Aggression 8-15-2011

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*****When It Rains, It Pours*****

As the show opens up, we find a camera aiming at one of the locker room doors. The locker room displaying a name tag of a female nurse from a hospital.

The camera then turns and walks slowly down the hallway, revealing more cards from the same hospital with blood smudges on them.

Mikey Massacre: There appears to be dozens of these all over the place backstage. On the doors of the superstars locker room doors, the floor and…

The camera cuts to the arena, where we can see more cards falling from the ceiling.

Mikey Massacre: What the hell is going on here? Let me see if I can get one of these.

Mikey grabs and shows the camera what appears to be a driver’s license.

Mikey Massacre: I’ve no idea what any of this means but they are pouring from the ceiling like confetti. — What a strange way to open the show here tonight.

Linzi Martin: Spooky!

*****Pucker You Fucker*****

As we come back from commercial we see Simon Kalis standing in the center of the ring, a microphone in hand; but we hear Mikey Massacre speaking at the Announcers’ table.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t believe he’ll do it.

Linzi Martin: It’ll be hot when he does.

Simon clears his throat as he brings the mic up to his mouth.

Simon Kalis: Bubba J you fat ass retarded inbred son of a bitch!… Its time for you to kiss my black ass!

The fans are buzzing as they look around for Bubba J to come out, after all they know he’s here with Vincent Black as they have a chance to win the Rebel Pro Tag Team titles later tonight.

Simon Kalis: Come on Bubba J, or do I need to speak slower so that you can understand me?

V/O: Nah, that’s alright Simon, I understand you just fine.

The Rebel-tron lights up as Bubba J is on the large screen with his locker behind him.

Bubba J: But what I am curious about is the fact why in the hell you want me out there to kiss your black ass.

Simon smirks and speaks.

Simon Kalis: Because you lost fair and square last week and you knew the stipulation going in.

Bubba J smiles as he nods and sucks his teeth in thought.

Bubba J: Yeah, I had nearly forgot the screwjob you pulled, smart Simon, really smart.

He winks at Simon in the ring.

Bubba J: However, I’ve already performed that particular stipulation’s action.

Simon shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: You can lie to these people all you want, but your lips were never on my black ass you inbred redneck.

Bubba J smiles again.

Bubba J: I never said that I kissed your black ass, nor did the stipulation indicate that I had to kiss your particular black ass.; all i…

Simon Kalis: The stipulation was for you to kiss Simon Kalis’ black ass Bubba J and you know it!

Bubba J nods in agreement.

Bubba J: True and don’t ever interupt me again, and for once we actually agree. However, let me show you a bit of footage recorded from the newly reopened Hardcore Drinking… thanks by the way to your substantial cash addition(he laughs) we were able to put in a very delux game room and be sure to go by there after the show for 2 for 1 drink specials.

Bubba J smiles down at Simon.

Bubba J: Now, roll that footage, if you please.

The Rebel-tron slowly dissolves into a room, we now know to be in Hardcore Drinking, where Bubba J is on his knees behind this very lovely and highly attractive black female. The camera pans her up and down showing all of her lovely and barely concealed curves, to focus in on her hunter green thong. J smiles up at the camera before indicating for it to try and get them in the shot together.

Bubba J: So hun, what is your name again?

The girl giggles, making sure to shake what her mama gave her.

Woman: Simon Kalis(pronounced Seymoune Kahlees) and you sir have to kiss my black ass.

J smirks at the camera.

Bubba J: With pleasure Simon, with pleasure.

The camera focuses in on her ass, making sure to blur out what very personal area isn’t covered by the skimpy thong. Bubba J’s lips are planted on her ass as the screen freezes and slowly dissolving back into the live building and shot of him in his locker room.

Bubba J: There ya go, already done and done.

Simon stands there furious, but Bubba J isn’t finished.

Bubba J: Oh and one last thing… fuck you Simon.

The scene fades into nothing as Simon stares at the tron and J’s laughter is heard coming from the speakers.

*****CONSPIRACY Rematch Match!*****
*****Legion versus Justin Case*****

DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first!

The lights in the arena go to black and the heavy bass of ‘Inside’ by NiN kicks in over the sound system. Rising from a hole set in the middle of the stage is Legion, a backlight showing only his silhouette. The arena lights come back up and Legion is joined on stage by members of his congregation and they all make their way to the ring.

Jenny Jersey: HE… IS…. LEGION!!!

Legion enters the ring and looks out at the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent! Accompanied to the ring by Hugh Aredone!

” Victory ” by P Diddy and company hits the P.A. Out comes ” The Millennium Game ” Justin Case! He stands at the entrance way, with his manager behind him, as pyro shoots on either side while he raises his oh so talented arms in the very talented air! Case struts down the ramp as Hugh Aredone limpingly lingers behind. He struts to the squared circle with a cockily arrogance that only he can endeavor. Once from inside the ring, he steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd on hand. Whether they like him or not, it does not matter. His manager hits his cane on the apron showing his approval. Jumping off the ropes he prepares for the match pulling on the upper rope as his music ends.

Jenny Jersey: HE IS… THE MILLENNIUM GAME… JUSTIN CASE!!!!

DING DING DING

Case rushes at Legion and spears him into the ropes, but Legion wraps his arm around Case’s head and spins around, DDTing him into the canvas hard. Case rolls away and gets to his feet. Case hops up onto the top turnbuckle and flies off with a missile dropkick, catching Legion square in the face and sending Legion into the corner. Case climbs the turnbuckles, mounting Legion as he begins wailing on him with lefts and rights. One of Legions priests hops up onto the apron and swings his oak staff, the steel skull at the tip bashing Justin Case upside the face. Case falls onto the canvas hard as Legion grabs the staff and moves towards him.

Mikey Massacre: Case using his speed advantage on Legion for the time being, but I think that’s about to change.

Linzi Martin: Case was the first man to defeat the juggernaut that is Legion, will he manage to do it a second time?

Case looks up and puts his hands up to cover his face as Legion swings the staff at his head. Legion changes the direction of the swing at the last second, bringing the skull tip down into Justin’s chest. He begins wailing on Case all over Case’s body, his chest, his ribs and his head until he snaps the staff in half over Cases back as Case crawls away. Case rolls out of the ring and Hugh Aredone walks over to check up on him. Legions priests begins encircling them, but Hugh Aredone stands his ground by shaking his diamond willow cane at them. Case gets to his feet and grabs the cane from Hugh and quickly rolls back into the ring.

Linzi Martin: The equalizer!

Legion rushes at Case who slides under Legion and cracks Legion in the back of his leg with the cane. Case pops up to his feet and cracks it over Legions face not once, not twice, but thrice! Legion stumbles but the powerhouse has yet to fall. Case springboards himself off the top rope and comes spinning around, cracking the cane into Legions throat with a touch of theatrics that the crowd loves. Case grabs Legion, belly to belly suplex! He covers!

1!

2!!

KICK OUT!

Case gets violently thrown off of Legion as Legion immediately sits up, then getting back to his feet. Legion grabs Case from the back of his neck and lifts him right off the canvas with sheer power and strength, holding him up for the world to see. The cameras flash as Legion choke slams Justin Case face first into the canvas. Legion kicks him in the ribs repeatedly to roll Case over before covering.

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!

Legion gets to his feet and then grabs the diamond willow cane left in the ring by Case. As Case gets to his feet he, Legion breaks the cane in half over Justin Case’s face. Case begins bleeding as he stumbles around and he walks right into a big boot from Legion. Legion climbs up to the top turnbuckle and dives off with a head butt right into Justin Case’s heart! He covers him again.

1!

2!!

THR-KICK OUT! CASE KICKS OUT!

Mikey Massacre: Some serious back and forth here, folks.

Linzi Martin: These guys sure do put on an entertaining match when they meet!

Legion gets to his feet but Case kicks his knees out from behind him. Legion falls forward, right into the pure barbed wire that is the middle ropes of the REBEL Pro ring. His neck gets entangled in the barbed wire as Case quickly grabs his legs and locks in the sharpshooter! Case has the sharpshooter locked in! He pulls back and raises the pressure as the referee checks to see if Legion will give out. Legions neck is getting the barbed wire embedded deeper and deeper as Case moves back and forth, rocking himself to apply pressure on and off like a horrible violent tease on Legion.

Linzi Martin: Oh shit!

Mikey Massacre: Legions neck was cut by barbed wire last week, and now the middle ropes are the conduit to that happening all over again!

Linzi Martin: Five bucks says Legion taps.

Mikey Massacre: You’re on.

Case continues to apply tremendous pressure with the move, until two of Legions priests slide into the ring. Case lets go of the move to duck and roll out of the way of a chairshot. Case back to his feet, The Benchmark on one of the priests!!! The priest goes rolling out of the ring in pain, but the other one swings his chair at Case. Case ducks. Legion meanwhile gets himself untangled out of those dangerous barbed wire middle ropes.

Mikey Massacre: The REBEL Pro ring itself, is made to destroy you. You gotta love it!

Linzi Martin: Uh yeah!

Mikey Massacre: You owe me $5.

Linzi Martin: Fu.. Okay.

Case hits Just 2 Talented on the other priest, right into the steel chair! That priest is outta here! Case gets to his feet but Legion grabs onto him- Black Hole Slam! Legion covers!

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT!

The crowd is going nuts as Case quickly gets to his feet, bounces off the ropes and comes with a flying shoulder block that takes Legion down! Case with a jackknife pinfall!

1!

2!!

THR-KICK OUT!

Out of the crowd, there comes a man with a lead pipe! He hops the barricade and bashes the pipe across the heads of the last priest who’s still standing. Legion sees him coming into the ring and pushes the referee in front of the pipe as this unknown man swings, cracking the pipe over the referees head. Both him and Justin Case begin attacking Legion full frontal as the referee remains down and out. He bashes Legion over the head in what seems like a million times over to get Legion down and out. Justin Case grabs Legion… JUST 2 TALENTED!!!! JUST 2 TALENTED ON LEGION!! Case covers!

….

….

THERE IS NO REFEREE!

Legion throws Justin Case off of himself and trips this mysterious man out of the ring. The referee is coming to, but Case grabs the lead pipe and swings at Legion. Legion ducks, kicks Case in the gut and hits ENTER BLACKNESS! Legions priests are all back on their feet and they swarm Case’s mystery buddy as Legion covers, the referee finally coming to.

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Legion rolls out of the ring and begins making his way backstage, his priests following him quickly as Case rolls out of the ring.

Jenny Jersey: The winner of this match…. LEGION!

Mikey Massacre: Legion redeems his first loss here in REBEL Pro, but who’s this guy with Case?

Linzi Martin: That’s a good question, I think we’re about to find out.

” TMG ” slides back into the ring as the two men meet eye to eye. Suddenly they smile as Justin motions for a mic. Is this the ” Plan ” that Case was talking about? ” The Millennium Game ” quiets the crowd as the two men stand in the ring side by side. Case puts the mic to his lips….

JC: Justin Case U didnt know, this was all part of the show! You see, this very talented man beside me has just demonstrated only a fraction of what is to come here in REBEL PRO WRESTLING! You can call this a meeting of the minds but I call it, genius!

Justin Case: You see, while Legion was finding new blood for his new Church Of Misery. While he was trying to torture a man not even remotely related to me, it was yours truly pulling the strings backstage in order to sign this guy right here to a long term contract! And while I wont get into the details just yet as to the full reasoning behind this new attraction. Yours truly can promise you all this. The tag team world of REBEL PRO WRESTLING is in for a long nastly ugly ride! The man to the right of me is a former MMA trained destroyer and World Champion. We trained together back in Canada, and for now that is all you need to know.

Justin Case: Oh, and one more thing. His name is ” Wreckless ” Rocky Logan and you can call us the new number one contenders to the REBEL PRO Tag Team Titles! Bitches beware because the ” Case Filed Rockets ” have come to play. And we are also here to stay!! One former MMA World Champ teaming with another former REBEL PRO World Champ equals COMPLETE DOMINATION!! Its d*cks before chicks, as we will rid this fed of all its female hoes! Just to replace them with 100 percent pure talented Gold. Soon to be the NEW REBEL PRO Tag Team Champions of the World!!

Justin Case: Thats not a threat, thats a promise!!

Case throws down the mic to some feedback as ” Troublesome ’96 ” by Tupac Shakur hits up on the P.A. The new tag team ” Case Filed Rockets ” exit the ring to the boos of the crowd and garbage being hucked in their direction as they proceed backstage.

*****Once You Go Black*****

Backstage we find Simon Kalis and Violet Harper chatting it up. Pretty casual.

SIMON KALIS: So… Violet.

VIOLET HARPER: Just stop.

SIMON KALIS: Don’t you want to go black and then have to make a difficult decision regarding whether or not you want to go back?

VIOLET HARPER: How do you know I already haven’t?

SIMON KALIS: You ever have a limp for a week?

VIOLET HARPER: No.

SIMON KALIS: Then you haven’t.

VIOLET HARPER: Disgusting.

Simon nods.

SIMON KALIS: It’s a black thing.

VIOLET HARPER: Emily Corlen doesn’t know shit when it comes to fire.

SIMON KALIS: Catfight?

VIOLET HARPER: Like burning down a ring is anything special. That’s child’s play.

Simon makes a gulping sound.

VIOLET HARPER: Didn’t you –

SIMON KALIS: Nevermind. Think you can do better than her?

VIOLET HARPER: Just wait and see, Mr. Kalis.

Violet turns around and heads toward her locker room and Kalis looks on with his menacing black guy stare, but he’s only thinking about her with her clothes off.

Simon Kalis: Call me Simon, sweety.

He laughs to himself and turns towards the curtains. Cut back to the ring.

*****The Championship Edition!*****

“Power” by Kanye West hits over the speakers and the crowd gets to their feet, giving out a mixed reaction.

Jenny Jersey: It’s my honour to introduce the acting President of REBEL Pro… He is also one half of the AoWF Tag Team Champions… “THE LAST SUPERSTAR” SIMON KALIS!!!!

Kalis walks out, fresh as ever, fly as fuck in an Armani suit. His suit jacket is unbuttoned, and under his suit jacket we see he‘s wearing the latest Violet Harper t-shirt. He waves to the fans as he makes his way to the ring before quickly climbing in and grabbing the microphone off Jersey.

Simon Kalis: HELLO MEMPHIS!

The crowd all cheers now, Simon is a wily bastard.

Simon Kalis: Forgetting everything that happened earlier tonight with Bubba J…

Bubba gets a rousing response from the crowd and Simon rolls his one good eye.

Simon Kalis: I just wanted to come out here to make a few announcements. Mostly too, I like taking up a lot of air time and it’s not my fault that everyone who works here wants a chance to get on TV with me, while I also get on TV by myself.

He shrugs.

Simon Kalis: What can I say? I’m awesome like this.

He winks.

Simon Kalis: Some people might think I’m fucking crazy for this, but… Well. Here’s the deal. REBEL Pro has a shot at the AoWF Intercontinental Championship next week.

The crowd cheers at this.

Simon Kalis: We need a representative. A man, or a woman… Who will ensure our victory against… Ugh.

He shudders.

Simon Kalis: The Phoenix.

The crowd BOOS incredibly loud and even starts a “PHOENIX SUCKS” chant.

Simon Kalis: Yes. He does fucking suck. He back talks this company, and our wrestlers at every turn and then comes here and half asses every fight. Fuck The Phoenix.

The crowd cheers this loudly.

Simon Kalis: The Phoenix wants to shit on REBEL Pro? Well, that’s why I’ve decided to send a true REBEL to hand him his ass to his fucking Yoohoo sucking face… And so. REBEL Pro is proud to announce, that our representative in the AoWF Intercontinental Championship match is… None other than… The biggest. Baddest motherfucker this side of the AoWF…

Simon pauses for dramatic effect.

Simon Kalis: FROM THE EXTREME ELITE….

Mikey Massacre: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!

Simon Kalis: VINCENT BLACK!!!!!

The crowd goes NUTS and is in complete and utter SHOCK.

Linzi Martin: After all the hate the Extreme Elite has shown Simon… He picks one of them?!?!? WHY???

Simon Kalis: You see. I put the interests of REBEL Pro before myself, and even though Vincent Black is a son of a bitch? He’s still OUR son of a bitch. So next week. WE INTRODUCE TO YOU! THE CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION OF REBEL Pro!

Kalis points to the backstage area.

Simon Kalis: Kill the Phoenix, Black. And if you fail, I’ll kill you.

Kalis drops the microphone and “Power” hits again, as Kalis is given cheers from the entire sold out crowd here in Memphis.

*****The Revenge of Starr*****

Suddenly, Kalis is stopped cold as the REBELtron flickers to life, Lucious Starr tsk-ing as he smiles.

Lucious Starr: Oh, my, Aaron. It’s happened again. It looks like you’ve left your precious protege in peril once again. Man, when the hell are you going to learn??

Lucious moves, allowing the camera to see Masakazu… who is chained to a car. As we zoom out just a bit, we see a car directly behind Starr.

Lucious Starr: Shit, man. I think Kaz was involved in a horrific car accident. I was listening to my police scanner, sounds like he wasn’t watching himself and tripped, fell right between two cars. Sad, really. But these things happen. I mean, at least they happen to you…

Lucious turns, ducking into the car. A door shuts, and the car takes off. Simon drops his mic and runs backstage, in hopes to save his son. The camera cuts back to the parking lot, where the car is bearing down on Kaz. Moments before the inevitable crash, Simon bursts through the door and throws something at the car… his barbed-wire wrapped crowbar. The driver’s side tire pops, and the car spins out of control as Simon jumps in front of his son. The car squeals to a stop, Simon looks up… and the rear bumper is less than an inch from his nose. The car speeds off, Simon kicking in its direction before turning to Masa.

Simon Kalis: What a fucking chav.

Masakazu shakes his head violently, Simon trying to get a hold of the duct tape holding his mouth shut. Just as it rips off, Kaz shouts.

Masakazu: IT’S A TRAP!

Simon is taken aback, looking up just in time… as Lucious rides by on his ducati, throwing a bike chain around Kalis’ neck. He drags Simon across the lot, releasing him to let him slam into a wall. Lucious dismounts his bike, walking over to Simon. Kalis grasps at his throat, starting to one knee. Lucious throws a boot to his face, sending him back to the ground.

Lucious Starr: Pathetic, Aaron. You’re fucking pathetic. I knew you’d run to Kaz, the same way you ran to Redeemer. You’re a little bitch, Aaron, and a predictable one at that.

Lucious pulls out a lead pipe, looking it over. He watches as Kalis gets to one knee, trying to regain his bearings. Lucious stands back, waiting…

Kalis stands, shaking off the sneak attack. He turns around… SMACK! Kalis falls back to the ground, Lucious dropping the lead pipe next to him. He gets down next to Simon, a grin on his face.

Lucious Starr: Let me tell you something, you self-absorbed piece of dog shit. You’re an idiot. A pathetic, worthless, self-loathing idiot. You want to be the man of the AoWF? You want to OWN the AoWF? That’s fine. But I own YOU, you worthless fucktwit. Manitoba Mayhem is your version of Engel’s Sizzler? No, no, no, old friend. It’s going to be Engel’s RPM.

Masakazu: You’re fucking dead, Starr.

Lucious looks over at Kaz, who is struggling to get out of the chains. He looks at Simon, annoyed.

Lucious Starr: Be right back.

Lucious stands, walking over to Kaz. Masa spits in Lucious’ face, the Fury wiping it off and rubbing it in Masa’s hair.

Lucious Starr: Now, I could fuck your day up just as bad as your retard father’s. But I’m going to assume that you’re still under some semi-self allowed psychic hold by your father. You stay the fuck out of mine and your father’s business, and I’ll leave you alone. Stick your nose back into it, and… well, I’ve seen your wife. And if your kid finds himself with a father, I’d be more than happy to tap your wife while raising your kid the RIGHT way…

Masakazu: YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!!!

Lucious grins, standing up and walking back to Simon, who is still out from the pipe shot. He bends down, speaking to the elder Kalis.

Lucious Starr: Now, where was I? Oh, right. If you’re lucky, I’ll let you live through Manitoba Mayhem. But I guaran-damn-tee that you’ll be wishing you had all the mobility that Benji does. First, I’m going to beat you within an inch of your life. Then I’m going to cripple you.

Lucious stands, walking off, he turns back, flipping the bird.

Lucious Starr: THEN I’m going to fucking hurt you.

Lucious walks off, Masa yelling for help as he watches his father, who remains limp on the floor.

*****Violet Harper versus Lucious Starr*****

“Fuck You” by Cee Lo Green hits the sound system as Lucious Starr comes out from backstage to roaring jeers from the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: Introducing first, from Cleveland, Ohio…

Starr makes his way down to the ring, ignoring the stupid Rebel fans.

Jenny Jersey: He stands 6’3″ and weighs in tonight at 253 pounds… HE IS LUCIOUS STARR!

Starr enters the ring and makes his way to his corner, getting ready for the match.

Jenny Jersey: And his opponent, from Portsmouth, New Hampshire…

“Gasoline” by Audioslave revs up as the crowd gets on their feet. Violet Harper emerges from backstage with the Aggression Title over her shoulder, raising her right arm in the air as the crowd cheers for her.

Jenny Jersey: She stands 5’8″ and weighs in tonight at 139 pounds…

Violet calmly makes her way down to the ring, smiling to the fans and giving a few of them high fives in the front row. She climbs up the steps and into the ring.

Jenny Jersey: She is the current Rebel Pro Aggression Champion… VIOLET… HARPER!!!

She raises the title high into the air as the crowd pops again. She hands the title off to the referee, who hands it to the timekeeper. The bell sounds.

DING DING!

Harper and Starr circle each other in the ring. Harper starts off with a few stiff kicks to Starr’s leg and then goes against the rope. She tries for a running enziguri but Starr ducks and Violet crashes to the mat. Starr takes Violet down with a german suplex. Another german suplex. The third lands Violet into the turnbuckles, pretty harsh. Starr hip tosses Harper to the mat and then goes against the rope – knee drop to the throat of Harper. Starr makes a cover.

1..

2..

Kick out!

The crowd boo’s Starr for trying to end the match too quickly.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Lucious Starr is getting no love here tonight.

LINZI MARTIN: And why should he? He’s been nothing but trouble.

Starr brings Violet to her feet and whips her into the ropes. Harper runs back and Starr executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker with ease. Then Starr climbs to the top rope showing his agility, landing a shooting star leg drop on Violet. Another cover.

1..

2..

Kick out!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Violet is showing her resiliency, but Starr is starting off impressive.

LINZI MARTIN: No doubt he’s the more experienced of the two, but Violet is a tough chick!

Starr gets up to his feet as does Violet. Starr lands a few chops on Violet’s chest and then gives her a thrust kick to the chest sending her into the turnbuckles. Starr goes for a corner splash but Violet moves out of the way just in time. Violet connects with a roundhouse kick to the back of Starr’s head! Violet slams Starr face-first into the turnbuckle, and another for good measure. Violet sends Starr into the ropes. Starr counters with an attempted lariat off the ropes but Violet does the splits and ducks right underneath it, bouncing back up with a jumping side kick catching Starr right in the jaw and putting him against the ropes. Violet runs and leaps, hitting a cross body on Starr as they both go over the top rope and splash to the outside!

MIKEY MASSACRE: It’s about to get interesting Linzi. We’re gonna see how tough Lucious Starr really is. This ain’t P dubya A!

LINZI MARTIN: No it ain’t Mikey!

Starr gets to his feet and gives Violet a kick to the gut. Starr throws Violet into the barricade. He does it again and then he throws her into the steel steps. Violet gets to her feet and ducks a punch from Starr, slamming her knee into his gut and then slams Starr’s face into the steel steps! Violet leaps off the steel steps with an enziguri and connects! Starr falls on his back from the impact. Violet gets to her feet, bringing Starr up to her feet as the Rebel Pro crowd is going crazy. The referee is just watching because count outs are for pussies. Violet springboards off the barricade and connects with another kick to the back of Starr’s head. Violet then slams Starr face-first onto the apron and whips him toward the ringpost – he connects face-first!

Linzi Martin: YEAH! Girl power!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Violet is really taking it to Starr outside the ring.

Violet closes in on Starr but Starr gives her a kick to the gut and then quickly delivers a running powerbomb right onto the arena floor! Violet looks devastated from the impact and Starr gets to his feet, running Violet into the ring. Starr makes the cover!

1..

2..

KICK OUT!!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Another close one as Starr makes a third pinfall attempt, but unable to put our Aggression Champion away.

LINZI MARTIN: She’s tough, but Starr seems to be wearing her down.

Violet is clutching at her back and Starr brings her to her feet. He whips her to the ropes and she smashes into the turnbuckles. Starr puts her on the top rope. Starr is going for the Grim Reaper, his signature sit-out powerbomb from the top rope, but Harper counters with a hurricanrana sending Starr from the top rope crashing down to the mat!

MIKEY MASSACRE: What a reversal by Violet Harper! She did her homework!

LINZI MARTIN: She’s awesome!

MIKEY MASSACRE: You gonna marry her? She lives close enough to Massachusetts.

LINZI MARTIN: No! I just think she’s great!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Uh huh, so THAT’S why you don’t so close to me.

LINZI MARTIN: Yeah, Mikey, clearly that’s the only reason why.

Violet is getting to her feet as is Starr. Violet ducks a clothesline from Starr and gets met with a spinning backfist from Violet. Violet returns a few knife-edge chops on Starr and then kicks him in the gut, taking him down with a swinging neckbreaker. Violet hops onto the top rope, springboarding off with an Asai moonsault and connecting right on Starr! She covers him quickly.

1..

2..

KICK OUT!

LINZI MARTIN: And Violet finally makes an attempt to win the match, but Starr kicks out just after the two.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Starr was dominating the first part of the match but Violet is coming back.

Starr gets up to his feet with the ropes and gives a charging Violet a kick to the ribs. Starr uppercuts her with his right knee and then takes her down with a brainbuster suplex! Starr doesn’t go for the pin, but brings Violet back up to her feet and slams his fist into her pretty face several times, then throwing her into the corner. Starr lays into her with lefts and rights, connecting in her stomach and on her face. Violet gets busted open at the nose, blood pouring out from her right nostril.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And she’s cut! Violet’s cut!

LINZI MARTIN: Come on Violet! You can do it girl!

Starr takes her down with a double underhook suplex. Starr goes for a pin.

1..

2..

KICK OUT!!

Starr shakes his head.

LUCIOUS STARR: COME ON! GIVE UP!

Starr brings her up to her feet. Starr tries for the Hell’s Wrath but Violet slips out of the suplex and lands behind Starr. Violet delivers a bicycle kick right to Starr’s chest, knocking him over the top rope! Unbelievable strength from the Aggression Champion!

MIKEY MASSACRE: The crowd is going crazy here!

Starr is getting to his feet but Violet leaps over the top rope with hang time and connects with a cross body on Starr! Violet gets up to her feet and gives Starr repeated kicks to the ribs and even lands one in the groin area, much to the referee’s dismay. But this is Rebel, and if dudes can get an M-80 to the balls, they can get a girl’s boot to the balls. Violet begins to destroy Starr on the outside with kicks and punches and then finishes Starr off with a kick to the head that smashes Starr’s head against the ringpost! Starr falls to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Violet reaches for something underneath the ring! It’s a fire extinguisher!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Here we go! This is why Rebel loves her! She knows how to get crazy!

LINZI MARTIN: Wait..is she?

Yes she is. Violet hands Linzi the fire extinguisher.

Violet Harper: You’ll know when to use it!

She gives Linzi a wink. Linzi likes it.

MIKEY MASSACRE: You guys should totally be in this film I’m shooting…

LINZI MARTIN: Shut up Mikey!

Violet goes back to Starr and gives him a running kick to the face. Violet grabs one more thing from underneath the ring – a container of lighter fluid. Uh..oh. Violet pours the lighter fluid all over the announcer’s table!

MIKEY MASSACRE: Oh crap! She’s pouring the rest on herself! What the fuck is she doing?!

LINZI MARTIN: I.. I don’t know! This is insanity!

Violet grabs Starr who gives Violet a elbow to the gut. Starr shoves Violet away, trying to regain himself, but Violet connects with a dropkick on Starr laying him across the announcer’s table! It’s almost perfect! Violet has a crazy look in her eyes and she walks over to Starr, while waving away MIKEY MASSACRE and LINZI MARTIN. She gives Starr…a kiss on the forehead?

LINZI MARTIN: This is bizarre.

MIKEY MASSACRE: Jealous?

Linzi isn’t amused, and Violet is back in the ring. She climbs to the top rope…and Starr is managing to get to his feet on the announcer’s table. Violet pulls out a lighter.

MIKEY MASSACRE: SHE’S GONNA BLOW US UP!

But Violet does the unthinkable. She lights her clothes on fire! The crowd is eating this shit up! THEY’RE GOING CRAZY! VIOLET IS GOING CRAZY! WHAT THE HELL! VIOLET LEAPS OFF THE TOP ROPE AND CONNECTS WITH THE PURPLE HAZE ON STARR THROUGH THE ANNOUNCER’S TABLE, ENGULFING THEM BOTH IN FLAMES AS THEY BLOW THE TABLE UP!

LINZI MARTIN: OH FU—

She doesn’t even finish her curse. She sprays them both immediately with the fire extinguisher. Amazing, Violet finds the strength to roll Starr over and drape an arm over him. The referee is shocked, but habitually drops to the ground.

1…

2…

3!!!

DING DING DING!!!

JENNY JERSEY: Your winner of the match by pinfall… VIOLET… HARPER!!!!

The crowd is silent for a moment, waiting for a signal from Violet. Anything. To let them know their champion is okay. Violet is struggling to get to her feet… and she looks a little on the well-done side. Her hair is all messed up and burnt. Her clothes are nearly burnt off leaving her sexy lingerie pretty much hanging out there for everyone to see. Who wrestles in that? She seems to have some burns on her arms…but…she’s conscious…and it’s amazing. Starr however, is not.

MIKEY MASSACRE: THAT WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!

LINZI MARTIN: I LOVE YOU VIOLET!

MIKEY MASSACRE: I knew it!

Violet wobbles and slides into the ring…the referee slides with her and throws a blanket that just happened to be handy over her. Her hand gets raised as “Gasoline” blares loudly, but not as loud as the crowd cheering her on. Violet asks for a mic.

VIOLET: That was for you, Rebel! I just wanted you to know…I… fuck me. That was crazy. What I’m trying to say is that I’m willing to do anything to show the rest of the community that Rebel Pro is number one!

The crowd pops harder than a teenage zit. But Violet isn’t done.

VIOLET: And that was also for you, Emily. THAT’S HOW YOU BLOW SHIT UP!

The crowd cheers her on more, as she gives a crazy smile, trying to fix her messed up burnt hair. Nothing she’s doing is working to fix that problem.

VIOLET: Any moron with a pack of matches can burn down a ring, no offense Simon. Takes balls of steel to do what I just did. Let’s see you top that, Big Bird.

Harper tosses the mic as the crowd cheers her on again. She slowly climbs out of the ring as Starr is finally getting up to his feet, not knowing what the fuck happened.

MIKEY MASSACRE: And Violet does it again, beating PWA Tag Team Champion and all-around douchebag extraordinaire Lucious Starr. Can anyone stop her?

LINZI MARTIN: I.. I love her.

MIKEY MASSACRE: That’ll do, Linzi.

*****A Beautiful Teaser*****

We come back from commercial and we’re set for the next match but the lights go out. A long pink light shines on the stage as the big screen starts to flash numbers across. ’8. 22. 11.’ and then the words “Life is full of beauty. Notice it, next week.”

*****REBEL Pro World Tag Team Championship Match*****
*****Hardcore Entertainment versus Lisa Seldon & Emily Corlen©*****

The bell sounds and Lisa strikes first with a Yakuza Kick, putting Bubba out over the ropes. Meanwhile Emily catches Black with a Dropkick that puts him to the corner. The two then set on him and whip him to the ropes. Emily steps forward and catches him with a kick to the stomach while Lisa hits the adjacent ropes and comes back with a kick to the head that spins him around and stands him up. She then leans out and snaps back with a Superkick, catching him under the jaw and putting him on the canvas. Lisa then hits the ropes but gets swept to the outside by Bubba. Emily meanwhile continues the attack by hitting the ropes and returning with a back Senton flat across his chest.

Outside Lisa is whipped to the rail but manages to catch it under her feet, stepping up and then flipping herself into a backflip over Bubba’s head. He turns around and walks into a kick in the gut, followed by one under the chin and then a Legsweep to drop him to the ground. Bubba sits up and sees Lisa’s foot coming right at his head as she puts it on his face, pushes forward and shatters his head off the concrete floor. Inside the ring Emily has black off the mat and in the corner, where she lights him up with lefts and rights. She then grabs an arm and wings him to the opposite corner, letting him before charging across, only to run straight into a Big Boot. Emily staggers back and Black runs her down with a Lariat, whipping her right down into the canvas.

Lisa gets Bubba up and flattens his chest with a Push Kick, sending him into the rail. Lisa then tries to charge him down with a Roundhouse but he catches her leg, turns and swings her like a Baseball bat into and over the rail. Meanwhile Black puts Emily down with a Bodyslam, hits the ropes and comes down on top of her with a big Legdrop. He then swings over into the cover.

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Emily kicks and Black slides off her. Meanwhile Bubba is outside the ring gathering the good from under the ring, and slides a few of the more choice items in. Black starts with a bat in barbedwire, twirling in his hand as he makes his way back to Emily. She gets up to all fours and Black drops on top of her, straddling her back and digging the barbs into her skull. Outside Bubba gets on a run, steps off a chair and throws himself into what would best be described as a Suicide Dive.

Bubba and Lisa collide and skid through a sea of chairs. Bubba comes down on top of her but Lisa flips him off and the two scramble back to their feet, with Lisa coming up and winging a chair at Bubba that bends around his head. He shrugs it off though and catches another one coming from Lisa in a high arc. Lisa tries to pull it back but Bubba snaps to the side, sending her to the floor and giving him the weapon to bring down on top of her gut. He then swings for a second but Lisa kicks it back and sends him away. She then scrambles to her feet and waits for him to go again, allowing her to get a foot up and smash their chair back into his face. It wobbles him again and she takes off at him in a run, but Bubba absorbs the blow, turns and hurls her through a mess of chairs that break beneath her. He then wades in after. Back in the ring Vincent has Emily on her back.

Black comes up with the bat and brings it down over her face, only for her to roll out of the way and let it stick to the mat. He has trouble pulling it free, allowing Emily to get to her feet and catch him with a Toe Kick up under the jaw to send him away. She then grabs the first thing at hand, which happens to be a large metallic bin, and sticks it over his head. Vincent tries to get it off but finds it stuck, allowing Emily to tear the bat free and smash it into the bin, denting it back into his face. Black goes down and Emily goes off on him, bringing it down over and over again with shots about his body and head. She then tosses the bat aside and hits the ropes, firing herself back into a Senton on top of him.

In the crowd Bubba extracts Lisa from a mess of chairs and gives her a stiff right hand that sends her to the rail. A gob of blood and spit flies from her lips, but she keeps it together and gets her legs up as he comes in, wrapping them around his head and trapping his arm in a Triangle before falling back over the rail. Bubba tries to fight her off but Lisa wraps her hands around the back of his head and squeezes his throat into the rail. Back in the ring, Emily gets Vincent up and into a Snap Suplex that brings him down into a barbedwire board, the strands tangling and biting into them as he tries to fight his way out. He doesn’t get far though as Emily grabs another one and drops it on top of him, wire side down. Emily then preps him with a few stomps before taking to the ropes, raising her hands and then coming off the second with a Double Stomp, cracking the top board under the impact and twisting a mess of wire into his skin.

Emily rolls through to her feet and turns back to Black (lol), tearing off the top board and taking several bits of him with it before she sinks into the pin.

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Vincent kicks, the wire biting into him again as he pulls himself free of the pin. Outside the ring Lisa finally lets go her hold and drops to the mats. Bubba hangs over the rail slipping in and out of consciousness while Lisa makes her way back to the ring.

Emily pulls Black free and pushes him toward Lisa, who catches his head, pulls him down and rips through his face with a knee. This snaps black up and allows Lisa to send him stumbling back with a Push Kick, right into the hands of Emily who locks around his waist, leans back and buries him with a German Suplex. The force however stops her holding the bridge, forcing her to turn over into the pin. Lisa keeps guard.

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Black kicks again and Emily clambers to her knees, a little perturbed as she wipes away the blood dripping down her forehead. She keeps her resolve though and lifts him up while Lisa takes off to the apron. Emily gets behind Black and turns him toward Lisa, who jumps up with an attempted Springboard, only to be caught by Bubba and pulled down, cracking her jaw off the apron. Emily is momentarily taken back, allowing Black to reach back and crack her with an Elbow. He then moves in behind her and secures a standing Rear Naked Choke, giving Bubba time to slip into the ring. Once he does, black drops the hold and kicks Emily forward to Bubba, who cracks her wide open with a huge Roundhouse Swing of a chair.

Emily goes to fall but Black catches her around the waist and drops her to the floor. He then grabs her legs for a Wheelbarrow and lifts, sending her to Bubba who flips her off, turns and then jacks her jaw with the Trailer Park Trash.

Black then grabs the cover.

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Lisa slides in at the last second, slipping through Bubba’s legs and managing to tag Black with an Elbow to break the cover. Bubba sets on her immediately and turns to give her the bum’s rush out of the ring, but Lisa turns it around and sends him in his place. Bubba only goes as far as the apron though, unbeknownst to Lisa who goes after Black with a Punt Kick to the head as he was still hanging over Emily. Lisa then lets him get up before she tags him with a few lefts and rights, ending with a Rolling Solebut before she hits the ropes, only to run into a big right hand from Bubba that leaves her wobbled. Black steps in and catches her stumbling back with a Northern Lariat, putting her on the canvas. Emily meanwhile rolls under the ropes to recover.

Black and Bubba lift Lisa off the mat by her arms and whip her into the corner. Bubba then whips Black after her sending him in with a Big Boot that misses the mark and leaves him straddled on the top-rope. Bubba then comes next and Lisa passes him by, letting him collide with his partner as she makes for the opposite corner, steps off and then charges back at a run that allows her to run up Bubba and step off him with a Tiger Wall Flip.

Lisa lands on a knee and Bubba runs forward to grab her, only for Lisa to roll through, leap from the mat and land feet first on Vincent Black to take him over with a Monkey Flip. Black rolls away and begins to get to his feet as Bubba comes at Lisa again, only to be caught hand in hand in a single Knuckle Lock. He swipes at her with his free hand but Lisa steps under, brings up her leg and cracks him around the side of her head, leaving her wobbled long enough for Lisa to take a run up the corner. Black gets into position and Lisa leaps off, wrapping her ankles around his head and twisting down to send them both across the mat with a Lucha Roll.

Lisa gets to her feet and spies Bubba in the corner. She then charges him down with a Yakuza Kick, snapping his head back and sending the spit flying, but Bubba manages to hold onto her leg, allowing Black to rush up from behind and crack her across the back of the head with a Double Axe-Handle Smash. Lisa’s head goes fuzzy and Bubba uses the moment to pick her up, using his under leg hook to bring her off the mat and smash her into the canvas with a Modified Powerbomb. Bubba and Black then go looking for props.

Bubba secures two chairs while Black gathers up a mess of light tubes all bundled together with electrical tape. The fans let out a cheer.

Bubba sets up the chairs seat to seat and Black bridges them with the tubes before the two set back on Lisa. Bubba pulls her up by the head and gets socked in the gut for his troubles, but he follows up by burying a knee in her gut and then tossing her to Black. The two then lift her end to end; Bubba securing a Wheelbarrow as Black puts his hands up under her shoulders. The two then lift, pushing her straight into the air and off to the side, putting her high into the lights and giving her a few seconds to think about it before she plummets back down.

Lisa hits and the glass explodes, sending shards and gas spewing up like a volcano. Lisa bounces from the mat and staggers out on pure instinct, right into Black who floors her with a Big Boot. He then sinks down for the cover.

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And this time its Lisa’s turn to kick out, her shoulder shooting off the mat as she turns to her front. Black shakes his head but comes up after her, latching his hand into her hair and easily pulling her off the mat. He then buries a big Uppercut into her gut with enough force to lift her from the mat before he turns around and sends her to Bubba, who comes up with a barbedwire chair and brings it down on the top of her head with a crack that resounds through the arena. Lisa rocks and then drops to her knees. A single drop of blood slowly weeps down her forehead.

Unperturbed, Bubba lifts Lisa up by the hair, her already bright red locks slowly beginning thickening as a cut forms on the top of her head. Bubba then pitches her to the corner and rams the chair edge first into her gut to double her over. Bubba then jumps out of the way as Black comes in with a Boot, crushing her head against the buckle, before stepping back and allowing her to hang out over the chair. She doesn’t get long to rest though as Black kicks out the chair, letting her fall to the mat before he drags her out and into the cover.

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Once more she kicks, much to the shock of Hardcore Entertainment. Black gets her p though and sends her back to the corner where he grinds her face beneath a boot. Bubba meanwhile lets her go and turns his attention to a sheet of glass that causes the fans to rise.

It’s a bit of a struggle but Black eventually manages to get the sheet of glass up and leaned against the second turnbuckle. Bubba then signals to Black. Vincent then pulls Lisa out of the corner and sets her up between his legs for a Powerbomb. He then points down to the glass.

Black rips Lisa off the mat and onto his shoulders, but Lisa fights back by digging the point of her elbow into the top of his head to break his grip. She then drops off behind him and rolls through a Clothesline attempt from Bubba. Lisa then winds up in the ropes and uses them to get her feet. She then drops down with the top one in her hands, low bridging Black to the outside. Bubba tries next and runs into a kick that he just manages to catch and toss back. Lisa tries to flip through but her foot catches the ropes, causing her to drop straight down and crack her head off the mat.

Black slides back under the ropes and joins Bubba dropping stops on Lisa’s back. He then gets Lisa up in the Wheelbarrow and turns her toward Bubba but she immediately shoots a blast of green mist into his eyes to send him back. Lisa then throws herself forward and grabs Black’s legs for a Victory Roll, sending him into Bubba and leaving them in a heap. Lisa jumps up as Bubba sinks to a knee and Vincent drops to all fours, giving Lisa the perfect platform to run up and smash Bubba with a Shining Wizard.

Bubba goes down and Lisa snatches up Black, catching him in a clinch and then brutalising him with knees to the head that he struggles to shake off. Lisa hits four and then leans back into a fifth, bringing it up and through his face, opening up a gash that sprays blood across the ring as his

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head snaps back. Black then falls into the corner and Lisa charges forth with a Kick straight up through his jaw. Black sinks to the corner and Lisa goes wild with kicks, holding the ropes for support as she fires into shots to his face again and again. Bubba tries to get back into it but Emily pulls him to the outside, leaving Lisa to fire of feral shots anywhere she can get space.

Lisa finally lets him up and rattles him with two shots before turning with a Spinning Back Elbow that tears through the side of his head. Black goes fuzzy for a moment but shakes it off, allowing him to grab the back of her head and pull down, smashing it off the canvas. Black then drops to a knee over her, but keeps himself together and comes back up with Lisa between his hands. He then bounces her off the ropes and draws her back in to a series of body blows that send her left and right before one crumples her to the mat. Black then leans in and buries a knee into her face.

Bubba holds Emily back as Black moves in for the kill, but Lisa shakes her head no and comes up with a Roaring Elbow as Black tries to lift her. Lisa then rushes forward, cracking him first with a Spinning Backfist that brings

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him down to a knee. Lisa then thumps both fists to the mat, comes up and buries a Buzzsaw Kick deep through the side of his skull.

Black teeters forward and face plants into the mat. Lisa then rolls him for the cover.

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Outside the ring Emily tries to hold Bubba back but he throws her into the rail…

2

He slides in…

… and just breaks the count of three.

Emily ruses in and pulls bubba down by the leg, allowing Lisa to catch him with a kick. Emily then picks him up off the mat and Lisa tags him with a Spinning Back Kick that turns him back toward Emily who thumps him with the Skullcracker. Lisa then charges forward with a Flying Knee, crashing into Bubba and sending the two of them over the ropes.

Lisa and Bubba get back to the fun of tossing chairs at each other and fighting out into the crowd, leaving Emily to clean up. She begins by pulling Black off the mat and throwing him to the ropes and then catching him on the return, dragging him up into her arms and whirling around before she buries him with the Spiral Twister. She then leans back to hook the leg.

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And he throws up a shoulder, much to Emily’s chagrin.

Emily picks him up again and her eyes turn toward the sheet of glass. Emily then grabs Black from behind, hooking both his arms behind him and preparing to lift him up but Black kicks his legs and keeps himself grounded. Emily tries again but Black leans toward to take her off balance and then throws his head back, cracking her in the face.

The two stagger but Black keeps himself standing and drops Emily with a kick. He then grabs her up pulls her into the air for a Powerbomb but Emily fights back with a series of punches. Black whoever keeps his head clear, turns her toward the glass and then hammers her down with the New Hope, ripping her through the glass that shatters up and rips through her skin.

Emily splinters against the mat and Black leans in over the top of her.

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3!

DNG DING DING

Mikey Massacre: You’re shitting me…
Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match, and NEEEEEEEEEEEEW REBEL PRO TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…. Bubba J and Vincent Black…. HARDCORE ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!
Outside the ring Lisa and Bubba stop their fighting and turn toward the ring where Black is fighting to his feet. Lisa give it a thought and then shrugs it off, patting Bubba on the head as she makes her way toward the back.

*****The Confederate Copperhead*****

“Born This Way” by Lada GaGa hits as Jeremy Gold steps out to quite a few cheers from the crowd. He makes his way to the ring and slides in, grabbing a microphone.

Jeremy Gold: As you all saw earlier tonight, a terrible, terrible thing happened.

Once again, as on the pay-per-view, and last week’s Aggression taping, the lights go out again as the fans start buzzing in anticipation with Jeremy Gold in the ring. We can hear him shivering with fear as he drops his microphone and it thumps on the canvas.

Mikey Massacre: I really hope we don’t see any more snakes tonight…

Linzi Martin: I just hope this isn’t what I think it is.

While the lights are out, the bag-pipe solo at the start of “Copperhead Road” by Steve Earle begins to play over the P.A. system as the fans keep buzzing in anticipation. Suddenly, the lights come back on and we hear “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd playing over the P.A. system as the fans just erupt in cheers upon hearing that familiar music as Jeremy Gold is shaking his head in fear.

Mikey Massacre: Could it be who I think it is?

Linzi Martin: Nothing like Lynyrd Skynyrd to get all the hicks excited…

Just then, we see a black and gold 1984 Buick Grand National head down the ramp with a Rebel flag on the antenna. When it comes to a stop and the door opens, we see a man in a straw cowboy hat with a Johnny Cash T-shirt with the image of Cash giving the camera the middle finger and acid-wash jeans with cowboy boots. When he removes his hat and lifts his head up, we see that it’s none other than “The Confederate Copperhead” J.T. Whiplash as the fans just erupt into a loud ovation in the heart of “Whiplash Country”.

Mikey Massacre: HE’S BACK! I can’t believe it! J.T, Whiplash has returned home like a modern day prodigal son!

Linzi Martin: What is HE doing here? Get him out of here!

Whiplash takes a moment to soak in the ovation with tears in his eyes and a smile before he pulls himself together and tags hands with a few fans on his way to ring-side. Jeremy Gold is shaking his head in fear as Whiplash looks out at Gold with a devilish grin. Gold then takes a microphone and irately addresses Whiplash.

Jeremy Gold: NO! NO! NO! YOU are NOT welcome here! Get him out of here… SECURITY! Get him out of here!

Whiplash looks at Gold in a perturbed manner before he kicks him between the legs and hoists him up for a piledriver before dropping him on his head, knocking him out cold as Whiplash gets up and pounds his chest to another ovation.

Mikey Massacre: I don’t think Jeremy Gold is going to be feeling so eccentric after getting dropped on his head like that!

Linzi Martin: What a blatant show of disrespect by J.T. Whiplash! If he treats authority figures this way, how will he treat the rest of the roster?

J.T. then grabs Jeremy Gold by the neck-tie and screams loudly in his face.

J.T. Whiplash: THIS. IS. MY. HOUSE! YA UNDERSTAND ME, SON? MY HOUSE! NOW GIT OUTTA MY DAMN RING!

At that moment, J.T. throws a lifeless Jeremy Gold over the top rope as the fans chant “WEL-COME HOME! WEL-COME HOME!” J.T. smiles upon hearing this as he takes the microphone and begins to speak.

J.T. Whiplash: As ol’ Dorothy said in th’ “Wizard Of Oz”… there’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! There’s. NO. PLACE… like HOME! An’ J.T. Whiplash is here, live an’ in livin’ color on yer television sets once again makin’ more returns than a Larry Gordon check!

The fans erupt upon hearing this as Whiplash continues.

J.T. Whiplash: Welp, now that we got that mushy stuff outta th’ way… let’s git down to bid-ness! First of all, I stand here today a bit humbled by this reception y’all have a-given me here in my stompin’ grounds of good ol’ Rocky Top… WOOOO!!!… Rocky Top, Tennessee!

As the fans cheer for the reference of the Tennessee Volunteers, J.T. holds his hand up and starts to speak.

J.T. Whiplash: I wanna take this opportunity to tell y’all here in th’ audience, all of y’all in the back, an’ all th’ staff that I am sorry for a-lettin’ y’all down like I have. I don’t deny I got a truckload of demons an’ I ain’t always been th’ best at a-managin’ ‘em. It’s come back to bite me a few times here. Yeah, I know I’m a total screw-up… I’ve pissed away a lotta opportunities in my life. Well, boys an’ girls, startin’ today… I ain’t a-gonna piss away no more opportunities! It’s time fer me to be th’ leader here I know I’m capable of a-bein’. I know damn well I ain’t gotta lotta time left here in this bid-ness, or hell… maybe even my life! I’m 51 years old and have abused th’ hell outta myself fer years an’ I KNOW I’m on borrowed time. But I’m a-bound an’ determined to have one last good run left in me!

The fans cheer loudly upon hearing this as Whiplash continues.

J.T. Whiplash: Now… let’s git down to a-talkin’ ‘bout good ol’ Bubba J! Now Bubba… ya had some purty strong words to say ‘bout me an’ I got every right to possum-stomp yer fat, bald ass so hard that yer grand-kids would be born unconscious! But… ya wanna know where I stand? Brother… I’m ALL REBEL, baby! I’m a-gonna bleed buckets of blood, cash my checks, snap some necks, cracks some backs, and make some livers quiver as I rearrange yer faces with style an’ grace! An’ if ya don’t dig this mess, then yer at th’ wrong address! Ya seem to be a-fergettin’ that I’m th’ original show-stoppin’, pill-poppin’, hell-raisin’, skirt-chasin’, quick-thinkin’, liquor-drinkin’, pulse-poundin’, heart-racer, th’ scarred face hit-maker, th’ record-breaker, th’ innovator, th’ motivator, th’ commentator-complicator, th’ reflection of perfection, th’ number one selection, th’ man of th’ hour, th’ man with th’ power, too sweet to be sour, sizzlin’ like T-bone steak, sweeter than a German chocolate cake, I can make a rich woman beg, a good woman steal, an old woman blush, an’ a lil’ girl squeal! And while yer in th’ back, a-laughin’ an’ a-jokin’… I’m in th’ ring… drinkin’ an’ smokin’… WOOOO!!!

J.T. gets on his knees and addresses Bubba J, literally shaking with rage.

J.T. Whiplash: Ya wanna know if I got what it takes to stick around? Ya wanna try to yank th’ chain of “The Confederate Copperhead”, do ya? DO YA? Well, son… yer a-gonna find out what I’m all ‘bout soon ‘nuff! I’m Southern-born, Southern-bred, an’ BY GOD WHEN MY REBEL ASS DIES… I’LL BE SOUTHERN-DEAD! Ya wanna see what I’m a-capable of, do ya? Well, I’m a-gonna be leavin’ a trail of blood, sweat, an’ tears in my wake! I don’t give two squirts of piss if yer Bubba J, that angry black mental midget Simon Kalis, that whiny lil’ bitch Emily Corlen, that dumb gothic goof Legion, that village whore Violet Harper, th’ lean, mean lispin’ machine Lisa Seldon, or even Bobby Lee… if ya got th’ hair on yer peaches… git ready fer a lesson in ass-kickin’ 101, with professor J.T. Whiplash! So… REBEL Pro… y’all brang ‘em to me, I’m a-gonna keep knockin’ ‘em down an’ raisin’ a lil’ hell along th’ way! Now I gotta titty bar to hit… th’ lessons start next week, boys an’ girls!

J.T. tosses the microphone into the crowd as he climbs out of the ring and tags hands with all the fans around ring-side as they chant “J-T-WHIP-LASH! J-T-WHIP-LASH!” as “Simple Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play over the P.A. system.

Mikey Massacre: What an emotional, riveting speech by J.T. Whiplash! Love him or hate him… you can’t deny these REBEL Pro fans LOVE him like one of their own.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, yeah, yeah… let’s see if he last two weeks!

We fade out to one last shot of J.T Whiplash slapping hands with the fans as he makes his way backstage…

*****The World‘s A Stage*****

“I Started A Joke” by The Bee Gees begins to play throughout the arena as the lights go out and the audience is left with nothing but the dark glow from the REBELtron. The lights stay down, just for a minute, and when they come back up…

…The air is littered with playing cards, falling like confetti from the ceiling. A maniacal laughter can be heard over the speakers as a single image appears on the REBELtron…

Be Right Back

…The cackling and downpour of cards continues as the show fades to black.

*****QUICK RESULTS*****

Legion defeats Justin Case and then there’s a big surprise! A WRECKLESS SURPRISE!
Violet Harper defeats Lucious Starr in a fiery blast of sexiness!
Hardcore Entertainment defeats Emily Corlen & Lisa Seldon and become New Tag Team Champions!

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