Birthday Bash 2011

The scene fades from the Durham 8 TV News commercial into a scene out of some action packed sports event. The cage is massive in size, destructive in its weaponry, and ready to possibly end a career or two here tonight. The cage stands over fifty feet tall and has over three miles of barbed wire woven through the chain link type fence that is the foundation of this behemoth.

JENNY JERSEY(voice over): Tonight we are promised a new World Champion…

The camera moves in from the top of the bleachers here at Durham County Stadium, in Durham North Carolina.

JENNY JERSEY: All Rebel Pro competitors in the event, but only two will be walking out a Rebel Pro Champion.

The scene cuts to the middle cage where the Aggression Championship is wrapped in sort of a barbed wire cage of its own, making sure that if anyone wants the championship; they are going to have to earn it.

JENNY JERSEY: Will the malicious magician come out to defend her Aggression title?

The camera shoots to the top cage, showing the World Title in a glass case, but nothing in the cage to break the glass with.

JENNY JERSEY: Or will she walk out with more?

Simon Kalis’ face fades in, briefly showing him making the title gesture from the most recent episode of Aggression.

JENNY JERSEY: The same question can be asked of Simon Kalis…

Chad Kurtis fades into view, being quickly followed by Jacob Venar…

JENNY JERSEY: Can the returning Chad Kurtis regain his past glory as World Champ? Can Jacob Venar become a two time Rebel Pro Champion?

Ominous music plays through the speakers, both on the field and piped into the recording as the filming takes place.

JENNY JERSEY: Only the end of the night will answer the question… But for now…

The music reaches a peak, turning into hard guitar riffs, bringing the adrenaline up to a fever pitch.

JENNY JERSEY: Lets! Get! Ready!

The scene cuts to the cage, not much change except for that the place is packed to the top of the bleachers, the field around the cage is packed, and about six ambulances are ready to take away the injured. Jenny stands center ring, microphone in hand.

JENNY JERSEY: Durham, North Carolina! Are?! You?! Ready?!

They sound like they are ready, they begin stomping and a chant breaks out on the field, slowly moving up to the bleacher seats.

“RebeLisa Pro! RebeLisa Pro! RebeLisa Pro! RebeLisa Pro! RebeLisa Pro! RebeLisa Pro! RebeLisa Pro! RebeLisa Pro! RebeLisa Pro!”

Jenny turns around, allowing the microphone to pick up the chanting from all of the various sides; smiling she brings the microphone back up to her lovely blood red lips…

JENNY JERSEY: Without further adue… introducing the Rebel Pro Announce team…

“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers as from the football team’s lockerroom comes cialis online both Mikey Massacre and Bubba J to the roar of the crowd. Taking their seats at a plain folding table, they put on their headsets as the song fades into…

“I Hear the Voices” by Uriah Heap hits up the speakers set around the stadium and the crowd pop huge ffor the man walking down to the ring.

JENNY JERSEY: From Miller’s Trailer Park, right here in Durham; he stands at six feet three inches and weighs in at two hundred and forty pounds… BOBBY LEE!

Bobby looks up at the gigantic structure and gulps visibly before stepping in.

BUBBA J: Bobby Lee doesn’t look like he wants into this match very much.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Looks like a possible career ender in there, will there be enough of anyone left for next week’s Aggression?

BUBBA J: Doubt it Mikey, we might have to strap the boots on for the show.

“Anthem for the Underdog” by 12 Stones hits up and the crowd, even as large as they are, give a very mixed reaction; Jacob has quite a few supporters.

JENNY JERSEY: From British Columbia, Canada; he stands at six feet two inches and weighs in at two hundred and forty pounds… “THE FALCON” JACOB VENAR!

MIKEY MASSACRE: If Jacob wants to regain the belt, he’s got to fight the longest match of his career as somehow he got unlucky number two.

BUBBA J: Luck of the draw, except for Simon, the egotistical maniacal assholeing sumbitch that he is.

MIKEY MASSACRE: You don’t like Simon much, do you?

BUBBA J: If he burnt you, drug you behind a vehicle, and then beat you down some more… would you?

MIKEY MASSACRE: I’d probably hold a grudge, so I’m guessing you two don’t exchange Christmas cards?

Jacob looks up buy generic cialis at the cage with a smile on his face before stepping in and allowing Alan Stone to lock the door behind him. Jacob stares up into the ring at Bobby Lee, who is still looking around at the weapons hanging from the cage walls and knowing the destruction they are going to cause.

DING DING

Jacob from behind with a steel chair sends Lee’s face smashing into the turnbuckle, but Venar is quick to pull Lee up and smash him in the face with a forearm shot rocking his head back on his neck. Irish whip sends Lee across the ring, but he ducks under the clothesline attempt sending a kick back into Jacob’s lower back causing him to stumble forward into the ropes. Jacob spins around charging at Lee who leap frogs over the charging Venar. Lee comes down sweeping Venar’s legs out from under him, but Jacob jumps up, coming down with an elbow onto Lee’s head for a counter attack. Venar pulls him up, whipping him into the ropes and sending him sliding to crotch hiimself on the corner post with a hurricanrana. Jacob is up again, heading up top for a big move.

BUBBA J: Jacob taking no prisoner here in the early going, putting it all out on the table.

MIKEY MASSACRE: If he can wear Lee down, it’ll allow him to rest for the rest of the match and who really counts, in his opinion.

BUBBA J: Dr. Massacre, the psychiatrist.

Venar leaps out…

SPREAD! MY! WINGS!

Connects solidly with Lee, but there is no reason for a pin, instead Jacob takes the time to sit up on the top turnbuckle and rest for the next person to come into the Kingdom of Death match. He doesn’t have to wait long as…

“Higher” hits up in the speakers and from the back to a big pop from the crowd is the little hardcore Mexican himself, El Gato! The high flying Mexican superstar runs down to the ring with a barbed wire wrapped sombrero on his head as Alan Stone begins to unlock the door.

JENNY JERSEY: From Mexico City, Mexico; he stands at five feet five inches and weighs in at one hundred fifty-five pounds… EL GATO!

Gato steps into the ring, but Venar is waiting and slams his shoulder into him from the top turnbuckle, cutting himself on the sombrero and its barbed wires. Jacob picks up the hat, grinding it into Gato’s face, but he receives a kick into his balls for his efforts, falling back into the ring steps. Gato up quickly, leaping to the apron, rolling down Venar with a swift kick to his chin for really good measure. Venar rolls off the steps and is face first on the ground, trying to pull himself up, a small trickle of blood coming from his temple where the wire cut him just a moment ago. Gato is up and ripping a cattle prod from the wall and brandishing it like a fencing sword, pointing it right at Jacob’s ass, reading himself to use it. Jacob is on his hands and knees, El Gato pointing the prod and touching it to Jacob’s ass…

BUBBA J: Bobby Lee coming flying over the top, sending El Gato into the cage with a plancha thingy!

MIKEY MASSACRE: I had forgotten about Bobby Lee for the moment, evidently, Gato and Venar had as well!

The crowd roars as Lee lifts Gato up vertically, but Gato twists around, coming down with an inverted DDT move; however he slams his knees into Lee’s back lifting hiim up as he falls backwards. Lee’s midsection lands on a clump of dirt.

KABOOM!

Dirt and blood fly up into the air as the first of the C4 explosives have been found here in the match. Bobby Lee is screaming in pain and holding at his blody front.

BUBBA J: The baby is screaming like his guts are falling out.

MIKEY MASSACRE: It feels like they are.

BUBBA J: It isn’t enough to do much harm.

MIKEY MASSACRE: But it can feel like that.

Gato comes flying with a kick to Bobby’s face just as Venar comes with a kick from behind; effectively sandwiching his head between the two boots.

“Judith” by Perfect Circle hits up into the speakers elliciting a stadium full of boos as Jason Christopher comes from the back, acting all holier than thou on his way to the ring.

JENNY JERSEY: From Mobile, Alabama; he stands at six feet one inch while weighing in at two hundred and fifteen pounds… JASON CHRISTOPHER!

Jason eyes the cage with disgust, hating the hardcore violence it is encouraging before stepping into the match. Jason with a quick roundhouse takes El Gato out of the equation for the time being. Jacob looks up right into a forearm from the Alabamian that rocks his head on his neck. Jason with a whip sends Jacob into the cage, the barbs tearing at his flesh as he rebounds with murder in his eyes. Jason ducks under hooking the leg and sending Venar down with a Northern Lights suplex onto the ground.

KABOOM!

Another C4 explosive charge sends both Venar and Christopher rolling from the impact, both bleeding from the slight explosion.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Any idea how many of those there might be?

BUBBA J: Not sure, but they’ll probably be like Easter eggs, they’ll find some in the fall during a football game.

Jason picks himself, stumbling over to Venar, slamming his foot down on the back of his head. Jacob slams a chop into Jason’s inner thigh sending him down to one knee on the ground. Jacob rolls over sending both feet into Jason’s face causing him to fall flat on his back. El Gato digs under the ring, pulling out a ladder just as Bobby Lee whimpering pulls out a wooden table. Gato and Lee look at each other, and come together. Lee spits in Gato’s face, nailing him right in the nuts with a vicious field goal kick.

BUBBA J: And its…. good!

Gato doubles over in pain, Lee lifting and slamming him front first onto the ladder with a loud clanging sound. Lee climbs the side of the cage, falling down after he is about fifteen feet up with an elbow drop onto Gato driving his face into the ladder with an elbow drop. Lee rolling off gets up to his feet, getting nailed in the back with a missile dropkick from Venar and the top rope. Lee’s face slams hard into the cage wall, tearing the flesh with the sharp barbs as he slides down; creating rivers of blood to drip on the ground. Venar is up again, leaping to the apron and scampering up top to dive off on Jason Christopher with a flipping plancha. Jason swings upwards with a kick, catching Jacob just under the chin, The Falcon falling like a rock to the ground.

BUBBA J: What a kick!

“Pink Panther” theme picks up on the sound system as from the back to a mixed reaction, but more boos than cheers, is the Rob Robinson protege; Scottie “The Panther” Snow.

JENNY JERSEY: From Memphis, Tennessee; he stands at five feet ten inches and weighs in at two hundred and fifteen pounds… SCOTTIE “THE PANTHER” SNOW!

Scottie makes his way to the cage door and refuses to get into the environment, mentioning something about his contract. Referee Alan Stone seems to listen, until accidentally shoving Snow into the cage and locking the door. Scottie looks at Alan Stone with fury and confusion written on his face. Jason Christopher spins Snow around, nailing him in the chest with a chop. Love him or hate him, Christopher gets a “Wooooooo” from the capacity crowd. Christopher with a second chop, a third, and a fourth before whipping Snow towards the ring. Snow slams hard into the steel post before Christopher rolls him under the bottom rope. Christopher bends down, Snow with a foreign object in the shape of brass knuckles nails Christopher in the face busting his nose; possibly breaking it in the process. Christopher falls back, fury and pain in his eyes. Snow with a swift karate kick rocks Jason’s head to the side and Snow with a monkey flip has Christopher into the center of the ring. El Gato from the apron springs to the top rope and flipping over with a leg drop across Jason’s throat.

MIKEY MASSACRE: That guy is extremely agile.

BUBBA J: Most Mexican people are.

MIKEY MASSACRE: That is a bit prejudice.

BUBBA J: Like they can understand me.

MIKEY MASSACRE: I want it to be known that I do not agree or condone what this man is saying.

Gato gets up, playing to the crowd as Snow yells at him from behind. Gato spins around…

SNOW PLOW!

Gato folds up like an accordion, Snow a bit surprised at his own initiative looks down. Bobby Lee sits up against the cage, not wanting to get back into this type of match and he doesn’t have to as long as he stays in the cage like a good boy. Venar gets up, rolling inside the ring behind Snow, who is still looking down shocked, but slowly growing confident in his abilities. Snow turns around looking for another adversary.

FALCON PUNCH!

Snow doesn’t stay confident long, instead its his turn to crumple to the canvas, out cold from the punch. Venar turns around, breathing heavily and already covered in blood, sweat, and dirt from the match. Venar looks for someone to do battle with…

“They Say I’m Cocky!”

Here’s the man for him and Venar smiles knowingly as from the back to the biggest ovation in Rebel Pro history is none other than “The Show” Chad Kurtis!

JENNY JERSEY: From Durham, North Carolina; he stands at six feet three inches and weighs in at two hundred and thirty pounds… “THE SHOW” CHAD KURTIS!

Chad sprints down to the ring, darting inside the cage as soon as Alan Stone has it open; never breaking his stride. Chad looks up into the ring as Venar stands there, having cleared the ring, and awaits battle with “The Show” Chad steps through the ropes, collar and elbow with Jacob. Chad with a fast go behind into a hammerlock, but Jacob with a counter of a wristlock of his own. Chad rolls forward, flips back, but Jacob stops it all with a kick into Show’s midsection, trying to cause him to stumble at least once. Chad runs up the corner, flipping over and catching Venar in a headlock, bringing him down with a tornado DDT.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Damn, what speed from Chad.

BUBBA J: He should have it, he’s been resting up for months, the damn faker.

Chad up and off the ropes with a baseball slide into Venar’s head that rolls him over onto his back. Chad off the top rope…

BEST! MOONSAULT! EVER!

Chad is up quickly and here comes Scottie with The Snow Plow! Chad with a leap frog over Snow and a duck under Jason’s clothesline attempt. Show springing from the middle rope catches Christopher in the face with an enzeguri sending him to one knee. Chad off the ropes Shining Wizard takes Jason down. However Snow is back on the hunt and ready to deliver a crushing blow to “The Show” in his return. Snow leaps forward with another Snow Plow attempt.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Snow with a Snow Plow attempt!

BUBBA J: But Show showing how he was faking by leap frogging again.

Snow turns around, a third attempt.

BLUEGRASS BREEZE!

Snow is down, Chad rolling up. Jacob Venar with a spear sends Chad through the ropes! Jacob manages to catch the rope, preventing himself from going through to the outside. Jacob bounces off the opposite ropes, coming flying over the top with a suicide dive onto “The Show” sending him spinning away into the barbed wire cage siding!

MIKEY MASSACRE: It didn’t take Chad long and he’s already bleeding.

BUBBA J: Yeah, but he’ll probably take off six months now; you know how much of a pansy he is.

Chad pulls himself out of the wrie, firing off a series of rights and forearms to Jacob’s face backing him up against the ring apron. Chad leaps up to the apron, firing off a kick to the back of his skull. Jacob telegraphs, Dragon Screw Legwhip from the apron as Chad falls to the floor. Chad manages to get back up, kick to the face sends him back down. Chad rolls out of the way of an elbow drop, but Jacob kips back up to his feet, side kick to Chad, but Kurtis catches the foot pounding Jacob in the side of the skull with a forearm, Jacob with an enzeguri causes Chad to plant his face into the ground being churned up by the two combatents. Jacob leaps back up, pulling Chad up with him.

BUBBA J: Oh my gawd!

El Gato flying over the top rope with a steel ladder assisted suicide dive! The ladder slams into both Chad and Jacob sending them into the cage and bouncing back as El Gato spins the ladder around catching Jacob in the ribs and Chad in the face busting him open even more. Chad falls down, Jacob into the cage rebounding with flying fists. El Gato, ladder still in his grip, drops to one knee shoving the ladder into his midsection doubling him over. Scottie Snow leaps from the top rope with a steel chair bringing it down on Venar’s back sending his mouth onto Gato’s knee and Venar is out cold here, but strangely smiling.

“Animals” by Nickelback pumps into the speakers and from the back is the Brazilian Sensation himself, Jaice Wilds!

JENNY JERSEY: From Puerto Vehlo, Brazil; he stands at five feet six inches while weighing in at one hundred and eighty-four pounds… JAICE WILDS!

Jaice comes into the cage, looking for someone to attack or somewhere to leap from; he doesn’t care which and not necessarily in that order either. Jace spots Bobby Lee nursing his wounds and yes, actually licking them; perhaps for nourishment. Jace kicks him right in the face catching Lee off guard and mid lick, but this is a match and anything goes; no one is safe. Jaice grinds Bobby’s face into the wire, ripping the flesh from his bones, or nearly so anyways. Wilds is a man on a mission, slamming Bobby’s face into the ring post before leaping up to kick him right in the chest, sending him back first into the cage. Jaice picks up the ring steps, swinging them around catching Bobby right in the side of the head and it looks like Bobby is crying, either that or he’s got something caught in his eye.

BUBBA J: There’s no crying in wrestling!

Jaice holds the steps up over his head, but Jason Christopher rips them from his grasp, shaking his head “no.” Jaice turns around, boot to the midsection from Christopher and he tosses the steps away, accidentally causing them to land on Scottie Snow in the process of getting back up to his feet. Jason lifts Wilds up, tossing him into the ring and following in quickly after him. Jason lifts Wilds up, forearm to the throat and a knee into the midsection. Jason with a second knee lift to the mids4ection and a vertical suplex puts Wilds on the canvas. Jason off the ropes, leg drop for good measure; but he’s not finished as he pulls Jaice up to his feet. European uppercut rocks Jaice big time and a shoulderblock puts Wilds in the midsection. Jason with a running shoulderblock to Jaice in the corner.

WHISPER IN THE WIND!

Jaice counters and Jason is on the canvas; Jaice wasting no time in climbing up top for a high risk move. Jaice leaps out, front flipping knee across Jason’s throat puts Jaice back on top of this particular action in the match. Gato drags Jacob’s face across the wire, doing his best to remove the flesh from his former World Champion bones. Jacob with an elbow halts El Gato and gets him the advantage back momentarily. Jacob with a second elbow, sending the point of his elbow right into Gato’s little Mexican temple drops him to the ground on his knees. Jacob up to the apron, leaping off with a short missile dropkick casuing the right side of Gato’s head to slam into a steel bar that helps hold up the cage. Jacob rolls over, dripping blood onto the ground and looks up at the second story where the Aggression title is encased in barbed wire and a smirk crosses his lips as he pulls out a pair of wire cutters from under the ring. Jacob tosses the cutters into the ring before sliding the ladder in as well. Jaice Wilds nails Jacob’s ladder right back into his face as he tries to set it up, causing the former World Champion to fall back against the ropes. Jaice with a suplex of the ladder, rings Jacob’s head. Jaice off the ropes, up to the top turnbuckle, grabs Jacob’s head for a DDT while his head is in the ladder!

MIKEY MASSACRE: He may have broken Jacob’s neck!

BUBBA J: All’s fair in Rebel Pro and especially when titles are on the line.

Jacob lays there, his head in the ladder and unmoving and Jaice looks a bit worried at what he has done, but he knows that the same would be done to him in this mad house called Rebel Pro. Chad comes flying over Jaice’s shoulders catching him with a diamond cutter onto the ladder!

MIKEY MASSACRE: No one is safe!

BUBBA J: Damn right Massacre! Damn fucking right!

Chad is up, leg dropping Jaice, sending his throat onto a leg of the ladder for good measure. Kurtis turns around, dropkick from Jason Christopher sends Chad stumbling over both Jaice and the unconscious Venar to fall and get caught up into the ropes. Jason with a leg lariat nearly decapitates “The Show” and unfortunately for him, he’s still tangled in the ropes. Jason pounds him in the face with a forearm before slamming the bottom of his boot right into the face of Chad over and over, finally breaking his nose and causing blood to fly everywhere on the last kick to the face. Jason bounces off the ropes, coming back with a clothesline that untangles Chad, but also sends him rolling out of the ring slamming the side of his head on the ring’s apron.

BUBBA J: Damn, Chad came back for this shit?

MIKEY MASSACRE: Yeah, he wants to be a Champion again.

BUBBA J: I’d come back too, ifn I could.

“America” by Rammstein hits the speakers and the crowd, cheering the action in the ring; begins to boo heavily.

JENNY JERSEY: From Bonn, Germany; he stands at seven foot even and weighs in at four hundred pounds… MOKE DOSHKY!

Moke rips the door right out of Alan Stone’s hands and stalks into the ring, carrying a wooden pair of nunchucks, ready for attacking and maiming if he can. First to meet this individual is Bobby, but its because he’s trying to exit the cage. Moke levels him with a nunchuck to the head, busting his temple open, but you can’t tell the wound because of the blood and dirt caked on his head from the hardcore action so far in this match. Chad Kurtis runs along the top rope, diving off with a scissorskick, but Moke expertly rips off a nunchuck shot right to his inner thigh while spinning around and catching him in the lower back with a kick sending him to the ground. Moke steps into the ring, squaring off against Jason Christopher and El Gato, who surprisingly decide to double team this big man. Jason and Gato dive at the big man, Moke with a nunchuck to Jason and a vicious side kick to Gato’s ribs sends him sprawling into the ropes. Gato comes springing back with a front kick to the side of his head, but Moke catches him, military press slam onto the ladder and Gato may also be out cold. Moke looks down at the destruction surrounding the ladder and grins before helping Scottie Snow up to his feet. Moke looks around to see who he can face off against next. Jason Christopher with a spinning heel kick, but Moke merely catches him, powerbombing him onto the ladder for good measure and now the ladder is completely covered in bodies, most of them moving, and again most of them groaning. Scottie looks up to the big man, knowing that one of them will hopefully be walking away with some gold here tonight.

BUBBA J: cialis tadalafil 20 mg Moke came in, Moke dominated, and now Moke is bored; that ain’t good.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Didn’t he and Dragon recently win the PWA Tag Team titles?

BUBBA J: Yes, from our former Rebel Pro Champion, Johnny Maverick and his ASSHOLE buddy Ash Nukem.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Bubba J! We are not here to make fun of his sexual preference!

BUBBA J: What?! I’m not! He was in a stable called The ASSHOLES.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh, just the way you said it.

BUBBA J: Get your mind out of the gutter you filthy minded bearded bastard.

“Lipless” by Fear of City hits up nearly immediately after Moke Doshky’s entrance, or so it seems.

BUBBA J: These entrants are really random, you never know who or how long between wrestlers.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Yeah, Iknow awesome randomness.

JENNY JERSEY: From Jersey City, New Jersey; he stands at six feet two inches and weighs in at two hundred and twenty-five pounds… HOSTILE!

BUBBA J: He is one bad sumbitch and my tag team partner over in Victory.

MIKEY MASSACRE: As tough as you?

BUBBA J: Anyone who can sit in a booth with me after I’ve eaten hot wings, is one tough bastard. However, he just won’t drink beer.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Is that a fault?

BUBBA J: Nah, just like to drink while I talk business.

Hostile is in the cage, nailing Moke in the face with a steel chair, but the big man only shakes his head. Snow comes in from the side, but Hostile launches him like a lawn dart over the top and into the side of the cage. Hostile turns back to find Moke there twirling his nunchuck around and around; Hostile smiles and nods. Moke swings the chuck, Hostile ducks under peppering Moke in the chin and throat with a rapid fired succession of punches that back the big man up. Hostile presses his advantage with a kick to the inner knee of Moke before spinning around slamming the outside of the same leg as well with a roundhouse kick. Moke falls back into the corner, Hostile jumping to mount hiim in the corner firing down right after right fist into his face. Jason Christopher is up and rips Hostile off of Moke. Hostile spins around, Jason ducking the roundhouse punch. Moke levels Christopher with a clothesline sending him back to the canvas. Jacob Venar, previously wrapped in the ladder in a sick move, leaps to the top rope, diving between them both slamming their heads together with a sickening thunk.

BUBBA J: I’m impressed.

MIKEY MASSACRE: I’m surprised he even got up after that move earlier.

Jacob spins around, leaping back up split legged kick sends both men backwards. Moke slams back first into the corner, Hostile into a swinging neckbreaker from “The Show”.

BUBBA J: He attacks from behind, the damn sneak!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Alls fair in Rebel Pro, especially when titles are on the line… right?

BUBBA J: Shut up Mikey, just shut up.

Chad gets back up, noticing Jacob doing the same, just a bit more gingerly. Collar and elbow lock up, low blow from Snow puts Jacob’s hands around his manhood instead of Chad’s body, but El Gato with a low blow of his own causes Chad to do much of the same that generic viagra Jacob recently done. Snow grabs Jacob in a side headlock, Gato grabs Chad Kurtis in one as well… they ram their heads together, sending both men down front first on the canvas. Scottie goes for a high five, but El Gato with a leap and grabbing Snow by the back of the head, drags him down planting his face right onto the mat. Gato gets back up, smiling down at Snow, but Jaice rams him in the gut with his boot, spinning him around and clocking him with the point of his elbow sending him into the ropes and a spinning heel kick sends him over the top.

A big ploom of smoke bursts from under the ring, enveloping everyone in its dense cloud. The smoke slowly disapates in the wind from the East and standing on the top turnbuckle is none other than the Aggression Champion, herself, Lisa No wait a minute, its not Lisa , its Lisa Seldon, equally tricky but without all the gawdy apparel that comes with being a tricky magician.

JENNY JERSEY: From Seldoncrest Mansion, New Mexico; standing at five feet six inches and weighing in at one hundred and thirty pounds… LISA SELDON!

Lisa Seldon with a flourish flips forward sending Jaice back with a flipping dropkick. Here comes Moke, but Lisa trips him up, causing him to faceplant the steel ladder. Lisa sets the ladder up, diving off with a swanton bomb onto Jacob Venar before calmly and very smoothly picking Moke up and rolling him outside the ring. Here comes Scottie Snow again, Lisa stares at him and Snow just waves his hands, falling back from the glare of Lisa ‘s x-ray vision.

BUBBA J: That stare has frozen poor pitiful Snow.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Freakish… hey, we’ve got another entrant and so quickly after our previous one.

“She Wolf” hits up and from the backstage area, comes Emily Corlen herself.

JENNY JERSEY: From Rockford, Illinois; she stands at five feet six inches while weighing in at one hundred and forty-five pounds… “CRIMSON WOLF” EMILY CORLEN!

Lisa stares down the walkway at Emily Corlen as she makes her way to the cage.

BUBBA J: Except for Chad Kurtis, all the females came into this match at one group.

MIKEY MASSACRE: You know he’s gonna hit you one of these days.

BUBBA J: Pahlease, I’ve been hit harder by a paraplegic.

Emily steps into the cage and into the ring across from Lisa who flips her wrist, bringing out a baseball bat covered in broken glass from… well… thin air? Emily nods, bringing a nightstick from behind her back; her weapon covered in thumbtacks. The two come together, Lisa swinging the bat, Emily dodging and parrying the bat with the tiny stick. Emily darts in, pulling the stick down Lisa ‘s face drawing a tiny bit of blood, but Lisa fires back with a boot into the midsection and slamming the bat across Emily’s face before dragging it across her lovely cheeks. Lisa looks over to Bubba J, pointing at Emily’s chest, before sticking the bat down her top and moving the bat from side to side.

BUBBA J: Um… bloody tits, got to love that.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Um… yeah, if you say so Bubba J.

BUBBA J: Oh I do Mikey, I really do.

Emily slams the stick into Lisa ‘s midsection before dragging it against the bottom of her chin. Lisa draws back in surprise, rubbing there and feeling the blood on her hand. Emily pressex her advantage with a shot to the side of her head before Emily spins around catching her in the ribs with a roundhouse kick. Lisa falls into the ropes, bouncing back with a right, a left, a right, and a forearm to cap off the combo. Emily falls back, quickly righting herself with a stomp on Lisa’s ankle to stop her momentum. Lisa slams her forearm into Emily’s back sending her to one knee before slamming Corlen in the face with a vicious knee strike!

BUBBA J: What a shot!

MIKEY MASSACRE: If I’ve got it right, we have about three more Rebel Pro regulars to enter the match.

BUBBA J: And they can all come in at once or it may be thirty minutes; we never know.

Emily shoves Lisa back, leaping to the middle rope, coming back around with a kick to the back of Lisa’s head sending her onto one knee. Emily off the ropes, Shining…Lisa ‘s counter sends Emily down onto the forgotten table! Emily’s back arches from the pain of the contact of wood and skin, but Lisa is not finished yet as she climbs the bent and nearly broken ladder. Lisa looks down on Emily, leaping out…

SWANTON THROUGH THE TABLE!

MIKEY MASSACRE: She’s broken in half!

BUBBA J: Nope, don’t want her anymore now, if she can’t do what I need.

Lisa pulls herself up…

“Hard Rock Hallelujah” comes to life and The Dragon walks from the backstage area, confident and showering in the boos of the fans here in Durham.

JENNY JERSEY: Making his way to the ring from Parts Unknown, he stands at six feet one inch while weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds… THE DRAGON!

Dragon steps up to the cage just as Europe’s “Final Countdown” hits up in the speakers.

BUBBA J: Quickest turnover of the night, another entrant before the previous one even steps into the cage.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Who turned out the lights?!

The lights are gone, no light except for that provided by the stars above but the sounds of fighting can still be heard inside the cage of doom. The lights are still out when flames erupt in the cage, right outside of the cage and back at the backstage area where The Phoenix was just stepping out from when they all went dark.

BUBBA J: Its Dark Phoenix, bet ya.

MIKEY MASSACRE: How do you know?

BUBBA J: I see him in the r ing.

MIKEY MASSACRE: How in this pitch blackness?

BUBBA J: Night vision hunting goggles.

The lights come back…

BUBBA J: Damn! My eyes!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Hahahahaheeeheeeheeehahahahaheeeheeeheeehahaha.

BUBBA J: Fuck you Mikey, right in the ear!

The lights are back and all four members of Phoenix’s Pantheon are gone from both the match and the wrestling area, only piles of ashes remain. Perched on the side of the cage is a poster of a dark Phoenix. The wrestlers all look at the image before turning to find someone to fight with and something to bash them on the head or body with as well. Lisa finds her bat nailing Chad Kurtis over the back with hit causing him to hit a knee. Bobby Lee… is crawling under the ring to get away, screaming like a little baby as he does so. Jason Christopher punts Emily Corlen in the head as Jaice Wilds locks horns with Jacob Venar over in the corner. El Gato climbs up the ladder, hanging from the bottom of level two right above the throng of bodies exchanging blows with fists and weapons. Gato lets a Mexican war cry loose before falling down with a splash onto everyone, taking them all out, well except for Bobby Lee who’s wimpering can be heard from under the ring. Gato gets up, but Lisa shoves her hand into his gut with a thrust, causing him to double over. Emily comes off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker flattening him onto his back. Chad Kurtis with an elbow from the top, but Jacob spears him in mid-air to stop the attack as he still is concentrating on Chad Kurtis for some reason. Jacob and Chad fall through the ropes and back to the outside. Lisa looks at the two on the outside before whipping Emily into the ropes. Emily rebounds, Lisa launches her over the top with a back body, and Corlen crashes into both men on the outside in splendid fashion.

Hostile pulls Bobby Lee from under the ring, screaming and whimpering; not to mention begging for mercy from the Demon of Jersey City. Hostile lifts him up, tossing him into the cage before lifting him up and tossing him down with single minded precision.

KABOOM!

The C4 explodes and Bobby Lee gets a body full of C4 for the second time in t his match and he’s got to be feeling the pain.

“Homecoming” by Kanye West hits up and from the back, still to a mixed reaction bordering on mixedness comes Simon Kalis.

JENNY JERSEY: From Montreal Quebec, Canada; he stands at six feet three inches while weighing in at two hundred and thirty-five pounds… SIMON KALIS!

MIKEY MASSACRE: The last entrant!

BUBBA J: He has to enter the ring for the second level to be unlocked, they all look like hungry dogs in that cage!

Simon walks past the announcers’ table, making sure to flick Bubba J the finger before continuing around to the door of the cage. Simon steps through the door, ripping a chair off the wall, one of the many weapons still remaining. Simon also bends down, pulling up a cattle prod that someone was going to use earlier, but dropped. Simon checks the weapons before stepping on into the ring. Lisa turns around.

*WHAM! ZAP!*

Lisa falls back, jerking from the force of teh cattle prod, Simon enjoys it and reaches in for another zap.

*WHAM! ZAP!*

Lisa jerks again, unable to stop herself from flopping because that shit hurts.

BUBBA J: That shit hurts Mikey, makes you wonder what fucking truck just hit you.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Never felt one before, but I think I’ll keep it that way, thanks.

Simon leans down, setting the chair perfectly before pulling Lisa up to her feet, still shaking uncontrollably from the double shock of the cattle prod. Simon lifts her up…

MIKEY MASSACRE: The Order Never Dies! Onto a steel chair!

BUBBA J: Lisa has to be out… wait a second that’s my boss. I should be happy, but that pisses me off!

Simon lifts Lisa back up, tossing her over the top rope and to the outside where she rolls up against the steel cage. The second level is unlocked and Simon lifts the broken ladder up, but its bent and warped, falling to the right side. Simon shoves the ladder into Jacob Venar, but Venar shoves it right back into Simon’s face. Simon and Jacob come to lock up as a second ladder is slid into the ring by Jaice Wilds and set up under the hole leading to the second level.

BUBBA J: Be right back Mikey.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Wher…

Bubba J gets up from the table, heading over in a hurry to Lisa who is still not moving after the cattle prod in the heart twice and subsequent spinning kamikaze on the chair. Bubba J hands her a bottle of water as Simon sends Jacob into the corner with an Irish whip.

BUBBA J: Here, drink this, it’ll help.

Lisa nods slowly, able to get down some of the water. Bubba J looks up at Simon who spins around and goes to dive over the top as Bubba J is helping his Victory Wrestling boss.

BUBBA J: Here, this’ll knock down a cow.

Simon dives over, yelling at Bubba J, who flicks Simon off, but Simon reaches down for the cattle prod… Jason Christopher pushes it through the cage, unable to be used by anyone now. Simon nails Christopher with a sole kick causing him to slam the back of his head into the corner post and slump down against the ground; his head leaning up against the post. Simon with a running knee smashes the young wrestler into unconsciousness but Simon isn’t finished. He looks up into the ring where Emily Corlen is in a collar and elbow lock up with Jaice Wilds. Emily with a go behind, dropping it for a side headlock and a springboard bulldog, that slams Jaice’s face right onto the dented steel chair. Simon turns back around, leaning over Lisa Seldon now.

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRKPT

Simon folds like an accordion, unable to hold his crotch where the prongs of Lisa’s taser stick out from her hand. Lisa turns to Bubba J, nodding and smiling.

BUBBA J: Ok Mikey, I’m back; didya miss me?

MIKEY MASSACRE: What are you doing getting involved?

BUBBA J: I hate Simon’s fucking guts and since I can’t be in there whooping that ass, figured I’d let Lisa have some fun.

Simon flops for about five seconds, long enough for Lisa to start digging under the ring and come out with the third and final ladder under the ring. Lisa turns around, Simon still unable to really move thanks to the five seconds of “Riding The Bull” from Lisa. Lisa digs under the ring again, pulling out a glass table and a spool of barbed wire.

BUBBA J: Things bout to get serious Mikey.

MIKEY MASSACRE: I don’t think they’ve been playing around Bubba J.

Lisa wraps the wrie around and around her foot, effectively making a boot of barbed wire on her left foot; then she does the same to the other foot before setting up the glass table. Lisa climbs to the top of the ladder, the stadium lights causing sparkles to glimmer on the barbed wire boots she is now wearing. On the other side of the ropes(inside the ring) Emily Corlen meets Chad Kurtis and Jacob cheap cialis Venar in the second level where Venar is reaching through the wire at the Aggression Championship. Simon rolls up to his feet, turning around.

SUPER DROPKICK!

The barbs embed themselves in Simon’s face, and blood pours out of the wounds in a heavy flow.

BUBBA J: Damn, she knocked out his glass eye!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Ebay before the night is over.

Lisa pulls Simon up, rolling him onto the glass table and then wrapping his whole head in barbed wire to make a mask of wire. Lisa climbs up onto the table, lifting Simon up with a piledriver… Simon reverses, sending Lisa through the glass table with a piledriver instead!

“REBEL PRO! REBEL PRO! REBEL PRO! REBEL PRO! REBEL PRO!”

The crowd is definitely into this gigantic match.

BUBBA J: Damn! Glass went everywhere!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Chad’s got the Aggression title!

BUBBA J: But he’s got to make it out of the cage first to be crowned the new Aggression Champion!

Emily dives after Chad’s legs, causing him to trip and slam his throat into the opening, gagging himself and dropping the title to the canvas below. The cage door to the World title opens up and both Emily Corlen and Jacob Venar are right there to clamber through the opening. Chad falls on through the opening, slamming his shoulder onto the canvas, on top of the Aggression title. Chad lays there not moving.

BUBBA J: Now, he may truly be hurt.

MIKEY MASSACRE: The way he landed on his shoulder can’t be good.

Jaice scoops up the title, diving for the cage door as Alan Stone opens it up. El Gato nails him with a dropkick to the mouth sending him rolling over and the Aggression title flying away from him in the process. The belt lands about three feet away from Jason Christopher, who grabs it and staggers up to his feet, heading for the door. Bobby Lee trips him up, nailing him in the back of the head with the pair of wire cutters and walking to the door with the Aggression title.

BUBBA J: Bobby Lee with the Agression Title!

MIKEY MASSACRE: El Gato nails Bobby Lee in his jalapeno right as he is about a step away from the exit!

Jacob sends Emily falling from the top level with a dropkick. Emily falls back, tripping and falling through the top level and to the second level!

BUBBA J: Emily nearly from the top to the bottom!

MIKEY MASSACRE: She slides on through to the bottom to land heavily on her feet. Emily springs up to the ladder, and begins climbing as Simon sends her toppling from the ladder with a dropkick to her ribs. Simon looks up and shrugs, motioning for Jacob to come on down and join the party. Lisa rolls into the ring, glass glittering in her hair and blood pouring down her face and body to drench her clothes. Lisa stumbles over to Simon, spininng him around booting him in the gut. Simon fires back with a punch to the inner thigh of Lisa as Emily puts one foot out of the cage, Aggression title in her grasp. Jason Christopher yanks her out of the door and back into the cage, the door shutting as she falls back inside.

BUBBA J: So close, no cigar.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Its going to take a lot to come out of this match with your sanity in tact, let alone a title!

Simon shoves Lisa away, but Seldon comes back flipping onto her hands driving Simon into the ladder with the barbed wire boots into the barbed wire mask. Simon trips into the ladder, blood pouring from underneath the wire mask and he hits the canvas. Lisa climbs up the ladder, holding the wire cutters in her hand for some awesome and possibly deadly move. Lisa reaches the second level, booting Jacob in the midsection before sending him through the hole to the bottom level; landing on top of Simon driving the air out of both men. Lisa continues on up to the top level, the only person up there and her eyes on the Rebel Pro World Championship http://viagraonline-genericmall.com/ in the glass case. Simon shoves Jacob off of him as he rolls up to his feet, beginning to climb the ladder.

BUBBA J: Lisa just smashed through the glass case!

MIKEY MASSACRE: She’s got the World Title!

Simon climbs back down, knowing that Lisa must come back down to get on the outside, he instead turns his attention to the people surrounding him and notices Emily Corlen getting the best of Jason Christopher. Emily with a backhanded slap to Jason’s face ties him up in some barbed wire and Emily grabs the Aggression title, having finally noticed that Lisa has the World Title now.

BUBBA J: Lisa’s cutting through the cage!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Brilliant!

Lisa steps through the slit she cut into the cage as two men jump from the bleacher seats trying to make it to the ring. Security come rushing over, but are too slow as the crowd is packed in here like sardines! Lisa looks down, strapping the World Title around her waist and getting Simon’s attention. Simon, knowing the match must nearly be over and there is only one shot at this looks for his people, the two men leaping over the barricade. Rayn and Marvin Wood come to the cage, Lisa half way down its side but she quickly climbs back up to the top of the bottom level(around the second level’s cage). Simon punt kicks Emily, setting up and nailing Sentencing of the Damned on her onto another buried block of C4 explosive.

KABOOM!

BUBBA J: Are her tits alright? Idon’t mind chuncky chicks, more flesh to grab ya know?

MIKEY MASSACRE: Is there any way you could ever be somewhat professional?

BUBBA J: Doubt it.

Simon grabs the Aggression title, delivers a roundhouse kick to Jason Christopher and falls out of the door asJacob Venar spears him from the top rope causing the hard steel of the door’s frame to rip skin from Simon’s temple.

BUBBA J: Jahsus!

MIKEY MASSACRE: DAMN!

DING DING

JENNY JERSEY: Simon Kalis has been declared the Rebel Pro Aggression Champion!

More cheers than when he came in tonight fill the stadium, but there are still some major haters of Simon Kalis. Rayn and Marvin Wood stare up as Lisa ponders what she should do.

BUBBA J: Lisa has the World Title, but won’t be declared champion until her feet touch the ground… I need to go help her!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Sit he… nevermind!

Bubba J stands up, heading over to Rayn and Marvin Wood drawing Wood’s attention as Lisa takes a running leap over the side rolling up to her feet on the ground.

DING DING

JENNY JERSEY: And your NEEEEEEEEW Rebel Pro World Champion… Lisa Seldon!

Bubba J fires a right into Marvin’s face as he and Rayn help Simon to the backstage what color is viagra area.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Two new Champions crowned here ton… who?…

A candle burns on Megavision and the other televisions set around for the fans to get good views from. Slowly a figure steps into view, still unrecognizable but he stands over six feet tall.

DISTORTED VOICE: Happy Birthday Rebel…

The candle blows out as “Victory” by Puff Daddy plays on the speakers, causing the crowd to boo.

DISTORTED VOICE: What, not glad to have the Millennium Game back to play?

Laughter.

JUSTIN CASE: The best damn thing to ever happen to this company is back boys and girls… and speaking of girls… Lisa Seldon… enjoy your title reign because I will be coming for that title that you just won… So have fun, enjoy the reign because as soon as I get my shot… it’ll be Game Over for you…

The show fades on Lisa begging for Justin Case to bring it on.