*****Code RED*****
We find ourselves in the parking lot, where a familiar motorcycle revvs into a vacant space. The biker’s helmet is removed, and Lucious Starr makes his way to the entrance. A few security guards stop him, and he grins.
Lucious Starr: Howdy, fellas. If you don’t mind…
Security Guard 1: Sir, we’re not idiots. You need to leave.
Lucious shakes his head, chuckling. He starts in towards the door, but again is blocked.
Security Guard 2: Mr. Starr, we will not ask again. Return to your vehicle and leave. Now.
Lucious Starr: Guys. Seriously. It’s Armed Assault. If Kalis didn’t expect me to be here to see him, he would have…
Security Guard 3: We have explicit orders from Mr. Gold not to allow you into the building. Please…
Lucious Starr: Wait, Jeremy? Jeremy wants to ban me from the arena?
Security Guard 3: Indeed, sir. Now, I ask one last time. Return to your vehicle and leave.
Lucious shakes his head, chuckling. He turns… then comes back wielding an OoC custom Desert Eagle. The guards, however, have pulled their rifles, ready for the backlash.
Security Guard 1: You really think we wouldn’t expect this from you, Mr. Starr? Leave.
Lucious raises an eyebrow, contemplating his options. He lowers his gun, placing it back in its holster near his chest. He starts back towards his ducati, revving the engine.
Security Guard 2: Gate to Gold. The comet has been avoided. Repeat, the comet has been avoided.
At that moment, the ducati revvs around and blasts right through the guards, blowing down the entrance door as Lucious roars into the building. Security follows, but are left in the dust.
Security Guard 1: CODE RED! WE HAVE A CODE RED! ALL GUARDS ON FULL ALERT, THE COMET HAS HIT! THE COMET HAS HIT!!
Security continues to rush the halls, and the camera fades back to Gold’s office suddenly…
*****The Big Bad Man*****
The camera cuts backstage where it finds Jeremy Gold’s throat being squeezed by Bubba J as he holds him up against the wall. Bubba J’s face is right in that of the whimpering Gold as he growls out his words.
Bubba J: “I watched what Simon did to me the other night and it rekindled the anger I felt while I seethed in the hospital.”
J punches Gold right in the face, splitting his lip.
Bubba J: “Now, I know Simon is supposed to be here tonight, so tell me when and I won’t hurt you too badly.”
Gold whimpers more.
Bubba J: “You can even tell him that a big bad man made you tell him…”
Bubba J smirks.
“When he wakes up.”
Gold is whimpering again and pissing on himself as he mutters.
Gold: “He’ll be here in five minutes.”
Bubba J nods, allowing Gold to slide down the wall, but not to a seated position.
Bubba J: “One last thing… this is for Hostile, nothing to do with what Simon and I have to settle.”
J picks Gold up, slamming him through his desk, causing it to shatter into a dozen pieces. Bubba picks up his lap top bag and heads out to the parking lot area.
*****ARMED ASSAULT*****
We fade in, the room is dark. We know we’re somewhere in the arena, as we can hear the fans in the Superdome cheering and screaming loudly.
Voice: Revenue is up across all sectors. Attendance, merchandise, television. Ratings are through the roof.
We can see the spark of a lighter, and in that moment we see Simon Kalis’ face lit up from the flame as he lights a cigarette.
Simon Kalis: We’re in bigger buildings, of course attendance is up. We’re reaching more people, of course they’re buying shit. We’ve got a national television deal, of course ratings are up. Let’s not even forget that we’ve got the best World Champion in the AoWF, who is the AoWF World Champion on top of it.
We hear the other man chuckle to himself.
Voice: Hence the big statues of her as the ring stage?
Simon Kalis: Yep.
Kalis coughs to clear his throat.
Voice: You’ve done well, Aaron.
Simon Kalis: Have I? Larry Gordon had a vision, that REBEL Pro would go national. I merely implemented that vision… In my own way. I bought 49% of REBEL Pro, with the money I made selling the PWA back to the Sommers family.
Voice: After raising the stocks yourself. Clever.
Simon Kalis: Hmmm.
Voice: And your plan comes full circle.
The lights slowly turn on, and we see Simon wearing his fashionable black and white pinstripe Armani suit, with a tie that appears to have been made to look like it is covered in splotches of blood. How REBEL Pro. He’s smiling, devilishly.
Voice: It’s your vision now, Aaron. To make REBEL Pro the number one company in the AoWF, returning the blood soaked roots of battling in the South. Right?
Kalis shakes his head, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette.
Simon Kalis: I remember.
Voice: This is your chance, Aaron.
Aaron Simon Kalis smiles, shaking his head no.
Simon Kalis: This is their chance.
Kalis reaches under his desk and pulls out his custom Golden Gun, a gold plated Desert Eagle Mark VII. He aims it square at the camera lens.
Simon Kalis: Brought to you by The Order of Chaos! REBEL Pro PRESENTS: ARMED ASSAULT!
He fires, and fireworks pop off across the arena from the ceiling towards the great stage and REBELTron area, as well as the ring. The crowd is screaming and cheering, holding up all kinds of signs. “Justin Case U Didn’t Know- I Made This FUCKING Sign!”, “Popped My Cherry @ Hardcore Drinking!”, “LISA FOREVER!” are amongst the many signs that litter the already raucous and drunk crowd here in the Louisiana Superdome. The camera pans the stage set up for the entrance ramp, and at either side of the entrance curtain itself are two massive limestone statues of a carved Lisa Seldon holding three different championship belts.
Linzi Martin: Hello everyone! I’m Linzi Martin!
Mikey Massacre: What the hell kind of set is that? Massive statues of Lisa Seldon? Is this Victory Wrestling?
Linzi Martin: And uhm, errr… That’s Mikey Massacre! And WELCOME to Armed Assault! Brought to you in part by CthuluPAC! Cthulu for President 2012!
Mikey Massacre: I’m not saying the line, Linzi.
Linzi Martin: Yeah but Simon says-
Mikey Massacre: I don’t care.
Linzi Martin: Well uhm. Cthulu for President 2012! Why chose the lesser evil?! Armed Assault is also brought to you tonight by The Order of Chaos!
Mikey Massacre: I am definitely not saying the next line, either.
Linzi Martin: Well I don‘t mind! All Hail The Order of Chaos! Your forever overlords over the entire AoWF!
Mikey Massacre: Is this what it’s come to?
Linzi Martin: Is what come to what?
Mikey Massacre: You wouldn’t understand. I’m talking to the real REBELs out there, not all of these phonies.
Linzi Martin: I uh don’t know what to say to that.
Mikey Massacre: Well, we’ve got a hell of a night ahead of us don’t we?
Linzi Martin: Yes! We’ve got Hardcore Entertainment, those mean drunk bastards Vincent Black and Bubba J taking on the awesome Gabe Shelley and super hot chick power wonder woman Alexia Fender in a barbed wire frickin’ cage match! All to see who’ll face the REBEL Pro Tag Team Champions!
Mikey Massacre: And then it says here an AoWF Tag Team League match? Who the hell cares about that? Why is that even on a REBEL Pro event? None of these people work for REBEL Pro.
Linzi Martin: Now you’re just being picky, Mikey!
Mikey Massacre: Well at least there’s hope with the Aggression title match.
Linzi Martin: Yeah! That should be awesome!
Mikey Massacre: Is Lisa Seldons reign finally over tonight?
Linzi Martin: Never! Lisa Forever!
Mikey Massacre: Right… I forgot, you’re a dimwit.
Linzi Martin: Hey, I have lots of wit! Besides, only lights get dim! Silly!
*****The Wolf and The Eagle*****
It’s all about progression…
Or so the song says, as “On To The Next One” by Jay-Z is picked up by the camera’s microphone as we open up backstage. The silhouette on the wall paints a picture of someone deep into a pre-match workout session. Ear buds blast out sound loud enough to where no speakers are needed. The camera flips around barely catching whoever the man working out is, and instead lands on Mr. Rebel Pro himself, Simon Kalis. A voice picks up, and is immediately recognizable…
Thunderwolf: Aaron Simon Kalis…
There’s a pause, followed by a smirk as the camera pans around to catch Dustin Kelser throwing a towel up to wipe the sweat off his head …
Thunderwolf: It’s been a minute, my friend.
Simon Kalis: A very long minute, I’d say.
Simon extends his hand out for a shake. Thunderwolf first takes out his ear buds, then accepts and pulls Kalis in to his chest for a quick bump. He throws the towel to the side and takes a step back, grabbing for a SoBe vitamin water out of his Night of Armageddon Five themed cooler.
Thunderwolf: Want one?
Simon Kalis: No that’s cool. I’ll stick to my regiment of cigarettes and cognac.
Simon laughs, taking a step forward and looking Thunderwolf up and down.
Simon Kalis: Time has been a lot kinder to you, than it has to me. You’re still in tip top fighting condition.
Thunderwolf chuckles to himself.
Thunderwolf: Thanks, unfortunately I’m still getting used to the new knee. Was kind of necessity after all, I mean taking a loss to Matthew Engel? That’s rough. Maybe not to some of these new cats, but to people like yours truly – it’s a mar on the record I won’t soon forget.
He pauses for a moment.
Thunderwolf: So to what do I owe your presence? Been plenty of opportunities to shoot the shit before I came over to your neck of the woods. Something tells me your not here for a pat on the back and a pinch on the cheek.
Kalis rubs the back of his neck and then shrugs, aware of the truth in Thunderwolf’s words.
Simon Kalis: Yeah, I know. I’ve been busy, I’m sure you noticed all the shit I’ve gotten myself into since finally coming to the AoWF. Even as old as I am in this line of work, I’m still learning.
Kalis pulls up a steel chair, unfolding it and sitting down quite casually.
Simon Kalis: What I’m doing here is building a new legacy. I am taking REBEL Pro to new heights, from a three state independent organization into a national, and eventually worldwide, standard of wrestling. In no uncertain terms, the more drastic and extreme aspects of this sport. I need a face, I need an icon Dustin. That icon is you.
With a flicker of the eyes Dustin sighs and takes a drink of his water, regret written within his voice; he almost mumbles.
Thunderwolf: I can’t.
Kalis leans back, making a “tch” sound with his mouth as he shakes his head.
Simon Kalis: Can’t? Or won’t?
It’s obvious Thunderwolf doesn’t want to go into the spiel. They’re watching. They’re always watching.
Thunderwolf: Can’t. As in I’m both contractually and honorably obligated to not sign a singles contract with any individual promotion. Indy-style exhibition events, tag matches, that sort of thing? I can kind of skirt the issue on. Beyond that, my hands are tied behind my back.
Kalis puts his hands on his knees as he leans forward, lowering his head but nodding.
Simon Kalis: I understand. But do not for an instance forget my guile and cunning, old friend.
Kalis leans back again, a new smile over his face as he taps his head.
Simon Kalis: There is always a way.
A little bit of anger picks up in his voice, not at Simon, but at the situation at hand.
Thunderwolf: Yeah, but at what cost? You saw what they did to my…
He pauses choosing the adjective, but instead just goes with the name.
Thunderwolf: Her, you saw what they did to ‘her’. What’s next, my kids? I used to be a very integral part of their operation, I know how they work.
There’s still regret written upon his face, he wants a contract.
Thunderwolf: Look man, if I could help you out I would – but this idea? It goes no further than this conversation. Alright?
Kalis nods, although he shows a bitter taste in his mouth he fully understands.
Simon Kalis: We’ve all got our demons.
Kalis opens the suit jacket he has on, revealing the skull emblem of the Order on the inside pocket.
Simon Kalis: I know. The difference between you and me though?
Kalis sits up but tips his head in respect to Thunderwolf.
Simon Kalis: I am the master of my domain.
He doesn’t understand. No one could understand.
Simon Kalis: You know I’ve got your back if you need it.
Simon turns around to leave but stops dead in his tracks.
Simon Kalis: Oh, and tell Corey I said hello.
He cracks a grin. Thunderwolf shoots him one back and goes back to the music.
*****AoWF Tag Team League Match*****
*****The (Super) Power Couple versus Corey Lazarus & Thunderwolf*****
DING DING
Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and is an AoWF Tag Team League match!
The lights in the arena die, and the REBELTron shows nothing but a black and white film countdown, the film flickering and a beep heard after every digit.
A trio of drumrolls cue up Slayer’s “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” and the guitars ring as the bass carries the main melody. Chug-chug-chug-chug goes both guitars before going into the main melody along with the bass, and, at the 27-second mark, Corey Lazarus and Gregory Price emerge from the entrance curtain, with Price chomping away on a stick of gum in his mouth as Corey sips on a bottle of Aquafina. Laz’s eyes, as usual, stay hidden behind his trademark pair of silver-rimmed Ray Ban’s, and he hangs his arms at his sides after he runs his fingers over his moustache and goatee.
~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby!=~
Jenny Jersey: Introducing at this time, accompanied by Gregory Price…
Lazarus steps further onto the stage, turning around slowly to take a quick look at the ADC-Tron before stopping at the end of the stage, his back to the ramp and the ring before turning around. Price pats his client on the shoulder, and then looks at the ADC-Tron with him as Corey cracks his neck to either side, stretching out and jogging in place.
~=Don’t you know that I love you?!=~
Jenny Jersey: He weighs in tonight at 230 pounds…
~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey!=~
~=Don’t you know that I’ll ALWAYS be true?!=~
Jenny Jersey: And standing at 6-foot-1…
Lazarus continues to jog in place at the end of the stage as the guitars duel into the start of the first chorus, shaking out his limbs, and then throws a few shadow punches and kicks into the air.
~=Oh, won’t you come with me?=~
~=And take my hand?=~
Price points up at the ADC-Tron, focusing everybody’s attention to more clips of Laz’s glory: dropping Demise head-first into a casket via the Mercury Driver to claim the PWA World Heavyweight title at High Stakes ’08; drilling Riona Langly with a picture-perfect example of the Sands of Ishtar for his first Intercontinental title at Genesis IX; dropping Thunderwolf down with the Box Office Bomb to claim the first fall in their classic 2/3 Falls match at Genesis X; and, most recently, sending Cody Bogard through the Million Dollar Pyramid on the 8/9/2010 edition of Chaos.
~=Oh, won’t you come with me?!=~
~=And walk this land?!=~
Jenny Jersey: Hailing from Hollywood, California…
The guitars divebomb, and Laz starts making his way down the ramp, looking out around the arena, spying on every bit of the crowd in front of him.
~=PLEASE, TAKE MY HAND!!=~
The drums beat along as Corey bangs his head with them and the main melody of the song returns, Lazarus taking a sip from his Aquafina as he stops halfway down the ramp.
~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby!=~
~=Don’t you know that I love you?!=~
Jenny Jersey: Hailing from Hollywood, California…
Laz jaws with some fans in the front row before turning back around to watch himself on the ADC-Tron, his trademark devilish smirk on his face as he walks backwards down the ramp.
Jenny Jersey: He is “The Premiere Attraction”…
~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey!=~
~=Don’t you know that I’ll ALWAYS be true?!=~
Corey turns around to face the ring as they reach the bottom of the ramp, the guitars dueling before the chorus, and then pulls himself up onto the apron, placing one foot in the ring between the top and middle ropes, using one hand to hold the top rope for balance and the other to cover his eyes as he scans the crowd again. Price walks over to the ringsteps, scaling them with a cocky swagger as he walks onto the apron next to Laz.
Jenny Jersey: …COREY LAZARUS!!!
~=Oh, won’t you come with me?!=~
~=And take my hand?!=~
Lazarus steps into the ring and then walks to the middle of the ring, his hands on his hips and his trademark devilish smirk on his face. Price steps in afterwards, pointing the entire time to his client, applauding him. The music keeps pounding away as Corey drops to a knee, his head bowed and a single fist placed on the mat, his other hand resting on his knee.
~=Oh, won’t you come with me?!=~
~=And walk this land?!=~
The guitars divebomb again as Lazarus bobs his head to the beat of the drums, breathing heavier and heavier as he does so.
~=PLEASE, TAKE MY HAND!!=~
Corey leaps to his feet as the main riff returns at the end of the chorus, his arms spread out to his side after he rips his Ray Ban’s off, turning his body around to all sides of the arena as flashbulbs go off everywhere. “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” fades into silence as Corey backs up to his corner, removing his Ray Ban’s and handing them off to Price. He adjusts the tape on his hands and then stretches his legs out, using the middle ropes, before shadow-boxing. Gregory steps out onto the apron and walks down the steps, taking his place at ringside in Laz’s corner.
Linzi Martin: Hot! Hot! HOT!
Mikey Massacre: I take it you find him attractive?
Linzi Martin: Well… Who doesn’t?
Mikey Massacre: I don’t.
The sound of the mighty Atlantic crashing into one of the many shores of Bermuda purges through the sound system, and with that comes the sound of a single seagull… The lights begin melding into a beautiful aqua blue, and as most of the fans divert their attention to the screen above the scaffold to see what’s going on, a simple drum tap and bassline begin to kick into gear – a number of fans from this promotion, at least some of them, and especially those of the old school AOWF persuasion, should all ready know what to expect….
“Now or Never”. Dope. The fans that get it are automatically launching out fanfare, and while it’s meshed inbetween a number of cheer’s, but mostly boo’s for tonight’s match up, it comes across loud and clear in what could be described as at least somewhat of a massive cult roar, especially from those faithfuls….
### What’d you go and do that for? ###
### I see the way you’re Looking at me… ###
### …And I don’t know why ###
### I don’t know and I’m not sure… ###
### …Have you lost your way? ###
### …Did You Lose Your Mind? ###
### …Are You Out of Time? ###
The last note of the aforementioned song seems to catch, right on the 30 second mark as aqua-toned fountains of sulfur pour down from the scaffold – which in turn cues a dimly lit spot light on the entry way as former AOWF alumni, Dustin “Thunderwolf” Kelser strolls out from the back. The screen above him begins ticking off various moments from Wolf’s career as the camera gets a close up on the video, but doesn’t last for long as the camera tilts back down to catch the two passing under an aqua sulfuric storm from the scaffold.
JENNY JERSEY: He hails from Tucker’s Town, Bermuda…
### You say goodbye… ###
### Like everything’s all right. ###
### You say goodbye…. ###
### Like everything’s all right… ###
Thunderwolf’s attire consists of camel colored cargos, an open, short sleeve, button down silk shirt (cadet blue in color), black and blue K-Swiss classics (laced up in blue), and a pair of super thin, black, finger tip gloves. He adjusts his color before heading to the center of the entry way.
### If we go on it’s now or never ###
### If we go on… ###
?
JENNY JERSEY: He is a PWA Hall of Famer and former two-time AoWF Intercontinental Champion… standing in tonight at 5’11″ and weighing in at 194 pounds…
### If we go on it’s now or never ###
### If we go on… ###
JENNY JERSEY: He is… DUSTIN… “THUNDERWOLF”…. KELSER!
Thunderwolf slides into the ring and nods in Corey Lazarus’ direction as both men now begin discussing their strategy in their corner.
Mikey Massacre: I get the strangest feeling this match won’t take as long as it did for these two outsider knuckleheads to get to the ring. These PWA guys have such a flare for the dramatic.
Linzi Martin: They’re awesome!
Mikey Massacre: Here in REBEL Pro, they’re prey.
You were expecting the sound of the opening bell to start off this epic showdown which will probably turn into an eight minute bloodbath as Stutterfly and Spykeman! don’t really stand a chance. But it isn’t the bell. It’s a chorus from “Sympathy from the Devil” performed by Guns N’ Roses.
[just as every cop's a criminal]
[and all the sinners saints]
[as heads is tails just call me Lucifer]
['cause i'm in need... of some restraint]
The PWA World Champion walks out from behind the curtain, dressed in a fine black tailored suit and has the PWA World Championship over his shoulder. He walks down to the ring, with a microphone in his hand. He receives an ovation from the crowd as they remember his delightfully painful battle with Teresa Quaranta on the fourth of July. He was definitely getting paid overtime for that.
Linzi Martin: What’s HE doing here?
Mikey Massacre: He’s got a lot of history with one of these teams here tonight.
The music dies down as Matthew Engel steps into the ring much to the surprise of both Corey Lazarus and Thunderwolf. They really don’t know what to expect as Engel lifts the microphone up to his lips. The crowd is going nuts, having three PWA Hall of Famers of such amazing caliber in the ring at once.
Matthew Engel: I’m here to put some people’s egos on the line.
The crowd cheers, Wolf cocks his head a little bit.
Matthew Engel: Not you, Dustin. I already own yours.
Wolf shakes his head, pointing at his knee.
Matthew Engel: Oh it’s all better now? Wittle Thunderwolf can come out to play?
Lazarus has a ‘What the fuck?’ look on his face.
Matthew Engel: You know how long it’s been, Cor? Over two and a half years.
We can see Lazarus mouth “Since when?”
Matthew Engel: Since Ground Zero. Since you eliminated me from the Dome of Destruction match. You go back a little earlier and it’s been a tad longer since you cost me my championship match against SNS at Good versus Evil and stole the World Championship. This World Championship, to be exact.
He drops it down from his shoulder and holds it out in front of Corey.
Matthew Engel: Shiny isn’t it? Fun fact: I’ve held this title longer this year than the two of you held it together. I’m here to put zero doubt to the fact that I’m better than both of you since that statement alone won’t be enough with two elite superstars like yourselves. Trust me, this isn’t a grudge thing. I mean, I understand what you did back then, Corey. I don’t sweat over it. And I understand why Dustin was in the position he was back in April. Believe it or not, Dustin will always be family to me. And Corey? You’ll always be that kid that I hated at first but grew to like and do some good business with. Which is why I’m here.
The L-A-Z pays close attention, while Thunderwolf begins to shadowbox.
Matthew Engel: Wow, really? Right in the middle of my speech here?
Wolf shrugs his shoulders and then leans against the ropes. The Super Power Couple is a little flustered by all this real star power.
Matthew Engel: You pick the time and place, Corey. I want you in a singles match, settle the rivalry. I’ll show the world that out of us three, I’ll always be the best. So whether it’s at the next BWF pay-per-view, if there is one, or at Rebel Pro’s next event, or wherever… it’s up to you man. I know you’re a busy guy, trying to live a life of luxury and still keep your technique sharp. So you let me know when your schedule frees up and I’ll give you a tougher fight than Dustin did at Genesis.
Wolf and Laz look at each other with wide eyes.
Matthew Engel: Oh, yes, I went there. Let me know. Have a good fight! Don’t hurt these kids too bad.
Engel smirks and tosses the mic out of the ring, exiting the ring himself. He walks up the rampway to the roaring of the crowd as the L-A-Z looks on, with Thunderwolf waiting for the bell. Engel stops and looks up at the two massive limestone statues of Lisa Seldon overlooking the arena and the ring, scoffs and shakes his head as he disappears backstage.
Linzi Martin: I can’t believe it! We’re going to witness a third match between Corey Lazarus and Matthew Engel!
Mikey Massacre: Who said we are? It could happen anywhere, and if Laz doesn’t want to do it, it may never happen! It’s speculative! I hate being teased!
Suddenly the arena lights dim, and a single spotlight hit’s the Superdome’s roof with the Spyke Signal! The crowd begins to cheer wildly and the lights turn on and suddenly Spykeman! And Stutterfly are already in the ring and begin brawling with Lazarus and Thunderwolf!
DING DING DING
Corey Lazarus successfully dodges a few lefts and rights from Spykeman! Before grabbing him by the neck and throwing him into the corner turnbuckle. Spykeman sits up onto the top turnbuckle and flies off with a missile dropkick that catches Lazarus hard in the mouth. Meanwhile Thunderwolf has Stutterfly locked into a dragon sleeper hold, wearing her down as he brings her down to the canvas and applies continuous pressure. Stutterfly tries fighting her way out of it by elbowing Thunderwolf in the ribs but he doesn’t relent.
Mikey Massacre: Tag team matches in REBEL Pro are the best, precisely because we do away with those dumb rules in the rest of the wrestling world. It’s always a tornado tag match here!
Linzi Martin: Those superheroes look like they need some saving! Thunderwolf looking strong with that sleeper hold on the dumb girl one.
Lazarus wasn’t knocked to his feet and Spykeman! Is up, silly enough to attempt to strike at the best striker in AoWF history, Corey fucking Lazarus! Corey Lazarus is swift as he slides away from each strike from Spykeman!, reversing them and throwing Spykeman! Into the ropes. As Spykeman! Comes back Lazarus unleashes a heavy and swift barrage of strikes, landing stiff hits into Spykeman!’s neck, face, chest and stomach. The fans can’t even keep track, while meanwhile the referee checks on Stutterfly to see if she’s passed out. Lazarus lets up, showing some mercy as Spykeman! HIt’s the canvas dazed. Thunderwolf lifts Stutterfly to her feet and then suplexes her whilst still having her in the dragon sleeper hold, onto the back of her neck to the canvas. Spykeman! Knows what to do in a REBEL Pro match and slides out of the ring to regain his composure and look for weapons.
Mikey Massacre: Spykeman! With the smart strategy. He knows his team can’t out wrestle both legendary guys in Thunderwolf and Lazarus, so he’s going to take advantage of the relaxed rules here.
Linzi Martin: I’m starting to feel sorry for Stutterfly…
Stutterfly crawls away from them and has a chair handed to her by Spykeman! From the outside of the ring. She flips herself onto her back and puts the chair up to block a kick from Thunderwolf. She bashes the chair into Thunderwolf’s knees, sending him into the ropes and holding on in a bit of pain. Corey Lazarus waits for her to get to her feet, but doesn’t see Spykeman! Climbing onto the apron behind him with a big cinder block in his hands Spykeman! Lumbers up to the top rope and tries to balance himself as Stutterfly pretends to be in fear of Lazarus. Thunderwolf yells out as Spykeman! Jumps off the top rope, and Lazarus ducks and rolls out of the way of the cinder block.
Mikey Massacre: That’s where team work comes into play.
Linzi Martin: Ye- OH NO LOOK OUT!
Spykeman! Immediately spins himself around and throws the cinder block at Thunderwolfs head, cracking it to pieces and sending Thunderwolf out of the ring inbetween the ropes. Sadly for Thunderwolf, the middle rope here in REBEL Pro is now made out of a thick band of barbed wire and his legs, above the knee, get sliced and stuck to it as he hangs out over the apron upside down. Stutterfly gets to her feet and goes to hit Lazarus with the chair, but Lazarus dodges that shit like the Matrix son, grabs her from behind and puts her into a Full Nelson before suplexing her super girl ass to the canvas. Spykeman! Is busy trying to deal with Thunderwolf as he climbs to the top rope. Thunderwolf puts his hands against the apron and side of the ring, pushing himself up and leaving himself ready to take the awkward leg drop Spykeman! Hits from the top rope, forcefully slamming Twolf’s face against the side of the ring. But it does free him from his entanglement in the barbed wire, and Thunderwolf falls to the outside of the ring. Corey Lazarus meanwhile, covers Stutterfly in the ring!
1!
2!!
KICK OUT!
Stutterfly kicks out right after the two as Thunderwolf brings himself to his feet on the outside. Spykeman! Charges him but Thunderwolf grabs him and whips him shoulder/head first right into the steel steps, causing a loud thud! Corey Lazarus grapples with Stutterfly and snap suplexes her right over the steel chair. Thunderwolf grabs the steel steps and rips off the top half, lifting it up and dropping it on Spykeman!’s head. Ouch. Thunderwolf rolls back into the ring and grabs Stutterfly. He puts her into a cobra clutch hold. Lazarus comes up, grabs her legs up onto one shoulder, and they twist so Corey drops her with a Cobra Clutch Bulldog and Wolf forces her knees into the canvas.
Mikey Massacre: That was BRUTAL!
Linzi Martin: But Spykeman! Is coming to on the outside!
Lazarus covers Stutterfly now.
1!
Thunderwolf sees Spykeman! And tries to lunge at the ropes.
2!!
Spykeman springboards himself off the top rope.
THREE- SPYKEMAN WITH A SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT ONTO LAZARUS BREAKS THE COUNT! YEAAAAAAAH BOY!!!!!!!!
Spykeman is to his feet, rolls away and grabs that steel chair. He jumps up, Corey Lazarus comes at him. Spykeman! Fakes a swing, Lazarus dodges it but Spykeman! Continues and spins 180 degrees and cracks Lazarus in the back of the head with all his strength. Lazarus falls forward, face first into the middle ropes. Did we mention those middle RPW ropes are barbed fucking wire? Yeah, ouch. Thunderwolf rushes at Spykeman who cracks him in the ribs with the steel chair, then cracks him gain over the head. Stutterfly is up and runs at Thunderwolf from behind, jumping and grabbing his face as Spykeman! Holds the chair out. She hit’s a face buster on Thunderwolf, onto the chair and ends up driving both into the canvas HARD. Stutterfly covers!
1!
2!!
KICK OUT!
Mikey Massacre: Thunderwolf won’t go down that easy.
Linzi Martin: It sucks he refused to sign with REBEL Pro! He’d make a great competitor here.
Mikey Massacre: He didn’t refuse. He just said he can’t. There’s a difference, Linzi.
Stutterfly begins stomping down all over Thunderwolfs chest, neck and face as Spykeman! Bashes his legs and knees repeatedly with the steel chair. Lazarus gets to his feet and and scoops Spykeman! Away with a firemans carry slam to the canvas. Stutterfly rolls away from Thunderwolf as everyone seems to catch their breath. Thunderwolf is in some hurt, but he nods at Lazarus as he gets to his feet. Stutterfly goes for a leaping clothesline on Corey as Corey backs himself into the ropes, on purpose, and catches Stutterfly, they both get flipped over the top rope and to the outside.
Mikey Massacre: While Spykeman! And Stutterfly seem to be putting up a good fight, no one can deny that the team of Lazarus and Thunderwolf are putting on a clinic.
Linzi Martin: Yeah, you can say that again.
Mikey Massacre: While Spykeman! And Stutterfly seem to be putting up a good fight, no one can deny that the team of Lazarus and Thunderwolf are putting on a clinic.
Linzi Martin: Yeah, you can say that again.
Thunderwolf holds his knee, troubled. Or is he feigning severe pain? Spykeman! Lifts Thunderwolf up by the neck, and that’s when Thunderwolf goes all Wolf’s Bane on Spykeman!, spitting a blue mist into Spykeman!’s eyes! Lazarus throws Stutterfly right over the barricade and into a group of fans who begin snapping photos of her. Lazarus slides in with Spykeman! Dazed and confused, COMBO #5!!! It’s not over as Thunderwolf grabs onto Spykeman! And hit’s the Vapor Transmission RIGHT ONTO THAT STEEL CHAIR!
Mikey Massacre: Whoa! What a 720 DDT!
Thunderwolf covers, as Stutterfly gets towards the ring apron on the outside.
1!
Stutterfly tries to get into the ring but Lazarus kicks her in the face, sending her tumbling back to the outside.
2!!
Linzi Martin: Oh man.
3!!!
DING DING DING
Lazarus and Thunderwolf have their arms raised by the referee.
Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match, Corey Lazarus and Thunderwolf!
Mikey Massacre: That was a hell of a victory, folks.
Linzi Martin: Those guys rock! They should totally sign to REBEL Pro!
Mikey Massacre: For once, we agree Linzi.
*****A Bullet With Your Name On It(REBEL Pro Edition!)*****
Jeremy Gold: Oh, shit… oh, shit shit shit shit shit… OH SHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT…
We open up on Jeremy Gold, sitting at his desk in the Manager’s Office. His face is buried in his palms, and he continues to curse himself. There is a sound heard off-camera, which brings Jeremy to stir as the door is opened.
Jeremy Gold: DON’T BOTHER M…
In walks Simon Kalis, who appears unaware of the situation. He steps in, looking skeptically at Gold.
Simon Kalis: Seriously, Jeremy. Settle down. We’re doing well and there’s n…
Simon suddenly trips, hitting the floor. He looks up… and a bullet whizzes past his face. He looks at Gold, who is mortified.
Simon Kalis: WHAT THE FUCK, JEREMY?!
Jeremy Gold: I swear to god, Simon… I didn’t…
Simon stands, starting towards Gold.
Simon Kalis: You’d better have a DAMN good explana…
Again, Simon seems to trip. He catches himself this time, looking at the floor. A small wire is extended across the floor, right about ankle level. Simon looks at Gold, confused.
Simon Kalis: What the f…
Suddenly, bullets rain down from the ceiling, filling the room. Simon looks to Jeremy for an explanation, and finds him cowering below the desk. Simon looks up, finding a large empty space where the vent door should be. He looks around himself, finding thousands of bullets surrounding him. He walks over, dragging Jeremy out from beneath the desk.
Simon Kalis: WHERE. THE FUCK. IS HE?!
Jeremy cowers, shaking his head. A sound is heard behind Kalis, and Simon turns. A large white cloth lays out over the bullets, and Kalis moves to read the writing on the banner.
“THOUGHT YOU’D LIKE THESE BACK. OH, AND BRIAN SAYS HI.”
Kalis’ eyes grow wide with rage, as he sees a picture of Lucious and Brian, both waving. He turns to Jeremy, looking for answers- but Gold has disappeared. Kalis works his way through the bullets, heading out to the hallway and towards the parking lot.
*****The Brand*****
Simon seems to be searching for something in his fancy smancy car, the radio blasting out some hip hop rap music. The engine dies and the music quits as the door is opened and Simon Kalis steps out, sliding his 9mm Beretta into his waistline. Kalis places the keys in his front pocket as he continues the song with his own voice and throwing up gang signs with his hands.
Simon Kalis: If you blood, throw it up! If you blood, throw it up! If you blood, throw it up!
Reaching the door, he stops suddenly, his instincts of years of training kicking in, but just a bit too late. Simon spins around, causing the lead pipe to glance off the side of his head. Simon kicks out but Bubba J smashes his foot down on the side of Simon’s knee before slamming the pipe into the back of his skull. Simon goes down, but fights back up through a strong will and determination. J nails hiim right in the heart with the taser that they’ve used since Rebel Pro’s Birthday Bash and Simon goes down heavily.
Bubba J: “Now Simon, we build this thing up right.”
Simon can only look up to Bubba J, unable to fight back as J pulls out a long rope and two sets of handcuffs. Bubba J holds them up in front of Simon.
Bubba: “I’d say that I really hate to do this to you on such a big show, but I’d be fucking lying.”
J nails him in the face for good measure, Simon’s eyes rolling up into the back of his head. J looks around, spotting no one, he cuffs Simon’s feet and hands around a light pole, using the rope to pull them as tight as he can.
J: Now Simon, you had to know that I wouldn’t let this die down and go away, I’m not that kinda loving guy.”
He spits on Simon’s face before ripping his shirt down, the buttons flying. J digs in his bag pulling out a cow brand, with two Rs back to back. Placing his hand back into his bag, he pulls out a butane torch and turns the knob, releasing the gas; he also pulls a lighter from his right front pocket and lights the flame. After several moments, the brand is red hot and Bubba J turns the torch off, bringing the brand up to Simon’s chest, right over his heart. Bubba J speaks in the voice of Hannibal, from the original A-team television series.
Bubba: “Now, this is gonna sting a little bit.”
J laughs as he shoves the red hot branding iron right over Simon’s heart, causing the flesh to seer, its sizzling, a tiny stream of smoke is rising up, and Simon wakes up and is screaming bloody murder(its painful as hell). J laughs as he punches Simon in the face one more time before removing the branding iron. He gently slaps Simon’s sweaty face, that stares up at him in hatred.
Bubba: “Thanks for being such a sweatheart.”
J pours a bottle of water over the iron, cooling it off before replacing it in the bag along with all of his other utensiles of branding. He turns back to Simon, pulling out a pack of smokes and placing two in his mouth, he lights them up. Bubba J places one in Simon’s mouth.
Bubba: “Until someone finds ya, don’t drop it though, cause you can’t pick it up.”
He laughs before walking away into the arena with his bag and smoke curling up from the tip of his cigarette. Simon looks after him with hatred and extreme loathing. We fade to the office of General Manager Jeremy Gold, who’s surrounded by security and trying not to burst into tears.
Jeremy Gold: This night is so fucked.
*****Barbed Wire Cage for the Number One Contendership to Tag Titles*****
*****Hardcore Entertainment versus Gabe Shelley & Alexia Fender*****
JENNY JERSEY: The following match is set for one fall, with no time limit, and is contested inside of a barbed wire steel cage for the #1 Contendership to the Rebel Pro World Tag Team Championship!
“Reign of Terror” hits up in the speakers as the crowd gives another mixed reaction to the duo walking from the back, some throw trash but some cheer for the two, while the rest look like they are trying to decide. Bubba J and Vincent Black walk out and stare up at the barbed wire steel chage that surrounds the entire ringside area and both… smile?
JENNY JERSEY: At a total combined weight of five hundred and ninety-one pounds, the team of Bubba J and Vincent Black… HARDCORE ENTERTAINMENT!
Bubba J holds the door open and runs his fingers along the barbed wire lovingly as Vincent does the same thing and both men enter the cage and into the ring.
“Better than Revenge(Alexia Fender version)” by Taylor Swift hits up in the speakers and the crowd go wild for her as she steps to the top of the entrance ramp and waits. Inside the ring Black and J are begging for her to come on and get in the ring.
“In Fate’s Hands” by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus hits up and the crowd doesn’t die down at all as Gabe Shelley walks from the back, stepping up beside his tag team partner.
JENNY JERSEY: At a total combined weight of three hundred and seventy pounds… the team of ALEXIA FENDER AND GABE SHELLEY!
Fender and Shelley make their way to the door, into the cage, and up into the ring, neither taking their eyes off their opponents.
DING DING
All four members in this match stand in the ring, each staring at the other, Bubba J’s eyes wondering down to Alexia’s breasts and a bit lower, but at least he’s still trying to intimidate someone. The referee looks at both teams and decides that he’d better get out of the way. All four come together in the center of the ring, Black nails Fender with a big boot to the face, but she ducks under clipping him in the side of the right knee with a side stomp and he is on one knee. J comes together with Shelley who nails him with right after right hand backing him into the ropes and unceremonously dumping him overboard and to the floor below. Shelley steps through the ropes and down to where Bubba J is shoving himself up. Gabe bends down, but a beer bottle is brought right up into his face and he stumbles back as J presses his advantage, along with the sharp end of the bottle, into Gabe’s body outside the ring. Meanwhile inside the ring Black has Alexia in the corner and is pounding her with continuous high knees into her sternum, taking the breath out of her and hopefully the fight as well. Black yanks her out of the corner, by the hair on her head, before bringing her to position for the New Hope early in the match. Gabe nails him in the midsection with a kendo stick and Alexia falls off, bringing Black down with a smooth transitioning DDT onto a steel chair that Gabe has set there.
MIKEY MASSACRE: What a smooth transition there and counter.
LINZI MARTIN: She’s a woman, do you honestly expect anything different?
Alexia makes the first cover of the match.
One!
Two!
J comes off the ropes with a boot right to the side of Alexia’s face before spinning and ducking under a clothesline from Gabe. J nails him in the kidneys with a right fist that doubles him over before bouncing his foot right off the side of Gabe’s head.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Bubba J in there with the save, close call though.
LINZI MARTIN: Do you see all the blood on Bubba’s face? What happened?
MIKEY MASSACRE: I think a fan handed Gabe a set of thumbtack covered brass knuckles through the cage, or they may have been broken glass covered, I’m not sure.
J bends down, pulling Gabe up to his feet, but Gabe nails J right in the balls with a double fist that doubles J over and he appears to be turning a bit green. Gabe with a neckbreaker takes full advantage and mounts Bubba J with right and left punches to the face and temple. Black comes off the ropes, but Alexia is there to stop him, but Black leap frogs her nailing Gabe in the side with a field goal kick that would have been good from 60 yards away.
LINZI MARTIN: And its… leaning to the right… to the right… its good!
MIKEY MASSACRE: uncalled for.
LINZI MARTIN: And the Cowboys win!
MIKEY MASSACRE: Probably their only game all year.
Gabe rolls over and Black is on top of him with stomps and kicks to the ribs before concentrating on his bad knee. Black grabs the ankle, stomping down on the side of Gabe’s knee, making the former BWF World Champion sweat from the pain Black is putting him through. Bubba J rolls up to his knees then to his feet, but only to be tackled from behind by Alexia and she quickly locks on a crossface.
MIKEY MASSACRE: And Bubba J is sacked for a 10 yard loss.
LINZI MARTIN: This is wrestling Massacre, not the NFL.
Alexia releases the hold pulling J up to his feet, but J swings a haymaker, Alexia ducking underneath nailing him with a series of five kicks to the ribs and kidneys that send him stumbling back into the corner. Alexia runs at J, leaping to the middle rope, to the top rope, and catching him with a kick to the head before springing around and bringing him to center ring with a hurricanrana!
MIKEY MASSACRE: My gawd at her speed and agility!
LINZI MARTINIf only guys could last as long as her.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Hu… what?
Black lifts his foot to stomp down for who knows how many times, Alexia rolls over, springing up with a knee into Black’s side that sends him through the ropes to the outside. Gabe pulls himself up to his feet as Alexia launches herself over the top rope with a suicide dive onto Black that catches him around the head, pulling him down into a neckbreaker on the concrete floor. J gets up to his feet, blood pouring down his face as he turns around right into the steel chair shot to J’s face that rocks him backwards in a stumbling walk. Gabe with a second shot, and a third finally has Bubba J in the corner.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Bubba J has a second match tonight, if he’s able to compete in it.
LINZI MARTIN: Oh, he’ll be there cause I promised him a date if he wins.
Gabe swings the chair again, but drops it right before hitting Bubba J with it, instead booting him in the gut and lifting him up onto the top rope. Gabe follows him up after tossing the chair about a third of the way across the ring and places Bubba J inposition for a powerbomb onto the chair. On the outside of the ring Alexia nails Black repeatedly in the face with knees and a sole kick right to his mouth that rocks the big man backwards on his knees. But when he looks back, there is a smile on his face as he wipes the blood from his lips, Alexia’s back is to him from the momentum of the kick. Black stands up, running and delivering a bulldog to Alexia that has her on the concrete floor. Black turns to look at Bubba J who is taking the chair shots from Gabe right now. Black whips Alexia into the ring apron before catching her rebound and whipping her into the barbed wire covered cage wall. Alexia arches her back upon impact and stumbles forward right into a high angle spinebuster from Black that causes Alexia to close her eyes in pain.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Gabe with the Jersey Bomb!
LINZI MARTIN: Looks like Bubba J won’t be getting that date after all.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Gabe with the cover.
One!
Two!
Black rips Gabe off of Bubba J nailing him with right after right, and mixing in a few left hooks for good measure.
LINZI MARTIN: Vincent is looking like a seven foot version of Rocky Balboa from the best film, the fourth one.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Nah, the first one was the best.
LINZI MARTIN: Nah, the third and second were better than the first one.
Gabe is stumbling back from the fists pounding into his face, his head rocking back with each and every blow that nails him. Bubba J starts to get up to his feet, but falls right back down, shaking his head as he finally gets to one knee. Gabe begins to fight back in the corner, showing the reserve and determination that has made him a champion in times past. Gabe with a right hook, then a left faint, before nailing Black in the side with another right hook. Black lifts a knee in Gabe’s guard, rocking him back into the corner nearly decapitating him with a clothesline.
BUBBA J: Watch out!
Black spins out of the way as J comes flying in with the dented steel chair knocking Gabe out of the ring and to the outside. J climbs up top, holding onto the now even bloodier chair but Black grabs his arm.
VINCENT: You know about your high flying ability.
J nods before shoving Black back, who smiles as J leaps off, bringing the chair down across Gabe’s face, knocking him into the cage.
MIKEY MASSACRE: That is one of the few, if not the first times Bubba J has completed a high risk move successfully.
J stalks over to Gabe, both men bleeding and J grinning as he goes in for the kill. J brings the chair up, but Gabe, somehow, reaches forward grabbing J’s pants and pulls him into the cage. J’s face smacks hard on a support beam, you guessed it, covered in barbed wire before falling backwards. Black spins around, right into a kendo stick shot from Alexia, but he ducks th second shot, but is unable to avoid a springboard fist to the face. Black falls backwards, using the momentum of the ropes to bounce back and nail Alexia with a forearm shot to the face sending her down. Black climbs to the top turnbuckle, jumps, flaps his arms like a bird, and lands a leg drop onto Alexia’s throat and stays for the cover.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Black mocking Gabe there with that specific type of a leg drop.
LINZI MARTIN: Black going for the cover.
One!
Two!
Thr
Shoulder up, Alexia got her shoulder up and this match continues. Black pulls her up to her feet before whipping her into the ropes, catching her with a big boot right to the face that spins her around like a top while she is still on her feet. Alexia seems to be out on her feet and Black is going to press his advantage. Shove into the corner and Black places a boot on her throat, completely legal here in Rebel Pro is this foot choke. However, it is also very legal for Gabe Shelley to nail Vincent in the back with a series of quick staples from a staple gun, which he does without hesitation. Gabe is pouring blood, and now Black has a few trickles from the punctures on his back.
LINZI MARTIN: Is Bubba J even moving?
MIKEY MASSACRE: He is still alive, but I’m not sure about the shape he’ll be in for the World Title match.
Gabe spins the big man around, boot to the gut and he struggles… he lifts… Alexia helps him and they have Black on Gabe’s shoulders… they drop him with a sit out powerbomb!
MIKEY MASSACRE: Gabe mocks right back with his version of the New Hope!
Alexia comes over for a roundhouse kick, but Bubba J nails her in the face with the bloody broken glass covered brass knuckles and knocks her out cold. J sprints, as much as he can anyways, into the ring as Gabe pins Black.
One!
Two!
Boot right to Gabe’s head, who rolls up to his feet and is ready for a fight. Gabe swings, but J nails him in the midsection with a boot and completes it with a Trailer Park Trash for the cover.
One!
Two!
Three!
DING DING DING
JENNY JERSEY: Winners of the match and NEEEEEW Rebel Pro #1 Contenders to the Tag Team Championship… the team of Vincent Black and Bubba J…. Hardcore Entertainment!
J smiles through his blood as he looks directly into the camera, flipping it the bird, and mouthing… “Fuck You Simon.”
*****Who Let HIM In?!*****
The camera comes up, Kalis in conference with an array of security, rubbing his chest and seething as the brand Bubba J left earlier still burns. He’s morbidly pissed, and it shows with every guard he throws into the wall with his hands wrapped around their neck.
Simon Kalis: Who the HELL let him in here? I swear to god, I’ll kill him, then I’ll kill whoever let him in… And does NO ONE watch the god damn parking lot? Do you see what that fucking redneck did to me?!
Guard: Sir, he just blasted through… we couldn’t stop him…
Simon Kalis: COULDN’T?! YOU COULDN’T STOP HIM?!
Guard 2: Sir, we thought he’d given up. He mounted his bike and blasted right through the door. We lost him once he got far up enough.
Simon looks on in rage at his security force, placing his hand on his head. He turns away, taking a deep breath, then turns back.
Simon Kalis: Have we located ANY sign of him?
Guard 3: We found his ducati. It was sitting right outside…
The guard pauses, Simon raising an eyebrow. He leans in, questioning.
Simon Kalis: Where?
Guard 4: Outside Lisa Seldon’s room, sir.
Kalis is taken aback, and he looks at the group. He shakes his head in disbelief, pondering.
Gurad 5: Sir, should we question Ms. Seldon…
Simon Kalis: No. I’ll go see Lisa. I want four of you at the entrance door. Two at the ducati. The rest of you, roaming. You are on full alert, is that understood? Apprehend Lucious and bring him to me. By any means necessary.
Guards: YES SIR!
Simon Kalis: For now, I’ve got some business to attend to at ringside…
The guards disperse, Kalis confused. He starts towards ringside as Masakazu meets up with him in the hall, wondering what the hell is going on.
*****The Capo Regime*****
The sounds of sirens begin wailing across the speakers, mixed with the sound of helicopters flying over ahead with sporadic gunfire in the background until there’s a massive explosion of fireworks at the entrance ramp.
Jenny Jersey: Introducing!
“Indestructible(The Order of Chaos Worldwide Theme Song)” by Disturbed hits and the crowd jumps to their feet as Simon Kalis and Masakazu step out with Jeremy Gold cowering behind them.
Jenny Jersey: Accompanied to the ring by the REBEL Pro General Manager! They are Masakazu! Simon Kalis! THE ORDER OF CHAOS!
The camera pans the crowd, showing many fans waving the burning skull emblem of The Order of Chaos. Jeremy Gold wipes the tears from his eyes before running backstage as Simon and Masakazu make their way to the ring, their stolen PWA Tag Team titles on their shoulders. Simon’s shirt is still ripped and we can see that he’s got a medical gauze wrapped where he was branded earlier tonight.
Linzi Martin: I can’t believe Bubba had the nerve to brand Simon like he was cattle! It’s kind of racist, actually.
Mikey Massacre: He got what he deserved.
Linzi Martin: What?! Why?!
Mikey Massacre: Why? I knew this was coming, Linzi. I knew it the moment Larry sold almost half of REBEL Pro to Simon Kalis. This was going to be funded by, in support of, their damned Order and be one massive scheme.
Linzi Martin: Yeah, so?! The PWA reached new heights of success under Simons regime! The only scheme here is that Simon wants REBEL Pro to become the crown jewel of the AoWF!
Mikey Massacre: Regime? You mean reign of terror.
Linzi Martin: Don’t forget who pays your cheque.
Mikey Massacre: Trust me, I haven’t.
Kalis and Masa enter the ring and stomp their feet, slap their chests and salute the sold out crowd here in New Orleans. The crowd cheers and screams for sheer, creepy, joy. They all salute back and begin chanting. Simon grabs a microphone and motions the crowd to quiet down as the music dies out.
Simon Kalis: It’s so good… For REBEL Pro… To FINALLY COME TO NEW ORLEANS!
The crowd cheers and go nuts, cause he mentioned their city! Yay!
Simon Kalis: This National Tour began with a vision. To expand REBEL Pros sphere of influence from the South across this entire great nation. To bring the fierciest brand of wrestling to the homes of millions of people across the nation, and even the world itself! And sure. Some people don’t like it. People fear change, after all. And just because REBEL Pro legends like Justin Case and Chad Kurtis are dying stars in a growing universe, I get the flak for it.
The crowd has a mixed reaction to that comment.
Simon Kalis: But they key to humanity is our ability to adapt. And it’s not my fault no one can adapt to a bunch of women coming into REBEL Pro and running ape shit all over the boys. For all these macho hardcore types like Bubba J, they’re the ones who look like they belong in the kitchen making me a god damn sandwich. Not Violet. Not Lisa. And definitely not Emily Corlen, cause she’d eat the fucking sandwich.
Simon and Masa laugh, as do the crowd.
Simon Kalis: But we’re not here for that. We’re here to spend some of the hundreds of millions of dollars we’ve got sitting in our Order of Chaos war chest. And truth be told, I think you’ve all done a wonderful job. From Jaice Wilds to Violet Harper, from Justin Case to Emily Corlen. Even you, Bobby Lee. So with that note, I’d like to give you guys a present. As of today, everyone on the REBEL Pro roster has been mailed a bonus cheque for $50,000!
The crowd erupts into cheers and we’re sure everyone backstage is surprised their salary just got tripled.
Linzi Martin: See! They’re not so bad!
Mikey Massacre: Bribery, nothing more Linzi.
Simon Kalis: That’s not all! See I noticed what’s gone on the last two weeks or so. Legions Church of Misery got destroyed…
The crowd cheers this news, but Simon merely winks into the camera.
Simon Kalis: And of course, Hardcore Drinking was also destroyed…
The crowd boos this news, but Simon merely smiles into the camera.
Simon Kalis: And it is with a humble heart, that I come out here to tell all of you that I’ve signed a big fat cheque to have it rebuilt.
The crowd cheers extremely loud.
Mikey Massacre: Wait have what rebuilt? Which one?
Kalis nods in Massacres direction, almost as if he heard him.
Simon Kalis: By it, I mean The Church of Misery and ONLY the Church of Misery! Better than EVER!
The crowd doesn’t seem too pleased with this, as they boo loudly.
Simon Kalis: What? You think I’m going to fucking help Bubba J and Vincent Black? These two scum of the EARTH?! Especially after Bubba thinks that branding me is somehow productive to his continued existence on this planet? No, far from it. If anyone has been paying attention, they’ll have noticed Legion repeatedly mention that he was sent here. He was sent to REBEL Pro.
Masakazu tries to hide his smile as he looks around at the crowd, but he’s doing a horrible job of it.
Simon Kalis: Well if you were paying attention you’d also know the same week that I took the helm of REBEL Pro from Larry Gordon? Was the same week Legion and his Church arrived in REBEL Pro. Truth be told? The man who sent Legion here? Was me.
The crowd gasps all at once, in shock.
Mikey Massacre: Dear god…
Linzi Martin: Oh Simon knows all the weirdest people doesn’t he?
Simon Kalis: Legion, and the Church of Misery will cleanse REBEL Pro with their fire. This is why I hereby declare the Church of Misery… The OFFICIAL religion of REBEL Pro. I hereby give Legion all rights, all freedom to go forth and burn and destroy each and every single one of you fucking sheep with no consequence to him or his Church whatsoever.
The crowd is almost silent, aside from some booing. They’re all in complete shock!
Linzi Martin: Whoa!
Mikey Massacre: …
Simon Kalis: It starts with the Extreme Elite! It started with Hostile?
Kalis seems to say it, as if asking a question as he smirks.
Simon Kalis: Soon Bubba J, Vincent Black. You’ll join Hostile in the depths of oblivion itself you little cockroaches. As of this moment, REBEL Pro will become a hell on earth. You missed the blood?! You missed the hardcore fucking violence?! Well I’ll show you all what the Kalis era of REBEL Pro will be come Aggression. So next week I give you my revenge! Justin Case, you want to call conspiracy like you’re Alex Jones or some shit? Fine! You get a handicap elimination match next week! It’ll be special.
Simon smirks, the crowd goes nuts.
Simon Kalis: And Bubba J wants to fuck around? Well you can face Vincent Black next week in a 2/3 falls match!
Mikey Massacre: Jesus, he’s going off.
Simon Kalis: That’s not it! If you lose Bubba, you have to kiss my bare butt naked ass cheeks at Aggression.
The crowd laughs, some cheer, some boo.
Linzi Martin: That would be strangely hot!
Simon Kalis: And if Vincent Black loses? Well the ownership of, and the deed to the land of Hardcore Drinking becomes mine. Simple as that.
Mikey Massacre: It’s official ladies and gentlemen. Simon is nuts.
Masakazu high fives his dad, and they both laugh.
Simon Kalis: That’s not all, folks! Next week? Legion faces Emily Corlen in what I’ve dubbed the FUCK YOU SPECIAL!
Kalis flips the bird to the camera.
Simon Kalis: I will referee this match. Legion need only pin Emily for two count to win. If Emily loses? She is stripped of her half of the REBEL Pro Tag Team titles and FIRED!
Linzi Martin: WHOA!
The whole crowd gasps, such shocking news!
Simon Kalis: If Legion wins? He’s the automatic number one contender to the REBEL Pro World Championship. That is of course, unless he wins the title tonight.
Mikey Massacre: This is madness.
Linzi Martin: Nope, like you once told me Mikey. This isn’t madness! This… Is…. REBEL Pro!
Simon Kalis: Take that to the bank, fuckers.
Kalis rolls his eyes, as Masakazu punches him in the arm for being so god damn awful as “Indestructible” hits again.
Linzi Martin: Wait, wait. What does this all mean? How can a wrestling company have an official religion?
Mikey Massacre: He wants to turn REBEL Pro into hell on earth? What the hell is this moron doing??? Look at all these matches he’s booked…
Simon and Masakazu both light cigarettes as they make their way up the entrance ramp, saluting the twin statues of Lisa Seldon as they laugh and head backstage.
*****Tables, Ladders & Chairs for the RPW Aggression Championship*****
*****Violet Harper© versus Jaice Wilds versus Legion versus Justin Case*****
With all four competitors in the ring, the crowd all rise to their feet. There are tables lined up, surrounding the ring on their sides against the barricade with ladders leaned up against those. A few ladders are already standing outside the ring, with one in the middle of the ring right beneath the REBEL Pro Aggression Championship. There are tables already set up, that surround the ring and chairs everywhere. Legion cracks his neck, Jaice moves and sways back and forth as he looks up at the title. Case smirks, pointing to himself and Violet looks all around.
Mikey Massacre: Now, she gets to prove if she deserves that title. Winning by default doesn’t cut it in my books. Now she faces looming odds.
Linzi Martin: You just don’t like the fact all of the REBEL Pro titles are held by women.
Mikey Massacre: Corlen is a woman?
DING DING DING
Everyone rushes for the ladder in the middle of the ring, except Justin Case who fakes a rush and then flips himself over the top rope and to the outside of the ring. Violet quickly stops, putting her hands up against the ladder and pushing herself away before she gets crushed by Legion. Jaice Wilds immediately hops up onto the ladder and begins climbing his little Brazilian self to the top. Legion grabs the ladder and begins shaking it and rocking it back and forth but Jaice manages to hold on. Violet stands back to watch, when she notices Justin Case is back. Case is climbing up a super tall ladder on the outside that puts him at even stance with the belt, with a big leap required to get to it. Case carefully balances himself on top of the ladder as Jaice hangs onto the ladder he’s on. Case flies off, into the ring, a missile fucking dropkick, right into the ladder, sending Jaice flying off outside of the ring on the opposite side and through a table! The crowd goes nuts, but Case falls into the ring with a big drop and lands right onto Legion who breaks his fall.
Linzi Martin: Did everyone just get destroyed within the first two minutes?
Mikey Massacre: And this match has only JUST begun, Linzi!
Jaice holds his head as he lays in the wreckage of that table, Legion pushes Justin Case off of him as Violet pushes the ladder in the ring back up and begins climbing as fast as she can. Legion sees this and quickly gets to his feet. Violet looks down and knows she can’t make it to the belt in time, before Legion sends her off like Jaice, so instead she jumps off near the top and falls with an elbow. Legion steps away and she lands right on Justin Case, the back of Case’s neck as he attempts to get to his feet. Case cringes, feeling it right into his spine. Legion then grabs Violet Harper from the back of her neck and hair and rips her to her feet. He wraps his big prophetic hand around her throat and lifts her with ease high into the air before throwing her out of the ring. Violet hit’s the apron and rolls off to the outside. Jaice is coming to on the outside and Case lifts himself up by the ropes.
Mikey Massacre: No surprise that Legion is the one standing.
Linzi Martin: Well d’uh he’s powered by evil or something, I think.
Legion grabs Justin Case by the legs and flips him over, but Case swiftly proceeds to kick Legion right in the face from the canvas. Jaice gets onto the apron and throws a chair into the ring. Case quickly rolls and grabs the chair, using it like a shield to protect himself from the heavy boots Legion is bringing down onto him. Violet slaps the apron, shaking her head as she watches all of this unfold. She grabs a chair herself and slides into the ring. Jaice gets onto the apron and Legion just punches him right back off of it, sending Jaice to the outside again. This gives Case and Violet time to get up on their feet, and both swing their chairs at Legion’s masked face. There’s a huge clink as the chairs crunch Legions face and smash each other at the same time. Legion is still standing though, only stumbling a bit. Case and Harper smash their chairs against his face again but again Legion is only stumbling. Wilds slides back into the ring with his next chair in hand and joins the fray, and all three smash their chairs at Legions head and Legion finally stumbles towards the ropes. Wilds springboards himself off the top rope, spins and hit’s a heel kick that sends Legion over the top rope. Harper immediately spins herself and tries to hit Case with her chair, but Case ducks, hit’s a super kick then implant DDTs Violet Harper onto his downed chair.
Mikey Massacre: Everyone is getting a piece of everyone here.
Linzi Martin: This night is full of cluster matches.
Legion is on the outside and Wilds stands atop the turnbuckles and flies off, landing on Legion and giving him a face buster right into a steel chair that’s laying on the outside of the ring. Case with a leg drop off the middle turnbuckle onto Violet as she gets up sends her face first right back into that steel chair, and she begins bleeding now.
Linzi Martin: Good thing this isn’t a first blood match.
Mikey Massacre: If you’re not bleeding, it isn’t REBEL Pro.
Wilds begins wailing on Legion like a mad man trying to keep him down, using a steel chair until it’s nearly obliterated. Violet gets to her feet in the ring groggily, and Case grabs her and puts her into an abdominal stretch of all things. She writhes in pain as he continues to apply stronger and stronger pressure.
Mikey Massacre: Look we came for a fight and a wrestling match broke out.
Linzi Martin: In a wrestling promotion, who knew it’d be possible?
Mikey Massacre: I can sense the sarcasm, Linzi.
Linzi Martin: I have my moments.
Violet tries to worm and squeeze her way out to no luck, instead Case just continues to apply pressure while keeping an eye on Legion and Jaice on the outside of the ring. Finally Case lets go of Violet, spins her around and hits Just 2 Talented on Violet Harper! Harper rolls out of the ring, completely out of it. Legion feigns a knock out, Jaice breathing heavily as he drops the utterly dented chair. Jaice decides to begin stacking tables, because it’s not like there’s anything else to do right? Jaice stacks one table on top of another and then hoists a folded table up with him onto the ring apron as he gingerly keeps his balance, unfolding that third table and creating a three-high stacked table column. It’s during all of this that Justin Case is climbing the ladder in the ring towards the title. Jaice runs around to the opposite side of the ring, hopping over a still dazed Violet Harper and begins climbing that really big ladder Case used earlier. Both men reach their apex at the same time, Jaice is a fast little guy as it were. Case grabs onto the title, but it’s at this point Legion is back into the ring and Legion rips the ladder out from under Justin Case’s legs. Case hangs onto the rope and the title, trying to unclasp it with one hand while he hangs on with his other. Legion lifts the ladder he has up with both arms, and begins swinging it like one giant fucking baseball bat at Case.
Mikey Massacre: I can’t say I’ve ever seen that done.
Linzi Martin: That’s just freakish.
It’s at this precise, horrible and awful moment, that Case sees Jaice Wilds leap across the big gap between them, his legs coming towards his face. Case tries to just fall and rip the title away but Jaice slides his legs right over Case’s shoulders mid air, and swings him like a rag doll with a super hurricanrana that sends Case right through THREE god damn tables that Jaice had stacked. As Jaice falls however, Legion puts out the ladder and this time Jaice breaks his fall on the ladder. Violet Harper has recovered on the outside and she grabs a chair, which she finishes wrapping in barbed wire and slides back into the ring. Legion tilts his head, staring at her as if she was a piece of trash in his eyes. She goes to swing the barbed wire chair at his head, but instead changes direction midswing and hits him flat across the stomach and then another quick swing into Legions legs. She throws the chair aside and begins hitting him with lefts and rights, the crowd going nuts at the balls on this chick. Legion takes a step back but then grabs her head and head butts her into oblivion. And by oblivion, we mean canvas.
Mikey Massacre: We may’ve been questioning her worth as Champion heading into this match, but there’s no doubt Violet has serious gall to go at Legion toe to toe like that.
Linzi Martin: I wasn’t doubting her worth. She’s an awesome chika! She has never lost to another REBEL Pro wrestler! Only that asshole Vicious!
Mikey Massacre: Yeah but, let’s not forget that in doing so she let the whole REBEL Pro fan base down by failing to capture the AoWF Television title.
Violet Harper picks up the chair and throws it to Legion. Legion catches it and then Violet hits him with a bicycle kick, into the chair, which goes into his masked face. Sadly, Legion does not go down and now has a barbed wire steel chair in his hand. Violet’s eyes widen, she quickly ducks the chair shot from Legion using her speed to advantage. Another chair shot, Legion misses. Justin Case at this point is getting into the ring as is Jaice Wilds, both men now bleeding themselves. As Wilds gets up, Violet shoves him in front of herself and Legions barbed wire chair dents with Jaice Wild’s facial impression. Jaice hit’s the canvas again, dazed. Case has splinters all in his body and leans in a corner pulling them out, tiny little spots where he’s bleeding all over his body. Jaice rolls out of the ring, bruised from landing on the ladder and now bleeding from his face.
Mikey Massacre: I don’t see how any of them is going to win this at this point.
Linzi Martin: No they’ll all be dead before that.
?
Violet jumps out towards Legion in magnificent fashion, taking him down face first with Purple Haze into the ladder! Legion rolls off it, dazed for once! Violet Harper quickly grabs the ladder and sets it up. Jaice Wilds is on the outside of the ring moving more tables into place and this time stacking them with chairs ready to be sat on, on top of this table. Justin Case goes to the same ladder and begins climbing the opposite side of it. Both he and Violet reach the top at the same time and they begin slugging it out, back and forth head shots with stiff rights as they clamour to grab the Aggression Championship. Legion is getting to his feet just as Jaice Wilds hops onto the ring apron, climbs to the top and comes off with a super kick neck breaker onto Legion taking him down! Violet jumps to grab the Aggression title, but Case jumps to grab her and has her locked belly-to-belly with him as they both come falling off. Case converts their belly-to-belly position in a suplex and they go out of the ring, through the chairs and the table Jaice had set up on the outside!!!
Linzi Martin: OH SHIT! That was right here in front of us, folks!
Mikey Massacre: That’s bound to leave a few marks.
Jaice sets the ladder up now, getting his big chance to seize the moment. He hurriedly climbs up the ladder but Legion is back up and grabs it once again. Legion lifts the ladder up and throws it towards the ropes, taking Jaice Wilds with it as Jaice goes flying into the announcers table, breaking right through it with television sets electrocuting his face and splinters slicing into him. Violet Harper and Justin Case seem to be pulling themselves out of this wreckage and Legion still has this massive ladder in his arms and he swings it from inside the ring at them. Violet ducks, Justin doesn’t and he gets a big piece of steel across his chin which sends him flying into Jaice Wilds knocked the fuck out.
Linzi Martin: Aw man, they spilled my coffee.
Mikey Massacre: Well, that’s one problem from all of this.
Violet Harper stumbles out, bleeding, bruised but standing. She’s a tough one. Legion ignores her, sets up the ladder now and begins climbing. Harper goes to the big super ladder on the outside like Justin Case and Jaice Wilds before her, though don’t tell her that they’re not doing so well right now. Legion is slower than Harper, giving her the time to speed her way on up to the top of the super ladder. She stands on the very top of it now, the cameras flashing. Legion scoffs as he reaches up for the Aggression championship.
Mikey Massacre: This should be good.
Linzi Martin: I’m on the edge of my seat!
Every single fan in the arena stands on their feet as Violet takes a deep breath and lunges off the ladder, pushing it to the ground with the force of her lunge. She goes for a dropkick on Legion but Legion catches her legs, Violet swings wildly and hits her head on the ladder as it teeters. She’s upside down now at the mercy of Legion who lifts her back up to ensure she feels the pain. It all happens so quickly, the cameras flashing are so blinding… ENTER BLACKNESS OFF THE TOP OF THE LADDER AND THROUGH THE LAST STANDING TABLE ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING! VIOLET HARPER IS FUCKED!
DING DING DING
Mikey Massacre: Wait, what?! Why did the bell ring?!
Linzi Martin: LOOK!
The belt is gone from the rope it was attached to. In the wreckage below, Legion looks up in pain as Violet Harper lays almost dead, clutching the Aggression championship. There are two referees who talk to each other and nod, as they look out to the REBELTron.
INSTANT REPLAY- BROUGHT TO YOU BY CTHULU FOR PRESIDENT 2012: We see the slow motion replay and as Legion brought Violet up for his patented finishing move, Violet quickly grabbed onto the Aggression title and as Legion rips her and himself down the title rips off with her.
Jenny Jersey: After video confirmation, the winner…. AND STILLLLLL REBEL PRO AGGRESSION CHAMPION…. VIOLET HARPER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mikey Massacre: Well god damn. What a finish.
Linzi Martin: GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER!
Mikey Massacre: Calm down what are you a feminazi?
Linzi Martin: NOPE! Now NONE of you sexist male pigs can doubt Violet Harper as the true Aggression Champion! SHE ROCKS!
Mikey Massacre: I think she’s dead.
“Gasoline” by Audioslave hits but Violet Harper is not moving. Legion gets to his feet and begins throwing chairs around and shaking his head as looks around. Case and Wilds are still dead in the announcers table as EMTs rush out to check on everyone.
Mikey Massacre: Legion might be the last one standing, but he isn’t the Aggression Champion.
Linzi Martin: His lust for destruction, cost him the title. But lucky for him, he’s in the World title match next! And hey, he’s actually still alive enough to fight in it.
Mikey Massacre: The night may not be done for him yet.
Violet’s eyes open as she’s helped to her feet by EMTs, Legion is already heading backstage shaking his head. Violet, amidst the blood and horribly bruised body of hers, smiles as she raises the Aggression title high above her head and the crowd cheers her on.
*****You Have The Right To Remain Silent*****
Legion is walking through some of the back halls of the Superdome following the TLC match, hiding his displeasure with the outcome well. He is being followed by three of his hooded priests. From the left, Vincent Black attacks two of the three priests, dropping them both to the ground with hard clotheslines. He spins on his heels and delivers a hard boot to the face of the third. Legion turns quickly and prepares to attack Black, when the two men are surrounded by New Orleans Police, as well as Sheriffs and various plainclothes officers. Vincent chuckles and backs up, as the ring of officers breaks to let him out. One officer, a plainclothes, begins to talk.
OFFICER: I am Agent Rod Sterling from the FBI. You are under arrest for kidnapping, torturing those you’ve kidnapped, trespa-
Legion has other plans, as he turns and punches the first officer within distance. He hits another as an officer behind him zaps him with his Tazer. Legion lets out an unfamiliar yelp and drops to his knees, where an officer cuffs him from behind.
Agent Sterling: And now, assaulting officers of the law, fuckmook.
Sterling takes Legion’s mask off, showing a surprisingly young man with green eyes looking hatefully up towards the agent. From off screen comes a middle aged man, who is let into the circle.
AGENT STERLING: Mr. Farnsworth, is this the man you see trespassing onto your property?
Mr. Farnsworth looks at the man, and nods.
MR. FARNSWORTH: Yes, it’s him.
Legion is Tazered again by another officer, and brought to his feet. He is led past Vincent, who spits in his unmasked face.
VINCENT: I won’t forget you, kid.
Vincent walks towards Mr. Farnsworth, hand extended. The two men shake hands.
VINCENT: He was really young, man. I’m surprised. But, he got what he deserved. Thank you for agreeing to identify him.
MR. FARNSWORTH: Yep. I had no idea a legit cult was in that old, burnt-out church. It’s sickening.
Black nods, he doesn’t care anymore. Legion’s gone. Black walks away, and Mr. Farnsworth watches him go as a smile spreads across his face.
MR. FARNSWORTH: The damned fool.
???: I know.
From the left of the shot appears Legion, who stands next to Farnsworth.
MR. FARNSWORTH: Brian gave a great sacrifice for our Church, letting himself be arrested in your stead.
Legion laughs.
LEGION: He did what had to be done. Vincent Black will get his soon…
*****Setting The Stage*****
Simon is en route to Lisa Seldon’s locker room, looking for answers. He turns a corner… and finds a set of guards taken out. He runs over, checking them out. Their tasers are missing, and a single bullet lies between them. Kalis picks up the bullet, thinking. He starts towards Lisa’s locker room once again, but notices a small trail of bullets leading elsewhere. He follows the trail back to his own office, where a chuckle can be heard. Kalis realizes that this is a trap, but enters anyways. He finds the seat at the desk turned toward the wall, and a line swept through the cascade of bullets. He approaches the desk, slamming his fists down.
Voice: Bout damn time. Was wondering if you’d forgotten I was here.
Simon Kalis: What the hell are you doing here, Lucious?
The chair spins, a grin-touting Lucious Starr seated behind the desk. He scoots up until he is seated directly at the desk, leaning over and placing the tips of his fingers together. His grin starts to fade ever so slightly as he speaks, mocking sadness.
Lucious Starr: Is that any way to greet an old friend? Or perhaps more importantly, a man you once called your brother?
Simon Kalis: You are NOT my fucking brother.
Lucious Starr: Honestly, Aaron, you surprise me. After all I’ve done for you- well, to you- you don’t consider me family? I mean, hell, Aaron. Everything I’ve done this far is a flattering copy of the horrid things you did during the Order’s reign of terror. But I guess when you’re head is stuffed that far up your own ass, you don’t see when…
Simon Kalis: Get to the fucking point, Lucious. What the hell are you doing here?
Lucious shakes his head, exhaling deeply. He takes a breath, extending his arms.
Lucious Starr: It’s over, Aaron. Game, set. In just a few short weeks, it will be the anniversary of the day it all began. And I’ve decided that that is exactly where it all ends.
Simon Kalis: What the fuck are you talking about? It ends where it began…
Kalis starts to realize, Lucious’ grin back in full effect.
Simon Kalis: Manitoba Mayhem.
Lucious Starr: Bingo, Kalis. The night the Order took hold. The night all our work came to fruition. The night we established ourselves as the most dominant faction in the history of the PWA. The night that this whole thing comes to a finale.
Simon Kalis: This shit ends NOW, Lucious. I want my son back. And I want you to leave me the hell alone.
Lucious Starr: All that will be taken care of. But first, I’ll need you to sign this.
Lucious slides a manilla folder across the table, Simon stepping forward. He opens it up, finding a small stack of papers inside. He scans the top page, looking up to Lucious.
Simon Kalis: This is a contract.
Lucious Starr: Is that what it is? I thought it was a set of Emily Corlen nudie pics. My bad.
Simon Kalis: You want me to sign a match contract for Manitoba Mayhem? What the hell do I get?
Lucious Starr: Easy. I get to beat the hell out of you, remove you from active competition, and get to claim the end of Simon Kalis. You… you get Brian back.
Simon raises a brow, a grin starting to form.
Simon Kalis: So what’s this contract say about when I win?
Lucious snorts, then sits back and just laughs. He slowly calms, shaking his head.
Lucious Starr: That’s a good one, Aaron. When you win. Yeah, I made a provision in the off chance you managed to irk out a win. If you do the impossible, you never hear from me again. I return Brian without another word, and I will be bound to stay away from you and your family forever- well, with the exception of scheduled matches that may arise later, but that’s a minor side note that isn’t important anywhere in the near future.
Simon nods, picking up a pen. He places the tip to the paper, starting with the first stroke… but abruptly stops.
Simon Kalis: What do you get out of this, Lucious?
Lucious laughs.
Lucious Starr: I told you. I get to beat you to within an inch of your life, and claim to be the man to end Simon Kalis.
Simon Kalis: It can’t possibly be that easy. There’s got to be something in here you’re not telling me about.
Lucious chuckles, throwing his head back. He leans in, getting nose-to-nose with Kalis.
Lucious Starr: All I want. All I’ve wanted this whole time. Was to end you. Manitoba Mayhem… is going to give me the platform to do so. And once you sign that match contract, I’m going to be able to beat you so badly that even the coroner will be too nauseated to come get you.
Simon and Lucious stare each other down, both serious. Simon suddenly cracks a smile, signing the contract.
Simon Kalis: I’ll do it. But only because I’m going to beat you so badly that even Joshua will be terrified to go anywhere near your decrepit corpse.
Simon looks up, both serious. Simon cracks a grin, pointing towards the door.
Simon Kalis: Karma’s a bitch, Lucy. And the time’s coming for you to get yours. Now, if you would… get the FUCK out of my arena.
Lucious looks on, an eyebrow raised and a slight grin. He nods, picking up the papers and folder and walks around the desk. He flips the bird as he exits the room, heading for the parking lot. Or is he? Simon turns, chuckling to himself.
*****Bring Your Own Weapon Invitational for the RPW World Championship*****
*****Lisa Seldon© vs. Legion vs. Bobby Lee vs. Emily Corlen vs. Bubba J vs. “Pocket Ace”*****
The match starts with just Bubba J, Legion, Bobby Lee and our super awesome eponymous heroine Lisa (YAY!) Seldon in the ring. All four wait in their respective corners, with Lisa Seldon sitting on the top turnbuckle and Bobby Lee trying to look small.
The bell sounds and Bubba and Legion charge each other down and instantly begin throwing fists. Legion, the much larger man presses the advantage in the back and forth exchange, but Bubba ducks a right hand and begins blasting him back toward the ropes, where he finishes with a clothesline that sends him straight over the top. He then follows closely behind as Bobby Lee rushes him from behind and tosses him over the top to the floor. Sadly, as it’s not a battle royal, he doesn’t get any points. He then turns around to see Lisa Seldon taking a run toward him and promptly ducks down to avoid her. Instead of kicking him in the face though, Lisa Seldon passes right over him with a Cartwheel before throwing herself into a Moonsault over the top-rope and two the floor where she wipes out both men beneath her.
Relatively unscathed, Lisa Seldon slides back under the bottom rope, allowing Bobby Lee to get the drop on her with a Double Axe-Handle smash. Bobby then picks her up and pitches her to the ropes and lowers his head for a Backdrop. Unfortunately he drops to early, and the only thing that hits the floor is his tinfoil hat. Lisa then returns from her trip to the ropes, slows herself to a halt directly in front of him and promptly flattens his tinfoil headgear under his foot. The crowd boo as expected.
LINZI MARTIN: Oh well that’s just mean.
Suddenly alive, Bobby Lee throws himself into a Lariat that inevitably ends with him laying on his face. He quickly scrambles to get up but Lisa moves quicker, putting her foot on the back of his head and making it the second thing tonight that she’s stomped into the mat. Meanwhile the two bulls on the outside have picked themselves up and brought the fight back fast and furious, with Bubba J whipping Legion into the guardrail, only for him to push himself off and come shooting back, turning Bubba J inside out with a Big Boot.
Bubba J rolls to his front and tries to shake the cobwebs clear, but Legion is on him like the colour of a food on the food of that colour, pulling him up by the head and dragging him into a Fireman’s Carry. Legion the steps to the guardrail, gets his hands in position and thrusts Bubba J into the air, holding him aloft for a few seconds before tossing him off the back and letting him crush the rail underneath.
LINZI MARTIN: A huge Gorilla Press from Legion flattens the security rail. It’s hard to tell which of them took that blow the worst.
MIKEY MASSACRE: My guess is Bubba’s fat gut braced him for most of the impact.
In the ring Lisa Seldon pushes Bobby Lee into a corner and happily kicks him in the chest until his forced to slip through the ropes and out to the floor for a time out. Lisa Seldon chooses to wave this request and follows him to the outside, but Bobby Lee reacts by doing the smartest thing he’s ever done and trips out her leg, causing her to crack her head against the ring apron. Meanwhile across the way, Legion has Bubba J pinned to the floor beneath the guardrail, which he leans down on top of and digs into the man’s throat.
LINZI MARTIN: Bubba J has already been through a war tonight and now Legion is looking to finish him off.
MIKEY MASSACRE: He’s made it has goal as of late to take out Hardcore Entertainment and it looks like he’s on the verge of getting rid of one more.
Legion digs it deep but Bubba J eventually manages to get a foot up and kick him off, sending Legion staggering back. He then tosses the rail aside, completely oblivious of the fan who just had their knee messed up, and then wastes no amount of effort by grabbing Legion by the legs and pulling him to the floor. Legion tries to fight him off but Bubba gets on top and begins raining down fists, holding Legion’s head up with one hand and hammering away at his face with the other.
Over by the announce desk we go again, where Bobby Lee has Lisa on the floor and as primed to smash her face into the ring apron. Seemingly though the intention is to leave him primed forever as Lisa puts her foot up on the apron and very easily staves off his attack, before reaching back and throwing an elbow into his face. Bobby Lee goes back and sinks to a knee, potentially to beg for mercy, but all Lisa see’s is a step, prompting her to put one foot up on his extended leg and one knee through his face and out the other side, shattering his jaw and leaving him in a heap as she steps through.
LINZI MARTIN: The Shining Wizard from Lisa Seldon. And it looks like she’s coming this way.
LISA SELDON: I sure am Linzi.
Says Lisa as she pie-faces the poor woman to the floor and jacks her headset.
LISA SELDON: So. What’s going on!
MIKEY MASSACRE: Old commentary partner is getting his body parts caved in.
LISA SELDON: Magical.
Bubba J has Legion on his feet and whips him into the ring post, sending him down in a heap. Both men have clearly seen better days but Legion has barely had a second to rest and Bubba J doesn’t let up, grabbing him by the head and smashing him off the ring apron and sending him across the floor.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Two matches in a row and the fight seems to be leaving Legion.
LISA SELDON: He’s taking his ass-whomping awful easy for a guy with 5000 goons and a crusade. I bet there’s a plan.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Well if you -
LISA SELDON: No! There’s a plan and I called it! Four points to me!
Legion crawls into the nearest rail and pulls himself back to his feet, leaning back over the rail and beckoning Bubba in. Inevitably he follows, grabbing Legion by the head and smashing him across the face. Legion the goes to the floor and Bubba follows, turning him away from the rail and preventing him from seeing the figures leaping the barricade.
LISA SELDON: See? A plan! Totally a plan. He’s going to jump everyone with his army of goons and win this match.
MIKEY MASSACRE: You know you’re still in it right?
LISA SELDON: There aren’t enough goons in the world to get by me.
Bubba’s arms are pulled behind his back from two goons while another two beat him with large wooden staffs. Bubba is pulled down to the floor off Legion, who sits up and watches as his cultists work over Bubba on the floor. The four men carry on pounding away as several more goons flood into the ringside area.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Shouldn’t you go get in there?
LISA SELDON: Neh I got plenty of time.
Legion’s priests pull Bubba to his feet and place him in front of Legion, who fire s a shot into Bubba’s stomach, causing him to go down. With two holding his arms though, a third wraps a cloth around bubba’s throat and pulls him back standing, only for Legion to put him down again.
MIKEY MASSACRE: This is going well.
LISA SELDON: Is for me!
A third shot puts Bubba to the mat, and this time they let him drop. Legion then steps over him and throws his hands high into the air. His victory is somewhat premature though, as another figure comes barrelling down the ramp.
LISA SELDON: Vincent Black to the rescue!
Black hits the floor and annihilates a goon with a bat. A second runs up and takes a kick in the stomach before the bat is brought down across his back and then a third goes down as Vincent drives the butt of the handle into their face. Legion moves at him to attack but Vincent throws him off by tossing another bat over his head. It lands in the hands of Bubba J.
LISA SELDON: Looks like he’s got Reaver… or Rover, Reaper…
Legion turns and takes the spiked back shot in the gut before Black drops him with one in the back. Legion drops to his knees and Vincent lifts his head by wrapping the bat across Legion’s throat, allowing Bubba to get his own back by smashing him in the stomach again. Before they can get any further though, a song picks up.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Cee Lo Green?
LISA SELDON: Fuck. I called that one too.
Red and violet lights shine around the arena, falling at the centre of the entrance ramp. Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You” hits the arena, as white fireworks light the ramp. The anticipation is rife, and as Lucious Starr steps out the fans explode, a hail of cheers and jeers flying his way.
LISA SELDON: Looks like business is about to… slow down to the point where everyone is forced out of work, eventually dying on the street. Probably of syphilis from having to blow crack dealers for money.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Career in a nutshell?
Starr runs at the first body he meets, which just so happens to be Bubba J, who gets brought to the floor and begins trading off fists. Meanwhile Legion uses the distraction to free himself and smash Black off the ringpost and then send him to the goons. Meanwhile Starr gets Bubba into the ring and leaps into a standing Leg Scissors to catch him with the Guillotine.
MIKEY MASSACRE: I Claim Your Soul from Lucious Starr! And Bubba is already weak from the night.
Starr cranks the hold in and Bubba sinks to a knee, but Legion drops both men by running through Starr with a Big Boot. Legion then lets Starr to his feet and wraps his hand around his throat. He then quickly pulls him off the mat and shatters him to the canvas with a Chokeslam.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Legion with the first pin of the night.
LISA SELDON: We still do those?
MIKEY MASSACRE: Apparently.
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And Bubba pulls Legion off the pin and drops an elbow on the back of his head. He then pulls Legion to his feet and hucks him to the ropes before shattering him on the mat with a Spinebuster. He then jumps into a pin himself.
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MIKEY MASSACRE: And this time Legion kicks out.
Bubba then pulls Legion back to his feet and fires a knee into his gut and then throws him into the corner, only to be brought down from behind by Starr who blasts him with a Forearm in the back. On cue, She Wolf takes up the speakers.
LISA SELDON: Hope they reinforced the ring tonight. Not that there’s enough material in the world.
Emily Corlen sprints for the ring and begins throwing quick lefts at Lucious Starr. He shrugs her off and fires a kick into her stomach to double her over and then charges with a Clothesline, only for Emily to duck the move and come up behind him with a Snap Kick between the eyes.
LISA SELDON: I don’t know if she actually hit him or if the breeze from throwing that elephant leg through the air brought him down.
Emily Corlen then jumps back up and walks right into a boot from Bubba J, who then turns for the Trailer Park Trash. However Emily pushes him away, sending him into Legion and knocking them both in the corner. Bubba then falls back into Emily, who steps under his arm, grabs his waist and snaps back with a quick Backdrop.
LISA SELDON: Well… you.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Mikey.
LISA SELDON: I suppose I should be getting back to work. Give your trollope my regards.
Lisa Seldon gets up, rushes forward and body-bags an unsuspecting minion of the antichrist. Meanwhile Vincent Black is still finding his hands full with the rest of them, but seems to be getting the better of them. He demonstrates this by picking one up for a Powerbomb and shattering them across the ring-frame. Inside Emily Corlen finds her advantage lost as Legion pushes aside a Dropkick attempt and lets her fall on her face. She gets up quick but Legion is there waiting for her, and walks her into a DDT across the canvas. Meanwhile Vincent Black finds his hands free, and turns his attention to some weaponry.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Back then.
LINZI MARTIN: Harumph.
Vincent Black slides a barbedwire board into the ring which immediately rouses the fans. Meanwhile Bubba J has his feet and is waiting for Legion to turn. He then kicks him in the gut, catches his head and brings him down with a Vertical Suplex across the board. The fans rise in a cheer and Legion seethes, arching up from the pain, only for the barbs to bite in and pull him back.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Not the most graceful wrestler in the world, but it doesn’t take much to pull off a Suplex.
LINZI MARTIN: Seeing this give you any thoughts of getting back in the ring?
MIKEY MASSACRE: … Nope, not today.
Bubba rips Legion from the board and tosses him to the outside. Meanwhile Starr is on his feet and on Corlen with a German Suplex, planting her to the mat and holding for the cover.
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The second hand hits as Lisa Seldon comes off the ropes with a Double Stomp into Starr’s gut to break the pin. Starr the staggers up and takes a kick in the ribs that staggers him to one side, allowing Lisa to hop up and nail him with an Enzugiri, dropping him to his knees. Lisa then lets him get a leg off the mat, allowing her to catch him from behind and roll him over into a Schoolboy Pin, rolling over onto her back for extra leverage.
LINZI MARTIN: Mouse Trap from Lisa, and Starr is struggling.
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MIKEY MASSACRE: And Emily pulls the legs out from under her.
Emily catches Lisa with a knee in the stomach and then hooks both her arms for the MDK, but Lisa breaks her grip and twists out. Emily tries to recover but Lisa holds her arm and pulls her into an Armdrag and then a Hurricanrana on the turn.
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MIKEY MASSACRE: Emily kicks her way free.
Lisa lands in the ropes and Emily jumps up behind her for a German Suplex, but Lisa keeps herself grounded. Lucious Starr however has other ideas and catches Emily as well to Suplex them both. Emily loses her grip though and sends Lisa through a flip, allowing her to land on all fours. Meanwhile Emily ends up laying across Starr’s knees, where she struggles to get free, only for Lisa to leap up and land a Legdrop across her chest.
Star dumps Corlen in a heap and lets her roll to the outside. Meanwhile Lisa rolls to her feet and goes to remind him of the time she ruined his career for several months, only to be pulled out of the ring by her legs as the druids get back involved. Starr instead then turns his attention to Corlen, sliding the barbedwire board out to the floor with him.
Starr sets the board up across two chairs and then turns back to Emily, who tries to tackle him into the apron, only to be turned the other way. Emily swings around to fight him but Starr kicks her in the gut to double her up, grabs her hair and then throws her backwards to snap her head across the apron. He then forces her up and follows, stepping to his feet and pulling her up between his legs.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Setting her up for Hell’s Fury… or Wrath… or Gate.
Starr lifts Emily but can’t get her off the apron. He then let’s go but Emily drops off the apron and reaches up to punch him in the stomach. Starr drops and Emily hooks both his arms, grits her teeth and arches back to drag him off the apron.
LINZI MARTIN: MDK!
Emily turns, dragging Starr off the mat, turning the other way and then smashing him through the barbedwire board, shattering it with the Angel’s Wings.
MIKEY MASSACRE: And he is outta there!!!
Emily gets to her feet, pushing back her hair and soaking in the cheers of the fans. The moment quickly turns for her though as someone brings her down from behind.
LINZI MARTIN: It’s Simon Kalis!
MIKEY MASSARE: And he just pistol-whipped her.
Emily drops but Simon carries on beating her about the head with the butt of his gun. The fans boo but Simon tunes them out, bringing the ass end of the gun down again and again across the back of her head.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Simon’s doing that bitch over but it looks like he’s got company.
A cheer rings up from the fans, causing Simon to get to his feet and leap the barricade immediately at the sight of Johnny Maverick wheeling down the ramp. Simon back up through the crowd, various bodies either patting him on the back or flipping him off. Johnny lets him go and moves in onto Emily who is just now coming too. A few seconds pass in a daze for her, but eventually it all clicks and she moves to go after Kalis, only for her legs to give out. Johnny helps her up but has to hold her at bay as she spits blind rage in Kalis general direction. He waves them goodbye as he turns and disappears into the crowd.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Looks like the boss just stepped in and put an end to her night.
LINZI MARTIN: That’s one way to put it. I’d call it a massive, flagrant abuse of power myself.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Potato/patato.
Johnny helps Emily up the ramp as the fans nearby cheer her out. Meanwhile we cut to Lisa, who gets whipped toward one priest and stops herself put putting her foot up into their chest. Lisa then throws an elbow into the gut of one coming up behind her, kicks off the chest of the one in front of her and rolls across the back of the guy she just elbowed down. He stands up on pure reflex and then falls down on his face when Lisa lifts her leg and smashes him across the head. Inevitably this is going to carry on like this, so we cut to the crowd where Bubba and Black have Legion held up arm in arm. The two take a step forward, lift and send Legion flying with a huge, high-elevation Hip-Toss that wipes out all manner of chairs beneath him.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Look out below!
LINZI MARTIN: Good thing the company itself is worth so little that no one will ever bother to sue us.
Legion crawls through the heap, clawing his way back up through a mess of chairs to get back at them. He swings wild at Bubba J and misses, right before being brought down from behind by Vincent Black with a chair. Bubba J then steps forward over the man and smashes him soundly in the head with a knee.
Legion grabs a fan and pulls to his feet before shoving them into Bubba and Black. The fan is tossed aside, by both men, neither of them aware that the fan is a plant; that cracks Bubba in the back of the head with a set of brass knuckles the second no one is looking. Bubba falls to a knee and Black turns to help him up, which is all the time Legion needs to grab the nearest chair and pitch it into Black’s face. Legion then leaps forward and floors both of them with a Double Clothesline before collapsing to his knees. He then lifts his hand and gestures for… something.
The crowds suddenly part ways as another batch of priests slowly make their way through the gap, leading something on a chain. The fans around begin to quieten as the first few priests part ways.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Looks like Legion brought a weapon after all.
The beast known as Mammon steps forward from the crowd, suddenly unchained and pointed towards Vincent Black, whose face gets ground down beneath a massive right hand. Mammon then thunders away with shots before being pulled off by Legion, turned and forcibly thrust into the path of Bubba J, who doesn’t so much as get a fist as the full body as Mammon roars right through him. Legion then leaves him to play as he heads back to the ring.
Back at ringside Lisa is still merrily cutting through bodies. The next one runs at her, only for Lisa to step under their attack and stick a knee in their stomach. Lisa then puts one foot on the back of their head, pushing herself into the air and coming down on top of them to shatter their various faceless features off the concrete floor.
LINZI MARTIN: Another one bites the dust. Which will be very hard for them when their jaw is embedded into the concrete floor.
Lisa then turns to follow up on whoever might be next, but Legion gets the drop on her, catching her on the run, whirling around with her in his arms and driving her through the announce table. Legion staggers away laughing, falling to his knees but still remaining very much in high spirits.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh my water has no where to sit and we need to buy a new table. Also Lisa is down.
LINZI MARTIN: She pushed me down earlier and so I find it hard to feel bad.
Legion pulls himself up again and then pulls Lisa from the wreckage by her hair. He then makes a point of dragging her along the floor, heading toward the ramp. Lisa tries to kick him off, forcing him to let go and beat her with a series of right hands. He then drags her to her feet and onto his shoulder as he carries her up the entrance way.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Looks like someone is going to get lucky tonight.
LINZI MARTIN: I don’t think it’s going to be Lisa.
Legion gets to the top of the ramp and tosses Lisa face first into her own statue, which is altogether very rude of him. He then lets her get as far as her hands and knees before driving a boot into her stomach, sending her rolling dangerously close to the edge. Legion then steps over and pulls her up again.
The beast returns to join Legion on top of the ramp and has Lisa thrust into his hands. Legion looks out across the arena, scanning the building before setting his eyes on the floor beneath the ramp. He points down into a pile of about-to-be debris.
Legion stands back as Mammon lifts Lisa off the mat by the throat and carries her to the edge of the ramp. His cold blue eye pierces into her own as he draws her in close, looking for the fear behind hers. Sadly, he brings her in too close.
MIKEY MASSACRE: In the eyes! Or I guess just eye.
Lisa blows a jet of blue mist into Mammon’s eyes, causing him to drop her and stagger back blind. The beast swings violently looking to tear off her face but can’t get a hand to her as she rolls out of his grasp. Legion turns to see the commotion and charges Lisa down and throws a forearm into her face. Lisa answers back with a Push Kick in the chest. Legion then moves to attack her again but gets distracted by Bubba and Black chasing him down. Legion takes a powder through the curtain and the two go after him, leaving Lisa and Mammon alone on the stage.
The beast charges at Lisa and throws an arm but misses the mark as she darts under his arm. He then turns and leaps at her again, but this time he runs into the nearest statue, cracking it against his head. Mammon then staggers back in a daze as the statue begins to sway. Lisa spies an opening.
Bracing herself against the stage wall, Lisa puts her feet up against the still quivering statue, braces and finally tips it over. Mammon turns around just in time to see it fall, and come crashing down on top of him.
Mammon struggles beneath the statue but even he finds it too heavy to lift. Meanwhile down the ramp Black and Bubba have Legion between them; Black lifting him up with an Inverted Powerbomb and Bubba stepping in to catch him around the throat and splatter him on the steel with the Ace Crusher.
LINZI MARTIN: Elitist Drop!
MIKEY MASSACRE: The numbers are starting to thin alright.
Black carries on the attack against Legion, fighting him off the ramp. Meanwhile Bubba makes his way back to the ring, stopping only to grab a few boards from under the ring and slide them in with him. He then turns to Lisa and beckons her in.
Lisa considers the invitation, shrugs her shoulders and slides in after him. She immediately picks up a chair as Bubba comes at her with his bat. He swings over head but Lisa deflects the blow and then fires off one of her own that cuts through the air as he darts back. Black teases his next shot, forcing her to block high, only to go low and slam his bat into her stomach. Lisa then drops the chair and Bubba hammers her across the back, sticking the various broken everything into her back and then peeling it off as she falls to her knees.
Bubba moves in behind Lisa and drops the bat onto her head, grinding it against her skin and opening various fissures across the top of her head. He then tosses the bat aside and turns his attention to a barbedwire board, that he slides into the centre of the ring. Bubba then picks Lisa up and drags her into a Powerbomb that Lisa tries to fight off, but Bubba shrugs a series of punches off and then hammers her down into the board; spines of metal tearing at her flesh as he presses her down. Bubba then leaves forward on top of her for the pin.
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MIKEY MASSACRE: And she’s out at two!
Lisa kicks him off and goes over, her skin forcibly torn from the spikes as she rolls over to her stomach. Bubba carries on the attack, this time picking Lisa up with a Gutwrench, flipping Lisa up into the air and letting her spill off his shoulder, this time dropping her face first into the wire. Lisa grits her teeth and lets out some very unpleasant noises, but Bubba doesn’t let up, grabbing her by the hair and ripping her free again. Bubba then throws her to the corner and begins shooting out right hands, snapping her head back with each shot and forcing her down to the floor. He then drops the punches for kicks, stamping her down to the floor.
Bubba then turns his attention back to the board. Picking it up and putting it prickly side down on Lisa before hitting it with a stomp. He then runs to the nearest rope, fires back and throws a kick, grinding the wood and thorns against her face.
Bubba then pulls her free and flattens her with a DDT before rolling into the cover.
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LINZI MARTIN: And she’s out again.
Bubba pulls Lisa to her feet and pushes her into the ropes. He then grabs the chair in one hand and his bat in the other, throwing the chair up and into her hands and then swinging with the bat. He strikes out though as Lisa ducks the shot and then throws the chair back into his hands, allowing Bubba to duck this time. Lisa fakes him out though, waiting for Bubba to bend over before jumping up, placing her leg across the back of his head and smashing him into the chair with a Fameasser. Bubba then rolls to his back and Lisa punches on the cover.
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LINZI MARTIN: And this time Bubba kicks free.
Lisa gets to her feet, a little shaky as blood pumps from various wounds. She fights on though, turning to the mostly shattered barbedwire board and tearing a strand of the wire free. She then wraps it in her hands, pulls it tort and leaps on Bubba from behind, garrotting him as they both go to the floor.
MIKEY MASSACRE: This is how she put away Justin Case, and she’s about to make it two!
Bubba kicks and struggles as Lisa strangles the life from him. Blood flows from between her fingers and down Bubba’s neck, but Lisa perseveres cutting through his throat. The ref moves to check if he’s out and drops his hand, but after the second he holds his hand high, earning a cheer from the crowd.
Bubba struggles and rolls to his front; clambering to his feet with Lisa still on his back. Not content to give up so easily, Lisa holds on tight and chokes away, but Bubba finally fight to his feet and throws himself back into the corner, crushing Lisa between him and the corner buckle. He then throws back an elbow, cracking her in the jaw and finally breaking her grip. A second is just for fun and then a third fires off for good measure. Lisa then slumps in the ropes and Bubba falls to his knees, ripping the wire out of his throat and tossing it aside.
Bubba pushes past a mess of wire boards and instead grabs a much less conspicuous one. At first it seems to just be wood, but a certain glint catches the light. The camera moves in.
MIKEY MASSACRE: Here come the razorblades.
Bubba drops the board in the centre of the ring and turns back to Lisa. He then forces her up onto the top and follows up with a right hand that leaves her swaying on the ropes. He then follows her up.
MIKEY MASSACRE: He’s wrapping her up for a Superplex.
LINZI MARTIN: And he’s aiming for that razorblade board.
Bubba J halls back but Lisa keeps her legs wrapped in the ropes, forcing him to let go and begin pounding away with fists to soften her up. He then steps a foot onto the top-rope and looks to take Lisa with him, but she finally fights back, getting her foot up and kicking him straight in the chest. Bubba drops back to the second and tries to hold on, but a second kick rattles his jaw, allowing Lisa to grab his head between her feet and pull him down, smashing his face into the top buckle. Bubba then sways back, but not before Lisa pulls him in and smashes him with a headbutt, rattling both their skulls and letting him fall back. Lisa sends him the rest of the way with a foot in the face.
Bubba J falls to the mat through a gasp from the fans, but ultimately saves himself from falling into the razor-boards as he turns and lands on his hands and knee, inches from the blades. His eyes reset and a smile creeps across his face as he sees just where he is. Sadly, Lisa Seldon sees where he is too.
LINZI MARTIN: Lisa’s perched on the top-rope.
Lisa doesn’t even give him a chance to move as she leaps from the top-rope, bringing up both her knees and sinking them into the back of Bubba’s head. She then comes down on top of him, splattering his face off the mat as the razors rip through his head.
LINZI MARTIN: The Horror Pop!
MIKEY MASSACRE: and Bubba J’s face has been ripped right off.
Lisa Seldon clambers to her feet, her knees beginning to red with blood. She fires on though, grabbing his head and smashing it into the razors again and again until it comes up a raw and bloody mess. She then pulls him up to his knees, steps back and let’s rip with a Roundhouse Kick through the side of his head, sending him to the floor.
MIKEY MASSACRE: The Killer from Lisa Seldon. And Bubba is out!
Lisa drops down by his side, utterly oblivious to the razors in her knee as she rolls him for the cover.
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3!!!
DING DING DING
Lisa Seldon looks around as the referee hands her the REBEL Pro World title.
Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, and STILLLLLLLLLLLL REBEL Pro World Heavyweight Champion…. LISA SELDON!!!!
?
Mikey Massacre: So what not even the world can bring this woman down?
Linzi Martin: Ohhhh isn’t it exciting?!
Lisa rolls out of the ring and leaves as Jeremy Gold comes running down to the ring to survey the damage. Eventually Gold directs everyone away from ringside for some reason but Bubba J especially does not seem too pleased right now.
*****Teaser*****
Mikey Massacre: Well, fans, we have had an amazing show tonight. But tune in next week to Aggression for more-
Suddenly, the lights go out in the Superdome and everything goes pitch black as the fans buzz in anticipation with Jeremy Gold still in the ring.
Linzi Martin: Did we pay the light-bill for the building?
Mikey Massacre: What the heck is going on?
Linzi Martin: Someone turn the freakin’ lights on NOW!
In the midst of the darkness, we hear the bagpipe intro from “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle.
Mikey Massacre: I never thought I’d hear bagpipes in REBEL Pro…
Linzi Martin: I could have pictured banjos and six-toed mutant possum babies…
Just then, the lights come back on and the music stops. As Jeremy Gold is looking around, they see Confederate flags in all four ring posts with a jug of moon-shine and a copperhead snake slithering in the ring as the fans buzz loudly in anticipation wondering what the heck is going on as Jeremy Gold is sent of the ring upon seeing the snake screaming in fear, his sixth pair of pants for the evening staining with piss like the previous five.
Mikey Massacre: What the HELL is going on?
Linzi Martin: I don’t know, but I have a BAD feeling about this…
Mikey Massacre: Apparently, somebody out there is trying to send REBEL Pro a message… maybe we’ll get to the bottom of this next week on Aggression.
Linzi Martin: I sure hope that snake’s been de-fanged!
Mikey Massacre: Hah, right. For Linzi Martin, this is Mikey Massacre… We’ll see you next week folks.
*****QUICK RESULTS*****
Corey Lazarus & Thunderwolf defeat The (Super) Power Couple
Hardcore Entertainment defeats Gabe Shelley & Alexia Fender
Violet Harper defeats Legion, Justin Case & Jaice Wilds
Lisa Seldon defeats Bobby Lee, Emily Corlen, Bubba J, Legion & Lucious Starr
