Birthday Bash 2012: Blood in the Sand

Welcome to Sunny Afghanistan

Same grainy black and white footage, as though from a cell phone.

“Yes, your tickets are in the PO Box that we agreed on.”
He waits.

“The key is already in your possession I take it?”

The man smiles, but you can’t tell from the footage.

“The costumes should do well to disguise you superbly; no one will know until the exact time of the takeover.”

He nods and that is something that you are barely able to discern.

“Glad that we could do business and I look forward to this partnership.”

The click of a phone slapping shut is heard as the shot blackens.

Birthday Bash: Blood in the Sand

The camera pans the makeshift arena here in the heart of Kabul, Afghanistan. US, British, Canadian and Afghan soldiers all fill the stands and cheer wildly as the pyro’s pop off along the entrance ramp and in the four corners of the ring. We see a quick shot of the Skittles Death Pit for tonights Aggression title match as well, before we see Simon Kalis step out onto the entrance ramp.

Larry Gordon: Oh dear lord, Simon.

Simon waves an AK-47 into the air and begins firing shots into the air to the cheers of the crowd, especially the Afghan troops who find it most amusing. Kalis makes his way to the ring, the AK-47 slung over his shoulder before sliding in and grabbing a microphone.

Simon Kalis: Tonight, a lot is going to happen. RP3T is going to end with a star studded finale featuring AoWF forefathers like Jeffrey Drake and Thunderwolf. Legendary names in the business like Alex Wilkie and Mark McNasty.

Simon winks.

Simon Kalis: And of course, the ever lovely, supremely talented Cowgirls from Hell.

There’s a big cheer for them.

Simon Kalis: I’ve kept this little tidbit close to my chest. But the winning team of RP3T, will also be guaranteed to represent REBEL Pro against the AoWF Tag Team Champions when our shot comes around.

Linzi Martin: Oh shit!

Simon Kalis: As if there wasn’t enough incentive to win.

He taps the AK-47.

Simon Kalis: Of course. If I see any Masters of Armageddon here tonight who shouldn’t be here, well.

He taps the AK-47 again.

Simon Kalis: Are the Afghani’s really gonna arrest me?

The soldiers in the crowd all find that quite amusing.

Simon Kalis: Of course. The most important thing to say here is, that we’re all so very proud and thankful for all the great things you fine ladies and gentlemen in uniform have done for us. So we present this show for you, in honour of you and all the true greatness that lays here. Not within this ring, not within we who fight battles for entertainment and fun, but for you. You men and women who do it for us, the real greatness is in all of you who surround this ring tonight. Thank you all, and God Bless.

“Regulator” by CLUTCH hits as Simon slides out of the ring, the soldiers all cheering. He fires the AK-47 a few more times into the air and bows behind the curtains.

Electra versus Jamie Shields

The match started off with Electra taking control, a quick face buster taking Shields down to the canvas. Electra goes for a baseball slide into Jamie Shields, but Shields rolls out of the way and then brings a hard and heavy elbow down over her throat. Shields to his feet as Electra remains on the canvas, holding her throat and gasping for air. Shields lifts her up and holds her an arms length away, then slams forward with a ferocious clothesline across her neck that nearly takes her head off. Electra rolls on the canvas, gets to her feet and then springboards herself off the top rope and smashes into Jamie Shields with a dropkick. Shields hit’s the canvas, Electra jumps on top of him and begins smashing his face in with lefts and rights, lefts and rights. Jamie Shields, much bigger and much stronger grips her by the throat once more and throws her off of him. Electra rolls out of the ring and decides to go true REBEL Pro on his ass as she looks for a weapon under the ring.

Jamie Shields decides to go out of the ring too on the opposite side and go under the ring. He pulls out two tables, and slides them into the ring. Electra is still somewhere under the ring. Shields sets up the first table in the middle of the ring, and then props the second one up in the corner. Electra slides into the ring, a lead pipe in hand. As Shields turns to face her, she cracks him over the face. A second crack with the lead pipe has Shields bleeding, and then jumps up onto his shoulders. She cracks him again, and again over the head before doing a hurricanrana into the table set up in the corner. They’re both now broken in the debris. Electra is up first, and pulls Jamie out of the wreckage. She covers.

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!!! Shields KICKS OUT!

Electra gets up and begins to argue with the referee. But Shields is now getting to his feet and he grabs the lead pipe Electra brought into the ring and cracks her over the back of the head with it. She falls over onto the other table set up in the middle of the ring. Shields, wiping the blood from his face, climbs up onto it. He lifts her up, CATACYLSM THROUGH THE TABLE!!! Shields covers!

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Shields has his arm raised, and for the first time in a long time… He tastes victory.

Huntin‘ The World Part 5 of 6

The camera fades in to show the sun rising over several buildings, its clear that we are in the East, not in the United States, but more specifically… in Japan.

“I’m here today, this damn morning, to try and find this person. I’m trying to find them by tracing his roots.”

He clears his throat.

“Yeah, I’m damn tired of being all mysterious and am revealing that its a guy, but you can kiss my redneck ass if you think I’m going to tell you who it is.”

He spins the camera around, looking at the different landmarks.

“I’m in the home of professional wrestling. I’m in the home where this guy trained, learned a portion of their art work, and where he is an icon to their fans.”

He begins to walk, a Japanese man coming up to him.

“I’m here in hopes that I can find him by his roots and then trace him to where he is now.”

The Japanese man speaks, Bubba J now in front of the camera, looking at the man in confusion.

“What?”

The man speaks again as Bubba J pulls out a cigarette.

“Huh?”

The man speaks slower, his English very garbled.

“I don’t know what in the fuck you are saying you little short sumbitch.”

The ever disrespectful man looks up at Bubba J.

“I’m not trying to be disrespectful or anything, I just don’t understand the words that are coming out of your mouth.”

Bubba J leans down, whispering in the man’s ear.

Man(very broken English): “What?”

Bubba J bends down, whispering again.

Man: “Hurh?”

Bubba J whispers again.

Man: “I so sorry, I not understand your accent. No disrespect meant, but I just don’t understand the words coming out of your mouth.”

Bubba J smiles as the man smiles.

Bubba J: “Smartass.”

Man: “Damn right.”

The laugh.

Bubba J: “Can you help me?”

The man nods, motioning to cut the camera feed and for Bubba J to follow him.

REBEL Pro Fecal Beagle Championship Match

Kvlt Drachen vs. Jeremy Gold vs. Jack The Mackhammer vs. Bobby Lee vs. Jack Spades©

The next match was for Rebel Pro’s most prestigious championship… The Fecal Beagle title…

Five men entered the ring, and one would leave the winner.. while another would leave the champion… silly rules, but these are all silly men, former champion Bobby Lee, General Manager Jeremy Gold, MoA Member Kvlt Drachen self proclaimed sexiest man alive, Jack The Mackhammer and the champion, Jack Spades.

The Match started off, with every man hesitant of each other, that is, every man except for Kvlt, who went on a rampage as soon as the bell rang, he ran for former champion Bobby Lee, bringing him down hard with a vicious Big Boot! Jeremy Gold ran for cover but Kvlt caught him by a handful of hair just as he was on the apron, Kvlt pulled him back into the ring with a big suplex over the top rope!

Both Mackhammer and Jack Spades were watching the scene from afar as Kvlt demolished to two Rebel Pro Vets, it only took Mackhammer a second to snap out of watching the train wreck to turn around and kick Spades in the gut, the two went at it on the other side of the ring as Kvlt dominated Bobby and Gold.

Kvlt sent Bobby over the top rope with a great big toss, almost throwing him straight out of the arena, then turned his attention to Jeremy Gold, who begged and pleaded for mercy! He tosses Jeremy into the nearest corner then charges at him full bore and drives his hard knee right into his gut! (Drillbit Gutfuck as he likes to call it) Jeremy takes a step forward holding his gut as Kvlt lifts him and spins around into the very intricate “Seventh Seal” (Flashy Inverted Crucifix Powerbomb) – Jeremy goes down for the count and the ref calls for him to be Eliminated due to a KO. Mackhammer and Spades, on the other side of the ring, lock up, Mackhammer gets behind Spades and goes for a quick belly to back take-down, Spades scoots out of it and gets back up to his feet, this however is boring as all hell compared to what Kvlt was doing with Jeremy Gold!

At this point Bobby Lee has gotten back up to his feet and is rolling under the top rope, but Kvlt stops him with his boot, digging it into Bobby Lee’s neck, the weight sheer force of Kvlt forces Bobby to Tap Out!! Kvlt, now finished with the two vets, turns his attention to Mackhammer and Spades, Mackhammer had Spades in the corner and was going for a ten count punch right into Spades head! Spades however pushes Mackhammer off, who back flips off the turnbuckle and rolls right Into Kvlt who pulls him up and drops Mackhammer with a hard full nelson slam!

Mackhammer rolls out of the ring, holding his head, the ref checks on him to make sure he’s OK, while Spades and Kvlt lock up in the ring, Spades goes for a side headlock, driving a few elbows into the head of Kvlt who pulls out of the head lock and locks up with Spades from behind, Spades attempts to get out of the lock up, but before he can, Kvlt pulls him back for a hard German Suplex! Kvlt attempts to go for a bridge with the Suplex, but Spades kicked out at two, holding his head he gets to his feet, Kvlt getting to his.

They both stare each other down, but before either of them can lock up again, Mackhammer comes out of nowhere with a Low-Blow to Kvlt! Spades rushes Mackhammer, but Mackhammer ducks under him , Spades bounces off the ropes and comes back at Mackhammer, who drops a huge Bionic Eblow on Spades!!

Kvlt picks himself up, just as Mackhammer lifts Spades up into a standing suplex before he drops him down into a huge slam (Ala- The Mackhammer!) Mackhammer goes for the pin and gets the three count as Spades in eliminated from the match!

Mackhammer however has no time to celebrate as he gets to his feet he turns right into a running high knee from Kvlt! Mackhammer stands stunned as he staggers back into the ropes, only to bounce back right into Kvlt’s arms who pulls him into a power bomb position! Kvlt lets out a tremendous war-cry as he pulls Mackhammer up and drops him with a hard Tiger Power Bomb! Kvlt holds Mackhammers shoulder down for the three count!

Winner by Pinfall – Kvlt Drachen, and as per the rules of the Fecal Beagle Championship, Jack the Mackhammer is the new champion.

After the match, Mackhammer was helped from the ring by a ref, with one arm drapped around him, and another hugging his first title belt.

Barbed Wire Massacre

Voiceover: REBEL Pro returns to Pay Per View as the International Tour begins with BARBED WIRE MASSACRE, Live from the Bell Centre in Montreal, Quebec Canada on May 7th, 2012!

REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Overflowing Skittles Death Match

Jaice Wilds versus Anna Mathews©

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match will be an Overflowing Skittles DEATH Match for the REBEL Pro Aggression Championship!

We pan to a different part of this makeshift arena in Kabul, and there is a large put with two parallel layers to it. An inner and outer. The outer of course, filled with Skittles.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first.

Jenny looks at the card in her hand and shrugs.

Jenny Jersey: This dumb son of a bitch with the Masters of Armageddon. The ultimate fucktard and Brazilian transsexual… JAICE WILDS!

Jaice Wilds steps up onto the edge of the pit, “Animals” by Nickleback playing and him getting a warm welcome of boos and hate. He looks at Jenny with contempt, but hey, it ain’t her fault Kalis ordered her to introduce him like that. He is handed a kendo stick and takes his place at the edge of the plank.

Linzi Martin: As you guys can see. The Skittles Death Pit is a good six foot drop into thumbtacks and glass from the plank. Anna and Jaice will fight over that plank with kendo sticks until one of them has knocked the other into the pit, at which point those valves outside of it will turn open and the pit will begin filling with Skittles.

Larry Gordon: So how do you win?

Linzi Martin: Death by skittle drowning. Quite a lovely thing.

Jenny Jersey: His opponent! The Queen of Dodos! The Captain of The Charms!

Jenny looks at the card and sighs.

Jenny Jersey: Dat ass!

Larry Gordon: Oh my, Simon definitely put that in.

Linzi Martin: Better watch out for Tamika.

Jenny Jersey: She is your REBEL Pro Aggression Champion! ANNA MATHEWS!!!

Anna steps up to the pit, quite adorable as she is. She gets handed her kendo stick and bows.

DING DING

Anna steps carefully forward, trying to keep her balance. Jaice Wilds that monkey man he is has no problem keeping his balance on this thin piece of wood. He rushes forward and flips himself right over Anna Mathews, landing gracefully behind her. Anna tries to keep from falling, and Jaice spins around and cracks her on the back with his kendo stick. Anna stumbles forward but maintains her balance. She gingerly turns around and swings her kendo stick, but Jaice Wilds ducks. He swings his again and whacks her on the leg. She nearly loses her balance but fights to stay up. She swings again, but this time in a downward motion and cracks her kendo stick over the head of Jaice Wilds.

Larry Gordon: Anna’s got to be careful. She has no where near the same balance on this thing as Jaice.

Linzi Martin: Jaice Wilds is determined to recapture the Aggression title.

Anna swings again, and hits again. But Jaice has the audacity to dropkick Anna Matthews. She falls! She drops her kendo stick and then hangs precariously from the plank. Jaice Wilds is also hanging, by one hand. The kendo stick in his other. He swings wildly, and cracks Anna in the ribs and chest. Anna Mathews both hands on the plank, pulls herself up. Jaice Wilds drops his kendo stick into the pit and does the same. Anna Mathews grabs onto his head and neck, and tries a DDT but Jaice Wilds wiggles his way out of it. Jaice Wilds leaps up onto her shoulders, HURRICANRANA OFF THE PLANK AND INTO THE PIT! The soldiers in the crowd go ape shit as we switch to the overhead camera.

Larry Gordon: That was insane!

Linzi Martin: That had to hurt both of them.

Anna Mathews rolls away from Jaice, thumbtacks all pierced into her, but it is the same with Jaice. Anna stops just short of rolling onto the broken glass and the valves turn, and Skittles begin pouring into the pit. Jaice grabs a brick that’s in the pit and goes for Anna. She kicks him square in the nuts, the brick drops. Anna up, implant DDT into the shards of glass! The crowd gasps, Jaice winces hard in pain. He quickly grabs the brick again as Anna gets on top of him to hit him and she swings the brick and cracks her in the side of the face. Anna falls back hard, bleeding from the side of her head now as well. Se takes a handful of skittles and eats them, tasting the rainbow. Jaice pulls a piece of glass from his face and rubs it, luckily the cut wasn’t too deep. Anna goes for him, and Jaice thrusts his shoulders into her sides and tackles her down into thumbtacks, glass and skittles.

Larry Gordon: It’s a hellish pit.

Linzi Martin: But colourful. Though, imagine this Skittles Death Match was held in Florida?

Larry Gordon: Oh my.

Jaice begins wailing on Anna in the face, lefts and rights. The referees stand on the edges above the pit watching carefully, the pit filling rapidly with Skittles as Afghan kids cry everywhere at the waste. Jaice holds Anna’s face down under the skittles, thus beginning the ten count!

1!

Anna grabs Jaice’s arms and tries to rip free.

2!!

Jaice mounts her harder(stfu pervs), putting all his weight onto her chest as he holds her face down in the Skittles.

3!!!

Anna claws her nails into Jaice’s arms, they start to bleed but Jaice just yells at her to stay down.

4!!!!

Jaice using his agility, lifts himself upwards, holding down on Anna’s face and neck, his legs skyward.

5!!!!

He drops back down, driving his knees into her chest and forcing any air she has left right out of her.

6!!!!!

Linzi Martin: Oh shit. Oh shit.

7!!!!

Anna lifts her legs, twisting her body until it’s arched all the way. Her legs wrap onto Jaice’s neck.

8!!!!!

Larry Gordon: WE MIGHT HAVE A NEW AGGRESSION CHAMPION!!!

NIIII-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Anna twists enough to get Jaice off of her, he rolls out into skittles but winces as right beneath those skittles is shards of glass and thumbtacks. Anna sits up suddenly, and begins spitting skittles out of her mouth as she gasps for air. Jaice is already trying to find a new weapon, now that all the weapons are buried under the skittles. Anna jumps Jaice from behind, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him down. She locks in a crossface chickenwing and tries to keep her own head above the rising tide of skittles. Jaice yells out towards the overhead camera, perhaps calling out for Masters assistance.

Larry Gordon: Oh boy, he ain’t getting Masters assistance.

Simon Kalis steps out and walks over to the pit, waving his AK-47 in the air. He yells something out to the competitors inside the pit, something about a bullet in the head if anyone interferes against Anna Mathews. Anna flips Jaice over now, and his face is buried under skittles while she maintains the hold.

1!

Jaice can be seen squirming, but the skittles are getting so high up that his body is disappearing under them.

2!!

Anna wrenches the crossface, adorable yet oh so fatal.

3!!!

Larry Gordon: It takes ten seconds, remember folks. Ten seconds of drowning by skittles.

4!!!

Linzi Martin: I love REBEL Pro.

5!!!!

Anna Mathews’ yells out something to Jaice, fuck knows what even if she spoke normally.

6!!!!

Jaice is completely submerged underneath the Skittles, just as the pouring of it ceases finally.

7!!!!

Anna seems to be thrashing about still, proving Jaice is not out of the fight yet.

8!!!

Jaice lifts himself up with all the strength he has and then drops down on Anna. She goes under the skittles now herself, her crossface hold still locked on. Jaice Wilds arches his back and begins elbowing her with his free arm. A new count begins.

1!

Larry Gordon: Jaice is still being choked out.

2!!

Linzi Martin: Yes, but he just might win this.

3!!!

Larry Gordon: No pinfalls, no DQ, no count outs, no submissions.

4!!!

Linzi Martin: There are only two ways to win this match. Escape the pit.

5!!!

Larry Gordon: Or drown your opponent in it.

Anna pulls Jaice so hard he goes under with her. Finally Anna and Jaice both are out of the skittles, gasping for air. Anna scrounges for a weapon, grabs onto the same brick Jaice hit her with. Jaice Wilds is behind her, she spins and smashes the brick so hard against his face he collapses like… Well like a ton of bricks. Anna Mathews gets to her feet and jumps, reaching for the small slits on the pit wall that allow for climbing.

Linzi Martin: It looks like Anna has the idea! She’s just gonna climb out!

Jaice is up however, and whilst groggy, he still sludge’s through the skittles towards Anna. Anna changes her trajectory, spring boarding herself off the side of the pit! BOOMERFLY KICK TO JAICE WILDS!!! She sits on him, holding his face down with both hands.

1!

2!!

3!!!

4!!!

5!!!

6!!!

7!!!

8!!!

9!!!

10!!!!

DING DING DING

Anna Mathews gets up, climbs out of the pit and breathes easier.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match, by skittle drowning… and STILLLLLLLL REBEL Pro AGGRESSION CHAMPION!!! ANNA MATHEWS!!!!

Jaice sits up, very groggy, bleeding heavily from the head. Anna is bleeding too, as she is handed the Aggression title. Simon Kalis still at the side of the pit extends a hand, magically he suddenly has a slice of cake(because fuck your logic) and offers it to Anna Mathews. Adorable and smiling, Anna nods and they begin heading backstage.

Larry Gordon: Hey, Jaice fought real hard here. He really had Anna on the ropes.

Linzi Martin: In a match with skittles instead of ropes.

Larry Gordon: I don’t think this is the last time these two meet.

Huntin‘ The World Part 6 of 6

The scene dissolves from an airport, noticing many people walking around. Some are leaving, some are arriving, some are waiting for loved ones, and some just work there.

V/O: “I’m here because I’ve found out that my quarry is here in this country.”

He walks on, the camera constantly recording until he walks up to the exit doors.

“Some where outside of these doors is the man I’m seeking. Somewhere out there is the man I’ve been hunting for the past weeks. Somewhere out there is some big time help for Rebel Pro…”

He walks out of the doors and into a scene from an army base.

“I’ve tracked him here, to the army base where Birthday Bash 2012 is taking place.”

He walks through the doors of the building.

“Is he backstage?”

He seems to walk backstage, recording the entire time.

“Is he in the bathroom?”

He walks in, but quickly walks back out.

“Nope, not unless he left a floater.”

He walks back down the hallway.

“He’s got to be out in the arena, there is no where else he could possibly be…”

He walks through the backstage curtain.

“There he is, right there in the front row.”

He focuses in on a man, dressed up like the rest of the soldiers, but seeming to hide something.

“Look at him trying to hide, I’d recognize him anywhere.”

The man, realizing that he’s been found, stands up as we come live in the building. Bubba J has a microphone.

Bubba J: “Get in the ring, you sumbitch.”

The man rolls in to the ring, standing up to his feet; still trying to act like a normal soldier. Bubba J steps in to the ring and up to the man. Bubba J looks him up and down, sneering and smirking at the man.

“Take that shit off”

The man shakes his head from side to side, denying that this is a costume. Bubba J reaches up, ripping off the hat, wig, glasses… revealing…

“Ladies and gentlemen… I give you the man I’ve been hunting…”

The crowd explodes, they recognize him.

“The Show… Chad Kurtis!”

RP3T FINALS: REBEL Pro World Tag Team Championship Match

Thunderwolf & Jeffrey Drake vs. The Cowgirls from Hell vs. Grade A Nastyness©

All three teams take a place in their own corners, conversing. McNasty and Wilkie are the first to start out, wanting to put a strong start to their title reign. Wilkie jumps Thunderwolf, knocking Kelser over the top rope while barely hanging on to it to fall himself. Wilkie starts pulling himself back, Drake throwing an elbow to the back of his head. McNasty acts quickly, sending Dustin’s partner over the ropes and to the floor beside Thunderwolf. Grade A Nastyness grin, focusing on their work rather than the other threat in the ring.

The sisters Strader, dressed to the nines in military-issue bikinis (no doubt Simon Kalis’ influence…) rush over, nailing a double dropkick to GAN, knocking McNasty to his ass as Wilkie falls into the ropes. Tamika takes a few steps back, Meghan ducking beside a dazed Wilkie, nodding to her sister. Tamika runs up, Meghan giving her a boost as she flies into the air, nailing a huge flying clothesline to Wilkie. Alex flies over the top rope and into a waiting Kelser, who grabs Wilkie around the waist and nails a modified shoulderbreaker. Jeffrey Drake slides into the ring as Tamika and Meghan go to work on McNasty, slapping him across the face a couple times. They both drop back, and are immediately met with a steel chair across their backs. The Straders fall to the mat, grasping at their backs as Jeffrey turns his attention to Mark, slamming the chair into the Nasty One’s face. Mark falls through the top and middle ropes, landing on the floor.

Thunderwolf slides back into the ring, a kendo stick in hand. Drake turns, stopping mid-swing as he realizes it’s his partner behind him. Kelser drops to a knee, grabbing up Tamika. The younger Strader is lifted to her knees, then all the way to her feet. Drake swings back, aiming for Tamika, but the chair is caught as Meghan grabs it from behind. Drake turns around, getting a kick to the nads. He drops the chair, Meghan lifting it up… and McNasty grabs her from behind! Wait… McNasty falls back to the ground, holding Meghan’s top in his hands! Meghan swings the chair, slamming Drake in the back as flashes go off all over the arena. Thunderwolf is taken for a moment, which allows Tamika to nail him with a low blow. Meghan reacts quickly, hitting Thunderwolf with a DDT. Meghan gets back to her feet, Tamika trying to cover her sister. Meghan has been all but oblivious to this point, turning to see McNasty throw her top into the crowd. Meghan slides out of the ring, Tamika grabbing her arm to stop her… until Wilkie grabs Tamika’s top and rips it off! Tamika is quick to cover, but the blatant show brings Meghan’s ire to Alex… who quickly rolls out of the ring. Meghan rolls out as well, chasing Wilkie around the ring, until she turns a corner and gets clotheslined by McNasty! Wilkie rolls back into the ring, Tamika picking up the chair with one hand while trying to cover up with the other. Wilkie eyes Thunderwolf, who starts to his feet, until Tamika wildly swings the chair. Wilkie throws her top at random, ducking beneath the chair shot. Tamika drops the chair, running for her top as Thunderwolf gets up. Wilkie charges at Kelser, but is met with a forearm to the head as Jeffrey runs in to save his partner. Wilkie drops to a knee, Kelser and Drake popping up with a double dropkick that knocks Wilkie out. Drake makes the cover, but only gets two as Tamika dives in for the save.

Thunderwolf whips Tamika across the ring, McNasty diving in and nailing Kelser with a chop block. Tamika rebounds, McNasty with a quick spinebuster. He gets up, Tamika’s top getting caught on his arm and he throws it into the crowd. Drake hops up with a dropkick that knocks Mark back a few steps, into the waiting arms of Meghan Nash Strader, who hits My Friend Of Misery! McNasty is rolled out of the ring as Meghan turns her attention to Drake, Jeffrey a little distracted by the bare breasts of Meghan Nash Strader. Meghan uses the distraction to her advantage, slowly skipping across the ring. A slight smile crosses Drake’s face, until Tamika comes up from behind with a russian leg sweep. a quick cover by Tamika as Meghan surveys the ring, watching Thunderwolf and eyeing McNasty. Tamika gets a two before Wilkie comes up from outside the ring, grabbing Tamika’s hair and pulling her out of the ring. Meghan turns around, watching as Wilkie looks to Tamika…

tilts his head in interest…

and cops himself a feel. He nods in approval, looking to the crowd as they roar in cheers and laughter. Meghan doesn’t find it quite as funny, however, as her little sister is now humiliated just moments before her big wedding. Meghan shoots towards the ropes, launching herself over them and into a turning Wilkie, knocking him to the floor with a body splash. Meghan launches a flurry of fists into Wilkie’s face, Alex fading out while copping another feel. Ooo, two sisters, one night. Gotta be the luckiest night of Alex’s life… which, since he’s not paying for it with his wallet, is the gospel truth. Meghan checks on her sister, who aside from feeling a bit violated is alright. Meghan slides back into the ring, Tamika watching on the outside. Meghan goes to work on a rising Jeffrey Drake, laying in with rights and lefts. A dazed McNasty starts over, noticing Meghan smacking the shit out of Jeffrey. Meghan starts to her feet, Tamika kicking Wilkie square in the nads as he starts up. Meghan nods to her sister, but is knocked the fuck out as McNasty smacks her in the back of the head with the Lights Out! Meghan crumples to the mat, McNasty turning his attention to Tamika, who slides into the ring to meet him. He ducks under a clothesline attempt, grabbing her up as she turns around and hits a Sault Slam!! McNasty bounces to his knees from the momentum, smiling as he gets set to drop into a cover… Kelser with the Cry of the Wolf on McNasty!! Everyone else is out cold as Kelser gets up, falling over Drake and onto a prone Meghan Nash Strader.

1!!
2!!
3!!

Jenny Jersey: Here are your winners and the NEEEEWWWWW REBEL Pro World Tag Team Champions, Dustin “Thunderwolf” Kelser and Jeffrey Drake!!!

T-Wolf and Drake slowly roll out of the ring, the timekeeper handing them the REBEL Tag Titles. They slowly make their way up the ramp as the other four competitors tend to their wounds… and the ladies find themselves some shirts given generously from our fans. Cuz we may be a bunch of backwater hillbillies, but we have manners, goddammit!!

REBEL Pro World Championship Match

Emily Corlen versus Bubba J©

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall and is your Main Event of the evening for the Rebel Pro World Heavyweight Championship!

The lights in the arena cut to black as the intro to “Paid My Dues” by Anastacia hits the P.A.

You can say what you want about me
Want to do what you want to me
But you cannot stop me

As the crowd cheers loudly, green strobe lights fill the arena and Emily Corlen slowly rises up through the stage, her arms outstretched akin to wings. She sweeps her arms over her head and closes them around her mouth, screaming loudly before a single blast of pyro goes off behind her.

I’ve been knocked down it’s a crazy town
Even gotta punch in the face in L.A.
Ain’t nothin’ in the world that can keep me
From doing what I want to do
‘Cause I’m too proud, I’m too strong,
Live by the code that you gotta move on
Feeling sorry for yourself ain’t got nobody nowhere

The strobe lights slow down as Emily begins making her way down the ramp. By the time she reaches ringside, the strobe lights have completely stopped and emerald colored spotlights have begun swirling around the crowd and ring.

So I (held my head high)
Knew I (knew I’d survive)
Well I made it (I made it)
Don’t hate it (Don’t hate it)
That’s just the way it goes

After making her way around the ring once, Emily hoists herself onto the apron and enters the ring through the first and second ropes. Emily makes her way to all four corners of the ring, climbing up each and posing for the fans.

I done made it through
Stand on my own two
I paid my dues yeah
Tried to hold me down
You can’t stop me now
I paid my dues

As the lights return to normal and the music fades, Emily slowly paces around the canvas, glancing out to the still-cheering crowd and smirking.

The chorus of Saliva’s “Badass” hits up in the speakers and the Rebel-tron stays pictureless.

“Cause I’m a badass
And you don’t want to clash
Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash
Cause I’m a badass
And this war is your last
You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast”
The song transitions to the first verse.

“I need you to hear this loud and clear”

As the first lyric begins to play from Saliva’s “Badass”, Bubba J walks from the back and stares out to the crowd, his fists wrapped in tape and then dipped in broken glass.

“The line and the sand is drawn and I have no fear
When I see red all I need is a reason to set me off
To drop this bomb and pick yourself off the ground”

He slowly begins to walk down the ramp, just staring into the ring, in his own “zone” he pays very little attention to anything surrounding him. No fireworks, nothing spectacular, nothing flashy; just music and him walking.

JENNY JERSEY: From Durham, North Carolina; he stands at six feet and two inches while weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds… He is your Rebel Pro World Heavyweight Champion… “The Ragin’ Redneck” Bubba J!

Bubba J steps up the ring steps before climbing through the ropes. Bubba J then steps over to his corner, facing the entrance ramp and waiting on the damn match to begin.

“Cause I’m a badass
And you don’t want to clash
Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash
Cause I’m a badass
And this war is your last
You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast.”

Ding Ding

Bubba J and Emily are about two feet across from each other, staring daggers in to each other’s eyes. Both reach out and shove Jimmy Johnson out of the way and exchange rights and lefts. Bubba J, with his size and power advantage, backs Emily up towards the ropes. Emily is taking the brunt of this offense from Bubba J, but promptly kicks him right in the nuts; halting and doubling him over. Emily catches his bald head, running up the ropes, bringing him up and over, somehow, and both land on the floor. Emily lands on top of Bubba J’s midsection and chest with a double knee, quickly rolling off and dropping a leg across his throat. Emily pulls him up, slamming his head into the apron, before whipping him in to the railing for good measure. Emily runs at the Rebel Champion, but he lifts her up and over the railing with a back body, causing her to land on the soldiers there. The majority of them scatter, from the action that is very likely to happen next, but a few stay there. Bubba J steps over the railing, kicking her right in the face and slamming her face on to a steel chair for some added pain. Bubba J grabs herlips, doing his best to rip them off of her face before kicking her right in the stomach. Emily shoves him away, causing J to stumble from her. He spins around, Emily launches herself with a front kick, right in to his face that sends him in to the lap of some soldier. J rolls off the lap, to his hands and knees, but Emily quickly off the railing with a chair assisted leg drop sends him face first to the floor.

Linzi Martin: No blood yet, but I’ve got a feeling its coming.

Larry Gordon: You and me both, especially from the words that these two have shared.

Emily slams J’s face onto the floor once, twice, and a third time. Bubba J’s head is lifted, bits of dirt and other debris sticking to his flesh. He sends an elbow back into her midsection, causing her to release the hold. Bubba J rolls over, bringing his knee up in to her crotch, before punching her full on in the face. J continues with a second and a third punch, getting his opponent off of himself. J pulls himself up, smashing a beer bottle over her skull, but still no blood yet and these fans seem to be getting a bit rabid for some damn blood in this match. J drags her over the railing, making sure to drop her throat first across of it. J whips her in to the ring post, before piledriving her on the floor. Bubba J digs under the ring, coming out with a table, light tubes, and some thumbtacks. He sets up the table, placing the tacks and light tubes on the table for added pain. He turns around… superkick right to the chin from Emily! Emily falls down to her hands and knees, but pulls herself up quickly, coming out with a steel chair from someone at ringside; one of those empty seats. Emily closes the chair, swinging like a golf club at J’s skull, connecting with a solid shot, but still no

blood. Emily begins to dig under the ring.

Larry Gordon: Both of these two are tough as nails, neither is bleeding yet.

Linzi Martin: “Both are World Champions Larry, they show that there is something different about both of them.

Emily pulls out a ladder from under the ring, a smile coming to her face and a cheer to the crowd’s lips. Emily sets the ladder up next to the table of weaponry and begins to drag Bubba J up to the top of the ladder. He comes to and begins to exchange rights and lefts with the TGW Champion, neither willing to give an inch. Bubba J reaches down in to his pants, but Emily leans back from the Nut Sack Whack, and as she leans in for a punch, he nails her with a set of brass knuckles. Bubba J grabs her head, preparing for some type of face plant, but Emily holds on to the ladder, allowing Bubba J’s weight to dangle from the side. J kicks off the ladder, around to behind Emily, pulling her off, but she twists at the last second and the ladder topples…

Larry Gordon: Both go through the table!

Linzi Martin: I think a light bulb flew up to hit the ceiling!

Emily slams a fist in to Bubba J’s skull, but J nails her with a piece of light bulb, slicing her open even more. Both are bleeding now. Emily reels back from the pain, rolling over and secretely grabbing a piece of light bulb as well. Bubba J crawls over to her, but she surprises him with a light bulb to the cheeck, nearly slicing him down to the bone, but not that deep. Bubba J looks at the blood on his hand and a fire comes in to his eyes; Emily smiles and blows him a kiss. Emily attacks, but J is like a man on fire. He nails Emily with rights and lefts, a kick to the stomach, and a swinging neckbreaker takes her to the floor. Bubba J nails her with repeated stomps to the head, before piledriving her on the table debris and climbing up to the top of the ladder, with a steel chair in hand. He stands on the top of the ladder, but Emily manages to kick the leg, sending him toppling over, landing with his ribs on the barricade, flipping over into the crowd. Emily pulls herself up, a smile on her face, before rolling up a strand of barbed wire around her fist. She limps over to where Bubba J still isn’t moving, before hopping over the railing and nailing him with a fist in his mouth. Emily drags the wire across his face then promptly dumps him over the railing, back where most of the debris is. Emily grabs a long strand of wire, wrapping it around Bubba J’s throat and neck in a lot of loops and hopping in to the ring.

Larry Gordon: This doesn’t look good for Bubba J.

Linzi Martin: Do we call this the Rebel Pro necktie?

Emily jumps off the top turnbuckle, making sure to pull the wire tight and cause riverlets of blood to cascade down from her palm, but a flood from Bubba J’s neck and throat as he scrambles to relieve the pressure and torture. J looks and falls back, a hand around the wire, yanking Emily Corlen forward and causing the wire, in her hand, to dig in deep and blood to pour from that wound. J falls down, hanging himself, but Emily quickly releases the wire, but its still around J’s throat. He rolls onto his back, but Emily launches herself off the top rope, down on to Bubba J with a bloody seated plancha, driving his chin in to the floor. Emily, on her own offensive flurry, pulls the Ragin’ Redneck up, slamming her bloody fist in to his face, before whipping him in to the ringpost. J rebounds back, Emily with a reverse swinging neckbreaker has this match in firm control. Emily rolls up to her knees and begins to crawl for the ladder. She reaches the ladder, folding it up and dragging it towards Bubba J’s bloody body. J, for his part though, has pulled himself to a kneeling position, hand under the ring. Emily rounds the corner.

Larry Gordon: What does he have?

Bubba J answers the question with a fire extinguisher to the face, the foam going everywhere as he sprays wildly. Emily drops the ladder, stumbling away from the foam that is stinging her eyes and wounds. J stomps after her, body slamming her onto the steel ladder and climbing to the top turnbuckle slowly. J looks down, leaping off with a cannonball dive, slamming with all of his weight on to Emily Corlen and rolling off of her and slowly up to his feet. Bubba J reaches down dragging Emily up, nailing her with a right hand before rolling her in to the ring, where Jimmy Johnson is doing his best to stay out of the way of this brutality. Bubba J slides in another two tables, more light tubes, lighter fluid, a lighter, barbed wire, tacks, a stop sign, bottles, a staple gun, a cheese grater, a pizza pan, a box of salt, Tobasco sauce, rubbing alcohol, and other items of destruction and pain.

Larry Gordon: He should have been beating his opponent down instead of getting all of that weaponry.

Linzi Martin: And allowing someone of Emily’s character gain some rest and a breather.

Larry Gordon: Exactly.

J rolls in to the ring, pizza pan to the back as he gets up. J goes down to a knee, Emily with a running knee, assisted by the pizza pan, to the skull sends J onto the apron with his head hangning over the edge. Emily, leaps quickly up to the top turnbuckle, flipping off with a 360 leg drop flip across his throat and may have decapitated him! But not really, cause that’d be really hard to do. Emily lands, pulling Bubba J back up as the crowd continues to chant “Holy Shit!” at the top of their lungs. Emily drags J over to the ring steps, lifting him up and executing a picture perfect stump pulling piledriver onto the steel steps. Bubba J and Emily are both a bloody mess, but neither is willing to quit or fall prey to a pin attempt… not that there has even been one in this match.

Linzi Martin: Both wanting to prove that their words are considered fact, as far as this match is concerned.

Larry Gordon: Neither are going to quit either, its just not in their nature.

Emily rolls the bloody Bubba J back in to the ring, climbing up on the apron herself, after placing the pizza pan on his face for good measure. Emily with a launch flips over the top rope, landing crotch first on to a beer bottle from Bubba J! The bottle smashes into a million pieces, each seeming to driv in to her crotch and thighs, she rolls away in pain and out of reflex. Bubba J pursues with another weapon, that of the staple gun and cachunks his way from her ankle up to her crotch in saddistic fashion.

Linzi Martin: That… can’t… feel… good.

Larry Gordon: Does it hurt you Linzi?

Linzi Martin: Makes me want to take something for her pain.

J pulls her head close, sending the remaining ten staples right in to her cheek and lips, small pain, but they’ll continue to hurt. J pulls her up, stop sign to her face that causes her to slump in the corner. Bubba J beginst to work her over with fists and knees in to her ribs along with a few stomps for good measure until she is in a seated position. Bubba J runs across the ring, leaping up, coming down in a seated position witha bronco buster… yeah, it wasn’t pretty and not something he’s accustomed to doing. J pulls her out of the ring, laying her on a table that he quickly sets up. J digs around in the weaponry, coming out with the rubbing alcohol, tobasco sauce, and box of salt; he smiles saddistically.

Larry Gordon: Those… might sting a little bit.

Linzi Martin: They always say sting, but those damn things hurt like hell!

J pours salt into Emily’s wounds, causing her to squirm in pain, until she rolls off the table, gasping for breath. Bubba J walks around the table, his fun interrupted for the moment. Emily lifts a light bulb in to his crotch, he gulps in pain she then smashes two across the side of his face, spinning him around where she bulldogs him into a steel chair.

Linzi Martin: I think that salt in the wounds, woke her up!

Larry Gordon: That plan, may have back fired on Bubba J.

Emily pulls Bubba J up then rolls him on the table before smiling down at his prone body. Emily breaks off the top of the hot sauce bottle, and pours both it and half of the alcohol bottle onto Bubba J; who squirms himself in pain, but Emily silences his jerks with a quick elbow to his temple.

Larry Gordon: Emily rolling out of the ring for something…

Linzi Martin: But… oh no… Bubba J isn’t going to be happy or feeling good in a minute…

Larry Gordon: What is she doing with those firecrackers?

Emily rols back in to the ring, stumbling towards Bubba J, placing a beer bottle and a set of firecrackers down his pants, the fuse barely outside of his jeans. Emily then drags the ladder back in to the ring as Jimmy Johnson dives for cover on the outside of the squared battleground. Emily sets up the ladder and sets the firecrackers on fire, then climbs to the top
“BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG”

tThe firecrackers go off and die suddenly as Emily leaps off the ladder, driving a knee in to his crotch, similtaneously putting out the firecrackers, shattering the bottle, driving pieces of glass in to his crotch, and a simple nut drop.

Larry Gordon: That… I think… I’m gonna be sick…

Linzi Martin: Hurt you Larry?

Larry Gordon: Yeah… it did… and the men in this crowd too.

Several of the men are green, holding themselves from the sympathy pain as Emily tries to crawl for a cover… no, she’s crawling for the rubbing alcohol and lemon juice! She rips his now torn and bloody jeans down, pouring the contents of both bottles on his burnt, swollen, bloody, and cut crotch!

Larry Gordon: Several guys are now throwing up, this is haneous!

Linzi Martin: I’ve even got sympathy pains for him!

Emily looks up smiling saddistically herself, but J sends two fingers right in to her eyes, causing her to fall back from the sharp sudden pain. Bubba J goes after her, limping very heavily, but not about to go down without a fight. J slams her in to the corner, nailing her with brass knuckled(his favorite with thumbtacks on them) in the face over and over again; ripping her face to shreds with the force of the blows.

Larry Gordon: I think, it may have woke him up!

Linzi Martin: I think he’s fighting out of reflex!

Bubba J reaches down, dousing her with the lighter fluid and smirking as he knocks her out with a chair shot. Bubba J pulls down Emily’s trunks, emptying the rest of the fluid into her… you know.

Linzi Martin: He… wouldn’t…

Larry Gordon: I think he would… and is going too.

Now its several womens’ turn to get sympathy pains as J rolls Emily up on to his shoulders and climbs the ladder. Bubba J leaps from the top, bringing Emily over, so that his knees plant solidly in her midsection, her neck/shoulder area slamming heavily onto the canvas; not to mention the table that they both went through.

Larry Gordon: How are both continuing to fight?

Linzi Martin: As tough as both are, I think its sheer reflex.

Bubba J crawls over to the lighter, sparking it to life and.. setting Emily on fire!

The crowd gasps as both go up in flame, some of the fluid haven gotten on Bubba J!

Larry Gordon: This has got to be stopped!

Linzi Martin: Only you, Simon, or a victor can stop this match!

Larry Gordon: Nope, only a winner will, they both signed a waiver!

Bubba J can’t make a cover, he’s too busy putting out the flames. Emily can’t do anything, she’s doing the same! Emily stumbles into Bubba J, they begin to exchange rights and lefts again, a lot weaker than when they first started the match, but still with as much determination They both stumble to the ladder, fighting as they climb it up to the top, both looking for some sort of advantage and looking to end this match… and perhaps the other’s career. Emily with a thumb to his eyes and a chop to the throat gets the advantage for the moment.

Linzi Martin: Emily’s not wasting any more time, she’s going for the Down in Flames!

Bubba J counters it! He bites Emily’s thigh, she releases the pedigree finisher!

Larry Gordon: Trailer Park Trash!

Bubba J falls on Emily, driving the wind out of both him and her, but he’s in position and so is Jimmy Johnson.

One…

Two…

Three.

Ding Ding Ding

“Badass” hits back up in the building as Jenny Johnson hands the bloody,

beaten, scarred, and burnt Bubba J his Rebel Pro World Title.

Jenny Jersey: Winner of the match…. and STIIIIIIIIIIIILL Rebel Pro World Heavyweight Champion…. Bubba J!

The fans are on their feet, cheering for both people as Bubba J falls back in the corner, his eyes closed and just trying to gather himself, Emily rolls out of the ring, staring back in at the destruction that was her most recent match.

You Either Win or You Die

We fade backstage, just as we see Simon Kalis adjusting the black tie around his neck. He stands magnificent in stature, beaming as he adjusts the collar to his pure white Armani suit. Masakazu holds up a matching white eye patch, which Simon takes and places over the left side of his face. Maya wipes the tears from her eye, make no mistake they are tears of joy.

Masakazu: You ready?

Simon Kalis: I’ve waited for this night for too long, Adrian.

Simon grabs the AK-47 he’s been carrying all night, just as there’s a knock on the door.

Maya: That better not be Tamika!

Larry Gordon enters, all smiles.

Larry Gordon: Simon!

Simon Kalis: Larry!

Simon goes for a hug, but Larry quickly steps back.

Larry Gordon: Careful where you point that thing.

Kalis clutches the AK, before propping the barrel of the gun against his shoulder.

Simon Kalis: Now you know this is only for Masters.

Gordon gauges the look on Masa and Maya’s faces, before turning back to Simon.

Larry Gordon: Yes, I know. But the show is basically over, and the Masters are no where to be seen.

Simon Kalis: Precisely because I’ve been waving around a loaded assault rifle all night, Larry.

Larry Gordon: This is a wrestling show in the core Simon. I’m sure we’ll be getting a huge enough fine from the AoWF for this entire fiasco all night. Please…

Simon holds the gun in both hands now, as Larry steps forward and places his hands over the barrel.

Larry Gordon: Please, Simon. If not for the fact you’re about to get married, then just as a favour… From one friend, to another?

Kalis pauses to think, his grin disappears and then reappears. He places the AK-47 down and hugs Larry.

Simon Kalis: Anything for you Larry.

Simon smiles towards Larry, genuine and sincere.

Simon Kalis: Come now, we’ve got a grand union to witness.

Mas, Maya and Simon exit the room but Larry Gordon lingers momentarily. He looks down at the weapon, then clears his throat, picking up his cell phone and quietly sends out a text message, smiling as we fade to ringside.

The Red Wedding

The ringside area has been transformed, a grand white altar built, it’s archway wrapped beautifully in an assortment of flowers both local to Afghanistan and more known to our American audience. Jebby Jersey stands off towards a corner, waiting to introduce Simon and Tamika as husband and wife. A gentle old priest stands dead center. To his left, Simon Kalis stands tall, firm and proud. His best man, Masakazu, beside him. Followed by Tamika’s twin brother, John Nash Strader, Dustin “Thunderwolf” Kelser and D.L Slayton. To the priests right, Meghan Nash Strader beams for having been given the prestige of being the maid of honour. Next to her is Anna Mathews, who locks eyes with Meghan as Meghan gives Anna a very inviting wink. Anna has this adorably retarded look on her face. Adorable Anna is adorable.

Larry Gordon: Did Meghan just wink at Anna?! Could that mean…?

Linzi Martin: Nah.

To the next of her stands Maya, showing off a new tongue ring to the cameras bringing about an audible eye roll from Simon Kalis himself.

Linzi Martin: This is such a beautiful moment, ladies and gentlemen.

Larry Gordon: It is Linzi. This is the birth of more than just a new union of two souls. This night will forever be remembered as a turning point in REBEL Pro’s five year history.

The camera pans the guests, some of whom are very recognizable. Daniel “Rayn” Kalis sits next to some skank he brought. A little further on we see Jeffrey Drake, although he seems as if he‘s there begrudgingly. A little further past him, we see The Order of Chaos’ newest member Reece Paxton as well, all smiles. The music begins, and Simon cracks a huge smile as Tamika Nash Strader appears atop the entrance ramp. Her white flowing gown forms to her magnificent body, flowing outwards behind her at the back. Scott Nash Strader has her by the arm, as he escorts his daughter towards the altar.

Simon Kalis: My god she is beautiful.

Kalis clears his throat and smiles.

Larry Gordon: Now the reason folks have heard Simon speaking is, both Simon and Tamika have microphones attached to them so we may hear their every word.

Linzi Martin: We’re cool like that!

Tamika and Scott stop together. She looks up at her father and nods, smiling. He smiles back, proudly, and lets her go. He steps back, as Tamika makes her way to stand before Simon Kalis.

Priest: This day, we witness the union of more than two great families. We witness the union of more than two people, of more than two lovers. We bare witness to the union of two souls.

Behind the priest at either side, are two white candles. Simon takes one, Tamika takes the other.

Priest: Vibrancy and life burns within these two warriors, who through the harsh reality of blood and sweat have found a deeper purpose and calling within each other. We therefore stand back, before the eyes of God and men alike, to bare witness to these two flames as they become-

Tamika and Simon hold their candles towards each other, and the two separate flames become one.

Priest: One.

Simon Kalis: Now you will feel no rain, as I will be your shelter.

Tamika Nash Strader: Now you will feel no cold, as I will be your warmth.

Simon Kalis: Now you will feel no loneliness, as I shall be your companion.

Tamika Nash Strader: We were but two people, but now we have one life ahead of us.

Larry Gordon drops his headset, his smile quickly disappears and he leaves Linzi Martin alone. Linzi’s eyes widen, unsure of what to make of this.

Simon Kalis: May beauty surround us both in the journey ahead, and through all the years.

Larry Gordon hops onto the ring apron.

Tamika Nash Strader: May happiness be our companion, and our days together be long on this Earth.

Simon Kalis: I promise you Tamika, I will treat you as I treat my guns and polish that pussy every night baby.

The crowd laughs, the Priest blushes. Scott Nash Strader has a beer in hand, and chugs it to drown out those words from Simon.

Tamika Nash Strader: I promise to look after you as well my leather, and ride you as often as my Harley.

Another laugh from the crowd, another swig of beer for big daddy Scott Nash Strader. Larry Gordon is now behind the altar, behind the priest. No one is really paying attention to him.

Priest: Well. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

The priest turns to Simon.

Priest: You may kiss the bride.

Simon Kalis leans forward, grabbing Tamika by the waist and pulling her in towards him. The crowd is on their feet cheering as they share a passionate kiss at the head of the altar.

Linzi Martin: OH MY GOD!

Larry Gordon slips on two pairs of brass knuckles, and throws the Priest from the altar in the ring to the ground. Kalis turns with shock, breaking the kiss, just as Larry Gordon cracks him in the face. Tamika shrieks, Simon falls back but he’s caught by Masakazu. Suddenly from the crowd, a number of U.S. Soldiers jump the barricades and begin to surround the ring. Except when they remove their helmets and face coverings…

Linzi Martin: IT’S THE MASTERS OF ARMAGEDDON!!!

Simon Kalis looks around, and quickly yells out to the security forces surrounding the ring.

Simon Kalis: GET THEM! FUCK THEM UP!

They all look to one another. The Masters stand before them, waiting for their move. Simon turns to Larry Gordon, shock and disgust wrinkling his face. Gordon shakes his head and points at the wedding guests.

Larry Gordon: NOW!

The security forces begin to attack all of the wedding guests. The Masters surround the ring. Simon goes to grab Tamika but Larry Gordon cracks him again, and again, in the face until he falls to his knees. The security forces quickly begin using their tasers on The Order of Chaos. Wedding guests scatter, Drake tackles one of the security guards down but four more surround him and begin bashing him with their batons. Anna Mathews throws herself from the altar and body splashes onto all of them. Thunderwolf helps launch Masakazu in the opposite direction and he lands on a group of security. Only to find himself being overwhelmed as three more replace the two he took down.

Linzi Martin: What the fuck?! What the fuck?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Tamika, Meghan and Maya all join the fray but find themselves quickly tasered, with batons to the face of each. Emily Corlen and Bubba J, who just had an incredible match, work together on two security officers but find themselves overwhelmed from behind by four others. The Masters are all there, and all watching with pleasantly approving smiles. Fley nods in Gordon’s direction, as Gordon nods back. Simon Kalis stands in the center of the ring, watching the carnage unfold helplessly. Scott Nash Strader swings his beer bottle at a security officer, who ducks it and then tasers him for his troubles. D.L. Slayton takes down two security officers with a double clothesline, only to run into a taser himself.

Linzi Martin: Why?

Simon finally turns to face Larry Gordon, as all the wedding guests find themselves tasered and then handcuffed. Larry Gordon drops to his knees, and then proceeds to punch Kalis right in the family jewels, brass knuckles and all. Kalis drops to his knees, Larry gets back up and cracks him over the face again. Now he’s bleeding. Larry lifts him up by his collar, and raises a fist high in the air behind him.

Simon Kalis: Why?

Larry Gordon: You should never have trusted me, Simon.

Gordon cracks Kalis over the face and drops him to the canvas. The entire Order of Chaos find themselves handcuffed now. As do the two Charms Anna Mathews and Jeffrey Drake in attendance, and Thunderwolf as well. The Masters, consisting of Enika Engel, Duncan Aries, Jaice Wilds, Nightstryker, Silverback, Johnny Chaos and The Brutal all enter the ring, and encircle the downed Simon Kalis and a Scott Nash Strader who was dragged there by The Brutal and Johnny Chaos.

Linzi Martin: Larry… Why Larry?

Fley, having finally worked his way through the mass of bodies enters the ring and moves up behind Larry. He pats Gordon on the back and then throws an arm around his shoulders. Behind Fley and Gordan stands a hooded figure of fair height. The build is definitely masculine and athletic. What’s most important about this figure though is that he’s carrying a sledge hammer. We’ll get to him later.

Fley: Simon, I just wanted to be the first to congratulate you on this momentous occasion. I’m sure you’ll remember this night for the rest of your lives together. But I do want to make sure that you’re together for this though.

With that Fley looks over his shoulder and signals to Fallen Angle. Nathan, just happens to be standing next to the unconscious Tamika and so bends down to retrieve her. Ripping away the fringe of her gown, and exposing her gartered legs, he throws her up over his shoulder and makes for the ring. An injured Kalis tries to lunge to to his feet at Fley, but the hooded figure behind Faust is faster and is able to drop a knee into Simon’s face, thus putting him on his back. Fley returns his attention to Kalis.

Fley: Tsk, tsk… none of that tonight, Kalis. Mr. Gordon, here saw to everything. He’s responsible for making sure this night will end as we want it to end. Not with a bang, but your whimpers.

Fallen Angel, finally reaches the ring and with Tamika still over his shoulder pulls himself up on the apron and steps over the ropes. He unceremoniously drops her to the canvas before him and then grabbing her by the hair yanks her back to her feet. Her eyes blaze open and she yelps in pain, but with her hands cuffed behind her she can do little more than sway on her feet. Fley looks from Tamika to Simon.

Fley: Hmm… something doesn’t feel right. I think… yes. Larry, we forgot about the most important piece to the puzzle!

Gordon smiles and nods approvingly and Fley signals to the back. It’s then that absent Lucious Starr finally makes his appearance, but he doesn’t arrive alone. No, he arrives with Kvlt Drachen behind him, and stretched between them an old wooden cross… man sized. A coil of barbwire rests around Kvlt’s left bare shoulder… a large dark duffel bag upon his right.

Linzi Martin: Oh no… they can’t possibly… no…

In the ring Tamika starts to trash against her bonds. Kalis tries to make another move, but Enika’s book on his shoulder keeps him down. Scott is still out cold from the tazer shot. Not to fear though, he’ll be awake soon enough. Let’s let him sleep for now.

Fley: I wish it didn’t have to happen this way. I wish people would have just welcomed us with open arms and allowed us back into our rightful spot. Instead, you pissed of the Old Man, you pissed off Mr. Gordon here, and now this is what we’re left with. I really, really didn’t want this to happen. You have to believe me. You just didn’t leave us with any other options in the matter. Banning us Kalis? Really?

Starr looks towards the ring, towards Kalis, with a wicked smile on his face. He pats the cross and mouths the words, “For you, boss.” Kvlt, walks on admiring all the carnage caused here tonight. They reach ringside and start to slide the cross into the ring.

Fley: But that really wasn’t your downfall, General. No, where it all fell apart for you was when you assumed that Mr. Gordon here would be okay with you continuing to control HIS federation. Really? You thought THAT would be a good idea? The RPW has been and will forever be, Mr. Gordon’s. All we did was help to remind him of that. You can rest your undoing at his feet.

The cross is laid beneath the arched alter. Chaos and Silverback move towards Kalis, and grabbing him by the ankles start to drag him towards the cross. Simon tries to fight back, but the heel of Nightstryker’s boot finds its way to Kalis’ face, and that stops all resistance. Fley looks over to Tamika who still struggles in Fallen Angels grasp.

Fley: I am sorry about all of this. Especially this next thing. But you do look beautiful tonight, despite the damage to your dress.

He looks away from her and back over his shoulder to Nightstryker and the hooded man.

Fley: Bring him.

Bryce and the hooded man, dragging his sledge hammer along with him, grab SNS by his arms and start to drag him across the ring to the ropes. There they secure his wrists to the bottom rope with handcuffs and then step back, forming a half circle around him with Fley. Fallen Angel starts to drag Tamika over towards her father.

Over by the alter an unconscious Kalis is dragged onto the cross. Kvlt starts to uncoil the barbwire as Starr, Silverback and Chaos hold Simon down on the cross.

Linzi Martin: Oh no…

Simon’s first screams begin and Tamika’s hed whips in that direction, her own screams coming. In fact most everyone is focused on that now even despite what’s about to happen to Scott. Kvlt’s grin is wide as he pulls the first strand of barbwire tighter and tighter until it eats into flesh.

Fley reaches out and starts to gently tap Strader about the face with his metal staff, The Machine. Slowly, ever so slowly, Scott starts to come to. At first he looks about him bewildered, but once his memory comes back to him fully he lunges at Fley, but is quite effectively held in place by the cuffs. Fley smiles down at him, but it’s Fallen Angel who speaks.

Fallen Angel: It may take awhile, but I always finish what I begin. Enjoy the agony, Scott.

Fley and Nightstryker drop down to their knees and each grab hold of one of Straders legs. Fallen Angel lets Tamika fall to the mat and then slams the back of a chair down between Strader’s knees. Strader looks down to the chair, up to Fallen Angel and then over to the hooded figure who finally lets his hood fall back and raises the sledge hammer.

More screams from Kalis.

Linzi Martin: NOOOO!

Tamika joins Linzi as the sledgehammer falls and crashes into the side of Strader’s left knee. The scream that erupts from him is everything you think it should be. In fact he almost passes out but his hatred of the men in front of him keep him conscious… barely. If you’ve seen Misery you know then that that initial blow is probably enough, but the sledgehammer is raised again and brought down on the right knee. Strader screams again, but then goes silent, but that’s okay because Tamika screams for him.

Simon’s screams join in with hers.

Linzi Martin: I think I’m going to be sick…

It’s then that we can finally focus in on the man with the sledgehammer. A man whose shoulder Fley places his hand on as he pushes himself back up to his feet. A man named, Trevor Bryce.

Fley: Vicious, ladies and gentlemen. Isn’t he a peach?

Together, Fallen Angel, Nightstryker, Vicious and Fley look down to Strader and his ruined knees. However, the screams of one Simon Kalis, pull their attention away and they turn their backs to him and join with the other Masters to watch Kvlt’s masterpiece. Behind them Tamika, with her hands still bound behind her, scoots towards her father… tears and makeup streaming down her face.

A rope is thrown over the top of the archway and The Brutal, Jaice Wilds and Duncan Aries start to pull on it…

Fley: Behold. Simon Kalis. All he does is win.

It’s then that Kalis comes into view strapped to an inverted cross by barbwire. Barbwire that is pulled so tightly that it has started to cut into the skin. The cross is raised to the very height of the archway and tied off at the turnbuckle. Tiny drops of blood begin to splatter the canvas. Kvlt, unzips his duffel bag and starts to pass out florescent tube bulbs to every Master present.

Fley: All hail you, Kali. All hail you.

Eleven florescent bulbs shatter at once across Kalis’ body. Lucious Starr, takes the remainder of his shattered bulb and smashes it into Simon’s face. Tamika’s cries and rage and sorrow can still be heard over the PA-system. The Masters watch Klvt’s handiwork for another moment and then together they turn and start for the exit.

On his way out, and just because she seems to be in the way, Kvlt smashes the remainder of his florescent

bulb into Jenny Jersey’s face. The petite ring announcer, who’d been quietly standing in her corner this whole time, watching in horror, goes down like a sack of potatoes as her hands fly up to cover a bloody mess.

Linzi Martin: What the fuck!? What the fuck is going on here!?!

Tamika, starts to contort herself around until she’s able to bring her bound hands forward by getting them under her feet. Torn, she leaves her fathers side to go to Simon’s destroyed body. She tries to pull at the wire encasing Kalis’ body, trying to find a place to start from where she can undo it, but all she manages to do is prick her fingers.

She falls to her knees before him placing them face to face. Only his Order of Chaos eye patch clear against the backdrop of his brutalized face. She reaches up to wipe the blood from his face and then stops… realizing how much glass is embedded in the flesh there. Instead she just cradles his head in her hands. Crying hysterically.

Meghan, one wrist bloody and raw where she’d managed to pull her hand free of the cuff, is just as anxious and unprepared, as she forcefully pulls her father Scott Nash Strader into her own arms. Scott, jerks awake and looks towards Tamika and Simon, painfully turning away before he looks up at Meghan. The microphone attached to his chest is still working.

Scott Nash Strader: My legs… I can’t walk. I can’t get up.

Meghan holds her father close, as Tamika rocks back and forth with Simons head in her hands. Bolt cutters finally made there way out from the back to free everyone else who was cuffed tonight. Masakazu, Emily Corlen, Bubba J, D.L. Slayton and Reece Paxton all rise to their feet and survey the carnage. Emily grabs onto Mas’ shoulder, but Masakazu posses nothing but a cold and dead look in his eyes as he looks down at his father strapped in barbwire to the cross. Anna Mathews moves to enter the ring, but Jeffrey Drake grabs her by the arm and shakes his head. Thunderwolf merely nods in the direction of Masakazu, before turning around to look up at the ramp.

Tamika Strader-Kalis: Wake up Simon. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

Drake and Matthews turn towards the entrance ramp, as does the rest of the Order of Chaos except Tamika and Meghan. Meghan still holds onto her father. Scott Nash Strader looks up at Simon Kalis, his new son in laws blood dripping down all over Meghan and himself. The Masters disappear, and as they do the two Order of Chaos flags that flank the REBELTron suddenly drop and flutter down. Tamika, what’s left of her dress now stained in Simon’s blood as she holds his head up carefully, for any sign of life. David Slayton kneels down with Meghan and grabs hold of Scott Nash Strader’s free hand, nodding in this moment of clarity. Masakazu kneels down next to Tamika, trying to pull her from Simon. Tamika just looks back, fire and tears and blood in her eyes. Even Anna Mathews gasps from just outside the ring as she beholds The Masters and especially Kvlt Drachens masterpiece. There is no cocky grin from Jeffrey Drake. Not now.

Linzi Martin: Ladies and gentlemen… This is Linzi Martin. Signing off for Birthday Bash 2012… Blood.

Linzi Martin takes a deep breath.

Linzi Martin: Blood in the Sand.

Over the REBELTron, a new banner unfurls as we fade away to one last shot of the crucified Simon Kalis’ lifeless body, with his father in law, legs broken, woefully holding tight to Meghan Nash Strader as he gazes up with everyone else. The cameras point to the REBELTron, and the new banner which has unfurled covering it entirely…

 

…S…U…P…R…E…M…E…

QUICK RESULTS

Jamie Shields defeats Electra, putting his career back on a winning track.
Kvlt Drachen defeats Mackhammer, Gold, Lee and Spades. Mackhammer becomes the new FB Champion.
Anna Mathews defeats Jaice Wilds by drowning him in skittles. Lovely.
Thunderwolf & Jeffrey Drake defeat The Cowgirls from Hell & Grade A Nastyness, becoming the new RPW Tag Team Champions.
Bubba J defeats Emily Corlen and retains the REBEL Pro World Title.