“Attitude, you got some fucking attitude”
The opening theme begins with Akuma being led from the backstage to the ring by a dog collar, Jester laughing but the sound muted thanks to the Aggression Theme Song playing. The duo step into the ring and the shot transitions…
“I can’t believe what you say to me”
Akuma picks up Case and SHOVES Case’s head between his legs!
“You got some attitude”
UP! AND! DOWN!
“Inside your feeble brain there’s probably a whore”
BLUE THUNDER BOMB!
“If you don’t shut your mouth you’re gonna feel the floor”
AKUMA SLAMS HIM RIGHT INTO THE THUMBTACKS!
” Attitude, the one you got, oh baby”
Johnny Maverick holding up the Carolinas belt before the belt dissolves into the current Rebel Pro Aggression title.
“Attitude, the one you got, oh baby”
The shot again transitions to Grandpa Gary delivering the Sixty Year Old Stunner onto Moke Doshky.
“Attitude, attitude”
Another transition to Grandpa Gary holding the Aggression title.
“Inside your feeble brain there’s probably a whore”
GRANDPA GARY: BACON!
“If you don’t shut your mouth you’re gonna feel the floor”
Dr. Tittylover picks Maverick up…
ROB MARTINEZ: Mothership Connection!
“Attitude, you got some fucking attitude”
Venar stands at the top of the ladder, looking down with both Rebel Pro Tag Team Championship belts in hand, he drops one down to Johnny Maverick.
“Attitude I can’t believe what you say to me”
JENNY JERSEY: Juggernauts, Bitch!
“You got some attitude”
Casino walking down a hallway, wrestling bag slung over his shoulder and a very confident look on his face. As the image begins to fuzz out…
“Attitude, you got some fucking attitude”
Marcus Marion comes into focus as he jumps up and delivers the Revolutionary Thrill to “The Show” Chad Kurtis.
“Attitude I can’t believe what you say to me”
Marcus stands up, holding the World Title over his shoulder, Nicole Rhodes beside him and both looking smug and confident enough for the entire roster.
“You got some attitude”
Akuma has Justin Case up.
“”Attitude, you got some fucking attitude”"
Facebuster into the case of beer bottles! Case counters with a facebuster to Akuma into the glass bottles!
ROB MARTINEZ: Holy Mother what a counter!
Chad Kurtis stands on the top of a steel cage, he looks back at Kyle Roberts, back to the fans.
“”Attitude, you got some fucking attitude”"
“SHOW…SHOW…SHOW! “
He climbs all the way up, disregarding the poor footing cause of the barbwire. Kyle Roberts hasn’t moved, but it could be a possum
The film slows down… Slow Motion.
180 DEGREES
360 DEGREES
“”Attitude, you got some fucking attitude”"
480 DEGREES
560 DEGREES
“”Attitude, you got some fucking attitude”"
SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY DEGREE SPLASH….
CONNECTS!!!
THE COVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
THE CROWD EXPLODES!
ROB MARTINEZ: OHHH MY GOD! UN FUCKING BELIEVABLE! 3 and half turns off the cage.
JENNY JERSEY: The best indy wrestling promotion has just hit your television screen. Now sit your ass down and hold on for the ride of your life!
A pause…
JENNY JERSEY: Welcome! To! Rebel! Pro! Wrestling!
The arena hosting tonights REBEL Aggression show is….Well empty. The ring crew, assorted vendors and even the announce team are sitting around making small talk. Occasionally someone will check their watch and cast a look at the doors.
ROB MARTINEZ: I’m going to ask one more time Corey….What time did you tell the radio DJs that the show would start?
COREY TAYLOR: Er, did I tell you guys that the radio station all gave us free tee shirts?
The doors fly open and in walks, no not fans, but Fantastic Andy!
ROB MARTINEZ: What the Fu…
Fantastic Andy comes out carrying a boom box. As he enters the arena, he pushes the play button and “The Final Countdown” starts to play. Rob Robinson, the Phoenix, comes in, wearing a dark blue suit, and he heads to the ring with Fantastic Andy following close behind. Robinson hops the barricade and climbs the ringsteps into the ring, then proceeds to climb each turnbuckle to play to the non-existent crowd. Once he’s done with that he heads to the center of the ring and Fantastic Andy stops the music.
COREY TAYLOR: Thank God I hate that song.
ROB ROBINSON: Rebel Pro, allow me to welcome you to my hometown. Don’t take the crowd, or lack thereof, as an indicator of Orlando’s feelings about wrestling. The fact of the matter is, I bought all the tickets myself. I really didn’t have a choice, I couldn’t allow you to subject the fine people of Orlando to the garbage that you pass off as wrestling. Actually, to be totally honest, I’m the guy that booked the next three shows down here. I had Fantastic Andy here call Larry Gordon and pass himself off as an event promoter that wanted to bring Rebel Pro to Orlando. Gordon, the fool that he is, jumped at the money and exposure and here we are.
ROB ROBINSON: Why would I go all this trouble? Because this company is a joke and it makes the sport I’ve dedicated my life to look like a joke. I may not be able to force Rebel Pro to stop putting on shows, but I can sure as hell make sure that no one can come to them. I look at it as doing humanitarian work. So enjoy performing in a ghost town for the rest of your sorry careers. When the run of shows in Orlando is over, don’t think this is over. Do you think your loyal fans will bother coming to see you once they hear you left them to do shows in front of empty seats?
COREY TAYLOR: ECW used to do it all the time. Oh wait, bad example.
ROB ROBINSON: But most importantly, do you know the real reason I did this? Because I can. You guys can’t do anything to me, you can’t affect my life in a single meaningful way. But I can control your entire world. Because I’m a big star from a big company with a shitload of money. And what good is having the money if you can’t enjoy spending it? I’ve never made a secret of how much I hate this company and how every single match is a personal insult to me and the sport I love. But those are just words. This is me taking action. Those of you in the back that can read and write, take some notes on how a real man operates.
COREY TAYLOR: Get your notepad ready Rob!
ROB ROBINSON: One last thing and then I’ll let this mockery of a show continue. I’ve noticed that you guys can’t even defend yourself from a mystery attacker, even your champions get beat down on a weekly basis! Since the Phoenix is in the building tonight, since a real athelete is here, consider yourselves safe for tonight. Actually, I’ll extend my protection for all three shows in Orlando. For the last month you’ve been afraid and jumping at shadows, but tonight you get to see what its like to be feared and powerful. And it is just further proof that I’m better than you.
Fantastic Andy starts the boombox and Phoenix leaves the ring, playing to the nonexistent crowd before sitting in a throne like chair.
JENNY JERSEY: Welcome to REBEL Pro wrestling!
KILLSWITCH ENGAGE.
There is no crowd to deliver boos!
ROB MARTINEZ: There are no boos, but I can still feel the fans at home hating this man.
COREY TAYLOR: …
ROB MARTINEZ: I can’t believe Gordon is giving this monster another chance!
Jester the Ringleader emerges from the back to meet the empty Orlando Rec Center, the angry, intense Akuma following close behind.
JENNY JERSEY: Making his way to the ring! From the Demonic Circus, weighing in at three hundred twenty five pounds! AKUMA THE MALIGNANT!
Akuma slides into the ring and holds the ropes open for his master. “I’m A Rebel” hits up the speakers and the crowd is still non existant.
Larry Gordon emerges from the curtain with a microphone in hand.
LARRY GORDON: Now, I know how you all think that what happened at last week’s Main Event was completely unprofessional and just plain wrong.
Crickets, literally one hops across the floor.
LARRY GORDON: But you see, I’m a forgiving person. Tonight, Akuma the Malignant will be given just one more chance to prove himself. And he will do so against the wrestler that I have chosen. If he loses? He’s gone.
Two crickets, but it is The Phoenix’s tapping on his IPhone that is heard above the silence of the invisible crowd.
LARRY GORDON: Now, I thought long and hard about who I would choose to be Akuma’s opponent for tonight. I think I’ve finally made a decision. Someone who’s worked hard. Someone who has shown a lot of promise. Someone who has picked up a little bit of gold since their return…
The IPhone buzzes, Phoenix has a new text. Gordon looks over to Phoenix, disgust but a smirk on his face as well. Either way, he and his wrestlers get paid; empty arena or not.
LARRY GORDON: I’m talking about a former Aggression Champion and a two time World Tag Team champion. And he’s making his way to the ring… now.
“YOU SAY YOU KNOW JUST WHO I AM.”
COREY TAYLOR: Wait, what?
ROB MARTINEZ: That’s Jacob Venar’s music! You remember how Akuma came to be in REBEL Pro, don’t you? As Venar’s bodyguard against Johnny Maverick and Justin Case!
LARRY GORDON: What better way to rid REBEL Pro of this monster… than the same way he came in?
“Falcon” Jacob Venar emerges from the curtain, a look of severe focus and determination in his red eyes. He walks out from the curtain slowly, stopping beside Larry Gordon to look at his competition, then back to the commissioner. Venar removes the World Tag belt from his shoulder and hands it to Gordon, before walking toward the ring, checking his wrist tape.
JENNY JERSEY: Making his way to the ring! From British Columbia, Canada! Weighing in a two hundred forty five pounds! He is one half of the REBEL Pro World Tag Team Champions! “FALCON”! JACOB! VENAR!
Venar breaks into a full sprint half way to the ring and DIVES over the middle rope, rolling to his feet to meet a laughing Ringleader. The Ringleader leaves the ring as referee Jimmy Johnson gets into position and calls for the bell.
DING DING.
COREY TAYLOR: This… Could get interesting.
ROB MARTINEZ: That it could. Venar has been on an impressive roll since his return, only being pinned once, losing the Aggression title to Xandor Cross a month or so ago. Other than that, he’s been undefeated in singles competition.
COREY TAYLOR: Well, even the monstrous Akuma isn’t undefeated.
ROB MARTINEZ: Exactly! It will be interesting to see how this match transpires!
Akuma readies himself, growling with anger. The former Bird of Prey scoffs a little, glaring up at the monster as he readies himself as well. The monster charges, but Venar sideswipes! Akuma stops short of hitting the turnbuckle but Venar lines him up with a standing drop kick to the back that sends the beast careening into the turnbuckle. The angry Akuma turns to cause damage to Venar, but Venar evades the second attack as well, ducking under the beast’s arm and hitting a WHISPER IN THE WIND that connects with the monster’s skull! Venar goes down as Akuma reels, holding his head. Venar is quickly back to his feet, and he runs to the ropes hitting a SPRINGBOARD CROSS BODY–CAUGHT BY AKUMA! Venar in trouble as Akuma winds him up and DENTS the canvas with a HUGE powerslam! Venar grits his teeth, but Akuma doesn’t give him time to relax, bending over and grabbing Venar by the long black hair. Akuma with an irish whip to the corner, following up with a HUGE splash!
COREY TAYLOR: OOH, Venar got the wind knocked out of him on that one!
ROB MARTINEZ: Yeah, that was a huge blow from Akuma! Larry Gordon is watching from the curtain… I wonder what he sees in this kid?
Larry Gordon watches intently from the top of the aisle as Venar takes a couple STIFF shots to the head before being irish whipped to the ropes. Venar comes back on the rebound and takes a BIG BOOT that levels him! Venar appears to be getting frustrated as the Ringleader barks orders from ringside. Akuma lays a few STIFF boots to Venar’s midsection and head while he tries to cover up, but there’s only so much you can do against
size seventeens. The Ringleader barks an order from the outside, and Akuma walks over to the turnbuckle and TEARS off the protective rubber padding covering the unforgiving steel! Akuma, further obeying his master, grabs a rising Venar and irish whips Venar, WITH AUTHORITY, into the turnbuckle! Venar bounces off the steel, holding the small of his back as he growls from the canvas. Akuma picks Venar up and hits a SNAP SUPLEX that sends all of the blood rushing out of Venar’s head. Akuma goes for the cover, and Johnson slides into position.
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT at two by the Falcon! Akuma looks at his master, who immediately orders him to start searching under the ring for something. Akuma rolls out, and digs around under the canvas, throwing out several items. A table, a burlap sack, a kendo stick, a barbed wire baseball bat, a steel chair, you name it, it’s now amongst the debris strewn throughout the floor. Akuma looks at the weapons at his disposal, choosing which one to use — HOLY HELL SUICIDE PLANCHA! Venar out of NOWHERE with a suicide plancha to the outside takes Akuma into the guard rail, almost taking out the Ringleader in the meantime.
ROB MARTINEZ: HOLY HANNAH DID YOU SEE THAT?!
COREY TAYLOR: That was SICK! He almost took out that laughing maniac too!
Venar grabs the closest thing at his disposal, the kendo stick, and starts BEATING Akuma with it about the head and arms as the monster tries to cover up. The stick BURSTS into splinters with a good shot to the beast’s head, and Venar tosses the stick away with a smirk. He grabs the groggy Akuma and WHIPS him hard into the apron before picking up the burlap sack and tossing it into the ring, its contents spilling throughout the ring. Venar rolls the Demon into the ring, but holds his head on the apron. Venar climbs the ring steps, bounces off the ropes, LEG DROP across the throat of Akuma! Venar is getting fired up! He rolls into the ring and drags Akuma in with him. Venar digs around the burlap sack and pulls out a silk bag with a draw string and a staple gun. Venar advances on Akuma, and KA-CHUNKS three staples into the monster’s face. Akuma growls loudly, blood trickling down his face as Venar tosses away the staple gun and hooks Akuma up — Akuma counters, slapping away Venar’s hand and kicking him in the gut! Akuma, setting up for All’s End… Venar breaks free! He backs away from Akuma, CHARGES… SUPERMAN PUNCH! Akuma reels, holding his face, but Venar holds his hand in pain, taking a lot out of that strike!
ROB MARTINEZ: THAT, ladies and gents, is a new move in Venar’s repertoire we’ve never seen before! He calls that the Falcon Punch!
COREY TAYLOR: It was awesome!
ROB MARTINEZ: I thought you hated Venar?
COREY TAYLOR: Yeah, he’s a freakin’ glory hound. Show off.
Venar sizes up the monster… RUNNING ENZUIGIRI! NO! AKUMA CATCHES VENAR BY THE LEG AND SLAMS HIM INTO THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE! Venar arches his back in pain, as Akuma reaches down for the bag. He empties the contents…
TEN.
THOUSAND.
THUMBTACKS!
COREY TAYLOR: What is it with Akuma and thumbtacks?
ROB MARTINEZ: I guess he likes them, Taylor. Just like you like underage girls.
COREY TAYLOR: I had NO IDEA she was underage. Get off my back.
Akuma turns to Venar, who kicks Akuma in the face! Akuma staggers! Venar kicks Akuma in the inside of the knee, dropping him to one knee. SHINING WIZARD! AKUMA GOES DOWN IN THE THUMBTACKS! Venar hits the turnbuckle, HE FLIES! MOONSAULT… No, FULL ROTATION! MOONSAULT SENTON CONNECTS! Akuma holds his midsection after the impact!
ROB MARTINEZ: Another of Venar’s new moves called “Unkindness”!
COREY TAYLOR: OH MY GAW– Ahem… It was “all right” I guess.
Rob Martinez rolls his eyes as Akuma writhes on the mat, the thumbtacks digging into his back. Venar is getting up slowly as well, looking to end it all here! He climbs the turnbuckle, readies himself… looks to the empty building around him! HE FLIES!
SPREAD!
MY!
WINGS!
NOBODY HOME! VENAR LANDS SQUARE IN THE SEA OF THUMBTACKS!
ROB MARTINEZ: Venar, putting his career, no his LIFE, on the line with that move!
COREY TAYLOR: DAMN Akuma got out of there in a hurry! That was FAST!
Venar is writhing on the mat, holding his bleeding back in pain, but he appears to be smiling. Jester the Ringleader tosses the steel chair into the ring as Akuma stands to his feet. Akuma takes the chair as Venar gets to his hands and knees. FWHACK! The thumbtacks are sent DEEPER into Venar’s back with that strike! ANOTHER shot! A THIRD! Venar is rolling around in the thumbtacks! Ringleader barks an order at Akuma, and he tosses the chair away. Akuma picks up Venar and locks in a TORTURE RACK! THE ARMS OF DESPAIR! Venar is flailing, kicking, trying to get free, but Akuma wrenches HARDER on the hold as Larry Gordon watches from the aisle! Johnny Maverick appears as well, carrying his half of the tag titles, to watch this match alongside Gordon. Venar fights, but it looks like he might tap! Venar raises his arm… he’s close, Jimmy Johnson is checking… But Venar starts laughing? Akuma is thrown off by Venar’s painful cackling, enjoying his own misery. Akuma looks at his master, who YELLS at him to release him! Akuma SLAMS Venar face first into the thumbtacks as he continues to laugh through gritted teeth. Ringleader ORDERS Akuma to END IT. Akuma reaches down, and gets Venar in a fireman’s carry! GORRILLA PRESS! DEMONIC ASCENSION! IT’S OVER!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE…
Foot on the rope.
VENAR GOT A FOOT ON THE ROPE! THIS MATCH WILL CONTINUE!
Maverick and Gordon both applaud from the curtain, Phoenix is still texting on his phone and reading a book? Akuma looks at his master, both confused and frustrated. The Ringleader thinks for a moment, and then orders him to try again. Akuma picks up Venar, and shoves his head between his legs! ALL’S END COMING UP!
UP!
AND!
DOWN!
…
VENAR HAS AKUMA LOCKED IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE!
ROB MARTINEZ: What a counter! Venar grabbed Akuma’s arm and now has that deadly triangle choke locked in! Akuma is fading!
COREY TAYLOR: I just want this impossible match to END already!
Akuma, flailing on his feet, tries to fight through the pain, but he’s fading fast! He does the only thing he knows how to. COMPLETES THE MOVE! He SLAMS Venar down to the mat, but he’s not pinning! He’s still trying to catch his breath! Venar chuckles through gritted teeth, but somehow finds his feet… AKUMA WITH A SPEAR! But… Akuma is out?
AKUMA IS OUT!
VENAR GOT THAT STEEL CHAIR UP AT THE LAST SECOND!
ROB MARTINEZ: Akuma is OUT! Now’s your chance, kid! Finish that monster once and for all!
Venar, feeling that spear a LOT, somehow climbs to the top turnbuckle. Akuma’s a bit far away, but Venar doesn’t care. He FLIES ANYWAY.
SPREAD…
MY…
WINGS!
CONNECTS!
Venar makes the cover!
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
JENNY JERSEY: Ladies and gentlemen! Here is your winner! “FALCON”! JACOB! VENAR!
Larry Gordon smiles triumphantly from the aisle as Johnny Maverick cheers for his friend and tag team partner. Venar, somehow, finds his feet and stands on his own power, blood dripping from his chest, back and face. Jimmy Johnson raises Venar’s hand in victory as Akuma slowly finds his own feet, his master and Ringleader climbing into the ring to assist him.
LARRY GORDON: Well, Ringleader, there you have it. You’re done.
The Ringleader tries to plead to the commissioner…
LARRY GORDON: If I ever see you, or your client in a REBEL Pro ring or arena again, I will personally have you both arrested. You do understand? Security, please escort these two sideshow freaks out of my arena.
Ten, fifteen, maybe twenty security officials, BIG security officials, make their way down to the ring as Venar walks up the aisle. Venar shakes Gordon’s hand, collects his World tag belt, and leaves with his partner as security places handcuffs on Akuma to lead him and his master out of the ring. For good.
Commercial for Jacob, because we here recording this thank him for his contribution.
As Chet Whetleson makes his way to the ring he steps inside and grabs the microphone. He looks around a moment at the completely empty arena, ignoring this fact he puts the microphone to his lips anyways.
CHET WHETLESON: I’ve been informed by Larry Gordon that this match is now a Loser Leaves Rebel Pro match!
ROB MARTINEZ: What the? A Loser leaves Rebel Pro match? Right here? Right now?
COREY TAYLOR: I don’t know! Maybe we should try out a replay feature incase you didn’t hear Chet the first time?
ROB MARTINEZ: Right. Right.
JENNY JERSEY: Ahem… The following match is schedueled for one fall and will now be a Loser Leaves Rebel Pro Match! Introducing first!
“The Kenyan King” by The Kenyan Bomas hits up in the speakers as from the back, escorted by Damien Alexander, comes Kongo to a huge amount of nothing. Kongo looks around, but the nothing doesn’t seem to bother him at all as it is what he is used to.
JENNY JERSEY: Making his way to the ring standing at seven feet two inches and weighing three hundred and sixty pounds, accompanied to the ring by Damien Alexander… “THE KENYAN KING” KONGO!
Kongo steps flat footed up onto the apron before stepping over the top rope and into the squared circle.
ROB MARTINEZ: Kongo has had a run of bad luck recently. I’m betting he’s hoping to turn a new corner and change that luck here tonight against the newcomer to Rebel.
COREY TAYLOR: Right. I’m just not sure he realizes who he is facing in that newcomer.
Suddenly “Duel of the Fates” by John Williams hits on the speakers.
JENNY JERSEY: And his opponent! Standing in at five feet and nine inches tall, and weighing one hundred and sixty pounds. Accompanied to the ring by Simon Kalis! He is… REAVER!
The camera looks at the entrance way a moment in shock as Reaver steps out, with his chilling master Simon Kalis. Both men make their way to the ring. They stop at the apron and Reaver turns around to face Simon Kalis. Reaver gets on one knee, clasps his hands and says a prayer before his Master. Kalis puts his hand under Reaver’s chin and lifts his head up, nodding with approval and making odd hand motions as if to bless Reaver. Reaver gets to his feet and slides into the ring now.
ROB MARTINEZ: Reaver’s master looks like some kind of satanic priest. Not sure the fans watching on the internet are appreciating that very much.
COREY TAYLOR: Forget that! Look at the difference in these two men!
Reaver tilts his head all the way back and looks up at the giant man Kongo before him. On the outside Simon Kalis drops his black robe and hood and reveals he’s wearing a “Stay 2nd Amendment” t-shirt, as he adjusts the firearm tucked into his belt he points at Damien Alexander to warn him from interfering.
DING DING
Reaver doesn’t even need to drop to his knees, he low blows Kongo right off the bat! Kongo winces in pain and leans forward holding his crotch in pain. Reaver bounces off the ropes and hits him with a spinning heel kick as he comes flying back using the ropes for momentum. Kongo stumbles back but the big man is still on his feet. Kalis throws Reaver a stapler from the outside of the ring and Reaver catches it. He smashes it on Kongo’s head and begins stapling his forehead repeatedly to the cheers of Simon! Damien looks at Simon on the outside with disgust, but Kalis merely smirks and points back at the golden desert eagle mark VII on his waist.
ROB MARTINEZ: Is he allowed to have a gun? What if he gives it to Reaver?
COREY TAYLOR: I don’t know. Suffering suckatash! Let’s check the rules book!
ROB MARTINEZ: You don’t need to be so patronizing sometimes, Corey.
Reaver smashes the stapler one more time across Kongo’s head and it explodes on impact with such force, driving a number of small staples into both Kongo’s head and Reaver’s hand. Reaver jumps onto the top rope and balances himself before leaping off and landing onto Kongo’s shoulders. Kongo stumbles in the ring as Reaver rips the staples out and begins bashing his head with a closed fist. Reaver uses his legs to pull Kongo’s arms ups. Reaver grabs the arms, pulls them back up and then uses his body weight to drive Kongo down and into the canvas. Simon applauds the masterful move that finally brings the big man down.
ROB MARTINEZ: I’ll admit, that was pretty awesome.
COREY TAYLOR: It was like a facebuster but with an already busted face. Kudos to the new guy.
Kalis throws a chair into the ring he got from ringside and Damien Alexander is not pleased. Reaver picks up the chair and smashes it over Kongo’s face as he tries to get up! One shot! Two shots! Three shots! FOUR SHOTS! FIVE SHOTS! The chair is mangled and a mess and Reaver throws it to Kongo who catches it, only to get superkicked and have it smash again against his face. Kongo stumbles in the ring unaware of his surroundings as Reaver jumps to the outside apron and then springboards himself back into the ring, landing a suicide plancha on Kongo. Kongo hits the canvas hard as Kalis rummages underneath the ring. Kalis finds a brick and slides it into the ring toward Reaver. Kongo actually grabs it and attempts to smash Reaver’s head but fails. Reaver instead dodges it quickly and locks in a wrist lock of doom on Kongo. Reaver stomps his foot and sends Kongo into the ropes. Reaver quickly grabs the brick and as Kongo comes running back, Reaver throws himself into the air and smashes the brick over Kongo’s head. Kongo hits the canvas HARD as the brick shatters over his face, leaving him completely bloodied at this point.
ROB MARTINEZ: This isn’t looking good for Kongo at this point.
COREY TAYLOR: No, I’d say if he planned on getting his ass handed to him on a platter he’s doing a fantastic job of this!
Damien Alexander seems to have had enough of Simon’s interferences and tries to approach him. Kalis however chucks in a 2×4 piece of wood to Reaver and begins singing “Oops! I Did It Again!” by Britney Spears to the flabergasted Damien Alexander while pointing to his Desert Eagle.
SIMON KALIS: OOPS! I did it again! I played with your boy! Got his face mashed up bad! I’m NOT… THAT… Innocent!
Simon laugh and applauds as Kalis sings. Reaver holds the 2×4 and swings it like a baseball bat at Kongo as he gets to his feet. Reaver smashes it again over Kongo’s face as he’s down on the canvas and shatters this 2×4 over his head now. Reaver hits an asai moonsault for good measure and goes for the cover! Jimmy Johnson drops for the count!
ONE!
TWO!!
THR-NO!
Reaver gets up at Kalis’ order and lets go of the pin. Reaver gets to his feet and hits a corkscrew leg drop on Kongo to the amazement of the fans watching at home. Reaver is back up and heads to the top rope. He comes flying off with a shooting star press and lands it cleanly on Kongo. Reaver looks up at his Master, and Simon motions Reaver to end things.
COREY TAYLOR: This kid follows orders pretty good! I gotta get me a servant apprentice like that!
ROB MARTINEZ: You mean a house maid?
COREY TAYLOR: I guess. May as well. Someone is going to need to clean up this mess.
Reaver stands back and bows. Kongo gets to his feet and seems very angry for obvious reasons as he wipes the blood from his face. Reaver sees this and heads to the ropes as Kongo charges. Reaver hits the top rope, springboards himself off, corkscrews through the air and puts his leg out and lands a massive superkick to the chin of Kongo. Kongo’s head tilts up,
he spins and then hits the canvas. Reaver stomps his foot down on Kongo, slaps his chest and gives out the fascist salute as Jimmy Johnson goes to count Reaver’s foot over Kongo.
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
DING DING DING!
ROB MARTINEZ: Wow! What an upset! What a one sided match! Reaver with the convincing victory here tonight, folks! And Kongo is GONE from Rebel Pro!
COREY TAYLOR: Ouch. This is going to sting.
“Duel of the Fates” hits once more as Reaver has his arm raised.
JENNY JERSEY: The winner of this match… REAVER!
Reaver falls to one knee and reaches for a small pouch on his waist. He withdraws a single white feather and dabs Kongo’s blood onto it. He gets to his feet and slides out of the ring. He stands before his master Simon Kalis and presents him with the bloody feather as a sign of victory. Kalis nods and smiles as he raises Reaver’s hand once again and points to his apprentice. Kongo remains in the ring, down and out.
ROB MARTINEZ: Impressive start to the young apprentice.
COREY TAYLOR: Is this a sign of things to come?
ROB MARTINEZ: Either way, goodbye Kongo!
** Backstage **
We find the former REBEL Tag Team Champions, Cash N’ Ass, standing in a hallway before a large REBEL banner. Both men are in ring gear, odd considering that they’re not wrestling tonight but eh. Tittylover stands behind Casino, smiling and smoking a dubious smelling ‘cigarette.’ Casino is sneering into the camera, arms folded across his chest and an evil glint in his eyes.
CASINO: So last week the team of The Juggernauts beat us for the Tag Titles. I’d say congrats, but it took them three tries to beat us. If you want to stand there and say that’s you’re a better team then by all means do so. I encourage you to continue to live in your fantasy world. It wasn’t talent that beat us. It wasn’t better athletes that beat us. The odds beat us. You got over on us ONCE fellas. Next time? We’ll take back the belts and once again show REBEL that you’re a bunch of ass grabbing morons.
TITTYLOVER: (shouting) Can’t hold the black men down n***as!!!
CASINO: Now we have this mook who walks his fat ass in this arena and says that this company is garbage. What was his name? Andy? Fat Andy?
TITTYLOVER: I think it’s short for ‘Dick.’ As in he has a short….
CASINO: Yeah I get it. Anyway, Andy, you and your boy sure talk tough when no one is around. You know I had my very first match here in Florida. While it’s no Las Vegas nor even Atlanta, it has it’s charms. Or did before BP oil fucked it up.
TITTYLOVER: Damn crackers.
CASINO: You want to make a statement? Take a look at me you pudgy bastard. I don’t jump at shadows. I fear no one nor anything.
TITTYLOVER: Except for that divorce settlement you’re still fighting….
CASINO: (to Tittylover) Shush. (to the camera) You wanna be all Bill Bad Ass in MY company? Well come find me my friend. We’ll see if a ‘Phoenix’ can really rise from the ashes.
Casino turns and walks off camera. Tittylover smiles at us. His gold tooth gleaming.
TITTYLOVER: The end is coming. The Riders Of The Tit-Pocolypse are coming….Bwhahahahahahahaha!!!!!
CASINO: (off screen) Hey! Get over here!
TITTYLOVER: Everything you know will end suckas. Embrace change. The Blackhouse will be in full effect!
‘The Mad Pimp’ turns and eases off screen.
Commercial for Brion’s Babes… just because they are imaginary doesn’t mean he doesn’t love them the same.
We come back from commercial break, all four men are already in the ring. Marcus Marion ismaking sure to walk around the ring showing each man in there his Rebel Pro World Heavyweight Title before handing it over the top rope to his valet Nicole Rhodes.
DING DING
The bell sounds and Marion goes right after Chad while Case is intent on denting in Matthew’s body with a few stiff punches and kicks. Matthew batters back with a roundhouse forearm shot sending Case stumbling backwards towards Marion. Marcus “accidentally” nails Case in the back of the skull with his elbow as he throws a left fist into Chad’s jaw. Chad catches the wrist, dropping down and flipping Marion over onto his back. Chad doesn’t waste a second as he nails a perfect standing shooting star press.
ROB MARTINEZ: Chad Kurtis with a standing shooting star!
COREY TAYLOR: Too little, too late.
ROB MARTINEZ: The match just started.
Phoenix is sitting in his throne like chair, playing something on his Apple IPhone, lucky bastard with the IPhone. Case shuffles forward from the elbow to the back of his head, Matthew lifts hiim up in a bearhug, but Case with a bell clap causes Matthew to drop the wear down move. Case drops to his knees, shoving forward with his shoulder sending Matthew into the corner. Case heads in harder with his shoulder into Matthew’s gut, ramming it in repeatedly. Case climbs up top and begins pounding down with right fists as Jimmy Johnson looks on.
ROB MARTINEZ: No crowd to count.
COREY TAYLOR: Doesn’t lessen the pain though.
Matthew shoves Case off, right into a “accidental” reverse neckbreaker from Marcus Marion. Chad lays on the canvas holding at his midsection.
ROB MARTINEZ: Chad still hurting after that missed Best Moonsault Ever.
COREY TAYLOR: For the first time, it lived up to its name.
Marion lifts Chad up, chop to the chest. Phoenix twirls a finger in the air, as though he doesn’t care; in fact he probably doesn’t care. Opening a pizza box, he removes a slice of pepperoni pizza and takes a bite before swigging down some chocolatey Yoo Hoo goodness. Marion lifts Chad up to the top turnbuckle, but here comes Matthew. Case trips him and the big man falls into the ropes; causing Marion to crotch himself on the top turnbuckle. Marion falls down, his legs trapped in the corner as he hangs in a Tree of Woe in the corner.
COREY TAYLOR: Johnson stop this match! The Champion is in trouble!
ROB MARTINEZ: And what if it were Chad in the same predicament?
COREY TAYLOR: You aren’t dumb, if it were Chad; I simply wouldn’t care.
Matthew stomps on the midsection of Marion as Chad gathers his bearings on the top turnbuckle. “The Show” leaps from the top, over his big brother, to slamm a missile dropkick right into Case’s chest sending him rolling across the ring. Matthew looks to his brother as he gets to his feet, nodding his approval, they slap hands. Chad runs, leaping into the air to land on Marion.
REVERSE BRONCO BUSTER!
Marion is still trapped in the corner as Chad and Matthew go after the #1 Contender to the Rebel Pro Heavyweight Championship. Matthew lifts him onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry as Chad bounces off the ropes. Case manages to somehow twist around bringing Matthew down with a tornado DDT and causing Chad to miss the leg drop from the top rope. Chad’s leg and butt slam into the canvas, but Justin is up quickly hitting the ropes. Somehow, he steps on Marion’s face as he rushes forward, but Chad falls down to miss the lifted knee. Justin turns around, like a bull in the matador ring. Chad is spinning up to his feet, turning to face Case.
ROB MARTINEZ: Case is looking to hurt someone here, I think anyone will do.
COREY TAYLOR: Did you see that cheap shot that eh took on Marion?!
Case charges at Chad, but The Show ducks under the outstretched arm, Case “accidentally” slams a boot into Marion’s midsection to stop his charge into the corner. Marion falls out of the corner behind Justin. Marion rolls up to his knees, clutching at his midsection. Case and Chad lock up center ring, but here comes big Matthew. Nicole slides a chair into the ring, Marion sets it up.
ROB MARTINEZ: Matthew’s face is slammed right onto the chair’s seat!
COREY TAYLOR: And Lyndsey is going right after Nicole here! How dare she!
Marion lifts Matthew up to a kneeling and for no other reason than he can, he grinds his thumbs and knuckles into Matthew’s eyes. Marion lifts his hand up in the air, spits in it and…
COREY TAYLOR: Slap that bitch Marcus!
Matthew holds his hand to his cheek, where the slap connected, anger boiling off of him in waves. Marion looks down, notices Nicole in trouble and begins to rapidly beg off. Marion backs out of the way of Matthew. Marion flips out of the ring, down beside Nicole who still has the World Title. Marion taps her on the shoulder and the two quickly beat a retreat.
ROB MARTINEZ: Where is that coward going?!
COREY TAYLOR: In the words of the South, he’s getting the Heck outta Dodge!
Justin watches as Marcus retreats through the curtain, he can’t believe it. He turns around.
STEEL CHAIR RIGHT TO THE FACE!
Case falls backwards, blood pouring from the slice on his forehead. He falls right into the waiting arms of Chad Kurtis.
ROB MARTINEZ: Bluegrass Breeze!
Chad lifts Justin up, tucking his head between his legs.
ROB MARTINEZ: CK Finale!
Case is left to the wolves! He has no chance against Matthew and Chad, “The Show” makes the cover as Matthew places a boot on Justin’s face for good measure. Both Matthew and Lyndsey stare at the curtain, this is far from over between him and Marcus.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING
JENNY JERSEY: Winners of the match… Chad and Matthew Kurtis… The Original Bluegrass Mafia!
The Phoenix doesn’t care, he pays no attention to the proceedings, choosing to send a text on his phone and munch on pepperoni pizza.
We head to a commercial break for Bob’s Fish and Tackle, we’ve got everything that you need.
“House of the Rising Sun” by The Animals hits the PA and out from the back steps Grandpa Gary! He shuffles out with a wide grin and yells, ‘BACON!!’ and then realizes that the arena is empty. With a confused look on his face, he makes his way down to the ring.
ROB MARTINEZ: Well here comes Grandpa Gary, a former Aggression Champion in his own right for this important match.
COREY TAYLOR: Where the hell did Jersey go?
ROB MARTINEZ: She bailed. Something about getting a manicure.
COREY TAYLOR: Pfft woman. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t sell ‘em on EBay.
“Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd replaces the Animals on the PA and the REBEL Aggression Champion steps out from the back. He looks out over the empty arena and shakes his head. The Aggression belt is draped over his shoulder and he makes his way towards the ring.
ROB MARTINEZ: And the REBEL Aggression Champion, “The Confederate Copperhead” J.T. Whiplash now making his way to the ring!
COREY TAYLOR: Is this match sponsored by the AARP or something? Both of these guys qualify for the seniors discount at the IHop.
Referee Jimmy Johnson is in the ring and takes the belt from Whiplash and hands it off to a ringside official. Johnson makes sure both men are ready and calls for the bell!
COREY TAYLOR: Why are we even having a show with no fans?
ROB MARTINEZ: Feel free to leave too.
COREY TAYLOR: Naw I’m good.
The two men lock up in the center of the ring. Side headlock from Whiplash. Whiplash switches it to a reverse hammerlock and Gary pulls himself to the ropes to cause a break. Whiplash backs off and Gary shouts, ‘Bacon’ to the empty building. Again they tie up and this time it’s Gary who slaps on a side headlock. Whiplash lands a pair of forearm shots to the ribs of Gary but the old codger maintains his grip. Whiplash backs Gary against the ropes and shoots him off. Gary rebounds off the opposite ropes and gets dropped by a shoulder block from Whiplash! With surprising agility, Gary scrambles to his feet and gets taken over in a deep arm drag! Whiplash locks in an arm bar and the referee is in position asking if Gary wants to give it up. Gary shakes his head ‘No’ and manages to roll through the arm bar and pull himself to his feet. Gary puts a foot through the ropes and Whiplash has to release the arm bar.
ROB MARTINEZ: A little feeling out process here.
COREY TAYLOR: Ugh, I’m gonna go get a Coke. I’ll be right back.
Whiplash takes a step towards Gary and is met with a chop across the chest. Another chop from Gary! Gary shout ‘BACON’ in the face of Whiplash. Stiff right hand from Whiplash drops Gary to the mat! Whiplash pulls gary off the mat, shoots him into the ropes and connects with a high backdrop onto the challenger! Gary hits hard and slowly gets up holding his hip. A dropkick from Whiplash puts Gary back onto the mat and the challenger rolls to the outside. Whiplash wastes no time in rolling to the outside as well and clubs Gary from behind with a double sledge that lands between his shoulder blades. Gary drops to his knees and Whiplash stands behind him and rains down several hard right hands to the head of the senior citizen. Johnson is outside trying to get the action back into the ring but he’s ignored. Whiplash pulls Gary to his feet and goes to whip Gary into the guard rails but Gary reverses it! Whiplash smacks ribs first into the guard rails! Gary stumbles over to a stunned Whiplash and lays into him with a chop across the chest!
ROB MARTINEZ: Gary needs to take advantage of this opening if he hopes to win!
Another chop from Gary and Whiplash shoves the challenger away. Gary advances on Whiplash and takes a boot to the gut! Back elbow to the face from Whiplash! The ‘Confederate Copperhead’ hooks Gary and delivers a brutal suplex onto the hard floor! Gary is writhing in pain holding his hip as Whiplash gets back to his feet. Whiplash reaches over the guard rails and picks up an empty chair. He folds it up, waits for Gary to get to his feet and cracks the chair across the back of the older man! Gary screams and rolls into the ring, followed closely by Whiplash who is still holding the chair. Whiplash is up first and he drops the chair to the mat. Gary is pulled to his feet and Whiplash hooks him into a suplex position. Gary blocks it! Whiplash again tries for a suplex and again it’s blocked! Gary is able to spin himself around and shocks Whiplash by countering the suplex attempt into a DDT! Gary is next to the chair and he reaches out and grabs it as Whiplash is pulling himself back to his feet. Gary uses the ring ropes to help himself up and he watches as Whiplash turns to face him. Chair shot to the skull from Gary! Whiplash staggers on wobbly legs and takes another shot to the cranium from the chair! Whiplash drops to the mat holding his head and Gary holds the dented chair high above his head.
ROB MARTINEZ: Gary is breaking out the hardcore and is back in this match with a vengance!
Gary tosses the chair out of the ring and waits as Whiplash struggles back up to his feet. Claw from Gary! Grandpa gary has locked in a claw of the dazed Whiplash! The challenger positions himself between the champ and the ropes as Whiplash continues to fight the claw. Whiplash counters the claw into a side suplex! Whiplash goes for a cover but Gary gets a shoulder up at two! Whiplash rests for a moment on his knees before getting up and pulling Gary to his feet. Gary gets hooked and takes a slingshot suplex from Whiplash! The Champ floats over into another cover and again Gary somehow gets a shoulder up at 2 & 3/4ths! Gary is dragged to his feet and shot into the ropes. Thez press from Whiplash! The Champ follows up with a flurry of right hands to the challenger! Whiplash pulls off Gary and heads to the closest corner climbing up to the second turnbuckle. Gary slowly gets up and takes a flying lariat from the champ! Legdrop from Whiplash! A cover from the champ nets a count of two as somehow, someway Gary gets a shoulder up!
ROB MARTINEZ: Gary is still in this! Amazing! He’s showing Whiplash that he won’t go quietly!
Whiplash smiles in admiration at Gary and then rolls out of the ring. The Aggression Champion reaches under the ring and pulls out a table! As Gary is struggling to get to his feet, Whiplash slides the table into the ring and climbs in after it. Whiplash sets the table up, turns and pulls Gary to his feet. Hard right hand from Whiplash and Gary flops onto the table. Whiplash steps out onto the ring apron and starts his climb to the top.
ROB MARTINEZ: Whiplash setting up for his Rebel Yell and….Hey!
From the back runs the REBEL World Champion, Marcus Marion! Whiplash never sees him until the World Champ climbs up onto the ring apron and grabs the leg of The Aggression Champ! Whiplash tries to kick Marion away but Marcus uses his World Championship belt to crack ‘The Confederate Copperhead’ across the skull! Marcus shoves Whiplash off the top rope! Whiplash lands throat first across the top rope and hs head snaps back! Marcus drops off the ring apron and is smiling as Gary slides off the table and catches a dazed and hurting Whiplash with his 60 Year Old Stunner! Gary basically falls on top of Whiplash as the referee makes the fatal three count!
ROB MARTINEZ: That son of a….Marcus Marion just cost JT Whiplash the Aggression Championship!
Marcus slides into the ring, grabs Gary who has just been handed the coveted Aggression Championship and throws him out of the ring! Marcus stands over an unmoving Whiplash and dangles the World Title only inches from his face.
ROB MARTINEZ: What a disgusting sight! Mark my words these two will engage in a knock down fall out war at some point!
COREY TAYLOR: Hey I’m back. Miss anything?
The camera pans over to show Andy and Phoenix getting up from their seats and leaving. Both men are deep in discussion about something and neither man is paying attention to the spectacle in the ring.
Marcus rolls out of the ring, drapes the World Title over his shoulder and smiles as he leaves.
Whiplash slowly sets up, his head bleeding, no doubt from the belt shot to the head, and he has a look of fury on his face.
The war has just begun.
Rebel Pro logo…. fad.
