*****Guess Who’s Back?*****

A midnight blue convertible 1966 Chevrolet Corvette pulls into the parking lot. Stepping out from this sharp looking classic is none other than Rebel Pro Majority Owner, Larry Gordon. After nodding to the camera, he pulls a briefcase out of the car and steps into the building.

*****When The Cat Is Out, The Mice Will Play*****

There’s a quick shot change to inside Jeremy Gold’s office, which is probably good given the fact Simon is holding him up against the wall, and if we could see Simons face behind the mask he’s now wearing to cover up his mutilated face, we’re sure he looks pissed off.

Simon Kalis: You up and “recognized” a cardboard title?

Jeremy Gold: I thought it’d be fun! Entertaining!

Gold whimpers, Simon dropping him down.

Jeremy Gold: You gotta admit, it’s special.

Kalis slams the door on his way out, and Gold wipes the tears out of his eyes.

*****Bobby Lee versus Jimmy Henderson*****

The two meet up in the center of the ring for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, Jimmy wastes no time in walking Bobby into the corner and driving his leg into his stomach. Bobby keels over and Jimmy drives a forearm over his back, sending Bobby to his knees.

Pulling Bobby up by his hair, Jimmy throws a hard right hand to the side of the head that sends Bobby back to the mat. Jimmy, stalking him, pulls Bobby to his feet only to put him back down with a scoop slam followed up by a standing elbow drop into the sternum. Jimmy immediately goes for the cover.

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Jimmy gets to his feet, pulling Bobby to his feet and attempts a suplex, but Bobby quickly seizes the opportunity and goes for an inside cradle.

1!

KICK OUT!

Both men quickly get to their feet, but Jimmy is the quicker of the two and drives another forearm shot across the shoulders of Bobby. Getting him to his feet, Jimmy shoves Bobby into the ropes before whipping across the ring and trying for a clothesline that misses. Bobby bounces off the ropes again and tries for a cross body, but gets caught. Jimmy walks around the ring, show boating before sending Bobby to the mat with a fall away slam that sends him to the floor.

Jimmy heads to the outside of the ring, pulling Bobby to his feet and Irish whipping him into the steel steps. With Bobby momentarily subdued on the outside, Jimmy grabs the top half of the stairs and launches them over the top rope into the ring. He then proceeds to dig under the ring to find a set of trash cans, throwing both lids and one canister in the ring – the other he keeps for himself, stalking Bobby with it.

Bobby is crawling on the floor until Jimmy slams the trash can into his back, pulls him to his feet and then throws him into the ring. Jimmy starts to slide into the ring, but Bobby seizes the opportunity to grab the canister in the ring and dents it over Jimmy’s head. Jimmy wobbles for a second, Bobby takes another swing, this time with the bottom of the can. Jimmy falls onto his back and Bobby goes for the cover.

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

With Jimmy still on the mat, using the bottom rope as a spring board, Bobby begins stomping at his chest repeatedly. Bobby walks back over to the canister, waiting for Jimmy to get to his feet before swinging it like a baseball bat this time into the side of Jimmy’s head. Jimmy staggers but doesn’t fall. Bobby delivers a couple of hard right hands to Jimmy’s skull before running to the ropes but Jimmy is waiting with a boot to the face, killing all of Bobby’s momentum.

Jimmy grabs Bobby by the hair once more, walking him like a dog over to the steel steps in the ring. Jimmy stands on top and gets set to piledrive Bobby’s head into them. Struggling to get him upright, Jimmy finds himself on the receiving end of a back body drop onto the mat. Bobby quickly heads under the ring and pulls out a ladder, sliding it into the ring and climb back in himself afterward.

Jimmy tries to get to his feet, but Bobby slams the ladder into his back, sending Jimmy back down to the mat. Bobby stands the ladder up in the corner, while Jimmy is finally able to get to his feet. Jimmy secures the steel steps and as Bobby turns around, he gets caught in the face with them.

Jimmy pulls Bobby to his feet and delivers another forearm shot to the back that sends Bobby rolling across the mat. Jimmy stands Bobby back up and Irish whips him into the corner, but Bobby uses his momentum to climb the turnbuckle at a dead run, quickly turning around he comes off with a springboard 450 plancha. Both men appear to be spent.

Slowly to their feet. Jimmy, ever the opportunist, grabs one of the trash can lids and uses it to bat down Bobby before he can even finishing standing up. Jimmy shoves the referee out of the way before turning and grabbing the battered trash can still in the ring. With Jimmy’s back turned, Bobby grabs the trash can lid he just dropped and with authority, smashes it over Jimmy’s head.

BLOOD! WE GOT BLOOD! Welcome back Jimmy!

Bobby swings the canister lid a few more times before Jimmy finally falls to his back on the mat. Bobby, still with the lid, makes his way over to the ladder in the corner and begins to ascend. Jimmy rises to his feet and begins to ascend the other side of the ladder. Bobby pummels Jimmy with the trash can lid several more times.

Jimmy finally falls from the top of the ladder and Bobby is quick to reach the top tier of the ladder. Lobbing the canister lid onto Jimmy’s face from up top, Bobby comes off the the top of the ladder and lands awkwardly on Jimmy. Jimmy gets to his feet, Psycho Paraphenalia from Bobby Lee! Bobby Lee lays down next to Jimmy, then places Jimmy’s arm over him.

Linzi Martin: What the hell is he doing?

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Bobby Lee kicks out of his uhm.. Own stuff? Who knows, the point is he did so because there is a large Gray Alien at ringside now stalking him. Bobby Lee’s eyes are incredibly wide as he stares in horror at his arch nemesis, a genuine Zeti Reticuli alien. Who is also, oddly enough, drinking a can of Fecal Beagle’s and he looks at the can as if it “tastes like shit”.

Linzi Martin: Only in Philly.

Bobby Lee faints, and he falls right on top of Jimmy Henderson.

1!

2!

3!

* DING * DING * DING *

Jenny Jersey: Here is your winner… Bobby Lee!

The alien removes his mask, obviously to reveal it’s Loren N. Chill behind it. He laughs it off as he walks back up the entrance ramp.

Linzi Martin: So the point of this was to cost Bobby Lee the match, by making him win? These two were made for each other, I tell you.

*****So Wait, What Was This About?*****

We fade backstage and find Rupert The Kangaroo nodding as he looks over Virgil Keenan, who leans over the desk to stare Simon Kalis directly in the eyes.

Virgil Keenan: So? What’d you say?

Kalis leans back, cupping his hands over his belly and nodding.

Simon Kalis: You make an incredibly sound argument there Virgil. Rupert? What’d you think?

Gold perks up from the couch as Rupert seems to nod in agreement.

Simon Kalis: Consider it done. You and Wilds and Har-

Jeremy Gold: Wait you’re gonna ask the fucking kangaroo his opinion over me?

Virgil Keenan gets up, a sly smirk over his face as he nods to Simon and walks out. Rupert lights a cigarette and blows the smoke in Gold’s face.

Simon Kalis: He’s smarter than you are.

Gold buries his face in his hands as we fade to ringside…

*****Virgil Keenan versus Loren N. Chill*****

“We Are The End” by Alexisonfire hits and the crowd jumps to their feet.

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall and uhm. I guess, is for the REBEL Pro Curtain Jerker Championship by default!

Virgil Keenan steps out with a “WTF” look on his face, he obviously doesn’t want the Curtain Jerker title.

Linzi Martin: Luckily for him he only gets that title if he loses, which he probably doesn’t want to.

Keenan slides into the ring and accepts the mixed reaction from the crowd.

Then, “Let Me Prey” by Van Helsing’s Curse begins playing throughout as the arena is now engulfed in red overhead lights, the REBELTron now displays alien-like symbols and images. As the lights over the entranceway come on we can see what appears to be a dozen black-robed Yautjas (Predators, for those of you who never read the comics), some with masks, some without.

?

### CENTURIES HAD PASSED ###
### AND THE WORLD HAD CHANGED ###
### BUT IT KNEW THEY HAD NOT ###

### FIRST THEY WOULD TRY TO FIGHT ###

### THEN THEY WOULD TRY TO RUN ###

### AND THEN THEY WOULD PRAY ###

The maniacal laughter that was once Patient 4479 can be heard echoing through the arena.

### “LET US PRAY” ###

### NO! ###

### LET ME PREY ###

The Yautjas make their way down the aisle in pairs and begin to circle around the ring. Bobby Lee tries to scramble for a new place to hide but quickly retreats back into the ring, snatching up his riot shield and cautiously watching all sides of the ring.

Then, at the top of the entrance appears two more Yautja, one of which is completely decked out with battle-ready armor.

?

The two Yautja, Loren & Dennis, make their way down to the ring. Dennis gets down on all fours next to the ring apron and Loren uses his back as a step up. Once on the apron, Loren steps into the ring and the camera focuses on Bobby Lee who has appeared to literally soil his pants.

?

Loren moves in for an immediate strike, a flying lariat as he goes towards Keenan hard. He manages to hit Virgil Keenan in the face cleanly, but Virgil rolls with the move and shrugs it off before stepping back and watching Chill for the next strike. Keenan is on his feet and rushes towards Chill but Keenan throws a knee out and both their knees hit, Loren flips over, hitting the canvas hard. Virgil Keenan picks Chill by the neck and hip tosses him to the canvas before following it up with a well placed elbow drop to Chill’s throat. Seemingly calm, cool and collected as well in control.

Linzi Martin: Virgil really impresses me, you know. He came out of no where into REBEL Pro and really seems like a legitimate contender.

The camera catches Linzi looking around all shifty eyed around her, but alas she is still alone at the announcers table.

Linzi Martin: I concur.

Virgil back on his feet, but out of no where Loren Chill grabs him from behind and pulls him down with a school boy!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Linzi Martin: Odd one that Loren *censored* Chill isn’t he?

Keenan easily kicks out jusssst after the 2 count and he immediately gets to his feet. He hit’s a sudden snap suplex on Chill and immediately gets back to his feet and grabs The Curtain Jerker Champion by the legs. Chill tries to wiggle his legs out of Virgils grip but he can’t as Virgil locks in a sharpshooter, clenching it and applying immediate pressure. He wrenches the sharpshooter on Chill but he flat out refuses to give up, shaking his head vehemently. Virgil yells out to Loren to just “give up”.

Linzi Martin: Wait whoa!

Bobby Lee comes running out from backstage and Loren quickly taps out.

Linzi Martin: What the fu-

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match by submission… VIRGIL KEENAN!!!

Keenan seems bewildered but shrugs it off and has his hands raised nonetheless. Bobby Lee grabs the CJ Title and tries to run off with it but Chill leaps over the top rope and tackles Bobby Lee to the ground. They begin a scrap as Virgil walks back up the ramp, obviously content with another win under the belt.

Linzi Martin: I guess this means Loren retains his title uhm, yeah. It does. But… Oh shit.

Bobby Lee, with one end of the title, Loren, with the other. Both men rip it in half. Bobby Lee can’t believe it neither can Loren Chill, but Lee leaps into the crowd and on his way out.

Linzi Martin: Well to be fair folks, the belt was made out of cardboard and crayons.

Chill gives chase as we fade backstage.

Linzi Martin: My favourite part was how the entrances took longer than the actual match.

*****Just A Couple of Ideas*****

A knock on the door causes Simon to look up as Larry Gordon walks in, carrying his briefcase, Simon smirks.

Simon: “Trying to be all mysterious?”

Gordon laughs as he shakes his head.

Larry: “Not really, just some things I wanted to discuss with you.”

Larry sits down in front of the desk, allowing Simon to sit behind it, where he’s been this entire time.

Simon: “You know that camera is running and everyone wants to know how you are doing.”

Gordon nods.

Larry: “True and fact is that I’m doing fine. I could actually come back and run this company.”

Simon just stares, but Gordon quickly holds up his hand.

Larry: “But the fact is that the ratings are outrageous, you are doing an excellent job, and the profits are pouring in more than even I could have imagined. But there is one or two things I’d like to discuss.”

Gordon looks at Simon, who nods.

Larry: “Rebel Pro was based on hardcore wrestling.”

Simon nods his agreement, Gordon smiles.

Larry: “And while I love the middle rope idea of barbed wire, how about this…”

Gordon pulls out a drawing of a Rebel Pro ring. The ropes are all wrapped in barbed wire while the turnbuckles are covered in barbed wire as well. Simon looks down and smiles.

Simon: “Easily done Larry, but this can’t be the only reason you are here tonight.”

Gordon shakes his head.

Larry: “Its not Simon and unless you have another person in mind… I miss this business terribly and seeing as I’m in much better health…”

Simon nods, knowing exactly where Larry is going.

Larry: “The decision is totally up to you, I will not make it for you, but if you need an announcer then you’ve got one sitting across the desk from you right now. Could do a three man team or stick to just two; call is strictly up to you.”

Simon ponders this for a bit as we fade back to ringside.

****Mikey Massacre versus Jaice Wilds*****

“Animals” by Nickelback fills the arena and Jaice Wilds steps out of the entranceway before running a full sprint to the ring and sliding under the ropes. Quickly to his feet, he runs to one of the corners, climbing up to the middle turnbuckle and pointing to the crowd who give him a mixed reaction. Stepping up to the third turnbuckle, he does a backflip into the center of the ring and await’s the arrival of Mikey Massacre.

“Heavy Metal Machine” by Smashing Pumpkins hits the airwaves and the crowd jumps to their feet. Mikey Massacre appears at the entranceway, taking the time to let the déjà vu fully sink in before idly making his way down to the ring.

DING DING

Mikey drops the gun, collar and elbow tie up. Mikey with a wristlock into a hammerlock. He slaps the cheek of Jaice before releasing the hold. Jaice Wilds turns around charging at Mikey; drop toe hold and Jaice Wilds is on the canvas. Kip up by Mikey has him back on his feet, baseball slide into Jaice, who rolls out of the way. Jaice up to his feet, throwing a right hand at Mikey, it connects driving the Bearded Bastard backwards into the center of the ring. Another right hand, Mikey ducks underfull nelson merging into a DDT sends Jaice forehead first onto the canvas. Mikey kips up wiping sweat from his brow then slapping his hand across Jaice’s face. Mikey hits the ropes, seeming to be ready for an elbow drop, Jaice Wilds moves as the elbow comes down, Mikey’s elbow slams into the canvas hard. Jaice Wilds up quickly hitting the ropes with a springboard lionsault that flattens Mikey to the canvas. He quickly pulls the Bearded Bastard back to his feet, Irish whip into the corner. Wilds charges in, Mikey with a foot raised. Jaice slides under the bottom rope, having ducked under the foot. As he slides past Mikey’s foot, he grabs the planted foot, pulling it with his momentum. Mikey lands face first on the canvas as Wilds’ momentum keeps him going, Mikey crotched on the ringpost. The crowd groans.

Linzi Martin: This crowd not liking Mikey are they?

Jaice Wilds gets back up and begins clapping to get the crowd into this match, they get his point and begin to clap along with him. He jumps to the apron, leaps to the top turnbuckle and dives with a back elbow! Mikey rolls out of the way, Jaice rolls through the move unharmed. He spins back around charging at Mikey. Armdrag takedown and now Jaice Wilds is going on the defensive. Jaice up to a knee, Mikey struggling to keep him down. Right hand to the ribs of Mikey, a second. Mikey drops the hold, spins around, leg sweep takes Jaice down. Wilds lands on his shoulders but continues the roll backwards until he is up on his feet, Mikey can’t believe this. He charges with a clothesline, Wilds ducks under, Mikey with a mule kick sends Jaice Wilds shoulder first into the ringpost. He comes back holding at his injured shoulder in pain. Mikey kicks out with his right boot, but Wilds has obviously scouted as he ducks under the kick.

Linzi Martin: Wilds lucky he dodged that.
Mikey brings his foot back down as Jaice Wilds charges at his planted leg with a spear, Mikey leaps into the air with a one legged leap frog. Jaice’s momentum sends him through the ropes, he manages to catch the middle rope, spin himself around, slide in under the bottom rope and kip up to his feet in one fluid motion. Mikey looks impressed with that series and nods. Jaice Wilds holds at his shoulder again, because that little display cost him dearly. He once again charges at Mikey, rolling thunder stop into a leg sweep into boot heel to the throat of Mikey!

Linzi Martin: I honestly saw all this coming. Takes smarts.
Mikey kips up to his feet, hits the ropes, and rebounds with a springboard lionsault onto Jaice. Mikey climbs to the top turnbuckle, looks down at Jaice and mimics shooting him with a gun. Mikey leaps into action with the same series that Jaice just performed; this one being a bit more awkward than Jaice’s version, but connects. Mikey lifts Jaice up, hitting him with a series of vertical suplexes and ending with an Everplex to the center of the ring. Mikey then goes outside to retrieve a steel chair and climbs to the top turnbuckle and looks down on his opponent, Jaice Wilds.

Linzi Martin: I won’t lie, I miss having Mikey here with me. But I don’t think he really liked me.

Mikey is standing on the top turnbuckle, chair in hand and leaps, tossing the chair down just before he hits “The Sellout(chair assisted frogsplash).! Jaice moves! Jaice Wilds moves out of the way, kicking the chair back up into Mikey’s face! Mikey’s head is rocked backwards and Jaice is there sitting Mikey in the chair before climbing to the top rope!

Aerial Ace!

Cover!

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Here is your winner…. Jaice Wilds!

Mikey Massacre rolls out of the ring, obviously pissed off. He grabs a few chairs and begins throwing them around, even going as far as to knock a fans face in with one. Jaice Wilds heads back up the entrance ramp, as security rushes in past him.

Linzi Martin: Oh my old buddy Mikey doesn’t seem too happy with how this turned out.

Massacre takes down the first three security guards with chair shots but they taser him to get him sedated, sort of.

Linzi Martin: Was that necessary guys?!

Security drags Massacre off, the crowd booing him as they go.

*****Percepshun*****

We arrive at the front door where Anna Mathews is attempting to carefully lead Lisa Seldon through the building.

Anna Mathews: Com on slwpoke!

Attempt is of course the operable word as Lisa sits back on her heels, forcing Anna to drag her through the halls. Which looks odd… especially with the puppet… and the talking belt… and the moose. It’s a regular carnival.

Anna Mathews: Wi hav 2 go c the wzard!

Finally, Lisa comes to a complete halt and throws down her arm. Anna turns back to grab her again but recoils when Lisa huffs loudly in her general direction.

Lisa Seldon: What the hell are you doing? I’m not blind!

Anna Mathews: But ur depth percepshun!

Her tone jumps up and bites you in the ears.

Anna Mathews: Evrythin’ iz closr or furthr awy than u fink!

As if to further emphasise the point, Anna wildly flails her arms in the air. And carries right on doing so until Lisa steps forward and grabs her by the shoulders.

Lisa Seldon: No it is not! Everything is exactly where I expect it to be!

Lisa shakes her back and forth with every word; and then a little more there after just because she’s annoyed. With nothing to say, Anna decides instead to smile ridiculously.

PuppetLisa: What about the peoples?

Lisa looks down as the puppet appears from the bottom of your screen. Lisa sneers back.

Lisa Seldon: The peoples will all get the hell out of my way! Because I am declaring war!

Lisa then pushes the puppet aside (yup) and storms down the nearest hallway, pushing at least two peoples into the wall as she goes. Anna meanwhile clicks her heels and skips along after, her entourage in tow.

Anna Mathews: Com along, Travolta!

Travolta is the moose.

*****Jamie Flynn versus J.T. Whiplash*****

The lights go out as an image of a copperhead slithering down a dirt road airs on the REBEL-Tron as the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play with the snake slithering down the path. The snake then coils up in position to strike as the bagpipe intro ends and “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system as red, white, and blue lighting goes off throughout the arena. Just then, a spot-light shines on J.T. Whiplash in his wrestling attire, holding a Rebel flag as the fans erupt in cheers. J.T. then waves the Rebel flag in the air hollering as he does so. He then puts the flag over his shoulder as he makes his way to the ring slowly, tagging hands with as many fans as he can get to as he gets to the end of the ramp-way, pausing as he waves his Rebel flag around again before walking to the ring steps and sticking his Rebel flag in the ring post as he steps over the middle rope and climbs in the ring, shouting and hollering for the fans to cheer as he climbs up each second turn-buckle and lets out a loud “YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAWWW!!!” as he gives the crowd a bull-horn sign before he paces back and forth in the ring like a pissed-off hyena as he runs against the ropes a couple of times before going back to pacing as the music dies down.

“Knights of Cydonia” by Muse plays throughout the arena, but you can’t hear it because all the fans are on their feet. Jamie Flynn emerges from the entranceway, staring out across the crowd before making his way down to the ring.

* DING * DING * DING *

The two waste no time with a collar and elbow tie-up, Jamie Flynn is quick with a headlock but J.T. Whiplash quickly rushes him back to the ropes and shoves him off. Flynn comes off the ropes across the ring and Whiplash tries for a hip toss but it’s blocked. Flynn tries one of his own, it too is blocked. So Flynn settles for an arm drag take down.

As Whiplash gets to his feet, Flynn runs full steam and catches Whiplash with a clothesline that sends him to the mat. Flynn gets Whiplash to his feet and Irish whips him into the corner and follows him in with a running roundhouse kick. Flynn stands over Whiplash as he gets to his feet. Flynn tries to grab Whiplash by his wrist, but Whiplash quickly drives the tip of his boot into Flynn’s gut.

Whiplash follows up with several hard right hands that jar Flynn’s head, sending him up against the ropes. Whiplash shakes the punches off his fist before pursuing further. Whiplash proceeds to Irish whip Flynn across the ring and attempts a back body drop but Flynn flips over J.T.’s back and lands on his feet. As Whiplash turns around, he is caught with a crescent kick to the jaw.

With Whiplash on the mat near the ropes, Flynn runs to the ropes and delivers a baseball slide slash drop kick that sends Whiplash to the outside of the ring. Flynn seizing every opportunity steps out onto the apron and waits for Whiplash. Once J.T. gets to his feet, Flynn comes running and flying off the apron but Whiplash ducks the plancha and Flynn hit’s the floor.

Whiplash pulls Flynn to his feet and starts driving some more hard right hands into his skull, chasing Flynn around the ring as he does. Once he’s done pummeling him, Whiplash hooks Flynn up for a suplex but it’s blocked. Flynn hoists Whiplash up and slams his stomach onto the guardrail outside of the ring and then punches J.T. in the head several times. Once he’s incapacitated him long enough, Flynn climbs onto the apron and leaps off with a spinning leg drop.

Once Flynn gathers himself, he leaves Whiplash on the floor and digs under the ring for a table, setting it up. No sooner than the table is staged, Whiplash catches Flynn with a boot to the face as he turns around. Grabbing Flynn by the hair, he begins running with him and throws him face first into the steel steps.

With Flynn back to his feet, Whiplash starts delivering some vicious knife-edge chops to his Jamie’s chest. Again, chasing him around the ring as he does. Whiplash then Irish whips Flynn face first into the corner post of the ring. Whiplash throws Flynn into the ring, standing over him long enough to measure his next move which is a leaping leg drop across the neck and going for the cover.

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Whiplash picks Flynn up and shoves him back into the corner, picking and choosing where he lands his punches and his kicks effectively. Flynn reverses, throwing some punches and kicks of his own before Irish whipping J.T. to the opposing corner and trying to follow-up with his clothesline, but he catches a face fool of Whiplash’s shoe.

Whiplash picks Flynn off the mat and drapes his throat across the ropes, using all of his massive frame to begin choking the life out of Flynn for several seconds before breaking the hold. Flynn falls to the mat, clutching at his throat. Whiplash quickly hooks Flynn into a camel clutch and rears back as hard as he can. The ref is there to check for a submission.

Flynn begins fighting his way out, using the ropes to pull himself to his feet but before he’s able to capitalize, Whiplash punches him in the throat and then clotheslines him to the mat. Flynn gets to his feet in the corner, but Whiplash is there driving boot after boot into his stomach once again. Flynn mounts a counter, striking Whiplash in the gut with a fist of his own. And another. And another.

Flynn starts striking rapidly now. One to the head, one to the body, back to the head, a kick to the ribs, kick to the knee and a roundhouse to the chest. With some separation now, Flynn takes off for the ropes buts get cut right back down with a power slam. Cover.

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Whiplash pulls Flynn up by his hair, but Flynn starts right where he left off. Driving more punches into the gut of Whiplash, Flynn again appears to be distancing himself but J.T. is quick with an eye-gouge that stops the momentum. Whiplash throws Flynn towards the ropes, but Flynn holds on. J.T. comes running but Flynn ducks and back body drops Whiplash to the outside of the ring through the table!

Flynn takes a moment to catch his breath, meanwhile Whiplash begins to stir. Crawling towards the ring, he reaches for a steel chair from under it. As he stands, Flynn grabs him by his hair and Whiplash turns around with ferocity and bends the chair over his skull. Flynn stumbles back as Whiplash slides into the ring with the chair and sets it up in the ring.

Pick Flynn off the mat, J.T. picks Flynn up into a full gorilla press over his head and begins walking towards the chair. Flynn begins to shuffle lose, landing on his feet behind Whiplash. As Whiplash turns around, he thrown into the air by Flynn and pancaked onto the chair.

Flynn folds up the chair and drapes it across Whiplash’s face and he climbs up to the middle turnbuckle. Leaping off, he lands with a senton bomb onto the chair, crushing Whiplash’s skull underneath. Once he’s done nursing his back, Flynn removes the chair to reveal a busted open Whiplash. (Really, we’re used to it by now.)

Flynn climbs to the top turnbuckle, motioning for Whiplash to get to his feet. As J.T. finally stands up, Flynn comes off the top with his Suicide Devil’s Plancha!

1!

2!

3!

* DING * DING * DING *

Jenny Jersey: Here is your winner… Jamie Flynn!

Linzi Martin: Wow. Whiplash is a tough bastard, but this might be what people look back to and say was the beginning of Flynn’s Era. Is it though? Who knows. I’ve been drinking so you shouldn’t listen to me.

*****Time To Step It Up Again*****

Bubba J stands prepared for his match, dressed in his bluejeans, t-shirt, and doing his 12 ounce arm curls repeatedly on the bench.

“The more and more I think about it, the pisseder and pisseder I get.”

A very beautiful brunette comes from the bathroom, dressed in a set of skimpy bras and panties, she giggles as she sits on his lap.

“What makes you so mad Bubba?”

He looks at her and swallows some beer.

“That damnable Simon Kalis. I can’t stand his sorry black ass. I’m tired of him running away from our fight and he’s too much of a pussy to step up and us have this match.”

The woman leans over, kissing his ear(and wispering as well.

“Damn right, I’m gonna go and kick his ass!”

The woman slides off, sitting there as she looks at Bubba J storm out of the room, beer in hand. The scene changes out into the hallway where Gold is skipping along, bumping right into Bubba J. Gold looks up, gulping as Bubba J looks down into his very scared face.

“You’ll do!”

Bubba J growls as Gold whimpers and tries to run away. Bubba J begins to pound away on him.

“Tell me where I can find Simon!”

Gold whimpers again.

“Tell me and I’ll stop whoopin’ yer ars!”

He kicks Jeremy in the ass for good measure.

“Damn, nearly lost my foot up in there!”

Gold tries to run away from the irate redneck.

Gold: “He…. he… hes… in the office with Laaaaa…… rrry Goooooorddddon.”

Bubba J snickers.

“You lying faggot, Gordon ain’t around these parts anymore! Now, I’m gonna kick your ass for protectin’ his black ass and lyin’ to me!”

Bubba J shoves Gold into the bathroom, before pissing in the stall(while he holds Gold by the neck). Bubba J lifts him up in piledriver position.

“Swirly time you sorry piece of shit. Next time don’t lie to me!”

He shoves Gold’s head into the toilet and flushes. J walks out of the stall, finding Vincent Black there in the hallway(Gold is whimpering in the bathroom).

Vincent: “Swirly?”

Bubba J nods.

Vincent: “Hey, did you know Gordon showed up tonight?”

Bubba J looks a bit surprised.

Bubba J: “Really?…(he looks back towards the bathroom) Then the faggot wasn’t lying.”

He shrugs before yelling back at Gold.

“Tell Simon to quit running and I’m ready to kick his black ass into the longest hospital stay of his career.”

For answer Gold whimpers.

Bubba J: “Stop acting like this the first time you’ve ever had turds near yer mouth…”

Bubba J and Vincent walk off, Bubba J muttering while Vincent chuckles.

Bubba J: “Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks.”

*****Non Title Match*****
*****Legion versus Violet Harper*****

Jenny Jersey: The following match is a special non title grudge match!

The lights in the arena go to black and the heavy bass of ‘Inside’ by NiN kicks in over the sound system. Rising from a hole set in the middle of the stage is Legion, a backlight showing only his silhouette. The arena lights come back up and Legion is joined on stage by members of his congregation and they all make their way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: Coming to the ring first, he hails from parts unknown and weighs in at 260 pounds…..Legion!!!

The dark prophet of the Church of Misery is greeted by nothing but boos, although a handful of wanna be goths kids give him the silent treatment so he’s got that goin’ for him.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent…..

“Gasoline” by Audioslave hits the speakers and the crowd goes apeshit!

Jenny Jersey: She hails from Portsmouth, NH and weighs in at 139 pounds, she is the current REBEL Pro Aggression Champion…..Violet Harper!!!!

Linzi Martin: Why are you out here? I was doing fine by myself.

Batman: Management thinks there needs to be a dynamic you know. Bang! Pow! That sorta thing.
Violet slides into the ring, eyes Legion, smirks at him and unstraps the belt from around her waist. She hands the belt over to referee Alan Stone. Jenny quickly makes her way out of the ring and the referee calls for the bell!

Linzi Martin: Hmph. Well. Once again we had the odd assortment of misfits and freaks along with Legion.

Batman: I was thinkin’ of starting my own Church, for strictly tax purposes of course.

Linzi Martin: Uh yeah.

Legion and Harper circle each other. Legion lunges in and Harper sidesteps him landing a stiff side kick to the thigh of Legion. The big man again lunges for the smaller Harper and again takes another kick to the thigh that would make any MMA fighter envious. The freak know as ‘Piggy’ climbs up onto the ring apron and Harper spins around and drops him to the floor with a right hand! Legion takes advantage of this distraction to bury a knee into the back of Harper! Legion drops a big elbow across the back of the neck of Harper and then shoots her into the ropes. Harper ducks a clothesline and springboards off the middle rope and nails Legion with a crossbody! Legion catches her in midair and turns the move into a spinning side slam. Instead of going for a cover, Legion heads to the closest corner and pulls himself to the second turnbuckle. The big man takes flight with a splash but Harper rolls out of the way!

Batman: Big dudes should never takes to the air. It always ends badly.

Legion is scrambling back to his feet but Harper drops him with a shinning wizard! Harper goes for a cover but Legion shoves her off before the referee can even get into position. Harper rolls to the outside, stands up on the ring apron and waits as Legion pulls himself to his feet. Springboard seated senton from Harper! Instead of trying for a pin, Harper rains down right hands at the masked man until he shoves her off. Legion gets to his feet and takes a dropkick that send shim stumbling into the corner. Harper climbs up unto the second turnbuckle and prepares to start throwin’ punches again when she’s suddenly chuncked over the top rope by Legion! Harper lands hard on the outside and the dark prophet rolls to the floor.

Linzi Martin: The champ is out of her element on the floor! The more brutal this match becomes one would think legion would have the advantage!

Batman: You think she’s wearing any underwear?

Linzi Martin: You disgust me.

Harper is getting to her feet and eats a big boot from Legion! With Harper down, Legion turns his attention to hunting for plunder under the ring. He pulls out a ladder from under the ring and the crowd happily chants ‘We Want Ladders!’ Legion braces one end of the ladder on the ring apron and the other on the ring barricade. From nowhere Harper sails over the ladder, hooks the head of Legion and takes him to the floor with a tornado DDT! Harper wastes no time in asking for and receiving a chair from a ringside fan. Legion is getting back up and takes a chairshot across the back! The monster spins around and Harper lights him up with a sick chairshot to the head! Another! A third! Legion is on rubber legs as Harper tosses him the chair. Legion reflexively catches the chair and Harper dropkicks the chair back into his face!

Batman: Legion is getting beat like Rihanna on a date with Chris Brown!

Linzi Harper: The champ is showing just why she’s possibly the most dominant REBEL Aggression Champion ever!

Harper is trying to push Legion up onto the ladder but the big man drives an elbow to the back of her head. Legion shakes his head to clear the cobwebs and then grabs Harper and presses her above his head only to drop her throat first across the barricade! The referee is yelling for them to bring it back inside but he’s ignored as most REBEL referees are. Legion drags Harper off the floor only so that he can slam her hard back down onto the concrete! Legion picks up the dented chair, waits for Harper to pull herself up and cracks the chair across her back! Harper is quickly rolled onto the ladder by Legion and we see the freak Piggy suddenly crawl into the ring and climb to the top rope. When pigs fly! Piggy leaps off the top turnbuckle but Harper rolls off the ladder and Piggy smashes through it and crash lands on the floor!

Batman: And it’s free bacon for all!

Harper and Legion both roll into the ring as medics rush down to see if Piggy is even still alive. Harper takes a big right hand that stuns her and Legion shots her into the ropes. Side slam from Legion! Legion hooks the leg and gets a count of two from the referee. Legion reaches down to pull Harper up and she responds with a low blow! Legion drops to his knees as Harper rolls to the ring apron, gets up and starts to scale her way to the top turnbuckle. Legion is up and turns around in time to get hit with a moonsault from champ! Harper gets a two count before Legion shoves her off. Legion uses the ring ropes to pull himself up and Harper charges him. Legion quickly slaps a hand around the throat of Harper and takes her up for a chokeslam! Legion bounces Harper off the mat with a brutal chokeslam and she curls into the fetal position. Legion stands over her and reaches down to once again grab her. Harper springs into action, obviously playing possum, and locks Legion into a Omoplata crossface!

Batman: He’ll never tap.

Linzi Martin: I dunno the champ has it locked in tight!

Legion tries to pull both himself and Harper to the ropes but he can’t make it. Legion tapes out!

Batman: Ah shit!

Harper releases the hold and rolls out of the ring as the bell rings!

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match….Violet Harper!!!!!!

Linzi Martin: Harper suckered Legion right into that submission hold and not even he could withstand the punishment!

Batman: I wonder if she’ll let me take a victory shower with her?

Linzi Martin: Get the hell out of here Marvin, and sober up.

Marvin Humperdink, err we mean Batman, gets up and frowns as he leaves the ringside area to the once again solo Linzi Martin.

*****WAR*****

Lisa Seldon: I am declaring war!

PuppetLisa: She loves declaring war.

Lisa declares war and pounds on Jeremy’s desk, causing him to scatter pretty much everything he has on the desk. In turn Anna giggles and kicks her feet up through the wreckage while Lisa stomps around the room.

Simon Kalis: Declaring war on who?

Simon Kalis steps through the door and is secretly sad that he isn’t suddenly the centre of attention. All eyes are still on Lisa, who spins around slaps Jeremy on the head for no apparent reason.

Lisa Seldon: I’m declaring war on everyone! Everything! I’m declaring war on Hardcore Entertainment and Mikey Massacre and his stupid fucking mullet and anyone else who decides I don’t adequately represent their vision of Rebel Pro. And Anyone, literally anyone who puts me in a situation where I have to wear sunglasses indoors like some kind of ridiculous Lazarusesque douchebag.

Simon Kalis: And so, you’re going to..?

Anna thursts her hand in the air, desperate to answer.

Anna Mathews: Stab him in the heart with a pair of scissors!

Lisa Seldon: Yes!

Lisa claps her hands together, causing Jeremy to jump again.

Lisa Seldon: I like that idea. I like it! And you know what I like about it most? The part about stabbing him in the heart with a pair of scissors!

Jeremy Gold stammers, doing his best to speak without really being heard as Lisa snatches up such a weapon and twists them worryingly between her fingers.

Jeremy Gold: You… you can’t just go around stabbing our guys in the heart. This isn’t Victory.

Lisa Seldon: Bullshit Jeremy, I can stab anyone I want!

A point she punctuates by plunging the scissors into the desk, complete oblivious to Jeremy’s hand getting in the way. He suddenly seems very pale.

Lisa Seldon: You!

She spins around to Kalis, having decided on him as the brains of the operation. Jeremy meanwhile emits a very horrible sound above a frequency audible to human ears. Both Travolta and Anna seem to perk up.

Lisa Seldon: Find us two people, any two people you don’t like, and then say goodbye to them. Because we’re coming back next week and we’re not leaving witnesses.

Lisa then pushes past Kalis back into the hall, making sure to shove whoever else happens to be in her way onto the floor. Kalis himself watches her go and Anna, still sitting at the desk, hands Jeremy a phone. He in turn squeaks into the receiver.

Jeremy Gold: Ambulance please. Quickly.

A second later he finally passes out.

Simon Kalis: Who wants cake?

*****REBEL Pro Tag Team Championship Match*****
*****Case Filed Rockets versus Hardcore Entertainment©*****

“Troublesome 96″ hits up in the speakers as from the back, to a mix of more boos than cheers comes the team of Justin Case and Rocky Logan, along with their handler Hugh Aredone.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing the challengers…, at a total combined weight of four hundred and ninety pounds; “The Millennium Game” Justin Case and “Wreckless” Rocky Logan, along with their manager Hugh Aredone… I give you… Case! Filed! Rockets!

Case and Rocky stand in the ring, leaning over and talking to Hugh Aredone as they both glance from time to time over at Styles Clash.

“Reign of Terror” hits up and the crowd explodes, highly unusual for these men, but the violence they are bringing back has the crowd in a frenzy. Bubba J and Vincent Black step from the back, wearing their belts over their shoulders and Black has on his mask from the promos; they stare at the crowd before glowering at Case Filed Rockets.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing the Rebel Pro Tag Team Champions, I give you at a total combined weight of five hundred and ninety-one pounds, the team of Bubba J and Vincent Black; (crowd along with her) Hardcore! Entertainment!

Black and J nod as they walk down to the ring, still glowering at their opponents before stepping into the ring and handing their belts off to Jenny Jersey.

Ding Ding

Collar and elbow lockup, Black shoving Case backwards, but here comes in Bubba J nailing Case in the back of the legs with a lead pipe as the weapons are broken out early in this one. This is Rebel and there are no rules, you’d do well to remember that. Here comes Rocky Logan with a big boot, sending Bubba J down to the canvas. J rolls up to his feet, Rocky sends him over with a clothesline, but J pulls him out along with him. Case nails Black in the knee with an elbow before shooting up with a double fist to the chin rocking the big man. Case presses his advantage with a roundhouse punch, following it up with a stomp to the side of Black’s knee for good measure. Case grinds his knuckles into Black’s fractured orbital bones before ripping the mask away and kicking him right in the face. J looks up as Black is bleeding early in this match.

Linzi Martin: The fans already get satiated with fresh blood on the canvas.

J looks up, Rocky nailing him with a boot to the face sends him spinning to the announce table. J grabs the television set there and here comes Rocky. J nails him right in the face, shattering the glass of the set and knocking Rocky out cold.

Bubba J: “Dey do that in MMA boy?!”

He stomps down on the now broken nose of Rocky before pulling him up and piledriving him onto the TV and after grabbing a steel chair he rolls back into the ring. Case is pounding away on Vincent’s busted up face, never seeing J roll back into the ring. J swings the chair, nailing Case in the back of the skull and as he falls forward, Black smiles sending him on over with a belly to belly suplex. Black and J fist bump before double teaming Case in the ropes. Black points to the corner, J whips him there before Black whips J into the corner. With a head of steam J nails Case with a double fist smashing forearm type of body splash(it ain’t pretty and even harder to describe); however very effective. Case begins to fall out of the corner, right as Black comes sailing through the air with a running knee to the side of his face. J leans over, Rocky nailing Black from behind with the steel chair from moments earlier. J turns around, chair right to the face sends J into the corner. Boot choke from Rocky has J struggling for breath.

Linzi Martin: Rocky with a breath taking swagger. Haha, get it?

Rocky: “They didn’t teach this to me in MMA either!”

Rocky uses a bit of reach and effort to begin pounding J in the face as he chokes the life out of him with his boot. Meanwhile Vincent is struggling back up to his feet, shaking the cobwebs out of his skull as Case nails him with a shoulder block to his bad knee. Black falls down and Case is there with a ground and pound technique and raining down fists onto the hurt side of Vincent’s face. Again in the corner Bubba J is turning beet red from the choke and struggling to get some purchase. Rocky is continuing to pound away and there goes Bubba J falling limp in the corner. Rocky looks down, right into a double uppercut into his little rocks! Logan’s eyes roll up into his skull and he crumples down to the canvas, narrowly avoiding Case pounding the hell out of Vincent. Bubba J climbs to the second turnbuckle, coming down with a double foot stomp right onto Rocky’s rocks and tossing him out of the way as he goes after Case. Justin rolls over, dropping down and flipping J over onto his back with some really cool move that looked really nifty. Case immediately turns, locking J’s head into a sleeper, trying to wear one down and let Rocky take care of the other. He looks over his shoulder and Rocky is still unmoving, thanks to that double foot stomp. But now Vincent is starting to move, all be it very slowly, but the big sumbitch is moving. Black to one knee, blood pouring from his nose and a trickle from the corner of his eye. However J has the mask of Vincent, nailing Case in the face with it knocking Case out cold. J tosses the mask to Vincent, who puts it back on reluctantly then J holds Case from behind as Vincent goes to nail him with his mask covered face.

Linzi Martin: I’d love to drink Black’s bath water…… Wait did I just say that out loud?

Rocky nails J in the balls in return, causing J to drop Case and receive the full force of Black’s headbutt instead. J looks wobbly on his feet, but from which shot we aren’t sure, or it could be both shots. Either way Rocky shoves him aside and comes to meet Vincent head on. Black with another headbutt attempt, but Rocky with a double leg takedown has Vincent on his back. Meanwhile Case is rolling back up to his feet, dragging Bubba J along with him and pulling his face across the second rope, spllitting his forehead, cheek, and pretty much his entire face; Case ends it with a multiple face smash into the top turnbuckle. Case spins J around, nailing him in the ribs with punch after punch before delivering stiff knees into his kidneys and an European uppercut for good measure. Hugh slides a chair into the ring as Case lifts J up onto the top turnbuckle, driving him face first into the chair, but unable to make the cover. Case rolls over, looking at Rocky pounding Vincent. For his part though, Vincent is firing back with Rocky, the two trading pretty much equal blows, enter in Justin Case to uneven up the odds. Case with a kick to the side of Black’s gets him and Rocky full advantage for the first time in the match.skull

Linzi Martin: And now Case Filed Rockets showing their domination.

Rocky whips Vincent into the ropes and as he comes back, Logan lifts him up, sending him down to meet Case who nails him with the code breaker. Case covers for the pin.

One!

Two!

Bubba J stomps on the back of his Millennium head before using the momentum to launch himself at Logan. The two men hang on the ropes for a second before the momentum carries them on over to the outside; Logan taking the force of the impact on his back. Here comes Hugh though to get Case to cover Black again, who still appears to be out cold.

One!

Two!

Vincent kicks out, fairly easy after the rest, but Case is pressing the advantage, along with his fingers into vincent’s hurt face(the damn saddistic person that Case is).

Linzi Martin: He’s showing just how much he wants this.

J whips Rocky into the railing before lifting him up and dropping his throat across the top of the railing. Hugh is cheering Justin on and never sees J come up behind him. Bubba J spins him around, nailing him right in the gut then completing the Trailer Park Trash and shoving two double birds into Hugh’s face. J looks over at Taboo and Chad flipping them off as well

before hurriedly stomping on the rising Rocky. Case is in Vincent’s face, but Black pulls him on through, sending him out of the ring and into Bubba J who stumbles into Rocky, who in turn drops him throat first across the railing. Black smiles and shrugs and as Case and Logan get up he launches himself over the top rope, swinging the chair at Rocky while lashing out with his feet/knees at Case and connecting.

Linzi Martin: Black is a wrecking ball, god damn.

Black pulls Rocky up, pounding him up against the ringpost then nailing him with a steel chair, denting the weapon and smearing it with blood. Bubba J is pulling himself up, holding a beer bottle in his right hand and as Case rolls back up, J cracks him across the face, splitting his lip, busting his nose, and cutting several cuts into his face/cheek. Case stumbles back, but Bubba J has the intentions on carving him up like a Thanksgiving turkey as he jabs, dashes, and all other sorts of slashing motions at Case who back peddles steadily. Logan with a kick catches Vincent off guard making him stumble back. Logan, pouring blood, presses his advantage. Black with a right, but Logan ducks under lifting Black up and sending him neck/back of the skull first onto the ring steps with a German suplex. Logan rolls onto his side, breathing heavily and spitting blood away from his mouth. On the other side of the ring now Case trips J up, sending him face first onto the broken neck of the bottle, causing a few more cuts(as though you could see them from the crimson mask already).

Linzi Martin: “I’m not sure Bubba J has fully recovered from the match against Vic Wagner and here he is in another match extremely quickly.

Case pounds his bloody face into the concrete before folding him up and nailing a cradle piledriver onto the concrete floor. Case, being unusually very hardcore, starts wrapping the electrical cables around the throat and neck of Bubba J, who seems to be unconscious against the ring. Case is bent over securing the cables as on the other side of the ring Logan is dropping the steps repeatedly onto Black’s face, who’s mask is now red with his blood as well as there seems to be quite a bit of blood on the ring steps as well. Hugh is starting to stir, but feebly falls back onto the floor as Logan rolls Vincent back into the ring. Logan lifts Black up, whip into the ropes. Black comes back, running boot, but Logan dives forward hitting a spear onto Black sending him back down to the canvas. Meanwhile The Show and Taboo are watching the match and discussing both teams as though making notes and preparing for all four men. Logan makes another cover.

One!

Two!

Thr

Vincent gets a shoulder up.

Linzi Martin: So close, this could be a turning point folks.

Logan can’t believe it and pulls Vincent up, his anger getting to him, the inexperienced Rebel Pro rookie. He whips Vincent back into the corner, spitting on him for good measure and humiliation. However, this has the opposite effect as Vincent seems to be awakened now. Black comes out with both fists going, connecting with left after right and right after left until Rocky is in the other corner. Vincent is looking like Rocky beating the hell out of all of his opponents and is damned if he is going to take any more offense from Rocky Logan in this match. Black is pounding his fists, knees, and everything in his aresonal into Logan in the corner. Black lifts Rocky up to the top turnbuckle when ther e is a loud flash and scream from right beneath him as he nails a superplex onto Logan.

~Fecal Beagle Re-watch~

J lifts a pair of wire cutters up, snipping the cords right there at his hands and sticking them to Justin’s balls sending the current through his nuts as the flash is loud and bright. Case is flung back from the impact and up against the railing now, his hands holding himself in obvious pain, that is if he was awake.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, that’ll do it.

~End of Feagle Beagle Re-watch~
j rolls back into the ring, shaking now after the current ran through his body as well and as we look back down, there is a small bottle of water opened and dripping water out of its mouth(he used it to enhance the shock to Justin Case). J pulls Black off of Rocky, nodding that they need to finish this. Black whips Rocky into the ropes and here comes Bubba J with a hellacious clothesline(called My Fucking Face).

Linzi Martin: That must’ve hurt his fucking face. Hah! I’m brilliant!

Vincent looks over at Case, who isn’t moving, lifting Rocky up…, bringing him down to finish the Elitest Drop(upside down New Hope into Trailer Park Trash). Black turns to keep a watch on Chad Kurtis, Taboo, and Justin Case as Bubba J makes the cover.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winners of the match and STIIIIIIIILL Rebel Pro Tag Team Champions… Bubba J and Vincent Black… Hardcore Entertainment!

Vincent and Bubba J stand side by side, holding their belts up high as they stare at Taboo and Chad Kurtis, who are clapping up at them, but their main focus is on Justin Case and Rocky Logan. Justin and Rocky try to leave, but Taboo and Chad stand in the aisle blocking their exit and point to both Justin and to Rocky before pointing back to themselves indicating they still have to answer to them sooner rather than later as we fade to the REBEL Pro logo and out…

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Bobby Lee defeats Jimmy Henderson, following an invasion force of Gray Aliens from the Zeti Reticuli star cluster.
Virgil Keenan defeats Loren Chill, and thus Chill remains the CJ Champion. We guess.
Jaice Wilds defeats Mikey Massacre in a major upset, and Mikey bashes things and people.
Jamie Flynn defeats J.T. Whiplash and somewhere someone shit their pants. We imagine.
Violet Harper defeats Legion because staring at her ass, how can we be miserable?
Hardcore Entertainment defeats Case Filed Rockets, and Style Clash puts everyone on notice.

*****Special Delivery*****

Meanwhile, outside of whatever the fuck arena Rebel’s gonna demolish this week, a tall figure holding a package walks towards the entrance. Strange looking bastard though. But then again, how couldn’t you get crazy looks and double takes when you have robot octopus arms and a really tiny head. And having three voices is rather confusing, don’t you think?

Top: Why the hell are we doing this again?

Middle: Because it’s a dramatic entrance.

Bottom: An ish much better than jus blowing it up.

A guard stops…them? It?

Top: Special delivery for *papers russle* a Mister Rupert,

Middle: Gold,

Bottom: Oar Kalis.

Top: Courtesy of a Trixie Von Vixen. Professor of Time, Space, and Lunacy. Munich, Germany.

The protective neanderthal tilts his head as if trying to figure out exactly how it said all that without moving its lips. The cold button eyes staring back seem to suggest that something isn’t quite right. A minute passes. Then he opens the door.

Guard: Whatever.

And our figure skips inside, nearly losing its balance but never dropping the package.

*****The Aftermath Edition*****

We fade into the office of our illustriously bisexual cocaine addled General Manager himself, Jeremy Gold. He’s sitting on his desk, kicking his feet around.

Jeremy Gold: With Simon at home nursing his injuries, it leaves the job of running REBEL Pro up to ME!

Rupert The Kangaroo puts his piece of celery down, and gives Gold a dirty look and hisses.

Jeremy Gold: Right. Us! US!

Rupert returns to munching his celery stalk and nods. Gold scratches his chin.

Rupert The Kangaroo: *Makes whatever noises Kangaroo’s make. I really should google that at some point so there’s something else to put here.*

Gold lights up, his eyes widen.

Jeremy Gold: YES! You’re brilliant Rupert!

Gold points at the camera in the office.

Jeremy Gold: As of this moment, Bobby Lee’s Curtain Jerker Championship title is OFFICIALLY recognized by REBEL Pro! His reign from whence he won, will be thrown into the history books! Retroactive and shit!

Rupert The Kangaroo: *noises and stuff*

Jeremy Gold: Nah, he won’t be mad. I think?

We fade into a fancy intro video for Aggression, with some heavy metal playing over it as pyros explode all over the arena.

Linzi Martin: Hello ladies and gentlemen! I’m Linzi Martin!

Batman: And I’m dunanunanuna BATMAN!

Linzi Martin: Hey Marvin Humperdink. I take it the head offices haven’t found a permanent replacement for Mikey yet, huh?

Batman: It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.

*****REBEL Pro Curtain Jerker Championship Match*****
*****Loren N. Chill versus Bobby Lee©*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will be the for the REBEL Pro Curtain Jerker Championship!

The crowd reacts variously, some cheer, some holler, some are just flat out confused.

Linzi Martin: And how do you win a title like that?

The guitar & drums of “I Hear Voices” by Uriah Heap sound off inside of the arena, as the music hits full stride, Bobby Lee emerge from the entranceway. He has on full riot gear and his Curtain Jerker Championship securely strapped around his head and several Nerf guns attached to his Kevlar vest.

Linzi Martin: Oh no! It’s Chattanooga all over again!

Linzi hides under the announcer table.

Batman: Just when you thought Bobby Lee couldn’t get any more odd, Loren N. Chill pushes the right button and sends Bobby Lee’s paranoia into overdrive.

As Bobby Lee makes his way to the ring, the camera pans to an audience member holding up a sign that says, “Give Peace A Chance”, with the Vulcan hand greeting drawn on.

Jenny Jersey: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 240 lbs., he hails from Miller’s Trailer Park — the Curtain Jerker Champion — Bobby Lee!!

Bobby Lee gets into the ring, back himself up into a corner and putting his full-body riot shield in front of him.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent…

Batman: Here we go.

The REBELTron goes to static, the lights begin to dissolve on and off repeatedly, as “Faaip de Oiad” by Tool begins to creep into the arena.

Batman: What the fuck is that noise!?

The entire arena has their hands over their ears, Bobby Lee has since dropped his riot shield and is now cowering behind the apron on the far side of the ring from the entrance way.

As the song comes to a close, the entire arena is engulfed in pitch black.

Then, “Let Me Prey” by Van Helsing’s Curse begins playing throughout as the arena is now engulfed in red overhead lights, the REBELTron now displays alien-like symbols and images. As the lights over the entranceway come on we can see what appears to be a dozen black-robed Yautjas (Predators, for those of you who never read the comics), some with masks, some without.

Linzi Martin: Oh my gosh! Bobby was right! The Reticuli are real!

Linzi climbs back under the table.

### CENTURIES HAD PASSED ###
### AND THE WORLD HAD CHANGED ###
### BUT IT KNEW THEY HAD NOT ###

### FIRST THEY WOULD TRY TO FIGHT ###

### THEN THEY WOULD TRY TO RUN ###

### AND THEN THEY WOULD PRAY ###

The maniacal laughter that was once Patient 4479 can be heard echoing through the arena.

### “LET US PRAY” ###

### NO! ###

### LET ME PREY ###

The Yautjas make their way down the aisle in pairs and begin to circle around the ring. Bobby Lee tries to scramble for a new place to hide but quickly retreats back into the ring, snatching up his riot shield and cautiously watching all sides of the ring.

Then, at the top of the entrance appears two more Yautja, one of which is completely decked out with battle-ready armor.

Batman: Wow, Loren N. Chill is really selling tonight.

The two Yautja, Loren & Dennis, make their way down to the ring. Dennis gets down on all fours next to the ring apron and Loren uses his back as a step up. Once on the apron, Loren steps into the ring and the camera focuses on Bobby Lee who has appeared to literally soil his pants.

The bell sounds.

* DING * * DING * * DING *

As Loren approaches Bobby Lee, Bobby tries to jet back out of the ring but sees the Yautja on the outside of the ring and turns around, running into a stiff arm clothesline. Loren pulls Bobby up by his and begins pounding away at his forehead with his fist, backing Bobby up into the corner before Irish whipping him across the ring with authority.

As the turnbuckle slams into Bobby’s chest, Bobby begins to stumble backward, walking right into a side Russian leg sweep.

Batman: Cover!

1!

2!

Just before the referee comes down for the three-count, Loren pulls Bobby’s head and shoulders off the mat to stop the count. With Bobby on the ground, Loren pulls off the Yautja masks — both of them — and tosses them out into the crowd.

Linzi Martin: Loren really is the Reticuli second in command!

Batman: *face palm* [pause] Loren Chill, in control here during the early goings of this match-up. The mind games before the match really taking their toll on Bobby Lee’s psyche.

Loren slides out of the ring and heads over to where Jenny Jersey is sitting, shoving her to the ground and grabbing the chair under her, folding it up and sliding back into the ring with it. Walking over to Bobby Lee, he pulls him to his feet and hangs him upside down in the tree of woe. Taking the chair he brought into the ring, he lays it against Bobby’s face and takes off for the opposite corner.

With a head of steam, Loren delivers a dropkick to the chair. The chair falls flat on the mat and Bobby’s head is busted wide open. Loren unhooks him from the tree of woe and just lets Bobby flop to the mat as well. Picking Bobby back up from the mat, he shoves him back into the corner before mounting the second turnbuckle. Loren then reaches into one of the pockets of his Yautja utility belt and pulls out a pair of brass knuckles. Pounding his fists into Bobby’s head as the arena counts them off, as does Linzi Martin.

Linzi Martin: 1, 6, 4, 7, 2, 9, 3, 12, B, 10!

Batman: Close.

Loren, stepping aside to let Bobby stagger out of the corner, climbs to the third tier of the turnbuckle and turns around. Bobby still staggering, turns around and is on the receiving end of a flying head scissors that sends him skidding to the outside of the ring.

Batman: Bobby Lee better be careful on the outside of the ring with all of those “aliens”.

Loren slides under the bottom rope and quickly begins digging under the ring to find a kendo stick.

Batman: Wow, that was conveniently placed!

Bobby slowly gets to his feet just to be cracked in the skull with the kendo stick. Bobby back peddles to the ring steps, getting cracked in the head again, the kendo stick starting to split. Loren throws the stick down, grabs Bobby by his hair and slams Bobby’s face into the steps before throwing him back into the ring. Loren climbs up to the apron and waits.

Batman: Loren could be setting up for the J.O.Y!

Bobby, again, slow to his feet and as he turns around Loren slingshots onto the top rope and catches Bobby Lee with a 720 DDT onto the chair that still rests on the mat.

Batman: That move had to hurt Loren as much as it hurt Bobby as his hand is clutching underneath him at his back. Wait a minute!

The referee runs and slides across the mat and beings counting.

1!

2!

3!!

The referee quickly gets to his feet and calls for the bells as “I Hear Voices” by Uriah Heap plays throughout the arena.

Batman: What the fuck just happened here?

The REBELTron shows the reply as Loren comes off the top rope with the 720 DDT onto the chair, it shows him writhing in pain. It also shows, Loren with both shoulders on the mat with Bobby Lee’s arm still draped across Loren’s stomach.

Batman: Are you telling me…

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: BOBBY LEE!!

The referee helps Bobby Lee to his feet, holding his hand up in victory. The timekeeper brings the Curtain Jerker Championship and hands it into the ring. Bobby Lee seizes the belt and begins celebrating his conquering of the Reticuli. He goes from corner to corner, the referee following him as he celebrates. As Bobby comes down off the turnbuckle, the referee snatches the Curtain Jerker Championship title from Bobby Lee’s grasp.

Batman: This is not going to end well.

Bobby keeps telling the referee, “But I won!” and the referee keeps nodding his head but keeps walking towards Loren Chill who is now upright in the corner, still holding onto his back. The referee hands Loren the belt and then proceeds to push Bobby Lee away from Loren.

Batman: Bobby Lee is irate. Who would’ve thought that the Curtain Jerker Championship would EVER change hands, let alone in this fashion?

Bobby is in the aisle way now, pulling out his hair and screaming at the referee and the Reticuli still standing around the ring. Loren Chill holds the title up, looking at it with slight disgust before a smirk breaks from the corner of his mouth.

Batman: Oh, wait a minute… That sly fucking bastard!

Loren starts laughing to himself in the corner of the ring. Once Bobby Lee is out of sight, Loren exits the ring as “The Outsider [Apocalypse Mix]” by A Perfect Circle fills the arena, laughing, smiling and shaking his head all the way up the aisle.

Mikey Massacre: Folks, Loren N. Chill said this past week that all Bobby Lee needed to make it in this business was the right motivation — I think it’s safe to say, Bobby Lee now has the right motivation. Look out Rebel Pro!

Loren stands on top of the entrance ramp, holding the Curtain Jerker Championship high above his head as he disappears backstage.

*****Troublesome ‘11*****

” Troublesome ’96 ” by Tupac Shakur hits up on the P.A. and out steps REBEL PRO’s most talented trio. ” Case Filed Rockets ” make their way to the ring with eager intention. Once from within the ring, Case motions for a couple mics as the new ” Twin Towers of Professional Wrestling ” stand in the center of the ring. Their manager stands in the background. The music dies off.

Boos linger

” Wreckless ” Rocky Logan: Thank you for that warm welcome but You see, there are many reasons why we have asked for this time slot. So we can stand here all day and wait until you guys shut the hell up!! As the one and only was about to say, I know you all want to know why we are here. Its very simple really. After some deep soul searching, and some nice long walks on the beach. It finally hit us. WE R #1!

WRL pauses as more boos egnite

” TMG ” Justin Case proceeds to talk

“TMG” Justin Case: Thats right, Rock. And while we are offically the new number one contenders to the REBEL PRO Tag Team Championship Title belts, that only means that one team is in our talented way. There is only one team that now matters to us. As you could of guessed it, the team ” Hardcore Entertainment ” has now got our full attention. You see, they have what we want. They have what we need. They have what we can not do without. That is the tag team titles!

More boos

Rocky speaks

WRL: But you see, this is much more then just a couple of title belts. This is about the truth. And while we all need to find our own truths in our ways. There are a couple truths that we feel we need to bring to the fore front. Meaning that Hardcore Entertainment has got to face their own truth. In other words, Hardcore Entertainment has been coasting along all this time without having to face their fears. And in order to be the best. One must face his deepest fears. They have yet to even know their own fears. Until now….

” TMG ” proceeds

” TMG ” Justin Case: You see, until now Hardcore Entertainment thought they were on top of the world. But now, now its time for them to fall back down to earth! Its now time Hardcore Entertainment faces the truth. Its now time Bubba J and Vincent Black face their deepest fears!

What I mean is simple really. There are two very different, yet distant cousins, that are very dear to Black and Bubba. They need to be brought up. Because if not faced with and dealt with, these two factors can build up inside a person and cause serious, if not deadly, reactions. So without further adieu, I bring to you the two ” fear factors ” that Hardcore Entertainment will soon have to face. The first factor is Anger. The second factor is Forgiveness. These are the two ” fear factors ” that Vincent Black and Bubba J will soon have to deal with when its time to face the truth. And once the truth comes out, It will be those two ” Fear Factors ” that will present themselves in such ways that it will bring each man down to his knees!!

So we will end on this. Face your fears and face the truth but failure to egknowledge the truth will end in your bitter demise!

Justin Case U didnt know…..

WRL speaks

WRL: …..We R Simply Amazing!!

The three men then drop the mics as their theme music hits up and they exit the ring. And proceed into the backstage area, as we head to commercial break.

*****WHAT’S IN A FECAL BEAGLE?*****

The scene opens up to a tavern that looks similar to the Hardcore Drinking establishments we see plastered all over Rebel Pro these days. A man in blue-jeans and a plaid shirt approaches the bar, making his way past all kinds of hot chicks with only half their clothes on dancing with guys who are all buff and stuff. The man reaches the bar and begins waving down the bartender with his hand he says:

Man: Give me a

Fecal Beagle Sourmash!

The bartender turns around, the camera pans across the country where we see a fat, retired truck driver eating a can of corn. The next scene shows that same truck driver going to the restroom. When he flushes, the camera goes down the piping to what appears to be a plantation. A worker uses a net to remove the feces from the water and dumps it into a bin. The bin gets dumped into a pit where women walk around in a circle barefoot, smashing it down into liquid. The liquid is then pumped out into a keg and the keg is shipped out.

Returning to the bar, the bartender pulls the handle on the same keg and fills up a frosty mug with Fecal Beagle Sourmash! The patron takes a drink, smiles and looks into the camera.

Man: Now THAT tastes like shit!

Voice Over: Fecal Beagle Sourmash! Ask for it by name! — Now with every Fecal Beagle Sourmash you order, get a free beer coaster made of corrugated toilet paper that Loren N. Chill previously used to wipe his ass with!

*****Sexy Time Continues!*****

“Gasoline” by Audioslave hits the sound system as Violet Harper comes out from backstage to a roaring crowd, very much happy with their second-tier champion and what she had to do to keep her title. Violet is banged up quite a bit from last week’s match, but she still has her gorgeous smile and a smoking body. She makes it to the ring as “Gasoline” dies down, and Violet takes a mic offered up from Jenny Jersey.

VIOLET HARPER: WHAT’S UP WEST VIRGINIA?!

The crowd explodes again, and she’s filled with smiles and probably candy.

VIOLET HARPER: The better Virginia that’s for sure!

But probably not.

VIOLET HARPER: You know last week was probably one of the toughest matches of my short career and JT Whiplash took me to my limit and tested me in every way possible. He should get a boatload of credit for his efforts at Prove Your Worth!, which despite his loss I think he proved it a few times over don’t you folks?

The crowd cheers, a “WHIP-LASH” chant breaking out. Violet is still all smiles.

VIOLET HARPER: Moving along then! I need a new challenger! Now, I heard that Jaice Wilds thinks he’s just going to make himself the number one contender to my belt. Sure, Jaice, I suppose you could do that but it really falls on what Simon Kalis has in store for me. I’ve already beaten you before in singles competition; I defeated you, Case, and Legion in the TLC match. But, you want to come at me a third time, because you think it’s a charm? It’s only going to get you your third ass-kicking by me, Jaice. You got lucky at PYW when Panzadise interfered in your match and gave you the win against Lucious Starr. You got lucky you still have a career. Quite frankly I don’t think you’ve earned a shot at my belt!

LINZI MARTIN: She’s so right!

The crowd agrees.

VIOLET HARPER: But I’ll tell you what, Jaice. Your match is coming up next. I’m going to take a seat next to my hot friend Linzi Martin over there and keep a close eye on what you do inside this ring. If you can prove to me tonight that you have what it takes to be the number one contender to my Awesome Championship by beating Virgil Keenan decisively, then you’ll get your wish. Of course, this is all barring Simon Kalis’ approval. It’s his show, babe.

Violet hands the mic back over to Jenny Jersey, and climbs out of the ring with the Aggression Championship over her shoulder. She grabs a chair and sits down next to Linzi Martin, who’s just shocked as all hell that her sexy crush is so close to her. Jenny Jersey starts making the announcements for the next match.

*****Jaice Wilds versus Virgil Keenan*****

They immediately rush each other and clash in the middle of the ring. Virgil with a right, Jaice with a left. Virgil sends out an elbow that catches poor Wilds square in the chin, twisting his head around. Wilds stumbles back but lashes out with a stiff kick to the gut of Virgil Keenan. Wilds bounces off the ropes with a springboard back elbow, and catches Virgil square in the face. Virgil spins around and then keels forward, Wilds with a spinning DDT out of no where crushes Keenans face against the canvas. Jaice Wilds decides to go for a quick cover.

1!

Batman: Crikey this is exciting.

2!!

Violet Harper: I thought you were Batman not the Crocodile Hunter.

KICK OUT!

Linzi Martin: I thought all Australians said crikey.

Keenan kicks out at the two, and throws the much smaller Jaice Wilds off of him. Keenan back to his feet and grabs Jaice as Wilds gets to his, hammerlock DDT takes Jaice Wilds down and clean. Keenan back up, as Jaice wilds sits up and holds his head feeling groggy. Keenan with a lariat to the seated Wilds! The crowd cheers the fighters on, hoping for more violence and more blood we imagine.

Batman: Gee wilikers Violet, one of these guys could be your opponent in the very near future! How’s that make you feel?

Wilds spins around on his back, flipping himself back onto his feet and then with a jumping clothesline takes down Virgil.

Violet Harper: Sure, it doesn’t really matter to me either way sweety. I’ve proven to Jaice twice I can take him down.

Virgil rolls out of the ring and to the outside, and is a bit slow to get up. Jaice Wilds hops up onto the top rope and then springboards himself off with a spectacular cross body splash. Jaice Wilds unleashes a fury of lefts and rights on the downed Keenan before getting to his feet and climbing up onto the apron. He hops onto the ropes and goes for an asai moonsault… Virgil catches him! PILEDRIVER ONTO THE GROUND! The crowd loves it! Wilds holds his neck in pain, his feet kicking the ground.

Linzi Martin: Oh, Jaice might be hurt there.

Batman: So what, you don’t worry about Virgil Keenan?

Keenan lifts Wilds up to his feet by his neck, cracking his elbow down across the back of Jaice’s neck before whipping him shoulder first into the steel steps. Jaice hit’s the steel and flips over, landing hard on the other side.

Violet Harper: He’s certainly interesting but he’s got a lot to prove yet.

Linzi Martin: Jaice looks hurt.

Jaice crawls away, or tries to. Virgil comes up behind him and lifts off the top half of the steel steps and raises them over his head. He launches it down at Jaice but Jaice rolls out of the way right in time. Jaice leaps up to his feet, spinning neck breaker on Virgil! Both men are on the outside of the ring, breathing hard. Jaice is up first, and grabs Virgil and throws him into the ring. Jaice slides in but out of no where, Virgil grabs him and pins him with a school boy!

1!

2!!

THREE-KICK OUT! Jaice kicks out JUST before the 3!

Virgil uses the referees help to pull himself to his feet, and by help we mean he grabs onto the referee and uses him as leverage. Jaice rushes forward. A Superkick neck breaker! But Virgil throws the referee in and lets him take the full force of the move, knocking him down and out! Jaice looks worried as he checks up on the referee, but Virgil Keenan turns and stalks him.

Violet Harper: Well this looks fun.

Linzi Martin: Not as fun as being here with you sexy.

Violet Harper: Aw, you’re so sweet.

Batman: I… err… My batdick senses are tingling.

Linzi Martin: MARVIN!

Violet Harper: Hahaha.

Batman: Errr… Hmm.

As Jaice gets back up and turns around, he runs right into the Burning Hammer from Virgil Keenan! The crowd jumps to their feet, Virgil covers!

1!

2!!

3!!!!

Except Virgil was the one slapping the canvas with his free hand. He lets go of Jaice and begins slapping the referee around to get him awake. Jaice meanwhile rolls out of the ring and shoves that top half of the steel steps into the ring, quickly moving to get back into the ring. Virgil turns around and shakes his head, as if he’s going to be caught off guard by something like this. Jaice is still wobbly after the Burning Hammer too. Virgil grapples him, Tiger suplex into a pin!!!

…

…….

The referee is finally awake.

1!

2!!

KICK OUT! JAICE WILDS KICKS OUT!

Violet Harper: Well I’ll be!

Linzi Martin: With me?!

Violet Harper: Oh you’re a slick one.

Batman: *odd hand movements*

Virgil shakes his head as both men get to their feet. Jaice is still a bit wobbly. Virgil grapples him again but this time Jaice swings himself around, jumping Russian leg sweep onto the steel steps!!! Jaice quickly gets to the corner and heads to the top turnbuckle. AERIAL ACE!!! He covers Virgil!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Violet Harper: Well damn, lots of screw jobs going around these days huh? Poor Virgil.

Linzi Martin: Not enough if you ask me. Hehe.

Batman: I am NOT a virgin!

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… JAICE WILDS!!!

Jaice has his hand raised by the referee then looks over the top rope to yell out to Violet Harper. Jaice makes title motions with his hands over his waist.

Violet Harper: Oh look the little man wants things. What he should be doing is paying attention to the guy who should’ve won, behind him.

Violet points to Jaice, but actually to Virgin who stands much taller than Jaice. Virgil has the steel steps back in his hands and slams them down across the back of Jaice Wilds neck. Jaice flips over the top rope and onto the outside.

Linzi Martin: Isn’t Violet awesome? Always right about everything.

Violet Harper: We should do this again some other time.

Virgil hoists the steel steps up onto the top turnbuckle and climbs up to the middle ropes. Jaice Wilds turns himself over onto his back and looks up in shock. Violet stands up and nods, perhaps impressed, as Virgil chucks the heavy steel steps off the top rope and right onto Jaice Wilds. Virgil then looks at Violet and just nods, as Violet smiles and slaps the hands of fans as she makes her way backstage.

*****The Truth Shall Make You Bleed*****

An unmasked Taboo and “The Show” Chad Kurtis are backstage. They’re dressed in business casual clothing, since they aren’t wrestling tonight. Taboo looks into the camera while Kurtis stands behind him.

TABOO: Case, Logan… you know, Chad and I know, everyone in this arena tonight, everyone in the arena last week, and everyone watching on television knows you only won your match because the referee didn’t see my arm draped over Logan’s body. It was luck, pure and simple. Sure, up until the point, you two were going toe-to-toe with Style Clash, but the winner wasn’t determined by skill. No, no!

KURTIS: That’s right, Allen. Style Clash was robbed, but we’re not two to sit around and and bitch and moan about this decision or that. The ref easily could’ve seen Taboo first and the match would’ve turned out otherwise. All we can do is control the future and that’s what we’re here to do! Justin Case, Rocky Logan. We know you have your eyes set on Hardcore Entertainment, and you should! But when that dust has settled, Style Clash wants the Case Filed Rockets ONE MORE TIME! If you have the straps, then put up and put ‘em on the line. If you don’t have the straps, then Style Clash just wants an opportunity to show the world that we ARE the best tag team in this company and what happened last week was happenstance!

TABOO: What do you say, fellas? Speak it over with that fat fuck Hugh Aredone and get back to us.

*****The Reawakening*****

A video begins playing on the big screen inside the arena as we fade from view from Taboo and Kurtis. It shows a young lady and her mother shopping in an upscale mall, both seem quite unaware that there is a camera following them. For those familiar with the NAPW, you just might recognize these two as Taboo’s ex-wife and daughter. An unrecognizable yet still somewhat familiar voice begins to speak.

Voice: Taboo, I’m coming back. And I must thank you. You see, I walked away from this sport a few months ago because I just didn’t care anymore. I had lost the drive to keep going.

The two woman leave a clothing store each holding several shopping bags. Both still blissfully ignorant to the potential danger they’re in.

Voice: Seeing you again has re-awoken the demon inside me. Re-awoken the passion I once had for this game we play.

The two women are walking towards a small bistro inside the mall. They take there seats and each order’s a mineral water while they look over the menu.

Voice: Taboo, you and I are forever linked, our fates forever entwined. You were there at the beginnings of my journey. And I will be there to end yours.

The camera zooms in for a close up of the younger of the two women.

Voice: She is pretty isn’t she Taboo? The best qualities from mother and father combined with youthful innocence. One day she may even forgive you for choosing this sport over her. But she will never forgive you for bringing me into her life.

The camera starts moving towards her as it cuts to black.

*****What Makes a REBEL?*****

“All Right Now” by Free cues up and Mikey Massacre emerges from the curtain. The fans greet him with mostly boos. He tells them to relax, that he will explain everything, but they aren’t listening. He rolls his eyes at them and rolls into the ring, a microphone in his hand. His music cuts.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Alright, alright, everyone. Relax. I think I’ve earned the right to explain myself, haven’t I?

Boos.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Over three years in this company and… this is how I am treated?

Boos.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Well, maybe after I explain myself, you’ll see things from my perspective. Look, I know I went a little overboard. I hear Lisa’s eye is hurt real bad… and that’s unfortunate. It’s not really her fault. She was the recipient of a lot of anger. Anger that was somewhat misplaced. So, for that, I apologize.

Less boos, but now with a LISA SELDON chant.

MIKEY MASSACRE: But for the past year, I’ve been sitting at that announce table, having to watch the promotion I created, the promotion that was built with my sweat, my blood and with years off of my life…

He looks around.

MIKEY MASSACRE: It has turned to shit!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Bubba and Vinny, they make their points about REBEL Pro having gone soft, and I appreciate what they have to say. In some ways, they are right. But it is much more than that. Those two hillbillies aren’t smart enough to know what REBEL really needs. Where things really went wrong. REBEL Pro… has sold out. And you know what? I’m not the only one who thinks so!

The fans boo more. They love the REBEL Pro of today.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And you know what? Look around. If the person next to you is booing me, and doesn’t believe that Simon Kalis has ruined this promotion, that the days of Rob Martinez and Gordon were the good old days, the golden age… then that person next to you has sold out too.

The fans boo him as LISA SELDON and BUBBA VINNY BUBBA VINNY chants erupt.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh, come on, give me five minutes of your time!

Nope.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Dammit! I’m Mikey FUCKING Massacre! I built this fucking place! I gave you shelter! I gave all of you a place to call home because you were unsatisfied in your everyday nine-to-five lives! Dammit, you selfish pricks… I gave you all a REASON to LIVE!

MIKEY MASSACRE: You treat me like this? FUCK YOU! I’M OUT!

The fans continue to boo as some trash is thrown in the ring. Mikey looks out, incredibly angry, in disbelief that he is being treated like this. He climbs up the turnbuckle and gives the dual salute before jumping off and leaving the ring. He gives the finger to the more vocal of his detractors as he leaves to “Heavy Metal Machine” by Smashing Pumpkins

*****Grudge Match****
*****Vicious Vic Wagner(PWA) versus Bubba J(REBEL)*****

DING DING DING

Batman: There’s the bell, and we are underway…

Linzi Martin: This might be a week late, but it’s better late than never!

Bubba J and Vic Wagner immediately walk up to each other in the center of the ring, getting nose to nose with smack-talk as referee Jimmy Johnson tries to step in between them. Wagner shoves away the referee as Bubba J then tosses the referee over the top rope as the two men start tagging each other with lefts and rights as the crowd is on their feet.

Batman: They’re not wasting any time here early on!

Linzi Martin: Let’s get it on, boys!

As the fans are on their feet, Bubba J starts to get the upper hand with some hard punches to the face of Vic Wagner as he whips Wagner into the ropes, only for Wagner to reverse it and as Wagner tries to telegraph it into a back-drop, Bubba J counters with a hard kick to the face.

Batman: We’re not going to see a whole lot of catch-as-catch can wrestling here… this is going to be an all-out fight!

Linzi Martin: If you’re a wrestling purist, this won’t be your type of match!

Bubba J then catches Wagner with a DDT following the kick to the face. Bubba J then digs into his jeans pocket and pulls out a fork. He then proceeds to dig it into the forehead of Vic Wagner, carving a double “R” into his forehead.

Batman: WHOA! Bubba J not wasting ANY time breaking out the weaponry here…

Linzi Martin: This could get really ugly, really quick.

Bubba J then finishes carving into the now bloody forehead of Vic Wagner. He then turns his back on Wagner to play to the fans, only to get met by a Roaring Elbow Smash from Wagner, right to Bubba J’s face. A stunned Bubba J then gets caught with a textbook Butterfly Suplex by Wagner before Wagner goes to apply a Rear Naked Choke. Bubba J, upon being locked in the submission hold, gets a crazed look in his eyes as he slowly gets to his feet with Vic Wagner in a piggy-back position as Bubba J rams Wagner back-first into the turnbuckles.

Batman: I know Bubba J’s not big on “wrestling”, per se… but one has to be impressed with the counter he just came up with to avoid the submission there!

Linzi Martin: Even with that counter, he’s still having to catch his breath.

As Bubba J drops to one knee to catch his breath for a moment, Vic Wagner rolls down to the arena floor, clutching at his back. Bubba J finally rolls to the outside and reaches under the ring to pull out a pair of brass knuckles with thumb-tacks on the left hand and broken glass on the right hand as he holds them up in the air for a moment, before charging Vic with a Lou Thesz Press, tagging him with lefts and rights, leaving Wagner a bloody mess.

Batman: DAMN! Wagner is going to be feeling THOSE punches in the morning…

Linzi Martin: That’s just sadistic right there!

Bubba J then jumps off of Wagner and spits on him as he reaches under the ring again, looking for something as he finally pulls out a barbed-wire-wrapped hangman’s noose. He then proceeds to wrap it around Wagner’s neck as Bubba J gets back in the ring with Wagner still on the outside as he starts to pulls back on the rope and attempt to hang Wagner as he laughs sadistically at Wagner bleeding around the neck and flailing his arms to try and avoid being hung.

Batman: Now that gives new meaning to the expression “hanging someone out to dry”…

Linzi Martin: Or to bleed in the case of Vic Wagner.

As Bubba J releases the noose, a few fans chant “WE WANT BLOOD! WE WANT BLOOD!” as Bubba J shouts back “Well, you’re gittin’ it!”

Batman: And a few rocket scientists in the crowd chanting for blood…

Linzi Martin: I think the results of their IQ test probably came back negative.

As Bubba J plays to the fans, it gives time for Vic Wagner to get to one knee on the outside. Bubba J then goes outside and charges Wagner, but gets caught with a drop-toe hold into the near-by time-keeper’s chair, busting open Bubba J in the process.

Batman: Well, that certainly back-fired for Bubba J!

Linzi Martin: And now… Vic Wagner goes on the offensive!

Wagner then picks up Bubba J for some Trapping Headbutts to open his wound even further, and after a series of those, he does an over-head belly-to-belly suplex to Bubba J. An infuriated Wagner then removes the protective mats from ring-side and picks up Bubba J for a Cradle Piledriver, drilling him head-first into the concrete as the fans collective gasp in horror.

Batman: Vic Wagner is not just out to win this match, he’s out to cripple Bubba J!

Linzi Martin: Thank you, Captain Obvious!

Wagner then picks up a practically dead-weight Bubba J and pushes him back into the ring as he goes for a pin-fall as referee Jimmy Johnson goes to make the count.

Batman: Here’s the first pin-fall attempt of the match…

One…

Two…

Linzi Martin: Bubba J manages to kick out at two and a half!

Wagner then proceeds to stomp on Bubba J before he picks him up from behind and crosses his arms for a Straight Jacket Suplex, which he delivers to perfection as he holds onto the arms for another pinning predicament.

Batman: Once again, Wagner tries to go for the pin….

One…

Two…

Linzi Martin: No! STILL not enough to keep Bubba J down!

Wagner then drags a nearly lifeless Bubba J to the center of the ring and motions “It’s Over!” as he goes to climb the top rope, but on his way up to the top rope, Bubba J wobbily gets to his feet and desperately falls back into the ropes, crotching Wagner as Bubba J goes up top and hits a Top Rope Superplex as both men are now down for the ten count.

Batman: Both men are now down and referee Jimmy Johnson is administering his ten count!

One!

Two!

Three!

Linzi Martin: Neither man is stirring as of yet…

Four!

Five!

Batman: It looks like Bubba J is starting to stir!

Six!

Linzi Martin: Still no signs of life from Wagner…

Seven!

Batman: Bubba J gets back to his feet and manages to picks up Vic Wagner as this match continues!

Bubba J then delivers a short-arm clothesline to Wagner, turning him inside out as Bubba J then goes back to the outside, searching under the ring again.

Linzi Martin: What could he be looking for NOW?

Bubba J then starts to roll whiskey and beer bottles inside the confides of the ring as the fans buzz in anticipation of what might be coming.

Batman: This could be interesting…

Bubba J then picks Wagner back up, whipping him into the ropes, and delivering a nasty spine-buster right onto the beer and whiskey bottles as the crowd explodes into a “RE-BEL PRO! RE-BEL PRO!” chant.

Linzi Martin: DEAR GOD! That was BRUTAL!

As Bubba J gets back to his feet, he then once again goes back under the ring briefly to pull out some lighter fluid, a lighter, and a pack of cigarettes.

Batman: I’m not sure I want to know what Bubba J is about to do right now!

Bubba J then pours the lighter fluid down the front of a barely conscious Vic Wagner’s trunks. He then lights up his lighter and proceeds to light the genitals of Vic Wagner on fire as Bubba J laughs sadistically and proceeds to smoke a cigarette as referee Jimmy Johnson quickly grabs a bottle of water and douses out the flames, leaving Wagner holding his groin area in a world of hurt.

Linzi Martin: HOLY SHIT! I can’t believe Bubba J just did that!

Batman: And to top it all off… the guy is smoking a cigarette watching Vic Wagner’s balls being “roasted”!

Bubba J then finishes smoking his cigarette as Wagner keeps holding his genitals in pain. Finally, Bubba J ambles back over toward Wagner, but is met with a desperation eye rake as Wagner struggles to his feet, wincing in pain. Wagner then levels Bubba J with a discus clothesline as Wagner continues to clutch his nether-regions in pain. When Bubba J gets back to his feet, Wagner catches him with a chop block and proceeds to kick the crap out of Bubba J’s left knee. A furious Wagner then drags the legs of Bubba J into the ring-post as he then goes to the outside of the ring, hooking on a ring-post figure four leg-lock on Bubba J as he holds on to it as long as possible before finally releasing the hold.

Linzi Martin: It looks like even with his man-hood burnt, Vic Wagner has fought back and now has Bubba J reeling in pain!

Wagner then drags a couple of chairs into ring-side as he threads one chair around Bubba J’s left knee and then proceeds to smash Bubba J’s knee with the other chair three times before throwing the chair down in disgust on Bubba J’s knee. Wagner then proceeds to lock a clearly injured Bubba J in an elevated single leg crab as Bubba J screams out in pain.

Batman: Wagner has just zeroed in on that injured left knee and seems to be hell-bent on CRIPPLING Bubba J tonight!

Linzi Martin: Bubba J’s in a BAD, BAD way right now…

Bubba J starts trying to fight the hold as he desperately moves toward the ropes, fighting, scratching, and clawing for them with every last ounce of strength left in him as he finally reaches the ropes. Wagner then drags an almost unconscious Bubba J to the center of the ring and once again tries to go for a top rope move. As he balances himself, he goes for a Top Rope Guillotine Legdrop, but there is no water in the pool as Bubba J rolls out of the way at the last possible second.

Batman: Wagner missed it! He missed the leg-drop!

Linzi Martin: And now Bubba J has a new lease on life… but is that leg too damaged for him to capitalize?

Bubba J struggles to his feet and manages to pick up Vic Wagner and drop him with a Front Suplex onto one of the chairs left in the ring. This allows Bubba J to go back to the outside of the ring and pull a few more toys, of sorts, out from under the ring. This time, he pulls out a glass bottle, barbed-wire, and light-tube covered table and what appears to be a purple double-ended dildo wrapped in barbed wire.

Batman: I believe that purple double-ended dildo wrapped in barbed-wire is a tribute to Krusty Kid Paul!

Linzi Martin: That’s MY dild-errrm… never mind…

Bubba J then limps over toward Wagner and starts scraping his mouth out with that barbed-wire wrapped double-ended dildo as Wagner screams out in pain. Bubba J then tosses the dildo in the direction of Batman and begins to set up the specialty table inside the ring. But Bubba J wags his finger to indicate that he’s not done as he then pulls out a 15-foot ladder and sets it up inside the ring as he slowly starts to climb up the ladder. But Wagner is also climbing the ladder as both men start tagging each other with elbow strikes on the the ladder with the crowd cheering every time Bubba J hits Wagner, and booing when Wagner hits Bubba J. Eventually, Bubba J gets the upper hand, holds Wagner in position for a Fallaway Slam, but falls forward with a big body splash through the table as both men are a bloody mess and the fans are chanting. “HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!”

Batman: HOLY SHIT IS RIGHT! This looks like a car wreck…

Linzi Martin: When you put two guys who hate each other in a ring with a ladder and a glass and barbed-wire covered table… the results will be MESSY, BABY!

Bubba J then crawls to his hands and knees, shaking his head causing blood to fly from his various facial lacerations and he starts to cough up blood. But eventually, Bubba J gets back up to his feet and reaches under the ring one last time to pull out a set of thumb-tack covered football shoulder pads.

Batman: I’m not sure I want to know what is about to go down here…

Bubba J straps on the shoulder pads, weakly picks up Wagner, and delivers a Trailer Park Trash (Stunner) onto the shoulder pads as Wagner goes down in a bloody heap, but Bubba J falls on his back too in exhaustion.

Linzi Martin: Trailer Park Trash! But Bubba J is down as well!

Batman: COVER HIM, BUBBA! COVER HIM NOW!

Bubba J weakly manages to cover Vic Wagner as referee Jimmy Johnson makes the count.

Linzi Martin: Here’s the cover…

One…

Two…

Three…

Batman: He got hi-

Linzi Martin: NO! WAGNER BARELY GETS THE SHOULDER UP!

Bubba breathes heavily, looking over at Wagner in utter disbelief as he pulls himself to his feet. Vic gets to his feet too after a short while. Bubba goes back on the attack, but Vic moves himself out of the way and it sends Bubba right into the corner turnbuckle. Vic grabs Bubba from behind, smashing his head repeatedly against the turnbuckle before taking him up top.

Batman: Bang! Pow! KABLAM It looks like Vic might be taking Bubba up for that Gallows Humour thing he does.

Linzi Martin: Don’t ever make sound effects again, please.

Vic seems to be setting Bubba up but Bubba cracks Vic across the face with a stiff right. Two middle fingers for his trouble! Bubba throws himself off the middle turnbuckle, but as he goes down he grabs Vic by the neck! TRAILER PARK TRASH OFF THE MIDDLE ROPES! Vic bounces up, then hit’s the canvas. Bubba throws himself over Vic one more time.

1!

2!!

3!!!

Linzi Martin: Oh, shit.

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… BUBBA J!

Bubba has no time to celebrate at all, as out from the back comes Legion! Mammon and Piggy are with him, and they don’t look like they’re coming out to congratulate Bubba either.

Batman: By Zeus! This looks like trouble, Linzi!

Linzi Martin: No shit. And, what the fuck is in Legions hand?! Is that a gas canister?!

Legion slides into the ring, Mammon and Piggy with him as Wagner takes this opportune moment to get out of the ring. It took everything out of Bubba to beat Wagner, and it doesn’t help that Piggy wraps a thick chain around Bubbas neck and hoists him up to his knees. Mammon stomps down onto Bubba’s chest and legs as Legion begins pouring gasoline all over Bubba J.

Batman: Gee wilikers Bubba is about to get BBQ’d.

Legion strikes a match as Mammon and Piggy back up, Bubba keels forward choking. But!

Linzi Martin: It’s Vincent Black! Vincent Black to the rescue!!

Vincent comes running from the back and grabs the two ends of the chains and pulls Bubba out of the ring by his noose. He takes the chains off of Bubba and helps him up. Legion shakes his head and scoffs at this as Bubba is helped backstage.

Batman: And Vinny with the rescue!

Linzi Martin: I said that already.

Batman: But I’m Batman.

Linzi Martin: No, you’re not. But we’re out of time folks. God damn if Legion isn’t one scary looking guy. Though… Depending how he looks under that mask, I could see myself as his personal breeder. If you get my meaning.

Batman: Oh my.

Linzi Martin: For uhm, Marvin Humperdink!

Batman: BATMAN!

Linzi Martin: I’m Linzi Martin! See you next week!

We fade out to one last shot of Legion, Piggy and Mammon in the ring as Legion points directly to Bubba J.

*****Electric Bugaloo!*****

Hey, remember that strange thingamajig with that uber sleek package? Turns out it invited itself into the only office you actually have in this bitch which at this moment, seems to be empty. You would’ve totally figured that out if you people actually watch the skits. Duh. After nearly tripping over themselves, they finally notice the cameradouche that’s been following the entire time. The robotic arms shed the trenchcoat.

PuppetLisa: Told you this place was a dump.

Sparkle: Needs a good scrubbing.

Anna Mathews: Ai kinda like it.

If either of the other two actually had movable features, they be making the “WTF?” face. Regardless, the Seldontastic Doppelganger starts to measure the room while mumbling something about “stupid RealLisa” and “selling out as lapdogs”. The Totally Real Title retracts her claws and joins in. Anna pulls out three cakes from the box before sitting them down gingerly on the desks. Triple chocolate, red velvet, and pineapple upside down. Yum.

Anna Mathews: We’re savin ReelLisa’s lyef bi mesuring everything so’s she doesn’t stumble on anny fing.

PuppetLisa: Like you’d ever do that for me.

The human sits on a certain boss-as- leather overlord chair and twirls.

Anna Mathews: Nao dat’s nawt tru. I’d do it in a heartbeat. But Lisa needs the help after the stoopid old Rebel shmucks got 2 her. Dunno wat teh deal is anyhow. She’s their champ!

Sparkle: Perhaps she doesn’t bleed enough for certification.

Her head instashakes at the notion.

Anna Mathews: She could cover hurrself with pigs und they still won’t be happy.

The Puppet withdraws her measuring tape.

PuppetLisa: Twenty smurfs by fifty smurfs. And you don’t have to lie. We know the real reason why you’re here.

Sparkle: You want to nurse your Simon back to health.

The twirling stops as the “not impressed” face starts.

Anna Mathews: Ish not true.

Her sidekicks, knowing better, snicker. They also sing a little song. You know the type. Anna and Simon in a tree! – - – -I-N…is that a brick?

PuppetLisa: OW! Bitch.

Fast cut to the Queen of the Dodos and her mighty brickzooka. She smirks.

Anna Mathews: Joo deserved it.

PuppetLisa: She was singing it too!

Brick to the faceplate.

Sparkle: Ouch! So was he!

The hunter’s head whips towards the cameraman. He innocence. Boom! Brick to the balls. The scene slowly…moves…down with a whimper.

Anna Mathews: Gawd. They don’t make cameramen lyke they used ta.

With that, we fade to the REBEL Pro logo.

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Bobby Lee defeats Loren N. Chill, thus making Chill the 2^nd Curtain Jerker Champ in history.
Jaice Wilds defeats Virgil Keenan, and both men find themselves with Sexy Time Blues
Bubba J defeats Vicious Vic Wagner in the match of the eon, because fuck Phoenix that’s why.

*****Aliens, Russia & The FDA*****

“I know their base of operation is around…”

He screams as he looks at a 50 gallon drum marked “Popcorn Butter” Running away, he trips and a bag of kernels falls on him, causing him to scream in even more pain and fear.

“Please no Mr. Doofler Zenaboli… I’m only doing as ordered by the voices in my head.”

He begins to whimper as he notices his aluminium helmet laying ten feet from him.

“Please….”

He screams even louder, his hands flying up to his head.

“I just want… I just want…”

Something causes the barrel to tip over, dousing him in popcorn butter and his screams die away into whimpers.

“I’ve lost any of my strength now, but I vow revenge against the Zeti Reticuli! I will take you down with the plans that the Russian Government are using to destroy the Food and Health Administration!”

A chittering laughing noise is heard as another bag of kernels are dumped onto our hapless Curtain Jerker Champion. But that isn’t all, just as Bobby Lee starts to whimper, a box of popcorn salt and more butter drench him.

We fade to the arena, the lights dim and the REBELTron lights up…

*****Prove. Your. Worth.*****

The dust blows, the wind whistles the silent song of peace. His foot digs deep into the sand as he takes a step forward. He taps his sword against his shield, his eyes shining out in the midst of his dusty and dirty helmet. His opponent walks forward, slowly and cautiously with nothing more than a spear in his hand, and a dented helmet protecting his skull.

The dust blows, the wind whistles the silent song of peace.

The crowds are brimming in the colliseum. Screaming, chanting. Drinking, fucking. Both men look around, all we hear is the silence. The call is heard.

Voiceover: Since the dawn of time, mankind has done battle.

The men form up, the gates open and the lions are released. The first drops to his knee, his shield up and his sword ready. The blade glistens in the sunlight, the sand whirling behind each step of the approaching lions. The second widens his stance, his back to the first. His spear raised high, his eyes locked. Predator to predator.

Voiceover: We had to fight back the world around us. The beasts that came for our blood.

The second launches his spear, as the first lion leaps forward. The lions mane blows back in the wind, the crowd is begging for blood, the aristocrats are sipping their wine and rubbing their fat bellies.

Voiceover: We had to fight for our very right to live on this Earth.

The spear connects, quickly the first man pulls himself to his feet as the other lion launches himself towards him. He raises his shield, sliding back on the heels of his feet as he falls back. The lion hits his shield, now its weight crushing him as he continues his slide through the sand. But his sword… His sword is now wedged deeply into the lions chest.

Voiceover: We fought for dominance. We fought for survival.

Everything stops. The first man rips his sword out of the lion, who labours for his last breathes. The second rips his spear out, and now they turn to each other. A single droplet of rain hit’s the sand. “To Glory” by Two Steps From Hell kicks in over the background.

Voiceover: And as with all things, our battles evolved. It wasn’t just a matter of dominance, or survival anymore.

The men turn their attention to the ruling class who sit high above the crowds, overlooking the pit.

Voiceover: We were Pioneers with a new vision for the entire planet. Our vision.

A single man, his body wrapped in loose white sheets arched over one shoulder stands to his feet. The crowd is clamouring for more blood. More violence. The aristocrat looks towards the skies, his arms stretched out as he speaks- but we do not hear him.

The rain begins a full heavy down pour, washing the blood into the sand.

Voiceover: We fought, we struggled and carved out our place. No surrender, only Victory.

The aristocrat salutes forward, and the two warriors begin circling each other. The crowd is in the throws of passion, some even throwing their clothes off to feel the rain against their skin. The second readies his spear, the first readies his sword and shield.

Voiceover: We were, and are, constantly discovering new things about our world and ourselves. It is the battle, the war, which has driven our advancement through time above all others. With Blazenwings, we soared to new heights with the trail of fire in our wake.

They engage, the loud clash of the spear attempting to pierce the shield resonates with the crowd. The spearman thrusts, thrusts, pushing the swordsman back. The swordsman trips over the carcass of one of the lions, on his back now. The spearman is ferocious, but unfocused as he lays a barrage of attacks on the backtracking swordsman.

Voiceover: But… When all else fails. When the Pioneers fall. When there is no Victory. When the Blazenwings are doused unto ashes and our backs are against the wall…

The swordsman rolls, jumping to his feet. The spearman strikes, piercing him on the right side and pushing the swordsman against the wall. The shield drops. He looks down. The spearman pulls it out and spins, raising his arms to the crowd as the swordsman slides down, his back against the wall, clutching his wound.

Voiceover: It takes one special kind of warrior. Someone who will never give up. Someone who will never accept fate, but who forges their own destiny.

There are brilliant flashes now. Quickly, as the swordsman gets to his feet, his hands grabbing the bloodied sands into his palm. Flash.

Bubba J and Vincent Black raising their Tag Team titles, Seldon shrugging as she walks off and Emily Corlen decimated in the ring.

Voiceover: They who dare to do the undoable.

The swordsman breathes deeply, flash.

We see a woman in the crowd from the colliseum, a copperhead snake coiled around her before we see a flash of J.T. Whiplash making his triumphant return as he stands over Lucious Starr and Gabe Shelley.

Voiceover: They who don’t know when it’s time to quit and give up.

The swordsman closes his eyes, wiping the blood from his side over his face as he throws his helmet off.

Flash. Gabe Shelley taps his knee, and looks up. Alexia can be seen shrouded, a smirking JC Shelley close behind.

Voiceover: Those who don’t let the pain get in the way of their battles.

The swordsman stumbles forward, piercing his sword into the ground but then lifting his arms into the air. The crowds cheer, screaming for more.

Flash. We see “Wreckless” Rocky Logan, with “The Millennium Game” Justin Case back to back, arms crossed and smirking as Hugh Aredone stands in front of them with a cocky smile.

Voiceover: Those who can do it, and make it look good.

The swordsman grabs his shield and hoists it up, even amidst his pain he has the strength. The sword is back in his hand now. The crowd is almost in a frenzy, following his every movement.

Flash. We see Legion, surrounded by his congregation.

Voiceover: They who are the true leaders of this world, whom men and women flock to for strength and leadership.

The swordsman begins running forward, putting his shield to a slant as he hit’s the spearman in the back, sliding over his back using his shield before flipping over in front of him and slashing him across the chest with his sword. The blood tears through the air, hitting his face.

Flash. Violet Harper. Bloodied. Battered, but standing with the Aggression title.

Voiceover: They who even at their greatest moment of peril and pain, rise above to conquer their doubters.

The swordsman unleashes a flurry of strikes, the spearman has no idea how to react as his flesh is ripped off his body and he stumbles back, hitting the ground.

Flash. Taboo and Chad Kurtis. The images like clouds of their history and dominance rise above them as

we see them, their hands raised over a destroyed ring.

Voiceover: Those who just when you thought they were gone… Get pulled, right back in.

The swordsman lifts the spearman up, kicking his helmet off and grabbing his hair. He puts his sword to the spearmen’s neck. The spearman is already bleeding profusely, he is finished. But the swordsman looks around, listening to what the people want. They want blood.

Flash. We see Lisa Seldon, her head lowered as the backdrop shows her intense victories in the Kingdom of Death. Her obliteration of Justin Case. Of The Phoenix. Of the entire WORLD itself.

Voiceover: Most of all, they who no matter the odds… Win.

The swordsman slices the spearmans throat, his head hanging off his shoulders as the fountain of blood gushes skyward. The swordsman raises his arm, soaking in the moment.

Voiceover: These, men and women. Are known only by one name: REBEL!

Flash. Lisa Seldon again, looking up, a tilt of her head, a wink to the camera, and she raises the AoWF World title in one hand, and the REBEL Pro World title in the other.

Flash. The ring in the arena lights up in crimson red.

Voiceover: This, is their pit. The canvas, is their sand.

The music comes to its climax.

Voiceover: This… Is where you can PROVE! YOUR! WORTH!

Pyros explode all across the arena, whistling down from the rafters and popping off across the entrance ramp, stage and around the ring. The crowd is going nuts!

Voiceover: In association with The Alliance of Wrestling Federations! REBEL Pro Proudly PRESENTS! PROVE YOUR WORTH!

The crowd is going nuts, psyched out from the introductory video as we fade to Linzi Martin and of course, Mikey Massacre.

Linzi Martin: Wow that got me totally soaked.

Mikey Massacre: You mean stoked?

Linzi Martin: No, no. I meant soaked.

Mikey cocks an eyebrow.

Mikey Massacre: Welcome folks. I’m Mikey Massacre.

Linzi Martin: And I’m Violet Harpers number one fan, Linzi Martin.

Mikey rolls his eyes.

Mikey Massacre: And the show starts now! With not a moment to lose, we’ve got a Triple Threat match of Doom!

Linzi Martin: What’s that even me?

Mikey Massacre: Every match in a REBEL ring should be doom for the losers.

*****Triple Threat Match of DOOM*****
*****Virgil Keenan versus Bobby Lee versus Jimmy Henderson*****

“I Hear The Voices” by Uriah Heep hits as Bobby Lee steps out, shifty eyed and the like.

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first. He is the uhhh… Reigning Curtain Jerker Champion!!!

Bobby Lee throws his arms into the air and the fans cheer him on.

Jenny Jersey: BOBBY LEE!!!!!

Lee slides into the ring and stretches. He’s keeping a watchful eye on the rafters though, in case the Zeti Reticuli show up.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing next.

The lights in the arena as the beat for “American Bad Ass” by Kid Rock starts to kick the PA and red, white, and blue laser lights start to dance about the arena and then focus on the entrance ramp as they form the Confederate Battle Flag on the curtain and the screen shows a flutter Confederate Battle Flag itself and with the words “American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God”, Jimmy steps out from behind the curtain and starts to walk to the ring, wearing a Hoodie that has the Confederate Flag on the front with “Rebel Born, Rebel Bred, and when I die, I’ll be Rebel Dead” on the back, with black long shorts with another rebel flag on his right thigh and “ABA” in white down his left thigh, wearing black boots with grey kick-pads. The screen shows images of him walking to the ring, tagging with Marco Dante and Super-kicking Bronx Williams with a small caption of “Footage courtesy of Pioneer Wrestling Alliance and the AOWF” at the bottom.

Jenny Jersey: JIMMY HENDERSON!!!!!

As he nears the apron, he leaps up from the floor and slides in under the ropes like Evan Bourne would and he throws off the hoodie into the crowd as he climbs up the turnbuckle, throwing a fist into the air as he looks out over the crowd and suddenly, he’d back flip and lands on his feet back into the ring, then starts bouncing off the ropes to get the feel for the ring, the crowd, and the atmosphere, until the match starts or his opponent enters.

Jenny Jersey: And finally, their opponent…

“Blood Meat” hits and everyone turns their attention to the entrance ramp. At least the fans and Jimmy. Bobby Lee is still looking up.

Jenny Jersey: He hails from Alberta, Canada… He is…

Jenny is freaked out as Virgil Keenan rolls out from under the ring, slides in and immediately hit’s a forearm smash on Bobby Lee.

Jenny Jersey: VIRGIL KEENAN!

She gets outta there, quick.

DING DING DING

Virgil Keenan grabs Bobby Lee from behind, belly to back suplex. Jimmy Henderson runs over and immediately begins hitting some martial arts styled kicks on Virgil Keenan. Keenan rolls away, trying to cover himself as Henderson continues his assault. Bobby Lee looks around, eyes shifting back and forth between Henderson and Keenan. Henderson lifts Keenan up, snap suplex! Bobby Lee launches himself forward with a body splash across Henderson, taking both men down and out. As Bobby Lee gets up, he doesn’t notice Keenan is back up as well. Virgil with a springboard forearm smash on Bobby Lee! Bobby Lee goes flying inbetween the ropes and to the outside.

Linzi Martin: This match is chaotic!

Mikey Massacre: They are doomed!

Bobby Lee looks up, seeing the lights! He runs under the ring to hide and plan his next move, certain the invasion is on.

Linzi Martin: Those are just arena lights.

Henderson rolls Virgil Keenan up!

1!

Mikey Massacre: He’s mistaken them for UFO lights, I do think.

2!!

Linzi Martin: Is Henderson about to steal this one?!

KICK OUT!

Mikey Massacre: My guess is no. Not yet anyways.

Henderson with an enziguri kick almost rips Keenan’s head off. Keenan is slow to his feet, as Henderson goes up top. Henderson goes for a hurricanrana!!! But Keenan reverses it, power bombing Henderson into the canvas but Keenan holds onto Jimmy’s legs, flipping him over and locking in an elevated Boston Crab!

Linzi Martin: Oh shit, better get my gas mask before the riot squad shows up.

Mikey Massacre: Relax.

Henderson is refusing to tap as the referee asks him. It’s at this point Bobby Lee comes out from under the ring. He’s got a garbage can lid as a shield, and a baseball bat covered in barbed wire as a sword. A collective, oh fuck. Lee slides into the ring behind Keenan’s line of sight. Henderson looks up, in pain and then awe and shock as Lee brings his barbed wire baseball bat down across the back of Jimmy’s head. Keenan turns his head to look over his shoulder, just as Lee swings. Keenan lets go of Henderson, falling forward into the ropes. He bounces off, going for a springboard back elbow but Bobby Lee raises his makeshift shield to block it.

Linzi Martin: Bobby looking like one of those warriors from the intro video. How sexy.

Mikey Massacre: Riiiiight.

Henderson is bleeding out the back of his head, and crawls away for a moment to regroup. Keenan goes for a left, Lee blocks it. Lee thrusts his bat at Keenan, who side steps it. Keenan goes for a kick, Lee blocks it with his garbage can lid shield. Lee swings the bat, connects right with Keenan’s face. Keenan spins around and is hanging off the ropes, bleeding all over himself. The crowd is going nuts! They can’t believe it! Bobby Lee with a spinning neck breaker on Keenan! HE COVERS!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT! KEENAN KICKS OUT! WHAT A BOSS!

Bobby Lee can’t believe it, coming so close to a win! Henderson is up, Lee doesn’t see him. Shining Wizard on Bobby Lee! Lee hit’s the canvas, Henderson grabs the garbage can lid and begins bashing it down over Lee’s face.

Linzi Martin: This is getting out of control.

Mikey Massacre: It was out of control the moment this match was booked.

Keenan wipes the blood off his face as he pulls himself to his feet. Keenan picks up the now bloodied barbed wire baseball bat and taps it on his boot before swinging, cracking it over the side of Jimmy Henderson’s face. Henderson stumbles into the ropes, bleeding even more now as Keenan swings one more time, sending Jimmy Henderson to the outside. He drops the bat and turns around as Lee gets to his feet. Lee runs at Keenan. BURNING HAMMER! KEENAN WITH BURNING HAMMER ON BOBBY LEE!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Keenan has his hand raised before sliding out of the ring.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, VIRGIL KEENAN!

Linzi Martin: I guess this means Lee retains his title.

Mikey Massacre: How sad for Jimmy and Virgil.

*****The Arrival*****

We cue up with a panoramic view of the arena’s garage. Initially there’s no movement, but soon enough a black Cadillac Escalade speeds by with purpose.

Mikey Massacre: It looks like someone’s inbound in a hurry!

Linzi Martin: And in style, to say the least!
The next camera shot is low to the ground, just inches shy of where the Escalade screeches to a halt. From a rear view we catch a glimpse of the licence plates which read “SiD”.

Mikey Massacre: Our Queen of Everything is making quite the fashionable entrance tonight, eh?
As the rear passenger side door opens up, the legs of a figure are all which come into view. Black slacks, black shoes, but a very masculine tone. The person in questions stops in place but for a moment, then walks off to an undetermined point.
Linzi Martin: I wouldn’t speak too soon, that footwear may be high-priced, but they are most definitely a men’s size!

Mikey Massacre: I don’t see how that immediately disqualifies Lisa Seldon, but I suppose there’s no reason to hide her face from the camera. WAIT, could this be the earth-shattering signing we’ve all been promised tonight?!
Linzi Martin: If it is, the anticipation is sure to continue. Those were “Self~inflicted Drama” to be sure.

Mikey Massacre: This night has been billed as historic, and if this is any indication we’re well on our way to delivering on that promise!

*****Loser Leaves Town Match*****
*****Lucious Starr versus Jaice Wilds*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following is a LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH! Introducing first!

Jaice Wilds gets thrown out onto the stage, bloodied and battered. Starr follows him from behind, a dented up steel chair in hand as he continues to bash Jaice Wilds, apparently the fighting having already begun.

DING DING DING

The referee just decides to call for the bell, as Jersey gets the shit out of the ring with Starr throwing Jaice into it. Lucious Starr ignores the booing fans as he goes under the ring now.

Linzi Martin: What the hell is this? Starr is about to screw

Mikey Massacre: Well, shit.

Starr comes back out with a big bad of goodies with him. He rolls back into the ring, Jaice Wilds bloodied and trying to crawl away. Starr drops out a cinder block, a pipe and then holds the bag upside down for a bunch of thumbtacks to fall onto the canvas.

Linzi Martin: Aw man, are we about to lose Jaice Wilds? Just when he beat the INS too.

Starr grabs Jaice up from behind, lifting the smaller man up into a torture rack. The crowd boos, the referee asking Jaice if he’s willing to quit but Jaice flat out refuses. Starr flips him around, fall away slam onto the thumbtacks. Starr lifts up the cinder block now, holding it high into the air as Jaice rolls out of the bed of thumbtacks in pain. Jaice looks up, BANG! The cinder block breaks apart as Starr whips it at Wilds’ face. Wilds is seemingly down, out and down for. Starr picks up the lead pipe now and begins trying to do some body work on Jaice as he bashes him all over his broken and bloodied body.

Linzi Martin: Whoa, whoa, WHOA! NO WAY! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?!

Motherfucking PANZADISE comes out from backstage, Nintendo console in hand baby. Starr doesn’t notice him, the jackass he is he assumes the crowd is suddenly cheering for him and he waves to them, smiling. The PWA World Champion climbs up into the ring, and spins Lucious around. NINTENDO CONSOLE SMASHED OVER HIS HEAD! YEAH! The crowd is loving it, Starr is stumbling around woozy. Panzadise grabs him, THE PANZADISE BOMB ONTO THE THUMBTACKS!!! The crowd is loving it! Panzadise grabs the fucked up Jaice Wilds, and drapes him over Starr as he makes his exit.

1!

Panzadise cracks a grin, walking backwards up the ramp.

2!!

The fans cheer the PWA World champ as he stands at the top of the entrance ramp.

3!!!

DING DING DING!

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, JAICE WILDS!!!

Starr throws Jaice off of him, who’s still basically KO’d. Starr sits up, winces as he pulls thumbtacks out of his back. Simon Kalis steps out, microphone in one hand. He high fives Panzadise, they share a laugh and Panzadise waves to the REBEL fans and leaves.

Simon Kalis: You thought you could sneak attack your way into keeping the ridiculous fucking contract Gold signed for you? Well guess what, Lucy baby?

The crowd jump to their feet, cheering.

Simon Kalis: YOU’RE FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED!!!! Now YOU! Get the FUCK out of my ring!

Security rushes the ring as EMTs arrive to check on Jaice Wilds as Kalis leaves the ringside area and heads backstage.

Linzi Martin: Simon sure has a lot of pals. Enika Engel. Matthew Engel! Thunderwolf! Teresa Quaranta, I think? Panzadise! Who else am I missing?

Mikey Massacre: What the hell is this, honestly Linzi? We have the PWA World Champion show up, the PWA Intercontinental champion in a match tonight here. Next thing you know, the god damn supposed “Summer of Bogard” will reach REBEL Pro and the Grizzly Beer Champ will show up too.

Linzi Martin: Ohhhh, that’d be exciting! Wouldn’t it?

Starr is escorted out of the arena, as Jaice is placed up on a stretcher and attended to by medically inclined people.

*****Everything is Falling Apart. Or is it?*****

Jeremy Gold: Well, uhm. At least your pal Panzadise saved the day.

Kalis nods, lighting a cigarette and spinning around in his awesome bosses leather spin chair thingy.

Simon Kalis: Yeah, well he’s awesome like that and it was fun seeing him come here to mash up Starr so… No surprises. Still. I’ve got some fucking problems now, apparently.

Gold sits across Simon’s

desk, shivering. He looks around nervously, as Rupert the Kangaroo stands by the TV watching porno. Kalis is seemingly getting angrier by the second.

Simon Kalis: This is bullshit. Seriously. Apparently Vic Wagner got lost up the collective asshole of the PWA and that jackass Rob Robinson, though if you ask me I wager he didn’t want to be anywhere near a building with Matt Stone in it. And speaking of that sneaky fucker, his match is god damn ruined. Maverick flaked out like usual that pussy.

Jeremy Gold: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say there’s a conspiracy to push REBEL Pro down cause we’re all doing so awesome.

Kalis taps his finger against the desk, ignoring Gold’s dumbass statement.

Simon Kalis: The hell do we do?

Gold whimpers, wiping his watery eyes. He gets sad when Simon is mad.

Jeremy Gold: Well, someone else from Victory showed up to take Johnny’s place.

Kalis perks up.

Simon Kalis: Who?! Enika? Teresa? Anna? Hell, is it me? I’d know if it was me, wouldn’t I?

Jeremy Gold: Errr, no. Suukya. It’s Suukya.

Simon hits his face against his desk as we fade to ringside…

*****Matt Stone(PWA) versus Suukya(Victory)*****

“Stand Up” by Jet hits the arenas PA-system as the lights dim and strobe lights begin to throb throughout the stadium.

Jenny Jersey: Coming to the ring now from Arizona. Weighing in at 230-pounds and standing at six-feet five-inches… SUUKYA’!

Suukya’ takes his cue and emerges from behind the thick curtain a heavy boxer style robe of black covering his body, hood up shielding his face. With a slight jog he moves down to ringside extending a hand to those who reach out to him… ignoring those that jeer him.

Reaching ringside he whips off his robe and hands it over to the ring attendant, with a little bob of his head in appreciation, leaving him standing in a black singlet with orange-red, turquoise, and black trim. As he turns his back to enter the ring we catch the air brushed Great Seal of the Hopi Nation. Inside the ring he finds a corner and takes a moment to drop down to the knee in a silent prayer.

Slowly his music fades away as the strobe lights cease and the house lights raise again.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent… He is the PWA Intercontinental Champion… MATT STONE!!!!

Say whoa (whoa)
The more I feed it (whoa)
The more I need it (whoa)
Whoa
You say whoa
Whoa is me
I’m so whoa

Matt Stone comes out from the back to a chorus of boos. He struts down the ramp towards the ring, wearing his patterned hoodie with a large Maple Leaf on the back. He threatens to hit a member of the crowd who was holding up a “Canada sucks” sign and just walks on.

Say whoa (whoa)
The more I feed it (whoa)
The more I need it (whoa)
Whoa
You say whoa
Whoa is me
I’m so whoa

Matt gets on the apron and gets inside the ring, heading straight to a corner and mounts the middle turnbuckle raising his hands. “I’m the best there is!” He shouts out over the loud jeers being rained down on him. He shakes his head to their reaction. “You don’t deserve to see me!” He shouts out getting down and taking off the hoodie. Matt get’s ready for his opponent, bouncing off the ropes to loosen up as his music fades away.

Linzi Martin: Gotta wonder how Suukya is feeling after everything that happened to him at the hands of Sedition Rising.

Mikey Massacre: He’s screwed.

DING DING DING

Stone rushes at him, elbow collar tie up. Suukya slaps his arm and shoulder, Stone twists him around and lays him out with an impact DDT! Suukya gets to his feet and grabs ahold of Stone. He goes for a suplex but Stone gets out of it mid air, flips himself over and takes Suukya down with a corkscrew neck breaker! The crowd goes nuts, loving it!

Mikey Massacre: Stone impressing some of the REBEL fans here tonight.

Linzi Martin: I remember him from my PWA days. I’m surprised he didn’t have one of his bitches come out to fight for him, he used to be so lazy.

As Suukya gets to his feet, Stone moves in for an immediate strike, a flying lariat as he comes forward. He nails Suukya in the head but all he does is then move himself towards him, hitting him with a vicious and dirty knee-on-knee colission. Suukya flips to the canvas and The Straight Shooter drops his leg over his throat for good measure, showing everyone why he is still the PWA Intercontinental Champion! He elbows him right in the eye and then jumps back, wrapping Suukya’s legs up and then falling to the canvas himself, completely locking Suukya in an Indian Deathlock. He has no clear emotion as he simply focuses on applying the pressure on the move, putting great strain on Suukya.

Mikey Massacre: Indian Death Lock is rarely used, but it’s a highly effective move.

Linzi Martin: Yeah I wouldn’t want to be put in that hold. Though the Indian Kama Sutra, different story.

Suukya yells and screams, flailing around trying to get out of the move. Stone shakes his head and decides a change of strategy is needed. Stone flips himself onto his stomach, now inverting the Indian death lock much to the chagrin of Suukya. Stone yells at Suukya to tap, but Suukya is fighting through the pain and still refusing to tap out.

Mikey Massacre: In theory, Stone only needs to keep the submission hold on forever until Suukya either taps or passes out from the pain. There are no rope breaks or disqualifications in REBEL Pro after all.

Linzi Martin: And he might just use that to his advantage.

Stone gives up and lets go of Suukya. Stone gets to his feet, scoffing at the REBEL Pro fans as he waits for Suukya. Suukya gets to his feet and goes for a grapple, Stone is overpowered by the much bigger man and sent flying into the turnbuckles. As Suukya rushes at Stone, he crushes Stone between himself and the turnbuckle and grabs Stone, Northern Lights suplex! Stone pulls himself off the canvas, as Suukya sits up on the top turnbuckle. Suukya jumps off, BUT STONE WITH THE C-C-C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER ON SUUKYA!!! The crowd roars!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, MATT STONE!

Stone spits at the REBEL Pro logo on the ring and slides out, leaving the arena shaking his head. The crowd boos, at him, and at the unknown whereabouts of Johnny Maverick.

Fans: WHERE’S JOHNNY? WHERE’S JOHNNY?

Stone turns around, nodding and he seems to mouth the words “I agree, I agree” as he leaves Suukya fucked up in the ring.

*****Just Business*****

Bubba J walks down the hallway, carrying a case with him, but its no ordinary case, its a case containing “Ripper” his self-made weapon of choice. He stops in front of a door marked “J.T. Whiplash” and stares at the camera.

“What, do you honestly expect me to let you into hear our conversation? Do you honestly think I’m going to allow you to hear us talking?”

He points towards the door.

“This is business, just business.”

He points out to the arena where the fans are yelling and having a good time.

“I’ve got to take care of some business tonight, but go ahead and look for it to happen, but as for this man…”

He points to the name.

“Not gonna happen. So pack up your camera, do whatever you have to do with it, and get the hell out of my damn face.”

He waits and as the door starts to open, the camera blacks out as a voice comes from behind the camera.

V/O: They never listen Bubba, don’t you know that by now?

J talks from in front of the camera.

J: “Exactly why I asked you to come from behind Vincent, now lets go talk to this man right chere.”

Black shoves the camera into the wall, creating a multitude of snow; but the mic still picks up the door shutting.

*****Cage Match*****
*****Gabe Shelley versus Legion*****

The lights in the arena go to black and the heavy bass of ‘Inside’ by NiN kicks in over the sound system. Rising from a hole set in the middle of the stage is Legion, a backlight showing only his silhouette. The arena lights come back up and Legion is joined on stage by members of his congregation and they all make their way to the ring.

Yeah, you guessed it… chipmunks with red laser lights attached to their heads run down from the back as “In Fate’s Hands” hits up in the speakers. The women scream as the vicious, hopped up on crack cocaine from Jeremy’s stash) run all over the damn place.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing Gabe Shelley!

Gabe accidentally stomps on a chipmunk, causing a little girl to begin crying as the little chipmunk brains squish out of his little skull.

Ding Ding

The cage of death surrounds both Legion and Gabe Shelley, who stare at each other with something akindling less than admiration or love. Referee Jimmy Johnson stands away from the two as they come together in a bang. Well, Legion nails Shelley in the face with a knuckle sandwich rocking him back, but the former BWF World Champion rocks Legion back with a meaty right hook of his own. Legion absorbs the blow as he rocks back, ducking under the next blow and up behind Gabe shoving him into the barbed wire and glass covered steel cage; Shelley is the first to bleed in this match. Legion rubs his face along the surface, creating cuts and abrasions all over his face.

Mikey Massacre: Shelley the first to lose blood here.

Linzi Martin: But surely not the last here in this match as I’ve got a five hundred dollar bet that Jimmy loses some as well.

Shelley with a back elbow thrust catches Legion off guard before reaching back and shoving his face into the cage, ripping his mask somewhat. Legion smiles though as he tries to cuff Gabe’s wrist to the cage wall, but Shelley nails him in the face with a left hook sending the cuffs flying and Legion to the canvas. Shelley with a stomp before lawn darting Legion’s head into the cage wall and as he rebounds, whipping him across the ring. Shelley lowers his shoulder into Legion’s midsection before flipping him up and over to land back on the canvas. Shelley spins around, but Legion is rolling up to his feet. Shelley with a stomp over, unleashes a kick to Legion’s face, but Legion dives at the planted leg taking Shelley down to the canvas in some sort of Lou Thesz press as he pounds away at Gabe’s upturned and bloody face.

Linzi Martin: Legion taking it to the former BWF World Champion.

Mikey Massacre: Legion is a very talented individual.

Linzi Martin: You don’t like him, do you?

Mikey Massacre: Not a bit.

Legion rolls off Gabe, up to his feet, but Shelley is there to trip him up. Shelley is bleeding from the nose and mouth; not to mention the other lacerations on his face thanks to this demonstrative cage. Legion rolls over to his feet as Gabe does the same. The two men come together, collar and elbow style; Gabe behind Legion with a rear waistlock. Legion reverses the hold into a wristlock, kicking Gabe in the ribs; but Gabe pulls him to him, short arm clotheslining him to the canvas. Stompfest from Gabe as Legion tries to roll out of the stomping range of Gabe, but he pursues him like a fat kid going after the last piece of birthday cake. Gabe pulls him up, dragging his face across the cage, before hooking him in a double wristlock(behind the back) and dragging his chest across the cage wall, causing multiple of lacerations to the chest. Gabe looks down, spotting the handcuffs and locks them around Legion’s wrist. Gabe proceeds to beat the hell out of Legion, right hand after right hand. Someone from the crowd tosses a steel chair up and over the cage side, but Shelley looks grateful as he pounds the steel into Legion’s face. Shelley winds up, cracking him in the face with a second, then we cut back to another fan tossing in a lead pipe as well. The fan is none other than Bubba J, a man that Legion had attacked last week by Mr. Piggy. J shoots the camera a bird, but we can tell its directed right at Legion, who’s face turned dazedly towards Bubba J.

Linzi Martin: Bubba J getting involved with this match tonight.

Mikey Massacre: Not a surprise at all, I’ve known him his entire Rebel Pro career and he won’t take what happened last week lying down.

Legion spins away, but Gabe golfs a shot right up into his face, Legion is forced to sit down in the corner. Gabe places the chair right in the ropes(against Legion’s face) and comes from across the ring, leaping into the air and driving the steel right into his face with a dropkick. An audible crunch is heard as the chair connects with Legion’s face and it has to be the sound of his breaking nose. The chair falls and we are met immediately with the enormous amount of blood from Legion’s nose. Gabe pulls him up from the corner, but Legion fires a right hand into Gabe’s face, which catches him off-guard because his wrists have been uncuffed. Gabe receives another shot, a third, and a fourth. Legion is rocking Gabe’s world with vigour and intensity.

Linzi Martin: How?

Mikey Massacre: I think Mr. Piggy had something to do with it…

Well, actually it was a man wearing a piggy mask who slinks back under the ring; the handcuffs still laying in the corner. Shelley receives a boot to the midsection and a DDT for a chance to slam his head into he canvas. Legion pulls the chair up, placing it in the seated position before lifting Gabe up, slamming his head through the seat with a cradle piledriver. However, Legion isn’t through, as he pulls the now broken chair up, wrapping it around Gabe’s neck and using it to choke the life out of him.

Linzi Martin: What ferocity from Legion… its kind of sexy.

Mikey Massacre: If you say so.

Linzi Martin: Not Violent Violet Harper sexy, but ya know.

Mikey Massacre: Uh… huh.

Legion grabs the handcuffs, walking back over to Gabe, trying to lock him against the cage once again. A loud popping and sizzling noise, along with a sudden bright flash, sends Legion rolling backards.

Mikey Massacre: But I didn’t think it was going to be electrified!

Linzi Martin: Another surprise from Simon Kalis.

Legion’s front is red from the singeing and he is in obvious pain. Rolling up to his feet, Gabe and Legion are nearly identical. Legion is a bit quicker, nailing Shelley in his bad leg, causing him to cripple up. Legion seems to be pissed off now as he begins to pound down and down again with the lead pipe, sending blood spraying up from the lacerations he is causing on Gabe’s skull. Jimmy Johnson comes over, to try and stop this murderous rampage, but is met right in the face with the pipe, knocking him out cold. Jimmy’s nose is busted from the impact and Legion drags his face across the second rope and then across the rope again before launching him into the electrified cage. Jimmy hangs there for a moment as the electricity courses through his body and the blood pours from his nose and cuts on his face.

Linzi Martin: Hell yeah! I won 10,000 dollars babah!

Mikey Massacre: How?

Linzi Martin: The bet my dear Mikey, I got great odds because the referees never bleed… not even in Rebel Pro!

Gabe is still out cold on the canvas as Legion lifts him up, delivering his finisher “Enter Blackness”(jacknife powerbomb) to Gabe, but manages to make his head and neck slam into the turnbuckle. Legion covers for the pin, but Jimmy is slow to make the count(and we wonder why well its because he’s half-dead by now)

One…

Legion looks at him as if saying hurry up or I’ll sacrifice your liver or something.

Two…

Better yet, I’ll sacrifice your eyeballs before munching them as though they are candy in my dish.

Three…

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match… Legion!

Legion lifts Gabe up, Jimmy powerless to stop him, and handcuffs him to the cage, dealing with the shock and all, in a crucifixion pose. Legion stands back, but here comes Bubba J from the back with “Ripper”(his self-made weapon) in his hand., the bat is already dripping some blood from the various pointy and sharp objects on it. Legion dives out of the cage before Bubba J can get there and heads into the crowd.

Mikey Massacre: What a match!

Linzi Martin: Bubba J is staring out at Legion, who is making his way through the crowd.

The cage is no longer electrified, but Bubba J continues the stare, holding the bat barrel down towards the ground.

Mikey Massacre: A camera has just caught up with something that happened backstage, moments ago.

The scene cuts backstage where a dozen of Legion’s lesser known members lay in a spreading pool of destruction; all wear masks. Strangely missing are Mr. Piggy and his cohort in the beating of Bubba J last week.

*****Some Light Interaction Between Opponents*****

Lisa Seldon is seen mingling backstage and generally minding her own business, which is normally enough to keep you safe in wrestling.

Actually that’s a lie, it tends to just make you a target, which is the exact result which befalls Lisa, as a hulking great figure rounds the corner and breaks a big mess of glass tubes across her back. Lisa goes down but doesn’t stay there for long and jumps up to return fire at the figure, who turns out to be Vincent Black. The two come to blows but get to land just a few shots before referees, ring technicians and other wrestlers dive in two separate them. Lisa Seldon is beside herself with annoyance but Black just soaks it in and calls out over the throng of people to raise her ire a little more.

Vincent Black: Hey bitch, you wanna tell people you’re Rebel Pro. How about we up the stakes?

The crowd around Vincent Black settles a little as he stops trying to fight his way through. The same can’t be said for Lisa.

Vincent Black: I’m talking you and me for the world title in a light tube death match. And then I can show you and all these new fans you think you’ve brought in what being in Rebel Pro is all about!

Lisa Seldon, still trying to fight her way through, shouts back.

Lisa Seldon: Fine! Someone get to home depot and buy me a whole load of shit I can use to kill this guy!

Black smiles and nods at his handiwork before backing up the hall. Lisa meanwhile finally shrugs off the crowd and turns the other way, her face a flame but finally starting to settle. The camera cuts away.

*****REBEL Pro World Tag Team Title Contendership Match*****
*****Case Filed Rockets versus Style Clash*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will decide the Number One Contenders for the REBEL Pro World Tag Team Titles!

“Troublesome ‘96” by 2Pac hits and the crowd jumps to their feet.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first! At a combined weight of 490 pounds…

The strobe lights pan the arena as Justin Case and Rocky Logan step out, flanking their exquisite manager and friend Hugh Aredone.

Jenny Jersey: Accompanied to the ring by Hugh Aredone! They are “The Millennium Game” Justin Case and “Wreckless” Rocky Logan… THEY… ARE… CASE FILED ROCKETS!!!!!

They enter the ring, pyros exploding off around them. But, suddenly, “Love and War” by Drowning Pool hits.

Jenny Jersey: And their opponents! Introducing first, he hails from Boulder, Colorado… He is… TABOO!!!!!

Taboo steps out, none too impressed with Case or Logan and begins walking towards the ring.

Jenny Jersey: And his partner!

Arena lights go out and on the big screen we see an old fashion movie reel countdown 3… 2… 1…

then we here the sound byte “Ali said I am the grestest”

Jenny Jersey: “The Show” Chad Kurtis… Together, they are… STYLE CLASH!!!

followed by pyros going off as “cocky” hit the speakers and “the show” makes his way to the ring from the crowd, as the light kicks on before baseball sliding into the ring. Taboo slides in and immediately all four men begin brawling it out. Hugh Aredone hops up onto the apron and begins cussing out Style Clash.

DING DING DING

Rocky Logan quick to capitalize on the distracted Chad Kurtis, he rushes forward and dropkicks Kurtis in the back of the head sending him face first into the turnbuckle. Kurtis bounces off, stumbling back as Logan unleashes a fury of punches that send Kurtis back into the corner. Taboo and Case are grappling, each man trying to over power the other. Case seems to have the upper advantage but Taboo quickly spins himelf around, grabbing Case from behind and taking him down with a full nelson suplex. Meanwhile, Chad however is quick to get to his feet, tripping Logan to keep him down on his way up. He grabs hold of the top rope with both hands, and uses it as leverage as he stomps down multiple times on the back of Rocky’s head, relentless in attack. As Logan gets up Kurtis positions himself quickly, laying him out with a back body drop.

Mikey Massacre: And what started off as a back and forth, now seems like Style Clash are in complete control of this match.

Linzi Martin: I think they’re all kinda assholes, really. But everyone is loving Justin Case these days, he’s become quite the popular folk hero across the AoWF after his impressive showing in the TV title tournament.

Logan gets up slowly, but Kurtis is waiting like a predator about to pounce and as he does Logan counters quickly with a bionic elbow sending “The Show” back. Taboo with a Northern Lights Suplex on Justin Case, he has a very controlling and dominating way about him. But Justin Case you didn’t know, Case is back in it with a quick European uppercut followed by a fall away slam. Logan with a left now, Kurtis responds with a right. Logan throws another left and as Chad goes for a right he fakes it, instead sending a kick into Logan’s gut and grabbing him, locking Rocky’s arms and planting him with a double armed DDT. Case quickly grabs Taboo up and whips him into the ropes. Case follows it up by clotheslining Taboo right over the top rope. Justin Case climbs up onto the top turnbuckle… HURRICANRANA ON TABOO!

Linzi Martin: Front row seats, fuck yeah!

Mikey Massacre: Both these teams know what’s at stake, a shot at Hardcore Entertainment.

Logan is up but stumbles back, Kurtis now rushes forward with a clothesline but Rocky instinctively ducks. Kurtis however quickly latches onto Rocky and hits a reverse snap suplex laying Wreckless down and out. What he doesn’t expect is Justin Case, who grabs him from behind and hit’s a vicious backbreaker on “The Show”. Case lifts Kurtis up and whips him into the corner turnbuckles. Meanwhile Taboo is up and he’s grabbing a bunch of tables from underneath the ring. He slides them into the ring one by one as Kurtis is thrown over the top rope, but manages to take both Case and Logan with him. Taboo begins setting up the tables, four of them, side by side in the middle of the ring.

Linzi Martin: Just what on Earth is he planning to do?

Mikey Massacre: I figure we’ll find out soon enough, Linzi.

Logan slides into the ring after Taboo. Taboo with a snap suplex, takes Logan to the canvas. He then whips Logan into the turnbuckles as Case throws Kurtis into the ring. Case takes Kurtis up on one turnbuckle, as Taboo lifts Rocky Logan up on the opposite one. Both men try to keep balance, and… BANG! BOOM! CRASH! ETC! SUPERPLEXES FROM THE TOPE ROPE THROUGH ALL THE TABLES! The crowd goes NUTS! The referee sees Case with his arm draped over Kurtis!

1!

Mikey Massacre: Hey, wait a second.

2!!

Linzi Martin: Taboo has his arm over Logan!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match… Justin Case and Rocky Logan… CASE FILED ROCKETS!!

Taboo is arguing with the referee, but the referee claims he never saw that as Case, Logan and Aredone laugh and smile their way back up the ramp quickly.

Linzi Martin: Did Style Clash just get shafted?

Mikey Massacre: There’ll be hell to pay when this is all said and done…

*****More Mystery Fun*****

We cue up once again backstage, this time in a long corridor full of supposed locker rooms. Plenty of backstage personnel scurry around, but the crowd reacts sharply as the presence of Simon Kalis comes into view. In his hand we immediately come to notice the metal briefcase he was in possession of last week on Aggression.

Mikey Massacre: That’s the very same briefcase we saw Simon Kalis toting around last week. You don’t suppose..?

Linzi Martin: If you’re thinking it has to do with our promised contract signing, it must be pretty lucrative for Kalis to keep it that close to the vest!

The camera man keeps a close pace as Kalis closes in on his destination. Reaching a conspicuously unmarked door, he knocks twice. The door cracks open, and Kalis turns to move inside. The camera men tries to follow, but Kalis turns back around and shoves the camera away, slamming the door shut behind him as the door slams immediately shut.

Mikey Massacre: Once again we’re left in the dark!

Linzi Martin: But with not much longer to go, the light has to be shed on the situation soon enough.

*****REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Match*****
*****J.T. Whiplash versus Violet Harper©*****

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the REBEL Pro Aggression Championship!!! Introducing first, the challenger!

The lights go out as an image of a copperhead slithering down a dirt road airs on the REBEL-Tron as the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play with the snake slithering down the path. The snake then coils up in position to strike as the bagpipe intro ends and “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system as red, white, and blue lighting goes off throughout the arena. Just then, a spot-light shines on J.T. Whiplash in his wrestling attire, holding a Rebel flag as the fans erupt in cheers. J.T. then waves the Rebel flag in the air hollering as he does so. He then puts the flag over his shoulder as he makes his way to the ring slowly, tagging hands with as many fans as he can get to as he gets to the end of the ramp-way, pausing as he waves his Rebel flag around again before walking to the ring steps and sticking his Rebel flag in the ring post as he steps over the middle rope and climbs in the ring, shouting and hollering for the fans to cheer as he climbs up each second turn-buckle and lets out a loud “YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAWWW!!!” as he gives the crowd a bull-horn sign before he paces back and forth in the ring like a pissed-off hyena as he runs against the ropes a couple of times before going back to pacing as the music dies down.

Jenny Jersey: J.T….. WHIPLAAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!

“Gasoline” by Audioslave hits and the crowd goes nuts, especially the guys.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent! She is the reigning Aggression Champion…

Violet comes bolting out from backstage, running to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: She is VIOLET HARPER!!!

Jersey quickly gets out of the ring as Harper chucks her the Aggression title for safe keeping, sliding into the ring.

DING DING DING

LINZI MARTIN: And our Aggression Title match is underway!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Both competitors had quite a lot to say this week and we’ll get to find out first hand just who backs it up!
LINZI MARTIN: Go Violet!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Shocker! Pun intended.
This match was one for the ages and it got about as nearly hardcore as any Rebel match has ever gotten. Violet and Whiplash started off the match going strike for strike, but Whiplash’s size and strength won him that exchange and he made Violet pay for it dearly with his Copperhead Bite, which is a running knee lift to the face with Whiplash wearing a thumbtack-covered kneepad. Violet was busted open at this point and we’re all glad it wasn’t a first blood match. Whiplash went to work on the Aggression champion with all kinds of old school moves and hardcore delights, opening up Violet’s skin even more and crushing her through the announcer’s table with The Southern Discomfort (high-impact brainbuster)! So yeah, the announcer’s table is gone. They’re probably going to bring a new one out between this match and the World Title match. Maybe, if Simon Kails thinks you’re lucky. Whiplash tried for a gut-wrench powerbomb off the top rope but Harper reversed with a hurricanrana and showed some life after all. She wasn’t dead. Harper went for the corkscrew 630 senton bomb and connected! She went for the cover right away and Whiplash kicked out after two. Harper then really turned the match around in her favor and grabbed a steel chair out from underneath the ring and went to work on Whiplash’s knees, just like she said she would. Whiplash was yelling out in pain from the chair shots but was put out of his misery with one right to the head. Harper connected with a 450 Frog Splash off the top rope! But she wasn’t done, and neither was Whiplash as he was getting to his feet while Harper was set on the top rope.
Violet follows up with the PURPLE HAZE OFF THE TOP ROPE! She made the cover!
BUT WHIPLASH KICKS OUT! NO ONE HAS EVER KICKED OUT OF THAT BEFORE!
LINZI MARTIN: Stupid redne–
MIKEY MASSACRE: Whoa, whoa. Be aware of your surroundings, Linzi.
LINZI MARTIN: You’re right, sorry.
The crowd was divided, half cheering for the Confederate Copperhead and the other cheering for the sexy Violet Harper. We all know who the commentators were cheering for as we’re sure Linzi Martin was damn near orgasming throughout the entire match watching her lover Violet drip with sweat blood and awesomeness.
LINZI MARTIN: I LOVE YOU VIOLET!
MIKEY MASSACRE: Sheesh, why don’t you two go to New York and get married?

LINZI MARTIN: No, I… I love her like a sister, Mikey!
MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh that’s even worse! And yet I’m still strangely aroused!
LINZI MARTIN: No! That’s not what I meant. Just shut up Mikey!
Harper got distracted by Linzi’s proclaim of love and Whiplash speared her into the corner! Whiplash went back to town on Harper in a way she doesn’t like. Well, either way she probably wouldn’t have liked it. Whiplash is old…and wrinkly. Anyway, Whiplash brought out a spool of razorwire! Now we’re getting somewhere. Whiplash did the unthinkable and wrapped Violet with the razorwire and took her down with the Whip-Cracker! Violet seemed nearly out and Whiplash cut himself up a little bit in the process, but Whiplash made the cover after painfully removing the razorwire off of her and amazingly VIOLET KICKED OUT! The crowd went nuts!

Crowd: REB-EL! REB-EL! REB-EL!
The crowd always chants that when someone does the impossible because here in Rebel Pro we specialize in that kind of shit. Whiplash couldn’t believe it either and even went along with the Rebel chant. He was motioning for Violet to get up, kind of like in the movie Rocky when Rocky was all fucked up and motioning for Apollo to bring it. Imagine that. Violet got to her feet and she’s a bloody terrible mess. Whiplash connects with the Copperhead Bite again! Damn! And he’s not done. Whiplash grabs two light tubes from underneath the ring and slides back in. He stuffs the light tubes down the back of Violet’s shirt, proving once more why women should only wear bras when they wrestle, and he steps back a few steps. Whiplash charges forward and gives Violet a thrust kick to the back, smashing the two light tubes against her skin! Violet falls to the mat in a heap of pain, and Whiplash makes the cover again!
NO! VIOLET GOT HER FOOT ON THE ROPE! HOLY SHIT!
Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
We all imagine Linzi Martin is drenched in her pants right now, and it’s fun to think that. Whiplash cannot believe the toughness of the Aggression Champion as he sits in the corner, covered in blood and sweat himself. Violet is amazingly getting to her feet and shaking out the light tube shards from her shirt. Whiplash rises up and charges but Violet ducks a clothesline, Violet nails Whiplash with lefts and rights, and then slams a fist right into his throat! Whiplash is paralyzed for a moment falling to his knees and Violet slides out of the ring. She comes back with a goddamn Hewlett Packard Laser Jet printer! She runs and smashes it into Whiplash’s face! The printer parts go everywhere and Harper raises her fists into the air! Whiplash makes a last-ditch effort and kicks Violet in the back of her knee. Whiplash tackles Harper and they go outside the ring. We all know there aren’t any countouts in Rebel. We’re men…and women, and we settle our shit with violence and not technicalities. What happened next was unforgettable as Whiplash and Harper battled up the rampway, no weapons, just their fists of fury and trying to knock the other down. Harper seemed like a giant, standing up to the brutality of Whiplash and dishing out her own. Finally Whiplash made Harper go down to the steel of the rampway. Whiplash came down with a brutal legdrop across the throat of Harper. Whiplash followed up with a gorilla press slam right on the top of the stage! Harper was in a lot of pain, but as close as it was, Harper managed to slip out of a second Whip-Cracker and give Whiplash a bicycle kick to the back, sending him over the edge of the stage falling about 25 feet to the floor below where the crowd was going CRAZY!
CROWD: FINISH HIM!

CROWD: WHIP-LASH! WHIP-LASH!
The crowd was still divided. And much to Violet’s surprise after she got up to look over the edge, Whiplash was getting to his feet! WHAT THE FUCK!? The guy is unstoppable and will not stay down! Violet shakes her head. She’s gotta do it, even if it kills her. FOR THE WINS!
But can she?
Whiplash might not know where he is right now, but he’s on his feet like the tough badass motherfocker he is and Violet leaps off the edge.
PURPLE HAZE FROM THE TOP OF THE STAGE! HOLY SHIT!
LINZI MARTIN: OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
MIKEY MASSACRE: She’s…they’re both dead, they have to be. We just let two people kill themselves Linzi!
But check it. There’s movement. It’s from the Aggression Champion. The stupid slow referee who finally gets to the scene of the crime sees Violet drape her crimson arm over Whiplash, who got flipped on his back from the impact. The referee made the count.

1…
2…

3!!!

DING DING DING!!!

JENNY JERSEY: And the winner of this match… still your Aggression Champion… VIOLET HARPER!!!

The referee tries to get Violet to her feet to raise her hand, but she collapses to the floor. Still no movement out of Whiplash. EMTs rush onto the scene to help both competitors who just put their livelihoods on the line for the Rebel Pro universe and the Aggression Championship. Unbelievable.

MIKEY MASSACRE: What a match, Linzi…and yet, Violet Harper remains undefeated against the Rebel Pro roster and holds onto her Aggression Championship once more!
LINZI MARTIN: She’s the best Mikey. But I really give some props to Whiplash, he took everything she dished out and then some, and even hurt Violet really bad. I mean… this could have gone either way.

MIKEY MASSACRE: You’re right Linzi…and now you may go to the bathroom to clean up while we get a new announcer’s table.

LINZI MARTIN: …okay.

*****THE JOKE‘S ON YOU!*****

Mikey Massacre: Ladies and gentlmen, as we get set for our main event of the evening…

Everything in the arena stops functioning; the lights, the REBELTron and the sound system.

Mikey Massacre: What the hell? There must’ve been some kind of power outage! Which, if that is the case, no one watching could hear my voice right now. So, I’m going to keep speaking just incase.

Linzi Martin: HA HA! You just said “Justin Case”.

Mike Massacre: *face palm — in the dark*

The arena continues to remain dark and silent until…

[ STATIC ]

It fills the REBELTron and the sound system. Shortly after, “The Outside [Apocalypse Mix]” by A Perfect Circle harmonizes into the arena as the scene on the REBELTron shows a camera panning slowly down a blood smeared hallway of a hospital. The camera continues down the hallway to show an empty straightjacket hanging from the ceiling of a cell in the psychiatric ward.

After twenty-nine seconds, the drumming of the song begins. Strobe lights begin flickering in the arena as a series of disturbing images grace the scene for a split second. As the music becomes whole, the stage below the REBELTron becomes dimly light as we see fog rolling from the entranceway.

At the one-minute-and-twenty-eight-second mark, the music becomes a resonating guitar while the arena once again dims. All that can be see are the images on the REBELTron which begin to show highlights of Rebel Pro wrestlers. The first wrestler showcased on the screen is Bobby Lee…

### HELP ME IF YOU CAN ###
### IT’S JUST THAT THIS ###

…Justin Case…

### IS NOT THE WAY I’M WIRED ###
### SO COULD YOU PLEASE ###
### HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY ###

…J.T. Whiplash…

### YOU’RE GIVING IN TO ALL THESE ###
### WRECKLESS DARK DESIRES? ###
### YOU’RE… ###

…Jeremy Gold…

### LYING TO YOURSELF AGAIN ###
### SUICIDAL IMBECILE, POUNDING ON A FAULT LINE ###

…Violet Harper…

### WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO GET THROUGH TO YOU PRECIOUS? ###
### WHY WOULD I, WHY WOULD I, WHY WOULD I ###
### WANT TO WATCH YOU ###
### DISCONNECT AND SELF-DESTRUCT ###

…Chad Kurtis…

### ONE BULLET AT A TIME ###
### WHAT’S YOUR RUSH NOW? ###
### EVERYONE WILL HAVE HIS DAY TO DIE ###

…Bubba J…

### MEDICATED DRAMA QUEEN ###
### PICTURE-PERFECT NUMB BELLIGERENCE ###

…Lucious Starr…

### NARCISSISTIC DRAMA QUEEN ###
### CRAVING FAME AND ALL ITS DECADENCE ###

…Taboo…

### LYING THROUGH YOUR TEETH AGAIN ###
### SUICIDAL IMBECILE, THINK ABOUT IT ###
### PUT IT ON THE FAULT LINE ###

…Emlee Korlin…

### WHAT’LL IT TAKE TO GET THROUGH TO YOU PRECIOUS? ###
### I’M OVER THIS. WHY DO YOU WANNA THROW IT AWAY LIKE THIS? ###
### SUCH A MESS ###
### WHY WOULD I WANT TO WATCH YOU… ###

…Vincent Black…

### DISCONNECT AND SELF-DESTRUCT ###
### ONE BULLET AT A TIME ###
### WHAT’S YOUR RUSH NOW ###
### EVERYONE WILL HAVE HIS DAY TO DIE ###

…Legion…

### LYING TO MY FACE AGAIN ###
### SUICIDAL IMBECILE ###
### THINK ABOUT IT, YOU PUT IT ON A FAULT LINE ###

…Lisa Seldon…

### WHAT’LL IT TAKE TO GET THROUGH TO YOU PRECIOUS? ###
### WHY DO YOU WANNA THROW IT AWAY LIKE THIS ###
### SUCH A MESS ###
### OVER THIS… OVER THIS ###

…Simon Kalis…

### HAVE HIS DAY TO DIE… ###
### DISCONNECT ###
### SELF-DESTRUCT ###

…Larry Gordon…

### DISCONNECT ###
### SELF-DESTRUCT ###

…Rebel Pro logo…

### OVER THIS! ###

“You Are The Joke” begins flashing on the screen as the arena becomes engulfed in purple pyrotechnics above the ring, around the REBELTron and the stage. In the flash of light, we can see a man standing in a purple overcoat with long-green hair with his back to the audience, knife held down by his waste. (You’ve seen the poster! Don’t lie!)

Mikey Massacre: It’s Patient 4479!

As Patient 4479 begins to turn around slowly, the lights go out once more. This time, for just a few seconds. When they come back on, where Patient 4479 was just standing there is now a bald headed-man in a black t-shirt, busted-up blue jeans and leather work boots.

The camera pans in on the purple jacket and green wig at the top of the entrance ramp.

Mikey Massacre: What the –

The man atop the stage stands there with a bit of a smirk on his face, reaching into his pants pocket for a microphone.

Mikey Massacre: Am I the only one that isn’t quite sure what is going on here?

Linzi Martin: Pfft, welcome to my every day life.

The stranger atop the stage speaks.

Unknown Man: All of you look disappointed. You look as though you were expecting someone else. Perhaps this guy!

The unknown man turns and points to the screen of ‘Patient 4479’ in a straightjacket.

Unknown Man: Or maybe him!

The image changes over to Sasquatch.

Unknown Man: How about…

The image shows Jeremy Gold dressed in black high-heels and a red spaghetti-strap dinner dress and wig.

Unknown Man: Or?

The image shows a picture of the grassy knoll.

Unknown Man: Wait a minute…

The unknown man moves in closer to the image.

Unknown Man: Can we zoom in close to the fence line, please?

The image on the screen zooms in as requested.

Unknown Man: HE WAS JUST THERE! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD! I CHECKED IT RIGHT BEFORE I CAME OUT! WHERE DID HE GO!?

The unknown man turns around, head down and shaking.

Unknown Man: Damn it, every time.

Looking back up at the audience.

Unknown Man: Since none of those guys are going to show up this evening, I guess you’ll just have to make due with me.

The unknown man makes his way to the ring.

Mikey Massacre: Who the hell is this guy? Who we thought was Patient 4479 is anything but.

The unknown man climbs into the ring and continues speaking.

Unknown Man: Seriously folks, the very idea that you thought someone would infringe upon copyright laws for the betterment of your entertainment is hysterical. Do you know what it was like dressing up like that every few days for a quick cameo? It was horrible. However, it served its purpose. Everyone of you thought ‘Patient 4479’ was real and you thought he was really coming here. And your reactions, that’s what sold it.

Mikey Massacre: A ruse?

Unknown Man: At first, every one of you were excited by the idea. Then you got bored with it and eventually, it just became annoying. Everything I was hoping it would be. And now that it didn’t play out quite the way you wanted it to, you seem quite saddened. Why is that? — Is it because you were lied to? — No, I’m sure you’ve been lied to all your lives. You should be accustomed to that by now. — Is it because you were wrong? — Better get used to that feeling, because this is only the first night. — No. I think the reason you’re so upset is because you were made to look like a bunch of idiots.

The unknown man points his fingers around the arena, at the announcer table and into the camera.

Unknown Man: Every single one of you, made out to be idiots. How fitting of a pay-per-view title; Prove Your Worth. I’ve just showed everyone associated with Rebel Pro, from the fan base to the front office to the wrestling ring, just how WORTHLESS you really are. Not a single one of you are worth the shit paper I use to wipe my ass with!!

The unknown man reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a piece of wadded up toilet paper, shoving it down the back of his pants and wiping his ass. Pulling the wad back up, he tosses it into the front row of the audience.

Unknown Man: There! Keep it! Don’t say I never gave you anything. — It’s two-ply by the way, so you could share if you want. — How many of you can even afford Charmin two-ply?

Linzi Martin: I can! *raises hand*

Mikey Massacre: It was rhetorical — I think. *raises hand*

Unknown Man: I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you my name.

Mikey Massacre: About time.

Unknown Man: My name is Loren [EXPLETIVE DELETED] Chill!

An eruption of ‘boos’ comes from the crowd and Mikey Massacre goes crazy.

Mikey Massacre: HE CAN’T SAY THAT ON TELEVISION!!!

Loren N. Chill: And while most of the wrestlers in the back are out to prove their best the world has to offer in the ring, my aim is completely different. What that aim is, you’ll just have to figure out on your own.

As Chill begins to exit the ring.

Loren N. Chill: Because if you can’t find the joke…

Chill steps outside of the ring and points to the REBELTron, still flashing “You Are The Joke”. He throws the microphone over his shoulder and makes his way back up the aisle way as “The Outsider [Apocalypse Mix]” by A Perfect Circle fills the arena once more.

Mikey Massacre: I am at a total loss for words right now, ladies and gentlemen. We were all expecting ‘Patient 4479’ and instead we get Loren Chill, who as far as I can tell is — I don’t know what he is.

The camera shows a shot of the arena from the rafters.

Mikey Massacre: Who the fuck is Loren Chill?

Linzi Martin: You don’t think he was that major signing Simon kept hyping up, do you?

Mikey Massacre: Err… Hm.

*****REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship Light Tube Death Match*****
*****Vincent Black versus Lisa Seldon©*****

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our main event of the evening!

The, racked with excitement, begin cheering before the first competitor is called – their excitement lifted further by the state of the arena. The theme for this match, as if you could escape it, is glass, or more specifically light tubes. Hundreds of them line three sides of the ring, tied into the ropes and bundled high in the corners. The one remaining side offers no ropes at all, allowing instead for a straight drop to the floor, where even more bundles of tubes line tables and come wrapped in all manner of shapes and sizes. The stage is set, and the fans are at a fever pitch.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first, the challenger…

“Carbomb” by the Acacia Strain hits as Vincent Black steps out.

Jenny Jersey: Weighing in at 331 pounds, and standing in at 6 feet 11 inches tall…

Black raises his RPW Tag Title in the air, and receives a standing ovation.

Jenny Jersey: Hailing from Glenn Falls, New York… He is one half of the REBEL Pro Tag Team Champions…

Black enters the ring, climbing in right over the top rope.

Jenny Jersey: He is… VINCENT BLAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!

The crowd cheers as he hands off his title to the time keepers for safe keeping.

Jenny Jersey: And now, the champion…

The arena gently sinks into a soft, purple haze. A light guitar gently rocks the speakers and queues up a gentle siren-esque wail.

I watched you change, into a fly
I looked away, you were on fire

Lisa Seldon steps lightly from behind the curtain, slinking through the wash of purple smoke and stepping to the stages edge.

Jenny Jersey: Fighting out of Boston, Massachusetts and weighing in at 125 pounds…

She closes her eyes and lets slip a smile as she lifts her palms up to the sky. Both her title belts are noticeable as she steps from the fog, wrapped one just above the other around her waist, while the rest of her is clothed in red and black chequered Vans’ sneakers, black bell bottom jeans and a white t-shirt, emblazoned with her own logo and name.

I watched a change in you
It’s like you never had wings

She makes a slow descent off the ramp, touching base with a few fans before skipping up onto the apron.

Jenny Jersey: She is the reigning AoWF World Champion and the defending Rebel Pro World Champion… this is… LISA SELDON!

Lisa lands on one knee, allowing her to lean back off the ropes and take a look around the room before slipping through the ropes.

Now you feel so alive
I’ve watched you change

Lisa steps carefully up the ropes, unclips both titles and hoists them high overhead to a rapturous cheer. Black meanwhile looks unfazed and toys with a chair that just happens to have light bulbs taped all across it. Lisa pays him no mind as she soaks in the chairs, before dropping down and settling to her corner. The referee then accepts her belts and carefully passes them off to someone at ringside. Both opponents begin sizing up the fight.

Linzi Martin: I’ve commentated a lot of great matches in my short time with Rebel Pro, but this one has all the makings of a classic. Two eras of Rebel Pro clashing; two of its most definitive champions and two of the most ruthless motherfuckers we’ve ever seen. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s enough glass around this ring to rewall Kibble Palace.

Mikey Massacre: I’m not even going to pretend I know where that is, but I will say that I’ve been looking forward to a match like this for a long time. And in it, I’m predicting a new world champion, one willing to help drive us back toward the way Rebel used to be… and should be again.

Linzi Martin: Bold prediction there, still, if anyone can dethrone Rebel Pro’s longest reigning champion, it’s that man right there. And there’s the bell!

Black rushes forward at the call, swings and catches the air as Lisa rolls under his first shot, jumps back to her feet and darts backwards out the way of his second. Black ruses forward and swings again, only for Lisa to throw herself down and through his legs with a Baseball Slide. Black then stumbles to the ropes and narrowly short of the glass, before turning and eating a Yakuza Kick to the chest that sends him back and crashing through the first tubes of the match, sending a shower of shards from the ring while the smoke plumes upward.

Linzi Martin: And there goes our first shot of the night!

Black grits his teeth and peels himself from the ropes, but he manages to keep hold of his chair, and as Lisa turns her back to him to catch her balance, he falls forward and rips the glass laden chair across her back.

Linzi Martin: And there’s our second! Looks like these two aren’t messing around.

Mikey Massacre: Well yeah. This isn’t some shit PWA title match. This is the Rebel fucking Pro World title.

Lisa succumbs to her knees and then rolls to the outside with Black in hot pursuit. Black then stalks her while taking off his chair, twisting it up and then wrapping it around Lisa’s throat from behind. She tries to turn into it to avoid a choke, but Black holds both ends in one hand and uses it like a collar to lead Lisa across the floor and then send her flying overhead where she crashes down hard to the concrete.

Mikey Massacre: Black showing absolutely no concern for himself as he throws as he takes the fight to Seldon. I kinda like this side of him.

Linzi Martin: He’s going to regret that when the glass starts flying again.

Mikey Massacre: Only if he gets in the way of it.

Black holds his grip on the shirt and uses it to lead her up and then back to the ring which she hits with a thump. Black then rolls in and Lisa is pulled after him, dragged into the centre of the ring and then abandoned as Vincent goes after a broken tube. He finds one with a nice enough point and then pulls Lisa’s head off the mat, sitting her up, dropping in behind with an arm around her throat and then stabbing her in the top of the head three times over before the tube comes apart in his hand.

Linzi Martin: Vincent just stabbing away at the world champion.

Mikey Massacre: Soon to be ex-world champion.

Linzi Martin: Oh really.

Mikey Massacre: Shit yeah! It’s time to bring the belt back to Rebel Pro!

Black then gets Lisa up and whips her to the ropes, only for her to drop with Baseball slide through the gap and end up back out on the floor. Black runs after her and reaches through the ropes to grab her hair, but he misses her snatching up a bundle of tubes and turning to smash them over his head, just missing his face as he manages to duck forward in time. Lisa then throws the remains to the floor and grabs a couple more tubes to take to the ring. Back inside Black falls to his backside and Lisa stands the tubes in front of him, giving her a direct point of impact as she rears back and fires off a Roundhouse Kick that shatters the glass against his chest.

Linzi Martin: And Lisa rips him in half.

Mikey Massacre: I’m surprised she’s even strong enough to break the glass!

Not content, Lisa lifts another two tubes out from the ropes and settles them against his chest once more before sticking them to him with a kick. The glass explodes in little sharps, peeling Vincent’s chest and causing a few points of blood to form. Black then gets to his knees as Lisa comes forward with more glass, only for Black to shrug it aside, push forward and drive Lisa into the ropes with a Spear, crushing her against the glass in the ropes. Vincent then tosses her to the mat and gathers up a handful of tubes of his own, which he then smashes across Lisa’s back, sending her to the mat.

Mikey Massacre: Vincent finally showing that slut what’s up.

Linzi Martin: Little harsh.

Black tosses the remains aside and hauls Lisa to her knees, whereupon he peels off her shirt, revealing a tight pleather crop top that she wears underneath, just to be safe in such occasions, and earning a few hoots and hollers from the fans.

Mikey Massacre: Looks like Vincent wants to show her what pain actually feels like for a change.

Linzi Martin: Pity she wears a top under her shirt. So says I, horrible stereotype lesbian commentator who is about as likeable as an Emily Corlen shit in your toaster.

Black tosses her shirt to some lucky, hopefully not perverted fan before putting a foot against her back and kicking her to the canvas. Vincent then steps through, grinding her chest and now exposed stomach into the various bits of broken glass now starting to fill the ring and even going as far as to lift his other foot off the mat to weigh her down further. Lisa pounds the mat with her fist, prompting the referee to step in and check her, but Lisa blows him off and weathers the pain until Vincent finally steps off. He then grabs her by the hair and shoves her into a corner.

Mikey Massacre: Showing her how a man does it.

Linzi Martin: Because the way she does it isn’t quite good enough.

Mikey Massacre: Not compared to this. Finally someone is stepping up and putting her in her place.

Lisa gets to her knees before Black lunges forward and cracks the side of her face with a knee, knocking her head to one side and cracking it off a tube in the ropes before leaving her in a heap. He then gathers up another big bundle of tubes from across the way and places them against her chest before taking up space in an adjacent corner. The fans cheer as Vincent then throws himself forward, kicks out a leg and rips through the glass, sending an explosion across the side of her face.

Mikey Massacre: HUGE Facewash from the future champ!

Linzi Martin: What’s your problem anyway, you don’t even like Black.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t, but at least he’s real Rebel Pro through and through. Not like high and mighty Lisa fucking Seldon, coming down from the heavens to teach us all how to be superstars. We don’t need fucking media darlings. We need guys like Vincent Black, kicking ass and not giving a fuck about anything else.

Vincent pulls Lisa out by the ankle and then rolls his way into a pin.

1

2

Linzi Martin: Lisa’s safe at two!

Mikey Massacre: I think safe is a bit of a reach. He’s just wearing her down.

Vincent dusts himself off and then pulls Lisa to her feet. Black then hits her with a Back Elbow to lay her up in the corner before heading across the way and picking out another heavy bundle of glass. He then turns, gets Lisa in his sights and charges forward, only for Lisa to push herself out of the corner, kick up her feet and throw up a Shotgun Dropkick that shatters the tubes against his chest and sends him back to the mat.

Linzi Martin: And Lisa fights back with a brutal Dropkick that sends him away.

Mikey Massacre: Reeked of desperation to me. She knows it’s just a matter of time before Vincent finally flattens hers.

Lisa drags herself off the mat and then sets Vincent flat with a kick. He goes down and Lisa gathers up the remains of the glass, throwing it down on his chest and then crushing it between them with a Knee-Tuck Standing Moonsault. She grimaces but bares it, and holds herself on top for a pin.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And Vincent kicks out at two.

Mikey Massacre: That’s it Vinny! Fight your way back.

Lisa staggers up and brushes the glass from her front, only for it to come up in red blotches as blood starts escape her wounds. Lisa shrugs it off and sits Black up, only to put him right back down with a Shin Kick down his spine. Black grits his teeth and rolls away, ending up back out on the free side once more. Lisa let’s him up and then fires with a Baseball Slide, catching him in the back of the head and sending him to the rail. She then urges the fans to move, causing a scatter of bodies as she waits for Black to turn and the fires at him with a dive, only for Vincent to get his hands up and send her overhead into the crowd. The fans cheer as she crashes through the chairs, but Black takes no time to celebrate, and instead pulls a table into play.

Linzi Martin: There’s a lot of glass lain across that table.

Mikey Massacre: Vincent pulling out the big guns!

Black then reaches over the rail and snatches Lisa up in a Front Facelock, where he easily lifts Lisa up for a Vertical Suplex. The fans start a count but he only holds her straight for a second before falling back and crushing the light-tube laden table beneath them, which goes up in a great cloud of glass, dust and splinters.

Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit!

Linzi Martin: Holy shit is right!

The crowd sing on as Vincent pulls himself up and brings Lisa after, both now bleeding profusely. That doesn’t stop him carrying on though, and he tosses her up to the mat before throwing himself on her for the cover.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And the champ saves herself.

Mikey Massacre: Get this shit done, Vincent and bring the belt back home already!

Black pushes Lisa away and then turns to setup another light-tube wrapped table at ringside. He then jumps back into the ring and goes at Lisa with a Double Axe-Handle shot before pulling her into a Standing Headscissors.

Linzi Martin: He’s going for the New Hope!

Mikey Massacre: He really needs to change that fucking name.

Black reaches down but Lisa grabs a leg and drops to her knees, preventing him getting her into the air. Black instead steps back and drops a fist into her back before standing her up and into an Irish Whip. Lisa however holds on, turns and throws up a leg to smash him in the side of the head with Roundhouse Kick, instantly sinking him to a knee. Lisa staggers back but stays up and then steps forward to tear a knee through his face, sending him to the canvas. Lisa then falls into a cover.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And Black pulls out the escape again.

Lisa pulls herself out of the sticky mess they’re quickly becoming and grabs another few tubes out of the ropes. She the lines them up together and pulls Vincent up to all fours above him. Lisa then puts a foot on the back of his head.

Linzi Martin: Curb Stomp!

And drives it down, shattering the hollow tubes against his forehead, much to the enjoyment of the fans who continue cheering her on. Vincent kicks his feet but soon settles when Lisa puts a foot in his ribs and rolls him to his back.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And Vincent Black makes it two yet again!

Lisa pulls herself up and into the ropes, sliding out another two tubes as she waits for him to stand. She then rushes forward with the tubes outstretched and buries them into his chest with a kick that sends him across the way. Not to be out done though, Vincent pulls free some glass of his and swings back, shattering it across the top of Lisa’s head and sending her away. Lisa then returns once more, burying another glass filled kick into his stomach and prompting Vincent to hulk up again and rattle her over the head with another tube shot of his own which sends her to a knee.

Linzi Martin: And now they’re really laying into each other!

Mikey Massacre: Don’t duel with her. Put her the fuck down already.

Black stumbles back into the ropes as he waits for Lisa to stand, only to watch as she pulls herself to her feet, grabs another bundle of glass and drives it into his chest on the end of a kick. The fans jump to their feet and Vincent does the same, grabbing another handful of tubes and rushing her again.

Linzi Martin: Swing and a miss!

Lisa ducks the shot and lets the glass shatter against the mat. She then grabs some more tubes of her own and turns but Black is already waiting, and as Lisa gets the tubes up, he pounces forward and rips through them with a huge right hand.

Mikey Massacre: Motherfucking Haymaker! And he wipes her out.

Vincent stumbles back with his hand a mess. Lisa meanwhile falls into the ropes, weeping glass and blood and barely able to stand. Vincent shakes it out his hand while pulling Lisa out of the ropes with the other. He then pulls her in to a knee in the stomach and secures a Gutwrench. Lisa tries to kick free but he barely gives her a second before he tosses her into the air, spins her around and then fires her back into the canvas, sending a spray of glass up off the mat with the force.

Linzi Martin: Huge Aeroplane Spin Gutwrench Powerbomb thing!

Mikey Massacre: Cover! Finish her!

Black drops to his knees on top of her.

1

2

Linzi Martin: No! Lisa kicks out at two!

Black pulls himself off of Lisa and then grabs another bundle of tubes from the corner and holds them high above his head to force a reaction from the fans. Lisa however manages to pull herself to her knees and takes him down with a Legsweep. Vincent then falls to his back and Lisa gets up, jumps into the air and coils up her legs, bringing her full weight down on top of him with a Double Stomp and bursting the glass against his chest.

Linzi Martin: Huge Double Stomp from the champ! And look at the blood fly!

Lisa crashes straight through Black and then drops into him for a cover.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And he’s out at two!

Mikey Massacre: Stop pissing around!

Lisa fights her way off him and stumbles into the corner for another thick bundle of tubes that she sets up across the middle turnbuckle. Lisa then turns back to Vincent and dodges a Clothesline. Black falls and almost collides with the glass, only to save himself with the ropes. It doesn’t stop Lisa getting the jump on him though, as she throws her knees into the back of his head and smashes him face first into the glass.

Linzi Martin: Oh! She might have just ripped his face off!

Mikey Massacre: She weighs about 100 pounds. How much impact can that even be!

Lisa drops behind him and pulls Black into a modified School Boy Roll-Up.

Linzi Martin: Oyster Shell! She’s got him tight!

1

Mikey Massacre: Kick out!

2

Linzi Martin: No! The ref calls it two! He’s still in.

Lisa pushes Black away with disgust and drops out of the ring to gather up some supplies. The fans are then roused as she returns with what can best be described as a light tube log cabin, stacked four tubes high on each side. She carefully pushes it to the centre of the ring and then hangs Black over it on all flours before hitting the ropes behind him.

Linzi Martin: He’s going through!

Mikey Massacre: Move you stupid piece of shit.

Lisa kicks off his back and brings her feet down with a Double Stomp, but Black steps back and let’s her land on the mat, before grabbing her around the waist and tossing her straight up into the air.

Linzi Martin: What strength!

Mikey Massacre: She doesn’t weigh shit. That’s like tossing a plastic bag in the wind.

Lisa finds herself on his shoulders and throws a few fists to get free, but Vincent steps forward, pushes her up and then sits out, bringing her face first down into a mess of tubes that that burst across her front.

Mikey Massacre: Electric Chair Drop! And that bitch is toast!

Vincent struggles but rolls her onto her back.

1

2

Mikey Massacre: 3!

Linzi Martin: No, it was only a 2 count!

Mikey Massacre: It was 3!

Black pulls himself up with the ref and threatens to knock him out, but the ref stands his ground and waves two fingers in his face. Black then pushes the man to the floor. He then lifts Lisa to her knees and points down to the table at ringside.

Mikey Massacre: Now we’re talking.

Vincent Black hunkers down and brings Lisa up onto his shoulders in a Fireman’s Carry before crossing the mat. Black moves to the edge of the ring and prepares to jump, but Lisa swings a knee up into his jaw, catching him off guard and allowing her to slip from his grasp. Lisa lands behind him and waits for him to turn, where she sinks a kick into his gut to bend him forward before stepping back and lashing out with a Superkick, blasting him just under the jaw and sending him stumbling back to the edge.

Linzi Martin: He’s teetering! He’s gonna fall!

Black saves himself from plummeting and staggers a step forward to safety, but Lisa has other ideas and charges forward, brings both her knees up and crashes them through his chest, sending both of them over the edge. The crowd scream as both competitors fall from the ring and Black hits the table with an explosion of glass at his back before the wood splinters beneath. Lisa herself rides it through, sending him through to the floor before she spills forward off him to safety.

Linzi Martin: My God! Vincent Black has just been destroyed.

Mikey Massacre: What the fuck is he doing? He’s a Rebel Pro icon and this 125 pound whore is ripping the shit out of him.

Linzi Martin: Well she is the longest reigning champion in Rebel Pro history.

Mikey Massacre: She’s fighting the motherfucking Phoenix and a brain dead Bubba J! She’ll run forever if Black doesn’t stop her, but he’s too busy lying on his face eating glass and inhaling poisonous fumes!

The two are them are a mess at this point, wounded and bleeding profusely all over. Lisa pulls herself up with the rail and touches the top of her head where a deep gash has been building through the night. The rest of her doesn’t look much better, with blood dripping down in a trail down her forehead and the rest of her wracked with cuts. Black doesn’t look an better, smeared in his own blood, and as he lifts his head its clear there’s a deep slip straight across it from his last fall. Never the less, Lisa waits for him to rise before throwing a punt kick straight between his eyes and snapping his head back. Lisa then grabs the nearest glass thing and breaks it across his chest for good measure.

Linzi Martin: All finesse is tossed aside and now Lisa is just lighting him up.

Mikey Massacre: Funny, she spends all this time pretending she’s above everyone here. Well now that entitled, elitist bitch gets a chance to feel what it’s like to be in a fight for your life.

Lisa clears the resounding area of things and sets about a little building project consisting of two bundles of tubes placed so far apart with a few more lain across them in a bridge. Lisa then picks one more item out of a pile and holds it high for everyone to see.

Mikey Massacre: It’s…

Linzi Martin: It’s a giant light tube Star of David.

Mikey Massacre: But why?

Linzi Martin: I guess it was so Vincent wouldn’t feel left out.

Mikey Massacre: Wait, what?

Linzi Martin: Well, he’s Vincent Black, isn’t he. He’s Jewish.

Mikey Massacre: …

Linzi Martin: Isn’t that how they do it? With colour names?

Mikey Massacre: … No it’s alloys, you thick shit!

Linzi Martin: Not always!

Mikey Massacre: Name me one other famous Jew who’s name is just a colour.

Linzi Martin: Marina Blue.

Mikey Massacre: Go fuck yourself.

Jewy or not, it’s big and so Lisa adds it to the top of the pile before feeding Vincent in with a kick. She then sets up and jumps for a Guillotine Facebuster, but Black stands up through it, catching her other leg in the process and letting her hang from his shoulders. Black than drags Lisa into the air and takes a running leap toward the glass.

Mikey Massacre: The New Hope!

Lisa holds on tight but it’s a pointless gesture as Vincent points the back of her head into the glass and hammers it through to the floor. Ripping a further deep gash through it before cracking her off the floor, and letting her fall dead in his hands.

Mikey Massacre: Go for the pin, you fuck! End this!

Vincent slumps back, blood pumping from every cut and his eyes starting to glaze, but never the less he fights through the pain, pushing her legs back and stacking her for the pin.

1

2

3!

Linzi Martin: No!!

Mikey Massacre: Oh what the hell!?

The referee’s hand never hit! She’s still in it!

Linzi Martin: This is some bullshit!

Black falls back in defeat as Lisa kicks free to safety. The fans meanwhile are on their feet, stomping, banging the rails and cheering both competitors on. With the crowd behind him, Black is drawn back to his feet.

Linzi Martin: This is insane. These two are going to kill each other.

Mikey Massacre: As long as that mouthy cunt drops the belt I don’t care how it happens. It’s time for a change back to the old ways, and if Vincent has to be the guy to do it, then I’ll live with it.

Lisa is finally peeled off the floor, exposing her back which, for a moment, is stuck solid to the floor. Off the ground her back is exposed to the camera and every stomach turns at the sight, her back raw, awash in blood and the skin even starting to peel. Black refuses to let up though and throws her into the ring before securing some more goods. He then pushes in a few more items, namely a few more bails of tubes a table and one more giant bundle of fluorescent glass, strapped together in a giant cross.

Linzi Martin: Oh this is just getting ridiculous.

Lisa gets to her knees before Vincent cracks another tube off the back of her head to lay her out. He then sets up the table and layers it in every tube he can find, including the giant ominous cross as its centre piece. He then turns to Lisa and pulls her to her feet.

Mikey Massacre: New Hope again. And now surely it’s time to put her away.

Black raises his fists over his head and soaks in a cheer, before finally dragging Lisa up and over his shoulder. He then charges at the table, only to feel her slip out and fall behind. She lands shaky on her feet but manages to catch him on the turn and fires forward with her heel smashing into his chest. Lisa then catches the back of his head and pulls him forward, right into a knee that splits his jaw.

Linzi Massacre: Muay-Thai Clinch! And this is where she put him out last time!

Mikey Massacre: Shake her the fuck off! She’s half your size!

Lisa rattles him with one from the right and then a second from the left that opens up a further gash, but he shrugs her off and catches her next shot, allowing him to drive her back into the ropes and destroying any glass left hanging amongst them. Lisa winces at the pain and throws out an elbow to force him back and allow her to scrape down the ropes, catching all manner of flakes and shards before she hits the floor.

Mikey Massacre: It’s time to end this shit!

Black stumbles to the table, but grabs the first taped up bundle at hand and turns, right into the path of Lisa Seldon, who jumps up, catches them with her heel and shatters them against the side of his head.

Linzi Martin: Heads Will Roll!

Lisa falls in a heap as Black drops forward, stiff as a board. Lisa then throws herself across the mat and pushes him onto his back.

Linzi Martin: Lisa falls into the cover!

Mikey Massacre: Don’t you die on me you fat fuck!

1

2

Mikey Massacre: Kickout!

Linzi Martin: It’s just two! It’s just two!

The fans are beside themselves and whipped into a frenzy as the referee frantically waves the match on. Lisa meanwhile slumps to her knees and pushes a thick wet mess of blood soaked hair from her eyes, visibly stumped as to what to do next. The fans spur her on though and Lisa pounds the mat, causing the fans to take up the rhythm and drive her to fight on.

Linzi Martin: The atmosphere in here is insane! It’s an old and new Rebel Pro collision and the fans don’t know who to pick. It’s deafening.

Mikey Massacre: Then these must be the new fans, because the people who were here when I was coming up woulda driven her and her PWA shit out into the street.

Linzi Martin: She’s not even a PWA wrestler! She’s Rebel Pro!

Mikey Massacre: She’s about as Rebel Pro as you are.

Lisa throws herself into the ropes and uses them for stability as she fights back up. She then looms over Vincent with a Double Underhook and pulls him to his knees, where upon she fires a sickening flurry of knees of her own into his chest. Vincent eats five or six before he is finally able to push her off, but he succumbs to the blows and falls forward, allowing Lisa to rip through his face with a kick as she comes off the ropes. Black falls into the ropes and ends up on his feet, only to fall forward into a kick that doubles him over. Lisa then grabs some nearby glass, holds it up against his chest and then sticks it through him with the point of her knee to send him to the corner. Not content there though, Lisa rushes forward, throws up her leg and shatters the side of his jaw with a Yakuza Kick.

Linzi Martin: Horrendous flurry of moves from Lisa! And the fans are firmly behind her.

Mikey Massacre: Then they’re all sycophantic motherfuckers with no real knowledge or respect for the guys who got us here.

Lisa struggles to free her leg until Black helps her out, pushing her up and across the ring. Lisa fights through though and comes up standing, allowing her to block a kick and spin him to his back while she does the same, coming round and rattling his skull with a Roaring Elbow to the back of his head. Black falls into the ropes again but comes back with an Elbow before turning and firing off a few quick body blows. He then catches an arm and tries to reel her in for a Clothesline, but Lisa ducks under and comes up behind him, where she drives her heel into the back of his knee to take him down. Lisa then grabs another bundle of fluorescent lights from the table, hoists them up high and then brings them down to bare, shattering across the back off his head.

Linzi Martin: Lisa is laying waste to the ring!

Glass and fog flies in every direction, but Lisa isn’t done, and grabs up yet more and more glass, shattering it all across his head. Black falls to all fours as Lisa runs wild, picking up everything she can and blasting him with it until there’s nothing left with wreckage. She then finds herself with the glass cross, matching her in size and earning a cheer of it’s own, but instead of attacking she puts it aside and pulls Black up onto the table. She then fires off a wicked series of forearms to soften him up, before turning with the light tube cross and laying it across his chest.

Linzi Martin: She’s heading for the ropes!

Lisa collapses into the corner, but wastes no time in throwing herself up to the second before clambering to the third. Black is already starting to stir, forcing Lisa to take her chance and leap up; pulling her knees in beneath as she flies high into the air.

Linzi Martin: Horror Pop!

Mikey Massacre: Move dammit!

Lisa lands through an ungodly sound, falling knees first and tearing through everything between her and the mat, sending hunks of glass into Black’s while cracking him against the wood. Shards of glass blast back and catch her about the face, but Lisa drives through, and breaks him against the mat. As Vincent hits the mat so do her knees, and she doesn’t so much move as she does slump with a cover as the ref rushes in.

1

Mikey Massacre: No!

2

Mikey Massacre: Kick out you useless piece of shit!

3!

Linzi Martin: And that’s three! She’s done it! She retains.

The cheer goes up at the count of three, and Lisa, finally finished, falls to her back.

Announcer: Here is your winner… And STILL Rebel Pro World Champion… LISA SELDON!!!

Mikey tosses his water bottle at the ring in disgust at the decision. The fans meanwhile are a buzz, and a chant of her name rings across the arena.

Linzi Martin: Well you can pout all you want, but you can’t deny when it came to the night, she was the better wrestler.

Mikey Massacre: She beat fucking Vincent Black, and now she’s going to celebrate like she just won the fucking Superbowl.

Lisa pulls herself up with the ropes and tosses her hand into the air. The referee then hands off her belt and steps aside as Lisa jumps up into the neatest corner and tosses it up high to the approval of the fans.

Mikey Massacre: I mean look at her; she’s 125 pounds! We’re trying to take the ethics we built on and turn this into one of the biggest companies in the world, and yet we’ve got this embarrassment on top. We have a 125 pound HEAVYWEIGHT champion!

Linzi Martin: She’s the best wrestler we have.

Mikey Massacre: Beating fucking Vincent Black and Bubba J doesn’t make you the best and it certainly doesn’t mean you deserve to be the World fucking Champion. This is the best company in the world and yet this tiny, stupid bitch is making us look like a laughing stock! We built this place on a foundation of hardcore, ass kicking action, and yet our best guys can’t even seem to get past this pair of tits attached to a world title!

Mikey punches the announce desk.

Mikey Massacre: Fuck this shit.

Mikey throws down his headset and storms away. Meanwhile Lisa leaves one corner and takes over another, throwing up her belt and soaking in the admiration of the fans. What she doesn’t see then is Mikey Massacre sliding into the ring with a florescent light in hand, and as Lisa jumps off the ropes and turns, she walks right into a shot from Mikey Massacre, who breaks the light across her face.

Linzi Martin: Oh my God! He just hit her in the eye!

Lisa goes down holding her face and Mikey sets about her, dropping kicks any space he can find before snatching up the chair from earlier and burying it across her back. Lisa goes down and Mikey drops it again and again, stopping only once to push the referee aside before cracking the belt across her head and tossing it to the mat.

Linzi Martin: Mikey has just gone insane!

Referee’s flood the ring and force Mikey to back off, they then crowd Lisa and try to help her up, only for Mikey to come back and start tossing bodies aside. He then snatches what must be the very last bundle of tubes and lays them across Lisa’s front before lifting the chair again and making for the ropes. Referee’s flood in again but they’re too late, as Mikey comes off the ropes with the chair at his chest and explodes the glass against Lisa with a Frogsplash.

Linzi Martin: Mikey destroys Lisa with the Sellout! He’s going nuts on her.

Mikey rolls away, clutching his front and breathing hard, but a smile finally creeps across his stomach as he watches the referees swarm the downed opponent. Mikey then clambers back to his feet and looks down from Lisa to Vincent, scrunches up his face and then spits in his face. The majority of the fans are shocked into silence, while the rest let him know how they feel, turning on him and showering him in hate. Mikey shrugs it off though and turns to the back, leaving both competitors down and in his wake.

Linzi Martin: My God, I don’t know what’s gotten into him.

One team helps Black out of the ring while the other helps up Lisa. The camera moves in and it’s clear that the area around her eye is cut bad while the rest of her remains torn to shreds. They move in closer still to pick up some sound, and just manage to catch Lisa telling one of the referees that she can’t see out of her right eye.

Linzi Martin: Well I guess she’s the winner tonight, but she certainly doesn’t look it now.

Lisa is helped from the ring and to the back, but still stops once at the top of the ramp to turn and hoist her title into the air.

*****The Game Has Changed*****

Just as Lisa turns around to exit, “Knights of Cydonia” by Muse hits over the speakers. The REBELTron goes black, the lights go out except for a single spotlight at the entrance itself where Lisa is. She looks up, still fucked up and unable to even see clearly.

Linzi Martin: No way… No way. The mystery man! The big signing! It’s… It’s…

The name burns into the REBELTron, and the crowd goes NUTS.

F.L.Y.N.N.

Jamie Flynn steps out, the arena is thunderous in their reaction.

Linzi Martin: Holy SHIT! JAMIE FLYNN IS IN REBEL PRO?!

Flynn holds up neatly stapled stack of papers. The camera zooms in to find it is, indeed, a REBEL Pro contract. Lisa breathes heavily, staring across at him. Flynn holds up the contract for her to see, smirking as he points to the gold on her shoulders.

Linzi Martin: What the FUCK! Mikey Massacre goes nuts! Lisa somehow, some way manages to overcome a relentless Vinny Black and now this… Jamie fucking Flynn in REBEL Pro! WHOA!

Lisa raises her World titles in the air, strongly and confidently as she stares back at him.

Linzi Martin: We’re out of time… My god. For Mikey Massacre… This is Linzi Martin! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

We fade to one last shot of both Flynn and Seldon staring each other down as we fade to the REBEL Pro logo…

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Virgil Keenan defeats Bobby Lee & Jimmy Henderson, thanfully the alien invasion of Earth has yet to happen.. For now.
Jaice Wilds defeats Lucious Starr as PWA’s World Champ Panzadise fucks shit up
Legion defeats Gabe Shelley and the world is a darker place for it.
Matt Stone defeats Suukya, after Maverick gets himself a fancy replacement. Who dies.
Case Filed Rockets defeat Style Clash to become NOC to Tag Titles in a controversial finish!
Violet Harper defeats J.T. Whiplash, but only narrowly avoiding being dethroned. Sexy Time Continues!
Lisa Seldon defeats Vincent Black in a crazy wild death match with light tubes and then Mikey Massacre fucks everyone and everything up with Jamie Flynn popping in at the end of it all to let us know, hey, he’s here and you’re probably fucked.

THE BLOAD SOAKED EDITION!
(Kinda like every show, really. Stop being a smart ass)

*****This Is Why We Can‘t Have Nice Things*****

We fade in following the intro, with Kalis sitting at his desk, his face buried in his hands. There is a shiny metal briefcase on his desk which we take note of.

Simon Kalis: I let you run the show for one night, Jer. One damn night.

Kalis looks up and holds up a local paper from Chattanooga.

Simon Kalis: And the world implodes in on itself.

Gold sighs, as he sits across from Simon. Rupert the Kangaroo is eating a piece of lettuce, nodding.

Rupert The Kangaroo: *Making kangaroo noises, whatever that is.*

Jeremy Gold: Yeah, I know Rupert.

Kalis rolls his eyes.

Simon Kalis: What do I do with you?

Jeremy Gold: Give me an assistant.

Kalis spins in his chair. We imagine if he had hair, he’d pull it out.

Simon Kalis: You’re supposed to be my assistant.

Jeremy Gold: I thought I was the General Manager! Almost the whole time, you’ve never let me generally manage anything.

Rupert The Kangaroo hisses.

Simon Kalis: No, because you’re an idiot. If I actually left you to your own devices, Bobby Lee would threaten you and get a World title shot every week.

Gold scratches his chin, and nods.

Jeremy Gold: True, but…

Kalis reaches under his desk and hands Gold a baseball bat.

Jeremy Gold: Wha… What’s this for?

Kalis points to the door.

Simon Kalis: Your match. Get the fuck out of here, bro. And try not to shit yourself this time. We get complaints from the other wrestlers that the ring smells like urine and feces after you’re in it.

Gold quivers, biting his bottom lip as he gets up.

Jeremy Gold: What about Inferno? Where’s Inferno?

Kalis shrugs.

Simon Kalis: Don’t worry, I got you a new tag team partner.

Jeremy Gold: You did?! IS IT YOU?!

Kalis looks himself over, decked out in a tailor made Brioni suit.

Simon Kalis: Does it look like it’s me?

Gold sighs, and Rupert pats him on the back as Gold gets up to leave. He stops, a light bulb over his head we imagine.

Jeremy Gold: Is my tag partner Rupert?!

The kangaroo lights a cigarette then looks up surprised.

Simon Kalis: Are you kidding me? The kangaroo? No.

Gold sighs, and walks out as Simon taps the metal briefcase as the door shuts behind Gold.

Female Voice: I’m ready.

Kalis turns his head to the bathroom as the door opens, and a fairly fat woman in all black steps out. Her face is covered by a mask, with a hood over her head. But one things for certain… She’s fat as fuck.

Simon Kalis: Good luck, sweety. Try not to let him die.

She giggles as she steps passed Simon and nods.

Masked Woman: I won’t.

*****Style Clash versus Golden Inferno*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following is a First Blood Special Tag Team Match!

“Born This Way” by Lady GaGa hits.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first!

Gold steps out from backstage with some trepidation as his rainbow themed light laser show goes off. He’s decked out in an Adidas track suit as he jogs to the ring, his trusty Red Bull in hand which he quickly chugs.

Jenny Jersey: He is the General Manager of REBEL Pro… JEREMY GOLD!!!

Gold slides into the ring, feeling pumped from his Red Bull and cigarette diet as he hops around the ring, throwing his arms up bravely. The music stops, and “It’s Raining Men” by Gerri Halliwell hits over the speakers.

Jenny Jersey: His tag partner!

A bunch of shirtless yet buff looking men, run out onto the stage and begin dancing and gyrating. The female fans in the crowd are loving it, but the male fans are all “WTF”…

Jenny Jersey: She stands in at 5’8 tall, weighing in at not actually 776 pounds…

The mysterious woman jumps out, grinding against one of the men as she bobs her head to the theme.

Jenny Jersey: She hails from somewhere in Illinois!

Gold is dancing around and winking at the guys on stage who try to ignore his weird ass as he twirls his arms in the air, happy at the thought of the sky raining men.

Mikey Massacre: Dear god…

Linzi Martin: What a GREAT way to open up Aggression! YEAH! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HISTORY! IT’S GONNA START RAINING MEN!

Mikey Massacre: …

Linzi Martin: SING WITH ME! IT’S RAINING MEN!!!!! COME ON MIKEY!

Linzi seems to be enjoying the eccentric entrance.

Jenny Jersey: Making her triumphant return to the REBEL Pro…

Mikey Massacre: Wait a god damn minute.

The woman rips her hoody off to reveal a tight fitting sports bra, and her mask drops… The crowd jeers in terror as the sports bra does everything in its power not to rip apart at this obese womans massive rolls and sagging breasts.

Jenny Jersey: THE RUBY VAGINE… EMLEE KORLIN!!!!

Mikey Massacre: Oh my god…

She runs down to the ring, though has to stop in order to make sure she doesn’t run out of breath. She begns ripping off her black sweat pants to reveal some booty shorts which cannot contain the jowls and flaps of her tubby ass as she hops and skips around the ring slapping the hands of the fans she passes. Gold is running in circles, so happy as Ruby Vagine hops up onto the apron and bends over very sexually, slapping her ass before climbing into the ring and joining Jeremy Gold in an awkward dance. A few fans at ringside puke in disgust.

Linzi Martin: Whoa! I did not need to see that!

Mikey Massacre: I don’t think anyone did, Linzi.

The party ends though as “Love and War” by Drowning Pool hits.

Jenny Jersey: And their opponents! Introducing first… He hails from Boulder, Colorado…

Taboo steps out onto the stage, the fans going nuts as they bare witness to a legend in the flesh.

Jenny Jersey: He is TABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Taboo shoots his arms up, the crowd going nuts as Jeremy Gold grabs onto some fat flab from Korlin and cries into it.

An old fashioned movie countdown begins over the REBELTron…

3.…

2.…

1.……

Pyros EXPLODE all over the stage and around the ring.

Jenny Jersey: And fighting out of Durham, North Carolina… “THE SHOW” Chad Kurtis!!!!

Kurtis joins Taboo atop the stage and both men look intense, focused and above all else ready as they make their way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: Together, they are…. STYLE CLASH!!!

They bum rush the ring and open up a can of whoop ass on Gold and Korlin.

DING DING DING

Taboo grabs onto Korlin and hits her with a belly to belly suplex to the canvas as Chad Kurtis implant DDTs Gold hard into the canvas. Kurtis with a moonsault right onto Gold as Taboo lifts Korlin up again. Taboo with a snap suplex, the impact shaking the ring. Kurtis has Gold in the corner, Gold is begging for his dear life as Kurtis gives him a few good knife edge chops across the chest.

Mikey Massacre: Style Clash is BACK in the business baby, and what a beat down they’re laying on the new Golden Inferno tandem!

Linzi Martin: Poor Jeremy, he’s already crying.

Gold begins SCREAMING AS LOUD AS HE CAN at Chad Kurtis. Kurtis backs away, holding his ears and Gold begins slapping him silly with both hands to no real effect. Kurtis just stands there taking the slaps and scratches, unimpressed as Taboo just mashes Korlin out with a German suplex.

Linzi Martin: I feel bad for Emily Corlen.

Mikey Massacre: You mean Emlee Korlin!

Linzi Martin: No, I meant Corlen. This Korlin bitch is obviously an underhanded shot at The Emerald Phoenix.

Mikey Massacre: Yeah, wonder what makes you think that.

Gold flips himself over the top rope to the outside and begins running. Kurtis springboards himself off the ropes with an asai moonsault and catches Gold perfectly on the outside. Korlin goes for a heavy fist to Taboo, but Taboo dodges and grabs onto her but his grip slips off the greasy fat womans flab. Taboo grabs her again, Northern Lights suplex! He immediately grabs her leg and locks in the Taboo Squeeze!!! His grip keeps slipping off her as Crisco expunges itself via sweat from her body, and she’s tapping out.

Mikey Massacre: Tonight, everything is first blood.

Linzi Martin: Yep!

Kurtis whips Jeremy Gold into the barricade which separates fans from the action. Gold can be seen begging a fan to save him but the five year old child just giggles. Kurtis pulls gold back and then cracks his head over the metal post. Kurtis goes under the ring, inside Korlin is screaming for Raptor Jesus to save her as Taboo finally lets go of the hold. Kurtis grabs a bat from under the ring. He swings! Gold ducks! It splinters! He swings again, and now it catches Gold across the forehead!

Mikey Massacre: GOLD IS BLEEDING! His team has one minute to make either Taboo or Kurtis bleed!

Gold begins crying as he bleeds all over the place. Meanwhile, The Ruby Vagine is free of Taboo’s non-stop suplexing her fat jowly ass to hell. She begins to climb the turnbuckles, the ring is creaking. Kurtis steps back on the outside, shaking his head at Taboo who does his best to size up the flying elephant. The counter is at 30 seconds.

Mikey Massacre: No… No… DON’T DO IT!

Emlee Korlin jumps off with a body splash, but Taboo catches her… BIG BANG THEORY!!! THE RING FUCKING IMPLODES UPON IMPACT!!! She is DONE. Taboo is like WHOA! Kurtis is shocked! Gold is crying! The counter hits 5!

4…

3.…

2.…

1…

DING DING DING

Kurtis keeps beating on Gold with the splintered bat, as Gold tries to escape. Korlin is bleeding from the impact, or it might be period blood. Taboo is careful as he steps out of the now crushed ring.

Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match… Taboo and Chad Kurtis… STYLE CLASH!!!!

The ref raises their hands and the crowd cheers the violence, but now ring technicians need to rebuild the ring which will surely cause a delay.

Mikey Massacre: First Hardcore Entertainment dethrone Seldon and Corlen. Then Case and Logan show their allegiances, forming Case Filed Rockets.

Linzi Martin: Now Style Clash here in REBEL Pro.

Mikey Massacre: The tag team division in REBEL Pro is on fire.

We see one more shot of the triumphant Taboo and Kurtis as we fade commercials.

*****Support The AoWF!*****

There’s all kinds of flashes of violence, culminating with Bogard winning the Grizzly Beer title!

Voiceover: The Pioneer Wrestling Association proudly presents Sunday Night Rampage, every Sunday! Check your local listings and catch such super awesome stars as The New Age Panzies, Matthew Engel, Vic Wagner, Thomas Manchester Black, that boss status figure Cody Bogard and more!

PWA SUNDAY NIGHT RAMPAGE! COOL!

There’s sparkles, flowers and other weird things… Then we see footage of Wood getting stapled in the face by Johnny Maverick.

Voiceover: Do you like things?! How about things being broken over the faces of people?! Or moose? Or car rides through an arena with weird eWo people trying to hang you from the rafters?! If so, check out Victory Wrestling’s Television every Thursday night! It’s awesome, and the REBEL Pro boss is on there doing silly things! You get to see stars like Anna Mathews and her haunted vagina! Johnny Maverick break Woods face! Marvin Wood break Johnny Mavericks legs! Teresa Quaranta! Can’t forget her! And other awesome people! Like Phoenix!

We see Phoenix with the CCTV Title.

Voiceover: But fuck that guy!

VICTORY! TELEVISION! YEAH!

It fades now again… We see things burning, the BWF World title being destroyed and bang!

Voiceover: Sometimes when all the dust has settled… all that’s left is Animosity! And that’s where you’ll find some of the awesome stars in BWF! From the Buffalo Butcher Finale, to Emily Corlen and Anton Chase. No one can forget the beautiful Abbie Edwards, and the legendary BWF US Champion Corey Lazarus! Check them out and more weekly Thursdays on BWF Thursday Night Animosity!

BWF ANIMOSITY! YOU KNOW IT!

We fade back to the arena now as…

*****Damn, I Had To Piss*****

Camera cuts backstage where we find Bubba J walking a bit unsteadily, but not because he’s drunk, but because he’s looking for something.

Bubba J: Damn, I’ve got to take a piss!”

He comes up on Simon’s car and spies it like its the best damn toilet imaginable.

Bubba J: This’ll fix that black sumbitch.”

J tries to open up the door, but of course its locked, but Bubba J has the master key. After looking around for a moment, he lifts his leg and kicks out the driver side window and unlocks the door. Opening the door, he looks around again as we hear an unzipping sound and his pants drop slightly and a sound of pissing pleasure comes from his throat.

Bubba J: Yeah, that feels good.”

He continues looking around and as he does so, he pisses all over the dash, the seat, floorboard, and side of the car.

Bubba J: Damn, I had to piss like a mofo.”

He finishes up, the yellow piss soaking into the driver side seat as Bubba J zips up and heads inside the building.

*****J.T. Whiplash versus Lucious Starr*****

Linzi Martin: Well, at least the ring is finally fixed!

“Fuck You” hits up in the speakers as freaking mutated sharks with freaking laser beams are attached to their freakin’ heads. The freaking laser beamed covered sharks begin to shoot the freaking laser beams at freaking angry mutated sea bass with soggy blow darts attached to their mutated freaking heads. Lucious Starr walks out, looking up at the Rebel-tron in disgust.

Jenny Jersey: Since Lucious couldn’t be bothered with creating an entrance for himself here in Rebel Pro, here ya go! Oh and here is Lucious Starr.

The lights go out as an image of a copperhead slithering down a dirt road airs on the REBEL-Tron as the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play with the snake slithering down the path. The snake then coils up in position to strike as the bagpipe intro ends and “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system as red, white, and blue lighting goes off throughout the arena. Just then, a spot-light shines on J.T. Whiplash in his wrestling attire, holding a Rebel flag as the fans erupt in cheers. J.T. then waves the Rebel flag in the air hollering as he does so. He then puts the flag over his shoulder as he makes his way to the ring slowly, tagging hands with as many fans as he can get to as he gets to the end of the ramp-way, pausing as he waves his Rebel flag around again before walking to the ring steps and sticking his Rebel flag in the ring post as he steps over the middle rope and climbs in the ring, shouting and hollering for the fans to cheer as he climbs up each second turn-buckle and lets out a loud “YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAWWW!!!” as he gives the crowd a bull-horn sign before he paces back and forth in the ring like a pissed-off hyena as he runs against the ropes a couple of times before going back to pacing as the music dies down.

Ding Ding

JT comes out right handing Lucious Starr right in the damn face, rocking it back on his neck. But give Starr credit, his head bounces back into JT’s face sending him back more out of surprise than anything else. Starr presses his advantage with a right punch faint, but jabs him right in the damn mouth with a left hook sending JT’s head spinning to the side; Starr completes the mini combo with a boot to the midsection and a whip into the ropes. JT comes back, Starr lowering his head for a back body, JT nails him right in the fucking face with his steel toed boot that causes Starr to stand up and look a bit woozy; JT sending him over to the concrete with a clothesline. JT steps through the ropes, double axe handle smash onto Starr before pulling him up.

Mikey Massacre: This match is a full on brawl!

Linzi Martin: You expect anything different from Rebel Pro?

Starr with a double fisted nut shot halts JT’s offense and the whip into the ringpost brings the first blood of the match. JT spins around, blood coming from his nose that managed to smash full on into the post.

Jenny Jersey: JT Whiplash has one minute to make Lucious Starr to bleed or he will lose the match.

JT falls down to one knee, Lucious Starr nailing him with an uppercut swinging steel chair effectively busting his nose open worse and causing the stitches on his forehead to bust open and more blood to ooze out.

Mikey Massacre: A bit of an unfair match for both men; now all Lucious has to do is run away and he wins.

Linzi Martin: He will never do that, he’s way to proud.

Starr holds JT’s throat down with the back of the steel chair as the minute ticks down to forty-five seconds; JT’s face turning a dark shade of red. Lucious points down to JT and mocks him in front of the crowd as JT tries to get the chair off his throat. Lucious continues to mock him by shoving the chair down harder and getting right in his face. JT nails him with a meaty right, sending Starr falling backwards and the chair off his throat. The timer is down to thirty-five seconds as JT struggles to catch his breath and make Starr bleed before the inute is up. Starr comes back with a running boot, but JT is ready for it, catching the kick and sending Starr into the railing strictly out of instinct. The time is now down to twenty-seven seconds as JT is still struggling to catch his breath Shaking his head JT turns towards Lucious, who is getting up with a smile on his face and pointing to the Rebel-tron that now reads twenty-one seconds. JT comes charging at him, but as Starr spins to the right; JT catches him, bringing him into a full nelson, spinning and driving him face first into the railing. Seventeen seconds on the timer as JT breaks a beer bottle to get a quick bleeding weapon and jabs it at Lucious Starr’s face; however Starr knees JT in the crotch again, or there abouts, and accomplishes by rolling him off and not making it easy on the Confederate Copperhead. Starr stumbles to the ring apron, but JT’s fighting through the pain, as he accepts a pair of barbed wire and thumbtack covered brass knuckles; the time on the clock reading eleven seconds. JT steps up behind Lucious who is pointing back towards where JT was laying at and mocking the fan for believing in someone like Whiplash.

Mikey Massacre: Lucious thinks he’s got this match already won.

Linzi Martin: This is fixing to hurt.

Timer reads seeven seconds and Lucious turns around to check on Whiplash. Right fist right to his face smashes his nose, a second busts his lips, and a third haymaker turning it into a dragging punch rips flesh on Starr’s face and blood begins to pour from the quick sharp and sudden thrusts from the specialized brass knuckles, the timer? Well it was at two seconds left when the first drop of blood came from Starr’s body. JT presses the advantage, along with the magnificant brutal weapon, into Starr’s face over and over eventually pushing Starr up against the post. JT with a big haymaker, but Starr ducks under driving his shoulder into JT’s midsection, sending them both crashing into the railing hard enough to move it backwards. JT pounds with both hands as Starr rains down rights and lefts as well. JT rolls Starr over, mounting him with punch after punch, but Starr rolls him back over nailing him with much of the same.

Mikey Massacre: Its like a schoolyard brawl!

Linzi Martin: I haven’t seen one… well since high school.

Starr pulls JT up, shoving him towards the ring, but JT manages to counter with an elbow into Starr’s ribs and nail him with a DDT. JT leans up against the railing, blood pouring, I mean literally pouring from his busted stitches, nose, and mouth to drip onto his chest. JT digs under the ring, coming out with a table, but just as he is about to set it up, Starr comes with a chair to the back of his skull, driving him face first into the table. Starr pulls him back up, piledriver onto the chair and rolls JT into the ring. Starr slides the chair, table, and a few other things into the ring(tacks, light tubes, barbed wire, staple gun, a few glass bottles) Starr rolls in, setting up the table, placing several light tubes onto the wood before dumping the tacks all over the ring. Starr smashes a light tube over JT’s skull, bringing blood from the back of his skull before dragging the ends of the tube down his back and causing even more wounds on his already scarred body.

Mikey Massacre: What a saddistic bastard! I love it!

Linzi Martin: So, you ARE into bondage and submission!

Mikey Massacre: What? Where did you… never mind I don’t want to know.

Linzi Martin: Oh that’s easy, its the Sexual Pleasuring Positions magazine issue for August 2011. A very invigorating read, if you ask me.

Mikey Massacre: Trouble is that I didn’t.

Starr has JT up for a body slam onto the thumbtacks, but JT counters somehow with a DDT that sends Starr’s face into the tacks! JT with a curb stomp onto the back of Starr’s head before pulling him up and whipping him into the corner. Starr has tacks all in his face, but begins to fire back with punches and kicks that back JT up. Starr backs off, then with a running leap mounts JT with a Lou Thesz press right on the tacks, driving them deeply into JT’s back. Starr rolls him around in the tacks, only a few remain; they are both in Starr’s face and embedded in JT’s back. However, both men continue fighting as its Starr’s turn to get a double fisted nut shot, but this one is a bit more damaging as JT has the staple gun. Starr starts shaking his head from side to side.

Linzi Martin: Would that hurt.

Mikey Massacre: It hurts me and I’m not in the match!

Starr howls out in pain as JT releases two staples into his groin before going for a Rydeen bomb onto the light tube covered table!

Mikey Massacre: My gawd! Did you see that Rydeen bomb from Whiplash!

Linzi Martin: Not really, I was fantasizing about all the damage.

Starr lays in the broken remnants of table and glass as JT leaps from the top turnbuckle with the Rebel Yell!

He connects and stays for the pin.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match as result of a pinfall… JT Whiplash!

J.T. Whiplash has his hand raised by the ref, the crowd cheering him on as he continues his rise back to prominence in REBEL Pro!

*****Real Talk*****

We fade backstage now. There’s a round table that is set up with a REBEL Pro banner hanging over the wall. At one side sits Marvin Humperdink, and at the other sits Simon Kalis. That same briefcase from earlier close to Simon.

Marvin Humperdink: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. I’m sitting here with the acting President and minority owner of REBEL Pro, Aaron Simon Kalis. Mr. Kalis…

Kalis puts his hand up, sips his beer and shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: No, you don’t need to be formal. Call me Ishmael.

Humperdink cocks an eyebrow.

Marvin Humperdink: What…?

Simon Kalis: I’m kidding. Don’t be so nervous.

Kalis burps after another chug of his beer.

Marvin Humperdink: Right, well. You arranged this sit down interview with me to go over the course of events that have taken place since your surprise purchase of 49% of REBEL Pro. But, first off… How is Larry Gordon? Are you in contact with him?

Kalis lights a cigarette and nods.

Simon Kalis: He’s doing as well as can be expected. He’s obviously still recovering from his health concerns, but he’s in good spirits and one of the greatest men I’ve ever had the chance to get to know.

Marvin Humperdink: Well, I’m sure he’s watched with some interest on how you’ve handled REBEL Pro since stepping in. Some people said REBEL Pro could never reach the national stage, yet the National Tour across the United States thus far has been a complete success. REBEL Pro is quickly gaining traction on the PWA in terms of revenue and ratings. What do you think has played the biggest role in REBEL Pros success during this national transition?

Kalis takes a moment to sip his beer and take a draw from his cigarette.

Simon Kalis: The fan support from the loyal REBEL Pro fans has been tremendous, and there has always been an interest worldwide for REBEL Pro through the availability of our programming on the internet. But the biggest factor is the wrestlers here themselves. I certainly have some… Issues, with some of them, but by and large they’re the reason we’ve been so successful. Look at a guy like Justin Case, his comeback was a huge thing especially with the loss of guys Johnny Maverick and Jacob Venar. You’ve got new blood like Violet Harper and Jaice Wilds who bring a whole new realm of excitement.

He flicks some ash.

Simon Kalis: Legion. What a beast, what a dominant figure he is and will be. Then you’ve got REBEL classics like Bubba J and Vincent Black.

He smirks.

Simon Kalis: Through and through, the REBEL Pro roster is jam packed with fucking superstars. We’ve got huge BWF Legend Gabe Shelley, former eWo star Alexia Fender. Guys like Chad Kurtis, people like Taboo… I could really name the whole roster here Marv. They’re all the reason REBEL Pro is rocking. To top it all off? Lisa Seldon, man. Do I need to say anything more than that? REBEL Pro’s longest reigning World Champion. The woman who brought the AoWF World Championship to REBEL Pro.

Marvin Humperdink: Yes. This is the Era of Seldon in REBEL Pro.

Simon Kalis: Yeah. I mean people disparage our roster, they disparage our product and our fans and why? Because they see it. Like deer in the fucking headlights. REBEL Pro is on the rise, Marv. We are on the cusp of something so great, so powerful. Everyone is electrified, and I think Bobby Lee literally so. You know what I say? Fuck you Phoenix. Fuck your PWA. Fuck Vic Wagner, and fuck Marvin Wood. Fuck everyone who ain’t down with REBEL Pro.

The crowd in the arena has a thunderous applause at this.

Simon Kalis: REBEL Pro has been underrated and shit on for too long. But we’ve taken it with stride, taken it on the chin. I don’t know if you’ve noticed? There are some TOUGH motherfuckers who fight here. As you saw last week? Our fans are tough, too. I’m sick of these phony fucks talking about things they fail to comprehend. We aren’t rednecks, we aren’t thugs, we aren’t dumb. We’re the modern Gladiators, and the REBEL Pro ring is our pit. It’s bloody. It’s gory. It’s awesome, and people love it.

Marvin Humperdink: Speaking of last week… The riot in Chattanooga. Can you tell me what’s going on concerning the lawsuit?

Kalis sips his beer, shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: I can’t speak on current or pending lawsuits, sorry.

Marvin sifts through his stack of papers.

Marvin Humperdink: Emily Corlen.

Kalis smokes his cigarette, no reaction.

Marvin Humperdink: What happened?

Kalis shrugs.

Simon Kalis: She chose to turn her back on REBEL Pro. She stayed here to win a title off of Lisa Seldons back, because as you know she was set to leave right before the tag team title tournament began. Now, the moment she loses that she walks off.

Marvin Humperdink: That’s it? That simple?

Simon Kalis: Well. I have to be careful how I speak. I am speaking to you as the President of REBEL Pro, but at the same time? Well. I mean do you want me to say something controversial? I’m sure it’s expected, and I’ve remained fairly quiet. She needs to get a grip on reality. She has black balled to infamy within the AoWF through her actions, and that’s fine. I offered her and Lisa rematches, either together or separately but that wasn’t enough to appease someone who hungers for titles like they do Big Macs.

Marvin Humperdink: So, I guess that offer is off the table?

Simon Kalis: No, but there is a time limit. It’s almost over. I don’t give a fuck. REBEL Pro and Victory Wrestling are the future of the AoWF. She wants to go to BWF because she can be somebody there, that’s fine. No one will ever respect her until she dips her toes out of the pond of fish and into the ocean of sharks.

Kalis crushes his empty beer can, snaps his finger and someone off camera chucks him another cold one.

Marvin Humperdink: Well, moving on. There’s a lot of buzz going on about Prove Your Worth. Can you confirm any of the rumours going around?

Simon Kalis: Like what?

Marvin Humperdink: Vic Wagner versus Bubba J?

Simon Kalis: Yeah. It’s going down, and is happening at Prove Your Worth.

The crowd in the arena can be heard cheering for this, why? Who knows. Not like they’re gonna be there in person anyways.

Marvin Humperdink: Violet Harper was set to face Emily Corlen at Prove Your Worth.

Simon Kalis: Yeah, no. That’s obviously not happening. Which worked out well in the end, because Violet Harper will be facing J.T. Whiplash for the Aggression Championship at Prove Your Worth.

Crowd goes nuts again.

Marvin Humperdink: Whoa! Really? Why?

Simon Kalis: Yes, really. Because Whiplash impresses me. He’s an old timer, I’m an old timer. More importantly he beat Gabe Shelley which is a big thing to do. He’s come back into REBEL Pro with a fire and drive that is inspirational. I reward that.

Marvin Humperdink: Well, damn. Another rumour circulating the internet is that Matt Stone will be facing former REBEL Pro World Champion Johnny Maverick.

Simon Kalis: Yep. Signed the match contract already. It’s happening. You better believe it.

Marvin Humperdink: Jesus. What about Lisa Seldon? Who is she going to be defending the title against?

Kalis puts his cigarette out and smiles.

Simon Kalis: Vincent Black.

The crowd gives their biggest ovation of the interview.

Simon Kalis: I told him if he failed against The Phoenix, I’d kill him. What better way than feeding him to Lisa Seldon? If he wins, he dethrones arguably the greatest World Champion in REBEL Pro history. If he doesn’t? He dies.

Kalis shrugs.

Simon Kalis: Win-win.

Marvin Humperdink: This is blockbuster news. Sadly our time is up, but I hope we can do this again sometime, sir.

Simon Kalis: Sure thing.

Marvin Humperdink: One more thing… Patient 4479?

Simon Kalis: Hahahaha… No comment.

Marvin Humperdink: Wait! Actually… What’s the deal with the briefcase?

Simon Kalis: I suppose you’ll have to check out Prove Your Worth for that. I’m just carrying it around being all mysterious and shit. Is it working?

Kalis shakes Marvin Humperdinks hand and walks out of the room, briefcase in one hand. Marvin looks at his hands for a moment, at his wrist and seems bewildered.

Marvin Humperdink: Wait. Did he just steal my watch?

Outside the door in the hallway…

Simon Kalis: Want a new watch?

Janitor: Sure!

Kalis throws him the watch and whistles as we fade to ringside.

*****A True Test*****

Bubba J walks down the hall, coming to the door marked “Jeremy Gold”, he tests the knob, which is unlocked, and goes in. Looking around he doesn’t see that damn boxing kangaroo and quickly heads over to Jeremy’s desk before riffling through his file cabinets. He smiles as he comes out with a very full bag of white powder and chuckles.

Bubba J: Now, lets see if JT Whiplash is serious about staying in Rebel Pro, see if that hot piece of ass Bailey Rose can keep him from sniffing all of this stuff.”

Bubba J sticks his head out of the door, while placing the bag into his brown paper bag, and seeing no one walks out. We follow him as he turns right down a hall and comes up on a door that reads “JT Whiplash” in bold black letters. J knocks on the door and after hearing no one inside, opens up and heads in. J looks around, seeing no one he places the brown paper bag on the table and writes “To: JT Whiplash” before hurriedly walking back out of the dressing room. Shutting the door, he whistles as he heads somewhere else in the building, having given JT a true test to see if he is willing to stay.

*****Shelley‘s Never Back Down*****

The Rebel cameras pan across the hallway, and into Gabe Shelley’s locker room. Shelley’s twin nieces are in the locker room with him. and they’re all screaming.

Noelle Shelley: NO! We are NOT letting you go out there alone!

Aria Shelley: We’re going with you!

He grabs his vest out of his locker as he shakes his head.

Gabe Shelley: You girls should just really stay out here. There’s no reason I can’t be out there by myself.

Noelle Shelley: Are you serious? Its a first blood match! We’re going! Aria grab your title!

Aria grabs Noelle’s and her own BWF tag titles off the chair and hands Noelle hers. Noelle and Aria start to follow their Uncle out of the locker room.

Gabe Shelley: Noelle, Aria, I’m serious. This is not my first match like this, far from it. I’ve been in worse matches and I’ve been in this exact situation a dozen times. There is nothing to worry about, I’ll be fine.

He holds up his hand and points to the bench.

Gabe Shelley: Just stay here, okay?

Noelle and Aria look at each other and Noelle raises an eyebrow.

Noelle Shelley: And if we don’t?

Gabe Shelley: You’re grounded? No desert after dinner? You have to eat all of your veggies? No television for a week?

He starts to laugh and just shakes his head.

Gabe Shelley: I mean it girls, I’ll be fine.

Noelle Shelley: No you won’t.

Gabe looks at Noelle and Aria takes a deep breath

Aria Shelley: What she means is… We know you can’t focus out there….

Gabe Shelley: I can… Don’t doubt what I can do or what I can focus on.

He tries to play it off as he slams his locker door and starts to put on his vest.

Aria Shelley: Uncle Gabe… Don’t do this match… We know you’re too worried about Alexia…

The girls look at their Uncle.

Gabe Shelley: I have to, Aria. Shelley’s just don’t drop out of matches minutes away from them happening. I’m going out there and compete just like I always would. I have to.

He starts to head towards the locker room door and turns back to them.

Gabe Shelley: If I don’t, then it’ll be all I can think about and I’ll lose it. I have to do this.

The girls look at each other again as Gabe walks out of the locker room.

*****Violet Harper versus Gabe Shelley*****

DING DING!

Mikey Massacre: There’s the bell, and we’re underway in this one…

Linzi Martin: I wonder what sort of hot action Violet can come up with this week?

As both combatants circle each other, the finally lock up for a test of strength with Gabe gaining the early advantage as Violet arches her back on the canvas due to the leverage. Violet then regains her composure and takes Shelley down with an arm-drag of sorts, followed by another Ricky Steamboat-style armdrag takedown, followed up with a dropkick that sends Shelley rolling out of the ring in frustration.

Mikey Massacre: What a quick pace set so far by Violet Harper!

Linzi Martin: I bet she’s not that quick in the sack…

Mikey Massacre: Fine, rub it in…

As Shelley pounds the mat in frustration, he grabs a ring-side chair and charges toward the ring, but gets met with a baseball slide drop-kick to the face. Violet then pushes Gabe Shelley against the guard rail and lets loose with a few knife-edged chops, followed by the obligatory “WOOOOOO!!!” from the fans. She then grabs a fan’s beer at ring-side, takes a swig of it, and spits it in Gabe’s face, blinding him temporarily.

Linzi Martin: Stick it to him, Violet!

Mikey Massacre: What a perfectly good waste of alcohol!

As Violet then charges toward Gabe as he moves toward the ring steps, he does a drop-toe hold to her onto the ring steps, knocking her loopy for a little bit. Gabe then tears away some of the protective matting at ring-side and proceeds to do his trademark Jersey Cutter (Twist of Fate) onto the concrete.

Linzi Martin: Oh no! Gabe just cracked her skull! Come on Violet, baby, GET UP!

Mikey Massacre: You know, Linzi, I’m young, I’m hung, and I’m skilled with my-

Linzi Martin: Stuff it, Mikey!

Gabe then drags Violet Harper inside the ring and proceeds to stomp on her a couple of times as he then picks her up for a Cannon Ball (Reverse Lung Blower) and drops her like a sack of potatoes. The impact of the move on Gabe’s bad knee causes him to momentarily clutch at his knee and wince as he finally goes for the cover.

Mikey Massacre: It looks like Gabe Shelley has messed up his knee again, but he’s still going for the cover…

One…

Two…

Linzi Martin: YES! Violet kicks out!

Gabe pounds his fists on the canvas as he limps out of the ring and goes for a black bag as he sprinkles it over the canvas, revealing the contents to be shards of broken glass as he makes an Irish Whip attempt onto Violet, but she reverses it and comes up with a Shining Wizard in the corner, knocking Gabe loopy in the process. As he sits out cold in the bottom of the corner, Violet puts a chair in front of Gabe’s face as she runs off the ropes and hits a brutal chair-assisted Face Wash kick as Violet goes back on the offensive attack.

Mikey Massacre: Ouch town, population: You, Gabe Shelley!

Linzi Martin: Oh my GOD, that’s hot!

Violet Harper then goes to the outside and reaches under the ring looking for something as she finally pulls out a 15-foot high steel ladder and positions herself just over the shards of broken glass from earlier as she starts to climb the ladder while Gabe is starting to come to.

Mikey Massacre: What in the HELL is she doing?

Linzi Martin: Making me go into spontaneous orgasms, that’s what she’s doing!

Mikey Massacre: … oh boy…

Violet gets to the top of the ladder, balances herself, and leaps off with her Purple Haze (Shooting Star Press into a DDT) onto the shards of broken glass, driving Gabe Shelley head-first, causing him to bleed on his head profusely as the fans chant “RE-BEL PRO! RE-BEL PRO! RE-BEL PRO!”.

Linzi Martin: OH MY GOD, THAT WAS AWESOME!

Referee Jimmy Johnson starts counting down the minute for Gabe Shelley to make Violet Harper bleed, but shortly after he starts counting, he stops when he notices a bleeding gash on Violet Harper’s right arm. He looks at it and tells Violet the match is now going to pinfall or submission!

Mikey Massacre: Wow, what a tough break for Violet Harper as Gabe Shelley was NOT going to get up after that…

Linzi Martin: You’ve GOT to be kidding me…

Violet pounds the canvas in disbelief as she argues with referee Jimmy Johnson, but during the argument, Shelley starts to stir. As Violet sees Gabe start to get up, he blocks a right hand punch by her and slams his good knee into her gut. Gabe goes for a clothesline, but when he turns around, Violet drills him with a Spinning Backfist. They both stop as someone appears to be coming down to the ring.

Mikey Massacre: Who the hell is that?

Linzi Martin: And she’s wearing one of Gabe’s hoodies!

We can clearly make out the female figure, but the hood over her head is too low for the camera to catch a glimpse of who she is. Violet Harper backs off, watching carefully incase of a double team, but Gabe seems as out of the know as her. The woman hops up onto the ring apron and Gabe approaches her.

Linzi Martin: Seems to me he’s all, “oh why are you here?! You should leave!” but I’m not a good lip reader.

Mikey Massacre: Yeah but I don’t think Violet cares, watch out Gabe!

The mysteriously hooded woman jumps down and as Gabe turns around he’s met with a sudden kick right to his face, sending Gabe down out cold to the canvas as Violet scampers up the top rope and hits her Corkscrew 630 Senton Bomb as Violet quickly hooks the leg and goes for the pin.

Mikey Massacre: Here’s the cover!

One!

Two!

Three!

Linzi Martin: WAY TO GO, BABY!

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match… VIOLEEEEEEEEEEET HARRRRRRRPERRRRRRR!!!

Mikey Massacre: Solid effort by Gabe Shelley, but right now, Violet Harper is damned near unstoppable… whoever faces her at “Prove Your Worth” has got a real challenge on their plate!

Linzi Martin: I really hope I get to party in her pants…

Mikey Massacre: I would too-

Linzi slaps Mikey upside the head as we practically hear Mikey whimpering.

Linzi Martin: Still whoever it was who interfered? They’re gonna get it.

*****THE AFTERMATH*****

As the bell rings and Gabe Shelley lays on the mat bleeding, the curtains open and the Shelley Twins run down the ramp and slide into the ring. They crawl over to their Uncle and start to help him to his feet with the lights in the arena go out and a familiar voice is heard..

Alexia Fender: Gabe… Gabe….? GABE!

Gabe Shelley wipes the blood from his forehead and he turns his attention to the video feed playing on the screen. He shouts something towards the entrance way as he leans on the ropes to help hold him up. The twins stand beside their Uncle and also turn their attention to the video feed, the screen finally comes to life, showing Alexia Fender tied to a chair, looking around, crying, shes looking around the room. Noelle’s jaw drops, and Aria screams.

Aria Shelley: ALEXIA!

Alexia keeps looking around, a mans laugh is heard, and someone walks into the frame, behind Alexia. Standing behind her is Gabe’s older brother, JC. He smiles into the camera and runs his fingers through Alexia’s hair. He sighs deeply and smacks his lips.

JC Shelley: Gabriel, I know you knew I had her. I also know you have no idea where to find me. Did you know how easy it was to take her right off the street? You let her go around a town she’d never been in all by herself. You didn’t keep your eye on the prize. Didn’t dad always tell you to do that? You never did listen did you? Now I promise you that you will never, ever find her. Kiss your happy little family goodbye, Gabriel.

Gabe’s face is bright red in anger as he squeezes the ropes and breathes heavily. Noelle grabs a mic and raises it to her lips. Noelle looks over at her Uncle and her twin sister, who is crying. She takes a deep breath hoping they can hear her.

Noelle Shelley: ALEXIA!

Alexia’s eyebrows raise from under her blindfold and she looks around.

Alexia Fender: Noelle?

Noelle climbs up on the bottom rope, screaming into the mic.

Noelle Shelley: DAD! LET HER GO! NOW!

JC Shelley: No.

He chuckles as Alexia’s sobs are still heard.

JC Shelley: Gabriel, you’ve always had everything you’ve ever wanted. I learned something over the years that I should have seen a long time ago. If I want to hurt you I don’t go after you personally. I go after the people you love. That’s right, Alexia. Good ol’ Gabriel still loves you, didn’t you know? Now he’s never going to get you back.

He pulls the back of her head by her hair and brings the camera down to it, placing his cheek against hers.

JC Shelley: Now you’ll live in regret for the rest of your life.

Alexia Fender: They’re gonna find you… All three of them, your daughters included!

Alexia cringes as JC pulls on her hair again.

Noelle Shelley: DAD STOP IT!

JC Shelley: No, Noelle. You turned your back on your real family so you’re just as much to blame. You did exactly what your uncle did so many years ago when he walked out the door and left his family behind. This is what happens, this is what he deserves.

All this time Gabe’s eyes are focused on the screen but he’s unable to speak.

JC Shelley: Say goodbye, Alexia.

Alexia Fender: When they find you… They’re gonna kill you!

Alexia turns her head and spits in JC’s f ace.JC smiles and then backhands her and puts a hankerchief in her mouth to stop her from talking. He wipes the spit off and shakes his head.

JC Shelley: Women, can’t live with ‘em. Eh, Gabriel? Any last words? Because I promise you this is the last time you’ll get to see her.

Gabe keeps staring at the screen and slowly raises a microphone up to his mouth.

Gabe Shelley: I will find her, I will find you, I will beat you within an inch of your life. That much is sure but the one thing you need to decide is what’s going to happen to you this time once your ass is in jail. You might not make it out, I’ll see to it. Alexia, I will find you.

Alexia nods so Gabe knows she can hear him, ut screams through the hankerchief as JC backhands her across the face again, tears running down Alexia’s face.

JC Shelley: Just try.

Gabe goes to speak again as the feed is cut off and he throws to microphone and falls to his knees in the ring.

*****Church of Hardcore*****

We cut to backstage and as the camera rounds the corner we see one half of the REBEL World Tag Team Champions, Bubba J getting swarmed by several members of Legions congregations. Bubba drops one with a heavy right hand and sends another slamming into the wall headfirst.

Bubba J: This all you got!? I ain’t even breakin’ a sweat!

Just then a trio of followers tackle Bubba and try to drag him to the ground. Like a quarterbacker, he starts to shrug off the men one by one. Bodies are starting to pile up everywhere.

Bubba J: Can we hurry this up? I got shit to do!

Rushing into frame we see the demented Piggy charge at Bubba J. He slams a golf club into the ribs of Bubba! We hear a muffled ‘Ugh’ from the double tough Tag Champ.

Bubba J: Freak bitch….

Another shot to the ribs and Bubba slumps against the wall. Piggy squeals in delight and charges in, the golf club held high overhead. Bubba swings up his leg and connects between the legs of Piggy who gives us another, yet higher pitched squeal.

Bubba J: Heheh, didn’t know if you even had anything down there for me to hurt.

Piggy doubles over and staggers away but before Bubba can move the massive Mammon slams into him sandwiching him against the wall. We can hear as the air is knocked out of Bubbas lungs and the monster Mammon doesn’t help matters as he lands a trio of heavy left hands into the ribs of Bubba.

Bubba J: Fuck…Fuck…You….

Another heavy left hand to the gut and Bubba slides down to the floor where he’s grabbed by Mammon and held from behind. Piggy crawls over to Bubba and gets into his face.

Piggy: (squeal) You aren’t tough! (a snort) Legion wants you fatty….

Bubba J: I…I ain’t….Hard ta find….Fucker.

Piggy slaps Bubba and Mammon shoves him to the floor. Before Bubba can get back to his feet the congregation seem to vanish into the dark hallways.

Bubba J: Oh it’s fuckin’ on now boys…..You done fucked up.

Bubba breathes heavily as he looks up and we fade to ringside…

*****Justin Case, Cuz Ya Never Know!*****

We fade to just outside The Millennium Game’s locker room, where the door swings open and Simon Kalis can be seen exiting. Inside the locker room we see Case nodding and smiling in Hugh Aredone’s direction.

Mikey Massacre: I smell a plot to take out Marvin Wood! And I love it!!!

Linzi Martin: REBEL Pro! FUCK YEAH!

Case walks out of the locker room followed by Hugh Aredone and they head towards the entrance as we fade to ringside…

*****AoWF TV Title Tournament- Round 2*****
*****Justin Case(REBEL) versus Marvin Wood(Victory!)*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled as a FIRST BLOOD SPECIAL and is the semi-finals of the AoWF Television Championship tournament! Introducing first, from Victory Wrestling! He hails from Pontefract, England!

The first few chords of Edward Elgar’s fourth Pomp & Circumstance March are played from the PA system into the arena. After a few seconds, “The Purist” Marvin Wood appears from behind the curtain with a dour expression on his face. He walks to the middle of the stage area and stands there for a few seconds, to survey the audience. He then begins walking down the entrance-way. Many of the members of the audience boo, some catcall and a few cheer. He looks at no-one as he approaches the ring, but stretches his fingers a bit. He stretches three fingers on each hand, first, and then four fingers on each hand.

Jenny Jersey: He is the Victory Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion… MARVIN WOOD!!!!

Marvin walks towards the ring steps, and walks up them and towards the middle of the apron, sliding his hand over the top rope as he does so. He pauses there for a few seconds, before entering the ring, right leg first and then left leg. He enters the ring with plenty of pomp and circumstance, as if he were a foot taller than he is. He then walks over to the opposite turnbuckle and waits. The REBEL Pro crowd BOOS him loudly, but Wood keeps his calm and focus.

Mikey Massacre: Security is tight for this match, we don’t want a repeat of last week. I still say Vincent Black won.

Linzi Martin: History will say differently, sadly.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent… Representing REBEL Pro WRESTLING!!!!!!

The crowd ALL rise to their feet and begin a thunderous applause.

Jenny Jersey: He hails from Edmonton, Alberta Canada…

” Victory ” by P Diddy and company hits the P.A. Out comes ” The Millennium Game ” Justin Case! He stands at the entrance way, with his manager behind him, as pyro shoots on either side while he raises his oh so talented arms in the very talented air! Case struts down the ramp as Hugh Aredone limpingly lingers behind. He struts to the squared circle with a cockily arrogance that only he can endeavor.

Jenny Jersey: He is The Millennium Game…. JUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIIIN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE!!!!!!!

Once from inside the ring, he steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd on hand. Whether they like him or not, it does not matter. His manager hits his cane on the apron showing his approval. Jumping off the ropes he prepares for the match pulling on the upper rope as his music ends. He goes toe to toe with Wood, looking down at Wood and smirking.

Mikey Massacre: These guys exchanged quite a few words over the week, but we’re past talking.

Linzi Martin: Now it’s all about the fight, and the winner is one step closer to AoWF Championship Gold!

DING DING DING

They immediately begin a power grapple for dominance, both men struggling to push down and enforce their will and power over the other. Case holds himself over Wood, but then Wood pushes back and holds himself over Case. The crowd sits on the edge of their seats as they watch, but both men break off and push each other away. They begin circling the ring following the simple strength test, which left no clear winner.

Mikey Massacre: I expect we’ll be seeing some of Case’s more technical abilities tonight as he goes up against the Victory Champ.

Linzi Martin: You’re probably right.

Wood moves in now and hits a hip toss on Case that takes him down to the canvas, but Case rolls with it. Case flips himself back to his feet and hits a spinning heel kick that sends spit out of Marvin Woods mouth. Wood rubs his mouth and then looks back at Case, nodding with calculating eyes. Wood moves in and Case grabs hold of him from behind and hits a Full Nelson suplex to the canvas, the biased REBEL Pro crowd cheering this! Wood rolls away and grabs the ropes, pulling himself to his feet. He steps back but rushes forward, seemingly going for a clothesline but side stepping to avoid contact with Case. Wood capitalizes on the element of surprise, hitting a spinning neck breaker onto Justin Case. They both go down but Case quickly reverses the situation by locking in an ankle lock on Marvin Wood. He elevates it for more pressure, but both men realize that at this point no victory shall be had like this but Wood can feel the strain as he grimaces. Wood powers out, rolling onto his back and then lunging forward from the canvas. He wraps his left arm around Justin Case‘s head, falls back and seems to DDT him into the canvas. Then Wood wraps his legs around Case‘s waist and applies a submission hold, Case winces in pain.

Linzi Martin: Damn that Wood is one peak physical machine.

Mikey Massacre: He may have Case locked in, but he won’t win like this.

Case punches Wood in the ribs blindly and gets out, rolling away. Both men get to their feet and grapple again. Case hits a vertical suplex but Wood quickly gets back to his feet and unleashes a vicious clothesline on Case! The Millennium Game bounces off the canvas and right back to his feet, and Wood grabs onto Justin Case and goes for a power slam! Case hits the canvas but bounces right back up to his feet and Wood seems ready to pounce again, but Case dodges a grapple, kicks Stone in the gut and hooks both his arms up for a double underhook DDT! Case follow it up as he bounces off the ropes and lands a leg drop on the back of The Purists head. Case has had enough as he hops over the top rope, to the apron and now down to outside the ring.

Mikey Massacre: Oh boy. I think Case is about to go REBEL Pro on Wood now.

Linzi Martin: Awwwww shit SON!

Hugh Aredone reaches into his suit and pulls out a towel… A towel??? It’s wrapped around something. Case unfurls the towel, and it’s a crowbar! Tightly wrapped with BARBED WIRE!!!! The crowd goes nuts!

Mikey Massacre: Oh that sly son of a bitch. That’s Simon Kalis’ weapon! He must’ve given it for Case to use!!

Linzi Martin: YEAH! GO REBEL PRO!

Wood gets to his feet in the ring as Case slides in behind him and out of sight. Wood turns around… BANG! Case with a swing of the barbed wire crowbar, it meets Marvin Wood’s face! Pieces of flesh rip off with it, Wood is BLEEDING! MARVIN WOOD IS BLEEDING!!! THE COUNTER BEGINS!

Mikey Massacre: My GOD the crowd is going NUTS!!!! Justin Case is less than one minute away from one of the biggest wins in his career! Wood is bleeding!

Linzi Martin: NOW RUN JUSTIN! RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK!

Wood staggers, he’s feeling the pain now.

Fans: WELCOME TO REBEL PRO! WELCOME TO REBEL PRO!

Wood looks around, dazed and a bit angered. Case with another swing! Wood falls to his knees, holding his face as he bleeds! The counter is at 30 seconds left!

Mikey Massacre: DO IT JUSTIN! REMIND THE WORLD WHY YOU’RE A BONAFIDE LEGEND!

Linzi Martin: Oh, I’m so excited. I need an umbrella!

Case goes for another swing, but Wood blocks it. Hello, did you forget he’s the super duper awesome Victory Champion? He isn’t going down without a fight. Counter is at 20 seconds!

Mikey Massacre: Why would you need an umbrella? We’re in a dry arena.

Wood fights to his feet, cracking Justin Case repeatedly in the face with well placed lefts and rights! He has no choice! Case stumbles back, couner is at 15 seconds!

Linzi Martin: The arena might not be wet, but I am!

Mikey Massacre: Oh… Oh… OHHHHHHH! Oh my.

Wood tries to grapple! Case blocks it!

10!

Case with a head butt, Wood stumbles back.

9!

Wood goes for a left, Case blocks!

8!

Wood kicks Case in the gut! Case keels forward!

7!

Marvin Wood with a European uppercut! Case head flies back up!

6!

Case goes for a super kick!!!! Wood catches his leg!

5!!!

Wood spins Justin Case around!

4!!

Wood grabs onto Case, wrapping his head into his left arm!

3!!!!

WOOD WITH AN IMPLANT DDT!!!

2!!!

CASE’S FACE LANDED ON THE BARBED WIRE CROWBAR!!! OH MY FUCK!

1!!!!

CASE IS BLEEDING!!! JUSTIN CASE IS BLEEDING!!! THE MATCH GOES ON TO PINFALL OR SUBMISSION!

The crowd is having a massive collective heart attack, everyone is going nuts. The crowd is getting rowdy again as last week, but in a good way. Wood looks up at the timer, stopped dead at 1 second. He sighs in relief.

Linzi Martin: OH MAN I LOVE THIS PLACE!!! I’m on the edge of my seat!!!!

Mikey Massacre: GET UP JUSTIN! FINISH HIM!!!!

Case looks groggy as hell, and Wood covers him.

1!

2!!

THREEEEE- NO!!! JUSTIN CASE KICKS OUT! REBEL Pro is still in it!!!!

Wood gets to his feet, but so does Case. Both men are groggy but Case grapples Wood! He twists him around and whips him into the ropes. SPINEBUSTER!!! Case quickly rolls Wood up!

1!

2!!!

3!!!!!!!!!!

JUSTIN CASE WINS..

NO! NO!! NO!!! WOOD HAD HIS SHOULDER UP JUSSSSST BEFORE THE 3!

Mikey Massacre: We need brown paper bags, everyone is hyper ventilating.

Linzi Martin: *Breathing heavily*

Case slams his fist on the canvas but he doesn’t have time to be angry as Wood grabs him by the legs, INDIAN DEATH LOCK! Oh my fuck that’s gotta hurt, Wood is a masterful wrestler! Case is screaming, writhing in pain!!! Case looks ready to tap out! He raises his arm, his fist clenched as he sweats, bleeds and breathes REBEL fucking Pro. The crowd is on their feet, cheering him on not to give out. Wood is so clinical in his application of the death lock, there seems like no hope for Case! But Case finds some inner strength! He begins wildly throwing himself forward to strike at Wood and get Wood to let go of the hold. Finally, Wood does!

Mikey Massacre: We’re back in it! Never thought I’d be cheering Justin Case, but hell. Everyone in REBEL Pro is right now!

Linzi Martin: If that’s what you call it.

Linzi lifts her hand back up and licks her fingers clean, smiling. Mikey’s eyes go O_O.

Case is up. Wood is up. Case stumbles forward. He goes for Just 2 Talented! Wood counters, pushes Case off of him. IMPERFECT TENSE!!! WOOD WITH IMPERFECT TENSE!!! Wood covers!!!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Wood is on his knees, wiping the blood off his face.

Jenny Jersey: The winner and moving on to the finals of the AoWF TV Title tournament… Victory Wrestlings MARVIN WOOD!!!!

The crowd is still cheering, offering both men a standing ovation as Wood is handed his Victory Wrestling World Heavyweight title. Wood raises his arms high in the air, Case seems disappointed as he wipes the blood from his face and we fade to one last shot of Wood victorious.

*****The Joke‘s On You!*****

The REBELTron has a static picture now, nothing is clear. All we see is…

STATIC

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Style Clash defeats Jeremy Gold & his obese parody tag partner and they break the ring.
J.T. Whiplash defeats Lucious Starr and continues his rise!
Violet Harper defeats Gabe Shelley and then we see the emergence of a blood feud! YEAH!
Marvin Wood defeats Justin Case and moves on sadly, but they’re both awesome and it was fun.

*****Cigarettes and Whiskey*****

We fade backstage, to the office of REBEL Pro’s intrepid General Manager: Jeremy Gold. He’s hiding behind his desk, and we can see the cigarette smoke billowing up as he drinks straight from a bottle of Jack Daniels. He’s all shifty eyed and such.

Jeremy Gold: Go away.

Marvin Humperdink: We’re here for an interview, sir.

Jeremy Gold: Yeah but Simon’s not here. He said he’s drinking with an asshole or something.

Humperdink scratches his head.

Marvin Humperdink: Yeah, well that’s why we’re here to see what you plan to do since you’re back in charge for the week.

We can hear the toilet flush from the private bathroom.

Marvin Humperdink: You have a guest?

The bathroom door opens, and Marvin Humperdinks jaw drops.

Jeremy Gold: Yeah! That’s right! Meet my newest, greatest pal EVER!

The camera shows what appears to be a Kangaroo in red, white and blue trunks drinking Jack Daniels out of his own bottle. He drops the bottle and it shatters on the floor.

Jeremy Gold: RUPERT! GET THEM!

The kangaroo looks over at Marvin and the camera crew, and then hisses.

Rupert: *Whatever sounds kangaroo makes, he’s making them*

Marvin Humperdink: Oh my god… RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Marvin shoves the sound guy to the ground as he makes a beeline out of the office. Gold jumps onto his desk, and he’s drag queen’d out in a pink skirt with a floral silk shirt. He thrashes his head like he’s listening to death metal as Rupert the kangaroo boxes the shit out of the camera man and kicks the sound guy in the ass as he tries to get up. We cut back to ringside.

Mikey Massacre: So the guy we have in charge this week is a drunk, eccentric drag queen bisexual with a kangaroo bodyguard.

Linzi Martin: It’s just another day in REBEL Pro!

Mikey Massacre: Somewhere in North Carolina right now, Larry Gordon is face palming. Hard.

Over the REBELTron, we see through a shattered camera lens Rupert the Kangaroo hugging Jeremy Gold and them both smoking cigarettes as we fade…

*****Everything Will Be Alright!*****

The Shelley Twins are seen on Rebel’s cameras sitting in their Uncle Gabe and Alexia’s locker room, the door opens and Gabe walks in and they look up at him

Noelle Shelley: Hey Uncle Gabe.

Aria Shelley: Where’s Lex?

Gabe turns away from his locker and shuts his as he shrugs his shoulders.

Gabe Shelley: No idea. I haven’t seen her since I left this morning for my jog. When I came back she had already left. Maybe she’s still mad that I got the match switched and she’s around here somewhere. I’m sure it’s nothing.

He sits on the bench in the room and starts to lace up his boots. Aria and Noelle look at each other and Noelle gets up slowly.

Noelle Shelley: Umm.. Uncle Gabe…?

He doesn’t bother looking up but does raise an eyebrow, continuing to tie his boots.

Gabe Shelley: Yes, Noelle?

Noelle: Alexia’s car was still there when we left.. But she wasn’t.. we thought she went with you..

Gabe Shelley: Maybe she walked to the arena today? We aren’t too far from the hotel ya know. I’m sure it’s fine you two. Like I said she’s probably still upset that I won’t let her be in the match and when she’s upset it’s better to just give her some space. That’s probably what she’s doing.

The twins look at each other and Aria stands up, the girls start to argue quietly with each other.

Aria Shelley: WE HAVE TO TELL HIM!

Noelle shushes her sister quickly. Gabe finally looks up as he’s finishing the second boot and seems frustrated.

Gabe Shelley: Tell me what?

Noelle Shelley: Nothing.. Shes crazy.

Aria Shelley: I am not! I saw his car!

Gabe Shelley: I’m about to separate the two of you and let you decide who wants to tell me. You have 5 seconds to tell me WHAT is going on. Got it?

He starts to count on his fingers and out loud.

Gabe Shelley: 1… 2… 3…

Aria Shelley: I saw Dad’s car! Noelle thinks I’m crazy and paranoid, but I’m not, I saw it!

Gabe stops and takes a deep breath. He rests his elbows on his knees and sits forward, his head turned towards the two of them.

Gabe Shelley: Okay… I’m about to go on so I’ll make a few phone calls and have someone look around. I’ll swing by Gold’s office and tell him to have security keep an eye out for Alexia. Then once the match is over I’ll search the arena and look for her myself. You two just stay calm and try to call her. Everything will be alright, I’ll handle it.

The twins look to each other, then to their Uncle.

*****J.T. Whiplash versus Gabe Shelley*****

Lights blare as a picture of sharks with freaken’ laser beams attached to their freakin’ heads swim across the screen.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing Gabe Shelley!”

The lights go out as an image of a copperhead slithering down a dirt road airs on the REBEL-Tron as the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play with the snake slithering down the path. The snake then coils up in position to strike as the bagpipe intro ends and “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system as red, white, and blue lighting goes off throughout the arena. Just then, a spot-light shines on J.T. Whiplash in his wrestling attire, holding a Rebel flag as the fans erupt in cheers. J.T. then waves the Rebel flag in the air hollering as he does so. He then puts the flag over his shoulder as he makes his way to the ring slowly, tagging hands with as many fans as he can get to as he gets to the end of the ramp-way, pausing as he waves his Rebel flag around again before walking to the ring steps and sticking his Rebel flag in the ring post as he steps over the middle rope and climbs in the ring, shouting and hollering for the fans to cheer as he climbs up each second turn-buckle and lets out a loud “YEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAWWW!!!” as he gives the crowd a bull-horn sign before he paces back and forth in the ring like a pissed-off hyena as he runs against the ropes a couple of times before going back to pacing as the music dies down.

Ding Ding

J.T stands across from his opponent Gabe Shelley as the bell rings and the two come together like two bulls in a pasture nailing each other with vicious stunning right fists. Gabe is knocked back a step before catching himself and heading back with another knocking fist that causes JT to step back a step. Whiplash lashes out with a boot to the gut but Gabe sidesteps the blow catching JT around the head and slamming him in the forehead with a headbutt sending JT back towards the ropes. Gabe presses his advantage with a roundhouse punch but JT ducks under coming up with a powerful double fist smash to the Shelley’s chin causing him to step back several steps. Jt’s turn to press the advantage as he mounts a bit more offense with right after right sending Gabe into the corner. JT with a whip sends Shelley out, but Gabe with a reversal sends JT back first into the corner. JT stumbles out but Shelley is right there with a boot knocking JT back into the corner. Gabe mounts him there with boot stomp after boot stomp mounting him with corner punches.

Mikey Massacre: Gabe Shelley showing why he is a former World Champion.

Linzi Martin: And why JT will have to go a long way to become one, especially here in Rebel Pro.

JT counters and now Gabe is the one in the corner receiving boot stomp after boot stomp. JT with a regular uppercut to Gabe’s chin rocks his head back on his neck and a short clothesline nearly sends Gabe out of the ring. Gabe with a haymaker right hand, but JT ducks under sending Gabe out with some sort of Somoan drop to the concrete floor. Gabe rolls away from the ring, but here comes JT leaping from the apron with a knee drop onto concrete, Gabe barely avoiding the somewhat high risk move.

Mikey Massacre: That can’t have felt good on JT’s bad wheels.

Linzi Martin: Then he shouldn’t have jumped.

JT holds at his right knee, but Gabe is going to press his advantage while he can and slams his boot onto the side of his knee as JT falls into the railing. Here comes Gabe with a clothesline that sends them both over as JT manages to grab him at the last instant. JT rolls around and both men get up to their knees, but Gabe is quicker to his feet. Gabe rushes over to JT, but Whiplash nails him right in the face with a handfull of popcorn. It doesn’t hurt Gabe at all, but stuns him long enough for JT to nail him right in the face with a beer bottle and send him stumbling back up against the rail. JT receives a chair from a very eager fan, nailing Gabe right in the face with the chair shot and he goes over the railing; JT holds onto the chair.

Linzi Martin: First blood?

Mikey Massacre: I don’t think so, but I’ve been wrong before.

Gabe rolls over to his knees, shoving himself up as JT nails hiim in the back with the chair and kicks him right in the ribs for the extra point. Gabe rolls over, but manages to trip JT up enough and cause the aged veteran to fall and the chair to hit him in the face. Gabe is at the apron, pulling himself up and coming after JT, who is now to his knees. Gabe with a field goal kick and JT is rolled up against the railing. Gabe with a stompfest has JT’s ribs and chest turning red from the blows. Gabe pulls him up to his feet, sending him into the apron with a whip, JT’s back slams hard into the apron before rebounding right into a hard clothesline from Shelley that nearly rolls JT back into the ring. JT is on the dazed street, allowing Gabe to pick up the steel chair and nail him right in the face with the weapon, busting him open on the forehead and down to the concrete floor. Gabe looks out to the crowd, brandishing the steel chair and bringing them up to their feet. Gabe leans over JT, stabbing him on the back of the neck and bad right knee with the top of the chair, doing as much damage as possible. Gabe tosses the chair away.

Mikey Massacre: Gabe perhaps going for the kill move now.

Linzi Martin: JT’s got something!

JT with a hand full of salt right to the eyes of Gabe cause him to stumble back in pain and because he is now blinded. JT pulls himself up and is also holding a cheesegrater from under the ring; we have no idea how it got there, but its Rebel Pro there’s probably a tank there as well. JT brings it across Gabe’s forehead and face bringing a lot of blood to the surface and causing some definite flesh tearing. Gabe throws blind punches but he’s got salt and blood in his eyes now. JT brings up the hand that had salt in it and rubs it on the wounds causing just a bit more pain from the former BWF World Champion.

Linzi Martin: What a saddistic bastard.

Mikey Massacre: The reason that Bubba J would like him to join him and Vincent Black in bringing back the original Rebel Pro.

Gabe turns around, nailing JT with a right fist to the nose and busting it again in his career. JT stumbles back from the sudden and sharp pain and Gabe presses his advantage as he can now see. Gabe with a boot to the gut and DDT onto the cheese grater. Gabe grabs it up dragging it repeatedly over JT’s face turning it to resemble a cheap pack of hamburger meat that is extremely bloody. Gabe lays the chees grater on top of the dented and bloody steel chair as he pulls JT into position with a saddistic grin on his face and has him locked in…

JUNK YARD JAM!(pedigree)

Linzi Martin: JT’s out cold!

Mikey Massacre: Gabe rolls him into the ring, going for the pin.

One!

Two!

JT with a shoulder up keeps the match going and the crowd haven’t set down yet, well except for a Marvin Wood t-shirt wearing fan. Gabe looks a bit astonished as he pulls JT up, nailing him with forearm after forearm shot backing him into the corner. Gabe with a whip sends JT across the ring, slamming chest first into the corner and as he spins around, Gabe nailing his Jersey Cutter(Twist of Faith). Gabe slides out of the ring and pulls a table out from under the ring, sliding it in before tossing a kendo stick and several other items into the squared circle as well. The fans begin a “We want Wood” chant and they don’t mean Marvin Wood either. Gabe sets the chair up, then promptly begrans stringing barbed wire up all over the table and lifting JT into position for his Jersey Bomb(top rope sitout powerbomb). Gabe has him up, but JT is fighting back with rights and lefts leaning over away from the table and…

BOTH MEN FALL TO THE OUTSIDE!

Linzi Martin: Holy Shit! They fell from the top turnbuckle to the concrete floor!

Mikey Massacre: And I think Gabe Shelley got the worst end of that exchange; however neither man is moving.

Referee Jimmy Johnson slides outside with the quickness and checks on both men before signaling for the paramedics to come out there and help them out; Gabe landed on his head and JT landed heavily on his face/side. The paramedics rush out there as the crowd has gone silent, but the Marvin Wood fan is nodding as though to say “That is what you get!” The paramedics load both men up on the stretchers and haul them backstage, the crowd is completely silent still.

Mikey Massacre: A truly tragic turn of even…

The crowd explodes in cheers as JT comes from the back peppering Gabe’s face and head with right after rights, but Gabe is returning with a combination of rights and lefts as well. Gabe swings with another haymaker, but JT ducks under and splashes something up into Gabe’s face that causes him to stumble near the edge of the stage, JT tosses away a pack of lemon juice that he threw into the eyes and cut face of Shelley. Gabe turns around, right into a desperation superkick from JT that sends him over the edge of the stage to the equipment below! JT doesn’t hesitate, he launches himself over the side of the stage while yelling out in a basic yell of defiance!

Mikey Massacre: My gawd, they’ll kill each other!

Linzi Martin: Gabe won’t back down and evidentally neither will JT Whiplash!

The cameras cut to the two bodies, but JT is not on top of Shelley, as he somehow managed to roll out of the way and JT landed right where Gabe had been, a few sparks spraying up from the equipment table and the smell of burnt plastic filling the air. Gabe rolls off the table, looking down as blood drips from his face and a few scorch marks cover his chest and back, pulling JT off the table, showing the same marks of the battle on his body as well. Gabe drags the stumbling JT towards the ring, nailing him about every fourth step with an elbow and every third step with a right fist to the temple to keep him docile.

Linzi Martin: Both men look like they’ve been through hell.

Mikey Massacre: They have been, believe me.

Gabe rolls Jt into the ring, rolling in slowly after him and pulling him up to his feet. Gabe whips him towards the ropes, but JT reverses and catches Gabe with aRideen bomb through the barbed wire table that Gabe had set up earlier!

Linzi Martin: That’s got to be it.

Mikey Massacre: Whiplash with the Whip-cracker, let’s find out, JT with the cover.

One!

Two!

Gabe somehow shoves his shoulder up into the air and no one can believe it, they cheer it, but they can’t believe it. JT bows his head before climbing up to the top turnbuckle. JT jumps off with the Rebel Yell(big body splash); JT holds his ribs and makes the cover.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match… JT Whiplash!

JT pulls himself up and stares as Bubba J walks from the back, clapping and showing his approval with a nod.

Bubba J: “Way to go son, way to show that an old man can still beat…”

He points to Gabe Shelley.

Bubba J: “Another broken down old man.”

He looks out to the crowd as he continues speaking then back to JT Whiplash.

Bubba J: “You had some mighty big words for me, didn’t ya?”

He holds up a hand.

Bubba J: “Frankly Whiplash, I don’t give a damn what you say about me, all I care about is returning this company to the bloody thirsty savageland it used to be.”

He points to Whiplash and to Shelley.

Bubba J: “And it appears that you can do that, but I want to see exactly how hardcore you can be son, how long you are willing to stick around, before anyone that I’m associated with offers you a chance to join the most elite of all extremists.”

Bubba J points to Mikey Massacre at the announcers’ table.

Bubba J: “Check out some of his matches, that is what I’m looking for. I want true hardcore dedication and so do my associates… I’ve asked you before, but do you have what it takes to stick around and help us out Whiplash?”

He stares into the Confederate Copperhead’s eyes.

Bubba J: “Or do you want to hide in your drugs and boos and run like the chicken so many people say that you are?”

The two men stare down.

Bubba J: “The choice and options are your’s Whiplash, your call to make.”

Bubba J leaves as “Simple Man” hits back up in the speakers.

*****RISE ABOVE… And Prove Your Worth*****

We fade to darkness… “Civilian” by Wye Oak begins to play in the background.

RISE ABOVE…. MEDIOCRITY.

We see a flash of light.

RISE ABOVE… EMOTION.

We see Lisa Seldon, holding all her belts. Lisa Forever!

RISE ABOVE… PAIN.

We see Vincent Black destroying Emily Corlen, and hoisting the REBEL Pro Tag titles with Bubba J.

RISE ABOVE… MADNESS.

We see the blood smeared hallways of a particular mental institution…

RISE ABOVE… DARKNESS.

We see Legion raising his head, glaring into the camera.

RISE ABOVE… REGRET.

The Confederate Copperhead J.T. Whiplash, his hand being raised in triumph.

RISE ABOVE… PERCEPTION.

We see Violet Harper, bloodied and battered as she raises the Aggression title high.

RISE ABOVE… CHALLENGE

We see Justin Case getting to his feet, flashes of his brilliant REBEL Pro career.

RISE ABOVE… AND PROVE! YOUR! WORTH!

Prove Your Worth, LIVE September 5^th, 2011 at The Freedom Hall in Louisville, Kentucky!

I don’t need another friend
When most of them
I can barely keep up with them
Perfectly able to hold my own hand,
But I still can’t kiss my own neck

Civilian.
Civilian.

Fade to ringside…

*****AoWF Television Title Tournament Round 1*****
*****Vicious Vic Wagner(PWA) versus Marvin Wood(VW)*****

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall! The winner will advance to the Second Round of the AOWF Television Title Tournament! Introducing first, representing the Pioneer Wrestling Association…

A lion roars over the PA system and “King of the Hill” by Annihilator blares. “Vicious” Vic Wagner emerges from the curtain, glaring out at the fans as he gives them his sign, being booed by the majority of fans but cheered by a strong contingent excited to see a battle between two ring technicians.

Jenny Jersey: From Munich, Germany, weighing in at two-hundred and fifty-nine pounds… The Pioneer Wrestling Association INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION… he is… “VICIOUS” VIC WAGNER!

He makes his way to the ring, threatening to punch a few fans who get in his face, telling Wagner to get out of “REBEL Pro” country.

JENNY JERSEY: And his opponent, representing Victory Wrestling, making his way from Pontefract, England…

You’d like to think that “Pomp & Circumstance March No.4” by Edward Elgar is going to hit the sound system and Marvin Wood walks out all tough and smart-looking, but that’s not the case. Instead, we get treated to a true American song. A song from a great entertainer. “Asshole” by Denis Leary cues up on the sound system as Marvin Wood makes his way from backstage, not pleased at all.

Denis Leary: Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the American dream. About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the sub-cockle area, maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys, maybe even in the colon. We don’t know…

Leary’s great song kicks in full gear as the big screen in the arena lights up showing the inside of the fancy production truck for tonight’s event. Simon Kalis is inside, of course. We all kind of expected that, but what we don’t expect is former PWA World Champion Matthew Engel sitting next to him.

Virus: They have six packs of cognac?

Kalis: Where I go they do. I’m black remember?

Virus: Seems legit.

Meanwhile Wood is looking up at the screen as Denis Leary’s “Asshole” continues on. Vic Wagner watches, hiding a smirk.

“I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole (He’s an asshole, such an asshole)”

We go back to the production truck, and now there’s that damn kangaroo with them. Rupert!

Rupert: *KANGAROO NOISES*

Virus: Now I’ve seen it all.

Kalis: Dude, this guy is hilarious.

Virus: Is this his Marvin Wood impression? Because it’s awesome.

Rupert is smoking a big pipe and trying to read a book about Condensation.

Virus: Con…den…sayytion.

Kalis: Your British accent needs work, dawg.

Virus: So does your black accent.

Kalis: OH SNAP!

Kalis and Virus exchange awkward white/black guy high fives.

Virus: Wood is clearly an asshole. Good pick.

Kalis: A…SS… HO… LE! Everybody!

Kalis/Virus/Crowd: A… SS.. HO… LE!

Kalis/Virus: Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song. Ranting and raving and carrying on. Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong…NAAAAH!

Both Virus and Kalis raise their drinks up. Virus is drinking a Sharps. Typical alcoholic. Kalis is still rocking his juicebox of cognac.

Kalis: YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!

Virus: YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!

Kalis: HE’S AN ASSHOLE!

Virus: SUCH AN ASSHOLE!

The song continues and Wood is really pissed now, almost begging for one of them to come down to the ring and fight him. He’s in the ring as the crowd is going crazy with laughter.

Virus: What is Wood gonna do about it? He can’t do anything about this. We’re pretty much the shit. And we got the bombs, okay?! Two words: nuclear fucking weapons, okay?!

Kalis: That’s like, four words.

Virus: Well it doesn’t matter! This is America! This ain’t some tea party for finer gentlemen club! Fuck, I need to come work here.

Kalis pulls out a contract he just had lying around.

Kalis: Sign it, I’ve literally been passing these around like I’m some deaf guy trying to collect money.

Virus: Dude, harsh. My uncle was deaf.

Kalis: You think I give a shit about your uncle? You think Marvin Wood does?! WE’RE ASSHOLES!

And right on cue with the song ending…

Virus/Kalis: And we’re proud of it!

They both smirk.

Kalis: See ya bitches!

The big screen goes black and Wood is fucking super pissed as he turns to face Wagner. The referee finally rings the bell.

Linzi Martin: Man that was awesome.
DING DING DING

Mikey Massacre: Wow, a classic wrestling bout! Two technicians, neither really experienced outside the squared circle… it almost doesn’t feel like REBEL Pro Wrestling as of late!

Linzi Martin: Why you always slamming this place? What’s wrong with the way REBEL is as of late?

Mikey Massacre: No, nothing, you’re right… just seems like with the matches we’ve seen and guys like Hardcore Entertainment saying the hardcore ain’t enough, no one remembers that we used to pride ourselves on our technical experts! REBEL wasn’t just the country of blood, it was the country of Nick Everhardt, Derrick Steele, Rex Caliber, Kyle Roberts, Chris F’N Casino for Chrissakes! And now… it seems strange. But I like it. I welcome it!

The two competitors circle each other. Each reaches for the opponent’s wrist to no avail. Each goes for a single-leg takedown but the other scoots away. They continue like this for a solid thirty seconds before Wood, the smaller and slightly faster of the two, is able to grab Wagner’s leg. He trips out the back foot and drops an elbow into the knee of Wagner, quickly applying a kneelock. But Wagner quickly reverses into a chinlock which he cinches. Wood gets to his feet and reverses into a wristlock. Before he can cinch, Wagner reaches back and snapmares his opponent over. A big elbow to the back of Wood’s head! Another! A third!

Mikey Massacre: Fast elbow strikes from “Vicious” Vic!

Linzi Martin: He also dug his knee into the back of his opponent at the same time!

Wagner picks Wood up and whips him from rope to rope, reversed by Wood! Wood with an arm-drag takedown! Another! Wagner gets to his feet only to be pushed into the corner by Wood. Knife edge chop! Another! A third! Wood whips him from one corner to the next. Wagner reverses into a short-arm clothesline!

Mikey Massacre: Both men showing their technical aptitude in the early minutes!

Linzi Martin: One count! Wood kicks out with authority!

Wagner drops a knee on Wood’s forehead! He picks Wood up and throws his head into the turnbuckle! And he successfully whips him from one corner to the other. Runs in for a splash but Wood gets a foot up! Wagner staggers back. Wood with a clothesline that takes Wagner down! Wagner quickly gets to his feet only to be dropkicked back down!

One—kickout!

Linzi Martin: Marvin Wood takes control of the match back from Wagner!

Mikey Massacre: Chicken Wing Camel Clutch applied by Marvin Wood! He is controlling the tempo now!

But it might be too early because Wagner quickly powers out of it, spins around his opponent, and pulls him up with a waistlock. Waistlock takedown. He picks Wood up, the waistlock still on. He appears to be going for some type of German suplex but Wood battles out of it with stiff back elbows and reverses the waistlock into one of his own. German from Wood—Wagner flips backwards and lands on his feet! Dropkick to Wood! Wood up just in time to get Irish whipped into the corner. Wagner runs towards him… this time he lands the big splash! Wood stumbles forward… Wagner catches him in a big spinebuster! Cover!

1!

2!

Kickout!

Vic Wagner quickly transitions into a rear naked choke, but Wood appeared ready for it and gets to his feet. They lock-up. Wagner spins around him and applies a full nelson hold, working on the neck of his opponent. Wood tries to run to the ropes but Wagner keeps him towards the middle, really working on the neck. Finally, Wood jumps up onto the top turnbuckle and flips backwards, breaking the hold! But Wagner immediately catches Wood with a neckbreaker! He gets on top of Wood and begins pounding away at his skull. Rights and lefts! Rights and lefts!

Mikey Massacre: Wagner back in control! He just may defeat the Victory Wrestling World Champion here on Aggression!

Linzi Martin: But, like you said, he is a world champion! And, from what I know, a very egotistical and proud world champion—he will not be defeated easily!

Wood crawls out from underneath Wagner but Wagner cinches in a cobra clutch! But before he can really lock it in, Wood escapes to the outside to reorient himself. He does some neck stretches to ease the pain in his neck. Wagner stands waiting in the ring, signaling him to return. Wood jumps onto the ring apron. Wagner attacks him with rights and lefts, then grabs his head and throws it into the turnbuckle—no! Wood blocks it with his arms! He smashes Wagner’s head into the ‘buckle. Twice! Three times! Four times! Five times! Wagner staggers backwards. Wood goes up top! MISSILE DROPKICK! And he immediately applies a STF!

Mikey Massacre: You called it, Linzi!

Linzi Martin: Wood has Wagner in the middle of the ring! Will he tap?

Wagner crawls towards the ropes with his one free arm but can’t get very far. Realizing this, he begins punching Wood. Wood releases the crossface allowing Wagner to get to a rope and use the leverage provided to break the hold. Wood stands up and immediately drops boots on Wagner’s head. He pulls Wagner towards the middle. Single-leg Boston crab… Wagner kicks him away! Wagner gets to his feet just in time to catch a foot from Wood. Enzuigiri kick sends Wood staggering… right into a huge T-Bone suplex!

Cover!

1!

2!

3—KICKOUT!

He pulls Wood to his feet and hooks a waistlock. But Wood reverses! German suplex—he rolls through! Into a second German… with a BRIDGE! Beautiful!

1!

2!

3—KICKOUT!

Mikey Massacre: A suplex CLINIC!

Wood pulls Wagner up to the top! He takes his time, also trying to catch his breath. He hooks him for a superplex! They exchange blows on the top-rope! Wood with some big headbutts. Wagner fires back with some side elbows. But Wood fires back with vicious knife edge chops! Double Arm Superplex! COVER!

1!

2!

3! NO, KICKOUT!

Mikey Massacre: I can’t believe he kicked out again! If that were me, I’d be GONZO!

Linzi Martin: Yes you would!

Mikey Massacre: Oh come on!

Wood with a quick Suplex, holds on… a second… a third—no! Wagner with a kick to the gut. He steps back, then forward… ROARING ELBOW! Ducked by Wood… Back Suplex to Wagner!

COVER!

1!

2!

3! NO–KICKOUT!

Wood pulls Wagner up just enough to apply the Inverted Trachea Choke Hold from seated position! Has it locked in for a bit, then Wagner slowly gets to his feet… chinbreaker! Stunning Wood!

Mikey Massacre: Wagner reached down deep!

Wagner hits his ROARING ELBOW! Wood stumbles but doesn’t fall. A second ROARING ELBOW! Finally off of the ropes with a huge ELBOW SMASH sends him down!

COVER!

1!

2!

3… KICKOUT!

Wagner goes up top as Wood gets to his feet. FLYING CLOTHESLINE!

COVER!

1!

2!

3! NO KICKOUT!

Wagner grabs the Victory champion and sets him up for Gallows Humor on the top turnbuckle!

Mikey Massacre: If he nails this, this is OVER!

Linzi Martin: Sure is.

But Wood fights him off!

Mikey Massacre: These two men better save something for Round 2! One of them will get there!

Linzi Martin: They are battling on the top turnbuckle!

Mikey Massacre: And there are no tables in sight to be thrown through!

Wood wins the battle and a series of huge headbutts sends Wagner off of the turnbuckle! Wood goes for a top-rope splash… but Wagner gets his knees up! Now Wagner climbs up top. Diving headbutt… Wood rolls out of the way!

Linzi Martin: Both men are on the mat! Wood holding his abdomen and Wagner holding his head!

Wood gets to his feet first. Wagner is about to turn around when… Wood NAILS him with IMPERFECT TENSE! COVER!

1!

2!

3!

Jenny Jersey: The winner, advancing to Round 2 of the AOWF Television Title Tournament… the Victory Wrestling WORLD CHAMPION… MARVIN WOOD

Wood has his hand raised by the referee and seems quite satisfied with his victory. He nods respectfully to Vig Wagner as he makes his leave of the ring.

*****Sexy Time!*****

Backstage we find the sexy and awesome Violet Harper, the RPW Aggression Champion!

Violet Harper: “Cue the sexy.”

*replay from last week’s Aggression*

LINZI MARTIN: I LOVE YOU VIOLET!

Back to Violet.

Violet Harper: “Thank you, Linzi. I love you too. And I dig chicks. Especially chicks that are wrestling nerds. Linzi Martin knows just about everything when it comes to our business. Did you all know before she came to Rebel Pro, she was a commentator and interviewer for the PWA on their Chaos brand? Yeah, she knows her stuff.”

Violet gives the camera a wink.

Violet Harper: “Unfortunately my boyfriend is very traditional, so we can’t… really share our knowledge with each other, if you get what I mean darlin’. But I gotta be honest, if I feel the need to celebrate because I do something big – like win another shiny belt or defend mine against insurmountable odds? Well, let’s just say Linzi you’re getting invited to the party in my pants.”

She smiles. The crowd begins to howl and whistle.

Violet Harper: “But on a serious note… last week I went to the extreme to pull out a win against another douchebag trying to come into Rebel Pro and tell us that we’re nothing but scrubs. Well I showed him didn’t I? I gave that little brat Lucious Starr a taste of Violet Harper!”

The crowd goes wild.

Violet Harper: “Of Rebel Pro!”

The crowd pops again.

Violet Harper: “And especially a taste of what’s to come!”

The crowd keeps going. They love her!

Violet Harper: “See… I got such a damn…rush! Last week, you know? I just want Rebel fans to know that while I value my safety and the safety of the fans, I value winning and being awesome just a little bit more. So feel free to send me ideas, things you’d like to see me blow up, people you’d like to see me set on fire, and other wacky stuff that I can do to help entertain you all and make this place even more awesome than it already is! You can email me at violetharpersexytime at rebelpro dot com!”

She holds up a sign that has the same email address written on it in hot pink with glitter. She’s such a chick sometimes.

Violet Harper: “In the mean time, Rebel Pro faithful, I will continue my winning ways and I will be defeating any challenge Mr. Kalis puts in front of me to remain the baddest and sexiest Aggression Champion ever!”

She blows the camera a kiss and begins to walk away, the camera catching an exceptional glimpse of Violet’s rear end in a delicious chocolate skirt. Well, you wish it was made of chocolate, so you could eat it right off of her, but unfortunately it’s just the color. Cut back to ringside.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Listen, Linzi, if you don’t wanna go to the party in her pants, I would gladly take your –

LINZI MARTIN: No way in Hell, Mikey.

We can literally hear the sad face.

*****AoWF Intercontinental Championship Match*****
*****Vincent Black(REBEL) versus The Phoenix©(VW)*****

“Carbomb” hits as Vincent Black makes his way to the ring.

JENNY JERSEY: Introducing first! REBEL Pros challenger!

The crowd cheers.

JENNY JERSEY: He is one half of the REBEL Pro World Tag Team CHAMPIONS…. VINCENT BLACK!!!

The crowd cheers him as he enters the ring.

JENNY JERSEY: And his opponent, from Orlando, Florida…

You were expecting The Phoenix’s theme to come on, whatever the devil he’s using these days. But it’s not! It’s Matthew Engel and Simon Kalis, once again in their production truck on the big screen. Rob Robinson waltzs out to the stage thinking his song is on and he’s all pumped up, but no one is cheering.

Virus: Rob is a man of dignity.

Kalis: And a man of addictions.

Virus: A man of class.

Kalis: And a man with no ass.

Virus cracks up, trying to keep going.

Virus: He’s a visionary!

Kalis: And he likes to do it missionary!

Virus: And all he really wants?

Kalis: Is Sex…

Virus: And Yoo-Hoo!

“Sex and Beer” by Pat McCurdy hits the sound system as Kalis and Virus rock out to the Wisconsin legend’s only big hit.

Virus/Kalis: Sex and Yoo-Hoo… Sex and Yoo-Hoo…are the two things he holds dear! Sex and Yoo-hoo…Sex and Yoo-hoo…are the things he likes ’round here!

The song continues in the background as The Phoenix is very angry, you can even tell behind that mask of his. Kalis quickly puts on a Phoenix mask he bought for 75 cents at a flea market. Virus pops a big pipe in his mouth and is wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat.

Virus as Marvin Wood: Speaking with logic, we are the best because we never lose, especially not to some young punk and an adult-sized emo kid, and we hold all the gold in Victory Wrestling. Philosophically speaking, you are a great champion because you cheat at every turn! Realistically speaking, I am a great champion because I finally have something shiny to put around my waist after all these years of hard and dedicated work. Changing lives, Robinson! That is the name of the game!

SK as Phoenix: DUDE! GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN YOO-HOO! I… I’ll suck yo dick, man. Just give me the chocolately good stuff.

Virus as Marvin Wood: Philosophically speaking, the Yoo-hoo needs you more than you need the Yoo-hoo. You have to learn to control your addictions, guvna.

SK as Phoenix: Wait, what?

Virus as Marvin Wood: Quite.

Virus sucks on his pipe and bubbles come out of it.

Virus as Marvin Wood: Now sir, I shall read you a passage from my favorite written work, Dr. Seuss’s The Cat in the Hat.

SK as Phoenix is scratching his neck, obviously running rampant with his Yoo-hoo addiction and is barely fighting off the urge to maim his hetero life partner Virus as Marvin Wood!

Virus as Marvin Wood: “I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny. But we can have lots of good fun that is funny!”

SK as Phoenix: “Yoo-hoo! I need… Yoo-hoo. Can’t…win…without…cheating…unless… have… YOO-HOO!”

Virus as Marvin Wood: “Indeed.”

SK as Phoenix is having a seizure! This is a catastrophe! Virus as Marvin Wood however remains emotionless and focused.

Virus as Marvin Wood: “Brilliant. I must research the chemicals within this chocolately drink that could possess a man with such stature and power. Doth I dare have a taste?”

Virus as Marvin Wood grabs something from out of his pocket. SK as Phoenix is passed out from the withdrawal. Virus as Marvin Wood takes a gulp. His eyes light up like a Christmas Tree!

Virus as Marvin Wood: THIS IS THE DOG’S BOLLOCKS!

Virus as Marvin Wood begins chugging the Yoo-hoo! He’s got the crazy eyes now!

Virus as Marvin Wood: MORE YOO-HOO PLEASE!

The screen goes black, and then the late great Rick James shows up on the screen.

Rick James: Man…Yoo-hoo is a hell of a drug.

Back to Kalis and Virus in the production truck. They’re both laughing their asses off. Kalis took the Phoenix mask off and Virus took his hat off, but kept the pipe.

Kalis: You love that pipe don’tcha?

Virus: It’s grown on me.

Kalis: Do you know how mad Rob is right now?

Virus: Probably not as mad as the day he found out he got herpes.

Kalis: OH SNAP!

They exchange another awkward white/black guy high five. Nearly missed, too. Amateurs.

Kalis: I think we pissed Wood off so bad he turned French.

Virus: OH SNAP! But – if he was French, he wouldn’t be able to live up to his last name.

Kalis: … Why?

Virus: Because the French are a bunch of pussies.

Kalis: Hahahahaha… man, we’re outta cognac.

Virus: Call Jeremy and tell him to make a beer run.

Kalis: B double E double R U-N! That spells BEER RUN!

Kalis pulls out his phone and speed dials Jeremy. He answers, and he’s terrified per usual.

Kalis: Get us some more cognac, nigga!

Kalis hangs up.

Virus: What do you get when you cross Woods with a Phoenix?

Kalis: ????

Virus: EVERYTHING BURNS!

Kalis starts rolling with laughter.

Kalis: Did you just make a fat joke?

Virus: No that was an Emily Cor- ohhh…yes, haha. Yes I did!

Kalis laughs some more and then turns toward the camera.

Kalis: Alright Robbie, have your match. Black’s gonna kill you anyway.

We cut back to ringside where Robinson has literally had enough and has already started attacking Vincent Black. The bell finally rings.

DING DING DING

Black pushes Phoenix away and now Phoenix circles the ring, smirking, cocky, he’s got his swag on so hard we can hear Souljah Boy in our heads and somewhere Corey Lazarus is face palming. Phoenix launches a quick strike with an open palm to Vincent Blacks throat. Black stumbles a bit and holds his neck, but he simply charges at Phoenix and clotheslines him to the canvas! The fans cheer for Black, but their cheers quickly turn sour as Phoenix counters it by catching Black’s arm and holding onto him, Phoenix quickly takes Black down with an implant DDT. Black powers his way to his feet and begins an all out brawl with the Phoenix! Black with a right! Phoenix with a left! Black with an uppercut! Phoenix with a kick to his shins. Black keels over a bit, giving Phoenix the time to do a flipping neck breaker thing! It’s like whoa! Black is all whoosh, THUD! Phoenix bounces off the ropes, but pricks himself off the barbed wire middle ropes and rolls his eyes at the fucking silly REBEL Pro people and their ring of death. But he starts running again, goes for a leg drop on Black, but Black rolls out of the way.

Linzi Martin: Lots of back and forth so far!

Mikey Massacre: Crush the Phoenix, Vinny!

Phoenix quickly keeps his pace, locking a sleeper hold onto Vincent Black. But Black immediately begins trying to power his way out of it, throwing errant elbows behind himself. Black, using his strength, stands all the way up and Phoenix hangs off his back with the sleeper hold still locked on. Black wobbles around, trying to keep his balance before wilfully dropping back and crushing the Phoenix under his weight. Black rolls Phoenix over and covers.

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Linzi Martin: I don’t think anyone expected Phoenix would go down that easy, but still. The fans here are anxious.

Mikey Massacre: Yep. They wanna see Black take the gold!

Black whistles at a fan, who reaches into their backpack and throws him a small baseball bat! Phoenix looks all “WTF” at this, right till Black swings it. He cracks Phoenix over the head, Phoenix stumbles back, the crowd cheers. REBEL Pro- fuck yeah! Black with another swing, in Phoenix’s ribs, into Phoenix’s legs, he’s going buck with the bat. Phoenix regains his composure, he’s too bossy to be taken out with a bat. Phoenix grapples Black, forcing Black to drop the bat. Phoenix lifts his knee into Blacks gut. Swinging neck breaker! Phoenix grabs Blacks legs now, and much to the chagrin of the fans, Phoenix locks in a Texas Cloverleaf.

Mikey Massacre: We’ve been subjected to this pure wrestling almost all night. I think the REBEL fans are getting blood thirsty.

Linzi Martin: Uhh…. *Ducks a flying chair from the crowd* Yeah, you’re probably right.

Phoenix smiles under his mask, the crowd is getting restless. They’re throwing their chairs at ringside at the ring, their beer cans, their other garbage and things. Black is refusing to tap, looking around at all the fans as they begin getting anxious and stir crazy. Suddenly brawls begin breaking out all over the arena in the stands between fans,

as they begin smashing shit over each others heads. Phoenix finds this amusing as he wrenches the Texas Cloverleaf tighter and tighter, Black wincing as he feels the pressure rising and rising.

Mikey Massacre: Oh shit, they’re gonna need to call in riot squads. The crowd is losing it, Linzi!

Black has had enough, and using his strength he literally powers out of the cloverleaf by throwing Phoenix off of him. He holds himself for a moment though, he’s feeling the effects. Phoenix stands back up and looks around the arena, as the crowd is in an all out brawl. One fan even gets thrown over the barricade and into a pile of chairs at ringside. Phoenix shakes his head.

The Phoenix: Savages. REBEL Pro and their fans are all savages.

Black is out of the ring and has a big bag of goodies from under the ring. He slides back in as Phoenix watches this madness. Black pours out the contents of his bag and it’s thumbtacks! Hundreds of them! Phoenix isn’t some rookie though and can hear Black behind him. Black goes to grab Phoenix, Phoenix side steps out of the way after checking Blacks position on the REBELTron. Phoenix with a short arm clothesline! Black isn’t as phased as Phoenix would’ve hoped. Black grabs Phoenix, high angle spine buster onto the thumbtacks! Ohhhh he’s gonna feel that in the right fucking now.

Mikey Massacre: Jesus! These fans aren’t even watching the match anymore. It’s all hell breaking loose here Linzi.

Linzi Martin: I know and…

A fan jumps the barricade and tries to grab Linzi, but she quickly twists his arm and smashes his face through a small screen at the announcers table.

Linzi Martin: Asshole.

Mikey Massacre: Damn!

Phoenix rolls around on his back, trying to get off all the thumbtacks that are now pricked into him. Black grabs Phoenix by the neck and lifts him right up off the canvas. For a moment the crowd here in Chattanooga all stop to watch the match, people bleeding, drinking, crying… Phoenix kicks and tries to rip himself out of Blacks grip… Black lifts him higher, CHOKESLAM ONTO THE THUMBTACKS! Phoenix thuds hard onto the canvas as Black goes for the pin!

1!

2!!

THRE-KICK OUT!

The crowd BOOOOOOOOOS at this, and immediately all hell breaks loose again as someone gets thrown off a balcony through to a second tier balcony through a table in the crowd. Someone is having their face smashed between two chairs, another person is being bashed with a beer bottle till it’s broken over their head. It’s then we hear police sirens. Black is caught off guard, as Phoenix rolls him up.

1!

2!!

THRE-KICK OUT!

Black elbows Phoenix in the face, and tries flattening him as he covers.

1!

2!!

THREEE-NO! THAT ASSHOLE PHOENIX KICKS OUT!

Riot police begin running in all over the arena, warning people over the loud speaker to calm down. At this point something is lit on fire somewhere in the crowd, people are running around in a panic as they beat each other silly.

Mikey Massacre: HOLY SHIT IT’S LIKE LONDON IN HERE!

Phoenix and Black are up. Phoenix with a Russian leg sweep, driving Black’s face all up in those fucking thumbtacks! A fan with a chair jumps the barricade and runs in! He slides into the ring and Phoenix is all, fuck this guy, kicks the chair out of his hand. The drunk fan now realizes where he is, the idiot. Phoenix hit’s the Flame onto the chair on the fan and this fan rolls out of the ring, mashed out. But this distraction gives Black his chance! Black twists Phoenix around.

Police over Loudspeaker: FIRE!

VINCENT BLACK WITH THE KEG TAP ONTO THE THUMBTACKS ON THE PHOENIX!!! The police begin firing tear gas all over the arena though! A canister hit’s the ring as Black covers!

1!

2!!

…………………

Mikey Massacre: I can’t see!!! DID BLACK WIN?

Linzi Martin: FUCK THIS, MIKEY!

Linzi covers her mouth as she drops her headset and makes a beeline for the entrance ramp, the arena filling with tear gas and the sounds of people getting their ass beat by the cops.

Mikey Massacre: Oh hell.

The referee stumbles around in the ring as we can clearly see, covering his mouth. It’s then we see Phoenix bashing Blacks face with that baseball bat! Phoenix climbs to the top rope… THE ASHES! THE ASHES ON VINCENT BLACK! Phoenix covers!

1!

2!!

3!!!

Mikey Massacre: NO!!! NO!!! THERE IS NO WAY PHOENIX KICKED OUT OF THE KEG TAP!

DING DING DING

Everything falls silent.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… AND STILLLLLLLLLLLL AoWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMP

She can’t even finish as everyone in the arena screams. It’s madness. There’s people brawling everywhere. Phoenix grabs his title and makes a run for the back as Black sits up, fucking pissed off. He looks at the referee but he referee gets hit by a baton from a cop for whatever reason. WHO KNOWS?! IT’S MADNESS!

Mikey Massacre: Uh for Linzi Martin!

Mikey ducks a flying woman who got thrown by some big drunk guy.

Mikey Massacre: This is Mikey Massacre! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

A canister of tear gas lands right onto the announcers table and Mikey makes a run for it as we fade….

*****FEAR*****

[ Static. ]

The scene opens up with an extreme close-up of Patient 4479’s face, leaning back he tilts his head.

Patient 4479: Is it on?

Waiting a few seconds before he leans back in, tapping the camera lens with his finger.

Patient 4479: I can’t tell if it’s on. — The lights on, does that mean it’s on?

Unknown: I don’t know.

Frustrated, Patient 4479 puts his mouth right up to the camera lens, speaking loudly.

Patient 4479: Hellooooo? — Are you on?

Aggravated.

Patient 4479: Let me see it.

We see Patient 4479 grab the now fogged-up camera, flipping it around before finally aiming at the floor. All we can see are his dirty feet from not wearing shoes, it appears as though he has stepped in something brown.

Patient 4479: We’re good.

Unknown: Yeah?

Patient 4479: Yeah, the little red light there, that means it’s on.

Unknown: Oooh, I thought that meant the battery was low.

Patient 4479: No, we’re good. Now set it back up on the tripod and we’ll get ready to shoot the promo. My big live debut.

Unknown: Sure thing.

The camera begins flipping around again, the angle gets upright and we see Patient 4479 calmly walking back and forth in the hallway, humming and dancing, clapping his hands and really just enjoying himself.

Unknown: Uhm,…

Patient 4479: What is it NOW, Dennis? Hm? How hard can it be to operate a JVC?!

Dennis: JVC?

Patient 4479: Yeah, JVC.

Sighing, he walks back to the camera, taking it back up off the tripod and flipping it around.

Patient 4479: It stands for “Junk Video Camera”. I guess, like anywhere else, Rebel Pro spends too much money in some areas and not enough in other areas. They should be spending money on the important things — like video & audio equipment, advertising and talent. I mean, have you seen some of the people in this place?

The camera begins to zoom in and out as Patient 4479 begins pressing buttons.

Dennis: Uhm,…

Patient 4479: Nothing but — self-entitled, rednecks, whores, prima donnas, and all-around psychos — and

that’s just Lisa Seldon. Don’t even get me started on the rest of them.

Short pause before he continues, the camera switches to night-vision.

Patient 4479: Then there’s Violet Harper, she’s in love with Simon Kalis. Or at least I think she is, I don’t know. She’s mad cause Simon has another love interest and he’s showing her any attention.

Dennis: Kalis? You mean that dead skin on your hand?

Patient 4479: Yeah, wait, I mean no! No, Simon Kalis, he’s the guy that “runs the show” around here. — Pfft. — We’ll see about that.

The camera now changes to thermal view.

Patient 4479: Oooh shit, now I’ve done it.

Dennis: No, you just have to…

The camera switches back to normal view.

Patient 4479: Well, look at you. [mockingly] Dennis the camera expert.

Dennis: I used to be a cameraman for Animal Planet.

Patient 4479: Really? Did you ever have to film them, you know — doing it? — Speaking of animals, did I mention that Rebel has a bunch of hillbillies running around? There’s Bubba J, J.T. Whiplash — and you have to watch out for those two, they’re worse than llamas. Leaving their oral excretions everywhere. It’s disgusting.

Short pause while we see Patient 4479 itch the brown stuff on his foot.

Patient 4479: Then you’ve got Lucious Starr, he’s in love with Simon too — he’s not ready to come out of the closet just yet. He’s doing this whole elementary school, puppy dog love bit, where he’s picking on the boy that he likes the most at recess. I think Lucious is going to ask Jaice Wilde to be his maid of honor, problem is Simon has already asked him to be his best man.

Dennis: Jaice sounds like a girls name.

Patient 4479: If I had a girl, I’d want to name her Jaice. That’s a compliment.

Snickers.

Patient 4479: Oh, and I can’t forget Justin Case…

Dennis: Just in case of what?

Patient 4479: No, that’s his name.

Dennis: There is a human being named Justin Case?

Patient 4479: Yeah, and he thinks he “rules” the show, just like Simon does. He‘s going to be the pallbearer, er — ring bearer. He‘s going to be the ring bearer at the wedding.

Dennis: Sounds like a lot of fun. You think you can get an invite, plus one? I love wedding cake.

Patient 4479: I don‘t know. There is a very critical cake-to-person ratio, we have to be careful not to disturb that balance. It has to be maintained. So, if they‘ve already sent out the invites, we‘ll just have to take someone else’s place. — I’ll see if Legion is going to go, I’m sure he has more than enough invitations. [mocking Legion] “For we are many.”

The camera goes black, but we can still hear sound.

Patient 4479: Lastly, there’s Bobby Lee. — He’s another redneck, lives in a trailer, believes he was abducted by intelligent beings from another planet and what have you. They couldn’t have been that intelligent if they were visiting a trailer park in the south. A real fruit cake that Bobby Lee is, completely harmless, for now.

The picture pops back up, the camera stops jostling around and sets up right.

Patient 4479: There! I think we’re ready!!

Patient 4479 walks out in front of the camera and gets ready to shoot his promo.

Patient 4479: Yeah, Rebel Pro is so bad they have to borrow talent from their sister feds and have a “night of champions” just to draw in ratings. How lame. All because they lost Emily Corlen. Too many princesses at the formal and Simon could only pick one. So, he chose the one with the most money and the nicest hair. Sorry Em, you’re just too fat and emotional. She eats when she gets sad and losing her tag titles drove her to an all-you-can-eat-crisco-butter-and-sperm buffet. — Lucious doesn‘t know how lucky he is. — Are you ready yet?

Patient turns around and looks at Dennis.

Dennis: Actually, that’s what I was going to tell you.

Patient 4479: What? — Tell me what?

Throw his hands up in the air.

Patient 4479: Talk ape!

Dennis: We were filming, live, this whole time.

Patient 4479: I would certainly hope so, it’d be kind of strange if we were both dead and the camera was rolling.

Dennis: No, I mean, everyone has been able to hear and see us for the last five minutes.

Patient 4479 gets a puzzled look on his face, then realizes –

Patient 4479: Everyone?

Dennis: Yeah.

Patient 4479: The whole time?

Patient 4479 starts walking towards the camera with a bit of a hustle in his step.

Patient 4479: Quick, shut it off!

Patient 4479 covers the camera with his hand.

Patient 4479: Did I ever tell you about the time Larry Gordon dropped dead in the ring? Things were so bad around here he had to stage a heart attack just to get away…

[ Static again. ]

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

J.T. Whiplash defeats Gabe Shelley in a slobber knocker!
Marvin Wood defeats Vic Wagner and does the Victory Dance!
The Phoenix defeats Vincent Black and as a result there’s a fucking a riot. A RIOT!

*****When It Rains, It Pours*****

As the show opens up, we find a camera aiming at one of the locker room doors. The locker room displaying a name tag of a female nurse from a hospital.

The camera then turns and walks slowly down the hallway, revealing more cards from the same hospital with blood smudges on them.

Mikey Massacre: There appears to be dozens of these all over the place backstage. On the doors of the superstars locker room doors, the floor and…

The camera cuts to the arena, where we can see more cards falling from the ceiling.

Mikey Massacre: What the hell is going on here? Let me see if I can get one of these.

Mikey grabs and shows the camera what appears to be a driver’s license.

Mikey Massacre: I’ve no idea what any of this means but they are pouring from the ceiling like confetti. — What a strange way to open the show here tonight.

Linzi Martin: Spooky!

*****Pucker You Fucker*****

As we come back from commercial we see Simon Kalis standing in the center of the ring, a microphone in hand; but we hear Mikey Massacre speaking at the Announcers’ table.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t believe he’ll do it.

Linzi Martin: It’ll be hot when he does.

Simon clears his throat as he brings the mic up to his mouth.

Simon Kalis: Bubba J you fat ass retarded inbred son of a bitch!… Its time for you to kiss my black ass!

The fans are buzzing as they look around for Bubba J to come out, after all they know he’s here with Vincent Black as they have a chance to win the Rebel Pro Tag Team titles later tonight.

Simon Kalis: Come on Bubba J, or do I need to speak slower so that you can understand me?

V/O: Nah, that’s alright Simon, I understand you just fine.

The Rebel-tron lights up as Bubba J is on the large screen with his locker behind him.

Bubba J: But what I am curious about is the fact why in the hell you want me out there to kiss your black ass.

Simon smirks and speaks.

Simon Kalis: Because you lost fair and square last week and you knew the stipulation going in.

Bubba J smiles as he nods and sucks his teeth in thought.

Bubba J: Yeah, I had nearly forgot the screwjob you pulled, smart Simon, really smart.

He winks at Simon in the ring.

Bubba J: However, I’ve already performed that particular stipulation’s action.

Simon shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: You can lie to these people all you want, but your lips were never on my black ass you inbred redneck.

Bubba J smiles again.

Bubba J: I never said that I kissed your black ass, nor did the stipulation indicate that I had to kiss your particular black ass.; all i…

Simon Kalis: The stipulation was for you to kiss Simon Kalis’ black ass Bubba J and you know it!

Bubba J nods in agreement.

Bubba J: True and don’t ever interupt me again, and for once we actually agree. However, let me show you a bit of footage recorded from the newly reopened Hardcore Drinking… thanks by the way to your substantial cash addition(he laughs) we were able to put in a very delux game room and be sure to go by there after the show for 2 for 1 drink specials.

Bubba J smiles down at Simon.

Bubba J: Now, roll that footage, if you please.

The Rebel-tron slowly dissolves into a room, we now know to be in Hardcore Drinking, where Bubba J is on his knees behind this very lovely and highly attractive black female. The camera pans her up and down showing all of her lovely and barely concealed curves, to focus in on her hunter green thong. J smiles up at the camera before indicating for it to try and get them in the shot together.

Bubba J: So hun, what is your name again?

The girl giggles, making sure to shake what her mama gave her.

Woman: Simon Kalis(pronounced Seymoune Kahlees) and you sir have to kiss my black ass.

J smirks at the camera.

Bubba J: With pleasure Simon, with pleasure.

The camera focuses in on her ass, making sure to blur out what very personal area isn’t covered by the skimpy thong. Bubba J’s lips are planted on her ass as the screen freezes and slowly dissolving back into the live building and shot of him in his locker room.

Bubba J: There ya go, already done and done.

Simon stands there furious, but Bubba J isn’t finished.

Bubba J: Oh and one last thing… fuck you Simon.

The scene fades into nothing as Simon stares at the tron and J’s laughter is heard coming from the speakers.

*****CONSPIRACY Rematch Match!*****
*****Legion versus Justin Case*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first!

The lights in the arena go to black and the heavy bass of ‘Inside’ by NiN kicks in over the sound system. Rising from a hole set in the middle of the stage is Legion, a backlight showing only his silhouette. The arena lights come back up and Legion is joined on stage by members of his congregation and they all make their way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: HE… IS…. LEGION!!!

Legion enters the ring and looks out at the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent! Accompanied to the ring by Hugh Aredone!

” Victory ” by P Diddy and company hits the P.A. Out comes ” The Millennium Game ” Justin Case! He stands at the entrance way, with his manager behind him, as pyro shoots on either side while he raises his oh so talented arms in the very talented air! Case struts down the ramp as Hugh Aredone limpingly lingers behind. He struts to the squared circle with a cockily arrogance that only he can endeavor. Once from inside the ring, he steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd on hand. Whether they like him or not, it does not matter. His manager hits his cane on the apron showing his approval. Jumping off the ropes he prepares for the match pulling on the upper rope as his music ends.

Jenny Jersey: HE IS… THE MILLENNIUM GAME… JUSTIN CASE!!!!

DING DING DING

Case rushes at Legion and spears him into the ropes, but Legion wraps his arm around Case’s head and spins around, DDTing him into the canvas hard. Case rolls away and gets to his feet. Case hops up onto the top turnbuckle and flies off with a missile dropkick, catching Legion square in the face and sending Legion into the corner. Case climbs the turnbuckles, mounting Legion as he begins wailing on him with lefts and rights. One of Legions priests hops up onto the apron and swings his oak staff, the steel skull at the tip bashing Justin Case upside the face. Case falls onto the canvas hard as Legion grabs the staff and moves towards him.

Mikey Massacre: Case using his speed advantage on Legion for the time being, but I think that’s about to change.

Linzi Martin: Case was the first man to defeat the juggernaut that is Legion, will he manage to do it a second time?

Case looks up and puts his hands up to cover his face as Legion swings the staff at his head. Legion changes the direction of the swing at the last second, bringing the skull tip down into Justin’s chest. He begins wailing on Case all over Case’s body, his chest, his ribs and his head until he snaps the staff in half over Cases back as Case crawls away. Case rolls out of the ring and Hugh Aredone walks over to check up on him. Legions priests begins encircling them, but Hugh Aredone stands his ground by shaking his diamond willow cane at them. Case gets to his feet and grabs the cane from Hugh and quickly rolls back into the ring.

Linzi Martin: The equalizer!

Legion rushes at Case who slides under Legion and cracks Legion in the back of his leg with the cane. Case pops up to his feet and cracks it over Legions face not once, not twice, but thrice! Legion stumbles but the powerhouse has yet to fall. Case springboards himself off the top rope and comes spinning around, cracking the cane into Legions throat with a touch of theatrics that the crowd loves. Case grabs Legion, belly to belly suplex! He covers!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Case gets violently thrown off of Legion as Legion immediately sits up, then getting back to his feet. Legion grabs Case from the back of his neck and lifts him right off the canvas with sheer power and strength, holding him up for the world to see. The cameras flash as Legion choke slams Justin Case face first into the canvas. Legion kicks him in the ribs repeatedly to roll Case over before covering.

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!

Legion gets to his feet and then grabs the diamond willow cane left in the ring by Case. As Case gets to his feet he, Legion breaks the cane in half over Justin Case’s face. Case begins bleeding as he stumbles around and he walks right into a big boot from Legion. Legion climbs up to the top turnbuckle and dives off with a head butt right into Justin Case’s heart! He covers him again.

1!

2!!

THR-KICK OUT! CASE KICKS OUT!

Mikey Massacre: Some serious back and forth here, folks.

Linzi Martin: These guys sure do put on an entertaining match when they meet!

Legion gets to his feet but Case kicks his knees out from behind him. Legion falls forward, right into the pure barbed wire that is the middle ropes of the REBEL Pro ring. His neck gets entangled in the barbed wire as Case quickly grabs his legs and locks in the sharpshooter! Case has the sharpshooter locked in! He pulls back and raises the pressure as the referee checks to see if Legion will give out. Legions neck is getting the barbed wire embedded deeper and deeper as Case moves back and forth, rocking himself to apply pressure on and off like a horrible violent tease on Legion.

Linzi Martin: Oh shit!

Mikey Massacre: Legions neck was cut by barbed wire last week, and now the middle ropes are the conduit to that happening all over again!

Linzi Martin: Five bucks says Legion taps.

Mikey Massacre: You’re on.

Case continues to apply tremendous pressure with the move, until two of Legions priests slide into the ring. Case lets go of the move to duck and roll out of the way of a chairshot. Case back to his feet, The Benchmark on one of the priests!!! The priest goes rolling out of the ring in pain, but the other one swings his chair at Case. Case ducks. Legion meanwhile gets himself untangled out of those dangerous barbed wire middle ropes.

Mikey Massacre: The REBEL Pro ring itself, is made to destroy you. You gotta love it!

Linzi Martin: Uh yeah!

Mikey Massacre: You owe me $5.

Linzi Martin: Fu.. Okay.

Case hits Just 2 Talented on the other priest, right into the steel chair! That priest is outta here! Case gets to his feet but Legion grabs onto him- Black Hole Slam! Legion covers!

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!

The crowd is going nuts as Case quickly gets to his feet, bounces off the ropes and comes with a flying shoulder block that takes Legion down! Case with a jackknife pinfall!

1!

2!!

THR-KICK OUT!

Out of the crowd, there comes a man with a lead pipe! He hops the barricade and bashes the pipe across the heads of the last priest who’s still standing. Legion sees him coming into the ring and pushes the referee in front of the pipe as this unknown man swings, cracking the pipe over the referees head. Both him and Justin Case begin attacking Legion full frontal as the referee remains down and out. He bashes Legion over the head in what seems like a million times over to get Legion down and out. Justin Case grabs Legion… JUST 2 TALENTED!!!! JUST 2 TALENTED ON LEGION!! Case covers!

….

….

THERE IS NO REFEREE!

Legion throws Justin Case off of himself and trips this mysterious man out of the ring. The referee is coming to, but Case grabs the lead pipe and swings at Legion. Legion ducks, kicks Case in the gut and hits ENTER BLACKNESS! Legions priests are all back on their feet and they swarm Case’s mystery buddy as Legion covers, the referee finally coming to.

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Legion rolls out of the ring and begins making his way backstage, his priests following him quickly as Case rolls out of the ring.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match…. LEGION!

Mikey Massacre: Legion redeems his first loss here in REBEL Pro, but who’s this guy with Case?

Linzi Martin: That’s a good question, I think we’re about to find out.

” TMG ” slides back into the ring as the two men meet eye to eye. Suddenly they smile as Justin motions for a mic. Is this the ” Plan ” that Case was talking about? ” The Millennium Game ” quiets the crowd as the two men stand in the ring side by side. Case puts the mic to his lips….

JC: Justin Case U didnt know, this was all part of the show! You see, this very talented man beside me has just demonstrated only a fraction of what is to come here in REBEL PRO WRESTLING! You can call this a meeting of the minds but I call it, genius!

Justin Case: You see, while Legion was finding new blood for his new Church Of Misery. While he was trying to torture a man not even remotely related to me, it was yours truly pulling the strings backstage in order to sign this guy right here to a long term contract! And while I wont get into the details just yet as to the full reasoning behind this new attraction. Yours truly can promise you all this. The tag team world of REBEL PRO WRESTLING is in for a long nastly ugly ride! The man to the right of me is a former MMA trained destroyer and World Champion. We trained together back in Canada, and for now that is all you need to know.

Justin Case: Oh, and one more thing. His name is ” Wreckless ” Rocky Logan and you can call us the new number one contenders to the REBEL PRO Tag Team Titles! Bitches beware because the ” Case Filed Rockets ” have come to play. And we are also here to stay!! One former MMA World Champ teaming with another former REBEL PRO World Champ equals COMPLETE DOMINATION!! Its d*cks before chicks, as we will rid this fed of all its female hoes! Just to replace them with 100 percent pure talented Gold. Soon to be the NEW REBEL PRO Tag Team Champions of the World!!

Justin Case: Thats not a threat, thats a promise!!

Case throws down the mic to some feedback as ” Troublesome ’96 ” by Tupac Shakur hits up on the P.A. The new tag team ” Case Filed Rockets ” exit the ring to the boos of the crowd and garbage being hucked in their direction as they proceed backstage.

*****Once You Go Black*****

Backstage we find Simon Kalis and Violet Harper chatting it up. Pretty casual.

SIMON KALIS: So… Violet.

VIOLET HARPER: Just stop.

SIMON KALIS: Don’t you want to go black and then have to make a difficult decision regarding whether or not you want to go back?

VIOLET HARPER: How do you know I already haven’t?

SIMON KALIS: You ever have a limp for a week?

VIOLET HARPER: No.

SIMON KALIS: Then you haven’t.

VIOLET HARPER: Disgusting.

Simon nods.

SIMON KALIS: It’s a black thing.

VIOLET HARPER: Emily Corlen doesn’t know shit when it comes to fire.

SIMON KALIS: Catfight?

VIOLET HARPER: Like burning down a ring is anything special. That’s child’s play.

Simon makes a gulping sound.

VIOLET HARPER: Didn’t you –

SIMON KALIS: Nevermind. Think you can do better than her?

VIOLET HARPER: Just wait and see, Mr. Kalis.

Violet turns around and heads toward her locker room and Kalis looks on with his menacing black guy stare, but he’s only thinking about her with her clothes off.

Simon Kalis: Call me Simon, sweety.

He laughs to himself and turns towards the curtains. Cut back to the ring.

*****The Championship Edition!*****

“Power” by Kanye West hits over the speakers and the crowd gets to their feet, giving out a mixed reaction.

Jenny Jersey: It’s my honour to introduce the acting President of REBEL Pro… He is also one half of the AoWF Tag Team Champions… “THE LAST SUPERSTAR” SIMON KALIS!!!!

Kalis walks out, fresh as ever, fly as fuck in an Armani suit. His suit jacket is unbuttoned, and under his suit jacket we see he‘s wearing the latest Violet Harper t-shirt. He waves to the fans as he makes his way to the ring before quickly climbing in and grabbing the microphone off Jersey.

Simon Kalis: HELLO MEMPHIS!

The crowd all cheers now, Simon is a wily bastard.

Simon Kalis: Forgetting everything that happened earlier tonight with Bubba J…

Bubba gets a rousing response from the crowd and Simon rolls his one good eye.

Simon Kalis: I just wanted to come out here to make a few announcements. Mostly too, I like taking up a lot of air time and it’s not my fault that everyone who works here wants a chance to get on TV with me, while I also get on TV by myself.

He shrugs.

Simon Kalis: What can I say? I’m awesome like this.

He winks.

Simon Kalis: Some people might think I’m fucking crazy for this, but… Well. Here’s the deal. REBEL Pro has a shot at the AoWF Intercontinental Championship next week.

The crowd cheers at this.

Simon Kalis: We need a representative. A man, or a woman… Who will ensure our victory against… Ugh.

He shudders.

Simon Kalis: The Phoenix.

The crowd BOOS incredibly loud and even starts a “PHOENIX SUCKS” chant.

Simon Kalis: Yes. He does fucking suck. He back talks this company, and our wrestlers at every turn and then comes here and half asses every fight. Fuck The Phoenix.

The crowd cheers this loudly.

Simon Kalis: The Phoenix wants to shit on REBEL Pro? Well, that’s why I’ve decided to send a true REBEL to hand him his ass to his fucking Yoohoo sucking face… And so. REBEL Pro is proud to announce, that our representative in the AoWF Intercontinental Championship match is… None other than… The biggest. Baddest motherfucker this side of the AoWF…

Simon pauses for dramatic effect.

Simon Kalis: FROM THE EXTREME ELITE….

Mikey Massacre: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!

Simon Kalis: VINCENT BLACK!!!!!

The crowd goes NUTS and is in complete and utter SHOCK.

Linzi Martin: After all the hate the Extreme Elite has shown Simon… He picks one of them?!?!? WHY???

Simon Kalis: You see. I put the interests of REBEL Pro before myself, and even though Vincent Black is a son of a bitch? He’s still OUR son of a bitch. So next week. WE INTRODUCE TO YOU! THE CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION OF REBEL Pro!

Kalis points to the backstage area.

Simon Kalis: Kill the Phoenix, Black. And if you fail, I’ll kill you.

Kalis drops the microphone and “Power” hits again, as Kalis is given cheers from the entire sold out crowd here in Memphis.

*****The Revenge of Starr*****

Suddenly, Kalis is stopped cold as the REBELtron flickers to life, Lucious Starr tsk-ing as he smiles.

Lucious Starr: Oh, my, Aaron. It’s happened again. It looks like you’ve left your precious protege in peril once again. Man, when the hell are you going to learn??

Lucious moves, allowing the camera to see Masakazu… who is chained to a car. As we zoom out just a bit, we see a car directly behind Starr.

Lucious Starr: Shit, man. I think Kaz was involved in a horrific car accident. I was listening to my police scanner, sounds like he wasn’t watching himself and tripped, fell right between two cars. Sad, really. But these things happen. I mean, at least they happen to you…

Lucious turns, ducking into the car. A door shuts, and the car takes off. Simon drops his mic and runs backstage, in hopes to save his son. The camera cuts back to the parking lot, where the car is bearing down on Kaz. Moments before the inevitable crash, Simon bursts through the door and throws something at the car… his barbed-wire wrapped crowbar. The driver’s side tire pops, and the car spins out of control as Simon jumps in front of his son. The car squeals to a stop, Simon looks up… and the rear bumper is less than an inch from his nose. The car speeds off, Simon kicking in its direction before turning to Masa.

Simon Kalis: What a fucking chav.

Masakazu shakes his head violently, Simon trying to get a hold of the duct tape holding his mouth shut. Just as it rips off, Kaz shouts.

Masakazu: IT’S A TRAP!

Simon is taken aback, looking up just in time… as Lucious rides by on his ducati, throwing a bike chain around Kalis’ neck. He drags Simon across the lot, releasing him to let him slam into a wall. Lucious dismounts his bike, walking over to Simon. Kalis grasps at his throat, starting to one knee. Lucious throws a boot to his face, sending him back to the ground.

Lucious Starr: Pathetic, Aaron. You’re fucking pathetic. I knew you’d run to Kaz, the same way you ran to Redeemer. You’re a little bitch, Aaron, and a predictable one at that.

Lucious pulls out a lead pipe, looking it over. He watches as Kalis gets to one knee, trying to regain his bearings. Lucious stands back, waiting…

Kalis stands, shaking off the sneak attack. He turns around… SMACK! Kalis falls back to the ground, Lucious dropping the lead pipe next to him. He gets down next to Simon, a grin on his face.

Lucious Starr: Let me tell you something, you self-absorbed piece of dog shit. You’re an idiot. A pathetic, worthless, self-loathing idiot. You want to be the man of the AoWF? You want to OWN the AoWF? That’s fine. But I own YOU, you worthless fucktwit. Manitoba Mayhem is your version of Engel’s Sizzler? No, no, no, old friend. It’s going to be Engel’s RPM.

Masakazu: You’re fucking dead, Starr.

Lucious looks over at Kaz, who is struggling to get out of the chains. He looks at Simon, annoyed.

Lucious Starr: Be right back.

Lucious stands, walking over to Kaz. Masa spits in Lucious’ face, the Fury wiping it off and rubbing it in Masa’s hair.

Lucious Starr: Now, I could fuck your day up just as bad as your retard father’s. But I’m going to assume that you’re still under some semi-self allowed psychic hold by your father. You stay the fuck out of mine and your father’s business, and I’ll leave you alone. Stick your nose back into it, and… well, I’ve seen your wife. And if your kid finds himself with a father, I’d be more than happy to tap your wife while raising your kid the RIGHT way…

Masakazu: YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!!

Lucious grins, standing up and walking back to Simon, who is still out from the pipe shot. He bends down, speaking to the elder Kalis.

Lucious Starr: Now, where was I? Oh, right. If you’re lucky, I’ll let you live through Manitoba Mayhem. But I guaran-damn-tee that you’ll be wishing you had all the mobility that Benji does. First, I’m going to beat you within an inch of your life. Then I’m going to cripple you.

Lucious stands, walking off, he turns back, flipping the bird.

Lucious Starr: THEN I’m going to fucking hurt you.

Lucious walks off, Masa yelling for help as he watches his father, who remains limp on the floor.

*****Violet Harper versus Lucious Starr*****

“Fuck You” by Cee Lo Green hits the sound system as Lucious Starr comes out from backstage to roaring jeers from the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first, from Cleveland, Ohio…

Starr makes his way down to the ring, ignoring the stupid Rebel fans.

Jenny Jersey: He stands 6’3″ and weighs in tonight at 253 pounds… HE IS LUCIOUS STARR!

Starr enters the ring and makes his way to his corner, getting ready for the match.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent, from Portsmouth, New Hampshire…

“Gasoline” by Audioslave revs up as the crowd gets on their feet. Violet Harper emerges from backstage with the Aggression Title over her shoulder, raising her right arm in the air as the crowd cheers for her.

Jenny Jersey: She stands 5’8″ and weighs in tonight at 139 pounds…

Violet calmly makes her way down to the ring, smiling to the fans and giving a few of them high fives in the front row. She climbs up the steps and into the ring.

Jenny Jersey: She is the current Rebel Pro Aggression Champion… VIOLET… HARPER!!!

She raises the title high into the air as the crowd pops again. She hands the title off to the referee, who hands it to the timekeeper. The bell sounds.

DING DING!

Harper and Starr circle each other in the ring. Harper starts off with a few stiff kicks to Starr’s leg and then goes against the rope. She tries for a running enziguri but Starr ducks and Violet crashes to the mat. Starr takes Violet down with a german suplex. Another german suplex. The third lands Violet into the turnbuckles, pretty harsh. Starr hip tosses Harper to the mat and then goes against the rope – knee drop to the throat of Harper. Starr makes a cover.

1..

2..

Kick out!

The crowd boo’s Starr for trying to end the match too quickly.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Lucious Starr is getting no love here tonight.

LINZI MARTIN: And why should he? He’s been nothing but trouble.

Starr brings Violet to her feet and whips her into the ropes. Harper runs back and Starr executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker with ease. Then Starr climbs to the top rope showing his agility, landing a shooting star leg drop on Violet. Another cover.

1..

2..

Kick out!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Violet is showing her resiliency, but Starr is starting off impressive.

LINZI MARTIN: No doubt he’s the more experienced of the two, but Violet is a tough chick!

Starr gets up to his feet as does Violet. Starr lands a few chops on Violet’s chest and then gives her a thrust kick to the chest sending her into the turnbuckles. Starr goes for a corner splash but Violet moves out of the way just in time. Violet connects with a roundhouse kick to the back of Starr’s head! Violet slams Starr face-first into the turnbuckle, and another for good measure. Violet sends Starr into the ropes. Starr counters with an attempted lariat off the ropes but Violet does the splits and ducks right underneath it, bouncing back up with a jumping side kick catching Starr right in the jaw and putting him against the ropes. Violet runs and leaps, hitting a cross body on Starr as they both go over the top rope and splash to the outside!

MIKEY MASSACRE: It’s about to get interesting Linzi. We’re gonna see how tough Lucious Starr really is. This ain’t P dubya A!

LINZI MARTIN: No it ain’t Mikey!

Starr gets to his feet and gives Violet a kick to the gut. Starr throws Violet into the barricade. He does it again and then he throws her into the steel steps. Violet gets to her feet and ducks a punch from Starr, slamming her knee into his gut and then slams Starr’s face into the steel steps! Violet leaps off the steel steps with an enziguri and connects! Starr falls on his back from the impact. Violet gets to her feet, bringing Starr up to her feet as the Rebel Pro crowd is going crazy. The referee is just watching because count outs are for pussies. Violet springboards off the barricade and connects with another kick to the back of Starr’s head. Violet then slams Starr face-first onto the apron and whips him toward the ringpost – he connects face-first!

Linzi Martin: YEAH! Girl power!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Violet is really taking it to Starr outside the ring.

Violet closes in on Starr but Starr gives her a kick to the gut and then quickly delivers a running powerbomb right onto the arena floor! Violet looks devastated from the impact and Starr gets to his feet, running Violet into the ring. Starr makes the cover!

1..

2..

KICK OUT!!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Another close one as Starr makes a third pinfall attempt, but unable to put our Aggression Champion away.

LINZI MARTIN: She’s tough, but Starr seems to be wearing her down.

Violet is clutching at her back and Starr brings her to her feet. He whips her to the ropes and she smashes into the turnbuckles. Starr puts her on the top rope. Starr is going for the Grim Reaper, his signature sit-out powerbomb from the top rope, but Harper counters with a hurricanrana sending Starr from the top rope crashing down to the mat!

MIKEY MASSACRE: What a reversal by Violet Harper! She did her homework!

LINZI MARTIN: She’s awesome!

MIKEY MASSACRE: You gonna marry her? She lives close enough to Massachusetts.

LINZI MARTIN: No! I just think she’s great!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Uh huh, so THAT’S why you don’t so close to me.

LINZI MARTIN: Yeah, Mikey, clearly that’s the only reason why.

Violet is getting to her feet as is Starr. Violet ducks a clothesline from Starr and gets met with a spinning backfist from Violet. Violet returns a few knife-edge chops on Starr and then kicks him in the gut, taking him down with a swinging neckbreaker. Violet hops onto the top rope, springboarding off with an Asai moonsault and connecting right on Starr! She covers him quickly.

1..

2..

KICK OUT!

LINZI MARTIN: And Violet finally makes an attempt to win the match, but Starr kicks out just after the two.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Starr was dominating the first part of the match but Violet is coming back.

Starr gets up to his feet with the ropes and gives a charging Violet a kick to the ribs. Starr uppercuts her with his right knee and then takes her down with a brainbuster suplex! Starr doesn’t go for the pin, but brings Violet back up to her feet and slams his fist into her pretty face several times, then throwing her into the corner. Starr lays into her with lefts and rights, connecting in her stomach and on her face. Violet gets busted open at the nose, blood pouring out from her right nostril.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And she’s cut! Violet’s cut!

LINZI MARTIN: Come on Violet! You can do it girl!

Starr takes her down with a double underhook suplex. Starr goes for a pin.

1..

2..

KICK OUT!!

Starr shakes his head.

LUCIOUS STARR: COME ON! GIVE UP!

Starr brings her up to her feet. Starr tries for the Hell’s Wrath but Violet slips out of the suplex and lands behind Starr. Violet delivers a bicycle kick right to Starr’s chest, knocking him over the top rope! Unbelievable strength from the Aggression Champion!

MIKEY MASSACRE: The crowd is going crazy here!

Starr is getting to his feet but Violet leaps over the top rope with hang time and connects with a cross body on Starr! Violet gets up to her feet and gives Starr repeated kicks to the ribs and even lands one in the groin area, much to the referee’s dismay. But this is Rebel, and if dudes can get an M-80 to the balls, they can get a girl’s boot to the balls. Violet begins to destroy Starr on the outside with kicks and punches and then finishes Starr off with a kick to the head that smashes Starr’s head against the ringpost! Starr falls to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Violet reaches for something underneath the ring! It’s a fire extinguisher!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Here we go! This is why Rebel loves her! She knows how to get crazy!

LINZI MARTIN: Wait..is she?

Yes she is. Violet hands Linzi the fire extinguisher.

Violet Harper: You’ll know when to use it!

She gives Linzi a wink. Linzi likes it.

MIKEY MASSACRE: You guys should totally be in this film I’m shooting…

LINZI MARTIN: Shut up Mikey!

Violet goes back to Starr and gives him a running kick to the face. Violet grabs one more thing from underneath the ring – a container of lighter fluid. Uh..oh. Violet pours the lighter fluid all over the announcer’s table!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh crap! She’s pouring the rest on herself! What the fuck is she doing?!

LINZI MARTIN: I.. I don’t know! This is insanity!

Violet grabs Starr who gives Violet a elbow to the gut. Starr shoves Violet away, trying to regain himself, but Violet connects with a dropkick on Starr laying him across the announcer’s table! It’s almost perfect! Violet has a crazy look in her eyes and she walks over to Starr, while waving away MIKEY MASSACRE and LINZI MARTIN. She gives Starr…a kiss on the forehead?

LINZI MARTIN: This is bizarre.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Jealous?

Linzi isn’t amused, and Violet is back in the ring. She climbs to the top rope…and Starr is managing to get to his feet on the announcer’s table. Violet pulls out a lighter.

MIKEY MASSACRE: SHE’S GONNA BLOW US UP!

But Violet does the unthinkable. She lights her clothes on fire! The crowd is eating this shit up! THEY’RE GOING CRAZY! VIOLET IS GOING CRAZY! WHAT THE HELL! VIOLET LEAPS OFF THE TOP ROPE AND CONNECTS WITH THE PURPLE HAZE ON STARR THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE, ENGULFING THEM BOTH IN FLAMES AS THEY BLOW THE TABLE UP!

LINZI MARTIN: OH FU—

She doesn’t even finish her curse. She sprays them both immediately with the fire extinguisher. Amazing, Violet finds the strength to roll Starr over and drape an arm over him. The referee is shocked, but habitually drops to the ground.

1…

2…

3!!!

DING DING DING!!!

JENNY JERSEY: Your winner of the match by pinfall… VIOLET… HARPER!!!!

The crowd is silent for a moment, waiting for a signal from Violet. Anything. To let them know their champion is okay. Violet is struggling to get to her feet… and she looks a little on the well-done side. Her hair is all messed up and burnt. Her clothes are nearly burnt off leaving her sexy lingerie pretty much hanging out there for everyone to see. Who wrestles in that? She seems to have some burns on her arms…but…she’s conscious…and it’s amazing. Starr however, is not.

MIKEY MASSACRE: THAT WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!

LINZI MARTIN: I LOVE YOU VIOLET!

MIKEY MASSACRE: I knew it!

Violet wobbles and slides into the ring…the referee slides with her and throws a blanket that just happened to be handy over her. Her hand gets raised as “Gasoline” blares loudly, but not as loud as the crowd cheering her on. Violet asks for a mic.

VIOLET: That was for you, Rebel! I just wanted you to know…I… fuck me. That was crazy. What I’m trying to say is that I’m willing to do anything to show the rest of the community that Rebel Pro is number one!

The crowd pops harder than a teenage zit. But Violet isn’t done.

VIOLET: And that was also for you, Emily. THAT’S HOW YOU BLOW SHIT UP!

The crowd cheers her on more, as she gives a crazy smile, trying to fix her messed up burnt hair. Nothing she’s doing is working to fix that problem.

VIOLET: Any moron with a pack of matches can burn down a ring, no offense Simon. Takes balls of steel to do what I just did. Let’s see you top that, Big Bird.

Harper tosses the mic as the crowd cheers her on again. She slowly climbs out of the ring as Starr is finally getting up to his feet, not knowing what the fuck happened.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And Violet does it again, beating PWA Tag Team Champion and all-around douchebag extraordinaire Lucious Starr. Can anyone stop her?

LINZI MARTIN: I.. I love her.

MIKEY MASSACRE: That’ll do, Linzi.

*****A Beautiful Teaser*****

We come back from commercial and we’re set for the next match but the lights go out. A long pink light shines on the stage as the big screen starts to flash numbers across. ’8. 22. 11.’ and then the words “Life is full of beauty. Notice it, next week.”

*****REBEL Pro World Tag Team Championship Match*****
*****Hardcore Entertainment versus Lisa Seldon & Emily Corlen©*****

Outside Lisa is whipped to the rail but manages to catch it under her feet, stepping up and then flipping herself into a backflip over Bubba’s head. He turns around and walks into a kick in the gut, followed by one under the chin and then a Legsweep to drop him to the ground. Bubba sits up and sees Lisa’s foot coming right at his head as she puts it on his face, pushes forward and shatters his head off the concrete floor. Inside the ring Emily has black off the mat and in the corner, where she lights him up with lefts and rights. She then grabs an arm and wings him to the opposite corner, letting him before charging across, only to run straight into a Big Boot. Emily staggers back and Black runs her down with a Lariat, whipping her right down into the canvas.

Lisa gets Bubba up and flattens his chest with a Push Kick, sending him into the rail. Lisa then tries to charge him down with a Roundhouse but he catches her leg, turns and swings her like a Baseball bat into and over the rail. Meanwhile Black puts Emily down with a Bodyslam, hits the ropes and comes down on top of her with a big Legdrop. He then swings over into the cover.

1

2

Emily kicks and Black slides off her. Meanwhile Bubba is outside the ring gathering the good from under the ring, and slides a few of the more choice items in. Black starts with a bat in barbedwire, twirling in his hand as he makes his way back to Emily. She gets up to all fours and Black drops on top of her, straddling her back and digging the barbs into her skull. Outside Bubba gets on a run, steps off a chair and throws himself into what would best be described as a Suicide Dive.

Bubba and Lisa collide and skid through a sea of chairs. Bubba comes down on top of her but Lisa flips him off and the two scramble back to their feet, with Lisa coming up and winging a chair at Bubba that bends around his head. He shrugs it off though and catches another one coming from Lisa in a high arc. Lisa tries to pull it back but Bubba snaps to the side, sending her to the floor and giving him the weapon to bring down on top of her gut. He then swings for a second but Lisa kicks it back and sends him away. She then scrambles to her feet and waits for him to go again, allowing her to get a foot up and smash their chair back into his face. It wobbles him again and she takes off at him in a run, but Bubba absorbs the blow, turns and hurls her through a mess of chairs that break beneath her. He then wades in after. Back in the ring Vincent has Emily on her back.

Black comes up with the bat and brings it down over her face, only for her to roll out of the way and let it stick to the mat. He has trouble pulling it free, allowing Emily to get to her feet and catch him with a Toe Kick up under the jaw to send him away. She then grabs the first thing at hand, which happens to be a large metallic bin, and sticks it over his head. Vincent tries to get it off but finds it stuck, allowing Emily to tear the bat free and smash it into the bin, denting it back into his face. Black goes down and Emily goes off on him, bringing it down over and over again with shots about his body and head. She then tosses the bat aside and hits the ropes, firing herself back into a Senton on top of him.

In the crowd Bubba extracts Lisa from a mess of chairs and gives her a stiff right hand that sends her to the rail. A gob of blood and spit flies from her lips, but she keeps it together and gets her legs up as he comes in, wrapping them around his head and trapping his arm in a Triangle before falling back over the rail. Bubba tries to fight her off but Lisa wraps her hands around the back of his head and squeezes his throat into the rail. Back in the ring, Emily gets Vincent up and into a Snap Suplex that brings him down into a barbedwire board, the strands tangling and biting into them as he tries to fight his way out. He doesn’t get far though as Emily grabs another one and drops it on top of him, wire side down. Emily then preps him with a few stomps before taking to the ropes, raising her hands and then coming off the second with a Double Stomp, cracking the top board under the impact and twisting a mess of wire into his skin.

Emily rolls through to her feet and turns back to Black (lol), tearing off the top board and taking several bits of him with it before she sinks into the pin.

1

2

Vincent kicks, the wire biting into him again as he pulls himself free of the pin. Outside the ring Lisa finally lets go her hold and drops to the mats. Bubba hangs over the rail slipping in and out of consciousness while Lisa makes her way back to the ring.

Emily pulls Black free and pushes him toward Lisa, who catches his head, pulls him down and rips through his face with a knee. This snaps black up and allows Lisa to send him stumbling back with a Push Kick, right into the hands of Emily who locks around his waist, leans back and buries him with a German Suplex. The force however stops her holding the bridge, forcing her to turn over into the pin. Lisa keeps guard.

1

2

Black kicks again and Emily clambers to her knees, a little perturbed as she wipes away the blood dripping down her forehead. She keeps her resolve though and lifts him up while Lisa takes off to the apron. Emily gets behind Black and turns him toward Lisa, who jumps up with an attempted Springboard, only to be caught by Bubba and pulled down, cracking her jaw off the apron. Emily is momentarily taken back, allowing Black to reach back and crack her with an Elbow. He then moves in behind her and secures a standing Rear Naked Choke, giving Bubba time to slip into the ring. Once he does, black drops the hold and kicks Emily forward to Bubba, who cracks her wide open with a huge Roundhouse Swing of a chair.

Emily goes to fall but Black catches her around the waist and drops her to the floor. He then grabs her legs for a Wheelbarrow and lifts, sending her to Bubba who flips her off, turns and then jacks her jaw with the Trailer Park Trash.

Black then grabs the cover.

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2

Lisa slides in at the last second, slipping through Bubba’s legs and managing to tag Black with an Elbow to break the cover. Bubba sets on her immediately and turns to give her the bum’s rush out of the ring, but Lisa turns it around and sends him in his place. Bubba only goes as far as the apron though, unbeknownst to Lisa who goes after Black with a Punt Kick to the head as he was still hanging over Emily. Lisa then lets him get up before she tags him with a few lefts and rights, ending with a Rolling Solebut before she hits the ropes, only to run into a big right hand from Bubba that leaves her wobbled. Black steps in and catches her stumbling back with a Northern Lariat, putting her on the canvas. Emily meanwhile rolls under the ropes to recover.

Black and Bubba lift Lisa off the mat by her arms and whip her into the corner. Bubba then whips Black after her sending him in with a Big Boot that misses the mark and leaves him straddled on the top-rope. Bubba then comes next and Lisa passes him by, letting him collide with his partner as she makes for the opposite corner, steps off and then charges back at a run that allows her to run up Bubba and step off him with a Tiger Wall Flip.

Lisa lands on a knee and Bubba runs forward to grab her, only for Lisa to roll through, leap from the mat and land feet first on Vincent Black to take him over with a Monkey Flip. Black rolls away and begins to get to his feet as Bubba comes at Lisa again, only to be caught hand in hand in a single Knuckle Lock. He swipes at her with his free hand but Lisa steps under, brings up her leg and cracks him around the side of her head, leaving her wobbled long enough for Lisa to take a run up the corner. Black gets into position and Lisa leaps off, wrapping her ankles around his head and twisting down to send them both across the mat with a Lucha Roll.

Lisa gets to her feet and spies Bubba in the corner. She then charges him down with a Yakuza Kick, snapping his head back and sending the spit flying, but Bubba manages to hold onto her leg, allowing Black to rush up from behind and crack her across the back of the head with a Double Axe-Handle Smash. Lisa’s head goes fuzzy and Bubba uses the moment to pick her up, using his under leg hook to bring her off the mat and smash her into the canvas with a Modified Powerbomb. Bubba and Black then go looking for props.

Bubba secures two chairs while Black gathers up a mess of light tubes all bundled together with electrical tape. The fans let out a cheer.

Bubba sets up the chairs seat to seat and Black bridges them with the tubes before the two set back on Lisa. Bubba pulls her up by the head and gets socked in the gut for his troubles, but he follows up by burying a knee in her gut and then tossing her to Black. The two then lift her end to end; Bubba securing a Wheelbarrow as Black puts his hands up under her shoulders. The two then lift, pushing her straight into the air and off to the side, putting her high into the lights and giving her a few seconds to think about it before she plummets back down.

Lisa hits and the glass explodes, sending shards and gas spewing up like a volcano. Lisa bounces from the mat and staggers out on pure instinct, right into Black who floors her with a Big Boot. He then sinks down for the cover.

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2

And this time its Lisa’s turn to kick out, her shoulder shooting off the mat as she turns to her front. Black shakes his head but comes up after her, latching his hand into her hair and easily pulling her off the mat. He then buries a big Uppercut into her gut with enough force to lift her from the mat before he turns around and sends her to Bubba, who comes up with a barbedwire chair and brings it down on the top of her head with a crack that resounds through the arena. Lisa rocks and then drops to her knees. A single drop of blood slowly weeps down her forehead.

Unperturbed, Bubba lifts Lisa up by the hair, her already bright red locks slowly beginning thickening as a cut forms on the top of her head. Bubba then pitches her to the corner and rams the chair edge first into her gut to double her over. Bubba then jumps out of the way as Black comes in with a Boot, crushing her head against the buckle, before stepping back and allowing her to hang out over the chair. She doesn’t get long to rest though as Black kicks out the chair, letting her fall to the mat before he drags her out and into the cover.

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2

Once more she kicks, much to the shock of Hardcore Entertainment. Black gets her p though and sends her back to the corner where he grinds her face beneath a boot. Bubba meanwhile lets her go and turns his attention to a sheet of glass that causes the fans to rise.

It’s a bit of a struggle but Black eventually manages to get the sheet of glass up and leaned against the second turnbuckle. Bubba then signals to Black. Vincent then pulls Lisa out of the corner and sets her up between his legs for a Powerbomb. He then points down to the glass.

Black rips Lisa off the mat and onto his shoulders, but Lisa fights back by digging the point of her elbow into the top of his head to break his grip. She then drops off behind him and rolls through a Clothesline attempt from Bubba. Lisa then winds up in the ropes and uses them to get her feet. She then drops down with the top one in her hands, low bridging Black to the outside. Bubba tries next and runs into a kick that he just manages to catch and toss back. Lisa tries to flip through but her foot catches the ropes, causing her to drop straight down and crack her head off the mat.

Black slides back under the ropes and joins Bubba dropping stops on Lisa’s back. He then gets Lisa up in the Wheelbarrow and turns her toward Bubba but she immediately shoots a blast of green mist into his eyes to send him back. Lisa then throws herself forward and grabs Black’s legs for a Victory Roll, sending him into Bubba and leaving them in a heap. Lisa jumps up as Bubba sinks to a knee and Vincent drops to all fours, giving Lisa the perfect platform to run up and smash Bubba with a Shining Wizard.

Bubba goes down and Lisa snatches up Black, catching him in a clinch and then brutalising him with knees to the head that he struggles to shake off. Lisa hits four and then leans back into a fifth, bringing it up and through his face, opening up a gash that sprays blood across the ring as his

head snaps back. Black then falls into the corner and Lisa charges forth with a Kick straight up through his jaw. Black sinks to the corner and Lisa goes wild with kicks, holding the ropes for support as she fires into shots to his face again and again. Bubba tries to get back into it but Emily pulls him to the outside, leaving Lisa to fire of feral shots anywhere she can get space.

Lisa finally lets him up and rattles him with two shots before turning with a Spinning Back Elbow that tears through the side of his head. Black goes fuzzy for a moment but shakes it off, allowing him to grab the back of her head and pull down, smashing it off the canvas. Black then drops to a knee over her, but keeps himself together and comes back up with Lisa between his hands. He then bounces her off the ropes and draws her back in to a series of body blows that send her left and right before one crumples her to the mat. Black then leans in and buries a knee into her face.

Bubba holds Emily back as Black moves in for the kill, but Lisa shakes her head no and comes up with a Roaring Elbow as Black tries to lift her. Lisa then rushes forward, cracking him first with a Spinning Backfist that brings

him down to a knee. Lisa then thumps both fists to the mat, comes up and buries a Buzzsaw Kick deep through the side of his skull.

Black teeters forward and face plants into the mat. Lisa then rolls him for the cover.

1

Outside the ring Emily tries to hold Bubba back but he throws her into the rail…

2

He slides in…

… and just breaks the count of three.

Emily ruses in and pulls bubba down by the leg, allowing Lisa to catch him with a kick. Emily then picks him up off the mat and Lisa tags him with a Spinning Back Kick that turns him back toward Emily who thumps him with the Skullcracker. Lisa then charges forward with a Flying Knee, crashing into Bubba and sending the two of them over the ropes.

Lisa and Bubba get back to the fun of tossing chairs at each other and fighting out into the crowd, leaving Emily to clean up. She begins by pulling Black off the mat and throwing him to the ropes and then catching him on the return, dragging him up into her arms and whirling around before she buries him with the Spiral Twister. She then leans back to hook the leg.

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And he throws up a shoulder, much to Emily’s chagrin.

Emily picks him up again and her eyes turn toward the sheet of glass. Emily then grabs Black from behind, hooking both his arms behind him and preparing to lift him up but Black kicks his legs and keeps himself grounded. Emily tries again but Black leans toward to take her off balance and then throws his head back, cracking her in the face.

The two stagger but Black keeps himself standing and drops Emily with a kick. He then grabs her up pulls her into the air for a Powerbomb but Emily fights back with a series of punches. Black whoever keeps his head clear, turns her toward the glass and then hammers her down with the New Hope, ripping her through the glass that shatters up and rips through her skin.

Emily splinters against the mat and Black leans in over the top of her.

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3!

DNG DING DING

*****The Confederate Copperhead*****

“Born This Way” by Lada GaGa hits as Jeremy Gold steps out to quite a few cheers from the crowd. He makes his way to the ring and slides in, grabbing a microphone.

Jeremy Gold: As you all saw earlier tonight, a terrible, terrible thing happened.

Once again, as on the pay-per-view, and last week’s Aggression taping, the lights go out again as the fans start buzzing in anticipation with Jeremy Gold in the ring. We can hear him shivering with fear as he drops his microphone and it thumps on the canvas.

Mikey Massacre: I really hope we don’t see any more snakes tonight…

Linzi Martin: I just hope this isn’t what I think it is.

While the lights are out, the bag-pipe solo at the start of “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play over the P.A. system as the fans keep buzzing in anticipation. Suddenly, the lights come back on and we hear “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd playing over the P.A. system as the fans just erupt in cheers upon hearing that familiar music as Jeremy Gold is shaking his head in fear.

Mikey Massacre: Could it be who I think it is?

Linzi Martin: Nothing like Lynyrd Skynyrd to get all the hicks excited…

Just then, we see a black and gold 1984 Buick Grand National head down the ramp with a Rebel flag on the antenna. When it comes to a stop and the door opens, we see a man in a straw cowboy hat with a Johnny Cash T-shirt with the image of Cash giving the camera the middle finger and acid-wash jeans with cowboy boots. When he removes his hat and lifts his head up, we see that it’s none other than “The Confederate Copperhead” J.T. Whiplash as the fans just erupt into a loud ovation in the heart of “Whiplash Country”.

Mikey Massacre: HE’S BACK! I can’t believe it! J.T, Whiplash has returned home like a modern day prodigal son!

Linzi Martin: What is HE doing here? Get him out of here!

Whiplash takes a moment to soak in the ovation with tears in his eyes and a smile before he pulls himself together and tags hands with a few fans on his way to ring-side. Jeremy Gold is shaking his head in fear as Whiplash looks out at Gold with a devilish grin. Gold then takes a microphone and irately addresses Whiplash.

Jeremy Gold: NO! NO! NO! YOU are NOT welcome here! Get him out of here… SECURITY! Get him out of here!

Whiplash looks at Gold in a perturbed manner before he kicks him between the legs and hoists him up for a piledriver before dropping him on his head, knocking him out cold as Whiplash gets up and pounds his chest to another ovation.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t think Jeremy Gold is going to be feeling so eccentric after getting dropped on his head like that!

Linzi Martin: What a blatant show of disrespect by J.T. Whiplash! If he treats authority figures this way, how will he treat the rest of the roster?

J.T. then grabs Jeremy Gold by the neck-tie and screams loudly in his face.

J.T. Whiplash: THIS. IS. MY. HOUSE! YA UNDERSTAND ME, SON? MY HOUSE! NOW GIT OUTTA MY DAMN RING!

At that moment, J.T. throws a lifeless Jeremy Gold over the top rope as the fans chant “WEL-COME HOME! WEL-COME HOME!” J.T. smiles upon hearing this as he takes the microphone and begins to speak.

J.T. Whiplash: As ol’ Dorothy said in th’ “Wizard Of Oz”… there’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! There’s. NO. PLACE… like HOME! An’ J.T. Whiplash is here, live an’ in livin’ color on yer television sets once again makin’ more returns than a Larry Gordon check!

The fans erupt upon hearing this as Whiplash continues.

J.T. Whiplash: Welp, now that we got that mushy stuff outta th’ way… let’s git down to bid-ness! First of all, I stand here today a bit humbled by this reception y’all have a-given me here in my stompin’ grounds of good ol’ Rocky Top… WOOOO!!!… Rocky Top, Tennessee!

As the fans cheer for the reference of the Tennessee Volunteers, J.T. holds his hand up and starts to speak.

J.T. Whiplash: I wanna take this opportunity to tell y’all here in th’ audience, all of y’all in the back, an’ all th’ staff that I am sorry for a-lettin’ y’all down like I have. I don’t deny I got a truckload of demons an’ I ain’t always been th’ best at a-managin’ ‘em. It’s come back to bite me a few times here. Yeah, I know I’m a total screw-up… I’ve pissed away a lotta opportunities in my life. Well, boys an’ girls, startin’ today… I ain’t a-gonna piss away no more opportunities! It’s time fer me to be th’ leader here I know I’m capable of a-bein’. I know damn well I ain’t gotta lotta time left here in this bid-ness, or hell… maybe even my life! I’m 51 years old and have abused th’ hell outta myself fer years an’ I KNOW I’m on borrowed time. But I’m a-bound an’ determined to have one last good run left in me!

The fans cheer loudly upon hearing this as Whiplash continues.

J.T. Whiplash: Now… let’s git down to a-talkin’ ‘bout good ol’ Bubba J! Now Bubba… ya had some purty strong words to say ‘bout me an’ I got every right to possum-stomp yer fat, bald ass so hard that yer grand-kids would be born unconscious! But… ya wanna know where I stand? Brother… I’m ALL REBEL, baby! I’m a-gonna bleed buckets of blood, cash my checks, snap some necks, cracks some backs, and make some livers quiver as I rearrange yer faces with style an’ grace! An’ if ya don’t dig this mess, then yer at th’ wrong address! Ya seem to be a-fergettin’ that I’m th’ original show-stoppin’, pill-poppin’, hell-raisin’, skirt-chasin’, quick-thinkin’, liquor-drinkin’, pulse-poundin’, heart-racer, th’ scarred face hit-maker, th’ record-breaker, th’ innovator, th’ motivator, th’ commentator-complicator, th’ reflection of perfection, th’ number one selection, th’ man of th’ hour, th’ man with th’ power, too sweet to be sour, sizzlin’ like T-bone steak, sweeter than a German chocolate cake, I can make a rich woman beg, a good woman steal, an old woman blush, an’ a lil’ girl squeal! And while yer in th’ back, a-laughin’ an’ a-jokin’… I’m in th’ ring… drinkin’ an’ smokin’… WOOOO!!!

J.T. gets on his knees and addresses Bubba J, literally shaking with rage.

J.T. Whiplash: Ya wanna know if I got what it takes to stick around? Ya wanna try to yank th’ chain of “The Confederate Copperhead”, do ya? DO YA? Well, son… yer a-gonna find out what I’m all ‘bout soon ‘nuff! I’m Southern-born, Southern-bred, an’ BY GOD WHEN MY REBEL ASS DIES… I’LL BE SOUTHERN-DEAD! Ya wanna see what I’m a-capable of, do ya? Well, I’m a-gonna be leavin’ a trail of blood, sweat, an’ tears in my wake! I don’t give two squirts of piss if yer Bubba J, that angry black mental midget Simon Kalis, that whiny lil’ bitch Emily Corlen, that dumb gothic goof Legion, that village whore Violet Harper, th’ lean, mean lispin’ machine Lisa Seldon, or even Bobby Lee… if ya got th’ hair on yer peaches… git ready fer a lesson in ass-kickin’ 101, with professor J.T. Whiplash! So… REBEL Pro… y’all brang ‘em to me, I’m a-gonna keep knockin’ ‘em down an’ raisin’ a lil’ hell along th’ way! Now I gotta titty bar to hit… th’ lessons start next week, boys an’ girls!

J.T. tosses the microphone into the crowd as he climbs out of the ring and tags hands with all the fans around ring-side as they chant “J-T-WHIP-LASH! J-T-WHIP-LASH!” as “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system.

Mikey Massacre: What an emotional, riveting speech by J.T. Whiplash! Love him or hate him… you can’t deny these REBEL Pro fans LOVE him like one of their own.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, yeah, yeah… let’s see if he last two weeks!

We fade out to one last shot of J.T Whiplash slapping hands with the fans as he makes his way backstage…

*****The World‘s A Stage*****

“I Started A Joke” by The Bee Gees begins to play throughout the arena as the lights go out and the audience is left with nothing but the dark glow from the REBELtron. The lights stay down, just for a minute, and when they come back up…

…The air is littered with playing cards, falling like confetti from the ceiling. A maniacal laughter can be heard over the speakers as a single image appears on the REBELtron…

…The cackling and downpour of cards continues as the show fades to black.

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Legion defeats Justin Case and then there’s a big surprise! A WRECKLESS SURPRISE!
Violet Harper defeats Lucious Starr in a fiery blast of sexiness!
Hardcore Entertainment defeats Emily Corlen & Lisa Seldon and become New Tag Team Champions!

*****BOMBS AWAY!*****
***So much for my revenge, eh?***

A loud rumbling is heard as a Harley Davidson Chopper motorcycle pulls into the parking lot of the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Nashville, Tennessee. A helmeted man steps off his Harley, pulling off his helmet to reveal a Confederate Flag wearing bandana and a fairly fresh scarred appearance; it is that of Bubba J. He looks around as he walks over to where he finds Masakazu watching him from the back door, where he enjoys a smoke before heading in with his father(who is already inside). Bubba J looks around and notices what he isn’t looking for.

Bubba J: What, no help Masakazu?”

Masa continues smoking his cigarette as he glares at Bubba J with contempt on his face; J just shrugs.

Masakazu: Hey man, what happened at Victory was just business man, you know how it is ri-

J lashes out with a fist, but Masa avoids the blow easily enough, but J is a bit quicker in kicking Masakazu right in the balls(the damn dirty fighter). J gets down in his face, Masa is gasping for breath as anyone would be who got kicked right in the balls.

Bubba J: I’ve done a bit to Simon, he’s done it right back to me. However, you were in on that little escapade back when I was sidelined for several months and this…”

He indicates Masakazu’s predicament.

Bubba J: Is just business, your dad’ll understand.”

He spits on Masakazu.

Bubba J: But I don’t give a fuck if he don’t either. Time to raise the hardcore factor of Rebel Pro and well I know that camera is recording and my time to play is just about half-way gone before those inept guards come out here and ruin my fun…”

He pulls out a sharp razor blade, cutting down Masa’s shirt before he has a chance to do anything. Masa begins to fight back, but J lifts him up, sending him on top of a car’s hood with a spinebuster. J once again gets back in his face.

Bubba J: Now, I was just gonna slice and dice a bit, but I do have something else I can do.”

He climbs up on the hood, dropping Masa onto the roof with a piledriver and beginning to pick up the pace.

Bubba J: Damn guards, always wanna ruin the fun.

J slides off the car as Masa lays there unconscious and heads to his pack on the Harley. J digs in there and pulls out a set of firecrackers and the ever present lighter. J takes the razor and slices through Masa’s pants before ramming the set of firecrackers right onto Masa’s genitals.

Bubba J: Don’t go and get all happy Masa, cause this… ain’t gonna sting…”

He looks down at the firecracker as he lights the tiny fuse and smirks.

Bubba J: Its gonna fucking hurt.”

The guards rush out, having been alerted, as J walks in pointing over his shoulder.

Bubba J: Bombs away boys, but I don’t think you’ll make it in time.”

He whistles as he heads past them and into the door as we hear loud popping and screaming coming from Masakazu.

Mikey Massacre: Those seemed to be M-80s!

Linzi Martin: I don’t think there’ll be any more babies in Masa’s near future, nor any relaxing sexual action.

*****Justin Case versus Bobby Lee & Jeremy Gold*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is a Handicap Elimination Match!

The crowd cheers and seems expectant.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first!

” Victory ” by P Diddy and company hits the P.A. Out comes ” The Millennium Game ” Justin Case! He stands at the entrance way, with his manager behind him, as pyro shoots on either side while he raises his oh so talented arms in the very talented air! Case struts down the ramp as Hugh Aredone limpingly lingers behind.

Jenny Jersey: Accompanied to the ring by Hugh Aredone… He is THE MILLENNIUM GAME… JUSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIN CAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSE!

He struts to the squared circle with a cockily arrogance that only he can endeavour. Once from inside the ring, he steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd on hand. Whether they like him or not, it does not matter. His manager hits his cane on the apron showing his approval. Jumping off the ropes he prepares for the match pulling on the upper rope as his music ends.

Linzi Martin: Man has he got his work cut out for him tonight.

Mikey Massacre: What? Are you shitting me?

“Born This Way” by Lady Gaga hits as Bobby Lee drags Jeremy Gold with him from the backstage area.

Jenny Jersey: His opponents! The acting General Manager of REBEL Pro, JEREMY GOLD! And of course… BOBBY LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

They get into the ring and look around. Gold shivers.

DING DING DING!!!

Mikey Massacre: There’s the bell and as much as I hate to say this, I feel really sorry for Jeremy Gold and Bobby Lee right about now.

Linzi Martin: I feel sorry for Jeremy, but not so much for Bobby Lee…

Justin Case looks at his manager Hugh Aredonne incredulously before he inches toward Jeremy Gold and Bobby Lee, both of whom take off running to the outside. Case just shakes his head as Bobby Lee jumps into the lap of a very large fan at ring-side.

Mikey Massacre: You’ve GOT to be kidding me…

Linzi Martin: Yeeeah, this won’t be a mat classic by any means.

Mikey Massacre: This is going to be a squash-fest.

Linzi Martin: More like a beat-down.

Jeremy Gold tries to do like-wise, but sees Hugh Aredonne waving his diamond cane at him. Gold begs off and backs toward the ring as

Case grabs him by the hair and pulls him on the ring apron, glaring into his eyes as Jeremy Gold flicks a weak punch and screams loudly in Case’s face.

Mikey Massacre: Is Jeremy SERIOUS?

Linzi Martin: I don’t think that will have any effect on Justin Case.

Case just rolls his eyes and suplexes him back into the ring. He then picks him up for a belly-to-belly suplex and smirks at his handy-work.

Mikey Massacre: Yeeeah, this is going to get ugly quick.

Linzi Martin: And Bobby Lee is nowhere to be found!

While Justin Case pounds Jeremy Gold with mounted punches, the camera catches Bobby Lee trying to run away, but one of the REBEL Pro security workers grabs Bobby Lee over his shoulder and tosses him back toward the ringside area. Meanwhile, Justin Case locks in a Sharp-Shooter as Jeremy Gold is tapping out and crying in the process, but the referee reluctantly does not call for the bell yet.

Mikey Massacre: Fans, normally this would be the end of the match, but thanks to Simon Kalis’ diabolical mind, if Case doesn’t pin Gold and Lee within ten seconds of each other, the match starts from scratch!

Linzi Martin: Diabolical? He’s a genius, Mikey! When will you give credit where credit is due?

Mikey Massacre: When pigs fly.

Bobby Lee then sneaks behind Justin Case and goes for a quick roll-up attempt as the referee makes the count.

Linzi Martin: What’s Bobby Lee doing here?

One…

Two…

Mikey Massacre: He almost got him!

Linzi Martin: Nah, he’s just delaying the inevitable.

Justin Case looks at Bobby Lee, shaking his head as Lee tries to go for a palm strike, but gets hit with his trademark Inverted Facelock Neckbreaker maneuver as Lee lies lifeless on the canvas.

Mikey Massacre: Oh no, The Benchmark!

Linzi Martin: Bobby Lee has just died on Aggression!

As Jeremy Gold pulls himself up on his feet, albeit wobbly, Case slaps on his crossface and Gold immediately taps out again. Justin Case then turns his attention to Bobby Lee and lifts him up for a quick Double Underhook Piledriver, planting Lee hard on the canvas as Lee’s right leg hangs outside the ropes while lying lifeless.

Mikey Massacre: Please God, just end this NOW!

Linzi Martin: Referee with the count…

One…

Two…

The referee then sees Bobby Lee’s leg outside the ropes and stops his count as Justin Case looks absolutely livid about the call.

Mikey Massacre: Apparently Bobby Lee’s foot was outside the ropes!

Linzi Martin: What ring awareness by Lee!

Mikey Massacre: Oh, bull-crap!

Justin Case then picks up Jeremy Gold with a Fisherman’s Suplex, leaving Gold completely out of it. He then lies a lifeless Bobby Lee and Jeremy Gold back-first on the canvas and goes to the top rope.

Linzi Martin: I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen here!

Justin Case then positions himself on the top rope and launches mid-air with a Shooting Star Press on top of both Lee and Gold as he lies on top of both of them for the pin.

Mikey Massacre: This has GOT to be it!

One…

Two…

THREE!!!

Linzi Martin: What a nail-biter!

Mikey Massacre: Oh come on, Linzi… this was just an out-and-out slaughter!

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and Gentlemen, here’s your winner… JUSTIN…. CASE!!!

Linzi Martin: Justin Case fought the odds tonight and picked up a HUGE win!

Mikey Massacre: I’d hardly call beating Bobby Lee and Jeremy Gold “beating the odds”…

Linzi Martin: Justin Case beat not one, but TWO people tonight! Give him some credit for once!

*****That‘s a Copperhead Right There!*****

Bubba J walks down the hallway, whistling some tune as though he doesn’t care about the match against Vincent Black tonight, cause he knows it’ll be fun as anything you can think of. He walks up on Jeremy Gold’s door, and kicks it open to show Jeremy watching something he shouldn’t be watching while at work. Gold looks up and notices that Bubba J is carrying some bag that he got from somewhere.

Bubba J: Hey Gold you faggaty piece of shit, how you doin’?

Gold looks terrified and is probably pissing himself, we just can’t see it.

Bubba J: Nevermind, don’t answer that cause I really don’t give a shit.”

Bubba shrugs before walking around the desk and pulling Gold up.

Bubba J: You know the drill, where’s Simon?”

Gold doesn’t answer, fear of both Simon’s wrath as well as that of Bubba J. J just shrugs and kicks him right in the gut and face pounds him into the desk repeatedly until he’s out cold. J opens up the desk and writes on Gold’s forehead, “Bubba J was here, Simon, I’m looking for you.” J then pokes the bag repeatedly, making something his and rattle loudly before he shoves Gold’s head into the bag and continues making the thing inside the bag very angry. J walks out and points over his shoulder with his right thumb.

Bubba J: In that bag… well… that’s a copperhead right there.”

He smirks before heading out of the office entirely and whistling until he comes to the area right behind the backstage curtain. He turns back to the camera that is still following him.

Bubba J: JT Whiplash, you think that you tricked anyone with them flags and that snake?”

He shrugs.

Bubba J: You probably fooled someone on drugs with a very bad alcohol problem… but then again that is something you’d know all about.”

Another shrug.

Bubba J: But before we get into this battle of words and actions, there is something that we need to do and that is get Rebel Pro back to the hardcore violence it was once known for.”

He stares into the camera.

Bubba J: You, Vincent Black, and myself can do that. Those fans have been cheering us lately cause they know that when Vincent Black and Bubba J say something about going hardcore… its gonna happen and some sumbitch is gonna get busted open to show red.”

He stares.

Bubba J: You say that you bleed the red, white, and blue of the Confederacy… but can you show to everyone that you can bleed the red of Rebel Pro? Can you stand up to the pain? Can you handle something truly damn hardcore anymore? Can you stay here for more than two weeks and make it long enough to make people fear your chair swing? Your barbed wire boot? Can you JT?”

He growls the next into the camera.

Bubba J: Prove to me that you can because if Rebel is going to be hardcore once again… we need a true veteran who can swing a chair, can stomp the shit out of someone, be that man JT… man up and be ready to go balls to the wall.”

He turns, but then turns right back to the camera.

Bubba J: Or Gold up and be a pussy. Your choice, I’m waiting on your answer. Are you with Vincent and me? Or are you against us?”

He holds up one more finger.

Bubba J: Make no mistake, I still don’t like ya, but I recognize the fact that you can be hardcore, if you can hang with the Real Rebelers of this federation.”

Vincent Black walks up behind Bubba and both men nod as they stand behind the entrance curtain, we hear Jeremy Gold start to scream now as we fade to ringside…

*****2/3 Falls*****
*****Bubba J versus Vincent Black*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is a TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS MATCH!

“Reign of Terror” hits up in the speakers as from the back, to a more than usual positive reaction; more and more cheers accompany these guys the more and more they wrestle. The camera pans around to see several hundred “Hardcore Drinking” posters, as well as some Vincent Black and Bubba J posters.

JENNY JERSEY: Now making their way to the ring, in the two out of three Falls match… Vincent! Black! and… Bubba! J!

Vincent nods at the mentioning of his name, Bubba J does the same. Black taps Bubba J on the shoulder, J looking up at his partner and friend before Black points to the Rebel-tron and J smiles his approval. Black digs under the ring as J heads backstage and comes back moments later with several spools of barbed-wire.

Mikey Massacre: It seems as though Bubba J and Vincent Black are to set up the match before they go through it.

Linzi Martin: This… is… so… hot.

Mikey Massacre: Well the AC has been on all..

Linzi Martin: No, this makes me so…

Mikey Massacre: And fans the team of Hardcore Entertainment are wrapping barbed wire around the table as well as leaving strands of it in a mangled twist on top of the table.

J and Black nod to each other before looking to the ring and heading down. Black once again digs under the ring pulling out a ladder while Bubba J removes a few chairs from fans’ hands as they gladly give them up for some hardcore fighting. J tosses them into the ring before taking a slug from a Jack Daniels bottle that snuck into the building; the bottle is drained and tossed into the ring as well. Black tosses several bottles into the ring, they break upon impact.

Mikey Massacre: They are setting up the match and with each piece of hardcore material, the fans are getting more and more anxious for what promises to be one hell of a fight!

Linzi Martin: I know, I’m getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it.

The fans begin a “Hardcore!” chant that bounces off the arena’s walls and seems to be getting louder and louder. J stands in front of a camera and does the Hulk ear thing and mouths something.

Bubba J: Hear that Simon, they are chanting for hardcore, not a bunch of pussies fighting seeing who’s got the bigger lips.

Bubba J and Vincent go around the ring getting the crowd up onto their feet, which nearly every single fan, but a couple in a wheelchair do and they are cheering loud enough anyways. A fan, who has modled his crutches to have barbed wire on one and thumbtacks on the other offer one each to Black and J; they take them greatfully. Black turns to Bubba and they swing, starting the match! The crowd explodes!

Ding Ding

The crutches come together, but Black is a bit faster as he nails J in the gut with a boot and brings the crutch down on his back.

Mikey Massacre: They are actually fighting!

Linzi Martin: Oh… ummm… yeah… oh…

Mikey Massacre: What are you doing?

Linzi Martin: Do you really want to know?

Mikey Massacre: Not really.

J nails Black in the thigh with the end of the crutch, dragging the tacks along and ripping a bit of jeans in the process. Black pounds him in the face with his knee before tossing him throat first down on the railing and causing him to fall back into the fans there. Black yells at them to get out of the way, and they do easily enough as he pulls J up into a powerbomb position. J thumbs him in the eye and Black drops him, but J pulls him down with a DDT onto the hard concrete. J makes a cover.

One!

Black kicks out quickly, not wanting to lose the first fall here in this match. J pulls him up, punching with stiff and quick right fists right into his tall ass face. Black stumbles back from the onslaught until he kicks out with a karate kick onto J’s knees and we hear J swear loudly.

Bubba J: Bastard!

Black smiles as he brings down an elbow onto J’s skull, sending him to one knee. Black backs up about ten feet…

Mikey Massacre: He can’t, he’s just too big!

Black completes the Shining Wizard, probably decapitating J, but there is no gush of either beer or blood, so J’s head must still be attached. Black makes the cover.

One!

J gets his shoulder up, not going down that easily, not this early anyways. Black helps him back to his feet, nailing him in the face with some left and right jabs before finishing off the combo with a right and left similtaneous uppercut that sends J flying up and backwards from the impact. Black stalks over, leaning down and J is smiling as he kicks Black right in the nuts, with steel toed boots.

Black: Fuck!

Black holds his balls as J comes firing up with a headbutt rocking Black and making him stumble backwards. Here comes J, swinging a chair, and connecting solidly on the crown of Black’s skull and now Black is sitting up against the railing. J comes with a running knee, but Black lifts him up and over the railing to drop on the opposite side. This small area is destroyed, but the fans are still up on their feet. J pulls himself up and heads over to Black, who slams a tray of jalapeno nachos into his face, causing the Ragin’ Redneck to spin away as the hot pepper juices run into his eyes and cause major tears. Black climbs onto the railing, perching his large frame there and leaps off, bringing down the barbed wire crutch into J’s back and he goes down. Black drags the crutch back and forth on Bubba’s back, ripping the shirt and sending blood flowing out of his skin. J struggles up, but Black helps him to a point before slamming his head into the railing.

Mikey Massacre: I still can’t believe they are actually fighting, I figured they’d… just wouldn’t.

Linzi Martin: I’m unavailable for comment at this point in time.

J drops to his hands and knees and here comes Black with a field goal kick, connecting solidly with J’s ribs hard enough to roll him over onto his back. Black climbs to the top turnbuckle, diving off with a double foot stomp, but J kicks out connecting with his knee and Black stumbles away. Vincent turns around, but J is right there shoving the nacho tray into his face and hammering it home with an elbow right to the eyes. J grinds the hot pepper juices into the eye with his thumbs before hammering Black’s blind face right into the ring apron once, twice, three, four, and five times! Black fires an elbow, but J saw it coming and spins out of the way kicking Black in the face with the toe of his steel toed boot and Black goes to a seated position against the railing. J leans down driving several knees home into his face that eventually bust him open with a slight cut over his right eye. J bends down, swinging for the fences and the barbs catch in Black’s face, ripping a bit of flesh and causing several more rivelets of blood to trickle down his face. Black shoves him back as he gets up to his feet and nails him with a vicious forearm that catches J by surprise. J rocks back against the railing and here comes Black with a leg lariat that sends him back over the railing to the fans, slightly down from where they’ve fought at before. J picks up a beer bottle, bringing it up in an uppercut as Black lashes out with a kick that sends the bottle right back into J’s face where it smashes lovingly against his face. J grunts from the impact of the foot and bottle that sends little pieces, along with one big chunk, into his face.

Mikey Massacre: They surely aren’t taking it easy on the other and we still haven’t had one fall!

Linzi Martin: Oooooooo I knooooooooooow.

Black lashes out with another kick, driving the glass home with the bottom of his boot and J’s head rocks back with authority and he falls to the concrete. Vincent climbs up onto the seats of two chairs before leaping as high as he can and coming down with a body splash with an elbow to J’s face for good measure. Black makes a cover.

One!

Two!

J gets a shoulder up and the crowd gasps, they can’t believe it, but Black knows just how damn tough Bubba is and smiles as J does the same; both are wearing a crimson mask and there are still at least 2 falls to go here in this contest of tag team partners.

Mikey Massacre: It was two, but not even close to a three yet.

Vincent pulls J back up, but he drags the broken neck of the bottle down Vincent’s thigh and brings a grunt of surprise and pain out of his partner and friend before driving the neck into Black’s cheek for good measure. Black with a forearm rocks J back, but J trips the blinded Black up, causing him to faceplant right into the seat of a chair and leave his bloody face print all over it, although it is severely smeared. J takes his turn to climb up onto a chair and come down with a double axehandle smash, but Black rolls off the chair and J has to catch himself, nearly falling himself. J turns around, chair shot right to the face and he crumples heavily onto the floor, perhaps out cold and here comes Black lifting him up for the New Hope onto a few chairs! Black has him up, but J rolls on over Vincent’s back somehow spinning and catching Black with a neckbreaker from Black’s finisher!

Mikey Massacre: My gawd what a counter!

J makes the cover now.

One!

Two!

Black gets his shoulder up and kicks out easily enough before the three.

Mikey Massacre: As with Bubba J, not even close to a three yet. Its going to take at least two finishers and then these two tough bastards may get a three to win the first fall!

Linzi Martin: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!

J stumbles up to his feet, the blood loss seeming to possibly be getting to him, but he pulls Black up and pounds his face into a stadium type chair, but Black pounds him in the ribs with an elbow before slamming his knee into J’s ribs to finish up the two shot combo. Black lifts J for a second, dropping his throat across the railing seperating the different levels before kicking him right in the face with a jumping kick that sends the bottom of his boot to split J’s lips open wide. Blood now begins to stream down J’s face and Black helps smear it a bit with a rapid firing of six elbows that has J’s back up against the railing. J almost topples over, but comes back firing a right and left punch combo. Black ducks under connecting with a sollid right uppercut and then nailing Bubba in the gut with a boot. Black pounds his face into the railing until the skin on his forehead splits and he lifts him up for another New Hope attempt. The fans below this level scatter as they see Black’s intentions, leaving about ten chairs together in their haste to depart. Black releases J, dropping him down about ten feet from the level above and he goes crashing through the chairs!

Mikey Massacre: DAMN!

Black looks down, climbing a bit gingerly onto the railing before launching himself off with a front flip into a body splash and driving an elbow right into J’s nose, causing it to bust upon impact. Black stays for the cover.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

JENNY JERSEY: Winner of the match’s first fall, Vincent Black!

Up in the corner of the Rebel-tron a “1″ goes up beside Vincent’s name

Simon Kalis: Hold up, hold on here a minute.

The crowd boos a bit as Simon comes out from the back, a microphone in his hand.

Simon Kalis: I’ve changed my mind, this is no longer a two out of three falls match, but instead is one fall to the finish. With that said, congratulations Mr. Black, you are the winner and Bubba J… you’ve! got! to! kiss! my! black! ass!”

He looks down to where Bubba J is sitting up against the wall, hatred written in his face. Simon smiles at him.

Simon Kalis: Fuck you Bubba J, and get ready to pucker up next week after you’ve disinfected those soon to be ass kissing lips of your’s.

Simon flips Bubba J off before turning and heading backstage; Bubba J seething with anger the entire time. Black helps him up to his feet, but J just stares at the curtains that wave after Simon passes through them.

Mikey Massacre: I can’t believe this! Its a Rebel Pro screwjob! Bubba J now has to kiss Simon’s black ass! This was supposed to be two out of three falls!

Linzi Martin: I don’t think I could have handled another two falls, I’m tired and my finger is really… really… really sore.

Black helps Bubba up and they begin to leave as Gold comes running out, his face bit by the snake Bubba left him. He seems ready to attack but then remembers he is a blithering pussy and falls down as Bubba and Black leave ringside.

*****The Teaser Redux*****

Suddenly, following the match, the lights go out in the arena again as the fans are wondering what’s going on.

Mikey Massacre: What is it with the last two shows having light problems?

Linzi Martin: All I know is SOMEONE better get to the bottom of this!

After a few moments of silence, we then hear the bagpipe intro again for “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle like at the pay-per-view amidst the darkness.

Mikey Massacre: There goes those bag-pipes again! Are we getting a Scottish wrestler?

Linzi Martin: I don’t like the sound of this!

Finally, the bagpipe intro shuts off and the lights come back on with a rebel flag in each ring post with a moonshine jug in the middle of the ring, but unlike the pay-per-view, there’s no snake in the ring. But on the ramp-way sits a black and gold 1984 Buick Grand National with a “Don’t Tread On Me!” flag on the hood of the car.

Mikey Massacre: I recognize that car! Could the rumors be true?

Linzi Martin: I sure hope not. REBEL Pro doesn’t need anyone pushing the AARP discount age on the roster!

Finally, a nervous Jeremy Gold works up the nerve to open the car door to see who’s behind this. But when the door opens, Gold recoils in horror as we zoom in and see another Copperhead snake, this time in the driver’s seat.

Mikey Massacre: Somebody call Billy The Exterminator because REBEL Pro has a Copperhead problem!

Linzi Martin: All I know is we BETTER get some answers next week! This is getting ridiculous!

As Gold begins to cry and starts to run for the back, the REBEL Pro big screen shows a Rebel Flag on the screen with the date “8.15.2011… He’s coming home. Are YOU ready?” as Gold is shaking their head in fear at what might be ahead for them.

Mikey Massacre: It looks like next week, we’re going to get our answer as to who’s behind all this, though I have a good feeling who it is…

Linzi Martin: I think I’m going to be sick…

*****Hot for Teacher*****

Backstage we find rpw aggression champion, Violet Harper, dressed to impress with a tan tight skirt from her hips to a little past mid-thigh area, black blouse, and her lovely hair all done and curled up. she’s even got a cute pair of glasses on, adding to her almost school-like fantasy sex appeal. she’s not wrestling in tonight’s show since she’s still recovering from armed assault. you can still see a few scars and bruises, but she still looks amazing. she looks into the camera and smiles.-

Violet Harper: I just want to thank all the fans out there for your support and letters while I was recovering in the hospital. Even the men who sent me lewd pictures of their members wanting every inch of my body. Thank you, I guess.

She shakes her head, trying to block out the images.

Violet Harper: Last week was a huge step in my career because there were a lot of you out there that didn’t think I deserved to be Aggression Champion. Of course you had every right to believe that. I’m not nearly as misguided as lot of my coworkers around here and around the community. I didn’t earn it, in fact I felt a little shameful taking that title, but never once did I strut around thinking I was hot stuff because I was handed that title.

Pause.
Violet Harper: Well, to be fair, I am hot stuff. Just look at me.

She winks, giving the camera a 360 view. we wish she stopped at the 180 point, but she’s a tease like that.

Violet Harper: I made sure my opponents knew I was going to do everything I could to earn it. And while Legion thought he had me in his death grip and he was going to crush me, I managed to shock everyone, even him, but grabbing the title and holding onto it for dear life as he nearly drove me to Hell. I think my toughness, my determination, and my desire to not only rise to the top of this industry but learn from some of its greatest competitors puts me a cut above your average superstar here in Rebel.

Violet Harper: And I’m more than eager to prove that! Simon Kalis – no doubt you gave me an exceptional test last week, which I passed. I expect you to up the ante in my next title defense, because well.. sugar… I just wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

Violet Harper: The Harper Legacy began last week and it’s going to continue on as I show you, the Rebel Pro faithful, why I deserve this championship and give you all another champion you can love and adore.

Violet Harper: I don’t believe in getting to the top of something and then calling it quits. I will continue to earn my stripes, no matter how many matches I win or lose. That’s a promise, babes!

She smiles and then blows the camera a kiss, turning around and walking down the hallway. the camera view slowly falls to her buttocks area, and then quickly snaps back up before cutting back to ringside.

LINZI MARTIN: Yeah, girl power! Rebel Pro’s champions are showing why they’re the best, Mikey!

MIKEY MASSACRE: What I would do with that…man.. I –

We can hear a bitch-slap noise.

MIKEY MASSACRE: OWIE!

LINZI MARTIN: Serves you right, and you better hope I don’t tell her what you said!

*****A Fuck You Special: Guest Referee Simon Kalis*****
*****Legion versus “The Emerald Phoenix” Emily Corlen*****

Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is a Fuck You Special Match! If Legion wins, he will become the undisputed number one contender to the REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship!!!!

The crowd boos this announcement.

Jenny Jersey: And Emily Corlen will be stripped of her half of the REBEL Pro World Tag Team Title, and FIRED! Legion ONLY needs a count of 2 to win!

Linzi Martin: The deck is stacked against Emily here. She is also defending her tag partners face from meeting Legion’s fists, though I’m guessing after the attitude she’s had since being pistol whipped, defending Lisa isn’t too big on her priority list.

Mikey Massacre: This is another screw job waiting to happen.

“Dope Boy Fresh” by Three 6 Mafia hits over the speakers as The Order of Chaos skull emblem burns into the REBELTron.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first! He is the Special Guest Referee for tonight’s main event! The minority owner of REBEL Pro, he is SIMON KALIS!!!!!

Kalis steps out and is met with boos, to which his eyes widen and he throws his hands up in a “What the fuck? Are you seriously booing me?” kind of way. He’s wearing a striped referee shirt and jean shorts and black Jordans on his feet. Simon bobs his head to the rhythm of the song, black as fuck as he pretends to brush dirt off his shoulder at booing fans. He slides into the ring and offers an Order of Chaos salute.

Mikey Massacre: After he hit Bubba J with a REBEL Pro Screw Job earlier tonight, can’t help but wonder what he’s got in store for Corlen.

The lights in the arena go to black and the heavy bass of ‘Inside’ by NiN kicks in over the sound system. Rising from a hole set in the middle of the stage is Legion, a backlight showing only his silhouette. The arena lights come back up and Legion is joined on stage by members of his congregation and they all make their way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing! LEGION!

Legion enters the ring as his congregation surrounds it. Simon nods and bows to Legion, hiding a big grin over his face.

Linzi Martin: I’ve known Simon Kalis a long time. I hope Legion realizes, Simon is a user. He will use Legion and the Church of Misery against people who piss him off in REBEL Pro, just so he doesn’t have to get his hands dirty.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t think Legion cares. He wants to burn the “unworthy” from REBEL Pro, and so it may be that their goals align.

Linzi Martin: Yeah but he called Simon a “convert”, and referred to this match as a “gift” to the Church of Misery. A tiding. None of you here know him like I do! Trust me!

Mikey Massacre: You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent!

“Miseria Cantare(The Beginning)” by AFI hits as Emily Corlen steps out, her RPW World Tag Team title securely strapped to her waist. She stares across the entrance ramp into the ring with fire in her eyes.

Jenney Jersey: She is EMILY CORLEN!!!!

Corlen makes a beeline towards the ring, sliding in, taking off her REBEL Pro World Tag Team title and leaping into the air at Legion with it, smashing it across his masked face. Simon smirks, calling for the bell to start the match.

DING DING DING

Legion doesn’t fall, he merely stumbles back ever so slightly. Corlen bashes her title into his masked face again, and again and again! Legion leans into the corner turnbuckle as Corlen tosses the belt aside and climbs up over him in the corner, and begins wailing on Legion with lefts and rights. His hard masks reddens her knuckles till they bleed and she screams as she looks up, loud and frighteningly. She wraps her left arm around the back of Legions neck and jumps back, taking Legion with her into a DDT! The crowd explodes and Corlen throws herself onto Legion, covering and hooking the legs.

Mikey Massacre: Jesus, she is pissed.

Linzi Martin: Simon isn’t making the count.

Simon steps back, leaning his right shoulder back and staring at Emily’s ass with a huge chauvinistic smile on his face. Emily gets to her feet and gets right into Simons face. She doesn’t even say anything, she just pits her nose up to his chin and stares.

Simon Kalis: Touch me bitch. I dare you.

Simon looks at Legion as he gets up, nodding in Simons direction. Emily turns around and is immediately met with a big boot to the face sending Emily to the canvas hard. Legion grabs her tag team title and hoists it into the air before grabbing the straps and RIPPING IT APART WITH HIS BARE HANDS!

Mikey Massacre: Shit he just destroyed her Tag title.

Linzi Martin: Have you EVER seen someone RIP LEATHER with their bare hands like that? What strength.

Legion holds onto the center gold plate and waits for Emily to get to her feet. She shakes her head and gives out another war cry as she spins herself at Legion and spears him into the corner. Legion takes the edge of the center gold piece of the now destroyed REBEL Pro tag title and begins bashing it against the back of Emily Corlens neck as Emily charges him repeatedly with her shoulders. Emily grits her teeth, ignoring the pain until Legion moves forward and throws her to the canvas with ease. Corlen rolls, gets back to her feet and rushes at Legion who smashes her tag title into her face. Emily stumbles back, falls to one knee but doesn’t completely fall back. Simon watches on now, much more seriously. Legion cracks the gold plate from the RPW Tag title across Emily’s face and she hit’s the canvas hard. He begins wailing on her with it, just bashing it over her face repeatedly until Emily’s forehead rips open with blood gushing out as her nose bleeds with it too. Emily Corlen looks fucked up as Legion chucks that broken piece of the tag title aside and drops to his knees, placing his arms over as he makes the pin.

1!
T-KICK OUT!

Simon makes the fast count but Emily still manages to throw a shoulder up.

Linzi Martin: That was close! And remember folks, Legion ONLY needs a 2 count to win!

Mikey Massacre: What a bitch.

Linzi Martin: Who?! Emily?!

Mikey Massacre: No. Simon.

Legion does the unthinkable, and climbs the turnbuckles to the top rope. He stands on the top turnbuckle and raises his arms in the air, the crowd shocked and in disbelief as Emily holds her face. Legion jumps off the top rope and hit’s a thunderous elbow drop across Emily’s chest. Emily feels it hard as she shakes and quickly rolls out of the ring to catch her breath.

Mikey Massacre: Bad idea, Corlen.

Legions congregation begins circling the ring to surround Emily. Corlen gets to her feet and kicks one of them in the face, sending him to the ground. Another guy grabs her from behind by her neck but she elbows him in the gut till he falls back in pain. A third guy runs and leaps at her but Emily grabs him by the throat and then throws him away like a rag doll. She grabs one of the men from the floor and rips off his mask, revealing a terrifying disfigured man behind it before looking up at Legion in the ring. Legion crosses his arms and watches as Emily circles the ring now, yelling at him. Emily holds the mask up before sliding back into the ring.

Linzi Martin: HERE WE GO!

Corlen is quick to her feet as Legion comes for her. She ducks a powerful clothesline and then cracks the edge of the mask against Legion’s throat. Legion stumbles back with a cough as Emily jumps up, wraps her legs around his waist and begins wailing on him with that congregation members mask against his throat. Legion falls down to the canvas, Emily still has her legs wrapped around him as she bashes the mask against his throat multiple times. She throws it aside and wipes the blood off her face, rubbing it onto Legions mask now. She then pushes herself against Legion, holding him down with all her weight on him. Simon actually goes to make the count now.

1!

Linzi Martin: I can only imagine what Lisa would say right now.

2!!

Mikey Massacre: Probably something about how Free Willy has beached all over Legion, and since he didn’t bring his crane I imagine he’s in some trouble.

KICK OUT!

Legion THROWS Emily Corlen off of himself and she hit’s the canvas and rolls away. Legion sits up quickly and gets to his feet. He grabs one of the leather straps from the now torn tag title and holds it by the end, with the small gold plate at the end of the strap.

Mikey Massacre: Whip the breeder time?

Linzi Martin: Breeder, tch.

Mikey Massacre: You saying you wouldn’t want to be one of the breeders?

Linzi Martin: …

Emily Corlen is on all fours, her face and nose still trickling with fresh blood. Legion stands over her and lifts his arm up and WHIPS the strap of the torn belt into Emily’s back. The gold plate at the end of it stings her spine as he whips her again, and again, and again. Welts begin to appear on her back and cuts too. Legion holds up the leather strap, the gold plate on it covered in Corlens blood. Corlen is down on the canvas and Legion whips the gold plate into the back of her head two times for good measure before chucking it aside, kicking Corlen in the ribs until she rolls over and covering.

1!

TWOO-KICK OUT! KICK OUT! CORLEN KICKS OUT!

Legion looks up at Simon, who shakes his head as he backs up. Simon props himself onto the top turnbuckle and lights a cigarette. Legion gets out of the ring and then goes under the ring and pulls out some tables, chairs and reels of barbed wire.

Linzi Martin: Oh shit.

Mikey Massacre: Legions getting serious now. Corlen just won’t go down! She’s even bleeding out the back of her head now, she might have a concussion and if she doesn’t I’d be seriously surprised.

Corlen seems dazed, and Simon rocks back and forth as he looks over her with a sense of curiosity. Legion sets up the tables next to each other on the outside before throwing a chair up over the top rope into the ring. He throws the reel of barbed wire into the ring as well before sliding back in. Corlen out of no where rolls herself onto her shoulders, flips, jumps up to her feet with a look like she’s possessed in her eyes as she hits BOOM! Headshot! On Legion! Legion stumbles around and bounces off the ropes before Corlen rolls him up! Simon smacks his hands together.

Simon Kalis: I’m on a smoke break, sorry.

Emily Corlen: YOU FUCKING DICK!

Corlen gets to her feet and scoffs

Simon Kalis: He’d have kicked out sweetheart.

Corlen sees the reel of barbed wire and grabs it as Legion sits up, shaking his head. Corlen wraps the barbed wire around Legions neck from behind, puts her knee into his spine and begins pulling back as hard as she can. Her hands begin to bleed, and Legions throat begins to bleed too as the barbs cut into his neck and throat. He reaches out and looks around as the camera zooms in on his eyes, somewhat in disbelief at the gall of Corlen. Corlen rolls onto her back, lifting Legion up now with both her knees digging into Legions spine. The crowd goes NUTS, they can’t believe her strength! Legions blood drips out over Emily’s chest joining her blood as she screams and yells for Legion to give up.

Linzi Martin: Holy shit.

Mikey Massacre: This is what we need man.

Simon looks on in astonishment before hopping off the top turnbuckle and walking over.

Simon Kalis: Give up, Legion?

Legion gives Simon a look. That’s all he needs to do and Simon looks at Corlen, the fierce anger in her face as she refuses to relent. Legion begins throwing wild elbows behind his back as a last ditch effort to get free and it works, the pressure of his weight and size against Emily’s knees is too much and she tosses him aside, letting go. She looks at her own hands, the barbs having sliced deep into them. She begins to crawl away from the mess, the ring stained all over the place with her blood but finally Legions blood joining it as he rips the barbed wire from his throat, bleeding from his neck. He holds his throat and Simon looks at each of them, possibly hoping he won’t get sued if one of them dies as he smokes his cigarette with a front row seat. He goes to check on Emily, but she shoves him aside. Simon goes to check on Legion, but Legion turns to look at him and he nods as he slowly backs away.

Mikey Massacre: Legion is bleeding from his damn neck and throat, but I don’t think major veins got pierced otherwise he’d be dead in minutes.

Linzi Martin: Over my few weeks working here, sitting next to you Mikey. I’ve learned it takes two things to compete and survive in REBEL Pro.

Corlen begins pulling herself to her feet with the ropes as Legion leans against a corner, holding his neck. One of his congregation takes a pipe from under the ring while another man begins burning it to heat it up.

Mikey Massacre: Oh? What’s that, Linzi?

They hand the pipe to Legion and the edge of it is red hot, Legion takes that edge and begins rubbing it against his neck and throat, wincing as he burns his wounds in an attempt to cauterize the wound from its continued bleeding.

Linzi Martin: Uhhhh…. Balls and luck. And I think Legion’s just shown us he has serious balls by burning his own neck to stop the bleeding. Jesus Christ.

Corlen grabs the chair Legion had thrown into the ring as Legion comes at her with his red hot pipe. (Stop thinking dirty thoughts sickos). Legion swings the heated tip at her, she ducks and slams the sides of the chair into his ribs. Legion takes a step to the side as Corlen hits an upswing, sending Legion into the corner turnbuckle. Legion shakes it off and climbs up, his feet on the middle turnbuckle. Corlen drops the chair and runs at him. He tries to swat her away with the pipe but misses, as Corlen stands up on the bottom turnbuckle and grabs him by the neck, pushing her thumbs into the cuts he just cauterized.

Linzi Martin: NO WAY! SHE IS NOT PULLING THIS OFF!

Emily screams in Legions face as she pulls up, lifting Legion off the turnbuckle. She spins and lays him out with her two handed choke slam, Seventh Heaven RIGHT ONTO THE CHAIR! The crowd is ON THEIR FEET cheering as Corlen stumbles around. She hugs herself, rubbing her arms before falling to the canvas and throwing herself onto Legion for the cover. Luckily, Simons so impressed he goes to make the count.

1!

2!!

THREEE-NO!!! LEGION KICKS OUT! LEGION KICKS OUT! SHIT SON!

Legion kicks out, but does NOT throw Corlen off him like he has thus far. She rolls away, breathing heavily and bleeding all over the place.

Fans: REBEL! REBEL! REBEL! REBEL! REBEL!

Mikey Massacre: The crowd is loving this! What a main event it has been, I must say I’m surprised.

Linzi Martin: We can expect Legion to survive the onslaught of most people, but to see Emily still standing is great.

Mikey Massacre: Except she’s not standing and is bleeding out all over the ring.

Linzi Martin: Semantics my dear Massacre.

Legion sits up, breathing heavily as he turns to look at Emily Corlen. He slowly nods as Corlen gets to her feet at the same time.

Simon Kalis: Why don’t you just fucking die? What’s wrong with you?

Kalis says to Corlen as she pushes him aside and hops up onto the turnbuckles. Legion watches her. Corlen flies off the top rope and lands crotch-to-face on Legions shoulders. She sits there and begins wailing on Legion before attempting to flip herself and do a hurricanrana… Which fails. Legion instead lifts her back up and walks over to the ropes and lifts her higher… ENTER BLACKNESS TO THE OUTSIDE THROUGH A TABLE! Emily Corlen is DESTROYED!!!!

Mikey Massacre: Oh man. Oh man. She is FINISHED!

Linzi Martin: NOOOOOO!! NO!!! NOT LIKE THIS!!! EMILY! GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!!!

Kalis smiles, Legion gets out of the ring and lifts Corlen up on the outside. Corlen is out of it as Legion pushes her into the ring and climbs up onto the apron, getting into the ring.

Linzi Martin: Man… This sucks.

Mikey Massacre: I’m sure Lisa Seldon is somewhere in Boston, laughing at Emily Corlen bleeding like a pig. I mean it’s not like Legion gets her half of the tag titles. Lisa gets both, and gets to pick a new partner.

Legion points to Corlen, who’s got fresh and dried blood all over her. Simon nods.

Linzi Martin: I don’t know, I wouldn’t be laughing if I was Lisa. She is going to have to face Legion now at Prove Your Worth!

Legion drops to his knees, and covers Emily Corlen. Simon Kalis drops for the count.

1!

Linzi Martin: EMILY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

2!!!!!!!

Simon sits up, his eyes so wide open his fake glass eye almost pops out and his mouth gaping wide.

Mikey Massacre: No way…

Corlen, has her shoulder up.

Linzi Martin: RIGHT BEFORE HE HIT FOR TWO!!! CORLEN KICKED OUT BITCHES! CORLEN FUCKING KICKED OUT!!!!

The fans, the announcers, Simon and Legion, and all you assholes watching… SHOCK! AWE! WHOA! REBEL PRO!

FUCK YEAH!

Legion looks at Simon and back at Corlen, who coughs as her eyes roll around in her head. Legion covers her again.

1!

TW-KICK OUT!

Kalis shakes his head, and Legion punches Emily in the face and slams her head against the canvas. He covers again.

Fans: CORLEN! CORLEN! CORLEN! CORLEN!

1!

Fans: CORLEN! CORLEN! CORLEN! CORLEN!

TWOOOO-NOOOOOOOOO!!! SHE KICKS OUT! SHE KICKS OUT!!!

Legion gets to his feet and steps out of the ring. Simon kneels down before Emily and lifts her head up to see if she’s still awake.

Simon Kalis: I gave you this. Starr said I’d use you till I had no more use, but he was wrong. I broke Duff. I broke Starr. They weren’t strong enough to handle the freedom I gave them Emily. I was always a friend, look at you now. I make or break stars. So. Can you handle it where they couldn’t? Are you strong enough?

Corlen looks up and shoves Simon out of the way.

Simon Kalis: Prove me wrong, Emily.

Legion folds the table he set up on the outside and slides it into the ring. Corlen rolls away from Kalis who stands up and backs away. Legion enters the ring and sets the table up in the middle of the ring as Corlen gets to her feet, feeding off the energy of the fans. Legion grabs that reel of barbed wire you probably forgot was in the ring and begins wrapping it all around the table. He takes that chair too and sets it up before wrapping it to the table with barbed wire, until all of the whole reel is tightly wrapped to it.

Mikey Massacre: Here comes the end.

Linzi Martin: I can’t watch!

Corlen picks up her REBEL Pro Tag Team title, or at least the center gold plate since Legion ripped the title into 3 shreds. Legion grabs her by her hair and rips her forward toward him. He spins her around and lifts her into the air for a choke slam. Corlen begins bashing Legions head with the gold plate from her tag belt on top of his head where his face isn’t protected by the mask. She whips her legs up, around his neck and then pulls herself forward and slides off his back back to the canvas but not before bashing in Legions already cut up and burned neck. She cracks him in the back of the neck with the gold plate, gives him a low blow for good measure. Legion winces and bends forward holding himself. Corlen with another low blow which sends Legion forward. She grabs his legs and sweeps him off his feet, holding his legs between her waist.

Mikey Massacre: No way… She isn’t going to do this.

Linzi Martin: YOU CAN DO IT EMILY! GIRL POWER!!

Emily Corlen SCREAAAAAAAMS as the fans CHEEEEER her on! SHE LIFTS LEGION UP INTO THE AIR, SPINS…. THE CATALYST THROUGH THE BARBED WIRE WRAPPED, CHAIR MESHED TABLE!!!!

Fans: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!!!

Corlen collapses, rolling Legion over but not before ripping some of the barbed wire and wrapping it around his neck as she pulls back on his neck while covering. Kalis, in utter shock, drops for the count.

1!

Linzi Martin: YES! YES!

2!!

Mikey Massacre: That didn’t just happen, man.

3!!!!!!!!!!!

Kalis leans back, wiping his mouth in shock as he calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… EMILY CORLEN!!!!!!!!!

The crowd here in Nashville is going NUTS as Simon raises Corlen’s arm while she remains laid out on the canvas. Legion holds his head and then pulls the barbed wire off his neck again. Legion rolls out of the ring, shaking his head as he begins making his way back up the entrance ramp.

Mikey Massacre: My hats off to Corlen right now. I’m in shock.

Linzi Martin: This whole arena, everyone watching at home… We all are.

Simon Kalis lights another cigarette and leans against the corner, watching as Corlen rolls around getting herself back together.

Mikey Massacre: She lifted this man up with pure, raw power. It had to be a burst of adrenaline, but still. It was amazing.

Corlen gets to her feet, and looks at Simon Kalis. Kalis salutes her before climbing out of the ring and leaving, heading back up the entrance ramp.

Mikey Massacre: Well folks. For Linzi Martin, this is-

Corlen gets thrown a microphone and shakes her head, cutting everyone off.

Emily Corlen: No… No… You can’t walk away. Not after this.

Kalis stops atop the entrance ramp

and turns around.

Emily Corlen: Not after what just happened. Does this prove I’m good enough to be here, Simon?

Simon looks around, smiling and nods.

Emily Corlen: Lisa! Does this prove I’m good enough to be your partner?! I don’t give a shit!

Corlen drops, and rolls out of the ring.

Emily Corlen: You’ve all treated me like a nothing, a nobody! FOR TOO LONG!

Corlen goes under the ring and begins chucking out big canisters of gasoline. Kalis squints as he watches her.

Emily Corlen: It’s time to take a stand. To make a statement. To show the world I’m deadly serious, boys.

Gold runs out from backstage, though Kalis jumps back when he sees Gold with all the snake bites on his face. Gold seems to be imploring Simon to stop her, as Emily Corlen begins pouring gasoline all over the ring.

Emily Corlen: You remember this, don’t you Simon? What you did to the PWA ring, to make a statement?

Corlen stands in the middle of the ring now, all of the canisters of gas empty. Simon looks at Gold and shakes his head, as he turns to watch.

Emily Corlen: What happens when a good soul is pushed over the edge?

Corlen, blood, sweat and all sparks a zippo lighter and throws it onto the ring. The spark flies and the ring immediately begins to burn.

Emily Corlen: EVERYBODY BURNS!

Corlen drops the microphone and looks around her as the ring begins to engulf itself in flames. Linzi Martin and Mikey Massacre abandon their posts at ringside and make a quick exit as fans at front row are directed by security to begin leaving. Simon watches on, lighting another cigarette and nodding in Corlen’s direction.

He smirks.

Corlen jumps out of the ring, grabbing the last piece left of her RPW Tag Team title, the center gold plate and the mask of one of Legions men and starts walking up the entrance ramp. Gold faints, falling off the stage and through a table below. Simon rolls his eyes. Corlen stops in front of Simon and looks him dead to rights in the eyes before pushing him aside and walking past. Simon watches the ring fall into itself as the crowd is evacuated and he leaves now too…

*****My Brothers Keeper*****

The lights in the arena go pitch black, leaving only the sight of the burning ring in the middle of the ring as the sound of “Mad World” by Gary Jules picks up over the speakers and the REBEL-Tron flashes a bright-white screen. The scene shows a hospital hallway, the camera inching down the hallway from a first-person perspective.

We can see nurses, doctors, patients and visitors all walking past the camera as it continues to make it’s way down the hall. Turning a corner, we can see a sign hanging which reads “Psychiatric Wing”. Further down the hall, there is a man, sitting on the floor, banging his head onto the wall and using his fingers to count to six — over and over and over again.

Finally, we get to the door at the very end of the hall, the camera pans upwards and looks through a small barred window. Inside, we can see the image of a man in a straight jacket. The names of all the federations in the AoWF begin to fade in as the music fades out. The words, “Coming Soon” fade in just as we see the man in a straight jacket, his head lowered and what appears to be different messages written in blood around him.

The image freezes on the screen as we fade to the REBEL Pro logo and out…

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Justin Case defeats Bobby Lee & Jeremy Gold regardless of the CONSPIRACY!
Vincent Black defeats Bubba J as Simon Kalis pulls a REBEL Pro Screw Job!
Emily Corlen defeats Legion in a wild main event, then goes fucking crazy, burning things and such.

*****Code RED*****

We find ourselves in the parking lot, where a familiar motorcycle revvs into a vacant space. The biker’s helmet is removed, and Lucious Starr makes his way to the entrance. A few security guards stop him, and he grins.

Lucious Starr: Howdy, fellas. If you don’t mind…

Security Guard 1: Sir, we’re not idiots. You need to leave.

Lucious shakes his head, chuckling. He starts in towards the door, but again is blocked.

Security Guard 2: Mr. Starr, we will not ask again. Return to your vehicle and leave. Now.

Lucious Starr: Guys. Seriously. It’s Armed Assault. If Kalis didn’t expect me to be here to see him, he would have…

Security Guard 3: We have explicit orders from Mr. Gold not to allow you into the building. Please…

Lucious Starr: Wait, Jeremy? Jeremy wants to ban me from the arena?

Security Guard 3: Indeed, sir. Now, I ask one last time. Return to your vehicle and leave.

Lucious shakes his head, chuckling. He turns… then comes back wielding an OoC custom Desert Eagle. The guards, however, have pulled their rifles, ready for the backlash.

Security Guard 1: You really think we wouldn’t expect this from you, Mr. Starr? Leave.

Lucious raises an eyebrow, contemplating his options. He lowers his gun, placing it back in its holster near his chest. He starts back towards his ducati, revving the engine.

Security Guard 2: Gate to Gold. The comet has been avoided. Repeat, the comet has been avoided.

At that moment, the ducati revvs around and blasts right through the guards, blowing down the entrance door as Lucious roars into the building. Security follows, but are left in the dust.

Security Guard 1: CODE RED! WE HAVE A CODE RED! ALL GUARDS ON FULL ALERT, THE COMET HAS HIT! THE COMET HAS HIT!!

Security continues to rush the halls, and the camera fades back to Gold’s office suddenly…

*****The Big Bad Man*****

The camera cuts backstage where it finds Jeremy Gold’s throat being squeezed by Bubba J as he holds him up against the wall. Bubba J’s face is right in that of the whimpering Gold as he growls out his words.

Bubba J: “I watched what Simon did to me the other night and it rekindled the anger I felt while I seethed in the hospital.”

J punches Gold right in the face, splitting his lip.

Bubba J: “Now, I know Simon is supposed to be here tonight, so tell me when and I won’t hurt you too badly.”

Gold whimpers more.

Bubba J: “You can even tell him that a big bad man made you tell him…”

Bubba J smirks.

“When he wakes up.”

Gold is whimpering again and pissing on himself as he mutters.

Gold: “He’ll be here in five minutes.”

Bubba J nods, allowing Gold to slide down the wall, but not to a seated position.

Bubba J: “One last thing… this is for Hostile, nothing to do with what Simon and I have to settle.”

J picks Gold up, slamming him through his desk, causing it to shatter into a dozen pieces. Bubba picks up his lap top bag and heads out to the parking lot area.

*****ARMED ASSAULT*****

We fade in, the room is dark. We know we’re somewhere in the arena, as we can hear the fans in the Superdome cheering and screaming loudly.

Voice: Revenue is up across all sectors. Attendance, merchandise, television. Ratings are through the roof.

We can see the spark of a lighter, and in that moment we see Simon Kalis’ face lit up from the flame as he lights a cigarette.

Simon Kalis: We’re in bigger buildings, of course attendance is up. We’re reaching more people, of course they’re buying shit. We’ve got a national television deal, of course ratings are up. Let’s not even forget that we’ve got the best World Champion in the AoWF, who is the AoWF World Champion on top of it.

We hear the other man chuckle to himself.

Voice: Hence the big statues of her as the ring stage?

Simon Kalis: Yep.

Kalis coughs to clear his throat.

Voice: You’ve done well, Aaron.

Simon Kalis: Have I? Larry Gordon had a vision, that REBEL Pro would go national. I merely implemented that vision… In my own way. I bought 49% of REBEL Pro, with the money I made selling the PWA back to the Sommers family.

Voice: After raising the stocks yourself. Clever.

Simon Kalis: Hmmm.

Voice: And your plan comes full circle.

The lights slowly turn on, and we see Simon wearing his fashionable black and white pinstripe Armani suit, with a tie that appears to have been made to look like it is covered in splotches of blood. How REBEL Pro. He’s smiling, devilishly.

Voice: It’s your vision now, Aaron. To make REBEL Pro the number one company in the AoWF, returning the blood soaked roots of battling in the South. Right?

Kalis shakes his head, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette.

Simon Kalis: I remember.

Voice: This is your chance, Aaron.

Aaron Simon Kalis smiles, shaking his head no.

Simon Kalis: This is their chance.

Kalis reaches under his desk and pulls out his custom Golden Gun, a gold plated Desert Eagle Mark VII. He aims it square at the camera lens.

Simon Kalis: Brought to you by The Order of Chaos! REBEL Pro PRESENTS: ARMED ASSAULT!

He fires, and fireworks pop off across the arena from the ceiling towards the great stage and REBELTron area, as well as the ring. The crowd is screaming and cheering, holding up all kinds of signs. “Justin Case U Didn’t Know- I Made This FUCKING Sign!”, “Popped My Cherry @ Hardcore Drinking!”, “LISA FOREVER!” are amongst the many signs that litter the already raucous and drunk crowd here in the Louisiana Superdome. The camera pans the stage set up for the entrance ramp, and at either side of the entrance curtain itself are two massive limestone statues of a carved Lisa Seldon holding three different championship belts.

Linzi Martin: Hello everyone! I’m Linzi Martin!

Mikey Massacre: What the hell kind of set is that? Massive statues of Lisa Seldon? Is this Victory Wrestling?

Linzi Martin: And uhm, errr… That’s Mikey Massacre! And WELCOME to Armed Assault! Brought to you in part by CthuluPAC! Cthulu for President 2012!

Mikey Massacre: I’m not saying the line, Linzi.

Linzi Martin: Yeah but Simon says-

Mikey Massacre: I don’t care.

Linzi Martin: Well uhm. Cthulu for President 2012! Why chose the lesser evil?! Armed Assault is also brought to you tonight by The Order of Chaos!

Mikey Massacre: I am definitely not saying the next line, either.

Linzi Martin: Well I don‘t mind! All Hail The Order of Chaos! Your forever overlords over the entire AoWF!

Mikey Massacre: Is this what it’s come to?

Linzi Martin: Is what come to what?

Mikey Massacre: You wouldn’t understand. I’m talking to the real REBELs out there, not all of these phonies.

Linzi Martin: I uh don’t know what to say to that.

Mikey Massacre: Well, we’ve got a hell of a night ahead of us don’t we?

Linzi Martin: Yes! We’ve got Hardcore Entertainment, those mean drunk bastards Vincent Black and Bubba J taking on the awesome Gabe Shelley and super hot chick power wonder woman Alexia Fender in a barbed wire frickin’ cage match! All to see who’ll face the REBEL Pro Tag Team Champions!

Mikey Massacre: And then it says here an AoWF Tag Team League match? Who the hell cares about that? Why is that even on a REBEL Pro event? None of these people work for REBEL Pro.

Linzi Martin: Now you’re just being picky, Mikey!

Mikey Massacre: Well at least there’s hope with the Aggression title match.

Linzi Martin: Yeah! That should be awesome!

Mikey Massacre: Is Lisa Seldons reign finally over tonight?

Linzi Martin: Never! Lisa Forever!

Mikey Massacre: Right… I forgot, you’re a dimwit.

Linzi Martin: Hey, I have lots of wit! Besides, only lights get dim! Silly!

*****The Wolf and The Eagle*****

It’s all about progression…

Or so the song says, as “On To The Next One” by Jay-Z is picked up by the camera’s microphone as we open up backstage. The silhouette on the wall paints a picture of someone deep into a pre-match workout session. Ear buds blast out sound loud enough to where no speakers are needed. The camera flips around barely catching whoever the man working out is, and instead lands on Mr. Rebel Pro himself, Simon Kalis. A voice picks up, and is immediately recognizable…

Thunderwolf: Aaron Simon Kalis…

There’s a pause, followed by a smirk as the camera pans around to catch Dustin Kelser throwing a towel up to wipe the sweat off his head …

Thunderwolf: It’s been a minute, my friend.

Simon Kalis: A very long minute, I’d say.

Simon extends his hand out for a shake. Thunderwolf first takes out his ear buds, then accepts and pulls Kalis in to his chest for a quick bump. He throws the towel to the side and takes a step back, grabbing for a SoBe vitamin water out of his Night of Armageddon Five themed cooler.

Thunderwolf: Want one?

Simon Kalis: No that’s cool. I’ll stick to my regiment of cigarettes and cognac.

Simon laughs, taking a step forward and looking Thunderwolf up and down.

Simon Kalis: Time has been a lot kinder to you, than it has to me. You’re still in tip top fighting condition.

Thunderwolf chuckles to himself.

Thunderwolf: Thanks, unfortunately I’m still getting used to the new knee. Was kind of necessity after all, I mean taking a loss to Matthew Engel? That’s rough. Maybe not to some of these new cats, but to people like yours truly – it’s a mar on the record I won’t soon forget.

He pauses for a moment.

Thunderwolf: So to what do I owe your presence? Been plenty of opportunities to shoot the shit before I came over to your neck of the woods. Something tells me your not here for a pat on the back and a pinch on the cheek.

Kalis rubs the back of his neck and then shrugs, aware of the truth in Thunderwolf’s words.

Simon Kalis: Yeah, I know. I’ve been busy, I’m sure you noticed all the shit I’ve gotten myself into since finally coming to the AoWF. Even as old as I am in this line of work, I’m still learning.

Kalis pulls up a steel chair, unfolding it and sitting down quite casually.

Simon Kalis: What I’m doing here is building a new legacy. I am taking REBEL Pro to new heights, from a three state independent organization into a national, and eventually worldwide, standard of wrestling. In no uncertain terms, the more drastic and extreme aspects of this sport. I need a face, I need an icon Dustin. That icon is you.

With a flicker of the eyes Dustin sighs and takes a drink of his water, regret written within his voice; he almost mumbles.

Thunderwolf: I can’t.

Kalis leans back, making a “tch” sound with his mouth as he shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: Can’t? Or won’t?

It’s obvious Thunderwolf doesn’t want to go into the spiel. They’re watching. They’re always watching.

Thunderwolf: Can’t. As in I’m both contractually and honorably obligated to not sign a singles contract with any individual promotion. Indy-style exhibition events, tag matches, that sort of thing? I can kind of skirt the issue on. Beyond that, my hands are tied behind my back.

Kalis puts his hands on his knees as he leans forward, lowering his head but nodding.

Simon Kalis: I understand. But do not for an instance forget my guile and cunning, old friend.

Kalis leans back again, a new smile over his face as he taps his head.

Simon Kalis: There is always a way.

A little bit of anger picks up in his voice, not at Simon, but at the situation at hand.

Thunderwolf: Yeah, but at what cost? You saw what they did to my…

He pauses choosing the adjective, but instead just goes with the name.

Thunderwolf: Her, you saw what they did to ‘her’. What’s next, my kids? I used to be a very integral part of their operation, I know how they work.

There’s still regret written upon his face, he wants a contract.

Thunderwolf: Look man, if I could help you out I would – but this idea? It goes no further than this conversation. Alright?

Kalis nods, although he shows a bitter taste in his mouth he fully understands.

Simon Kalis: We’ve all got our demons.

Kalis opens the suit jacket he has on, revealing the skull emblem of the Order on the inside pocket.

Simon Kalis: I know. The difference between you and me though?

Kalis sits up but tips his head in respect to Thunderwolf.

Simon Kalis: I am the master of my domain.

He doesn’t understand. No one could understand.

Simon Kalis: You know I’ve got your back if you need it.

Simon turns around to leave but stops dead in his tracks.

Simon Kalis: Oh, and tell Corey I said hello.

He cracks a grin. Thunderwolf shoots him one back and goes back to the music.

*****AoWF Tag Team League Match*****
*****The (Super) Power Couple versus Corey Lazarus & Thunderwolf*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is an AoWF Tag Team League match!

The lights in the arena die, and the REBELTron shows nothing but a black and white film countdown, the film flickering and a beep heard after every digit.

A trio of drumrolls cue up Slayer’s “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” and the guitars ring as the bass carries the main melody. Chug-chug-chug-chug goes both guitars before going into the main melody along with the bass, and, at the 27-second mark, Corey Lazarus and Gregory Price emerge from the entrance curtain, with Price chomping away on a stick of gum in his mouth as Corey sips on a bottle of Aquafina. Laz’s eyes, as usual, stay hidden behind his trademark pair of silver-rimmed Ray Ban’s, and he hangs his arms at his sides after he runs his fingers over his moustache and goatee. 

~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby!=~
Jenny Jersey: Introducing at this time, accompanied by Gregory Price…

Lazarus steps further onto the stage, turning around slowly to take a quick look at the ADC-Tron before stopping at the end of the stage, his back to the ramp and the ring before turning around. Price pats his client on the shoulder, and then looks at the ADC-Tron with him as Corey cracks his neck to either side, stretching out and jogging in place.

~=Don’t you know that I love you?!=~
Jenny Jersey: He weighs in tonight at 230 pounds…

~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey!=~
~=Don’t you know that I’ll ALWAYS be true?!=~
Jenny Jersey: And standing at 6-foot-1…

Lazarus continues to jog in place at the end of the stage as the guitars duel into the start of the first chorus, shaking out his limbs, and then throws a few shadow punches and kicks into the air.

~=Oh, won’t you come with me?=~
~=And take my hand?=~
Price points up at the ADC-Tron, focusing everybody’s attention to more clips of Laz’s glory: dropping Demise head-first into a casket via the Mercury Driver to claim the PWA World Heavyweight title at High Stakes ’08; drilling Riona Langly with a picture-perfect example of the Sands of Ishtar for his first Intercontinental title at Genesis IX; dropping Thunderwolf down with the Box Office Bomb to claim the first fall in their classic 2/3 Falls match at Genesis X; and, most recently, sending Cody Bogard through the Million Dollar Pyramid on the 8/9/2010 edition of Chaos.

~=Oh, won’t you come with me?!=~
~=And walk this land?!=~
Jenny Jersey: Hailing from Hollywood, California…

The guitars divebomb, and Laz starts making his way down the ramp, looking out around the arena, spying on every bit of the crowd in front of him.

~=PLEASE, TAKE MY HAND!!=~
The drums beat along as Corey bangs his head with them and the main melody of the song returns, Lazarus taking a sip from his Aquafina as he stops halfway down the ramp.

~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby!=~
~=Don’t you know that I love you?!=~
Jenny Jersey: Hailing from Hollywood, California…

Laz jaws with some fans in the front row before turning back around to watch himself on the ADC-Tron, his trademark devilish smirk on his face as he walks backwards down the ramp.

Jenny Jersey: He is “The Premiere Attraction”…

~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey!=~
~=Don’t you know that I’ll ALWAYS be true?!=~
Corey turns around to face the ring as they reach the bottom of the ramp, the guitars dueling before the chorus, and then pulls himself up onto the apron, placing one foot in the ring between the top and middle ropes, using one hand to hold the top rope for balance and the other to cover his eyes as he scans the crowd again. Price walks over to the ringsteps, scaling them with a cocky swagger as he walks onto the apron next to Laz.

Jenny Jersey: …COREY LAZARUS!!!

~=Oh, won’t you come with me?!=~
~=And take my hand?!=~
Lazarus steps into the ring and then walks to the middle of the ring, his hands on his hips and his trademark devilish smirk on his face. Price steps in afterwards, pointing the entire time to his client, applauding him. The music keeps pounding away as Corey drops to a knee, his head bowed and a single fist placed on the mat, his other hand resting on his knee.

~=Oh, won’t you come with me?!=~
~=And walk this land?!=~
The guitars divebomb again as Lazarus bobs his head to the beat of the drums, breathing heavier and heavier as he does so.

~=PLEASE, TAKE MY HAND!!=~
Corey leaps to his feet as the main riff returns at the end of the chorus, his arms spread out to his side after he rips his Ray Ban’s off, turning his body around to all sides of the arena as flashbulbs go off everywhere. “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” fades into silence as Corey backs up to his corner, removing his Ray Ban’s and handing them off to Price. He adjusts the tape on his hands and then stretches his legs out, using the middle ropes, before shadow-boxing. Gregory steps out onto the apron and walks down the steps, taking his place at ringside in Laz’s corner.

Linzi Martin: Hot! Hot! HOT!

Mikey Massacre: I take it you find him attractive?

Linzi Martin: Well… Who doesn’t?

Mikey Massacre: I don’t.

The sound of the mighty Atlantic crashing into one of the many shores of Bermuda purges through the sound system, and with that comes the sound of a single seagull… The lights begin melding into a beautiful aqua blue, and as most of the fans divert their attention to the screen above the scaffold to see what’s going on, a simple drum tap and bassline begin to kick into gear – a number of fans from this promotion, at least some of them, and especially those of the old school AOWF persuasion, should all ready know what to expect….

“Now or Never”. Dope. The fans that get it are automatically launching out fanfare, and while it’s meshed inbetween a number of cheer’s, but mostly boo’s for tonight’s match up, it comes across loud and clear in what could be described as at least somewhat of a massive cult roar, especially from those faithfuls….

### What’d you go and do that for? ###
### I see the way you’re Looking at me… ###
### …And I don’t know why ###

### I don’t know and I’m not sure… ###
### …Have you lost your way? ###
### …Did You Lose Your Mind? ###
### …Are You Out of Time? ###

The last note of the aforementioned song seems to catch, right on the 30 second mark as aqua-toned fountains of sulfur pour down from the scaffold – which in turn cues a dimly lit spot light on the entry way as former AOWF alumni, Dustin “Thunderwolf” Kelser strolls out from the back. The screen above him begins ticking off various moments from Wolf’s career as the camera gets a close up on the video, but doesn’t last for long as the camera tilts back down to catch the two passing under an aqua sulfuric storm from the scaffold.

JENNY JERSEY: He hails from Tucker’s Town, Bermuda…

### You say goodbye… ###
### Like everything’s all right. ###

### You say goodbye…. ###
### Like everything’s all right… ###

Thunderwolf’s attire consists of camel colored cargos, an open, short sleeve, button down silk shirt (cadet blue in color), black and blue K-Swiss classics (laced up in blue), and a pair of super thin, black, finger tip gloves. He adjusts his color before heading to the center of the entry way.

### If we go on it’s now or never ###
### If we go on… ###

?

JENNY JERSEY: He is a PWA Hall of Famer and former two-time AoWF Intercontinental Champion… standing in tonight at 5’11″ and weighing in at 194 pounds…

### If we go on it’s now or never ###
### If we go on… ###

JENNY JERSEY: He is… DUSTIN… “THUNDERWOLF”…. KELSER!

Thunderwolf slides into the ring and nods in Corey Lazarus’ direction as both men now begin discussing their strategy in their corner.

Mikey Massacre: I get the strangest feeling this match won’t take as long as it did for these two outsider knuckleheads to get to the ring. These PWA guys have such a flare for the dramatic.

Linzi Martin: They’re awesome!

Mikey Massacre: Here in REBEL Pro, they’re prey.

You were expecting the sound of the opening bell to start off this epic showdown which will probably turn into an eight minute bloodbath as Stutterfly and Spykeman! don’t really stand a chance. But it isn’t the bell. It’s a chorus from “Sympathy from the Devil” performed by Guns N’ Roses.

[just as every cop's a criminal]

[and all the sinners saints]

[as heads is tails just call me Lucifer]

['cause i'm in need... of some restraint]

The PWA World Champion walks out from behind the curtain, dressed in a fine black tailored suit and has the PWA World Championship over his shoulder. He walks down to the ring, with a microphone in his hand. He receives an ovation from the crowd as they remember his delightfully painful battle with Teresa Quaranta on the fourth of July. He was definitely getting paid overtime for that.

Linzi Martin: What’s HE doing here?

Mikey Massacre: He’s got a lot of history with one of these teams here tonight.

The music dies down as Matthew Engel steps into the ring much to the surprise of both Corey Lazarus and Thunderwolf. They really don’t know what to expect as Engel lifts the microphone up to his lips. The crowd is going nuts, having three PWA Hall of Famers of such amazing caliber in the ring at once.

Matthew Engel: I’m here to put some people’s egos on the line.

The crowd cheers, Wolf cocks his head a little bit.

Matthew Engel: Not you, Dustin. I already own yours.

Wolf shakes his head, pointing at his knee.

Matthew Engel: Oh it’s all better now? Wittle Thunderwolf can come out to play?

Lazarus has a ‘What the fuck?’ look on his face.

Matthew Engel: You know how long it’s been, Cor? Over two and a half years.

We can see Lazarus mouth “Since when?”

Matthew Engel: Since Ground Zero. Since you eliminated me from the Dome of Destruction match. You go back a little earlier and it’s been a tad longer since you cost me my championship match against SNS at Good versus Evil and stole the World Championship. This World Championship, to be exact.

He drops it down from his shoulder and holds it out in front of Corey.

Matthew Engel: Shiny isn’t it? Fun fact: I’ve held this title longer this year than the two of you held it together. I’m here to put zero doubt to the fact that I’m better than both of you since that statement alone won’t be enough with two elite superstars like yourselves. Trust me, this isn’t a grudge thing. I mean, I understand what you did back then, Corey. I don’t sweat over it. And I understand why Dustin was in the position he was back in April. Believe it or not, Dustin will always be family to me. And Corey? You’ll always be that kid that I hated at first but grew to like and do some good business with. Which is why I’m here.

The L-A-Z pays close attention, while Thunderwolf begins to shadowbox.

Matthew Engel: Wow, really? Right in the middle of my speech here?

Wolf shrugs his shoulders and then leans against the ropes. The Super Power Couple is a little flustered by all this real star power.

Matthew Engel: You pick the time and place, Corey. I want you in a singles match, settle the rivalry. I’ll show the world that out of us three, I’ll always be the best. So whether it’s at the next BWF pay-per-view, if there is one, or at Rebel Pro’s next event, or wherever… it’s up to you man. I know you’re a busy guy, trying to live a life of luxury and still keep your technique sharp. So you let me know when your schedule frees up and I’ll give you a tougher fight than Dustin did at Genesis.

Wolf and Laz look at each other with wide eyes.

Matthew Engel: Oh, yes, I went there. Let me know. Have a good fight! Don’t hurt these kids too bad.

Engel smirks and tosses the mic out of the ring, exiting the ring himself. He walks up the rampway to the roaring of the crowd as the L-A-Z looks on, with Thunderwolf waiting for the bell. Engel stops and looks up at the two massive limestone statues of Lisa Seldon overlooking the arena and the ring, scoffs and shakes his head as he disappears backstage.

Linzi Martin: I can’t believe it! We’re going to witness a third match between Corey Lazarus and Matthew Engel!

Mikey Massacre: Who said we are? It could happen anywhere, and if Laz doesn’t want to do it, it may never happen! It’s speculative! I hate being teased!

Suddenly the arena lights dim, and a single spotlight hit’s the Superdome’s roof with the Spyke Signal! The crowd begins to cheer wildly and the lights turn on and suddenly Spykeman! And Stutterfly are already in the ring and begin brawling with Lazarus and Thunderwolf!

DING DING DING

Corey Lazarus successfully dodges a few lefts and rights from Spykeman! Before grabbing him by the neck and throwing him into the corner turnbuckle. Spykeman sits up onto the top turnbuckle and flies off with a missile dropkick that catches Lazarus hard in the mouth. Meanwhile Thunderwolf has Stutterfly locked into a dragon sleeper hold, wearing her down as he brings her down to the canvas and applies continuous pressure. Stutterfly tries fighting her way out of it by elbowing Thunderwolf in the ribs but he doesn’t relent.

Mikey Massacre: Tag team matches in REBEL Pro are the best, precisely because we do away with those dumb rules in the rest of the wrestling world. It’s always a tornado tag match here!

Linzi Martin: Those superheroes look like they need some saving! Thunderwolf looking strong with that sleeper hold on the dumb girl one.

Lazarus wasn’t knocked to his feet and Spykeman! Is up, silly enough to attempt to strike at the best striker in AoWF history, Corey fucking Lazarus! Corey Lazarus is swift as he slides away from each strike from Spykeman!, reversing them and throwing Spykeman! Into the ropes. As Spykeman! Comes back Lazarus unleashes a heavy and swift barrage of strikes, landing stiff hits into Spykeman!’s neck, face, chest and stomach. The fans can’t even keep track, while meanwhile the referee checks on Stutterfly to see if she’s passed out. Lazarus lets up, showing some mercy as Spykeman! HIt’s the canvas dazed. Thunderwolf lifts Stutterfly to her feet and then suplexes her whilst still having her in the dragon sleeper hold, onto the back of her neck to the canvas. Spykeman! Knows what to do in a REBEL Pro match and slides out of the ring to regain his composure and look for weapons.

Mikey Massacre: Spykeman! With the smart strategy. He knows his team can’t out wrestle both legendary guys in Thunderwolf and Lazarus, so he’s going to take advantage of the relaxed rules here.

Linzi Martin: I’m starting to feel sorry for Stutterfly…

Stutterfly crawls away from them and has a chair handed to her by Spykeman! From the outside of the ring. She flips herself onto her back and puts the chair up to block a kick from Thunderwolf. She bashes the chair into Thunderwolf’s knees, sending him into the ropes and holding on in a bit of pain. Corey Lazarus waits for her to get to her feet, but doesn’t see Spykeman! Climbing onto the apron behind him with a big cinder block in his hands Spykeman! Lumbers up to the top rope and tries to balance himself as Stutterfly pretends to be in fear of Lazarus. Thunderwolf yells out as Spykeman! Jumps off the top rope, and Lazarus ducks and rolls out of the way of the cinder block.

Mikey Massacre: That’s where team work comes into play.

Linzi Martin: Ye- OH NO LOOK OUT!

Spykeman! Immediately spins himself around and throws the cinder block at Thunderwolfs head, cracking it to pieces and sending Thunderwolf out of the ring inbetween the ropes. Sadly for Thunderwolf, the middle rope here in REBEL Pro is now made out of a thick band of barbed wire and his legs, above the knee, get sliced and stuck to it as he hangs out over the apron upside down. Stutterfly gets to her feet and goes to hit Lazarus with the chair, but Lazarus dodges that shit like the Matrix son, grabs her from behind and puts her into a Full Nelson before suplexing her super girl ass to the canvas. Spykeman! Is busy trying to deal with Thunderwolf as he climbs to the top rope. Thunderwolf puts his hands against the apron and side of the ring, pushing himself up and leaving himself ready to take the awkward leg drop Spykeman! Hits from the top rope, forcefully slamming Twolf’s face against the side of the ring. But it does free him from his entanglement in the barbed wire, and Thunderwolf falls to the outside of the ring. Corey Lazarus meanwhile, covers Stutterfly in the ring!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Stutterfly kicks out right after the two as Thunderwolf brings himself to his feet on the outside. Spykeman! Charges him but Thunderwolf grabs him and whips him shoulder/head first right into the steel steps, causing a loud thud! Corey Lazarus grapples with Stutterfly and snap suplexes her right over the steel chair. Thunderwolf grabs the steel steps and rips off the top half, lifting it up and dropping it on Spykeman!’s head. Ouch. Thunderwolf rolls back into the ring and grabs Stutterfly. He puts her into a cobra clutch hold. Lazarus comes up, grabs her legs up onto one shoulder, and they twist so Corey drops her with a Cobra Clutch Bulldog and Wolf forces her knees into the canvas.

Mikey Massacre: That was BRUTAL!

Linzi Martin: But Spykeman! Is coming to on the outside!

Lazarus covers Stutterfly now.

1!

Thunderwolf sees Spykeman! And tries to lunge at the ropes.

2!!

Spykeman springboards himself off the top rope.

THREE- SPYKEMAN WITH A SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT ONTO LAZARUS BREAKS THE COUNT! YEAAAAAAAH BOY!!!!!!!!

Spykeman is to his feet, rolls away and grabs that steel chair. He jumps up, Corey Lazarus comes at him. Spykeman! Fakes a swing, Lazarus dodges it but Spykeman! Continues and spins 180 degrees and cracks Lazarus in the back of the head with all his strength. Lazarus falls forward, face first into the middle ropes. Did we mention those middle RPW ropes are barbed fucking wire? Yeah, ouch. Thunderwolf rushes at Spykeman who cracks him in the ribs with the steel chair, then cracks him gain over the head. Stutterfly is up and runs at Thunderwolf from behind, jumping and grabbing his face as Spykeman! Holds the chair out. She hit’s a face buster on Thunderwolf, onto the chair and ends up driving both into the canvas HARD. Stutterfly covers!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Mikey Massacre: Thunderwolf won’t go down that easy.

Linzi Martin: It sucks he refused to sign with REBEL Pro! He’d make a great competitor here.

Mikey Massacre: He didn’t refuse. He just said he can’t. There’s a difference, Linzi.

Stutterfly begins stomping down all over Thunderwolfs chest, neck and face as Spykeman! Bashes his legs and knees repeatedly with the steel chair. Lazarus gets to his feet and and scoops Spykeman! Away with a firemans carry slam to the canvas. Stutterfly rolls away from Thunderwolf as everyone seems to catch their breath. Thunderwolf is in some hurt, but he nods at Lazarus as he gets to his feet. Stutterfly goes for a leaping clothesline on Corey as Corey backs himself into the ropes, on purpose, and catches Stutterfly, they both get flipped over the top rope and to the outside.

Mikey Massacre: While Spykeman! And Stutterfly seem to be putting up a good fight, no one can deny that the team of Lazarus and Thunderwolf are putting on a clinic.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, you can say that again.

Mikey Massacre: While Spykeman! And Stutterfly seem to be putting up a good fight, no one can deny that the team of Lazarus and Thunderwolf are putting on a clinic.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, you can say that again.

Thunderwolf holds his knee, troubled. Or is he feigning severe pain? Spykeman! Lifts Thunderwolf up by the neck, and that’s when Thunderwolf goes all Wolf’s Bane on Spykeman!, spitting a blue mist into Spykeman!’s eyes! Lazarus throws Stutterfly right over the barricade and into a group of fans who begin snapping photos of her. Lazarus slides in with Spykeman! Dazed and confused, COMBO #5!!! It’s not over as Thunderwolf grabs onto Spykeman! And hit’s the Vapor Transmission RIGHT ONTO THAT STEEL CHAIR!

Mikey Massacre: Whoa! What a 720 DDT!

Thunderwolf covers, as Stutterfly gets towards the ring apron on the outside.

1!

Stutterfly tries to get into the ring but Lazarus kicks her in the face, sending her tumbling back to the outside.

2!!

Linzi Martin: Oh man.

3!!!

DING DING DING

Lazarus and Thunderwolf have their arms raised by the referee.

Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match, Corey Lazarus and Thunderwolf!

Mikey Massacre: That was a hell of a victory, folks.

Linzi Martin: Those guys rock! They should totally sign to REBEL Pro!

Mikey Massacre: For once, we agree Linzi.

*****A Bullet With Your Name On It(REBEL Pro Edition!)*****

Jeremy Gold: Oh, shit… oh, shit shit shit shit shit… OH SHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT…

We open up on Jeremy Gold, sitting at his desk in the Manager’s Office. His face is buried in his palms, and he continues to curse himself. There is a sound heard off-camera, which brings Jeremy to stir as the door is opened.

Jeremy Gold: DON’T BOTHER M…

In walks Simon Kalis, who appears unaware of the situation. He steps in, looking skeptically at Gold.

Simon Kalis: Seriously, Jeremy. Settle down. We’re doing well and there’s n…

Simon suddenly trips, hitting the floor. He looks up… and a bullet whizzes past his face. He looks at Gold, who is mortified.

Simon Kalis: WHAT THE FUCK, JEREMY?!

Jeremy Gold: I swear to god, Simon… I didn’t…

Simon stands, starting towards Gold.

Simon Kalis: You’d better have a DAMN good explana…

Again, Simon seems to trip. He catches himself this time, looking at the floor. A small wire is extended across the floor, right about ankle level. Simon looks at Gold, confused.

Simon Kalis: What the f…

Suddenly, bullets rain down from the ceiling, filling the room. Simon looks to Jeremy for an explanation, and finds him cowering below the desk. Simon looks up, finding a large empty space where the vent door should be. He looks around himself, finding thousands of bullets surrounding him. He walks over, dragging Jeremy out from beneath the desk.

Simon Kalis: WHERE. THE FUCK. IS HE?!

Jeremy cowers, shaking his head. A sound is heard behind Kalis, and Simon turns. A large white cloth lays out over the bullets, and Kalis moves to read the writing on the banner.

“THOUGHT YOU’D LIKE THESE BACK. OH, AND BRIAN SAYS HI.”

Kalis’ eyes grow wide with rage, as he sees a picture of Lucious and Brian, both waving. He turns to Jeremy, looking for answers- but Gold has disappeared. Kalis works his way through the bullets, heading out to the hallway and towards the parking lot.

*****The Brand*****

Simon seems to be searching for something in his fancy smancy car, the radio blasting out some hip hop rap music. The engine dies and the music quits as the door is opened and Simon Kalis steps out, sliding his 9mm Beretta into his waistline. Kalis places the keys in his front pocket as he continues the song with his own voice and throwing up gang signs with his hands.

Simon Kalis: If you blood, throw it up! If you blood, throw it up! If you blood, throw it up!

Reaching the door, he stops suddenly, his instincts of years of training kicking in, but just a bit too late. Simon spins around, causing the lead pipe to glance off the side of his head. Simon kicks out but Bubba J smashes his foot down on the side of Simon’s knee before slamming the pipe into the back of his skull. Simon goes down, but fights back up through a strong will and determination. J nails hiim right in the heart with the taser that they’ve used since Rebel Pro’s Birthday Bash and Simon goes down heavily.

Bubba J: “Now Simon, we build this thing up right.”

Simon can only look up to Bubba J, unable to fight back as J pulls out a long rope and two sets of handcuffs. Bubba J holds them up in front of Simon.

Bubba: “I’d say that I really hate to do this to you on such a big show, but I’d be fucking lying.”

J nails him in the face for good measure, Simon’s eyes rolling up into the back of his head. J looks around, spotting no one, he cuffs Simon’s feet and hands around a light pole, using the rope to pull them as tight as he can.

J: Now Simon, you had to know that I wouldn’t let this die down and go away, I’m not that kinda loving guy.”

He spits on Simon’s face before ripping his shirt down, the buttons flying. J digs in his bag pulling out a cow brand, with two Rs back to back. Placing his hand back into his bag, he pulls out a butane torch and turns the knob, releasing the gas; he also pulls a lighter from his right front pocket and lights the flame. After several moments, the brand is red hot and Bubba J turns the torch off, bringing the brand up to Simon’s chest, right over his heart. Bubba J speaks in the voice of Hannibal, from the original A-team television series.

Bubba: “Now, this is gonna sting a little bit.”

J laughs as he shoves the red hot branding iron right over Simon’s heart, causing the flesh to seer, its sizzling, a tiny stream of smoke is rising up, and Simon wakes up and is screaming bloody murder(its painful as hell). J laughs as he punches Simon in the face one more time before removing the branding iron. He gently slaps Simon’s sweaty face, that stares up at him in hatred.

Bubba: “Thanks for being such a sweatheart.”

J pours a bottle of water over the iron, cooling it off before replacing it in the bag along with all of his other utensiles of branding. He turns back to Simon, pulling out a pack of smokes and placing two in his mouth, he lights them up. Bubba J places one in Simon’s mouth.

Bubba: “Until someone finds ya, don’t drop it though, cause you can’t pick it up.”

He laughs before walking away into the arena with his bag and smoke curling up from the tip of his cigarette. Simon looks after him with hatred and extreme loathing. We fade to the office of General Manager Jeremy Gold, who’s surrounded by security and trying not to burst into tears.

Jeremy Gold: This night is so fucked.

*****Barbed Wire Cage for the Number One Contendership to Tag Titles*****
*****Hardcore Entertainment versus Gabe Shelley & Alexia Fender*****

JENNY JERSEY: The following match is set for one fall, with no time limit, and is contested inside of a barbed wire steel cage for the #1 Contendership to the Rebel Pro World Tag Team Championship!

“Reign of Terror” hits up in the speakers as the crowd gives another mixed reaction to the duo walking from the back, some throw trash but some cheer for the two, while the rest look like they are trying to decide. Bubba J and Vincent Black walk out and stare up at the barbed wire steel chage that surrounds the entire ringside area and both… smile?

JENNY JERSEY: At a total combined weight of five hundred and ninety-one pounds, the team of Bubba J and Vincent Black… HARDCORE ENTERTAINMENT!

Bubba J holds the door open and runs his fingers along the barbed wire lovingly as Vincent does the same thing and both men enter the cage and into the ring.

“Better than Revenge(Alexia Fender version)” by Taylor Swift hits up in the speakers and the crowd go wild for her as she steps to the top of the entrance ramp and waits. Inside the ring Black and J are begging for her to come on and get in the ring.
“In Fate’s Hands” by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus hits up and the crowd doesn’t die down at all as Gabe Shelley walks from the back, stepping up beside his tag team partner.

JENNY JERSEY: At a total combined weight of three hundred and seventy pounds… the team of ALEXIA FENDER AND GABE SHELLEY!

Fender and Shelley make their way to the door, into the cage, and up into the ring, neither taking their eyes off their opponents.

DING DING

All four members in this match stand in the ring, each staring at the other, Bubba J’s eyes wondering down to Alexia’s breasts and a bit lower, but at least he’s still trying to intimidate someone. The referee looks at both teams and decides that he’d better get out of the way. All four come together in the center of the ring, Black nails Fender with a big boot to the face, but she ducks under clipping him in the side of the right knee with a side stomp and he is on one knee. J comes together with Shelley who nails him with right after right hand backing him into the ropes and unceremonously dumping him overboard and to the floor below. Shelley steps through the ropes and down to where Bubba J is shoving himself up. Gabe bends down, but a beer bottle is brought right up into his face and he stumbles back as J presses his advantage, along with the sharp end of the bottle, into Gabe’s body outside the ring. Meanwhile inside the ring Black has Alexia in the corner and is pounding her with continuous high knees into her sternum, taking the breath out of her and hopefully the fight as well. Black yanks her out of the corner, by the hair on her head, before bringing her to position for the New Hope early in the match. Gabe nails him in the midsection with a kendo stick and Alexia falls off, bringing Black down with a smooth transitioning DDT onto a steel chair that Gabe has set there.

MIKEY MASSACRE: What a smooth transition there and counter.

LINZI MARTIN: She’s a woman, do you honestly expect anything different?

Alexia makes the first cover of the match.

One!

Two!

J comes off the ropes with a boot right to the side of Alexia’s face before spinning and ducking under a clothesline from Gabe. J nails him in the kidneys with a right fist that doubles him over before bouncing his foot right off the side of Gabe’s head.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Bubba J in there with the save, close call though.

LINZI MARTIN: Do you see all the blood on Bubba’s face? What happened?

MIKEY MASSACRE: I think a fan handed Gabe a set of thumbtack covered brass knuckles through the cage, or they may have been broken glass covered, I’m not sure.

J bends down, pulling Gabe up to his feet, but Gabe nails J right in the balls with a double fist that doubles J over and he appears to be turning a bit green. Gabe with a neckbreaker takes full advantage and mounts Bubba J with right and left punches to the face and temple. Black comes off the ropes, but Alexia is there to stop him, but Black leap frogs her nailing Gabe in the side with a field goal kick that would have been good from 60 yards away.

LINZI MARTIN: And its… leaning to the right… to the right… its good!

MIKEY MASSACRE: uncalled for.

LINZI MARTIN: And the Cowboys win!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Probably their only game all year.

Gabe rolls over and Black is on top of him with stomps and kicks to the ribs before concentrating on his bad knee. Black grabs the ankle, stomping down on the side of Gabe’s knee, making the former BWF World Champion sweat from the pain Black is putting him through. Bubba J rolls up to his knees then to his feet, but only to be tackled from behind by Alexia and she quickly locks on a crossface.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And Bubba J is sacked for a 10 yard loss.

LINZI MARTIN: This is wrestling Massacre, not the NFL.

Alexia releases the hold pulling J up to his feet, but J swings a haymaker, Alexia ducking underneath nailing him with a series of five kicks to the ribs and kidneys that send him stumbling back into the corner. Alexia runs at J, leaping to the middle rope, to the top rope, and catching him with a kick to the head before springing around and bringing him to center ring with a hurricanrana!

MIKEY MASSACRE: My gawd at her speed and agility!

LINZI MARTINIf only guys could last as long as her.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Hu… what?

Black lifts his foot to stomp down for who knows how many times, Alexia rolls over, springing up with a knee into Black’s side that sends him through the ropes to the outside. Gabe pulls himself up to his feet as Alexia launches herself over the top rope with a suicide dive onto Black that catches him around the head, pulling him down into a neckbreaker on the concrete floor. J gets up to his feet, blood pouring down his face as he turns around right into the steel chair shot to J’s face that rocks him backwards in a stumbling walk. Gabe with a second shot, and a third finally has Bubba J in the corner.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Bubba J has a second match tonight, if he’s able to compete in it.

LINZI MARTIN: Oh, he’ll be there cause I promised him a date if he wins.

Gabe swings the chair again, but drops it right before hitting Bubba J with it, instead booting him in the gut and lifting him up onto the top rope. Gabe follows him up after tossing the chair about a third of the way across the ring and places Bubba J inposition for a powerbomb onto the chair. On the outside of the ring Alexia nails Black repeatedly in the face with knees and a sole kick right to his mouth that rocks the big man backwards on his knees. But when he looks back, there is a smile on his face as he wipes the blood from his lips, Alexia’s back is to him from the momentum of the kick. Black stands up, running and delivering a bulldog to Alexia that has her on the concrete floor. Black turns to look at Bubba J who is taking the chair shots from Gabe right now. Black whips Alexia into the ring apron before catching her rebound and whipping her into the barbed wire covered cage wall. Alexia arches her back upon impact and stumbles forward right into a high angle spinebuster from Black that causes Alexia to close her eyes in pain.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Gabe with the Jersey Bomb!

LINZI MARTIN: Looks like Bubba J won’t be getting that date after all.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Gabe with the cover.

One!

Two!

Black rips Gabe off of Bubba J nailing him with right after right, and mixing in a few left hooks for good measure.

LINZI MARTIN: Vincent is looking like a seven foot version of Rocky Balboa from the best film, the fourth one.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Nah, the first one was the best.

LINZI MARTIN: Nah, the third and second were better than the first one.

Gabe is stumbling back from the fists pounding into his face, his head rocking back with each and every blow that nails him. Bubba J starts to get up to his feet, but falls right back down, shaking his head as he finally gets to one knee. Gabe begins to fight back in the corner, showing the reserve and determination that has made him a champion in times past. Gabe with a right hook, then a left faint, before nailing Black in the side with another right hook. Black lifts a knee in Gabe’s guard, rocking him back into the corner nearly decapitating him with a clothesline.

BUBBA J: Watch out!

Black spins out of the way as J comes flying in with the dented steel chair knocking Gabe out of the ring and to the outside. J climbs up top, holding onto the now even bloodier chair but Black grabs his arm.

VINCENT: You know about your high flying ability.

J nods before shoving Black back, who smiles as J leaps off, bringing the chair down across Gabe’s face, knocking him into the cage.

MIKEY MASSACRE: That is one of the few, if not the first times Bubba J has completed a high risk move successfully.

J stalks over to Gabe, both men bleeding and J grinning as he goes in for the kill. J brings the chair up, but Gabe, somehow, reaches forward grabbing J’s pants and pulls him into the cage. J’s face smacks hard on a support beam, you guessed it, covered in barbed wire before falling backwards. Black spins around, right into a kendo stick shot from Alexia, but he ducks th second shot, but is unable to avoid a springboard fist to the face. Black falls backwards, using the momentum of the ropes to bounce back and nail Alexia with a forearm shot to the face sending her down. Black climbs to the top turnbuckle, jumps, flaps his arms like a bird, and lands a leg drop onto Alexia’s throat and stays for the cover.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Black mocking Gabe there with that specific type of a leg drop.

LINZI MARTIN: Black going for the cover.

One!

Two!

Thr

Shoulder up, Alexia got her shoulder up and this match continues. Black pulls her up to her feet before whipping her into the ropes, catching her with a big boot right to the face that spins her around like a top while she is still on her feet. Alexia seems to be out on her feet and Black is going to press his advantage. Shove into the corner and Black places a boot on her throat, completely legal here in Rebel Pro is this foot choke. However, it is also very legal for Gabe Shelley to nail Vincent in the back with a series of quick staples from a staple gun, which he does without hesitation. Gabe is pouring blood, and now Black has a few trickles from the punctures on his back.

LINZI MARTIN: Is Bubba J even moving?

MIKEY MASSACRE: He is still alive, but I’m not sure about the shape he’ll be in for the World Title match.

Gabe spins the big man around, boot to the gut and he struggles… he lifts… Alexia helps him and they have Black on Gabe’s shoulders… they drop him with a sit out powerbomb!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Gabe mocks right back with his version of the New Hope!

Alexia comes over for a roundhouse kick, but Bubba J nails her in the face with the bloody broken glass covered brass knuckles and knocks her out cold. J sprints, as much as he can anyways, into the ring as Gabe pins Black.

One!

Two!

Boot right to Gabe’s head, who rolls up to his feet and is ready for a fight. Gabe swings, but J nails him in the midsection with a boot and completes it with a Trailer Park Trash for the cover.

One!

Two!

Three!

DING DING DING

JENNY JERSEY: Winners of the match and NEEEEEW Rebel Pro #1 Contenders to the Tag Team Championship… the team of Vincent Black and Bubba J…. Hardcore Entertainment!

J smiles through his blood as he looks directly into the camera, flipping it the bird, and mouthing… “Fuck You Simon.”

*****Who Let HIM In?!*****

The camera comes up, Kalis in conference with an array of security, rubbing his chest and seething as the brand Bubba J left earlier still burns. He’s morbidly pissed, and it shows with every guard he throws into the wall with his hands wrapped around their neck.

Simon Kalis: Who the HELL let him in here? I swear to god, I’ll kill him, then I’ll kill whoever let him in… And does NO ONE watch the god damn parking lot? Do you see what that fucking redneck did to me?!

Guard: Sir, he just blasted through… we couldn’t stop him…

Simon Kalis: COULDN’T?! YOU COULDN’T STOP HIM?!

Guard 2: Sir, we thought he’d given up. He mounted his bike and blasted right through the door. We lost him once he got far up enough.

Simon looks on in rage at his security force, placing his hand on his head. He turns away, taking a deep breath, then turns back.

Simon Kalis: Have we located ANY sign of him?

Guard 3: We found his ducati. It was sitting right outside…

The guard pauses, Simon raising an eyebrow. He leans in, questioning.

Simon Kalis: Where?

Guard 4: Outside Lisa Seldon’s room, sir.

Kalis is taken aback, and he looks at the group. He shakes his head in disbelief, pondering.

Gurad 5: Sir, should we question Ms. Seldon…

Simon Kalis: No. I’ll go see Lisa. I want four of you at the entrance door. Two at the ducati. The rest of you, roaming. You are on full alert, is that understood? Apprehend Lucious and bring him to me. By any means necessary.

Guards: YES SIR!

Simon Kalis: For now, I’ve got some business to attend to at ringside…

The guards disperse, Kalis confused. He starts towards ringside as Masakazu meets up with him in the hall, wondering what the hell is going on.

*****The Capo Regime*****

The sounds of sirens begin wailing across the speakers, mixed with the sound of helicopters flying over ahead with sporadic gunfire in the background until there’s a massive explosion of fireworks at the entrance ramp.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing!

“Indestructible(The Order of Chaos Worldwide Theme Song)” by Disturbed hits and the crowd jumps to their feet as Simon Kalis and Masakazu step out with Jeremy Gold cowering behind them.

Jenny Jersey: Accompanied to the ring by the REBEL Pro General Manager! They are Masakazu! Simon Kalis! THE ORDER OF CHAOS!

The camera pans the crowd, showing many fans waving the burning skull emblem of The Order of Chaos. Jeremy Gold wipes the tears from his eyes before running backstage as Simon and Masakazu make their way to the ring, their stolen PWA Tag Team titles on their shoulders. Simon’s shirt is still ripped and we can see that he’s got a medical gauze wrapped where he was branded earlier tonight.

Linzi Martin: I can’t believe Bubba had the nerve to brand Simon like he was cattle! It’s kind of racist, actually.

Mikey Massacre: He got what he deserved.

Linzi Martin: What?! Why?!

Mikey Massacre: Why? I knew this was coming, Linzi. I knew it the moment Larry sold almost half of REBEL Pro to Simon Kalis. This was going to be funded by, in support of, their damned Order and be one massive scheme.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, so?! The PWA reached new heights of success under Simons regime! The only scheme here is that Simon wants REBEL Pro to become the crown jewel of the AoWF!

Mikey Massacre: Regime? You mean reign of terror.

Linzi Martin: Don’t forget who pays your cheque.

Mikey Massacre: Trust me, I haven’t.

Kalis and Masa enter the ring and stomp their feet, slap their chests and salute the sold out crowd here in New Orleans. The crowd cheers and screams for sheer, creepy, joy. They all salute back and begin chanting. Simon grabs a microphone and motions the crowd to quiet down as the music dies out.

Simon Kalis: It’s so good… For REBEL Pro… To FINALLY COME TO NEW ORLEANS!

The crowd cheers and go nuts, cause he mentioned their city! Yay!

Simon Kalis: This National Tour began with a vision. To expand REBEL Pros sphere of influence from the South across this entire great nation. To bring the fierciest brand of wrestling to the homes of millions of people across the nation, and even the world itself! And sure. Some people don’t like it. People fear change, after all. And just because REBEL Pro legends like Justin Case and Chad Kurtis are dying stars in a growing universe, I get the flak for it.

The crowd has a mixed reaction to that comment.

Simon Kalis: But they key to humanity is our ability to adapt. And it’s not my fault no one can adapt to a bunch of women coming into REBEL Pro and running ape shit all over the boys. For all these macho hardcore types like Bubba J, they’re the ones who look like they belong in the kitchen making me a god damn sandwich. Not Violet. Not Lisa. And definitely not Emily Corlen, cause she’d eat the fucking sandwich.

Simon and Masa laugh, as do the crowd.

Simon Kalis: But we’re not here for that. We’re here to spend some of the hundreds of millions of dollars we’ve got sitting in our Order of Chaos war chest. And truth be told, I think you’ve all done a wonderful job. From Jaice Wilds to Violet Harper, from Justin Case to Emily Corlen. Even you, Bobby Lee. So with that note, I’d like to give you guys a present. As of today, everyone on the REBEL Pro roster has been mailed a bonus cheque for $50,000!

The crowd erupts into cheers and we’re sure everyone backstage is surprised their salary just got tripled.

Linzi Martin: See! They’re not so bad!

Mikey Massacre: Bribery, nothing more Linzi.

Simon Kalis: That’s not all! See I noticed what’s gone on the last two weeks or so. Legions Church of Misery got destroyed…

The crowd cheers this news, but Simon merely winks into the camera.

Simon Kalis: And of course, Hardcore Drinking was also destroyed…

The crowd boos this news, but Simon merely smiles into the camera.

Simon Kalis: And it is with a humble heart, that I come out here to tell all of you that I’ve signed a big fat cheque to have it rebuilt.

The crowd cheers extremely loud.

Mikey Massacre: Wait have what rebuilt? Which one?

Kalis nods in Massacres direction, almost as if he heard him.

Simon Kalis: By it, I mean The Church of Misery and ONLY the Church of Misery! Better than EVER!

The crowd doesn’t seem too pleased with this, as they boo loudly.

Simon Kalis: What? You think I’m going to fucking help Bubba J and Vincent Black? These two scum of the EARTH?! Especially after Bubba thinks that branding me is somehow productive to his continued existence on this planet? No, far from it. If anyone has been paying attention, they’ll have noticed Legion repeatedly mention that he was sent here. He was sent to REBEL Pro.

Masakazu tries to hide his smile as he looks around at the crowd, but he’s doing a horrible job of it.

Simon Kalis: Well if you were paying attention you’d also know the same week that I took the helm of REBEL Pro from Larry Gordon? Was the same week Legion and his Church arrived in REBEL Pro. Truth be told? The man who sent Legion here? Was me.

The crowd gasps all at once, in shock.

Mikey Massacre: Dear god…

Linzi Martin: Oh Simon knows all the weirdest people doesn’t he?

Simon Kalis: Legion, and the Church of Misery will cleanse REBEL Pro with their fire. This is why I hereby declare the Church of Misery… The OFFICIAL religion of REBEL Pro. I hereby give Legion all rights, all freedom to go forth and burn and destroy each and every single one of you fucking sheep with no consequence to him or his Church whatsoever.

The crowd is almost silent, aside from some booing. They’re all in complete shock!

Linzi Martin: Whoa!

Mikey Massacre: …

Simon Kalis: It starts with the Extreme Elite! It started with Hostile?

Kalis seems to say it, as if asking a question as he smirks.

Simon Kalis: Soon Bubba J, Vincent Black. You’ll join Hostile in the depths of oblivion itself you little cockroaches. As of this moment, REBEL Pro will become a hell on earth. You missed the blood?! You missed the hardcore fucking violence?! Well I’ll show you all what the Kalis era of REBEL Pro will be come Aggression. So next week I give you my revenge! Justin Case, you want to call conspiracy like you’re Alex Jones or some shit? Fine! You get a handicap elimination match next week! It’ll be special.

Simon smirks, the crowd goes nuts.

Simon Kalis: And Bubba J wants to fuck around? Well you can face Vincent Black next week in a 2/3 falls match!

Mikey Massacre: Jesus, he’s going off.

Simon Kalis: That’s not it! If you lose Bubba, you have to kiss my bare butt naked ass cheeks at Aggression.

The crowd laughs, some cheer, some boo.

Linzi Martin: That would be strangely hot!

Simon Kalis: And if Vincent Black loses? Well the ownership of, and the deed to the land of Hardcore Drinking becomes mine. Simple as that.

Mikey Massacre: It’s official ladies and gentlemen. Simon is nuts.

Masakazu high fives his dad, and they both laugh.

Simon Kalis: That’s not all, folks! Next week? Legion faces Emily Corlen in what I’ve dubbed the FUCK YOU SPECIAL!

Kalis flips the bird to the camera.

Simon Kalis: I will referee this match. Legion need only pin Emily for two count to win. If Emily loses? She is stripped of her half of the REBEL Pro Tag Team titles and FIRED!

Linzi Martin: WHOA!

The whole crowd gasps, such shocking news!

Simon Kalis: If Legion wins? He’s the automatic number one contender to the REBEL Pro World Championship. That is of course, unless he wins the title tonight.

Mikey Massacre: This is madness.

Linzi Martin: Nope, like you once told me Mikey. This isn’t madness! This… Is…. REBEL Pro!

Simon Kalis: Take that to the bank, fuckers.

Kalis rolls his eyes, as Masakazu punches him in the arm for being so god damn awful as “Indestructible” hits again.

Linzi Martin: Wait, wait. What does this all mean? How can a wrestling company have an official religion?

Mikey Massacre: He wants to turn REBEL Pro into hell on earth? What the hell is this moron doing??? Look at all these matches he’s booked…

Simon and Masakazu both light cigarettes as they make their way up the entrance ramp, saluting the twin statues of Lisa Seldon as they laugh and head backstage.

*****Tables, Ladders & Chairs for the RPW Aggression Championship*****
*****Violet Harper© versus Jaice Wilds versus Legion versus Justin Case*****

With all four competitors in the ring, the crowd all rise to their feet. There are tables lined up, surrounding the ring on their sides against the barricade with ladders leaned up against those. A few ladders are already standing outside the ring, with one in the middle of the ring right beneath the REBEL Pro Aggression Championship. There are tables already set up, that surround the ring and chairs everywhere. Legion cracks his neck, Jaice moves and sways back and forth as he looks up at the title. Case smirks, pointing to himself and Violet looks all around.

Mikey Massacre: Now, she gets to prove if she deserves that title. Winning by default doesn’t cut it in my books. Now she faces looming odds.

Linzi Martin: You just don’t like the fact all of the REBEL Pro titles are held by women.

Mikey Massacre: Corlen is a woman?

DING DING DING

Everyone rushes for the ladder in the middle of the ring, except Justin Case who fakes a rush and then flips himself over the top rope and to the outside of the ring. Violet quickly stops, putting her hands up against the ladder and pushing herself away before she gets crushed by Legion. Jaice Wilds immediately hops up onto the ladder and begins climbing his little Brazilian self to the top. Legion grabs the ladder and begins shaking it and rocking it back and forth but Jaice manages to hold on. Violet stands back to watch, when she notices Justin Case is back. Case is climbing up a super tall ladder on the outside that puts him at even stance with the belt, with a big leap required to get to it. Case carefully balances himself on top of the ladder as Jaice hangs onto the ladder he’s on. Case flies off, into the ring, a missile fucking dropkick, right into the ladder, sending Jaice flying off outside of the ring on the opposite side and through a table! The crowd goes nuts, but Case falls into the ring with a big drop and lands right onto Legion who breaks his fall.

Linzi Martin: Did everyone just get destroyed within the first two minutes?

Mikey Massacre: And this match has only JUST begun, Linzi!

Jaice holds his head as he lays in the wreckage of that table, Legion pushes Justin Case off of him as Violet pushes the ladder in the ring back up and begins climbing as fast as she can. Legion sees this and quickly gets to his feet. Violet looks down and knows she can’t make it to the belt in time, before Legion sends her off like Jaice, so instead she jumps off near the top and falls with an elbow. Legion steps away and she lands right on Justin Case, the back of Case’s neck as he attempts to get to his feet. Case cringes, feeling it right into his spine. Legion then grabs Violet Harper from the back of her neck and hair and rips her to her feet. He wraps his big prophetic hand around her throat and lifts her with ease high into the air before throwing her out of the ring. Violet hit’s the apron and rolls off to the outside. Jaice is coming to on the outside and Case lifts himself up by the ropes.

Mikey Massacre: No surprise that Legion is the one standing.

Linzi Martin: Well d’uh he’s powered by evil or something, I think.

Legion grabs Justin Case by the legs and flips him over, but Case swiftly proceeds to kick Legion right in the face from the canvas. Jaice gets onto the apron and throws a chair into the ring. Case quickly rolls and grabs the chair, using it like a shield to protect himself from the heavy boots Legion is bringing down onto him. Violet slaps the apron, shaking her head as she watches all of this unfold. She grabs a chair herself and slides into the ring. Jaice gets onto the apron and Legion just punches him right back off of it, sending Jaice to the outside again. This gives Case and Violet time to get up on their feet, and both swing their chairs at Legion’s masked face. There’s a huge clink as the chairs crunch Legions face and smash each other at the same time. Legion is still standing though, only stumbling a bit. Case and Harper smash their chairs against his face again but again Legion is only stumbling. Wilds slides back into the ring with his next chair in hand and joins the fray, and all three smash their chairs at Legions head and Legion finally stumbles towards the ropes. Wilds springboards himself off the top rope, spins and hit’s a heel kick that sends Legion over the top rope. Harper immediately spins herself and tries to hit Case with her chair, but Case ducks, hit’s a super kick then implant DDTs Violet Harper onto his downed chair.

Mikey Massacre: Everyone is getting a piece of everyone here.

Linzi Martin: This night is full of cluster matches.

Legion is on the outside and Wilds stands atop the turnbuckles and flies off, landing on Legion and giving him a face buster right into a steel chair that’s laying on the outside of the ring. Case with a leg drop off the middle turnbuckle onto Violet as she gets up sends her face first right back into that steel chair, and she begins bleeding now.

Linzi Martin: Good thing this isn’t a first blood match.

Mikey Massacre: If you’re not bleeding, it isn’t REBEL Pro.

Wilds begins wailing on Legion like a mad man trying to keep him down, using a steel chair until it’s nearly obliterated. Violet gets to her feet in the ring groggily, and Case grabs her and puts her into an abdominal stretch of all things. She writhes in pain as he continues to apply stronger and stronger pressure.

Mikey Massacre: Look we came for a fight and a wrestling match broke out.

Linzi Martin: In a wrestling promotion, who knew it’d be possible?

Mikey Massacre: I can sense the sarcasm, Linzi.

Linzi Martin: I have my moments.

Violet tries to worm and squeeze her way out to no luck, instead Case just continues to apply pressure while keeping an eye on Legion and Jaice on the outside of the ring. Finally Case lets go of Violet, spins her around and hits Just 2 Talented on Violet Harper! Harper rolls out of the ring, completely out of it. Legion feigns a knock out, Jaice breathing heavily as he drops the utterly dented chair. Jaice decides to begin stacking tables, because it’s not like there’s anything else to do right? Jaice stacks one table on top of another and then hoists a folded table up with him onto the ring apron as he gingerly keeps his balance, unfolding that third table and creating a three-high stacked table column. It’s during all of this that Justin Case is climbing the ladder in the ring towards the title. Jaice runs around to the opposite side of the ring, hopping over a still dazed Violet Harper and begins climbing that really big ladder Case used earlier. Both men reach their apex at the same time, Jaice is a fast little guy as it were. Case grabs onto the title, but it’s at this point Legion is back into the ring and Legion rips the ladder out from under Justin Case’s legs. Case hangs onto the rope and the title, trying to unclasp it with one hand while he hangs on with his other. Legion lifts the ladder he has up with both arms, and begins swinging it like one giant fucking baseball bat at Case.

Mikey Massacre: I can’t say I’ve ever seen that done.

Linzi Martin: That’s just freakish.

It’s at this precise, horrible and awful moment, that Case sees Jaice Wilds leap across the big gap between them, his legs coming towards his face. Case tries to just fall and rip the title away but Jaice slides his legs right over Case’s shoulders mid air, and swings him like a rag doll with a super hurricanrana that sends Case right through THREE god damn tables that Jaice had stacked. As Jaice falls however, Legion puts out the ladder and this time Jaice breaks his fall on the ladder. Violet Harper has recovered on the outside and she grabs a chair, which she finishes wrapping in barbed wire and slides back into the ring. Legion tilts his head, staring at her as if she was a piece of trash in his eyes. She goes to swing the barbed wire chair at his head, but instead changes direction midswing and hits him flat across the stomach and then another quick swing into Legions legs. She throws the chair aside and begins hitting him with lefts and rights, the crowd going nuts at the balls on this chick. Legion takes a step back but then grabs her head and head butts her into oblivion. And by oblivion, we mean canvas.

Mikey Massacre: We may’ve been questioning her worth as Champion heading into this match, but there’s no doubt Violet has serious gall to go at Legion toe to toe like that.

Linzi Martin: I wasn’t doubting her worth. She’s an awesome chika! She has never lost to another REBEL Pro wrestler! Only that asshole Vicious!

Mikey Massacre: Yeah but, let’s not forget that in doing so she let the whole REBEL Pro fan base down by failing to capture the AoWF Television title.

Violet Harper picks up the chair and throws it to Legion. Legion catches it and then Violet hits him with a bicycle kick, into the chair, which goes into his masked face. Sadly, Legion does not go down and now has a barbed wire steel chair in his hand. Violet’s eyes widen, she quickly ducks the chair shot from Legion using her speed to advantage. Another chair shot, Legion misses. Justin Case at this point is getting into the ring as is Jaice Wilds, both men now bleeding themselves. As Wilds gets up, Violet shoves him in front of herself and Legions barbed wire chair dents with Jaice Wild’s facial impression. Jaice hit’s the canvas again, dazed. Case has splinters all in his body and leans in a corner pulling them out, tiny little spots where he’s bleeding all over his body. Jaice rolls out of the ring, bruised from landing on the ladder and now bleeding from his face.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t see how any of them is going to win this at this point.

Linzi Martin: No they’ll all be dead before that.

?

Violet jumps out towards Legion in magnificent fashion, taking him down face first with Purple Haze into the ladder! Legion rolls off it, dazed for once! Violet Harper quickly grabs the ladder and sets it up. Jaice Wilds is on the outside of the ring moving more tables into place and this time stacking them with chairs ready to be sat on, on top of this table. Justin Case goes to the same ladder and begins climbing the opposite side of it. Both he and Violet reach the top at the same time and they begin slugging it out, back and forth head shots with stiff rights as they clamour to grab the Aggression Championship. Legion is getting to his feet just as Jaice Wilds hops onto the ring apron, climbs to the top and comes off with a super kick neck breaker onto Legion taking him down! Violet jumps to grab the Aggression title, but Case jumps to grab her and has her locked belly-to-belly with him as they both come falling off. Case converts their belly-to-belly position in a suplex and they go out of the ring, through the chairs and the table Jaice had set up on the outside!!!

Linzi Martin: OH SHIT! That was right here in front of us, folks!

Mikey Massacre: That’s bound to leave a few marks.

Jaice sets the ladder up now, getting his big chance to seize the moment. He hurriedly climbs up the ladder but Legion is back up and grabs it once again. Legion lifts the ladder up and throws it towards the ropes, taking Jaice Wilds with it as Jaice goes flying into the announcers table, breaking right through it with television sets electrocuting his face and splinters slicing into him. Violet Harper and Justin Case seem to be pulling themselves out of this wreckage and Legion still has this massive ladder in his arms and he swings it from inside the ring at them. Violet ducks, Justin doesn’t and he gets a big piece of steel across his chin which sends him flying into Jaice Wilds knocked the fuck out.

Linzi Martin: Aw man, they spilled my coffee.

Mikey Massacre: Well, that’s one problem from all of this.

Violet Harper stumbles out, bleeding, bruised but standing. She’s a tough one. Legion ignores her, sets up the ladder now and begins climbing. Harper goes to the big super ladder on the outside like Justin Case and Jaice Wilds before her, though don’t tell her that they’re not doing so well right now. Legion is slower than Harper, giving her the time to speed her way on up to the top of the super ladder. She stands on the very top of it now, the cameras flashing. Legion scoffs as he reaches up for the Aggression championship.

Mikey Massacre: This should be good.

Linzi Martin: I’m on the edge of my seat!

Every single fan in the arena stands on their feet as Violet takes a deep breath and lunges off the ladder, pushing it to the ground with the force of her lunge. She goes for a dropkick on Legion but Legion catches her legs, Violet swings wildly and hits her head on the ladder as it teeters. She’s upside down now at the mercy of Legion who lifts her back up to ensure she feels the pain. It all happens so quickly, the cameras flashing are so blinding… ENTER BLACKNESS OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER AND THROUGH THE LAST STANDING TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING! VIOLET HARPER IS FUCKED!

DING DING DING

Mikey Massacre: Wait, what?! Why did the bell ring?!

Linzi Martin: LOOK!

The belt is gone from the rope it was attached to. In the wreckage below, Legion looks up in pain as Violet Harper lays almost dead, clutching the Aggression championship. There are two referees who talk to each other and nod, as they look out to the REBELTron.

INSTANT REPLAY- BROUGHT TO YOU BY CTHULU FOR PRESIDENT 2012: We see the slow motion replay and as Legion brought Violet up for his patented finishing move, Violet quickly grabbed onto the Aggression title and as Legion rips her and himself down the title rips off with her.

Jenny Jersey: After video confirmation, the winner…. AND STILLLLLL REBEL PRO AGGRESSION CHAMPION…. VIOLET HARPER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mikey Massacre: Well god damn. What a finish.

Linzi Martin: GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER!

Mikey Massacre: Calm down what are you a feminazi?

Linzi Martin: NOPE! Now NONE of you sexist male pigs can doubt Violet Harper as the true Aggression Champion! SHE ROCKS!

Mikey Massacre: I think she’s dead.

“Gasoline” by Audioslave hits but Violet Harper is not moving. Legion gets to his feet and begins throwing chairs around and shaking his head as looks around. Case and Wilds are still dead in the announcers table as EMTs rush out to check on everyone.

Mikey Massacre: Legion might be the last one standing, but he isn’t the Aggression Champion.

Linzi Martin: His lust for destruction, cost him the title. But lucky for him, he’s in the World title match next! And hey, he’s actually still alive enough to fight in it.

Mikey Massacre: The night may not be done for him yet.

Violet’s eyes open as she’s helped to her feet by EMTs, Legion is already heading backstage shaking his head. Violet, amidst the blood and horribly bruised body of hers, smiles as she raises the Aggression title high above her head and the crowd cheers her on.

*****You Have The Right To Remain Silent*****

Legion is walking through some of the back halls of the Superdome following the TLC match, hiding his displeasure with the outcome well. He is being followed by three of his hooded priests. From the left, Vincent Black attacks two of the three priests, dropping them both to the ground with hard clotheslines. He spins on his heels and delivers a hard boot to the face of the third. Legion turns quickly and prepares to attack Black, when the two men are surrounded by New Orleans Police, as well as Sheriffs and various plainclothes officers. Vincent chuckles and backs up, as the ring of officers breaks to let him out. One officer, a plainclothes, begins to talk.

OFFICER: I am Agent Rod Sterling from the FBI. You are under arrest for kidnapping, torturing those you’ve kidnapped, trespa-

Legion has other plans, as he turns and punches the first officer within distance. He hits another as an officer behind him zaps him with his Tazer. Legion lets out an unfamiliar yelp and drops to his knees, where an officer cuffs him from behind.

Agent Sterling: And now, assaulting officers of the law, fuckmook.

Sterling takes Legion’s mask off, showing a surprisingly young man with green eyes looking hatefully up towards the agent. From off screen comes a middle aged man, who is let into the circle.

AGENT STERLING: Mr. Farnsworth, is this the man you see trespassing onto your property?

Mr. Farnsworth looks at the man, and nods.

MR. FARNSWORTH: Yes, it’s him.

Legion is Tazered again by another officer, and brought to his feet. He is led past Vincent, who spits in his unmasked face.

VINCENT: I won’t forget you, kid.

Vincent walks towards Mr. Farnsworth, hand extended. The two men shake hands.

VINCENT: He was really young, man. I’m surprised. But, he got what he deserved. Thank you for agreeing to identify him.

MR. FARNSWORTH: Yep. I had no idea a legit cult was in that old, burnt-out church. It’s sickening.

Black nods, he doesn’t care anymore. Legion’s gone. Black walks away, and Mr. Farnsworth watches him go as a smile spreads across his face.

MR. FARNSWORTH: The damned fool.

???: I know.

From the left of the shot appears Legion, who stands next to Farnsworth.

MR. FARNSWORTH: Brian gave a great sacrifice for our Church, letting himself be arrested in your stead.

Legion laughs.

LEGION: He did what had to be done. Vincent Black will get his soon…

*****Setting The Stage*****

Simon is en route to Lisa Seldon’s locker room, looking for answers. He turns a corner… and finds a set of guards taken out. He runs over, checking them out. Their tasers are missing, and a single bullet lies between them. Kalis picks up the bullet, thinking. He starts towards Lisa’s locker room once again, but notices a small trail of bullets leading elsewhere. He follows the trail back to his own office, where a chuckle can be heard. Kalis realizes that this is a trap, but enters anyways. He finds the seat at the desk turned toward the wall, and a line swept through the cascade of bullets. He approaches the desk, slamming his fists down.

Voice: Bout damn time. Was wondering if you’d forgotten I was here.

Simon Kalis: What the hell are you doing here, Lucious?

The chair spins, a grin-touting Lucious Starr seated behind the desk. He scoots up until he is seated directly at the desk, leaning over and placing the tips of his fingers together. His grin starts to fade ever so slightly as he speaks, mocking sadness.

Lucious Starr: Is that any way to greet an old friend? Or perhaps more importantly, a man you once called your brother?

Simon Kalis: You are NOT my fucking brother.

Lucious Starr: Honestly, Aaron, you surprise me. After all I’ve done for you- well, to you- you don’t consider me family? I mean, hell, Aaron. Everything I’ve done this far is a flattering copy of the horrid things you did during the Order’s reign of terror. But I guess when you’re head is stuffed that far up your own ass, you don’t see when…

Simon Kalis: Get to the fucking point, Lucious. What the hell are you doing here?

Lucious shakes his head, exhaling deeply. He takes a breath, extending his arms.

Lucious Starr: It’s over, Aaron. Game, set. In just a few short weeks, it will be the anniversary of the day it all began. And I’ve decided that that is exactly where it all ends.

Simon Kalis: What the fuck are you talking about? It ends where it began…

Kalis starts to realize, Lucious’ grin back in full effect.

Simon Kalis: Manitoba Mayhem.

Lucious Starr: Bingo, Kalis. The night the Order took hold. The night all our work came to fruition. The night we established ourselves as the most dominant faction in the history of the PWA. The night that this whole thing comes to a finale.

Simon Kalis: This shit ends NOW, Lucious. I want my son back. And I want you to leave me the hell alone.

Lucious Starr: All that will be taken care of. But first, I’ll need you to sign this.

Lucious slides a manilla folder across the table, Simon stepping forward. He opens it up, finding a small stack of papers inside. He scans the top page, looking up to Lucious.

Simon Kalis: This is a contract.

Lucious Starr: Is that what it is? I thought it was a set of Emily Corlen nudie pics. My bad.

Simon Kalis: You want me to sign a match contract for Manitoba Mayhem? What the hell do I get?

Lucious Starr: Easy. I get to beat the hell out of you, remove you from active competition, and get to claim the end of Simon Kalis. You… you get Brian back.

Simon raises a brow, a grin starting to form.

Simon Kalis: So what’s this contract say about when I win?

Lucious snorts, then sits back and just laughs. He slowly calms, shaking his head.

Lucious Starr: That’s a good one, Aaron. When you win. Yeah, I made a provision in the off chance you managed to irk out a win. If you do the impossible, you never hear from me again. I return Brian without another word, and I will be bound to stay away from you and your family forever- well, with the exception of scheduled matches that may arise later, but that’s a minor side note that isn’t important anywhere in the near future.

Simon nods, picking up a pen. He places the tip to the paper, starting with the first stroke… but abruptly stops.

Simon Kalis: What do you get out of this, Lucious?

Lucious laughs.

Lucious Starr: I told you. I get to beat you to within an inch of your life, and claim to be the man to end Simon Kalis.

Simon Kalis: It can’t possibly be that easy. There’s got to be something in here you’re not telling me about.

Lucious chuckles, throwing his head back. He leans in, getting nose-to-nose with Kalis.

Lucious Starr: All I want. All I’ve wanted this whole time. Was to end you. Manitoba Mayhem… is going to give me the platform to do so. And once you sign that match contract, I’m going to be able to beat you so badly that even the coroner will be too nauseated to come get you.

Simon and Lucious stare each other down, both serious. Simon suddenly cracks a smile, signing the contract.

Simon Kalis: I’ll do it. But only because I’m going to beat you so badly that even Joshua will be terrified to go anywhere near your decrepit corpse.

Simon looks up, both serious. Simon cracks a grin, pointing towards the door.

Simon Kalis: Karma’s a bitch, Lucy. And the time’s coming for you to get yours. Now, if you would… get the FUCK out of my arena.

Lucious looks on, an eyebrow raised and a slight grin. He nods, picking up the papers and folder and walks around the desk. He flips the bird as he exits the room, heading for the parking lot. Or is he? Simon turns, chuckling to himself.

*****Bring Your Own Weapon Invitational for the RPW World Championship*****
*****Lisa Seldon© vs. Legion vs. Bobby Lee vs. Emily Corlen vs. Bubba J vs. “Pocket Ace”*****

The match starts with just Bubba J, Legion, Bobby Lee and our super awesome eponymous heroine Lisa (YAY!) Seldon in the ring. All four wait in their respective corners, with Lisa Seldon sitting on the top turnbuckle and Bobby Lee trying to look small.

The bell sounds and Bubba and Legion charge each other down and instantly begin throwing fists. Legion, the much larger man presses the advantage in the back and forth exchange, but Bubba ducks a right hand and begins blasting him back toward the ropes, where he finishes with a clothesline that sends him straight over the top. He then follows closely behind as Bobby Lee rushes him from behind and tosses him over the top to the floor. Sadly, as it’s not a battle royal, he doesn’t get any points. He then turns around to see Lisa Seldon taking a run toward him and promptly ducks down to avoid her. Instead of kicking him in the face though, Lisa Seldon passes right over him with a Cartwheel before throwing herself into a Moonsault over the top-rope and two the floor where she wipes out both men beneath her.

Relatively unscathed, Lisa Seldon slides back under the bottom rope, allowing Bobby Lee to get the drop on her with a Double Axe-Handle smash. Bobby then picks her up and pitches her to the ropes and lowers his head for a Backdrop. Unfortunately he drops to early, and the only thing that hits the floor is his tinfoil hat. Lisa then returns from her trip to the ropes, slows herself to a halt directly in front of him and promptly flattens his tinfoil headgear under his foot. The crowd boo as expected.

LINZI MARTIN: Oh well that’s just mean.

Suddenly alive, Bobby Lee throws himself into a Lariat that inevitably ends with him laying on his face. He quickly scrambles to get up but Lisa moves quicker, putting her foot on the back of his head and making it the second thing tonight that she’s stomped into the mat. Meanwhile the two bulls on the outside have picked themselves up and brought the fight back fast and furious, with Bubba J whipping Legion into the guardrail, only for him to push himself off and come shooting back, turning Bubba J inside out with a Big Boot.

Bubba J rolls to his front and tries to shake the cobwebs clear, but Legion is on him like the colour of a food on the food of that colour, pulling him up by the head and dragging him into a Fireman’s Carry. Legion the steps to the guardrail, gets his hands in position and thrusts Bubba J into the air, holding him aloft for a few seconds before tossing him off the back and letting him crush the rail underneath.

LINZI MARTIN: A huge Gorilla Press from Legion flattens the security rail. It’s hard to tell which of them took that blow the worst.

MIKEY MASSACRE: My guess is Bubba’s fat gut braced him for most of the impact.

In the ring Lisa Seldon pushes Bobby Lee into a corner and happily kicks him in the chest until his forced to slip through the ropes and out to the floor for a time out. Lisa Seldon chooses to wave this request and follows him to the outside, but Bobby Lee reacts by doing the smartest thing he’s ever done and trips out her leg, causing her to crack her head against the ring apron. Meanwhile across the way, Legion has Bubba J pinned to the floor beneath the guardrail, which he leans down on top of and digs into the man’s throat.

LINZI MARTIN: Bubba J has already been through a war tonight and now Legion is looking to finish him off.

MIKEY MASSACRE: He’s made it has goal as of late to take out Hardcore Entertainment and it looks like he’s on the verge of getting rid of one more.

Legion digs it deep but Bubba J eventually manages to get a foot up and kick him off, sending Legion staggering back. He then tosses the rail aside, completely oblivious of the fan who just had their knee messed up, and then wastes no amount of effort by grabbing Legion by the legs and pulling him to the floor. Legion tries to fight him off but Bubba gets on top and begins raining down fists, holding Legion’s head up with one hand and hammering away at his face with the other.

Over by the announce desk we go again, where Bobby Lee has Lisa on the floor and as primed to smash her face into the ring apron. Seemingly though the intention is to leave him primed forever as Lisa puts her foot up on the apron and very easily staves off his attack, before reaching back and throwing an elbow into his face. Bobby Lee goes back and sinks to a knee, potentially to beg for mercy, but all Lisa see’s is a step, prompting her to put one foot up on his extended leg and one knee through his face and out the other side, shattering his jaw and leaving him in a heap as she steps through.

LINZI MARTIN: The Shining Wizard from Lisa Seldon. And it looks like she’s coming this way.

LISA SELDON: I sure am Linzi.

Says Lisa as she pie-faces the poor woman to the floor and jacks her headset.

LISA SELDON: So. What’s going on!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Old commentary partner is getting his body parts caved in.

LISA SELDON: Magical.

Bubba J has Legion on his feet and whips him into the ring post, sending him down in a heap. Both men have clearly seen better days but Legion has barely had a second to rest and Bubba J doesn’t let up, grabbing him by the head and smashing him off the ring apron and sending him across the floor.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Two matches in a row and the fight seems to be leaving Legion.

LISA SELDON: He’s taking his ass-whomping awful easy for a guy with 5000 goons and a crusade. I bet there’s a plan.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Well if you -

LISA SELDON: No! There’s a plan and I called it! Four points to me!

Legion crawls into the nearest rail and pulls himself back to his feet, leaning back over the rail and beckoning Bubba in. Inevitably he follows, grabbing Legion by the head and smashing him across the face. Legion the goes to the floor and Bubba follows, turning him away from the rail and preventing him from seeing the figures leaping the barricade.

LISA SELDON: See? A plan! Totally a plan. He’s going to jump everyone with his army of goons and win this match.

MIKEY MASSACRE: You know you’re still in it right?

LISA SELDON: There aren’t enough goons in the world to get by me.

Bubba’s arms are pulled behind his back from two goons while another two beat him with large wooden staffs. Bubba is pulled down to the floor off Legion, who sits up and watches as his cultists work over Bubba on the floor. The four men carry on pounding away as several more goons flood into the ringside area.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Shouldn’t you go get in there?

LISA SELDON: Neh I got plenty of time.

Legion’s priests pull Bubba to his feet and place him in front of Legion, who fire s a shot into Bubba’s stomach, causing him to go down. With two holding his arms though, a third wraps a cloth around bubba’s throat and pulls him back standing, only for Legion to put him down again.

MIKEY MASSACRE: This is going well.

LISA SELDON: Is for me!

A third shot puts Bubba to the mat, and this time they let him drop. Legion then steps over him and throws his hands high into the air. His victory is somewhat premature though, as another figure comes barrelling down the ramp.

LISA SELDON: Vincent Black to the rescue!

Black hits the floor and annihilates a goon with a bat. A second runs up and takes a kick in the stomach before the bat is brought down across his back and then a third goes down as Vincent drives the butt of the handle into their face. Legion moves at him to attack but Vincent throws him off by tossing another bat over his head. It lands in the hands of Bubba J.

LISA SELDON: Looks like he’s got Reaver… or Rover, Reaper…

Legion turns and takes the spiked back shot in the gut before Black drops him with one in the back. Legion drops to his knees and Vincent lifts his head by wrapping the bat across Legion’s throat, allowing Bubba to get his own back by smashing him in the stomach again. Before they can get any further though, a song picks up.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Cee Lo Green?

LISA SELDON: Fuck. I called that one too.

Red and violet lights shine around the arena, falling at the centre of the entrance ramp. Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You” hits the arena, as white fireworks light the ramp. The anticipation is rife, and as Lucious Starr steps out the fans explode, a hail of cheers and jeers flying his way.

LISA SELDON: Looks like business is about to… slow down to the point where everyone is forced out of work, eventually dying on the street. Probably of syphilis from having to blow crack dealers for money.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Career in a nutshell?

Starr runs at the first body he meets, which just so happens to be Bubba J, who gets brought to the floor and begins trading off fists. Meanwhile Legion uses the distraction to free himself and smash Black off the ringpost and then send him to the goons. Meanwhile Starr gets Bubba into the ring and leaps into a standing Leg Scissors to catch him with the Guillotine.

MIKEY MASSACRE: I Claim Your Soul from Lucious Starr! And Bubba is already weak from the night.

Starr cranks the hold in and Bubba sinks to a knee, but Legion drops both men by running through Starr with a Big Boot. Legion then lets Starr to his feet and wraps his hand around his throat. He then quickly pulls him off the mat and shatters him to the canvas with a Chokeslam.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Legion with the first pin of the night.

LISA SELDON: We still do those?

MIKEY MASSACRE: Apparently.

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And Bubba pulls Legion off the pin and drops an elbow on the back of his head. He then pulls Legion to his feet and hucks him to the ropes before shattering him on the mat with a Spinebuster. He then jumps into a pin himself.

1

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MIKEY MASSACRE: And this time Legion kicks out.

Bubba then pulls Legion back to his feet and fires a knee into his gut and then throws him into the corner, only to be brought down from behind by Starr who blasts him with a Forearm in the back. On cue, She Wolf takes up the speakers.

LISA SELDON: Hope they reinforced the ring tonight. Not that there’s enough material in the world.

Emily Corlen sprints for the ring and begins throwing quick lefts at Lucious Starr. He shrugs her off and fires a kick into her stomach to double her over and then charges with a Clothesline, only for Emily to duck the move and come up behind him with a Snap Kick between the eyes.

LISA SELDON: I don’t know if she actually hit him or if the breeze from throwing that elephant leg through the air brought him down.

Emily Corlen then jumps back up and walks right into a boot from Bubba J, who then turns for the Trailer Park Trash. However Emily pushes him away, sending him into Legion and knocking them both in the corner. Bubba then falls back into Emily, who steps under his arm, grabs his waist and snaps back with a quick Backdrop.

LISA SELDON: Well… you.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Mikey.

LISA SELDON: I suppose I should be getting back to work. Give your trollope my regards.

Lisa Seldon gets up, rushes forward and body-bags an unsuspecting minion of the antichrist. Meanwhile Vincent Black is still finding his hands full with the rest of them, but seems to be getting the better of them. He demonstrates this by picking one up for a Powerbomb and shattering them across the ring-frame. Inside Emily Corlen finds her advantage lost as Legion pushes aside a Dropkick attempt and lets her fall on her face. She gets up quick but Legion is there waiting for her, and walks her into a DDT across the canvas. Meanwhile Vincent Black finds his hands free, and turns his attention to some weaponry.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Back then.

LINZI MARTIN: Harumph.

Vincent Black slides a barbedwire board into the ring which immediately rouses the fans. Meanwhile Bubba J has his feet and is waiting for Legion to turn. He then kicks him in the gut, catches his head and brings him down with a Vertical Suplex across the board. The fans rise in a cheer and Legion seethes, arching up from the pain, only for the barbs to bite in and pull him back.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Not the most graceful wrestler in the world, but it doesn’t take much to pull off a Suplex.

LINZI MARTIN: Seeing this give you any thoughts of getting back in the ring?

MIKEY MASSACRE: … Nope, not today.

Bubba rips Legion from the board and tosses him to the outside. Meanwhile Starr is on his feet and on Corlen with a German Suplex, planting her to the mat and holding for the cover.

1

2

The second hand hits as Lisa Seldon comes off the ropes with a Double Stomp into Starr’s gut to break the pin. Starr the staggers up and takes a kick in the ribs that staggers him to one side, allowing Lisa to hop up and nail him with an Enzugiri, dropping him to his knees. Lisa then lets him get a leg off the mat, allowing her to catch him from behind and roll him over into a Schoolboy Pin, rolling over onto her back for extra leverage.

LINZI MARTIN: Mouse Trap from Lisa, and Starr is struggling.

1

2

MIKEY MASSACRE: And Emily pulls the legs out from under her.

Emily catches Lisa with a knee in the stomach and then hooks both her arms for the MDK, but Lisa breaks her grip and twists out. Emily tries to recover but Lisa holds her arm and pulls her into an Armdrag and then a Hurricanrana on the turn.

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MIKEY MASSACRE: Emily kicks her way free.

Lisa lands in the ropes and Emily jumps up behind her for a German Suplex, but Lisa keeps herself grounded. Lucious Starr however has other ideas and catches Emily as well to Suplex them both. Emily loses her grip though and sends Lisa through a flip, allowing her to land on all fours. Meanwhile Emily ends up laying across Starr’s knees, where she struggles to get free, only for Lisa to leap up and land a Legdrop across her chest.

Star dumps Corlen in a heap and lets her roll to the outside. Meanwhile Lisa rolls to her feet and goes to remind him of the time she ruined his career for several months, only to be pulled out of the ring by her legs as the druids get back involved. Starr instead then turns his attention to Corlen, sliding the barbedwire board out to the floor with him.

Starr sets the board up across two chairs and then turns back to Emily, who tries to tackle him into the apron, only to be turned the other way. Emily swings around to fight him but Starr kicks her in the gut to double her up, grabs her hair and then throws her backwards to snap her head across the apron. He then forces her up and follows, stepping to his feet and pulling her up between his legs.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Setting her up for Hell’s Fury… or Wrath… or Gate.

Starr lifts Emily but can’t get her off the apron. He then let’s go but Emily drops off the apron and reaches up to punch him in the stomach. Starr drops and Emily hooks both his arms, grits her teeth and arches back to drag him off the apron.

LINZI MARTIN: MDK!

Emily turns, dragging Starr off the mat, turning the other way and then smashing him through the barbedwire board, shattering it with the Angel’s Wings.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And he is outta there!!!

Emily gets to her feet, pushing back her hair and soaking in the cheers of the fans. The moment quickly turns for her though as someone brings her down from behind.

LINZI MARTIN: It’s Simon Kalis!

MIKEY MASSARE: And he just pistol-whipped her.

Emily drops but Simon carries on beating her about the head with the butt of his gun. The fans boo but Simon tunes them out, bringing the ass end of the gun down again and again across the back of her head.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Simon’s doing that bitch over but it looks like he’s got company.

A cheer rings up from the fans, causing Simon to get to his feet and leap the barricade immediately at the sight of Johnny Maverick wheeling down the ramp. Simon back up through the crowd, various bodies either patting him on the back or flipping him off. Johnny lets him go and moves in onto Emily who is just now coming too. A few seconds pass in a daze for her, but eventually it all clicks and she moves to go after Kalis, only for her legs to give out. Johnny helps her up but has to hold her at bay as she spits blind rage in Kalis general direction. He waves them goodbye as he turns and disappears into the crowd.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Looks like the boss just stepped in and put an end to her night.

LINZI MARTIN: That’s one way to put it. I’d call it a massive, flagrant abuse of power myself.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Potato/patato.

Johnny helps Emily up the ramp as the fans nearby cheer her out. Meanwhile we cut to Lisa, who gets whipped toward one priest and stops herself put putting her foot up into their chest. Lisa then throws an elbow into the gut of one coming up behind her, kicks off the chest of the one in front of her and rolls across the back of the guy she just elbowed down. He stands up on pure reflex and then falls down on his face when Lisa lifts her leg and smashes him across the head. Inevitably this is going to carry on like this, so we cut to the crowd where Bubba and Black have Legion held up arm in arm. The two take a step forward, lift and send Legion flying with a huge, high-elevation Hip-Toss that wipes out all manner of chairs beneath him.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Look out below!

LINZI MARTIN: Good thing the company itself is worth so little that no one will ever bother to sue us.

Legion crawls through the heap, clawing his way back up through a mess of chairs to get back at them. He swings wild at Bubba J and misses, right before being brought down from behind by Vincent Black with a chair. Bubba J then steps forward over the man and smashes him soundly in the head with a knee.

Legion grabs a fan and pulls to his feet before shoving them into Bubba and Black. The fan is tossed aside, by both men, neither of them aware that the fan is a plant; that cracks Bubba in the back of the head with a set of brass knuckles the second no one is looking. Bubba falls to a knee and Black turns to help him up, which is all the time Legion needs to grab the nearest chair and pitch it into Black’s face. Legion then leaps forward and floors both of them with a Double Clothesline before collapsing to his knees. He then lifts his hand and gestures for… something.

The crowds suddenly part ways as another batch of priests slowly make their way through the gap, leading something on a chain. The fans around begin to quieten as the first few priests part ways.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Looks like Legion brought a weapon after all.

The beast known as Mammon steps forward from the crowd, suddenly unchained and pointed towards Vincent Black, whose face gets ground down beneath a massive right hand. Mammon then thunders away with shots before being pulled off by Legion, turned and forcibly thrust into the path of Bubba J, who doesn’t so much as get a fist as the full body as Mammon roars right through him. Legion then leaves him to play as he heads back to the ring.

Back at ringside Lisa is still merrily cutting through bodies. The next one runs at her, only for Lisa to step under their attack and stick a knee in their stomach. Lisa then puts one foot on the back of their head, pushing herself into the air and coming down on top of them to shatter their various faceless features off the concrete floor.

LINZI MARTIN: Another one bites the dust. Which will be very hard for them when their jaw is embedded into the concrete floor.

Lisa then turns to follow up on whoever might be next, but Legion gets the drop on her, catching her on the run, whirling around with her in his arms and driving her through the announce table. Legion staggers away laughing, falling to his knees but still remaining very much in high spirits.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh my water has no where to sit and we need to buy a new table. Also Lisa is down.

LINZI MARTIN: She pushed me down earlier and so I find it hard to feel bad.

Legion pulls himself up again and then pulls Lisa from the wreckage by her hair. He then makes a point of dragging her along the floor, heading toward the ramp. Lisa tries to kick him off, forcing him to let go and beat her with a series of right hands. He then drags her to her feet and onto his shoulder as he carries her up the entrance way.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Looks like someone is going to get lucky tonight.

LINZI MARTIN: I don’t think it’s going to be Lisa.

Legion gets to the top of the ramp and tosses Lisa face first into her own statue, which is altogether very rude of him. He then lets her get as far as her hands and knees before driving a boot into her stomach, sending her rolling dangerously close to the edge. Legion then steps over and pulls her up again.

The beast returns to join Legion on top of the ramp and has Lisa thrust into his hands. Legion looks out across the arena, scanning the building before setting his eyes on the floor beneath the ramp. He points down into a pile of about-to-be debris.

Legion stands back as Mammon lifts Lisa off the mat by the throat and carries her to the edge of the ramp. His cold blue eye pierces into her own as he draws her in close, looking for the fear behind hers. Sadly, he brings her in too close.

MIKEY MASSACRE: In the eyes! Or I guess just eye.

Lisa blows a jet of blue mist into Mammon’s eyes, causing him to drop her and stagger back blind. The beast swings violently looking to tear off her face but can’t get a hand to her as she rolls out of his grasp. Legion turns to see the commotion and charges Lisa down and throws a forearm into her face. Lisa answers back with a Push Kick in the chest. Legion then moves to attack her again but gets distracted by Bubba and Black chasing him down. Legion takes a powder through the curtain and the two go after him, leaving Lisa and Mammon alone on the stage.

The beast charges at Lisa and throws an arm but misses the mark as she darts under his arm. He then turns and leaps at her again, but this time he runs into the nearest statue, cracking it against his head. Mammon then staggers back in a daze as the statue begins to sway. Lisa spies an opening.

Bracing herself against the stage wall, Lisa puts her feet up against the still quivering statue, braces and finally tips it over. Mammon turns around just in time to see it fall, and come crashing down on top of him.

Mammon struggles beneath the statue but even he finds it too heavy to lift. Meanwhile down the ramp Black and Bubba have Legion between them; Black lifting him up with an Inverted Powerbomb and Bubba stepping in to catch him around the throat and splatter him on the steel with the Ace Crusher.

LINZI MARTIN: Elitist Drop!

MIKEY MASSACRE: The numbers are starting to thin alright.

Black carries on the attack against Legion, fighting him off the ramp. Meanwhile Bubba makes his way back to the ring, stopping only to grab a few boards from under the ring and slide them in with him. He then turns to Lisa and beckons her in.

Lisa considers the invitation, shrugs her shoulders and slides in after him. She immediately picks up a chair as Bubba comes at her with his bat. He swings over head but Lisa deflects the blow and then fires off one of her own that cuts through the air as he darts back. Black teases his next shot, forcing her to block high, only to go low and slam his bat into her stomach. Lisa then drops the chair and Bubba hammers her across the back, sticking the various broken everything into her back and then peeling it off as she falls to her knees.

Bubba moves in behind Lisa and drops the bat onto her head, grinding it against her skin and opening various fissures across the top of her head. He then tosses the bat aside and turns his attention to a barbedwire board, that he slides into the centre of the ring. Bubba then picks Lisa up and drags her into a Powerbomb that Lisa tries to fight off, but Bubba shrugs a series of punches off and then hammers her down into the board; spines of metal tearing at her flesh as he presses her down. Bubba then leaves forward on top of her for the pin.

1

2

MIKEY MASSACRE: And she’s out at two!

Lisa kicks him off and goes over, her skin forcibly torn from the spikes as she rolls over to her stomach. Bubba carries on the attack, this time picking Lisa up with a Gutwrench, flipping Lisa up into the air and letting her spill off his shoulder, this time dropping her face first into the wire. Lisa grits her teeth and lets out some very unpleasant noises, but Bubba doesn’t let up, grabbing her by the hair and ripping her free again. Bubba then throws her to the corner and begins shooting out right hands, snapping her head back with each shot and forcing her down to the floor. He then drops the punches for kicks, stamping her down to the floor.

Bubba then turns his attention back to the board. Picking it up and putting it prickly side down on Lisa before hitting it with a stomp. He then runs to the nearest rope, fires back and throws a kick, grinding the wood and thorns against her face.

Bubba then pulls her free and flattens her with a DDT before rolling into the cover.

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2

LINZI MARTIN: And she’s out again.

Bubba pulls Lisa to her feet and pushes her into the ropes. He then grabs the chair in one hand and his bat in the other, throwing the chair up and into her hands and then swinging with the bat. He strikes out though as Lisa ducks the shot and then throws the chair back into his hands, allowing Bubba to duck this time. Lisa fakes him out though, waiting for Bubba to bend over before jumping up, placing her leg across the back of his head and smashing him into the chair with a Fameasser. Bubba then rolls to his back and Lisa punches on the cover.

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2

LINZI MARTIN: And this time Bubba kicks free.

Lisa gets to her feet, a little shaky as blood pumps from various wounds. She fights on though, turning to the mostly shattered barbedwire board and tearing a strand of the wire free. She then wraps it in her hands, pulls it tort and leaps on Bubba from behind, garrotting him as they both go to the floor.

MIKEY MASSACRE: This is how she put away Justin Case, and she’s about to make it two!

Bubba kicks and struggles as Lisa strangles the life from him. Blood flows from between her fingers and down Bubba’s neck, but Lisa perseveres cutting through his throat. The ref moves to check if he’s out and drops his hand, but after the second he holds his hand high, earning a cheer from the crowd.

Bubba struggles and rolls to his front; clambering to his feet with Lisa still on his back. Not content to give up so easily, Lisa holds on tight and chokes away, but Bubba finally fight to his feet and throws himself back into the corner, crushing Lisa between him and the corner buckle. He then throws back an elbow, cracking her in the jaw and finally breaking her grip. A second is just for fun and then a third fires off for good measure. Lisa then slumps in the ropes and Bubba falls to his knees, ripping the wire out of his throat and tossing it aside.

Bubba pushes past a mess of wire boards and instead grabs a much less conspicuous one. At first it seems to just be wood, but a certain glint catches the light. The camera moves in.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Here come the razorblades.

Bubba drops the board in the centre of the ring and turns back to Lisa. He then forces her up onto the top and follows up with a right hand that leaves her swaying on the ropes. He then follows her up.

MIKEY MASSACRE: He’s wrapping her up for a Superplex.

LINZI MARTIN: And he’s aiming for that razorblade board.

Bubba J halls back but Lisa keeps her legs wrapped in the ropes, forcing him to let go and begin pounding away with fists to soften her up. He then steps a foot onto the top-rope and looks to take Lisa with him, but she finally fights back, getting her foot up and kicking him straight in the chest. Bubba drops back to the second and tries to hold on, but a second kick rattles his jaw, allowing Lisa to grab his head between her feet and pull him down, smashing his face into the top buckle. Bubba then sways back, but not before Lisa pulls him in and smashes him with a headbutt, rattling both their skulls and letting him fall back. Lisa sends him the rest of the way with a foot in the face.

Bubba J falls to the mat through a gasp from the fans, but ultimately saves himself from falling into the razor-boards as he turns and lands on his hands and knee, inches from the blades. His eyes reset and a smile creeps across his face as he sees just where he is. Sadly, Lisa Seldon sees where he is too.

LINZI MARTIN: Lisa’s perched on the top-rope.

Lisa doesn’t even give him a chance to move as she leaps from the top-rope, bringing up both her knees and sinking them into the back of Bubba’s head. She then comes down on top of him, splattering his face off the mat as the razors rip through his head.

LINZI MARTIN: The Horror Pop!

MIKEY MASSACRE: and Bubba J’s face has been ripped right off.

Lisa Seldon clambers to her feet, her knees beginning to red with blood. She fires on though, grabbing his head and smashing it into the razors again and again until it comes up a raw and bloody mess. She then pulls him up to his knees, steps back and let’s rip with a Roundhouse Kick through the side of his head, sending him to the floor.

MIKEY MASSACRE: The Killer from Lisa Seldon. And Bubba is out!

Lisa drops down by his side, utterly oblivious to the razors in her knee as she rolls him for the cover.

1

2

3!!!

DING DING DING

Lisa Seldon looks around as the referee hands her the REBEL Pro World title.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, and STILLLLLLLLLLLL REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Champion…. LISA SELDON!!!!

?

Mikey Massacre: So what not even the world can bring this woman down?

Linzi Martin: Ohhhh isn’t it exciting?!

Lisa rolls out of the ring and leaves as Jeremy Gold comes running down to the ring to survey the damage. Eventually Gold directs everyone away from ringside for some reason but Bubba J especially does not seem too pleased right now.

*****Teaser*****

Mikey Massacre: Well, fans, we have had an amazing show tonight. But tune in next week to Aggression for more-

Suddenly, the lights go out in the Superdome and everything goes pitch black as the fans buzz in anticipation with Jeremy Gold still in the ring.

Linzi Martin: Did we pay the light-bill for the building?

Mikey Massacre: What the heck is going on?

Linzi Martin: Someone turn the freakin’ lights on NOW!

In the midst of the darkness, we hear the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle.

Mikey Massacre: I never thought I’d hear bagpipes in REBEL Pro…

Linzi Martin: I could have pictured banjos and six-toed mutant possum babies…

Just then, the lights come back on and the music stops. As Jeremy Gold is looking around, they see Confederate flags in all four ring posts with a jug of moon-shine and a copperhead snake slithering in the ring as the fans buzz loudly in anticipation wondering what the heck is going on as Jeremy Gold is sent of the ring upon seeing the snake screaming in fear, his sixth pair of pants for the evening staining with piss like the previous five.

Mikey Massacre: What the HELL is going on?

Linzi Martin: I don’t know, but I have a BAD feeling about this…

Mikey Massacre: Apparently, somebody out there is trying to send REBEL Pro a message… maybe we’ll get to the bottom of this next week on Aggression.

Linzi Martin: I sure hope that snake’s been de-fanged!

Mikey Massacre: Hah, right. For Linzi Martin, this is Mikey Massacre… We’ll see you next week folks.

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Corey Lazarus & Thunderwolf defeat The (Super) Power Couple
Hardcore Entertainment defeats Gabe Shelley & Alexia Fender
Violet Harper defeats Legion, Justin Case & Jaice Wilds
Lisa Seldon defeats Bobby Lee, Emily Corlen, Bubba J, Legion & Lucious Starr

*****The Invitational*****

Fireworks pop off all across the arena as the crowd jumps to their feet! Flashes of all the great stars here in RPW flash over the REBELTron. Lisa Seldon holding the REBEL Pro World, Tag Team and AoWF World Titles all at once as she stands dominant over the field. Justin Case watching in the distance, plotting his move to recapture the gold. Vincent Black and Bubba J searching, drinking and searching for Hostile who seems lost to the world. Flash fires start and begin scorching the whole field as Legion steps into view standing before the backdrop of the Church of Misery, his priests around him as the fire spreads to all four corners of the field. Bobby Lee waving at the camera holding his “title” and Violet Harper arguing with police as…

BANG! BANG! BANG!

More fireworks explode and the camera pans the sold out crowd.

Mikey Massacre: I’m Mikey Massacre, alongside Linzi Martin. Welcome to another edition of REBEL Pro Aggression!

Linzi Martin: There’s a jam packed show tonight as we march one step closer to Armed Assault!

“Nights in White Satin” by Moody Blues hits over the speakers as the crowd jump to their feet, the Order of Chaos skull emblem burning into the REBELTron.

Mikey Massacre: Oh, great. Him.

Linzi Martin: YAY! IT’S SIMON!

Simon Kalis steps out to an uproar of cheers and adulation from the crowd, adjusting the collar to his black Armani suit as he smiles and waves to the throngs of cheering fans.

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and gentlemen! It is my honour to introduce to you, the minority owner of REBEL Pro…. SIMON KALIS!

Kalis makes his way down to the ring before sliding in under the bottom rope and grabbing a microphone from Jenny Jersey.

Simon Kalis: I’m out here to address a few things, you could say, of noteworthy concern. First of all, fuck you Justin Case.

The crowd “OHHHHHHS” in response.

Simon Kalis: You little prick, you think you can make up accusations about me and I won’t notice? I’m not sure you realize this, but I’m not as nice a guy as Larry Gordon. I’ve already got the Extreme Elite running around trying to sabotage me at every corner because of how they view me. But they’re just drunk bastards, what’s your excuse Case? I mean I’m sorry if your little plot to have one of my superstars deported backfired. But don’t worry, you’ll get yours soon enough pal.

Kalis clears his throat, before pointing to the backstage area.

Simon Kalis: Speaking of the Extreme Elite. I heard what you had to say Bubba, about Gabe Shelley and Alexia Fender. How you can bring the blood back to REBEL Pro and beat them. Well, you know what Bubba? Fuck you and your little buddy Vincent Black too. Cause at Armed Assault next week? It’ll be Gabe Shelley and Alexia Fender… versus Hardcore Entertainment!

Linzi Martin: Whoa!

Mikey Massacre: Ballsy move.

Kalis shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: That’s not all. This match will decide the number one contenders to the REBEL Pro Tag Team titles!

The crowd erupts into cheers once more.

Simon Kalis: No, no that’s not all. You wanna bring blood Bubba? Well then you can, inside of a barbed wire cage match!

Mikey Massacre: Whoa now, that’s something.

Linzi Martin: *swoons* ….

Simon Kalis: WHAT?! You think I’m fucking done?! Cause if we’re talking about the REBEL Pro Tag Team Champions, we can’t forget Lisa Seldon!

The crowd cheers for their Champion of EVERYTHING!

Simon Kalis: She has been an unstoppable, undefeatable force since coming to REBEL Pro. This bitch is fucking nuts, trust me, I know. So who can possibly be worthy of facing her at Armed Assault? Who has even a chance of taking the title from her? Legion?!

Simon smirks as the crowd boos.

Simon Kalis: Violet Harper?!

The crowd has a mixed reaction to Violet’s name.

Simon Kalis: How about Bobby Lee?!

The crowd cheers loudly and Simon laughs.

Simon Kalis: Well here’s the thing. Next week, at Armed Assault? Lisa Seldon will defend the REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Championship in the main event…

Simon pauses for dramatic flare.

Simon Kalis: In an open invitational for the entire REBEL Pro roster, a Bring Your Own Weapon match!

Linzi Martin: OH MY GOD!

Mikey Massacre: What a slick son of a bitch!

The crowd goes nuts as Kalis tries to motion them to calm down.

Simon Kalis: Don’t think that this is just a massive handicap match against Lisa, though. The more people who enter, the more people you will have to fend off to get the biggest prize. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. Don’t pass it up.

Kalis drops the mic as “Nights in White Satin” hits again and Simon makes his way out of the ring and backstage…

*****Golden Inferno versus Gabe Shelley & Alexia Fender*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following is a tag team match!

“Born This Way” by Lady Gaga hits as Jeremy Gold reluctantly steps out with a wild looking Inferno at his side.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first! The team of Inferno and Jeremy Gold… GOLDEN INFERNO!

Inferno leaps from the ground, over the apron and over the top rope and into the ring as wild and nutty as ever. Gold wipes the tears from his eyes as he slides in under the bottom rope, checking his red and white Adidas track suit for signs he really is awake and not dreaming. “In Fate’s Hands” hits and the crowd goes nuts as Gabe Shelley and Alexia Fender.

Jenny Jersey: Their opponents! Gabe Shelley and Alexia Fender!!!

Gold sees them approach the ring and clutches his chest, his veins in his neck pop and he collapses to the canvas. Inferno kneels down and begins sniffing Gold all over as Gabe and Alexia enter the ring, looking on perplexed.

DING DING DING

Alexia and Gabe double clothesline Inferno to the canvas. He’s up to his feet immediately and begins swinging wildly at both Gabe and Alexia who easily duck and dodge his attacks. Inferno swings wildly, twisting his whole body and Alexia Fender merely puts her foot out, tripping Inferno and sending him to the canvas. She stomps down on his throat as Gabe kicks him a few times in the ribs.

Mikey Massacre: Beautiful double teaming going on here.

Linzi Martin: Oh Mikey, get your mind out of the gutter.

Mikey Massacre: Wait, what? You’re always making insinuations Linzi.

Linzi Martin: Come on, no one even knows what that word means Mikey.

Gabe lifts Inferno up by the neck and whips him into the corner turnbuckle as Gold rolls out of the ring. Inferno jumps up and throws himself out of the ring too and goes under the ring. Gold hides alongside the ring apron and Gabe and Alexia seem to be discussing how badly they should hurt these two idiots. Inferno rises from under the ring back outside to the apron with a big lighter fluid canister and pours it all over himself. Gabe and Alexia stand back as Inferno climbs to the top rope and then sets himself on fire. The crowd goes nuts as Inferno screams and does a huge body splash while on fire at Gabe and Alexia, but Inferno misses and just hits his face on the canvas.

Mikey Massacre: Does this guy ever need help.

Linzi Martin: Don’t worry! Gold to the rescue!

Gold grabs a chair and slides into the ring. Inferno is rolling around on fire, but happy about it. Gold begins to pant, wheeze and tears form in his eyes as Gabe motions him to bring it. Gold closes his eyes and screams, just as Inferno puts himself out and gets to his feet. Jeremy, with his eyes closed, begins swinging wildly!

Mikey Massacre: So much for the rescue.

Linzi Martin: GOLD YOU IDIOT!!!!

Gold cracks the chair over Inferno’s smoking face and takes Inferno down to the canvas. Gold screams, crying and swearing as he continually smashes the chair on Inferno. Finally Gold drops the chair, panting and crying and opens his eyes. Gabe Shelley and Alexia Fender shake their head as they look at him, Gold looks down and sees he’s laid out Inferno! The moron! Alexia rushes forward, COUNTRY SKY ON GOLD ONTO THE CHAIR!!! She covers, and Gabe kicks Inferno in the face to see if he’s still alive.

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match… GABE SHELLEY AND ALEXIA FENDER!!!

Gabe and Alexia scoff at Gold as he begins crying for his mother and dry humping Inferno in the ring.

Mikey Massacre: So this is what it’s come to? Look at these idiots. Gold has no place in a ring.

Linzi Martin: Even if they were trying, I don’t really think they’d have done much to both Gabe Shelley and Alexia Fender. Gabe and Alexia don’t have a scratch on them!

*****Drunken Shenanigans! REDUX!*****

Two masked men step into the hallway, one much larger and the other a shorter one(obviously Bubba J and Vincent Black again).

Smaller Man: “Why do I get this mask? Dutch Dan threw up in it.”

The larger man chuckles.

LM: “That’s why you get it.”

SM: Asshole.”

LM: “But you get to do the fun part here.”

The smaller man rubs his stomach.

SM: “Yeah, but those five double cheesy beef burritos?”

The larger man chuckles.

LM: “Don’t forget thecouple of tacos too.”

The smaller man nods.

LM: “Here we go.”

The door reads “Jeremy Gold” on the door. The smaller masked man slowly opens the door and notices no one in side.

LM: “I’ll be look out, hurry up.”

SM: “You can’t rush these things Vin…”

LM: “Justin Case you didn’t know?”

SM: “Yeah.”

The smaller man walks into the office, the larger man slowly closing the door. Jeremy Gold walks out of his bathroom and is surprised, but just as much as the smaller masked man is. Jeremy screams bloody murder but its quickly cut off as he’s Trailer Park Trashed… I mean stunned by a stunner. The door opens up and the larger masked man is there.

LM: “What in the hell?”

The smaller man laughs.

SM: “We’ve gotten an added bonus. Now in case you don’t want to see what is fixing to happen…”

LM: “Its the smell I don’t want.”

The larger man dives out of the door, nearly taking it off its hinges in his haste to get out of the office. The smaller man drops his pants, thankfully behind the desk where we can’t see all of his tools. A grunt is heard as his face reddens and he reaches up to find Simon Kalis’ paycheck on the desk and uses it to wipe his ass. He replaces the check on the desk, all brown and obviously stinking to all get out. A zipper is heard and the smaller masked man walks around the desk. Opening the door, he walks out.

LM: “Did you… oh my gawd, that is awful!”

He starts gagging and the smaller man laughs.

SM: “For Hostile!”

LM: “For…*gag* Hos*gag*tile*gag*”

The scene fades away.

*****Bubba J versus Justin Case*****

“Kick It In The Sticks” hits up in the speakers as from the back, to a somewhat mixed reaction and carrying a beer, is The Ragin’ Redneck himself, Bubba J. J is also carrying a staple gun and a spool of barbed wire in his left hand.

JENNY JERSEY: From Durham, North Carolina; he stands at six foot two inches and weighs in at two hundred and fifty pounds… “The Ragin’ Redneck” Bubba J!

J steps into the ring after hiding his weapons under the ring and is waiting on Justin Case to enter now.

“Victory” hits up in the speakers as from the back to a booing reaction is “The Millennium Game” Justin Case. Case listens to the crowd, but glowers up at Bubba J in the ring, finishing off a beer and waiting for him to get into the ring.

JENNY JERSEY: From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada; he stands at six feet five inches while weighing in at two hundred and sixty-five pounds… “The Millennium Game” Justin Case!

Case steps into the ring and continues staring at Bubba J.

DING DING

Bubba J with a vicious right fist starts off this match knocking Justin Case back towards the ropes. Justin fires back with a right of his own, but is unable to stand toe to toe with Bubba J as he kicks him right in the gut. J goes for the Trailer Park Trash early, but Case spins away from the finisher nailing J in the kidneys with a fist sending J down to one knee.

Linzi Martin: Bubba J still has it, thanks to a couple of weeks’ rest.

Mikey Massacre: Don’t know if he ever really had it, but no one can deny his toughness.

Case off the ropes with a bulldog, but J falls down allowing Justin to pass over him without completing the bulldog. J is up and off the ropes with a running knee into Case’s midsection that doubles him over. J pounds him in the face with a fist standing him up in the corner. J with stomp after stomp on Case in the corner, wearing his midsection out in good fashion. J grabs a headlock, running out of the corner with a bulldog that takes Case to center ring. J begins to taunt his opponent.

Bubba J: “That is how you do a bulldog you Millennium piece of shit!”

J brings down a boot onto the back of Case’s neck before stomping the crap out of him. J climbs out of the ring and goes under the ring, pulling out his spool of barbed wire and tossing it back into the ring along with his staple gun and a steel chair. J climbs back into the ring as the crowd actually cheers one of the formerly most hated men in Rebel Pro.

Linzi Martin: Bubba J getting cheered has him confused.

Mikey Massacre: He hasn’t always been cheered. Maybe the first week or two he was here in the beginning of his career and that was it until now.

Linzi Martin: So, he’s a bastard?

Mikey Massacre: Pretty much.

Justin with a double fist club nails J right between his legs before lifting him up and dropping him with a German suplex. Case holds on, rollling over and nailing a second German, then a third, before going for a fourth and holding it for a pin attempt!

One!

Two!

Thr–

J gets a shoulder up, but Case is on top of him throwing elbows into J’s face that rock his head from left to right. Justin pulls J up, whipping him into the ropes and catching him with a hiptoss to the canvas. Case is off the ropes jumping up and coming down with a knee drop onto J’s chest that has him gasping for breath.

Case: “I don’t need hardcore!”

But he does need a cup as J nails him right in the balls with a fist! No, J has ahold of his balls, squeezing them for all he is worth and Case slowly folds down to his knees where J nails him right in the face.

Linzi Martin: A bit unorthadox.

Mikey Massacre: Bubba J is anything but orthadox.

J spits in his face before bouncing off the ropes with the chair in hand and swinging for the fences. J connects solidly sending a bit of blood flying from a slice on Case’s face.

Bubba J: “Nope, but you do need a maxi pad you bleeding bitch!”

J spins around, connecting with air as Case dives forward headbutting J right in the midsection. J folds over and Case is there with a swinging neckbreaker, but is unable to make a cover. The referee watches this as Case slowly pulls himself up to a vertical base and grabs J by the back of his neck.

Case: “You want to have blood?”

He drags J’s face across the barbed wire ropes, tearing flesh from J’s face as blood drips from the wounds on both their faces.

Case: “Then you got blood.”

Case whips J into the ropes, quickly following after him and nailing him with a knee to the midsection that doubles J over against the ropes. Case drags J across the ropes on this side, ripping flesh from his back before locking him in position for a Northern Lights suplex. Case lifts him up, but J spins around, connecting with a DDT onto the chair instead. J rolls over after a moment and wipes the blood from his eyes and seems to be really pissed. J grabs the staple gun, sending several staples into Justin’s flesh, causing him to grunt in pain with each cachunk.

Linzi Martin: He’s saddistic!

Mikey Massacre: That’s Bubba J for ya.

J pulls him up, sending a couple of staples into Case’s cheek before Case drops him with a DDT onto the staple gun that Bubba J drops in surprise. Case pulls himself up, thanks to the ropes, and stomps down on J’s skull before lifting him up and whipping him into the corner. Justin comes flying in with a crossbody, connecting and catching J as he falls out of the corner. Justin lifts him up for a vertical suplex but drops him when Legion steps from the back holding several loops of a chain in his fist. Bubba J rolls up Case from behind with a pin.

One!

Two!

Three!

DING DING DING

JENNY JERSEY: Winner of the match, Bubba J!

Legion continues walking down to the ring, holding a long chain in his fist. Case gets up as Bubba J gives Legion a glancing look. J shrugs before spinning Case around and nailing him with the Trailer Park Trash and leaving him there. J walks past Legion who only has eyes for Case right now. Legion steps into the ring, unlooping the chain and wrapping one end of it around Case’s neck, making a noose.

Linzi Martin: Come on, he’s just gotten through with a hellacioius match… he’s making a noose!

Mikey Massacre: Apparently he’s fixing to hang Justin Case.

Linzi Martin: What are you going to do about it?

Mikey Massacre: Sit right here and call the action.

Legion throws the chain over a rafter before lifting Case up, by pulling down on one end of the chain, and raising Case up until his toes are about an inch off the ring’s surface.

*****Going Wild*****

Justin starts to his feet, somewhat exhausted. He turns to the entrance ramp, where Jeremy Gold stands. He shakes his head, holding a mic to his face. Legion steps back and observes.

Jeremy Gold: What you did last week, Justin… having one of our top talents deported JUST so you could win a match… that was disgusting. What’s WORSE is that then you walk around this week claiming there’s a conspiracy against you, and the fact you lose matches doesn’t boil down to the fact you might not be good enough to win. Frankly, I’d kick you out of REBEL if it weren’t for the fact that you might beat the hell out of me later for it.

Justin laughs, nodding as he takes in the moment.

Jeremy Gold: However, that said, Justin. I received news earlier today that Jaice Wilds’ citizenship test came back.

Justin grins, mouthing “deported!”.

Jeremy Gold: There’s some saddening news. His work visa is no longer valid.

Justin smiles wide, slapping his leg. He doesn’t notice as someone jumps the crowd barrier, turning Hugh Aredone around and kicking him in the face with a barbed-wire wrapped foot. Hugh drops, and the intruder slides into the ring behind Case.

Jeremy Gold: As it turns out, Mr. Jaice Wilds is now OFFICIALLY a naturalized citizen of these United States of America!

The crowd roars as Justin’s mouth drops in disbelief. He throws his arms up, beginning to turn.

Jeremy Gold: Oh, and by the way, after what you pulled last week, I’m going to make sure you learn some respect. Because next week, you’re going to face Jaice Wilds again. Only this time, you won’t be alone.

Justin is furious, running to the ropes. Jeremy’s eyes widen, and he runs backstage. Justin shouts obscenities at the entrance ramp, then turns to Hugh… SUPERKICK TO THE CHIN!!

Linzi Martin: GET HIM, JAICE!

Mikey Massacre: Oh, god…

Jaice lays into Justin with kicks and punches, then heads to the top turnbuckle. Justin gains his senses just enough to roll out of the ring, holding his head. He backs up the entrance ramp, yelling at Jaice.

Linzi Martin: Oh, come on! You’re a pansy, Justin!

Mikey Massacre: What the hell is that…

Justin continues backing up, until he bumps into something… he turns around, coming face-to-face with Legion! Did everyone forget he was still there?! Justin begins to hightail it back to the ring, stopping just shy of the apron. Jaice looks down, a dark grin. Justin looks back and forth between Legion and Jaice, trying to figure a way out.

Mikey Massacre: He’s trapped! Justin Case is trapped!

Justin takes a deep breath… then charges into the crowd! Legion runs to the barrier, climbing over it and taking chase after Justin. Jaice grins, laughing as “Animals” hits the speakers, the crowd roaring for the Xtreme Aerialist. At that moment, Violet Harper comes charging out from the back, nailing Wilds in the back of the head with the Aggression Championship. Jaice falls, holding his head as he tries to figure out what the hell just hit him. Violet throws a kick into the side of Wilds’ head, knocking the Xtremeist to the ground. At this point, Justin flies back over the guard rails, landing on Wilds, then gets up and charges back to the ring. Legion climbs over the barrier, noticing Violet pounding Jaice. He sees the Aggression Title and immediately plants a boot to the face of Harper. At that moment, Jeremy Gold re-enters the scene… on the big screen, cause he doesn’t want anyone to see him wet himself.

Jeremy Gold: You know what? I just had a brilliant idea. I’m killing two- or more- birds with one stone. Next week, at Armed Assault, we’re settling all the scores. Justin, Legion, you two will end this little feud of yours. Jaice, I’m giving you your Aggression Championship shot. And Violet, you get to prove all the critics wrong.

All four stare at the screen, wondering what Jeremy is pondering. One can see the trickle of “excitement” running down his pants, as he smiles and continues.

Jeremy Gold: At Armed Assault, it will be Justin Case! Versus Legion! Versus Jaice Wilds! Versus reigning Aggression Champion Violet Harper, in a four-way Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match! And it WILL be for the title!!

Jeremy laughs, turning his back to the camera… and falling through the backdrop he forgot he had. He stands, brushing off his suit and turns, walking off-camera. The four individuals look around at each other, glaring.

Linzi Martin: WHOA! What a match for Armed Assault! Four of our top competitors, locking horns in a match for the Aggression Title!

Mikey Massacre: Damn. I mean, who the hell is going to be able to pull this one off?

Linzi Martin: How the fuck should I know?

*****Vincent Black versus Legion*****

Black stares down Legion now in the middle of the ring as both men look each other in the eye. Black looks down at Legion menacingly, a confident smirk on his face as…

DING DING DING

Black immediately grabs Legion by the throat and tightens his grip around Legion’s Adams apple. Black lifts Legion off his feet, the crowd gasps in shock but Legion fights back sending out a few elbows into Black’s face. Black still has his grip over Legions throat, choking him as he stares down into Legions eyes. Legion kicks Black in the gut once, then a second time, then a third time until finally Vincent lets go of his hold. Legion with a snap clothesline sends Black to the canvas hard, the ring shaking from the impact.

Mikey Massacre: This is a battle of giants, Linzi.

Linzi Martin: Ohhhh Legion’s not thaaaat big. He’s just creepy is all! ^_^

Black rolls out of the way of a leg drop and right to the outside of the ring. A fan tosses Vincent a beer bottle and as Legion leans over the ropes to grab Black by his hair, Black cracks this beer bottle over Legions masked face. Legion takes a step back, still in the ring and adjusts his mask as Vincent searches under the ring for some weaponry. Legion begins doing the unthinkable, by climbing the turnbuckles to the top rope. The cameras flash heavily, almost blinding through the arena as Vincent finally stands up from underneath the ring. As Black turns around Legion FLIES off the top rope with a double axe handle smash! Black however swings with a baseball bat at the same time and both men connect simultaneously. Legion spins around and falls over onto the ring apron as Black falls to his knees holding onto the barricade between the fans and the rings. Legion quickly pulls himself together and begins stomping down on Vincent Black who tries blocking the flurry of fists as Legion goes all out brawl on a motherfucker.

Linzi Martin: See? Totally creepy, and mean! At least Vincent knows how to have a good time.

?

Mikey Massacre: Linzi, just shut up.

Black pushes back, cracking Legion with a European uppercut before grabbing him by the neck. This time Black is successful, chokeslamming Legion to the ground outside of the ring. Black reaches under the ring and slides out two tables setting them up. Legion is getting to his feet and grabs Black from behind and takes him down with a spinning neck breaker! Black is back up and Legion puts up a big boot right into his face as he charges him. Black is not going down easily and as Legion comes at him again, Black grabs a hold of Legion and hit’s a high angle spine buster through one of the tables! Black lifts Legion and throws him back into the ring.

Mikey Massacre: Could this be it for Legion?! Case got lucky, but Black may actually put Legion down and out.

Linzi Martin: Yes! That Church of Misery is so… Miserable!

Mikey Massacre: Oh how clever.

Linzi Martin: Thanks! ^_^

Legions priests watch on carefully, circling the ring as their prophet is pinned.

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!

Black grumbles as one of Legions priests on the outside sets the other table on fire!!! Black gets up and starts cussing the priests out, giving Legion ample time to get to his feet. Legion grabs Black from behind and spins him around, kicking him in the gut and then lifting him in the air… LEGION WITH ENTER BLACKNESS OVER THE TOP ROPE, THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE!!!! The crowd goes NUTS as Legion climbs out of the ring and quickly grabs Black up out of the flaming wreckage and throws him into the ring.

Mikey Massacre: That was insane. Picture perfect!

Linzi Martin: I think Legion, out of no where, just decimated Vincent Black and… Whoa, whoa WHOA! WAIT A SECOND!

From the crowd, “The Millennium Game” Justin Case appears! He has a kendo stick and hops over the barricade and leaps into the ring! Legion is caught off guard as Case unleashes a fury of an attack with the kendo stick, smacking Legion around the face multiple times. Vincent Black rolls away to catch his breath as Justin Case screams and yells at the top of his lungs, a mad man fucking possessed as he goes at Legion. Legions priests, all four of them, slide into the ring. One by one, Justin Case FUCKS them up and whacks them like flies out of the ring. They all go flying out, and Legion grabs Justin Case by the neck now and begins crushing his throat. Case spits in Legions face and cracks the kendo stick into Legions gut.

Mikey Massacre: Legion better watch out, Vincent Black is recovering…

Linzi Martin: I don’t think I’ve EVER seen Justin Case so angry and forceful. Kinda hot, really. Wooo!!!

Justin Case kicks Legion square in the balls and backs off, seeing Black behind him. Case laughs at Legion who gets quickly turned around and hit with the Keg Tap! Vincent Black quickly covers!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… VINCENT BLACK!!!!

Case is loving it as he hops over the top rope and makes his escape through the crowd. Vincent Black looks down at Legion, shaking his head.

Mikey Massacre: Legion got screwed, but I don’t think anyone will care for him.

Linzi Martin: What an explosive finish! And we’re at Armed Assault next week! We’re out of time folks! For Mikey, this is Linzi! GOOD NIGHT and see you NEXT WEEK!

The camera shows Black nodding approvingly as he makes his way up the entrance ramp, Legion is already back on his feet and shaking his head. We see Justin Case with a spotlight in the crowd, smiling and laughing. He has a microphone.

Justin Case: Justin Case you didn’t know… I RULE THIS FUCKING SHOW!

Fade to black…

*****QUICK RESULTS*****
Gabe Shelley & Alexia Fender defeat Golden Inferno
Bubba J defeats Justin Case
Vincent Black defeats Legion

*****Mysteries and Mayhem!*****

The camera cuts backstage to where two men stand in shadows. Both men are wearing masks, but one is nearly seven feet tall and the other is about six feet two or three inches with a beer gut protruding out slightly causing his “Rebel Pro” t-shirt.

Shorter Man: “I say its that car right there.”

He points to a car in the front parking space marked “Jeremy Gold”.

Larger Man: “And I say that you are shitting me, what gave it away?”

Shorter Man: “The fact that its parked in his spot you large dumbass.”

Both men laugh at the other before the shorter man pulls out a metal can of lighter fluid.

Shorter Man: “Who got the lighter?”

Larger Man: “I got the lighter.”

Shorter Man(as both walk forward): “Then time to get this bon fire started.”

Larger Man: “What about the other cars?”

The shorter man looks up at him.

Shorter Man: “Have we ever cared before?”

Larger Man(laughing): “Not

really.”

They look at each other as the shorter man sprays the contents of the can on the car.

Both: “Then why start now?”

They laugh together as they create a trail of lighter fluid to the entrance door to the arena.

Shorter Man: “This type of stuff will continue to happen until either Jeremy Gold or Simon returns Hostile.”

Larger Man: “Or give us his whereabouts.”

Shorter Man: “Ain’t that what I said you dumb sumbitch?”

Larger Man: “Not exactly.”

Shorter Man: “Its what I meant. Now light it before someone comes out here.”

The larger man strikes a match, tossing it onto the line of fluid that quickly burns to the car as they duck towards the door.

Both: “To the original Inferno!”

The car wooshes up into flames as both men dive into the arena, pulling off their masks as the door shuts.

BOOM!

*****The Old Switch-A-Roo!*****

We jump backstage with a camera full in the face of the Phoenix. He’s doing his best

to look sombre.

THE PHOENIX: Look, I know we’ve had our differences as of late. I know I had you buried and then ran out of the PWA. I know I’ve used you guys and let you get beaten up and put you down and basically just treated you guys as my goons.

The Phoenix talks right passed the camera to some unknown figure behind it. It’s some very enjoyable camera work indeed.

THE PHOENIX: But, the thing is… you are my goons. That’s your job, and so I need you two to do this match for me tonight, because I just did that stupid fucking electric cage match and I don’t really feel like getting kicked in the face again for these toothless, indy fucktards.

The camera slowly turns around, revealing Might and Magic on the other side.

THE PHOENIX: And I know you’ll do it, because you need the money… I know that because I fired you.

It’s the worst apology ever, but it is what it is, and he walks away. The Dragon and Moke look one another, one sighing and one offering a shrug.

*****Dodo-A-Gogo versus The Phoenix & Mr. Hardcore*****

Lisa starts for her team as the Dragon leaps off for his. The two approach the centre of the ring and start to circle with the Dragon moving in closer. He then drops to a knee and shoots, only to snap back when Lisa whips a kick at his head. The Dragon finds himself on his back and Lisa over the top of him, and just manages to dive out of the way as Lisa leaps up and brings her heel down into the mat. The Dragon then jumps up behind her and grabs a Waistlock, using it to power her to the floor. The Dragon then floats over the top and secures a North-South Choke. Lisa quickly peels off the arm and ends up on top of him, but Dragon is able to power back to his feet. He then pushes Lisa toward the corner, but she clutches her hands around the back of his head and pulls him down into a knee in the chest that causes him to drop. Lisa then bounces off the nearest set of ropes, jumps forward and drives a round kick into his chest to put him down.

Linzi Martin: Lisa fires off a kick and puts the Dragon down.

Lisa quickly leans back and makes the tag to Anna before pulling the Dragon closer to the corner. Anna then leaps up onto the ropes and comes down with a Front Flip Senton across the Dragon’s chest before rolling off. Meanwhile Lisa hits the ropes, leaping up to the second and shooting back with a no hands Lionsault.

Mikey Massacre: Lisa with the Echo Effect, but Anna is in position…

Lisa quickly jumps off the cover as Anna bounces on her feet and then comes down on the Dragon with a Standing Corkscrew Senton, driving the wind out of him and quickly covering for the pin.

1

2

Linzi Martin: And out.

Moke teases a run-in that Lisa calls out, but the Dragon is already out and beginning to make a move for his corner. Anna however catches him with a kick and brings him to his feet against the ropes. She then tags him with a few hits and fires herself across the ring into the ropes, only to be brought down from the outside as the Phoenix sweeps the leg and then backs out of the way. The Dragon is still groggy but he capitalises in a second, throwing himself across the ring and catching her with a Dropkick on the top of the head. He then grabs a leg and pulls her to the corner, where he tags in Moke.

Mikey Massacre: And here comes the big man.

Linzi Martin: Pretty sure he weights more than both his opponents combined.

Lisa has a fit in the corner about the Phoenix that everyone does their best to ignore. Meanwhile Moke steps in over the top of Anna and sits down upon her back. Anna seemingly deflates as Moke flattens the majority of her bones, and then steps back to allow her to crawl toward her corner. He lets her get tantalisingly close before grabbing a leg and pulling her back. He then uses one hand to pull her off the mat and into a Waistlock, before tossing her up into the air and bringing her down across his knee in a huge Backbreaker. Moke then holds her in place and reaches back for the tag.

Mikey Massacre: Looks like some big double team coming up.

Linzi Martin: That reminds me of a funny story from college.

Mikey Massacre: Oh does.. Wait, what?

The Dragon climbs the ropes from the outside, steadies himself on the top and then comes off with an Elbow Drop down across Anna’s chest, bending her in two across Moke’s knee.

Linzi Martin: Dragon on the pin.

1

Lisa jumps in…

2

… and she catches the Dragon with a Dropkick before slipping out of the ring, just in time to avoid a big fly swatter shot from Moke, but not nearly quick enough to avoid the Phoenix, who catches her on the twist with a Clothesline, turning her inside out.

Linzi Martin: What a dick move. But what can you expect.

The Phoenix celebrates on the floor like a massive fucking prick. Meanwhile the Dragon pulls Anna back to her feet and drops her with a Russian Legsweep and then darts out of the way as Moke comes across the ring with a huge Splash, pancaking her already tiny and shattered bones. The Dragon then settles on the cover again.

1

2

Mikey Massacre: No! Anna pops out of the pin!

Moke steps out onto the apron as the Dragon remains in control, pulling Anna to her knees and then slapping her across the face, which pulls a harsh reaction from the fans. The Dragon leans back and soaks it all in, but the momentary laps in concentration allows Anna to get her wits about her. She then waits for the Dragon to turn around before leaping off the map, catching her legs around his throat and sending him across the ring.

Linzi Martin: Anna out of nowhere kips up and catches him with a beautiful Hurricanrana, but there’s no one to make the tag.

Anna scrambles up, only to be caught in the meaty grasp of Moke Doshkey, who jacks her up for a Chokeslam, only to lose his grip. Anna then lands on his shoulders and drops an elbow on top of his head, but he shakes it off and then pushes her off toward the Dragon, who catches her in mid-air and buries her with a German Suplex.

Mikey Massacre: Huge impact on that German Suplex.

Linzi Martin: He can’t even hold onto her, but he turns over.

1

2

Mikey Massacre: And Anna squeaks out again.

Tiny cartoon birds are flying around Anna’s head but she remains alive. In a fit of annoyance, The Dragon pulls Anna off the floor and then slams her back to the mat. He then turns his attention to the corner. He then steps up to the top and points to the crowd, making sure all eyes are on him before coming off with a Legdrop, that splatters him across the canvas.

Mikey Massacre: Nobody home!

Linzi Martin: And Lisa’s finally back to her corner. This could be the break they needed.

The Dragon recovers as best he can. Meanwhile Anna pulls herself up in the neutral corner and waits for the Dragon to rise, before leaping forward and smashing him with the Butterfly Kick. She then makes the leap to Lisa…

Mikey Massacre: There’s the tag!

Lisa clears the top-rope and steamrolls the Dragon with a Yakuza Kick before he can even get off his knees. Lisa then pulls him up in the ropes and lets go a barrage of strikes before running to the ropes, or at least making an attempt as the Dragon catches her from behind and throws her overhead with a German Suplex. She catches the top-rope though and saves herself from a fall, and then follows up with a Leaping High-Kick over the ropes to send the Dragon away. Meanwhile Moke comes across on the floor and throws out an arm at Lisa’s legs, but she’s able to jump up out of the way and then stun him with a kick in the jaw. She then takes a run toward the corner.

Linzi Martin: High risk, coming up!

Lisa runs up the ropes and onto the top, aiming toward the Dragon. He quickly drops and covers up, but he needn’t bother as Lisa throws herself backwards into a Corkscrew Moonsault that takes out the Phoenix on the floor.

Mikey Massacre: Suicide Dive to the floor and she takes the Phoenix out!

Linzi Martin: Gotta think he had that one coming.

Lisa clambers to her feet as the Phoenix pulls himself up against the announce table. Lisa gets to the apron and calls to Anna, who takes a run toward Lisa who springs up onto the ropes just as Anna flies in between them with a Cannonball Dive, crushing the Phoenix against the announce desk.

Mikey Massacre: Tope Con Hilo from Anna! And the Phoenix is well and truly out of this match!

Meanwhile, Lisa leaps from the ropes and flies toward the Dragon, coiling up her legs and turning into a spin, before kicking out and crushing her heels against his face.

Linzi Martin: The Picture of Perfection from Lisa!

Lisa jumps on the cover.

1

2

Mikey Massacre: And Moke saves this match for his team!

Moke pulls Lisa free and then tries to drop an elbow on her back, but she quickly scampers to the nearest corner. He then chases her down and fires a knee, only for Lisa to roll past and pop up behind him. Lisa then fires a Dropkick into his chest, but it bounces off harmlessly and sends her tumbling overhead. Moke then charges and misses again as Lisa slides through his legs and into her corner, where Anna is waiting for the tag.

Linzi Martin: Anna back legal for her team while the Dragon is still in charge for his.

Anna springs up into a Crossbody Block on Moke that he easily manages to catch. Lisa however grabs her legs and sends them for a swing, allowing Anna to whip around and drop Moke with a DDT. He rolls toward the ropes and Lisa follows up with Baseball slide to take him out of the ring. Meanwhile Anna moves toward the Dragon.

Mikey Massacre: He catches her in a Small Package!

1

2

Linzi Martin: No, she’s out again!

The Dragon tries to hold the advantage by catching her rising for a Northern Lights Suplex, but Anna knees him in the chest and sends him back. She then races up and whips him toward the ropes where Lisa is leaping up, but Moke catches her leg and pulls her back down, face first across the apron. Meanwhile the Dragon hits the ropes safely, fires back and snaps Anna in two with a Lariat.

Mikey Massacre: Lisa is out on the floor, Anna is down and Might and Magic are in full control.

Moke sends Lisa into the barrier, meanwhile the Dragon has Anna up for a Piledriver, and buries her in the centre of the ring.

Linzi Martin: She’s out!

Mikey Massacre: Covers…

1

2

Mikey Massacre: No! She survives again.

The Dragon calls for Moke to get in the ring as he pulls peels Anna off the mat again. He then clobbers her with a few forearms before sending her toward Moke, who drops her with a knee in the gut. The Dragon then points two thumbs to the sky.

Linzi Martin: Dragon signalling for The Arockalypse.
Mikey Massacre: That’ll do it alright.

Moke gets Anna up into a standing Fireman’s Carry and prepares to push up, but she hooks both hands around his arm and begins striking away with knees to the side of his head. Moke is eventually able to shrug it off though, and turns to allow the Dragon to give her a right hand across the side of the head.

Mikey Massacre: This one is all over.

Moke pushes Anna into the air, just as Lisa rushes in and digs both heels into his chest with a Shotgun Dropkick that sends him into the corner. The Dragon tries to salvage the move and catch Anna with the cutter, but the move is thrown off, allowing Anna to get her legs beneath her and land on his shoulders. She then snaps back, drilling him into the mat with an Inverted Hurricanrana.

Linzi Martin: No! Anna knocks Moke loopy with knees and then Lisa sends him flying! And now all of a sudden the Dragon is down and out!

The Dragon pops up to his knees and Lisa instantly jumps on him, dragging him up off the mat into the clinch and smashing him between the eyes with a knee, and then a second, sending him back to his knees. Lisa then rears back and lets rips, smashing him with a Roundhouse Kick and putting him out for the count.

Linzi Martin: Lisa takes out the Dragon with the Killer, but here comes the big man.

The Dragon flops over onto his back as Moke charges toward the pair, throwing a clothesline at Lisa that she manages to roll through, leaving Moke in front of Anna Mathews, who just happens to be waiting for him on the top-rope. Moke turns to dodge but Anna doesn’t give him a chance and leaps off with a double stomp across the back of his shoulders. Moke slowly crumples beneath the blow, but Anna still manages to use him as a launching pad, sending her forward into the 630 down through the Dragon.

Mikey Massacre: Slash and Burn from Anna Mathews! The Dragon is out for the count.

Anna hooks a leg.

1

Moke turns around. He’s on his knees.

2

Lisa leaps over Anna and launches two knees into Moke’s face.

3!

Linzi Martin: They’ve done it! Anna and Lisa win! GIRL POWER!

The Phoenix is up against the apron and looking about exactly as unimpressed as you’d hope. Lisa and Anna very much do not. If anything they’re quite happy with their lot.

Jenny Jersey: Your winners… Anna Mathews… Lisa Seldon… DODO-A-GOGO!

Anna climbs the corner nearest the Phoenix and celebrates very animatedly. Meanwhile Lisa drops to her knees near the ropes and gives the Phoenix a wave.

*****Up In Smoke*****

We fade backstage to the arena’s parking lot as the fire fighters have just finished putting out the blaze of one Jeremy Gold’s car. Gold stands off in the distance, quivering and sulking as he wipes the tears from his eyes. His weird little pal, Inferno is up close to the now charred car and seems to be sniffing it, rubbing it and licking it to his own sick and twisted pleasure.

Jeremy Gold: I can’t believe this is happening..

Simon Kalis joins them and pats Gold on the shoulder, a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth.

Simon Kalis: You know who did this, right?

Inferno: FIYAH!!! FIYAH FIYAH FIYAAAAAH!

He seems happy, at least.

Jeremy Gold: I’ve got a good idea, dude. I think they think we’re behind Hostile’s difference.

Gold looks around sneakily, somewhat fearfully as well.

Jeremy Gold: They don’t realize maybe Hostile’s just a little bitch?

Kalis scratches his chin as he flicks some ash on the ground.

Simon Kalis: I guess this would be a bad time to mention I’ve been keeping Hostile hog tied in your trunk?

Kalis cracks a grin and laughs as he turns to walk back into the arena.

Jeremy Gold: DUDE!!! Do you mean to tell me…?

Gold’s eyes widen as he stares at his charred car.

Simon Kalis: Fuck Bubba J, fuck Vincent Black. It’s time for an iron fist, Jer.

Fade…

*****Legion versus “The Show” Chad Kurtis*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first!

No music at all plays as Legion steps out with four priests of the Church of Misery at his sides.

Linzi Martin: Why does he have to call it the Church of Misery? That sounds dull, and a little sad.

Legion ignores the booing crowd as he makes his way to the ring.

Mikey Massacre: What do you want him to call it, Linzi? The Church of Happy Fun Times?

Linzi Martin: Hey! Yeah! That’d be swell! I’d go to that Church.

Mikey Massacre: You’re so ditsy.

Linzi Martin: Oh you noticed! Thanks.

Mikey Massacre: Right…

Jenny Jersey: Standing in at 6’5 feet tall and weighing in at 260 pounds… He is LEGION!!!

Legion climbs into the ring and looks around, impressive in stature and essence. “Cocky” by Kid Rock hits and “The Show” Chad Kurtis immediately steps out to strong applause and cheers.

Jenny Jersey: His opponent!

Kurtis wastes no time running past Legion’s priests and sliding into the ring, forcing Jenny out before she can even finish the announcement. But the crowd obviously knows who Chad Kurtis is.

DING DING DING

The match starts off with a big clash in the middle of the ring, Legion’s priests keeping a close eye on the situation from outside of the ring. Legion overpowers Kurtis and whips him into the ropes, the barbed wire middle rope cutting into Chad’s back right away. Chad ducks a big boot that was aimed at his head and hit’s a spinning heel kick into the back of Legion’s head. Legion stumbles forward and shakes his head but Chad rushes at him, springboards himself off the top rope and twists into a dropkick right into Legion’s face. Legion falls to his knees and Chad runs from behind him, jumping onto Legions shoulders and sending Legion neck first into those pesky barbed wire middle ropes. Chad bounces himself up and down on Legion’s shoulders, cutting and choking him against the barbed wire. Legion with an elbow

hits “The Show” wildly until Chad falls back off of him.

Linzi Martin: Ever since they put in those new middle ropes made entirely out of barbed wire, people seem to use them to their advantage just like Chad right now.

Mikey Massacre: Yeah. I guess I’ll give Gold and Kalis that, making the middle ropes barbed wire was a pretty genius idea.

Linzi Martin: Oh you’re so sweet, Mikey!

One of Legion’s priests slide a folded chair into the ring towards him and he quickly grabs it. Chad kicks it out of his hands as Legion gets up but as Chad rushes to Legion, Legion quickly grabs him, spins him 180 degrees and flattens Chad Kurtis on the chair with a spine buster! Legion covers!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Kurtis kicks out well before the 3, but Legion isn’t too concerned as he begins pummelling Chad in the face with heavy right fists, holding him by the neck with his left hand. Legion finally lets go of his grip and gets to his feet, he shakes his head at the foolish fans who boo him. Legion picks up the chair slowly and methodically as he stalks Chad Kurtis, who is slow to get to his feet. As Chad stands up and turns around, Legion swings the chair and crumples it over his head. As the chair falls off Chad’s head Legion grabs him and puts him into a gorilla press before body slamming him into the canvas.

Mikey Massacre: Legion has taken control of this match away from Chad Kurtis it seems.

Linzi Martin: But I wouldn’t count The Show to be out!

Chad rolls away but Legion grabs him by the legs and pulls him back in towards himself. He flips Chad over onto his back but Kurtis pulls his legs free and kicks Legion’s legs out from under him. Chad gets up and quickly hit’s a spinning neck breaker on Legion, taking him down to the canvas. Chad is energized by the crowd and grabs the chair that Legion bashed him over the head with. He swings wildly, cracking Legion in the head, neck and chest as he goes at him. Legion’s still bleeding from his neck from the barbed wire rope too, and doesn’t seem to take well to getting the chair in his neck. Chad drops the chair though on Legion’s chest and quickly jumps up onto the top rope before coming off with a double foot stomp, on the chair, on Legion’s chest. Chad drops to his knees for a lateral press cover.

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Legion throws Chad off of him!

Mikey Massacre: I thought Kurtis might have just stolen this one out from under Legion!

Linzi Martin: Yeah. He should’ve. That Legion guy is creepy and stuff. He’s like Jesus, if Jesus was emo.

Chad quickly continues his offensive striking with a standing shooting star, before going for the cover again!

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!

Legion kicks out successfully once more and a small sign of frustration shows in Chad’s face as he scoffs at the referee. Chad heads back up to the top rope, crouched as he waits for Legion to get to his feet. As Legion turns around Chad comes off the top rope with a missile dropkick.. But Legion grabs him out of midair, lifts him higher and slams him to the canvas almost out of NO WHERE with Enter Blackness! Legion covers!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING!!!

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, LEGION!

Legion shakes his head as he looks down at Chad with disgust.

Mikey Massacre: And out of no where, Legion steals this one.

Linzi Martin: He’s really cementing himself as someone to be feared.

*****Marvellous REBELs*****

The opening chords of “In Fate’s Hands” by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus starts to play and the fans start to lose it. They jump to their feet as the former BWF World Champion and now BWF Owner Gabe Shelley’s music starts to play in their arena for the first time. Out from the curtains steps Gabe hand in hand with former eWo superstar, Alexia Fender. The two wave at the top of the ramp and Fender jogs down and slides into the ring. Shelley takes his time with still a noticeable limp in his step before he climbs into the ring. Fender is handed a microphone and points to some fans as she hands Gabe the mic.

Gabe Shelley: Ladies and gentlemen my name is Gabe Shelley and this is Alexia Fender…

The fans cheer for the two standing in the ring as he continues.

Gabe Shelley: Many might know that I recently left my only in-ring contract due to injury. So the question is, why am I here?

He tosses Fender the microphone and she winks at him and talks.

Alexia Fender: Because they say “never say never”. They told Gabe that he shouldn’t step into the ring anymore because of the chance of career ending injuries so they wouldn’t sign off on his next match. That’s when we asked for out release. Then last week we got a phone call and let’s just say the rest is history.

She hands Gabe the microphone and he stands his ground.

Gabe Shelley: Now, I’m clearly in now shape to come down to the ring week in and week out by myself and give everyone the effort I usually give. That’s why I’m not standing here alone. The REBEL officials have given me a contract offer and are willing to allow me to keep competing as where others wouldn’t. We stand in this ring as a tag team, as the newest members of the REBEL Pro roster.

The fans erupt again at the announcement and Gabe talks over them.

Gabe Shelley: This isn’t about Gabe Shelley looking to climb back to the top of a roster, this isn’t about Gabe Shelley adding another singles title… It’s about Alexia and I coming into REBEL and giving you fans someone to cheer for. It’s about coming to the ring each week and giving you amazing matches and then some day capturing those Tag Team Titles.

He stands beside Alexia as he hands her the microphone.

Alexia Fender: If that means that Corlen and Seldon need to be on watch, then so be it. Gabe and I aren’t here to play games, we’re here to work together at making an impact. We are here to be the new faces of tag team wrestling in REBEL Pro.

She drops the microphone and the music starts up as he raises her hand and we cut to the backstage area.

*****Realizations*****

Kalis leans back in his chair, lit cigarette in hand of course as he finishes watching Alexia Fender and Gabe Shelley make their first appearance on Aggression. Gold looks at the big HD TV they have in the office, which now shows them, and then back at Kalis. He keeps looking and scratches his head.

Jeremy Gold: So…? What the fuck dude?

Kalis spins around in his chair smiling. He leans forward, crushing the cigarette into the ash tray and then folding his hands.

Simon Kalis: I had a realization. An epiphany, you could say. The Phoenix. Lisa Seldon. Gabe Shelley.

Gold squints, leaning forward now himself.

Jeremy Gold: So? I mean yeah they’re all like, super massive superstars and stuff but what?

Simon Kalis: What do they all have in common?

Jeremy Gold: They’re all wrestlers in REBEL Pro?

Kalis spins himself around again turning away from Jeremy Gold.

Simon Kalis: No Jeremy. They’re each the respective owners of the other big three. The PWA. Victory. The BWF. And they all fight here… in REBEL fucking Pro.

Gold continues to scratch his chin like the drooling buffoon we all imagine him to be.

Jeremy Gold: That’s kind of creepy. But what does that even mean?

Simon shakes his head, smiling as we fade back to ringside.

*****Justin Case versus Jaice Wilds*****

Jaice rushes in immediately with a roaring elbow which takes Justin Case by surprise. He stumbles back into the corner turnbuckle and Jaice springboards himself off of the top rope and lands with a spinning heel kick. Case retaliates by throwing him to the canvas and hopping up to the top rope, planting his ass on the top turnbuckle before jumping off with a big leg drop as Jaice is getting to his feet, landing over the back of Jaice’s neck and sending him back down to the canvas hard. Jaice rolls away and gets to his feet now as Case bounces off the ropes and baseball slides his legs out from beneath him. He rolls over and puts himself over Wilds’ back and attempts to lock in a dragonhold sleeper but Jaice wildly throws elbows behind him to push Justin Case off of him. Case lets go, stumbling back.

Mikey Massacre: Some good back and forth here, but Jaice is so much smaller than TMG I wonder if he’ll be able to survive this.

Linzi Martin: Don’t count Jaice out, he is a former Aggression Champion himself.

Justin Case grabs Jaice Wilds from his hair and whips him into the turnbuckles. He follows through with a rising knee straight to Jaice’s face. He lifts Jaice up to the top rope and continues to pound him in the face with heavy lefts and rights. Hugh Aredone is on the outside and carefully sets up a table in their corner on the outside. It’s all very elaborate, but Jaice begins fighting back and elbowing Case in the ribs to get free but to no avail as Case head butts him and then clasps onto him. Suddenly…

Mikey Massacre: Whoa!

Linzi Martin: JUSTIN CASE WITH A SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE TO THE OUTSIDE… THROUGH A TABLE!!! Holy SHI-

They both crash through the table that Hugh Aredone had set up and seem to be in tremendous pain, especially Jaice Wilds. Case lifts himself out of the wreckage and raises his arms in the air, the fans both cheering and booing. Wilds low blows Case from behind and then hit’s a reverse DDT right back into a few broken pieces of the table. Wilds slides under the ring and disappears for a few moments as Hugh Aredone checks on Justin Case. Wilds pops out from under the ring at the opposite side with a garbage can in his grasp. He dumps the contents of the trash can out to reveal an array of different weapons for his chosing. Hugh Aredone gets on his cell phone for some reason as Case slides into the ring.

Mikey Massacre: Who could he possibly be calling at this time?

Linzi Martin: The police?!

Case springboards himself off the top rope to the outside but Wilds puts the trash can up and swings as Case comes in for a suicide plancha, and knocks him out of the air. Wilds begins slamming the trash can down over Case’s back before throwing it aside and picking up the cinder block that fell out of the trash. Wilds lifts it up high over Case’s head but Case kicks Wilds’ knee out from under him, forcing him to stumble back. Case grabs the trash can and throws it at Wilds. Wilds drops the cinder block and gets hit in the face with the trash can. Case is on his feet and he jumps up onto the apron, running along it before flying off and grabbing Wilds’ by the neck and head and dropping down with a stunning DDT right into the cinder block, cracking the cinder block in two with Jaice Wild’s now bleeding head.

Mikey Massacre: Case has that ability to come out of no where and just dominate a match with his presence and skill.

Linzi Martin: I’d let him dominate me for sure. Hehehe.

Case lifts Wilds up by the neck and head and throws him into the steel steps, Wilds’ hitting them shoulder first. Case throws his arms up, taunting the crowd. Some cheer, some boo, but all can see his dominance. Wilds is slowly getting up as Case rushes forward towards him. Wilds with a drop toe hold has Justin Case’s face slam hard into the corner of the steel steps, ripping his forehead open. The crowd cheers as both men bleed now on the outside. Wilds crawls away and gets himself together. He jumps up onto the thin barricade separating the fans from the action and runs along it as Justin Case gets to his feet, holding his face as he’s busted open. Wilds jumps off the barricade, spring boarding himself and giving Case a huge face buster right back against those steel steps!

Mikey Massacre: This is right. This is how it’s done in REBEL Pro.

Linzi Martin: Oh you make me tingle when you get excited, Mikey! Haha!

Wilds is up and lifts Case up, throwing him into the ring. He picks up the now 2 pieces of cinder block and throws them into the ring as well before sliding in. Case crawls away but Wilds picks up one of the cinder blocks and just throws it at Justin Case’s head, hitting him in the back of the head with it. Case’s eyes roll around in his head as the cinder block breaks apart on impact and he looks to be utterly KO’d. Hugh Aredone doesn’t seem too worried on the outside as Jaice quickly heads up to the top rope. Suddenly…

Linzi Martin: Oh my god, is that…

Mikey Massacre: It’s INS!? They must be here for Jaice!

Linzi Martin: So THAT’S who Hugh was calling! What a prick!

Jaice looks out to the INS workers who nod in his direction, giving Case ample time to hold his head as he gets up in pain. Justin Case picks up the other half of the cinder block still not totally destroyed and as Jaice notices him, he throws it right at Jaice. Jaice tries to put his hands up to block it but it still hits him in the face and now he slings forward half out of it while sitting on the top turnbuckle. Justin Case climbs up to the top rope after him and slinks Jaice forward inbetween his legs while Case himself stands on the middle turnbuckle. Case falls back and hit’s a piledriver off the middle turnbuckle right onto the cinder block!!! The crowd goes NUTS!!!! Case throws Wilds over and covers him!

1!

2!!

THRE-KICK OUT! JAICE WILDS KICKS OUT!!!

Justin Case can’t believe it! He looks up at the referee who shakes his head. The INS workers callously pull Jaice Wilds out of the ring and begin hauling him off and the crowd immediately begins to boo. Justin Case smirks, wiping the blood off of his face as he raises his hand in what appears to be a self proclaimed victory. Suddenly Jeremy Gold comes running out from the backstage area to stop the INS workers from taking Jaice. It’s inaudible to us watching but Gold has Wilds’ contract and seems to be arguing with these INS workers. Case ignores it, smiling as he poses for pictures for the crowd.

Mikey Massacre: This isn’t a way to win a match. Not by a longshot.

Linzi Martin: No! I can’t believe they’re trying to get Jaice deported!!! The boss man won’t stand for this shit!

The crowd doesn’t know how to react as LEGION appears in the crowd, pushing fans aside as he climbs over the barricade. Legion slides into the ring, Justin Case is still oblivious to him and thinks the crowd is laughing and cheering with him. Finally Case turns to look towards Jaice, and that’s when he sees it on the REBELTron. Legion, right behind him. His eyes widen as he turns around and gets nailed with a kick in the gut. Legion puts him in position and hits Case with ENTER BLACKNESS!!!! The crowd

can’t believe it as Legion now exit’s the ring and pushes his way past everyone on the ramp. Gold falls to his knees and begins praying to Legion with tears in his eyes, but Legion ignores him.

Mikey Massacre: What the hell is going on?! This is madness.

Jaice is freed and quickly runs back to the ring. Jaice jumps back up to the top rope, as Justin Case holds his head and neck. Case looks up but it’s too late… AERIAL ACE!!! Jaice Wilds quickly covers, hooking the legs!

1!

Mikey Massacre: Unbelievable!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match… JAICE WILDS!!!

The crowd goes nuts as Jaice has his hand raised in victory. Jaice however is still pretty out of it himself and falls to his knees, breathing hard as he watches the INS workers disappear. Legion however, remains standing atop the entrance ramp staring back at the ring menacingly.

Mikey Massacre: Legion is… I don’t even know. He’s a beast, a monster and quite frankly unstoppable.

Linzi Martin: This isn’t over Mikey… I don’t think it’s over by a long shot.

We see Legion standing in all his glory one more time, as Jaice wipes the blood from his face and Case holds his own face in disbelief as we fade to black…

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Dodo-A-Gogo defeat Might & Magic
Legion defeats “The Show” Chad Kurtis
Jaice Wilds defeats “The Millennium Game” Justin Case