The Harlequin versus Electra

The match began technically sound with Electra taking early advantage of a drop toe hold into a side headlock. As Harlequin pushed her off she flew with a lariat and from there an assortment of strikes. It wouldn’t take long for Harlequin to take the momentum, though, as he took advantage of a mis-timed flying head scissors to convert Electra’s attempt into a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker. It was almost non-stop from there, as an irish whip to the corner saw Electra stomped repeatedly into the ground. After pulling her to her feet and preparing for a final move, Electra saw one last opening to strike with a sitout jawbreaker, but as Harlequin staggered backwards she hit the ropes again. On the pass he ducked he move and on her rebound he landed a big boot to the gut, followed finally by his “Pie in your Eye” facebuster for the pin.

Winner: The Harlequin

Umbra versus Abbey Graves

After the entrances, we find Abbey Graves and Umbra in the ring. Umbra sits in the corner and watches Abbey, not moving.

Maya steps up, microphone in hand. Hoping to to do a good job in front of the past ring announcer.

Maya: In this corner, weighing in at 110 pounds…from Chicopee, Mass. Abbey Graves!

Abbey waves to the fans before refocusing on the nutjob staring at her.

Maya: And sitting in the other corner, His height is unknown, His hometown is unknown, I wonder how big his dick is. UMBRA!

Umbra breaks his gaze from Abbey for the first time to look at Maya, who winks at him. Umbra just shakes his head and stands Abbey broke her gaze from Umbra as well to look at Maya, seemingly confused. In a flash Umbra tackles Abbey into the corner and starts stomping away at her violently. Since this is f***ing REBEL Pro the ref calls for the match to start. Umbra keeps stomping away before he backs from the corner and starts spazzing out on the ground. Abbey is a little beat up. but she looks at the freak on the ground with a look of confusion. She goes over to start stomping on him and lands a few before the spazzing stops and he surprises her with a quick roll up!

1..2…

Abbey kicks out and Umbra crawls backwards away from her. He stands and looks around, a bit confused before he timidly steps forward and offers his hand to Abbey for a handshake. Abbey looks at him like he’s an idiot, grabs his hand, and whips him into the ropes. Umbra bounces back and leapfrogs over Abbey and bounces off the far ropes. Umbra with a Lou Thesz Press!

Umbra starts raining fists down on Abbey wildly. They become more frenetic until Umbra just starts headbutting downwards over and over. Abbey is busted open and Umbras mask is covered in her blood. Umbra gets off of her and backs away and sits in the corner, seemingly frightened by his own actions.

Larry Gordon: Keep on her, you idiot!

Abbey stands and grabs a folding chair She gets in the ring and drops it in the corner. Umbra gives her no resistance as she DDT’s him on the chair. He just lay there motionless for a bit. Abbey pins him.

1..2..

Umbra kicks out!

Abbey grabs his hand as he starts to stand and goes to whip him into the corner but Umbra reverses it.

Umbra whips Abbey into the corner, but she walks up the turnbuckle and backflips over Umbra! It’s a pretty amazing sight, right before Umbra nails her with a superkick right as she lands.

Linzi Martin: SHADOWS SWIFT EMBRACE!

Larry Gordon: You know that shitstains finisher?

Linzi Martin: One of us has to do our research.

Umbra covers Abbey for a pin and starts tearfully apologizing to her.

1…2…3!!!

-DING DING DING-

Maya: Here is your winner, The creepy but still kind of sexy… Umbra!

Umbra looks at Maya, Abbey Graves blood dripping down his mask. We cant see his face, but we can imagine his confusion. Maya winks and licks her lips. The lights go out for just a moment and come back on, Umbra has disappeared.

CAKE: Featuring Some People or Something

Damn. As if we don’t have enough segments featuring the Aritst Formerly Known as Mitsubishi, here he is…again…in his office. Doing, I dunno, officey stuff and minding his own damn business for once when suddenly, an earthquake indusing voice booms from behind him.

???: HAI MASA!

He could single handedly break the record for the long jump. But he’s a Kalis and if he’s not used to loud and horrible noises by now, somebody needs to disown his ass. Seriously. As it stands though, he does a quick little double take at the rather mysterious appearance of Anna Mathews. Or as all you Rebel shmucks will now call her “Our Conquering Goddess”. He opens his mouth to say something that probably stupid, but Anna stops him with cake. Glorious cake. Of course, he accepts it. Eating cake with his cake eating grin. The jerk.

Adrian “I Hog All the Airtime In The World Ever” Kalis: So did you really mean it when you said you’d just hand the belt over to Shields?

She smiles.

Teh Goddess: Meh. Sure. Ai’m notta fraid ta be nice. ‘Sides hoo else kan it be yif et ain’t mii?

Adrian “Desperately Tries To Find A List Of Potential Champions” Kalis: Ummm. Jaice? Kvlt? Stone? Keenan?

Grand Dominator Supreme: Borink, useless, goin’ looney inna bad wai, an bitchy as all hell. Yesh. Dat’s a helluva list.

Ahhhh. The glory of sarcasm.

Adrian “Has Many Questions” Kalis: There’s such a thing as being crazy in a bad way?

Charming Master of the Universe: If et effects da proformance whorably, yeah.

Adrian “Is Really A Good General, Honest!” Kalis: He just won the number one contenders trophy!

Professor of Awesome: Against hoo? Fifty lusers and Virgil who wuz only a havva step behind.

Adrian “Captain Obvious” Kalis: Not all of us can dominate everything at warp speed, Anna.

This causes her to blink and put down her fork.

Dodo That Only Has One Speed Called Go-Go: Hmmm. Ai guess tat’s tru, innit?

Before this rather thrilling conversation can continue, a Puppet appears!

PuppetLiza: PuppetLisa’s missing!

Cue the dramamtic cord and Baron Von Kalis’ second double take of the night. He’s still not used to the puppets yet. Wuss.

Anna Mathews: Und bi missing, you mean…

PuppetLiza: I mean gone! Vanished! Ghostly! Poof!

She waggles her felted arms around. Apparently, this is serious business. Anna leaps off of her chair.

Anna Mathews: Shee prolly off trying two kill fings again. *sigh* Buuuut eye can’ts take teh chance.

With a flash, she’s gone! And back.

Anna Mathews: O. Sowwy, Mas. Let’s doo this agains sumtyme!

She plants a smootch on the top of his rather ghettofied head and disappears again. That won’t go over too well with the missus. But who cares? He still has cake. Nice delicious cake.

Adrian “For Fucks Sake Not Simon” Kalis: Charms.

He smiles and sits down with the cake as we fade to ringside.

Jason Arkertome versus “The Show” Chad Kurtis

Linzi Martin: Two time REBEL heavyweight champion Kurtis set in action against another all-american player with credentials that stretch to Harvard’s side of accolades. What can you expect between this ring veteran and that high scholar, Norton?

Jake Norton: Some might imagine it to be a balanced exchange, but on the contrary I suspect Chad Kurtis to outdo Arker here. Not because Arker isn’t a smart guy, but bookworms can’t meet street smarts through same means; especially when this street smarty is backed by years of experience; years of perfecting a specific style. He’s a former heavyweight champion for that exact reason, Linzi.

Disproving Norton’s prediction in the opening minutes by switching Chad’s mat-play into a brawling challenge via mounted backfisting, Arkertome focuses on Chad’s spine heavily. Not allowing himself to stay under Arker’s control, Chad tries muscling out by elbowing, but Arker being a technician himself, seizes the arm to apply his own headscissors armbar.

Advancing eleven minutes later, Chad has a weak left arm and back, thanks to Arker’s determined workings, but has managed to mess Arker up noticeably by countering Arker’s Irish Whip into a belly-to-belly for his own front-flip piledriver! A shocking turn that literally came from nowhere and left Arker unconscious, Chad breathless and fans stunned. Way to even the odds, Chad-boy!

Capitalizing should have happened sooner but Chad’s wounds stomped his pace considerably. Still, Kurtis managed to find a pulse within to Leg hook Saito Suplex his still fighting adversary, causing Arker to back himself into a corner, which foolishly allows Kurtis to get ballsy by darting across the ring for a cannonball senton! This is where Kurtis should pin but instead, looking to maximize his chances, Chad ascends the turnbuckles quickly and shoots upward for a best moonsault ever, which by no means is his finest, but was enough to keep Arker down for the three.

Jake Norton: Sexy ending, right there.

Linzi Martin: I’m surprised Arker got a near twenty minute match from Chad.

Jake Norton: He may not have won but taking a former REBEL Pro champion to a challenging distance rubs on him well. These two may be forced to wrestle again but on a higher stage for much more at stake than just pride and potential contendership. I’m sure Chad Kurtis will keep Arker’s threat in mind.

Linzi Martin: Nonetheless, Chad kept going and found victory because of this will. Anna best be ready for a new wave.

NANANANANANANANA VAXMAN!

Alexander O’Ryan is already in the ring after we come back from a short commercial break. He is wearing a suit and yellow tie, over his shoulder there is a championship belt which despite being digitally blurred you can clearly has a Mexican flag on it. He brings a microphone to his mouth and begins to speak.

“I’m going to start off by saying just how surprised I am at the response I got from the fans last week when I showed up here in Rebel Pro. I’m usually accustomed to being booed when I first show up in a new promotion, not cheered. I thank you for that. That was a nice change right off the bat for me there.”

The fans in attendance respond with a small applause, they seem to get that he really is grateful.

“I requested to come to Rebel Pro because of that. I need to start over from the bottom up and even though I have the option of going back to PWA, or to join the not-so-newly named TGW I chose here instead.”

The fans burst into cheers, happy to hear that he is practically exclusive to them.

“Some of you who keep tabs on events outside of AoWF may have heard something about this, and don’t worry I won’t go into too much detail, but I have recently found myself in a stroke of back luck. I’ve lost my wrestling business empire down in Mexico, I’ve lost a large sum of money, and I’ve been taken down a few pegs because of it.”

he motioned to the title belt on his shoulder

“This is all I have left of what was once a very wealthy and braggadocios lifestyle I had developed because of that success. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not going to bring this out every week as a reminder of to all of you of how awesome I am. No. That’s something El Gringo Tonto would do. Instead what I’d like to do is ask just how many people here tonight would life to own a authentic lucha libre world championship?!”

The crowd pops huge at this, several members pointing at themselves or raising their hands.

“It isn’t going to be free, so how about we start a little auction right here, right now with a starting price of… oh… say… five dollars.”

several members of the crowd start waving five dollar bills towards O’Ryan, it isn’t clear if they know how an auction works or not.

“Do I hear ten dollars?”

predictably several thousand people make it obvious that he does. one fan in the front row whips out and starts waving a one-hundred.

“Yes! Perfect! Do I hear one fifty?”

One fan, not far from the last one obliges this.

“How about two-hundred, do I hear two hundred?”

The crowd is going crazy but almost none are going for this deal until one man up in the G section starts making it clear he’s a taker.

“Two-fifty?”

No takers, but the crowd seems to really be enjoying the interactivity

“Okay. Going once!”

…

“Going twice!”

…

“SOLD! To the fluffy fellow in section G with the Simon Kalis hat and the hotdog!”

Alexander gets out of the ring and actually hops the barricade into the crowd, walking up the stairs as fans around him try to touch him past security that followed him from the guardrail. He hands the title belt personally to the man before being asked by him for a picture, to which he obliges by handing off the camera to one of the security members. He then takes the money from the man before shaking hands with him. “Short change hero” then begins to play over the PA as O’Ryan makes his way out through the stands to a backstage area.

Virgil Keenan versus Jacob Figgins

Jake Norton: You know, I sure do enjoy commentating. Maybe I should’ve done this instead of actually wrestling cunts like Teresa Quaranta and Stevie Swing.

Linzi Martin: That’d take away half of their wins.

Jake Norton: Useless, I say. Unlike these next two fellas that aren’t stuck in the same combat pattern and know more tricks than a northern light suplex. Tell these people who’s coming, Lizzy!

Linzi Martin: Fifth generation superstar, pegged as ‘the next conspiracy’ Jacob Figgins–

Jake Norton: Who’s got a nasty habit of clotheslining the heads off faggots.

Linzi Martin: Against the cheeky, the walking paradox, and a bunch of other ‘Tyler, the Creator’ quotables, Virgil Keenan–

Jake Norton: Reminds me of myself. Except with a higher success rate..

Linzi Martin: Don’t compare yourself to Virgil. You’re a faggot.

Since we’re all about summarizing, let’s pick apart this fifteen minute non-stop lucrative bout creatively:

- Keenan, a well-known chain grappler, was suckered into Figgins’ seemingly mutual interest in beginning this match in Virgil’s favor but a spontaneous Lariat to Virgil brought about a near three count!! Fans, including the commentary team, went nuts, believing this to be a squash but when Virgil kicked out, yes, Figgins was slightly annoyed but happy with the result nonetheless. He’s got a serious advantage right here. To let Keenan reform would be a mistake.

- Continuing punishment on Keenan’s neck, Figgins utilized an unhooked necktie suplex into a cutthroat backdrop suplex, finished with a release deadlift german suplex! Pin attempt happens but no dice, fortunately for those Virgil fans.

- Lifting Virgil onto the top rope, which shows no love for his testicles, as Virgil straddles in pain: Figgins climbs the turnbuckle signaling for his signature. Two seconds pass and Jacob is ready to dive. When he does a second later, Virgil randomly takes hold and drives him into the canvas thanks to a double arm DDTTTTTTT!!!!! THE RANDOMNESS GETS CHEERS, naturally.

- Several variations of clinch holds focused on the trapezius muscle display Virgil’s uncommon technique quite well, but isn’t going to end the match. Nope, Virgil is an entertainer and has casual fans’ interest in mind. So, once Figgins is taken down into a headscissors lock, Virgil – NO! Jacob slickly rolls backward and steals a variation of Virgil’s texas cloverleaf! Making it worse on himself by trying to escape, Virgil’s groans increase but eventually three sharp elbows to Figgins’ back ends the submission.

- Figgins quickly jumps back on offense by kicking Virgil thrice in his ribs, but Virgil smashes his forearm against Jacob as he’s brought to his feet. Instead, one high impact knee to the gut temporarily paralyzes Virgil and allows Jacob to nail a Reverse STO! Now that Virgil is face down, Jacob slips to his knees to:

Jake Norton: Crossface! A step of his Conspiracy Theory is completed! Virgil is fucked!

Linzi Martin: No, Virgil won’t let him! He’s squirming – doing his fucking best to escape!

Jake Norton: Virgil knows if this locks in, it’s over.

It locks in. Figgins gots his crossface locked in, and Virgil is a bit away from the ropes. He doesn’t want to tap. He can’t tap. Not after all of this! Figgins can taste victory, and it’s possibly inches away. It all comes down to how long Virgil can last. How far Virgil is willing to go? But Figgins is intensifying his submission maneuver by bringing Virgil backward.

Jake Norton: MY GOD LIZZY!

Linzi Martin: Rollover! Virgil has got Figgins on his back, and the referee is counting!

1.. 2.. Kickout! Figgins released the hold. Close call but the game continues. Both men rush to their feet, and when they do:

Jake Norton: LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Linzi Martin: OH EJHQWAELF FUCKING EKFLLEWKJR GAWD! HE GOES FOR THE PIN!!

Jake Norton: 1.. 2… 3! THAT’S IT! HE’S DONE IT! HE DID IT! HOW IN THE FUCK—

Using his own finisher against him, Virgil Keenan remarkably overcame Jacob Figgins.

Jake Norton: And the winner of this match, Lizzy, is Virgil Keenan. =’)

Virgil Keenan is a Murderous ASSHOLE

It’s always the small things.”

“The tiny things like jack Spade saying he murdered a guy, and expecting us not to laugh.”

“The tiny things like the Order shitting all over the infinite playlist, what’ll you see next week?”

“It’ s Simon Kalis being hung upside down on a cross.”

“It’s the ever increasing roster of puppets.”

Virgil sits down a moment in the ring and grabbing the black cloaked item, about the size and silhouette of Al the bear.

“People have been asking what I’m doing, what am I going to do. Outside complaining, what is Virgil actually going to do to help place this company forward, removing the insulting images and perpetrators from its ranks. What task has he assigned himself going forward. Up till now all I’ve really done is talk, but this week I am placing my foot down and partaking in the action portion of activist. What I have here is a symbol, an icon in terms of what is wrong with AOWF.”

“What I have here is a statement.”

“What I have, is Puppetlisa.”

With that Virgil stands up and flicks the black cloak off, flinging it to the outside of the ring. Lumping to the side pathetically is Puppterlisa with a half smile, wool hair and stitching keeping it entwined.

“It doesn’t move, it doesn’t talk, it doesn’t type, it doesn’t insult, it doesn’t live.”

“It’s a fucking puppet and every week you all have to stare and gawk at it as a little girl goes through a plethora of voices and personalities. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea? Let some idiot savant walk the halls, stitching together puppets, dollz, and fucking miming title belts? Who thought that was a good message for our brand. Who decided to play it off like it’s anything but an insult. This puppet, this doll, It’s the spiritual follower to Al, a fucking stuffed bear that has actually held titles, it’s the spiritually follower to the smoking monkey, nothing but a blight on AOWF’s image. This puppet has actually managed to become a symbol and a commonplace sight amongst the halls, and we play the footage. Anna Mathews fucking has both Aggression and World titles around her waist coming out of BWM and I’m apparently the only one who’s fucking sick to his stomach by it. “

“So what I have before you is a plan to remove at least belt from her. You thought the Battle royal would be the end of me? I put all my eggs in one basket? No, not at all. I don’t need a trophy to get your attention Anna, I just need to speak up loud enough for you to hear me. “

I bend over grabbing the doll.

“I’m taking it upon myself, to take from you, your heart, like you’re taking away mine.”

I take the puppet by the arm and rip it off, tossing it into the fans.

“I’m destroying something you love, because you’re insulting mine.”

I stick my finger into the stuffing gaping hole left from the arm and rip the stitching apart and rip across the stomach, the dress and stuffing get thrown asunder.

“ Tonight I rid but one small dose of bullshit from the program, and I do it as a warning, as a call out that I’m not taking this shit, we, are not taking this shit. I hope you can hear me Anna, I hope your ears are wide open, because what you’re seeing here is nothing but a crystal ball of your immediate future. I will not accept no for an answer, I will not accept a retard as our mascot, I will not allow Rebel-pro, AOWF, to become the site of the Looney bin mother fuckers, and it starts with you.”

“I don’t have a title match? I never earned a title match?”

“You think that’ll stop me? You think I’m so easily defeated? I haven’t been preaching and talking about this only to let a loss stop me headlong. No, that’s not Virgil Keenan. I’m a man of action, of doing. I can’t topple a faction, on my own, I can’t fire Spade, umbra, and Mathews on the spot. I can’t make them stop being little bags of fags. That’s not something I can do as a competitor, as a mere wrestler. What i can do is make noise, enough noise that people start hearing it and ask what it’s all about. That’s how a message spreads Anna, that’s how movements begin.”

“Today A puppet, a sacrificial lamb.”

“Tomorrow the world title.”

“The next day? Complete and utter freedom, or perhaps just a moderation of media. Perhaps, mayhaps, perchance, a mode of stepping up our game, perhaps a hiring process that you don’t fill out on the back of a cereal box.”

“Does that really sound so farfetched? NO, it’s not, not to me. I’ll fight for it, I’ll be that guy who isn’t afraid to step forward and give a switch fucking kick to AOWF’s balls saying “we’re not okay with this.” We aren’t’ okay with 7 year and 10 year old factions trying to be relevant again. We are not okay with unrealistic joke competitors who are okay sliding by on mediocrity and their blatant insanity. “

“This is the date change began.”

Virgil drops the stuffing remains of Puppetlisa at his boot. He stomps it into the matt while he pulls out from his pocket a pack of matches. With a deep glare into the button eyes of the puppet, still half smiling like nothing was awry at all summons the last flick of the wrist, dropping the burning pack down onto the stitching fabric.

“Consider this your notice.”

Virgil drops the microphone and stage hands quickly roll into the ring, dousing the fire as Dancing through Sunday blares through the speakers.

Jaice Wilds versus Reece Paxton

The match started off with a handshake between these two Order of Chaos members. Jaice Wilds displayed his intense acrobatic and aerial skill, springboarding off the top rope and landing a vicious hurricanrana on Reece Paxton. Reece rolls with it and gets to his feet, hitting a reverse DDT on Jaice Wilds. Reece heads to the top rope and lands an elbow drop, goes for the cover but only gets a 2 count. Jaice Wilds is back in the thick of things with a senton splash, following it up with an asai moonsault. With Reece on the canvas, Jaice springboards off the top rope, flips, and hits an awesome leg drop. He covers but only gets a 2 count. Jaice continues his offensive dazzling, whipping The Coyote into the turnbuckle. He rushes and goes for a drop kick, flipping Reece out of the ring. He climbs to the turnbuckle but Reece slides back into the ring. Jaice turns around from the middle rope but Paxton grabs onto him, COYOTE CUTTER! Reece quickly covers! 1! 2!! 3!!! Reece takes it! But Reece helps Jaice to his feet and both men shake hands, and raise each others arms in a show of respect.

It’s A Ghost

We come back from commercial and find that Bobby Lee is making a total ass of himself. He isn’t booked for amatch, he’s just out there yelling at the fans. At one point his arguing with a fan becomes quite heated and he takes a swing at the fan. But seriously, it’s Bobby Lee. The fan ducks out of the way and is unharmed, but Bobby goes and grabs a chair from under the ring.

Linzi Martin: Someone needs to do something about that idiot.

All of a sudden out steps an individual in a very expensive looking suit, several of the fans recognize him but he hasn’t shown his face in a very long time, and never in an AOWF ring. He looks to be about 6’10 and pretty handsome for an older gentleman.

Larry Gordon: Is that…?

Linzi Martin: Danny Daemon! Father of Johnny Maverick! I’m… pretty sure he’s REALLY retired.

Danny approaches Bobby calmly, we can’t make out what he’s saying but we can tell he is trying to calm Bobby down. As Bobby finally calms down, Danny is able to reach out and yank the chair out of Bobbys hands. Bobby screams something about Martians and smacks Dannhy in the face and Danny just stands there for a moment, his eyes closed. Bobby rears back to do it again but Danny catches his arm and uses the momentum to pick Bobby up on his shoulders in a firemans carry before slamming him down on his knee with a gutbuster.

Linzi Martin: The Ritual Disembowelment! Danny hasn’t lost a step.

Larry Gordon: Like you’ve ever seen a Danny Daemon match.

Bobby stands up and another of Dannys signatures returns as he spits a mist of blood in Bobbys eyes. Bobby begins to writhe on the ground.

Danny straightens his tie, He’d look downright dapper if not for the blood dripping from his mouth. He motions for a member of the ring crew to hand him a microphone. The terrified individual, well aware of the veterans reputation, obliges swiftly.

Danny Daemon: “I have a message for the REBEL Pro roster.”

Danny takes a moment to casually wipe his face.

Danny: “Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up. If you are not familiar with who I am, then I will introduce myself. My name is Danny Daemon and I am a retired professional wrestler as well as the CEO of Crimson Incorporated. However, there are only THREE things I will answer to from a member of the REBEL Pro roster: Mr. Daemon, Sir, or Commissioner Daemon.”

The older wrestling fans cheer at this. The rest probably should have been carded before coming to a REBEL show.

Danny: “I am here to bring… something resembling civility to REBEL Pro. If you get out of line, I will be there to talk some sense into you. If you are past the point of reasoning? Things could become physical, and you will not like it. I dont care who your friends are…. or who your FATHER is.[/color]

The fans kind of ‘Oooh’ at this.

Danny: “Someone in a position of power made a deal with the devil. So if you step out of line? I will see to it you find your way to the back of it.”

Bobby Lee blindly begins to grab at Dannys slacks. Danny grabs him, lifts him up for a suplex, but twists him as he picks him up, clutches around his waist, and quickly plants his head into the protective mats (Oh who are we kidding) with a tombstone piledriver.

Linzi Martin: TWIST OF CAIN!

The audience loses it a bit, as Danny stands, no emotion on his face as he once again adjusts his tie over the limp frame of Bobby Lee. He picks up Lee like he’s a bag of trash.

‘Number Of The Beast’ By Iron Maiden plays as Danny walks to the back, he takes a moment to look out at the audience and we catch the slightest hint of a smirk before he leaves.

Chamber versus Kvlt Drachen

Maya: The next match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, Kvlt Drachen!

“Dreams of Blood and Iron” by Marduk hits the PA, with a chorus of disapproval from the fans. However, as the suspenseful moments begin to pass, Drachen does not appear. The music cuts.

Abbey Graves: Um, once more.. Please welcome, Kvlt Drachen!!

“Dreams of Blood and Iron” hit the PA once again, but still no Drachen appears. Shortly after, though, a presence does appear and begin to make his way up the rafters. It is the tall, slender frame of Drachen’s opponent.

Linzi Martin: That doesn’t look like Drachen! What’s going on?

Abbey Graves: Or.. Not! Ladies and gentlemen.. Instead, please welcome, the man known as “Chamber”!

Chamber reaches ringside, a polite smile on his face. He pulls himself up and slides between the ropes, then tips his head in a gentlemenly bow towards Ms. Graves. She smiles with a hint of a blush and then exits the ring.

Linzi Martin: Chamber helped to take out one Master of Armageddon last week. Could he have done it again here tonight?

Larry Gordon: Doubtful, he’s all by himself and you know know the MoA operates by now.

He takes a moment to pace and survey the crowd, while his booked opponent’s music continues to play in the background. Eventually his motions for a microphone. With a serene smile ever-present, he waits for the music to subside before he begins to speak his peace.

Chamber: Greetings, great fans of Rebel Pro! How I wish I could stand here before you on this evening and say you are about to witness a contest of two great athletes who fully intend to brutally maim and attack one another for your viewing pleasure! Sadly, I regret to say that is not the case.

The fans – at least, the ones who caught what he was saying – voice their disapproval of the match’s apparent cancellation.

Chamber: As I understand it, the good Mr. Drachen has been otherwise detained and is no longer available to make an appearance tonight. As such, I thought I would take the opportunity to introduce myself, and perhaps make light of certain subjects which may currently be casting a dark shadow.

Linzi Martin: That would be helpful!

Chamber: For instance, perhaps you would be curious to know why I appeared in league with Sir Adrian Kalis at Barbed Wire Massacre just last week before leaving abruptly?

The fans pop with some applause and such.

Chamber: Unfortunately… I cannot answer that at this time.

Immediately the reaction turns to boo’s.

Chamber: Or, maybe you would like to know why I participated in the attack incapacitating the MoA’s de facto leader, the man known as Fley but refused to finish the job?

Again some applause and bewildered cheering.

Chamber: Unfortunately… I cannot answer that right now, either.

The annoyance of the crowd is apparent with a much louder chorus of jeers.

Chamber: I would love nothing more than to divulge the true benefactor behind my arrival and satisfy your curiosities with the revelation of my ultimate purpose.

He pauses.

Chamber: Unfortunately… That is not going to happen tonight.

The boo’s reach an even louder decibel, forcing him to pause for several moments before they subside.

Through it all his peaceful smile never fades, and he shrugs a bit in response.

Chamber: What I CAN tell you is this: while your voracious appetites for destruction could be satiated by my hand this evening, I will do everything in my power to heap a gluttonous feast on the table at my next possible opportunity. Moreover, I give you all nothing but my solemn promise that the mundane, trivial “order” you are so helplessly subjected to will soon turn to a much more palatable level of chaos.

Another pause, his smile widens a bit as he amuses himself.

Chamber: That is to say: I intend to fuck some people up for your entertainment.
His smile grows even wider as the crowd’s apparent dissatisfaction is instantly turned as they voice their approval with rauccous cheering.

Chamber: Enjoy the rest of your evening, and until next time…

He drops the mic as Drachen’s music hits the PA once again – apparently having been appropriated for his own use. He rolls out of the ring and as he makes his way backstage, notices a fan wearing an Anna Mathews t-shirt. He smiles as the fan and with a wink, he makes a gun out of his right hand and gestures a “shot” right at them – then continues to departure.

Linzi Martin: Well that was cryptic.

Larry Gordon: Cryptic and pointless.

Linzi Martin: Well the fans got robbed of this one, but the main event is yet to come!

REBEL Pro Aggression Championship Match

Jamie Shields versus Anna Mathews©

Linzi Martin: Anna is such a fighting champion. That’s an admirable quality. I don’t know how she’s here tonight with us after that grueling barbwire brawl with Bubba J,

Jake Norton: It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside. I’m not one of those who can easily hide. I don’t have much money, but boy if I did: I’d buy a house where we both could live.

Linzi Martin: And Jamie Shields got serious opportunity here to redeem himself against the double champion.

Jake Norton: If I was a sculptor, but then again, no. Or a man who makes potions in the travelling show, oh I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do! My gift is my song and this one’s for you.

Linzi Martin: Are you singing to me?

Jake Norton: You can tell everybody this is Anna’s song. It may be quite simple but now that it’s done: I hope you don’t mind that I put down into words how wonderful life is with Anna in the world.

Wonderful Anna comes to the ring where she proceeds to outwrestle Shields wonderfully for the opening minutes of this main event bout. Considering both been through hell recently, and both sport the looks to confirm it, for the match to be running at this pace, it’s a decent main event. Though sloppiness by each competitor indicates either could be shelved if dropped wrongly. Never mind end up dead.

Still, Anna being the adorably thoughtful gal she is takes flight for the crowd’s pleasure and Shields’ disdain. Her twists, twirls, flips, dives, splashes and all the other crazy things aerialists do to satisfy happen. When Shields got sensible enough to put his hard-hitting hands to good use, he superman punched Anna in mid-air as she tried to do that flipping seated senton she’s known for. Soon after, he’s clobbering our Heavyweight and Aggression champion into (still lovable) bits.

Clocking out around the thirteen minute mark, (hey! They’re exhausted!) Jamie goes to the corner waiting for Anna to rise and eat his Annihilation. When she does rise, Jamie naturally charges without hesitation, but if he did, perhaps he would have missed Anna’s dramatic superkick to the skull! Down goes Shields and into the cover goes Anna. Two slaps to the mat by the referee gets the crowd buzzing for the third, but Shields somehow gets his shoulder up. Matches that end via surprise super kicks suck anyhow.. ;^D

So, here we are. The match marches on another five minutes. Anna does her loony tunes offense (which isn’t an insult but a compliment to her fantastic high flying! Tweety bird style) and Shields is Sylvester the Cat in defense(that means he’s getting his booty rocked). Up until a Double A Spinebuster level of power grounds a springboarding Anna harshly for a two count. Lying on the mat for a bit, it’s now about who makes it to their feet first. Usually the last person to execute a move stands before the victim but Anna is less hurt now than Shields, who’s got a nosebleed.

When Shields gathers himself, the last remaining energy he had is ripped out of his chest thanks to a Boomerfly Kick. This is how the match ends. Anna Mathews wins!

It Isn’t Over

Jaice Wilds sits alone in his locker room recovering from his match earlier in the night. But his solitude is short lived upon the appearance of a figure in a black hoodie. The figure is quick to heave Wilds out of his chair and slam him into the row of lockers behind him. Wilds goes to fight back but meets a boot to the chest, sending him into the lockers once more. Picking up the chair and folding it back up the hooded figure swings, sandwiching Wild’s head between locker and chair. Wilds crumples in a heap as the figure departs a piece of paper falling behind him.

It read “It doesn’t end with Fley.”

Fade to black.

QUICK RESULTS

The Harlequin defeats Electra
Umbra defeats Abbey Graves
Chad Kurtis defeats Jason Arkertome
Virgil Keenan defeats Jacob Figgins
Reece Paxton defeats Jaice Wilds
Chamber vs Kvlt never happens but we get fun words with Chamber yeah!
Anna Mathews defeats Jamie Shields, and maintains a grip on all the shinys in REBEL Pro. For now?!