rossi and CABS each taking control on the Goat-Pimps, backing them into corners. TRIPLE IRISH-WHIP!
The Pimps stop in the middle of the ring. Deathrow grins and smacks Manny and Professor P each in the sack, then the Goat Pimps drop trow and display SEXY
(disgusting) ass to the Wrestling 101. Ace Adams and Wylde look horrified as Rossi throws up in his mouth a little. Rosie Cheeks shrieks on the outside
and tries to look away. The Pimps pull up the pants and then each charge, splashing their opponents in each corner! Here we go again, TRIPLE IRISH-WHIP
sends Rossi and CABS colliding into one another as the fans go crazy for the Goat Pimp-Tastic Sexy All-Stars!
BILL HEWSON: Many fans have wanted to see Manny X and Deathrow in the same ring together, but Professor P seems to be right on the same page with the level
of… uh… well, he doesn’t seem to lack any inhibitions.
REX CALIBER: And he’s got a barbed-wire double-ended dildo! Damn, I ain’t ever used one like that before!
BILL HEWSON: Oh my goodness.
Professor P, yes. Has a double-ended dildo wrapped in barbed wire. This match is rated NC-17. He pulls Rossi up and WAILS away at the man’s head with it.
Rossi goes down in pain and P kneels down, raking the disgustingly deadly device across his forehead in a total gross-out spot. Meanwhile, Deathrow and
Steven Wylde have gotten into a slugfest. P gets off of Rossi, who is GUSHING blood already. Adams sent off the ropes CLANG! Manny X takes his head off
with a steel chair shot! Good Lord! Wait a minute, Deathrow’s turn! Manny puts the chair over Adams’ face and Deathrow hits a running elbow drop. SMASH.
Adams’ leg quivers. Manny rolls outside and pulls Rossi with him, smashing the man into the guardrail. Adams is pulled out by Rosie to spare him, but WYLDE!
SPEAR! He spears Professor P down out of nowhere! He gets up and grabs Deathrow by the back for a German suplex, TRICK KNEE. STD kicks him in the nuts,
then hits a bulldog onto the barbed wire 2×4! Oh my god!
BILL HEWSON: This match has gotten out of hand already! Wrestling 101, at least 3/4 of them, are totally against garbage wrestling, but how can they possibly
survive when their opponents are willing to brutalize them so? Rossi and Adams are both busted open already, and now so is Steven Wylde!
REX CALIBER: He’s gonna get a lot more than busted open, cos it’s time for TOTAL NONSTOP (BLEEP)IN’ TOMMY!
AKA Alex Shelley’s SKULLF***. And Deathrow is pounding Wylde head-first into the barbed wire with his mighty crotch thrusts. It’s horrible on so many levels.
Wylde rolls out of the ring. Ace is trying to fend off Manny X now, as Manny is coming for ROSIE. He’s got bad intentions on his mind. Rossi and Professor
P brawl into the crowd of wrestlers as Wylde somehow gets up — DEATHROW WITH A SLOPPY SUICIDE DIVE ONTO THE ENTIRE CROWD OF ‘EM! Six men and one woman
are down, as suddenly Dr. Tittylover rolls into the ring! He wants the microphone!
DR. TITTYLOVER: Hey suckas! Play the Titty’s music, baby! Calgary needs some lovin’ from the flyest pimp in north of 60 crackas!
“SUPERFLY” hits up at the mad doctor’s request and he busts a move! Pop! Lock! Snap, crackle, pop! The crowd starts chanting “TITTY, TITTY, TITTY.” But
wait. Stone Zellor suddenly shaking his head at the good doctor.
STONE ZELLOR: You call those moves, my man? Check this out, cos I got MAD skillz, bitch!
The crowd says “bitch” along with Stone, who begins to rock it up, BREAKDANCING… and then reaching for the sky! The Doctor flashes his plated grill in
a grin as the crowd chants “YOU GOT SERVED! YOU GOT SERVED.” Stone bows and says “your turn” to the Doctor. Titty holds up a finger, saying “I got dis
cracka!” And begins to do his best James Brown impression, dropping down into the splits. He then goes crazy and Stone Zellor grabs a towel from the timekeeper,
putting it over Titty, seemingly calming him down. Stone leads Titty to the ropes
OWWWWWW! Titty springs back into life, doing a crazy dance that’s half James Brown, half Ric Flair
WHAM
Until he gets speared down by Steven Wylde! Stone looks pissed, yelling “Hey man, we was just getting started.” Adams is in the ring too, grabbing the good
doctor in a bear hug — WYLDE OFF THE ROPES! CENSOR THIS! Adams makes the cover, one, two three!
FRANK WARBURTON: As a result of a pinfall, Dr. Tittylover has been eliminated!
BILL HEWSON: Well Stone Zellor was just getting into a dance-off with Dr. Tittylover, until CABS eliminated the man with a sneak attack! And I don’t think
Stone’s very happy with this turn of events.
REX CALIBER: What’s his damn problem anyways, this ain’t American Bandstand, you gotta pin your guys to win the match.
Meanwhile, Stone is giving CABS a piece of his mind as Tittylover rolls out. The Goat-Pimps are regrouping outside, and are watching as Wrestling 101 seem
to implode. Rossi rolls into the ring and asserts his leadership, telling Stone to get on the damn page. The bloody 101 members are standing their ground
… and Stone Zellor turns to leave the ring.
“WAIT!”
Rosie Cheeks jumps into the ring and Stone turns around. She has a pleading expression on her face as Ace and Steven look at her in confusion. She has the
mic.
ROSIE CHEEKS: Stone, don’t leave this team! With you, Wrestling 101 can win this match… we need you! I—I need you!
BILL HEWSON: Rosie Cheeks… NEEDS Stone Zellor?
REX CALIBER: Damn, maybe that’s why she keeps turning down the rides on the Rex Machine, she got the hots for Stone Zellor! Crazy broad!
BILL HEWSON: I think this is news to Rosie’s CABS allies, they don’t look too thrilled!
Ace grabs Rosie’s arm, demanding an explanation. At that, Stone grabs Ace and pulls her away from Rosie. “Hey leave her alone, she’s just a girl who can’t
get over it, man.” Rossi tries to keep the peace. Meanwhile, the Goat-Pimps have all hit the front row, sitting with the fans, drinking their beer. Tempers
are heating up in the ring as Rosie gets inbetween Ace and Stone, then once again looks to Stone, with one more imploring. Stone says “look girl, it’s
OVER. Ain’t happening.” Rosie’s face shows her heart breaking, and then …
SHE SLAPS STONE ZELLOR ACROSS THE FACE!
Stone looks stunned, but before anybody else can react… BUBBLES COMES FROM THE AISLE AND TACKLES ROSIE CHEEKS!
REX CALIBER: CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!
BILL HEWSON: Will you be serious — wait, Rosie Cheeks and Bubbles are going at it! CATFIGHT! CATFIGHT!
CABS pull Rosie off, Stone and Rossi pulling Bubbles. Stone shoves Rossi away, holding Bubbles around the waist. ROSIE BREAKS FREE! She lunges at Bubbles
—
PIMP SLAP!
Bubbles pimp slaps Rosie Cheeks down! That’s enough for Stone Zellor, who picks Bubbles up over his shoulder and gets out of the ring, carrying Bubbles
to the back without a backwards glance at his teammates or Rosie Cheeks. Rossi and CABS are looking furious as Rosie wails in the center of the ring, and
Stone is GONE.
BILL HEWSON: There are no count-outs in a Superstar rules match, but I don’t think Stone Zellor is coming back! What a turn of events we have just witnessed,
folks… I don’t even know how to describe it!
REX CALIBER: (BLEEP)in’ awesome, that’s how!
BILL HEWSON: And now that the drama is done, here come the Goat-Pimps for more! It’s three-on-three, and the violence has just begun!
Rossi and CABS are blindsided by the pimps, using their fists of fury and pimpness. Manny hoists up Ace – TAZZMISSIONPLEX! He covers, one, two, Ace gets
out! Professor P misses a Big Boot on Andrew Rossi, and gets CAUGHT by a STIFF lariat from Rossi! PAINKILLER ATTEMPT! P could tap out, but Deathrow stomps
Rossi in the head to stop that. Deathrow pulls Rossi up, throws some big right hands and shoots him to the ropes. STD grabs a “One-way” sign and clanks
it across Rossi’s face on the rebound. Cover one, two, Rossi with a kick-out.
Deathrow gets up — WYLDE! Boot to the gut, SCISSORS KICK! He would cover, but Professor P nails him from behind with the barbed wire 2×4! It tears and
rips at Wylde’s white shirt and flesh, pinpricks of blood erupting through the white! Wylde turns around, in pain, as P rears back for one big shot —
Adams grabs the 2×4 away from behind and tosses it outside! P punches Ace in the head, but a blood-frenzied Wylde grabs him from behind for a CENSORPLEX!
Manny charges, ducked, eats a CENSORPLEX! Deathrow throws a right hand, Wylde blocks and ducks around behind, CENSORPLEX!
BILL HEWSON: BLOODY OR NOT, Steven Wylde has just decimated the Goat-Pimps in a blood-rage! CABS and Rossi all pin! We could see all three men eliminated
in one, one, two, th NO! Kicks-out from each Goat-Pimp!
REX CALIBER: They’re not just not All-Stars, they’re sexy All-Stars, but this match is fourteen kinds of insane, Hewson. AND I LOVE IT.
Wrestling 101 toss Deathrow and Professor P over the ropes, the STD and Prof landing hard. CABS want to settle Manny X. Manny starts firing wild rights
and lefts but the three-on-one is too much. Adams with a scoop slam… into a reverse DDT! Rossi slides outside the ring, hitting a russian leg sweep on
Deathrow BACK INTO THE GUARDRAIL! Damn. Wylde and Adams continuing the double team, what’s this? Wylde with a reverse suplex, dropping Manny straight down
onto the canvas. Ace pulls the stunned man up, and it’s a double-team Fisherman’s buster! Cover
ONE
TWO
THKICKOUT!
Somehow Manny X kicks out of that big double fisherman’s buster. On the outside, Rossi tosses Professor P into the crowd. He’s going to let CABS get the
double-team as long as possible — long enough to eliminate the REBEL rouser. Manny is still going, but the bloody CABS want him DONE.
BILL HEWSON: Manny X represents everything that CABS HATE about pro wrestling! The man is famous for barbed wire matches, ladder matches, street fights,
you name it!
REX CALIBER: The dude is one (BLEEP)ed up dude, and the fans in Carolina love it. Course they’re in-bred hicks, but still, they’re asses are in seats for
a dude like Manny X.
BILL HEWSON: Rex, you’re from Carolina.
REX CALIBER: Don’t even go there Hewson, or I’ll knock you out. I’m not your usual pussy idiot partner.
BILL HEWSON: Hey, Jack may be a pussy and he may be an idiot, but… what was that third thing?
In the ring, Manny is suplexed to the canvas. Wylde covers, again only a two count. Adams says that’s IT, it’s time to end this. He pulls Manny up, talking
trash to him… and then hooks it up. FULLY CENSORED. The Forward Russian Legsweep! Ace crosses his arms, “It’S OVER,” and hooks the leg. ONE, TWO, THREE
SHOULDER UP! SHOULDER UP! Ace can’t believe it, screaming at referee Anthony Uruburu! Uruburu confirms a two, even as Wylde grabs him by the lapels in
anger. The ref shoves Wylde off ROLLED UP BY MANNY! ONE! TWO! Ace breaks it up!
BILL HEWSON: Manny X almost caught a break right there! How much more can he survive?
REX CALIBER: My answer? Not THIS!
BILL HEWSON: CABS setting up for the CENSOR THIS! They’ve already pinned Tittylover with it!
Ace holds the beaten Manny in a bear hug as Wylde hits the ropes — Tripped! STD pulls Wylde out of the ring, where’s Rossi? He’s down! STD must have gotten
him! Before Ace can even react, still holding Manny, Professor P
DESTROYS HIM WITH A BIG BOOT!
Manny X rolls over and hooks the leg of Ace! ONE, TWO, THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Ace Adams has been eliminated by a pinfall!
BILL HEWSON: We’re down to a three on two! Rossi and Wylde need a fall, and fast!
REX CALIBER: You know, that Professor P guy…
BILL HEWSON: What?
REX CALIBER: Nothing, just seein’ things.
Rossi gets rolled in. Professor P grabs him and puts him in the TREE OF WOE. STD punches Wylde some more on the outside. Irish whip, reversed, STD into
the steel steps! Manny is shaking the cobwebs loose… Meanwhile, Professor P has Rossi upside down, and grabs the man’s arm! He’s got a cross arm-breaker,
hanging off the ring apron as Rossi yells in pain! The referee tells Professor P to break it, he can’t call a DQ but he won’t take a submission either.
Professor P doesn’t give a damn. Manny is back to his feet — WYLDE WITH A SPEAR — NO! Manny side-steps! Wylde stops himself, but when he turns around
he gets CRACKED in the face with a steel chair! The blood is flowing even more! Manny X pulls up Steven Wylde, inverted fireman’s carry… and here it
is! GANG BANGING SINCE ’94! Wylde knocked silly by the knee to the back of his head as Manny covers ONE, TWO, THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Steven Wylde has been eliminated by a pinfall!
BILL HEWSON: We’re down to a 3 on 1 situation, and Manny X has scored pinfalls over both members of the CABS! He just pinned both members of the NAPW and
REBEL tag team champions! This man deserves a tag title shot!
REX CALIBER: Yeah, maybe. Hey Hewson, that move Professor P is using… don’t it look familiar to you Hewson?
BILL HEWSON: You know, it does, but I couldn’t for the life of me place it.
REX CALIBER: While Professor P gots to let go of it, he has to eliminate Andrew Rossi, and he can’t do that even if he breaks his arm.
Uruburu finally gets involved, physically making Professor P break the hold. Rossi slumps down from the Tree of Woe. Slowly, he gets up… blood on his
face… and looks around.
In one corner, Professor P.
In the next, Manny X stroking his goatee like Jim The Anvil, laughing evilly.
In the final corner, the sickest Superstar of them all, the Tommy Deathrow.
Rossi eyes go wide, but his face turns into one of anger.
BILL HEWSON: And we know that if Andrew Rossi is pinned in this match-up, then he is only one loss away from losing his JOB in NAPW! It’s all about wins
here in NAPW and Rossi has been short on them lately!
REX CALIBER: Well he might want to drop the damn garbage wrestling hate if he wants a chance, this ain’t a wrestling match, this is a fight and he just
gotta survive now!
And the Goat-Pimps advance — SEXYKICK! Rossi hasn’t used that one in a while, he kicks Manny X’s teeth down his throat! Professor P nails him though,
and whips Rossi to the ropes. SPINEBUSTER FROM P — Rossi counters with an Impact DDT! Deathrow from behind CUTTER! Rossi nails Deathrow with a cutter!
Professor P is in position, what is Rossi doing? BEST! MOONSAULT! EVER!
BILL HEWSON: I never thought we’d see that move from Andrew Rossi again!
REX CALIBER: He’s gotta bring it all out, he’s down three on one man!
BILL HEWSON: And he covers on Professor P, one, two, Manny X with the save! Rossi almost lowered the odds, but as we’ve already seen tonight, three on one,
four on one, it’s hard to come back! Can Rossi do what nobody else tonight has done?
Not if Manny has anything to do about it. He clotheslines Rossi over the top rope, and then… HELL YOU MOTHER(BLEEP)ER! Cartwheel into a top rope corckscrew
suicide plancha — SPLAT. Rossi gets the HELL out of the way and Manny X splats into the concrete HARD. Oh man, that’s gotta hurt. Rossi doesn’t have
time to enjoy this small victory, he gets into the ring and tries to lariat a rising Deathrow’s head off — ducked! Deathrow boots the man in the gut,
DEATHROW DRIVER! NOBODY GETS OUT OF THIS WHEN HE HITS IT — so Rossi doesn’t let him hit it! Double-leg take out, INTO A JACK-KNIFE PINNING COMBINATION!
ONE, TWO, DEATHROW KICKS OUT! Rossi grabs the arm, PAINKILLER! Deathrow yells in pain, even the sexiest goat can only take so much —
Professor P with a knee smash right into Rossi’s face breaks that up. And then, Professor P hooks Rossi’s legs in a Cloverleaf style… and yells at Deathrow
to hook him up. STD cocks his head with a look of surprise, a look of dawning comprehension, a look of “No way.” Professor P hoists Rossi up, STD grabs
the man’s head.
“GOODBYE!”
FUBAR! FUBAR! CLOVER-LEAF IMPLANT DDT!
REX CALIBER: WAIT A MINUTE! ROSSI JUST GOT A HANGOVER!
BILL HEWSON: …IT CAN’T BE! THE COVER! ONE! TWO! THREE! THE GOAT PIMP-TASTIC ALL-STARS WIN!
FRANK WARBURTON: Andrew Rossi has been eliminated, your winners… THE GOAT PIMP-TASTIC SEXY ALL-STARS!
The crowd erupts in cheers as “We Fall, We Fall” kicks up. But Deathrow signals to cut the music and looks at Professor P. The crowd, too, is wondering,
some getting excited. No. It couldn’t be. It can’t be!
Suddenly STD reaches over and violently rips off the Professor’s mask, revealing…
THE MAN IN BLACK!
BILL HEWSON: Professor P is the Man In Black? Unbelievable!
REX CALIBER: It ain’t just the Man In Black, Hewson, it’s…
The crowd is getting louder and louder, can it be? Can it possibly be? STD licks his lips, a huge grin breaking out on his face. Manny X is getting back
in the ring, holding his back, watching as this unfolds.
Professor P stands in the center of the ring, and reaches up to the MIB black bandana and zorro mask. He bows his head, holding it… and then rips it off.
REX CALIBER: KRUSTY. KID. PAULLLLLLL!
BILL HEWSON: SEXY ADORABLE DRUNKS! THE SAD ARE BACK!
The crowd is chanting “SAD, SAD, SAD!” as KKP looks up, hugging Deathrow. Then, “TOO SEXY” hits the PA, and it’s time for a SEXY ADORABLE DANCE. STD and
KKP look over at Manny X, telling him to dance too. P rips off the Professor P pants, revealing a black speedo underneath. Tommy agrees that pantsless
is the way to, wearing a red speedo. Manny X begins to pull his tights down, but then giggles, he ain’t wearing NOTHIN’ underneath. Manny leaves the ring,
letting SAD celebrate their reunion by bumping asses. The crowd goes nuts. Because this is a totally screwed up e-fed, basically. STD hits the corner and
begins to pinch his nipples as Professor P hits the opposite corner and does the same.
And they do their little turns, on the catwalk, yeah, on the catwalk, yeah, they do their little turn on the catwalk. STD & KKP = SAD = AWESOMES!
——————————————————————————–
FRANK WARBURTON: The following contest is sheduled for one fall and is for the NAPW World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first! Weighing in at two
hundred and twenty-seven pounds! From the Kingdom of Zamunda! This is PRINCE DARKO!
AkForty hits the speakers, and Darko comes out, looking over the Calgary crowd. Booos! Boos, I say! Darko doesn’t cotton to what the fans think, instead
motioning that he’ll be wearing that big shiny belt after this is done with.
BILL HEWSON: The challenger to Bruce Richards is as arrogant as usual. Rex, what do you think Darko’s going to need to do here to defeat the NAPW champion?
REX CALIBER: Hit Bruce hard and hit him often! If Darko’s able to be speedier than Bruce, that should be an advantage, because if Bruce gets him in a power
move or two, that could be all she wrote!
Muse! Western glam! Cheers from the crowd!
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! He is the NAPW World Heavyweight champion! Hailing from St. Albert, Alberta, he weighs in at two hundred and seventy
pounds! He is Bruce! The BEAST! Richards!
Bruce Richards enters, Bill Fleming at his side, and surveys the fans, all of them cheering him. A few in the front row start bowing because they are not
worthy. One guy holds up a sign that says “Never Trust The Beast!” Bruce and Bill walk towards the ring, Bill talking as Bruce stares evenly at Prince
Darko.
BILL HEWSON: Over the past week, Bruce has been, well, dismissive of Darko. He seems to be more concerned with Donovan Astros at Black Thursday III!
REX CALIBER: Nothing against Bruce, but that’s how you lose belts! You should be focused on what’s in front of you, not what’s down the road!
BILL HEWSON: The way Bruce is staring daggers at Prince Darko, that doesn’t seem like much of a problem.
Bruce enters the ring, and Morgan Smythe explains the rules to both men. Richards takes off his duster, and hands it over the top rop to Fleming at ringside.
And Darko takes advantage, striking while Bruce’s back is turned. Chop block to the knee! As Bruce falls, Smythe calls for the bell, and shouts at Darko
for taking such an underhanded first shot. Bruce is on the mat, clutching the knee, but Darko pulls the leg of Richards and drapes it over the bottom rope,
kicking it a few times for good measure. He climbs out of the ropes, and throws a leg drop on the leg of Bruce onto the bottom rope.
BILL HEWSON: The nerve of that Darko!
REX CALIBER: He’s taking his spots as he sees them, Bill!
Bruce pulls himself up by the ropes, and Darko slides back in the ring, running at the champion. RUNNING DDT! Bruce’s head hits the mat, and Darko runs
at the ropes for Just Perfection. Cover by Darko! One! T- kickout by Bruce, weakly. Darko picks up the stunned Richards, and delivers Laid Out Number Two,
driving the face of Bruce into the canvas. Bruce gets up, angered, but Darko has hightailed it out of Richards’ sight. Bruce looks around. Darko’s crouched
outside the ring, and slides back in as stealthy as he can. Bruce whips around, furious, and runs at Darko, with a clothesline, and Darko ducks, grabbing
the head of the champ, and pulling down! Bruce falls backwards onto the mat again, and Darko rakes the eyes. Morgan Smythe with a warning. Darko gets off
Bruce, and Bruce is punching at air, temporarily blinded. Bruce stands up, and Darko runs at him, flying into the air and over Bruce’s head. OVER AND OUT!
Darko scrambles for a cover. One! Two!
And Bruce Richards throws Darko off his chest WITH AUTHORITY! Darko rolls to the apron of the ring.
REX CALIBER: Oh, god. Bruce is going to kill him.
The crowd senses this too. “THE BEAST IS GOING TO KILL YOU!” Darko looks around, a little bewildered. He grabs the arm of Richards, and tries to whip him
to the ropes. But Bruce stays still, pulling Darko towards him. SPINEBUSTER! Darko writhes in pain on the mat, and Bruce picks him up by the back of the
neck, throwing him over his shoulders. Torture Rack makes Darko scream! And Bruce keeps on applying pressure to the back of Prince Darko. But he doesn’t
seem satisfied. He stops the rack, throwing Darko over his shoulder. Powerslam onto the mat! Bruce covers, but picks up Darko after Smythe counts one.
He’s nowhere near done. He suplexes Darko, and throws him to the ground with a pumphandle. Darko rolls out of the ring, and he’s done with this match.
The crowd boos, but Darko could care less. He’s outta here. But he tries to leave with the NAPW title. Frank Warburton is arguing with him, as Bruce glares
at Darko in the ring. Bruce has had enough. He runs at the ropes, and flies over them, launching himself at Darko. Suicide Plancha into the guardrails!
And the crowd? They go kumquat!
“THE BEAST IS GOING TO KILL YOU!”
BILL HEWSON: Once again, taking no heed of his own safety, Bruce Richards sacrifices himself to make Darko hurt even more!
REX CALIBER: Take it from me, when two hundred and seventy pounds come over the top rope and decide to make you their cushion? It’s no picnic!
Richards shoves Darko underneath the bottom rope. He climbs the turnbuckles, and it’s a top-rope moonsault! Darko is squashed, and Smythe counts. One! Two!
Bruce sits up, shaking his head. He eyes flash red. He’s not done yet. He picks up Darko once more, and Darko out of nowhere, desperately shoves his shoulder
into the gut of Bruce Richards. Bruce wasn’t expecting that, and folds up. Darko gets Bruce into position, kneeing him in the face. And he puts Bruce’s
head between his legs, trying to pull him up for the Zamunda Driver! But Bruce hollers, and whips up, throwing Prince Darko over his head. Darko gets up.
Clothesline! Darko gets up a bit slower and more groggily. Clothesline! Darko wearily gets up, holding his finger in the air as if to say, “Did someone
get the license plate of that tru- CLOTHESLINE! Darko’s not getting back up, but Bruce just pulls him up by the scruff of his neck. Darko is pulled onto
the shoulders of the champion. CHART ATTACK! And Bruce Richards covers as the crowd counts along.
One!
Two!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Your winner, and still NAPW World champion! BRUCE RICHARDS!
Bruce looks down at the battered Darko, and smiles. He looks straight into the camera recording this for the purposes of DVD production, and says, “Astros.
You’re next.” Fleming joins Bruce, giving him his belt and gambler’s hat. And as they walk out of the building, Bruce slaps the hands of every fan who
rushes to the barricade. Darko? He’s being attended to by Morgan Smythe outside the ring.
BILL HEWSON: For a few minutes, I thought Prince Darko might actually have the number of the World Champion, but WOW. Something came loose inside of Bruce
Richards and he truly became THE BEAST!
REX CALIBER: Darko’s a future world champ, Hewson, don’t you think otherwise. Tonight ain’t his night though.
——————————————————————————–
REX CALIBER: And thats when the stripper wiped off her chin and gave me my money back..
BILL HEWSON: I don’t know what to say.
REX CALIBER: In the words of Tupac… “I get around.”
BILL HEWSON: Anyways, the following contest pits four of the largest athletes in either fed, versus four guys who can legit tie you in a pretzel until you
scream uncle.
REX CALIBER: Tie me? You better think again Billy Bob… that shit don’t happen with the Rexcellence of Rexecution!
“When The Lights Go Out” begins to float into the ears of the jam packed Calgary crowd. Lloyd Rees enters the arena to a nice ovation. He don’t seem to
care one way or the other, just out here to do his thing which is WRESTLE!
FRANK WARBURTON: This is the final Ultimate Attrition match. Introducing first, from Wabana, Bell Island, Newfoundland, THE TECHNICAL TERROR! LDK! LLOYD
REES!
Marilyn Manson plays “This is the New Shit”, as one of the newest stars of REBEL enters the ringside area. Adam Davis is mostly booed, as his reputation
travels further than he thought.
FRANK WARBURTON: Next, from Detroit, Michigan, he is THE ICEMAN! ADAM DAVIS!
TWINKLE TWINKLE! And one of the hottest superstar on the Indy circuit walks out. Dez Carter wants desperately to make a man GO TO SLEEP! The size of his
opponents might make that a bit hard to do. The fans all stand up to give this man his due. He has no Asuka tonight, and probably is better off leaving
her in the back.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, DEZ CARTER!
“Path” by Apocalyptica and the crowd explodes as the former NAPW Champ walks out. He was the longest reigning champion of any NAPW Champion, ever. He marches
to the ring with purpose.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Brooklyn, New York, the captain of THE SHOOTERS…THIS IS RAVAGER!
The four men don’t really have a lot of love for the others. Fist bumps do go around in effort to at least for one night, be a unit. Then…
ATTACK!
KRENSHOV walks to the ring with a great ovation. He steps over the top rope… might be a trend.
FRANK WARBURTON: The first of their opponents, from Middletown, New Jersey… KRENSHOV!
“Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins blares through the speakers, and to a mixed reaction comes Dan Ryan.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Houston, Texas… THE EGO BUSTER! DAN RYAN!
“Bring Da Ruckus” by the Wu-Tang Clan and out comes the very disliked man, no matter where he goes, Murcielago. Enzo is with him as they make their way
to the crowded ring.
FRANK WARBURTON: From Manhattan, New York, he is MURCIELAGO!
BILL HEWSON: Any opinion on what this man has recently said about you?
REX CALIBER: That overgrown prick will get his… all in due time!
BILL HEWSON: You know something I don’t?
REX CALIBER: I know A LOT of things you don’t know Billy, but that might be a good thing for you.
Ravager tells his team mates that he wants to start the match. His partners take positions on the outside. As Faith No More cranks up and crowd begin to
boo heavily, out walks Jake Phoenix.
FRANK WARBURTON: And finally, the final member of the BMF team, the captain… from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, THE MURDER CITY DEVIL… JAKE PHOENIX!
He enters the ring, as Ravager is waiting for him, and the bell sounds. The rest of BMF gets comfy on the ring apron as Ravager starts chopping away on
the big man. Phoenix unloads with some rights and lefts of his own. The two men are going at it like a bare knuckled brawl. Ravager shoots and gets the
big man down. They roll around wailing on each other with punches. They roll to the outside. Morgan Smythe starts counting both men out. Ravager gets his
head smashed into the guardrail. TWO! Ravager blocks another attempt at it, and elbows Phoenix in the stomach. Their partners just look on as the hatred
spews from each man. THREE! Phoenix gets drop toe hold into the ring post. FOUR! Ravager tries whipping Phoenix into the railing, but is reversed. FIVE!
Ravager hits hard, and Phoenix nails a big boot, sending Ravager over the railing. SIX! Phoenix follows him out and SEVEN! These men are brawling through
the crowd. EIGHT! They near the front concession area. NINE! Security surrounds the two men as TEN!
FRANK WARBURTON: Via a countout, Ravager and Jake Phoenix are BOTH eliminated!
REX CALIBER: What the hell?
BILL HEWSON: They are getting separated and taken to the back. Adam Davis hops into the ring, as does Murcielago.
As the stunned crowd refocuses, Adam and Murc circle the ring, and they tie up. Murc shoves down Adam Davis and then poses like he is Lex Luger, minus the
drugs and horrible gimmicks. Adam shakes it off, and pops his neck. They try it again, but this time before they lock up Adam gets his thumb in the eye
of Murc. Murc winces and holds his eye… DROP KICK FROM DAVIS! The big man is down. Adam wastes little time, and starts working over the knee of Murc.
Murcielago is close to his corner and uses his height advantage to tag in Dan Ryan. Dan Ryan nails a high knee lift to the chin of Adam Davis.
REX CALIBER: All of these men, minus Murcielago, have World title potential.
BILL HEWSON: I think he does too…
REX CALIBER: You “thinking” is as bad as me driving drunk… it’s dangerous!
Dan Ryan picks up Adam, who punches as hard as he can in the stomach of Dan Ryan. Adam whips the big man into the ropes and on the rebound… GETS CLOTHESLINED
OUT OF HIS BOOTS. Dan smiles, still trying to catch his breath. Dan slings Adam into the corner, and slaps the chest of KRENSHOV! Kenny doesn’t seem to
like the method of tagging, and lets Dan know. Dan tells him to do his job. KRENSHOV seems to be pissed now and unloads several elbows to the head of the
prone Adam Davis. KRENSHOV whips Adam into the opposite corner. LDK tags himself in, and gets on the top rope. KRENSHOV gets taken down with a missile
DROP KICK FROM LDK! Rees lands a knee to the small of the huge back of KRENSHOV! The Shooters seem to be using their technical skills to work over body
parts, and with their opponents size, that is the best strategy. Rees gets a knee in the back of Kenny, and grabs a chinlock too, further stressing the
back. Kenny gets closer to the ropes, as he tries to hang on. He gets to the ropes, and Rees releases the hold on Smythe’s count of three. Rees goes up
top and FRESH WATER FLIP… FAILS! Kenny moves out of the way!
REX CALIBER: Come on REES! Once a Crime always a Crime! Gotta do better than that, man!
BILL HEWSON: Does that mean you still consider Cash, David Banks, and Murcielago, Crimes?
REX CALIBER: CALL THE GOD DAMN MATCH!
KRENSHOV rises like a monster from the Abyss, and sees Rees with the wind knocked out of him. Rees tries getting up, but Kenny pulls Rees up and FALL AWAY
SLAM! Rees lands near his corner and Dez Carter tags in. Dez doesn’t go in there full steam ahead, but slows it down a bit. KRENSHOV looks at Dez and then
goes near his corner and SLAPS Dan Ryan across the face, making a tag? Yes, Morgan calls it a tag and Dan Ryan is PISSED. He enters the ring, and tries
to nail Kenny, but from behind, Dez Carter with A ROARING ELBOW to the back of Dan Ryan’s head. Dan goes down to one knee and Dez kicks the shit out of
Dan Ryan’s head. THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
NO CIGAR!
REX CALIBER: Dan Ryan isn’t going down that easy. Though I heard his mother..
BILL HEWSON: DON’T!
Dez wastes little time, and tries for his Inverted Cravate Cross Face. Dan Ryan blocks it, and gets Dez set up for a RELEASE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! Dez
might have had like four seconds of hang time before landing on the mat. Dan Ryan is amped up. He picks up Dez, and slings him into the ropes… SPINE
ON THE PINE! AA style Spine Buster! The cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THRE- NOT YET! Dan Ryan tags out to Murcielago, and Dan eyeballs KRENSHOV! The two try to stay calm, as they stand near each other on the ring apron!
Murcielago gets Dez Carter into position and GERMAN SUPLEX! Dez folds up like an accordion. Murcielago might be looking to finish Dez off after he took
three devastating power moves in a row. Murcielago gets Dez up… DEFCON ONE!
REX CALIBER: Hey Frank, give me your mic for a second.
BILL HEWSON: What the hell are you doing?
Rex gets on the house mic.
REX CALIBER: HEY, MISTER BAD MOTHER FUCKER! You been talking a bunch of shit lately, and your trying to ruffle some feathers aren’t you? You trying to make
name for yourself off the legacy of ME! Well, you might need to stop talking and start wrestling cause at Mayhem in Mexico, I heard through the grapevine
you are wrestling the Legendary MISTER MEXICO!
Murcielago is cussing and looks pissed off by Rex’s antics. DEZ CARTER FROM BEHIND… ROLL UP ON MURC!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Murcielago has been ELIMINATED!
Murcielago exits the ring and goes toward the announce table. Security holds Murcielago back. Rex takes off his fur coat and sunglasses.
REX CALIBER: LET HIS ASS GO, AND I’LL FUCK HIM UP WORSE THAN AIDS!
Murcielago is screaming as they take him to the back to the roar of the crowd. A “”FUCK HIM UP REX” chant goes through out the arena.
BILL HEWSON: Sit down Rex, the action in the ring is still going on. I can’t believe you just did that. You interfered with a match!
REX CALIBER: That son of a bitch had it coming. I HATE THAT MOTHER FUCKER!
The action is indeed going on. KRENSHOV enters the ring, and goes after Dez Carter. Carter is thrown into a neutral corner, and RUNNING CORNER SPLASH! KRENSHOV
backs out and ANOTHER SPLASH! Dez Carter walks about four foot out, and lands face first on the mat. Who is he? Ric Flair? Kenny picks up Dez and goes
for a Vertical Suplex, but Dez gets free and lands behind the big man. School boy from Dez!
ONE!
TWO!
Dez gets thrown off, and lands a few feet away. Dez goes to his corner and tags in Adam Davis. Davis and applies the GRAVE PAIN move to KRENSHOV. The one
legged elevated Boston crab is causing much pain to Kenny’s already worked over back. Davis is near his corner and Rees tags in. Davis goes into full crab
mode, and Rees… he just applies a CAMEL CLUTCH! Davis is made to leave the ring. Rees cranks on the move. He lets go for a second, stands up then drops
down hard on the back of Kenny. Kenny is trying to get to the ropes as Rees reapplies the hold. Rees lets go, and tags in Dez Carter. Carter gets the big
mans legs and SHARPSHOOTER ON KRENSHOV! The crowd eats this up! KRENSHOV is yelling out in pain, and Dan Ryan just looks on. Kenny tries to pull himself
to the ropes. Dez Carter has it locked on good though, but Kenny is inching. KRENSHOV is a mere two inches away from the ropes reaching his finger tips.
He makes one more effort and…
BILL HEWSON: KRENSHOV IS IN THE ROPES!
REX CALIBER: That man is the hottest wrestler in REBEL. No way he is tapping to some NAPW guy.
BILL HEWSON: That NAPW guy is one of the hottest guys in NAPW.
Dez lets go and tags in Rees again. Rees is the one who started the “work Kenny’s back” thing. He stays to it too, and buries a knee near the spine of KRENSHOV.
Kenny however is getting cheered good, and is feeding off of it. Kenny gets to one knee and Rees forearm smashes the big mans back. KRENSHOV is running
on killer instinct and gets up to his feet. Rees is smashed with a boot as he tried bouncing off the ropes to nail Kenny with a clothesline. Kenny goes
over to tag in Dan Ryan who is hesitant then accepts. Dan Ryan enters the ring, and is quickly drop kicked in the knee. Dan Ryan is down, and Rees applies
the LANCE COVE LEG LOCK! Dan Ryan quickly gets to the ropes. He tags KRENSHOV back in quickly.
BILL HEWSON: KRENSHOV barely had any time to recover.
REX CALIBER: That Lance Cove Leg Lock is devastating, even if just on for three seconds.
KRENSHOV is going into super pissed mode and kicks the hell out of Rees. KRENSHOV applies a bear hug to Rees, and smashes him into the ground with it. The
crowd roars as KRENSHOV IS MADDER THAN HELL! Dan Ryan might have just motivated this man enough to take out the entire Shooters Team. KRENSHOV ignores
the back pain and picks Rees up… TOTAL ECLIPSE ON LLOYD REES!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
FRANK WARBURTON: Lloyd Rees has been ELIMINATED!
REX CALIBER: KRENSHOV is on fire!
Adam Davis enters the ring and BIG BOOT TO DAVIS’ FACE! KRENSHOV throws Davis to his corner, and FOREARM SMASH! Davis slumps into the corner, and Dan Ryan
enters the ring. He picks up the dazed Davis and spins him around for a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Adam is in a bad way. Dan Ryan stalks him. Adam is begging
him off, and nails a low blow that Morgan Smythe couldn’t see. Adam goes to his corner and tags in the super charged Dez Carter. Dez fires off with some
palm strikes to the chest of Dan Ryan. Dan is backed into a neutral corner. Dez Carter lets go with several Martial Arts kicks, and a fury of punches.
Dan Ryan is trying to cover up. Dez Carter gets on the second ropes and rains down with several blows to the head. The crowd is counting. Four! Five! Six!
Seven! Dan Ryan places his hands under the legs of Dez…
HE HAS DEZ UP! LIFTS HIM!
HUMILTY BOMB! HUMILITY BOMB!
Ryan can’t immediately cover, Dez Carter literally ended up in the ropes from the impact. Ryan pulls Dez over and covers, that’s all ONE, TWO, Davis makes
the save to keep the odds even! There’s no way Dez Carter was going to kick-out, but nonetheless.
Ryan is frustrated and tags in KRENSHOV. Dan tells Kenny to “Finish my light work.”
Davis wants in there, wanting some payback from before. KRENSHOV allows Dez to make the tag to Davis as Dan Ryan yells out in anger. KRENSHOV plays by his
own rules, and no one else’s. Davis enters the ring and charges at Kenny. Kenny goes for a big boot, but Davis slides under the leg. He gets up behind
the big man. SIDE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! The cover!
ONE!
TWO!
AND THATS ALL. KRENSHOV GETS A SHOULDER UP!
REX CALIBER: These men are going all out!
BILL HEWSON: This is an event filled with pride, and no one should feel bad about their effort.
KRENSHOV gets up as does Adam Davis. Davis’ attempt at a superkick is blocked and CHOKESLAM ON DAVIS! The cover!
ONE!
TWO!
FOOT ON THE ROPES!
KRENSHOV is frustrated now, and throws Davis into his corner once again. Dan Ryan is tagged in and he gets a chance to punish the REBEL star more. DRAGON
SUPLEX ON ADAM DAVIS! THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
DEZ CARTER IN FOR THE SAVE!
Dan Ryan grabs Dez Carter! THE HEADLINER ON DEZ CARTER!
Dan Ryan tags in KRENSHOV! KRENSHOV nails Davis who turns and gets nailed by Dan Ryan. Adam Davis’ ego is being busted right now. Davis tries to swing back,
KRENSHOV holds Davis and Dan Ryan measures him… CLOTHESLINE ON DAV—HE DUCKED KENNY KRENSHOV IS NAILED WITH A HELLACIOUS CLOTHESLINE! KRENSHOV GOES…
REX CALIBER: KRENSHOV DOESN’T GO DOWN!
BILL HEWSON: The two behemoths are arguing and Dan Ryan just shoved KRENSHOV!
KRENSHOV shoves Dan back, show retaliates with another shove, but this one helps Davis get a school boy…
ONE!
TWO!
FEET ON THE ROPES, BUT FORTUNATELY FOR DAVIS… THEY’RE HIS, AND MORGAN SMYTHE DON’T SEE THEM!
FRANK WARBURTON: KRENSHOV HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
Dan Ryan just shakes his head and walks off, as KRENSHOV is in the middle of the ring cursing like a drunk Rex Caliber. Dan Ryan is leaving the ringside
area. Morgan Smythe issues her count as KRENSHOV heads to the back in chase of Dan Ryan! The count reaches EIGHT, with no sign of Ryan… NINE…TEN!
REX CALIBER: Dan Ryan just walked out of the match.
FRANK WARBURTON: Dan Ryan has been counted out, the winners of the match…THE SHOOTERS!
REX CALIBER: Lots of issues coming out of this match. Adam Davis has a legit case for a shot at KRENSHOV’S Number One Contenders Cup.
BILL HEWSON: Dez Carter doing a great job surviving tonight as well. Ravager and Phoenix took another ugly turn tonight, brawling all the way to the back,
with security trying to hold them a part.
REX CALIBER: Dan Ryan let his team down, but him and KRENSHOV got off on the wrong foot early.
BILL HEWSON: Lloyd Rees had a good effort tonight, but even he couldn’t withstand a very angry KRENSHOV! But one question remains, who is Mr. Mexico?
REX CALIBER: Wouldn’t YOU like to know!
——————————————————————————–
It’s intermission before the main event, but suddenly… a pissed-off Ravager hits the ring and grabs the mic away from Warburton.
RAVAGER: Jake. This is not going to end well. You know this. I know this. Everyone seems to know this. This thing we have? Is going to eat at us until one
of us is dead. I’d have no problem putting you in the ground Jake. Just like you’d probably enjoy tossing a shovel full of dirt onto my coffin. But that’s
not good for wither of us, is it? And it’s not good for the NAPW. We keep this up much longer, and it’ll tear this whole company apart. We’ll destroy everyone
in our way just to get at each other. And I’ve given too much for this company to let it be destroyed by our hate. So here’s the thing Jake.
It’s time for one of us to go.
We end this at Black Thursday. They gave us No Holds Barred, because they want there to be a winner. But I think whoever loses? Should pack up. Go home.
Loser leaves town, Jake. If you got the sack to accept, I’ll put my career on the line just to get you the Hell out of my life. And if you say no?
This thing we got will just keep going. And it will end with me standing over your lifeless body. And I would hate to have that on my conscience. So please
Jake.
ACCEPT.
Ravager tosses down the mic and exits the ring, leaving behind a somewhat stunned crowd.
BILL HEWSON: Ravager wants Loser Leaves Town against Jake Phoenix? Will Jake accept? This night is just full of surprises!
——————————————————————————–
FRANK WARBURTON: It is now time for the NAPW/REBEL Supershow MAINNNNN EVENNNNNT! Introducing first…
Darkness. Silence, other than the buzz of the crowd.
“Do not attempt to adjust the picture.”
The first guitar riff from “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour blares over the PA.
“We will control the horizontal.”
Guitar riff #2.
“We will control the vertical.”
BAM. Living Color kicks in full-force and Donovan Astros steps through the curtain to a torrent of boos, ready to go in his “walk of fame” tights. No jacket.
No smirk today. Astros looks angry, unhappy and even disgusted. He glares at a fan giving him hell on his way down the aisle, shaking his head.
FRANK WARBURTON: Introducing first! From Los Angeles California, he weighs in at two hundred and twenty-seven pounds… the self-proclaimed “best wrestler
on God’s Green Earth” … ladies and gentlemen, he is DONOVAN ASTROOOOOOOOS!
Astros wipes his feet on the ring apron and steps through the ropes. He raises his arms and then hits his corner, fixing his glare on the entrance curtain…
“I AM THE MAN!”
And even surprisingly, considering the way the man left almost a year ago… THE CROWD GOES RAISIN. The smooth, soulful (and annoying) sounds of Philosopher
Kings crank up and out comes the only man possibly arrogant enough to come out to their track “I Am The Man.” He is wearing his classic green tights and
wearing the old “Man With The Blood On His Hands” t-shirt. And of course, the heavy gold REBEL world title belt around his waist. Roberts takes his time
on the way to ring, no doubt trying to make Donovan Astros impatient.
FRANK WARBURTON: And his opponent! Making his wrestling RETURN to an NAPW ring tonight, from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, he weighs in at two-hundred and fifty-seven
pounds! The reigning REBEL World Heavyweight champion and former 5-time NAPW Tag team champion, ladies and gentlemen, he is STYLIN’ KYLE ROBERRRRRRRTS!
BILL HEWSON: A match that has been in the making for the entire fall of 2007! This entire issue began when Kyle Roberts was the guest referee for Donovan
Astros vs The Beast, when The Beast won the NAPW world title. Astros blamed Roberts, and since then these two men have travelled from Alberta to Carolina
to get at each other!
REX CALIBER: Well Astros is alright by me, the guy’s a jerk but he cost Kyle Roberts the REBEL world title, that makes him awesome in my book.
BILL HEWSON: Astros the man responsible for Chad Kurtis’ controversial title win against Roberts, but Roberts struck back, laying Donovan out with the ring
bell last month at the “Aces High” event. Each man was banned from the other’s promotion after that. Roberts won the REBEL title back just last week at
REBEL Pro Wrestling’s “Merrytime Massacre” card, and that brings us to this match, right here, right now in Calgary, the first ever meeting of Stylin’
Kyle Roberts and Donovan Astros! And this match is why all these fans are here tonight, and the atmosphere is electric!
Roberts fakes out entering the ring, then chooses to circle ringside, high-fiving fans. If only because it makes his own ego bigger. He shakes hands with
a surprised and distrusting Hewson, then winks at a fuming Rex Caliber. Those two will never be friends again.
And Astros has had it! Slingshot over the top rope right onto Kyle Roberts! Whoa! Astros wipes out Kyle and sends some right hands into his face, then rolls
his man into the ring. Kiebiech rings the bell as Astros enters and Roberts vs Astros is OFFICIAL.
Astros arguably the better brawler, letting off his frustration into the face of Stylin’ Kyle Roberts. He picks up the REBEL belt, which has fallen on the
canvas, and holds it above his head like he’s the champion. The crowd gives him hell for that. Astros then holds the belt up like a weapon, ready to splat
Roberts, but Kiebiech tells him he’ll call the DQ right away!
BILL HEWSON: This match isn’t REBEL rules, although Astros is an NAPW superstar, he should know that!
REX CALIBER: Just another example of NAPW management continues the proud tradition of holding its best superstars down!
BILL HEWSON: A tradition started by yourself, of course, all spring and summer long in NAPW. And if the lack of REBEL rules hurts anybody, it’s Stylin’
Kyle Roberts, the REBEL World Champion… but we all know he doesn’t need weapons to break Donovan Astros!
REX CALIBER: Oh, sure, take his side.
Astros slaps on a side headlock now to keep Kyle down, wrenching it in — Kyle counters with a back suplex! Astros laid out. Kyle is up, gives a grin to
the fans and then takes Astros by the hair. “I’m going to dropkick him in the FACE.” Roberts pulls Astros up, measures him… then leaps up and dropkicks
him in the face.
BILL HEWSON: He’s an arrogant, presumptuous son of a bitch, but he’s at least straight with people!
Kyle points to his head, reminding the fans and indeed Astros that he is “SMARTER THAN YOU.” Roberts goes to pick Astros up again, ooh, an eye gouge from
Astros halts that. Astros with a stiff shot to the abs of Roberts and then an irish whip, Astros follows in and Kyle flips over Astros’ kneelift. Astros
with a SOCCER KICK to the spine of Roberts back, followed up by MY FAVORITE MOVE, the Mr. Perfect rolling necksnap! Astros pulls Kyle’s forehead down to
the canvas and it SNAPS back, Kyle looking in pain. Astros makes the first cover of the match, gets a two count, lots of wrestling left to be had. That’s
okay, Astros doesn’t want Kyle’s pain to end YET.
Donovan Astros the aggressor, backs Kyle into the ropes and CHOPS him in the chest. That’s not good enough. Astros rips off the t-shirt, revealing the HAIRY,
HORRIBLY HAIRY chest of Kyle Roberts.
REX CALIBER: I swear his dad was Chewbacca and his mum was sasquatch!
BILL HEWSON: Well, I’d say “will you be serious” but Roberts could make a rug out of all that body hair…
REX CALIBER: The girls like a smooth man, Hewson. And when I say smooth, I mean EVERYWHERE.
BILL HEWSON: …can I please have Jack back?
Astros CHOPS the hairy chest of Roberts. You can’t very well call it a “bare” chest. Maybe a “bear” chest. Astros gets some good impact but ROBERTS HAS
A NATURAL BUFFER. Also, Astros looks somewhat grossed out by the feel of all that scratchy hair against his hand. He goes to chop again, thinks twice of
it, and punches Kyle straight in the face. Kiebiech warns about a closed fist, brushed off by Astros. Irish whip into the corner, Roberts reverses! Charge
in, Astros catches the man with a drop toe-hold, sending Kyle face first into the bottom turnbuckle. And now it’s Astros turn to point to his head, mocking
Kyle’s “SMARTER THAN YOU” routine to some mega heel-heat. He grabs the top rope and puts his boot against the back of Kyle’s head, just mashing the REBEL
champ’s face into the bottom turnbuckle. Ref counts one, two, three, four, Astros breaks.
Roberts pulls himself up chest-first against the turnbuckle, Astros decides it’s time to hit a STINGER SPLASH — nobody home! Donovan staggers out of the
corner as Roberts unloads another dropkick to the face! That floors Astros, but he’s right back up to be DROPKICKED down again, Astros gets up again, a
third DROPKICK and this time Astros stays down! Roberts pumps his fists, then covers Astros for a two-count. Roberts pulls his man up and grabs a hammerlock,
twisting Astros’ arm behind his back. Forearm shivers into the lower back of Astros, softening the man up for the BEAR-TAMER. Hammerlock back suplex! That’ll
hurt the arm and the back! Roberts building some momentum, backbreaker. He grabs Astros’ arms from behind and drives his foot between the shoulder blades
for a standing surfboard stretch! Astros shakes his head “no,” he’s not giving up…
BILL HEWSON: There’s nothing more that Kyle Roberts would like than to win this match with the Bear-Tamer and get the submission victory.
REX CALIBER: Well I hate the damn man, but the Bear-Tamer is one painful damn move and Astros needs to avoid it all costs. But don’t forget about Astros’
own submission moves, it might be Kyle tapping out tonight. Hell, I know I’d love to see that.
Kyle breaks the hold, then drives the knee into the back. Astros is trying to get up, Kyle there to take control with a cravate. He snapmares Astros down,
then hits his own soccer kick to Astros’ lower back. The crowd “OOOHS” in sympathy at the sound of that, then cheers because they love seeing Astros get
his. Astros to his feet. Kyle Roberts unloads his own chops, then sends Astros into the corner. Roberts climbs up and begins the TEN PUNCH COUNTALONG!
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN!
And one to grow on.
Kyle gets off. Astros looks punch-drunk. He takes one, two, three steps out and then promptly flops straight on his face to a thunderous ovation. Roberts
hooks the leg ONE TWO KICKOUT. Not yet, no way. Roberts picks up Astros and chops him some. Astros is allowed to stagger out into the ring, and that’s
when he gets booted in the gut. Kyle flips over the doubled-over Astros and NAILS the Polar-izer! That puts the man in perfect position for the
LIONSAULT!
ONE!
TWO!
TH—Astros kicks out!
Roberts is okay with that though, he quickly grabs the legs! BEAR-TAMER! Roberts trying to turn Astros over, Donovan is fighting, but he can’t for much
longer! Roberts has it locked on! COULD DONOVAN ASTROS TAP?
REX CALIBER: COME ON ASTROS MAKE THE ROPES!
BILL HEWSON: You’re so unbiased. Roberts has Astros locked into the Bear-Tamer, but Astros is fighting — but how much can he take?
REX CALIBER: Enough to shut you up!
Roberts yelling fiercely, he wants this, but… Astros is able to crawl and grab the bottom rope. Kyle doesn’t actually want to let go and Kiebiech starts
counting one, two, three, four, finally he does. Astros holds the bottom rope for dear life, like it will make the hurting stop. Roberts wants more, but
Kiebiech tells him to let the man get out of the ropes. Kyle almost shoves the ref but thinks twice about it. Fine. Kiebiech talks to Astros, are you okay
ROBERTS BASEBALL SLIDE!
Astros sent out to the floor. Roberts, still in the ring, taunts Astros and raises his arms. “WHO’S THE MAN?” “YOU ARE”! the crowd replies. Astros trying
to get back in, Roberts grabs a handful of hair and pulls LOW BLOW. Astros with a low blow, the ref didn’t see it! Astros drops to the floor, then trips
Kyle up. He doesn’t pull him out, though, instead pulls Kyle towards the ring post… CROTCHED. Kyle pulled crotch-first into the ring post but that’s
not all Astros has planned for the post. He pretzels Kyle’s legs and applies the RING-POST FIGURE FOUR!
BILL HEWSON: Astros has to be careful not to get disqualified but Roberts is in a hugely painful predicament! My goodness!
REX CALIBER: That just goes to show that Donovan Astros has studied the best, and can wrestle like the best! He’s ten times the wrestler Kyle Roberts is
with his stupid Bear-Tamer!
BILL HEWSON: A move you yourself admitted hurts like crazy!
REX CALIBER: I ain’t never said that, you’re crazy!
Kiebiech tells Astros “if you don’t let go I’m counting you out!” He’s up to seven when Astros finally lets go, but the damage may be done. Astros lets
go and picks himself up, snarling at the fans before sliding in before the ten. Roberts is trying to extricate himself from the ring-post, gingerly, and
that’s when Astros begins STOMPING THE SHIT out of his leg. STOMP STOMP STOMP. Kiebiech telling Astros to get out of the corner one two three four five
ASTROS! Donovan stops just before a possible DQ, then smirks at Kiebiech. He pulls Kyle out of the corner and works the knee, dropping several elbows on
it. Then, he lets Kyle… get up?
Roberts on a weak knee to his feet, Astros makes to come in and nail it, Roberts tries to block, and that’s all Astros needs to grab Kyle by the head and
ASTROLABE DDT the man into the canvas. Roberts is planted and Astros sits up. And for the first time in the match, his cocky grin has re-appeared. He takes
his time, then throws an arm over Kyle for ONE, TWO, kick-out. Lazy cover there, but Astros doesn’t seem to care. He doesn’t want to win it that way. Kyle
is trying to pull himself up by the ropes, and Astros says nah. He hooks the man and delivers a beautiful Butterfly Suplex, straight overhead. Roberts
hits the canvas hard and that’s when Donovan Astros unveils his hand.
By grabbing Kyle’s legs and turning him over for the BEAR-TAMER.
BILL HEWSON: His own move! Stylin’ Kyle’s own move and Astros has it locked on the man! Donovan Astros doesn’t want to just beat Kyle Roberts, he wants
to beat him with his OWN MOVE!
REX CALIBER: OH YEAHHHH!
BILL HEWSON: The Bear-Tamer hurts the back most of all, but it’s bad on the legs, and with the damage Astros has done to Kyle’s legs, this could be over
right here! Kyle’s only hope is to make the ropes!
Roberts is in a world of hurt! Astros cinching back, especially focusing on the one knee with his grip, and Kyle is far from the ropes. He reaches out,
then yells in pain, pulling back. His face tells the story. Kyle looks like he might tap out, his hand hovering above the mat, shaking…
No! He bites his knuckles against the pain, and then begins crawling, scratching. Roberts getting some distance, Astros having a hard time keeping his grip…
Kyle almost there… almost there… GETS THE BOTTOM ROPE! Astros won’t let go though, one, two, three, four, five, Astros finally lets go. Kiebiech gets
right in Astros’ face, warning him to stop pushing the limits. Astros sneers in his face. “What are you going to DoooOO—*” SCHOOL-BOY! ONE! TWO! Astros
gets out! And he’s PISSED! Thumb to Kyle’s eye! Astros, wait a minute what’s this? He’s going to the top rope! He’s got Kyle’s arm…
STEELE TOWER!
Astros covers!
ONE!
TWO!
TH—KICK-OUT!
And this time, Astros looks surprised. “What, are you kidding?” Kiebiech assures him it was two. Astros says whatever, and pulls Roberts up. It’s time to
end this. He hooks the arms from behind, ASTROCIDE — no, Kyle counters! HE STANDS UP — ASTROS IS UPSIDE DOWN! NO WAY!
VERTEBREAKER! VERTEBREAKER! ASTROS SMASHED INTO THE CANVAS!
BILL HEWSON: Kyle Roberts using Astros’ OWN Shockwave maneuver against him, countering Astrocide with his last strength!
REX CALIBER: But he can’t capitalize, Hewson, he DID use his last strength!
And the referee makes the standing ten count with both Kyle and Astros down on the canvas. ONE! TWO! THREE!
Ain’t nobody movin’.
FOUR! FIVE!
Astros twitches!
SIX!
Astros somehow getting to his feet, a groggy look on his face.
SEVEN!
EIGHT!
Kyle starts trying to get up!
NINE~!
SOMEHOW HE MAKES IT!
Kiebiech says both men are up, and this match continues! Astros comes in, throws a right hand, Kyle just absorbs it, trying to shake off the cobwebs! The
crowd is starting to get WHITE HOT! Astros with another right, BLOCKED —
FINGER POINT!
“YOUUUUUUUUU!”
BILL HEWSON: KYLE ROBERTS IS STYLIN’ UP!
REX CALIBER: This business is ruined forever.
Roberts UNLOADS! RIGHT HAND! RIGHT HAND! RIGHT HAND! Annnnnnd… RIGHT HAND! Astros goes down this time good, and it’s time for Kyle to try the Bear-Tamer
— but his leg gives out! He can’t do it! Astros rolls the man up, FEET ON THE ROPES ONE, TWO, TH—KIEBIECH SEES IT! No three-count there! Astros snarls
at Kiebiech and then grabs Roberts again COUNTERED! KYLE WITH THE MOOSE JAW DRIVER!
ON ONE LEG! He gets it!
ONE! TWO! THREE—
KICK-OUT!
Astros still has it in him! Kyle signals for the Emerald Fusion, it’s OVER! He pulls Astros into position, no, the leg gives out again! Kyle can’t hold
him up! Astros sweeps Kyle’s legs out from under him, GOING FOR THE BEAR-TAMER AGAIN! KYLE WON’T SURVIVE A SECOND TIME —
KYLE GETS AN INSIDE CRADLE!!!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!!!
FRANK WARBURTON: The winner of the match, STYLIN’ KYLE ROBERTS!
AND THE OGDEN GOES PURE GUAVA!
BILL HEWSON: ROBERTS DID IT! HE BEAT ASTROS! DONOVAN ASTROS GETS WHAT HE DESERVES!
REX CALIBER: I can’t believe it, man!
BILL HEWSON: Calgary believes it tonight!
Donovan Astros, quite frankly, looks ready to cry. He’s holding his head, an expression of shock on his face. One, two, three, just like that, and it’s
over. Roberts has a clean win on him. Roberts gets up with the ropes, limping on one leg, posing to the fans.
Wait, what’s this? He holds out a hand to Donovan Astros?
REX CALIBER: Bout time Roberts showed some class!
Astros looks at Kyle’s outstretched hand like it’s a dead raccoon. But that’s okay, because Kyle pulls the hand away and smoothes his hair out anyways.
“Yeah right.” Head tap. “SMARTER THAN YOU!” Astros lips tremble and he slides out of the ring, stalking up the rampway in a foul mood. Kyle takes the REBEL
title belt and holds it up high as the Calgary fans groove to “I AM THE MAN.”
BILL HEWSON: And against the former New & Improved D-X, Donovan Astros is 0-1! This is not the way he wanted to go into his world title match with The Beast
next week in Edmonton, not by a longshot! And we will see you next week at BLACK THURSDAY III! For Rex Caliber, this is Bill Hewson saying goodnight!
Kyle is enjoying the win as much as the law will allow.
Astros looks back once. He’s not happy.
Not happy at all.
What will happen next week in Edmonton?!