Unpleasantness 1-14-2011

“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers as from the back to open off the first show of 2011 is none other than Rebel Pro’s Owner Larry Gordon. As he makes his way down to the ring, he slaps the fans’ hands before stepping through the ropes and into the ring where he pulls a microphone from his back pocket.

“Howdy fans!”

The fans give him a big North Carolina welcome as he waits.

“Welcome to the first Rebel Pro event of 2011! The year of Rebel Pro!”

The fans give him another round.

“Now I know most of you may not trust me anymore, but let me assure you that I am here to stay and I did what I did inorder to show The Phoenix that just because he is one of the most celebrated individuals in Wrestling history that he can’t walk all over us because we are a regional promotion.”

Gordon looks around as fans boo The Phoenix.

“Because we are the best damn regional promotion in the world and nobody can say differently nor prove us wrong!”

The fans roar at that.

“And what better way to introduce you all to the best announce team, because both are former Rebel Pro Champions, both have shed blood inside this ring, and are two of the toughest people to ever step foot inside of a Rebel Pro ring… or any damn ring for that matter!”

He waits until…

“Alcohol hits up in the speakers and the crowd immediately begin to boo for this hated man in Rebel Pro history.

“Introducing one half of the Rebel Pro Announce team, he is a former two time Rebel Pro World Champion, Global Champion in PWA, and all around unpleasant guy…”

Bubba J flips him the bird before sitting down at the announce table.

“The Ragin’ Redneck… Bubba J!”

The fans do decide to give him some applause because they know from past experience that he is tough as nails.

“And now for his Announce Tag Team partner…”

“Heavy Metal Machine” hits up and the crowd roar their approval, because they know that if anyone can keep The Ragin’ Redneck in line it will be this man.

“I give you multiple time Champion here in Rebel Pro, once known as the Bearded Bastard, former member of FTC(boo), known enemy of the Extreme Elite(cheer), and Rebel Icon… Mikey Massacre!”

Mikey waves to the crowd before sitting down beside Bubba J at the announce booth.

BubbaJ: Bout damn time, you took plenty of it getting down here.

Mikey Massacre: Bubba J… shut up.

Bubba J: Damn, right on top of it ain’t ya Mikey boy?

Mikey Massacre: Lets get into our first match. Fans, Jenny is ready to announce the combatents.

The fans buzz in anticipation of the first match up of the night, uber excited for some epicacious REBEL Pro action. Because no music starts, the fans barely even notice the two strangely dressed individuals walk through the curtain and head for the ring. Darth Zwart, dressed in what appears to be a combination of three or four different science fiction costumes, followed closely by David Fiore, walks to the ring with a strange light in his eyes.

JENNY JERSEY: Making his way to the ring! From Parts Unknown, weighing in at three hundred thirty one pounds… DARTH ZWART!

The massive Darth Zwart stalks his way to the ring as the fans around ringside just gawk at him. Soon, the massive Sith Lord finds his way into the ring and some music starts.

Bubba J: That right there is one dumb sumbitch.

Mikey Massacre: You calling someone dumb is like saying the kettle is black.

Bubba J: Huh?

Mikey Massacre: Exactly.

“I Hear the Voices” by Uriah Heep hits and the fans pop HUGE! Bobby Lee bursts out of the curtain looking a little suspicious at the massive cheering crowd.

JENNY JERSEY: And introducing his opponent! From Miller’s Trailer Park, weighing in at two hundred forty pounds! BOBBY LEE!

Bobby Lee climbs into the ring and stares wildly at the massive Darth Zwart, who is currently being helped out of his sci-fi attire by his manager, David Fiore. Once the massive Sith Lord is down to his all black attire and balaclava, referee Jimmy Johnson calls for the bell.

Bubba J: Here we go with the match up.

Mikey Massacre: Darth Zwart looks to both out weigh and be much taller than Bobby Lee by a ton.

For a few moments, Darth Zwart just stands there glaring through his ski mask at the jittery Bobby Lee as Jimmy Johnson tries to convince the two opposing sides to fight. Fiore laughs on the outside as Bobby Lee steps hesitantly toward his opponent. Bobby Lee gets within arm’s reach of Zwart, but Zwart doesn’t even flinch. Bobby stares up at him for a moment or two more, and then throws an ELBOW at the monster! The blow connects solidly with the big man’s chest but he doesn’t even move! Lee cowers back, expecting a counter, but none comes! The big man just stands as he has been, and glares at Bobby Lee! Bobby Lee inches closer, becoming more and more confident, and delivers ANOTHER elbow followed by two swift leg kicks! Bobby Lee backs off again, and Zwart doesn’t even flinch! A third time, Bobby Lee advances on his enigmatic, gigantic opponent, and SPRINGBOARDS off the ropes for a flying elbow–CAUGHT. ZWART hooks the leg of Bobby Lee and runs to center ring, hitting a DANGEROUSLY quick running single-leg POWERSLAM!

Bubba J: Damn what a powerslam!

Mikey Massacre: I was beginning to wonder if he was just made of concrete. Are you opening a beer?

Bubba J: Gordon said nothing about me not drinking on the job. Got these down at Hardcore Drinking where you can get a Bud Light 6-pack for only $6.50 while supplies last.

Mikey Massacre: Around you… that isn’t long.

Bobby Lee arches his back in pain as David Fiore laughs from the outside. Zwart hooks Bobby and picks him up, sending a couple of STIFF punches to his head before irish whipping him into the corner with TREMENDOUS power! Bobby Lee BOUNCES off the turnbuckle and slams against the mat, and he continues to favor that lower back! Zwart rolls Bobby over for an early cover.

ONE!

TWO!

Bubba J: Not even close Mikey.

Mikey Massacre: That was nearly three.

Bubba J: I mean I couldn’t drink a whole cooler of beer in one night, it’d take at least three and by then we’d get another shipment in.

And a BALLSY kick out by Bobby Lee at two and a half keeps this match going! Zwart stands, taking the injured Bobby Lee with him. Zwart whips Bobby into the ropes and hits him on the rebound with a CLOTHESLINE, NO ducked by the returning Bobby Lee! Bobby hits the opposite ropes and returns into a BACK BODY DROP, NO Bobby Lee rolls over the back of the monster and hits the ropes again! On the rebound, Bobby Lee returns, looking to do some damage, TAKES A HUGE BIG BOOT FROM THE MONSTER THAT TAKES HIM DOWN! Bobby is seeing stars — or… spaceships… — as Darth Zwart picks him up again, to nail him with a SICKENING pump handle slam! The lower back of Bobby Lee is beginning to turn REALLY red now! Smelling blood, Darth Zwart glares down at the fallen Bobby Lee with thirst for blood in his eyes.
Bubba J: Doesn’t look too good for Bobby Lee, I think that big sumbitch is a cannibal.

Mikey Massacre: Why you say that.

Bubba J: Cause he’s fixing to eat Bobby’s ass for lunch.

“LET’S GO VADER!” *clap clap clapclapclap* “LET’S GO VADER!” *clap clap clapclapclap*

Various crowd members laughing their asses off at this point are yelling things like “USE THE FORCE, DUDE!” and “CUT OFF HIS HAND!” or “LUKE, I’M YOUR FATHER!” along with “I’LL NEVER RULE THE UNIVERSE WITH YOU!” Yeah. They’re really having fun with this guy.

Mikey Massacre: They are taunting the big man.

Bubba J: I could whoop his ass and just might given the chance. Hey Mikey, want a beer? I’m not gonna give you one just wondering if you want one or not.

Zwart picks up Bobby Lee and hooks him for a SUPLEX. No… IT’S THE JACK HAMMER! THE DARK SIDE CONNECTS! Darth Zwart goes for the cover, Bobby Lee tries to wriggle out, but he’s got nothing left!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

JENNY JERSEY: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your WINNER! DARTH ZWART!

And the massive, terrifying, ridiculously-dressed Sith Lord Darth Zwart picks up a win in his debut here tonight! The fans applaud, having been more amused by this match up than anything else. Bobby Lee is helped up by Jimmy Johnson and the fans give him a nice ovation for a strong showing as well.
Bubba J: Darth Fart just won his first match here in handily fashion.

Mikey Massacre: Don’t you mean he won the match handily?

Bubba J: Ain’t that what I said?

~Commercial for Hardcore Drinking~

Jenny Jersey: Now its time for the Rebel Pro Tag Team Championship matchup…

“Oddaties” by ICP hits over the sound systems and there’s a mixed reaction from the crowd, with the cheers drowning out some of the booing going in the crowd. Shut Down and The Freak step out and begin handing out their gifts to the fans along front row. A happy fan holds up his “Bluegas” t-shirt, which shows Matthew Kurtis farting all over Jonathan Kurtis.

Bubba J: Got to get me one of those.

Mikey Massacre: Crude, but that is The Freak Show.

Shut Down and Freak Show stand in the ring now, turning their attention towards the entrance ramp. The Bluegrass Mafia 2.0 step out and get a huge pop from the crowd, all cheers, all sorts of cameras flashing as the fans snap up pictures of the REBEL Pro Tag Team Champions. Matthew and Jonothan quickly slide into the ring after handing off the tag titles and an all out brawl erupts!

DING DING DING

Jonothan charges Shut Down into the corner, and hits a rising knee into his gut. Freak hip tosses Matthew to the canvas and follows it up with a sturdy elbow drop to Matthew. Shut Down fights back and hits a roaring elbow to Jonothans face, sending one half of the tag champs staggering backwards. Shut Down spears Jonothan to the canvas as Matthew gets to his feet and knife edge chops Freak. Freak responds with an elbow to the head then a quick Russian leg sweep taking both men to the canvas. Jonothan hits an enziguri kick on Shut Down and turns his attention to his brother and Freak. He quickly rushes over and baseball slides right into The Freak’s face, sending him away from Matthew. Shut Down is on it as he tackles Matthew and Jonothan to the canvas as they get to their feet. The Bluegrass Mafia seem off their game somewhat as they try to regroup. The Freak and Shut Down now stand across from them, catching their breath.

Mikey Massacre: J-Kurt and Matthew seem to have something on their minds here tonight.

Bubba J: Well, they are pansies just like their over rated brother “The Blow” Chad Kurtis.

All four men rush each other. Shut Down applies a wristlock to Matthew Kurtis while Jonothan Kurtis quickly hits a double underhook DDT on The Freak that mesmerizes the crowd. Shut Down is reversed and Matthew locks in a waistlock on him as The Freak rolls to dodge a stomp down kick from Jonothan. The Freak uses the ropes to pull himself back to his feet quickly and headbutts Jonothan as he comes at him. Shut Down is taken down as Matthew Kurtis plants him with a belly to back suplex, slamming Shut Down onto the back of his head and neck in devastating fashion.

Mikey Massacre: Damn what a shot from the big Matthew Kurtis.

Bubba J: How is it that there are two similar brothers in Chad and J-kurt, both suck and are shrimpy, but then you get this big tall turd Matthew? Honestly… I think mama Kurtis is a bit of a who….

Mikey Massacre: Look out there.

Jonothan grapples with The Freak near the ropes and whips him across the ring. The Freak comes back as he bounces off the ropes at the opposite end and hits a stunning dropkick on Jonothan Kurtis! Jonothan is vaulted out of the ring to the outside as Shut Down is getting to his feet. Matthew Kurtis goes after The Freak but Shut Down quickly grabs him from behind, puts him into a Full Nelson then suplexes him in return back to the canvas. The Freak gets out onto the apron and hits a leg drop onto Jonothan on the outside of the ring as Shut Down stomps down Matthew in the ring. On the outside The Freak picks Jonothan up and smashes his face against the railing seperating the fans from the action. Some fans smack The Freak and Jonothan on their backs as Freak smashes Jonothan again into the railing. Jonothan fights back, sending out an elbow into Freak’s mid section before smashing his face onto the railing. Jonothan whips The Freak into the corner post and Freak flips as he hits it head on with his shoulder. Matthew trips up Shut Down inside the ring and quickly gets to his feet to begin stomping down on Shut Down now.

Bubba J: Whoop his ass you little sumbitch!

Mikey Massacre: The fans may want to watch out slapping the wrestlers, in the heat of battle who knows what they could do out of reflex.

Shut Down grabs Matthews foot as it comes at him and pushes Matthew aside as Jonothan goes to work on The Freak on the outside. Jonothan follows it up with a quick elbow drop to the back of Freak’s head on the outside as Shut Down quickly gets to his feet and hits a vertical suplex on Matthew in the ring. He quickly hooks the legs!

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!

Bubba J: Close call there.

Mikey Massacre: Its as though Matthew and J-Kurt have their minds on something else here tonight.

Jonothan quickly slides into the ring and begins pummeling Shut Down in response to the pinfall attempt as Freak gathers himself outside the ring. Shut Down tries to block the shots from both Matthew and Jonothan as its all going on, while The Freak calmly slips into the ring. He rushes forward and grabs Matthew Kurtis, throwing a quick left hook then lifting him up and planting him down hard with a firemans carry slam. Shut Down gets to his feet as Jonothan tries to attack and Shut Down quickly dicks a running kick, and lifts Jonothan Kurtis up on his shoulders. The Freak heads to the top rope and comes off, landing onto Jonothan Kurtis and hitting a hurricanrana! Big Top Insanity! Matthew quickly tries to intervene but Shut Down clotheslines him right over the top rope as The Freak hooks the legs on Jonothan Kurtis!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Bubba J: New Tag Team Champs baby! Free drinks for me to celebrate.

Mikey Massacre: So generous.

Bubba J: I know, I know I’m a softy at heart.

Jenny Jersey: Winners of the match and NEEEEEEEEEEW Rebel Pro Tag Team Champions… The Freak Show!

The Freak and Shut Down raise the REBEL Pro Tag Team titles high and celebrate in the ring as the new champs!

~Commercial for Rebel Pro Aggression January 21, 2011~

“Animals” hits up in the speaker system and out from the back comes the extreme hardcore high flying Brazilian himself slapping hands on his way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: From Puerto Vehlo, Brazil, he stands at five feet six inches and weighs in at one hundred and eighty-four pounds… JAICE WILDS!

Jaice makes his way into the ring by flipping over the top rope and getting the crowd into this changed match.

“Cocky” by Kid Rock blares to life in the building and the fans go crazy for The Show! He walks from the back with the smile of confidence on his face. He looks out at the crowd and nods his appreciation.

JENNY JERSEY: He is from Paducah Kentucky but is now fighting out of Durham, NC, he stands at six feet three inches, weighs in at two hundred and thirty pounds; he is the man of a million nicknames, he is… THE SHOW

Bubba J: What a punk, too scared to ever fight me in a Rebel Pro ring, scared I was gonna mess his pretty little face up.

The crowd is going wild as Chad makes his way down to the ring where he slides in under the bottom rope. He holds his hands up high. then the right fist pump for victory. The crowd hasn’t sat down yet. He tosses the “The Show” retro shirt to a fan in the crowd before beginning to loosen up for the match.

DING DING

Mikey Massacre: Jaice is known for his extreme hardcore high flying, but Chad is known for his innovative offense, hard to create a game plan for either one.

Bubba J: I could kick either of their asses.

Collar and elbow tie up, Jaice with a float behind into a hammerlock. Chad rolls forward flipping Jaice over him onto the canvas right at the ropes. Jaice kips up to his feet-Shawn Michaels style and Chad seems impressed. Collar and elbow tie up again, Chad with a go behind into a hammerlock, into a side headlock, Jaice shoves Chad into the ropes. Chad rebounds, leap frogs over the lowered Jaice Wilds, hits the ropes and turns. Jaice is there with a clothesline sending Chad flipping over the ropes to the ring’s apron. Chad holds onto the top rope, slides in under Jaice, spin kips up to his feet, belly to back positon and lifts Jaice into the air. Jaice flips backwards landing on his feet, Chad turns to face him, both men nod at each other.

Mikey Massacre: Excellant moves so far from both men.

Bubba J: This is bori… holy shit!

Jaice just tied up with Chad Kurtis in an arm lock, Chad flipped over, twisted around and somehow hooked Jaice into an armlock of his own. Chad chains into a wristlock,jumps into the air over the outstretched arm, falls down on the crook of the elbow twisting the arm into a modified arm hammerlock using his legs. Jaice falls down to the canvas, pushes with his feet and grabs Chad’s head with his other arm and spins them both around sending Chad down to the canvas with a spinning DDT. Jaice kips back up to his feet holding his arm and trying to get the feeling back in that extremity. Jaice hits the ropes, baseball slide into the rolling Chad Kurtis, who manages to avoid most of the contact. Chad pulls himself up to his feet, ducks under a clothesline attempt and wraps himself on Jaice’s shoulders. Chad has his legs wrapped around Jaice’s right arm and his arms wrapped around his left arm. Jaice falls back as if for a Somoan drop, but Chad rolls on through, using Jaice’s momentum against him, and his head slams into the canvas. Jaice’s shoulders are on the canvas for a pin attempt.

One…

Two…

Jaice rolls over bridging until the pain on Chad’s neck is unbearable and he breaks the hold. Jaice wastes no time in springing to the top rope flipping backward with a moonsault that lands on the upturned knees of Chad Kurtis. Jaice grunts as all of his oxygen is forced out of his lungs and Chad is on his feet quickly pulling Jaice back up to his. Jaice whipped into the ropes, Chad follows behind. Jaice springs to the middle rope with a back elbow catching Chad in the forehead with the unprotected elbow. Chad falls to one knee. Jaice spins around nailing Chad in the same exact spot with a spinning heel kick. Chad falls to the canvas on his back.

One…

Two…

Th–NO! Chad manages to get a shoulder up before the count of three to keep the match alive one more second. Jaice seems frustrated, but who wouldn’t be frustrated at not being able to pin The Show?

Mikey Massacre: Jaice Wilds taking it to the veteran of Rebel Pro here in the match.

Bubba J: Where is the hardcore that Rebel Pro is known for? This is some boring shit, back in my day…

So far these two are keeping it clean inside the ring, no weapons being involved and the fans are loving the match never the less. Jaice nods as he whips Chad into the ropes. Chad jumps, both legs going through the top and middle rope. He grabs the top rope, spins around as he ducks under the top rope nailing Jaice in the midsection with an awesome looking kick that sends Jaice doubling over catching his breath. Chad spins back outside the ring, climbs to the top rope, on the ropes not using the turnbuckle, and flips over Jaice with a sunset flip and another cover here in this match.

One…

Two…

Thr–NO! Chad is forced off of the pin by Jaice’s authoritive kick-out. Chad is surprised, but for that matter so is Jaice.

Bubba J: Come on, bring out some damn weapons you pansies!

Mikey Massacre: The fans are loving this straight forward contest, weapons or not.

Chad with a forearm shot to Jaice’s forehead backing him into the corner.

Bubba J: Chad Kurtis may be the innovator of offense here in Rebel Pro, but with so many damn Kurtises one of them has to do crazy shit to stand above the rest of the herd.

Mikey Massacre: Whether hardcore or not, Chad Kurtis is one of the toughest men I’ve ever been inside the ring with.

Chad climbs up the turnbuckle mounting Jaice for the ten punches that the crowd so loves. Jaice grabs Chad around the waist before he can deliver the first punch and a massive spinebuster slams Chad’s back into the canvas. Jaice spedily through the ropes flipping frontwards with a 360 degree splash that connects solidly and he hooks the leg for a cover.

One…

Two…

Thr–NO! Chad rolls up a shoulder just in the instant before the count of three, although he seems to be holding at his chest.

Mikey Massacre: Jaice is getting to Chad as he is moving slower and slower.

Bubba J: Jaice Wilds is putting The Show through his paces here, a chance I never got in Rebel Pro because Chad wears panties instead of big boy underwear.

Jaice pulls Chad back up to his feet, locks his wrist in a wristlock and walks backwards up the ropes. Jaice balances himself on the top rope as he walks, leaping into the air, he quickly locks in an arm scissors slamming Chad into the mat into a submission hold. The referee nearly slides out of the ring to check on Chad’s condition. Chad is refusing to give up that easily, he is determination personified. The Show clutches at his chest once again and seems to be getting whiter and whiter as the color is draining from his face. Chad grabs the bottom rope, but to Rebel Pro rules indicate that no rope breaks have to be acknowledged. Chad pulls himself to the second rope, Jaice Wild holds on for dear life. Chad to the top rope, sweating and determined, Jaice flips backwards sending Chad rolling. Jaice falls back to the canvas, Chad lands on his feet, charging at the rising Jaice Wilds. Jaice back drops Chad over the top rope, Jaice hits his knees, the toll of the high intensity of facing Chad Kurtis getting to him. Chad lands on the apron, springs to the top rope, comes down with a flipping leg drop that sends Jaice’s face into the canvas. Chad makes a cover.

One…

Two…

Thr–NO! Jaice still has enough in the tank to kickout before three. Chad is still impressed with this guy, pulling him back up to his feet, body slamming him in the middle of the ring. Chad yells out to the crowd, who yells back in return. Chad runs up the corner and launches himself backwards with the Best Moonsault Ever landing directly and squarely on top of Jaice Wilds. Hooking the leg, he is ready for another cover.

One…

Two…

Thr–NO! Jaice able to kick out again.

Mikey Massacre: Chad with yet another near fall here in this match.

Bubba J: Ask me if I really care.

Chad pounds his chest with a fist before he bends down. Jaice pulled up to his feet, Irish whipped into the ropes, Chad hits the canvas, Jaice leaps over. Chad back up to his feet, flat on his back, Jaice returns, Chad shoves him up into the air with his feet and Jaice flips over him to land on his feet? Jaice lands on his feet, Chad is astounded, but quickly recovers. Wilds charges back, Chad ducks under the clothesline, hooking the arm and sending Wilds down to the canvas with a DDT. But wait, no, Jaice was able to block the DDT and shove Chad down to the canvas first allowing him to absorb much of the impact. Jaice flips on over with a one handed handstand, landing near the ropes. Modified springboard to the sitting up Chad Kurtis, leg hook and a cover.

One…

Two…

Thre–NO! It was only two and three fourths, that close. Chad manages to roll up just in time.

Mikey Massacre: Chad giving it all, but is that… There is Stephanie coming down to ringside for some reason.

Bubba J: What is she doing down here? Chad never lets her come to ringside, but she appears to have been crying.

Jaice up, whipping Chad backwards into the turnbuckle, he quickly climbs through the ropes to the top turnbuckle where he sits on the top turnbuckle behind Chad Kurtis. Wilds synches in a inverted facelock, leaping forward he somersaults turning the inverted facelock into a three quarter facelock; sitting out, he slams Chad’s jaw into his shoulder finishing off a Diamond Dust. Jaice hooks the leg with another cover.

One…

Two…

Three!

DING DING

Jaice gets up, unable to believe that he got a victory over Chad Kurtis in one of his first matches here in Rebel Pro. Jimmy holds his hand up high and as Jaice turns around to shake Chad’s hand his big smile quickly grows a bit alarmed as Chad Kurtis still isn’t moving. The fans are hushed. Chad is still laying on the canvas, seeming to struggle for breath. Jimmy wastes no time in ordering the EMTs to come down to the ring as he kneels down beside Chad to check and see if he is breathing. The paramedics rush down, sliding the board into the ring to get Chad up onto it as quickly as possible. Jaice, Jimmy, Bubba J, and Mikey immediately begin taking off the bottom and middle ropes for easier access to leaving. The EMTs slide Chad out of the ring and onto the stretcher as Stephanie runs along side of Chad, tears running down her face; as well as that of the fans in attendence.

Bubba J: I am not a Chad Kurtis fan Mikey, but I hate to see that happen to anyone.

Mikey Massacre: Chad did not look good at all, but folks he was breathing; let me repeat that Chad Kurtis was breathing.

Bubba J: Yeah, we’ll let you know his status as soon as we can; although Mikey his wrestling days may be over from the look on his face when they rolled him out.

Mikey Massacre: Only time will tell, but fans as I’m sure Chad Kurtis would have wished, the show must go on.

~Best of Rebel Pro 2010 DVD box set on sale now!~

JENNY JERSEY: This match is for the vacant REBEL Aggression Championship and it will contested under Ladder Match Rules!!!

The crowd pops big time and the camera does a tight shot on the championship belt hanging 15 feet above the ring.

JENNY JERSEY: Coming to the ring first….

“Hell of a Life Instrumental” by Kanye West hits the PA.

JENNY JERSEY: Hailing from Belleville, Illinois and weighing in at 323 lbs….Vintor Otis!!!

The huge man makes his way from the back towards the ring. The fans aren’t sure of what to make of this huge REBEL rookie.

JENNY JERSEY: And his opponent…

“Slip It In” by Black Flag hits and the crowd comes back to life!

JENNY JERSEY: Hailing from North Hollywood, CA and weighing in at 123 pounds….Marina Blue!!!

The former princess of porn emerges from the back to a huge pop from the REBEL faithful!

Bubba J: Man, the things I’d like to do to her tight ass.

Mikey Massacre: You do realize you are on television… right?

Bubba J: If people want to watch, then they can buy a ticket for the show. Marina don’t mind people watching and if she don’t, I reckon I don’t either.

JENNY JERSEY: And their opponent….

“Chaos Path” by Arcturus hits the PA and again a hush falls over the crowd.

JENNY JERSEY: Hailing from Jefferson City, Missouri and weighing in at 205 lbs….’Dazzing’ Derrick Figgins!!!

Derrick steps out from the back toting his own ladder and makes his way towards the ring.

The camera pans around the ring and we see several ladders laying here and there ready to be put to use. All three wrestlers are in the ring and the referee calls for the bell!

Mikey Massacre: Here we go!

Derrick bum rushes Otis and eats a stiff clothesline! Blue bails to the outside as the big man pulls Derrick off the mat and shoot him into the ropes. A gorilla press into a slam from Otis! On the outside, Blue picks up a ladder and shoves it into the ring before climbing up onto the ring apron.Otis yanks Derrick back to his feet just in time for both men to get hit with a springboard double dropkick from Blue! Derrick hits the mat but the big man is simply staggered. Blue rolls to her feet, ducks under a clothesline and lands a low dropkick to the knee of the big man! Otis drops to one knee and Blue hits the ropes taking the big man to the mat with a hurricanrana on the rebound! Blue is back to her feet and the fans are solidly behind her as she grabs the ladder on the mat and sets it up under the dangling title belt!

Bubba J: Did you see the size of her jugs? I mean hubba hubba hubba!

Mikey Massacre: When did you start drinking?

Bubba J: When I was about twelve.

Mikey Massacre: No, I mean today.

Bubba J: When I popped the top.

Mikey Massacre: What time?

Bubba J: This morning? Honestly, I can’t remember.

Blue starts climbing the ladder but Derrick is there to yank her off. Forearm shot from Derrick snaps the head of Blue back. Another stiff forearm shot! Blue suddenly shoves Derrick away and connects with a superkick! The move spins Derrick around and right into the hands of the monstrous Otis! Chokeslam from Otis leaves Derrick twitching on the mat! Blue tries to rush up the ladder but is yanked down by Otis. Blue is shot into the ropes and is flattened by a shoulder block. Otis turns to the ladder, folds it up and simply pushes it over onto the mat. Blue is getting back to her feet and takes a boot to the side of the head that drops her. Otis stands over the two fallen wrestlers and the fans big him a hearty rounds of boos. Blue is scooped up by Otis and slammed onto the ladder! She rolls away clutching at her lower back. Derrick is getting up and finds a meaty hand wrapped around his throat once more!

Bubba J: He is one big sumbitch, wonder if he is as retarded as Matthew Kurtis?

Mikey Massacre: I wouldn’t know, although he may give you a run for your money in that department.

Otis tries for another chokeslam but eats a trio of hard elbow shots to the side of the head! Bulldog onto the ladder from Derrick leaves the big man glassy eyed! Derrick starts to celebrate and turns just in time to get caught with a springboard seated senton from Blue! Marina lays in a trio of right hands to Derrick for good measure before rolling out of the ring to retrieve another ladder. Blue shoves a second ladder into the ring and slides in after it. Otis is getting back to his feet and Blue hits a spinning side kick to the back of his head before he can get back to his feet. Blue sets up the second ladder and starts to climb at the REBEL fans cheer her on! Otis is getting back to his feet and Blue stops her climb. Otis is up, turns and Blue launches herself off the ladder with a moonsault! Otis catches her in mid air, hoists her up onto his shoulder and drills her with a snake eyes into the near corner!

Bubba J: Are you saying that I’m retarded?

Mikey Massacre: Let me check… yup sure am.

Bubba J: Why you brass little bastard.

Mikey Massacre: That’d be Bearded Bastard to you.

Bubba J: Good one.

Otis glances at the ladder but instead of climbing it he rolls out of the ring. On the outside, Otis rips back the ring skirt and pulls a table out from under the ring getting a huge pop! He sets the table up outside as a loud ‘We Want Tables’ chant echoes through the building! Otis climbs back into the ring and sees that Derrick has gotten to his feet. Bad move Derrick. A boot to the gut doubles over Derrick and Otis hooks up the smaller man. Otis hoists Derrick up, takes a running start at the ring ropes and nails a Awesome Bomb through the table on the outside! A loud, yet happy, ‘Holy Shit!’ chant breaks out and the big man has just earned a spot with the REBEL crowd! EMTs rush out from the back and start checking on the unmoving Derrick as he lays on the floor surrounded by a shattered table. Otis is looking at handiwork and never sees Blue sneak up behind him. Low blow from Blue! Blue turns Otis around and takes him to the mat with a DDT!

Bubba J: That is going to hurt his nuts for a while. She knows how to grab ‘em and how to jab ‘em.

Mikey Massacre: Otis won’t be singing bass tonight.

Bubba J: He can sing?

Blue heads towards the ladder and starts climbing! Otis sits up and crawls his way to the ladder. Blue reaches up to grab the belt but is stopped when Otis grabs her leg and starts

to pull her down! Blue is hanging on for dear life and with one hand digs something out of her jean shorts pocket. Otis tries to climb up to yank Blue off the ladder when he gets a facefull of pepper spray! The big man falls to the mat clutching at his face in agony as Blue scampers up the ladder and grabs the belt!

Bubba J: My girl won, fuck yeah!

Mikey Massacre: Marina with a hard fought victory here tonight.

Bubba J: She deserves a beer and for that matter… so do I.

The referee calls for the bell as Blue poses on top of the ladder with the REBEL Aggression Title held high above her head!

JENNY JERSEY: The winner of this match, and neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew REBEL Aggression Champion…Marina Blue!!!!

~Commercial for Rebel Pro “Winter Blast 2011″ February 4, 2011 Grady Cole Center~

“Smooth” hits up in the speakers and that can only mean one thing…

JENNY JERSEY: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for the main event of the evening and introducing first, from Las Vegas, Nevada; he stands at five feet eleven inches and weighs in at two hundred and twenty pounds… “CHRIS CASINO!”

Casino looks taken aback at the huge amount of cheering going on for him and tentatively
puts his arms out for slaps as he makes his way down and into the ring.

“Anthem For The Underdog” means only one thing, Jacob Venar steps out from the back holding his fist high as though he has already won. The crowd lets him know otherwise though as they are bo oing heavily at “The Falcon”.

Jenny Jersey: From British Columbia, Canada; he stands at six feet two inches while weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds… “The Falcon” JACOB VENAR!”

Jacob steps up the steps and into the steel cage, glaring at Casino the entire time.

DING DING

Bubba J: Here we go Mikey with the Main Event of the night.

Mikey Massacre: Bubba J, you’ve been in the ring with Jacob; how do you prepare for him.

Bubba J: By drinking beer and twelve ounce curls.

Collar and elbow lockup in the center of the ring, Casino behind Jacob with a rear waistlock. Jacob breaks the hands apart spinning around but Casino has this scouted as he lifts Venar up taking him down with an atomic drop. Jacob stumbles into the ropes, Casino following quickly after him intending on a cage slam. Venar springs to the middle rope up and over Casino sending him face first into the cage with a standing dropkick. Jacob grabs the face of Casino, dragging him across the barbed wire steel to try and open up his pretty face early on in the match. Casino slams an elbow into Jacob’s midsection before spinning around with a roundhouse punch. Jacob avoids the blow taking Casino down face first with a single arm DDT. Jacob rolls over and up to his feet, bouncing off the ropes with a leg drop onto canvas as Casino rolls out of the way quickly. Chris is up to his feet dodging a leg lariat attempt kicking Jacob in the back of the skull with a superkick. Jacob’s throat lands across the top rope, Casino runs along the top rope, dropping down onto the top rope, but Jacob moves and Casino effectively crotches himself.

Bubba J: Well that Monique won’t be gettin’ any lovin’ tonight Mikey.

Mikey Massacre: Very doubtful Bubba J, very doubtful.

Bubba J: Bet Casino’s got blueballs for a totally different reason.

Mikey Massacre: Very crude Bubba J, very crude.

Bubba J: I hear an echo.

Jacob rams the side of Casino’s head into the steel cage before causing the rope to bounce up and down further hurting Casino’s dice. Jacob with a stunning back elbow shot takes Casino off the rop and down to the corner. Jacob with a running knee slams right into Casino’s face reddening his forehead tremendously. Jacob says something to Casino as he pulls him up into a vertical position. Casino drops Jacob face first onto the turnbuckle causing Venar to stumble back and hold at his mouth. Casino springs from the corner taking Venar down with a clothesline and to the canvas. Casino stomps away at Venar’s head, but Jacob rolls over to protect his face lashing out with a right hand into Casino’s midsection. Casino stumbles back from the blow and Venar presses his advantage by launching himself at Chris. Chris ducks helping to launch Jacob into the steel cage face first. Jacob comes stumbling back, blood trickling from a cut on his forehead.

Bubba J: And we have the first blood of the match.

Mikey Massacre: But definitely not the last.

Casino digs his fingernails into the wound trying to spread it apart and create more of a blood flow. Jacob thumbs Casino in the eyes, which is perfectly legal in Rebel Pro and Casino drops the attack. Casino is wiping at his eyes, trying to clear them so that he can see. Jacob with a running enzeguri takes Casino down onto the middle rope. Jacob off the opposite ropes, leaping up into the air and coming down on Casino’s back slamming his throat into the rope. Jacob bounces up and down like a kid on a trampoline, causing Casino to choke and gag for air. Casino with a desperation shove gets Jacob off his back and he falls to the canvas holding at his throat.

Mikey Massacre: I thought Gordon had a Special Guest Referee in mind for this match.

Bubba J: Oh yeah, I forgot.

Bubba J leaps up, removing his “Hardcore Drinking” shirt to reveal a sleeveless referee shirt. Bubba J takes his steel chair and tosses it over the barbed wire at the top and into the ring. Bubba J looks inside the ring and decides there isn’t enough hardcore as he tosses in a few more chairs and decides to bring a table in with him as well.

Mikey Massacre: What? Well, there is one man that Rebel Pro could never control.

Bubba J steps into the cage, shutting and padlocking the door behind him before sitting down the table and grabbing a steel chair. Jacob comes over yelling at Bubba J, who just looks unimpressed before pointing behind Jacob; who doesn’t bite on the advice. Bubba J steps back as Casino comes around Jacob, driving him face first through the table with a bulldog. Bubba J looks down at the table and two wrestlers.

Bubba J: Now, where am I supposed to sit my beer?

Neither man cares as they roll back up and begin to exchange right hands like it is the beginning of the match. Casino ducks under sending his shoulder into Jacob’s midsection, but Venar rolls on over and up to his feet. Casino spins around, but the roundhouse from Jacob sends him spinning down to one knee. Jacob off the ropes, Shining Wizard takes him onto the canvas this time. Jacob looks over at Bubba J, who is sitting there drinking a beer, calmly watching the match unfold.

Mikey Massacre: I do believe this is a first here Rebel Pro fans, the first time that a referee has sat in the cage drinking beer while two men fight it out for the Rebel Pro World Title.

Jacob slams a knee into Casino’s face while he sits in the corner. Chris shakes his head back and forth while Jacob picks up a steel chair that Bubba J tossed in. Bubba J looks approvingly at the use of the weapon as he takes a swallow from the beer. Jacob winds up and swings connecting solidly with Casino’s cranium with a solid thunk knocking Casino’s head back until it touches the middle turnbuckle.

Mikey Massacre: Jacob Venar with a homerun puts his team up one to nothing.

Jacob looks at the booing crowd before winding up with a second smash. He brings the chair down, but Casino counters by shoving both feet into the path of the chair sending it back into Venar’s red eyed face. Venar stumbles back, that wound on his forehead bleeding a bit more from the steel chair kiss. Casino gets up and there is a small river of blood coming from under his hairline. Casino goes right after Venar, but Jacob catches him with a hiptoss. Casino goes on over, springing on the top rope to bounce back over connecting with a tornado DDT that sends Jacob’s head right into the steel chair. Casino gets up, pulling Jacob up to his feet pounding him in the cheek and mouth with forearm and elbow shots to rock his head around like a balloon. Casino mounts him in the corner.

Mikey Massacre: Casino is one tough man to face when he isn’t angry, but now that he is thoroughly pissed off… if I were Venar, I’d watch out.

One!

Two!

Three!

Four!

Five!

Jacob shoves backwards, but Casino manages to grab him in a front facelock, taking him to kiss the steel chair once again. Casino rolls over, heading over to the cage wall and begins to climb up the side of the cage. Jacob shoves up as the roar of the crowd rises when Casino reaches half-way. Jacob leaps to the top rope and up to grab Casino’s ankle as he is fixing to go over the top. Casino kicks out, but Jacob has his hands wrapped in the cage to prevent him falling and is doing his best to climb up the cage to confront Casino up top. Casino hooks his arms in the top of the cage, refusing to fall from his chance to win the Rebel Pro World Title. Bubba J looks up as Venar climbs up beside Casino, both men beginning to exchange blows as they have one arm and leg locked into the cage.

Mikey Massacre: I’ve fallen from the top of a cage, it isn’t going to fill good if they do.

Jacob slips, but has a hold of Casino’s head. Both men continue to exchange fists on the top. Casino slips, Jacob still has him in the headlock. Casino with a kidney shot, Jacob releases the headlock out of reflex, but Casino catches the arm pulling him down as they both fall!

Mikey Massacre: Holy hell!

Casino slams onto the canvas shoulder first, but Venar is in the same boat except for the fact he fell on his left shoulder and Casino on his right. Bubba J looks over, impressed but just cracks another beer letting these two men damn near kill each other.

Mikey Massacre: You’ve got to check and make sure they are alive Bubba J!

Bubba J looks over, as though he heard Mikey and just shakes his head. Venar is the first to begin rising up to his forearms at least, but Casino is close behind him. Both men are wearing crimson masks now and fighting through exhaustion in order to be the Rebel Pro World Champion. Casino dives at Venar, Jacob ducking under getting Casino on his shoulders. Venar spins around with an airplane spin, but Casino catches his feet on the ropes halting the spin and Jacob loses his prey. Casino falls to the mat, up with a quick standing dropkick. Venar turns around, just in time to avoid the dropkick and rush forward with a spear. Casino leaps over the spear and to the top rope, but Jacob turns around as he misses Casino. Chris leaps from the top rope with a hurricanrana and Venar catches him with a sit-out powerbomb onto the broken table halves. Venar rolls over and makes the cover, but Bubba J refuses to count.

Mikey Massacre: What is that redneck doing?

Bubba J points to the side of the cage, not to the door, indicating that Venar must go up and over the top in order to win the match. Venar is furious and heads to the corner where he begins to climb slowly up to the top. Casino rolls over to his knees and watches as Venar is about a quarter of the way up from the turnbuckles and on his way to victory. Casino shoves up, grabbing a full beer from Bubba J and hurling it right at the back of Venar’s head.

Mikey Massacre: What a shot, he nails Venar in the back of the skull.

Jacob slips, but manages to catch himself and look around at Casino who is climbing up right after him. Casino drops the steel chair he is holding in favor of using both hands to climb up.

Mikey Massacre: Both men hanging from about half-way up and neither is giving a damn inch here!

Both men slip, both men crotch themselves, both men are in pain and even the pain addicted Venar has to wish that he wasn’t feeling that type of pain. Casino, falls into the ring, holding himself even closer as it is the second damn time he’s had that happen this match. Casino is gagging from the pain and Venar is leaning up against the cage for support.

Mikey Massacre: All the men here tonight, can literally feel their pain right now.

Jacob manages to turn himself and begin a very slow climb back towards the top of the cage, moving extremely gingerly. Casino looks up at Jacob’s slowly retreating form and seems to ponder if he can and if it is worth it. Casino nods to himself before shoving up to go after Venar.

Mikey Massacre: Venar and Casino showing that they are willing to do nearly anything to be World Champ and fans let me tell you, that is a grand place to be.

Casino is moving up behind Venar as Jacob goes to round the top of the cage to drop down. Casino catches the ankle, pulling downwards and letting all of his weight pull Venar down!

Mikey Massacre: Here they go…

Jacob slams both boots into Casino’s head!

But Casino has the presence of mind to maintain his grip, until his head slams into the ringpost sending up a small spray of crimson as he does so. Bubba J looks over, nodding and flicking Venar the bird. Jacob glares at Bubba J before climbing back up the cage, slowly and leaving the broken bloody form of Casino laying there with his eyes closed. Jacob holds to the side of the cage as he looks over the crowd and then slowly tosses one leg over the top and begins his climb down. He stops half-way and looks at Casino still laying there unmoving, but still breathing.

Mikey Massacre: Casino is out cold and Venar is there trash talking him.

Venar is mouthing something that we can’t hear over the booing of the crowd, but he drops down to the floor.

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match and NEEEEEEEEEEEEW Rebel Pro World Champion…. Jacobbbbbbbbbb Vvvvvvennnnnnnnar!

Mikey Massacre: I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it! Jacob Venar has done what no one thought he could do and won the Rebel Pro World Heavyweight title.

Jenny Jersey walks over, handing the belt to Venar, who just looks down at it before holding it up high for the crowd to see. Jacob isn’t finished though as he climbs back up the side of the cage, the belt held over his right shoulder.

Mikey Massacre: What is he doing?

Venar stands on the corner of the cage, as high as he can get, and holds the belt up high looking down on everyone. The camera slowly fades into the 2011 Rebel Pro logo and then to black.