Aggression 3-19-2012

The Enemy is in The House

A grainy film shot fills the television screen, not the Rebeltron, but this is for the television viewers at home only. A gruff voice comes through the speakers, distorted by a less than expensive microphone.

“You sir, are welcome anytime.”

A slight pause.

“I really do not give a damn.”

Another slight pause, its obvious a conversation is taking place here, but only one side of the conversation is heard.

“You’ve got your way in, its up to you whether you take it or not.”

“Good day to you sir, my job here is done.”

Fley Can Suck My DI-

Kalis taps his index finger on his desk, smirking. Jeremy Gold sits across from him, adjusting his tie nervously. Simon adjusts the eye patch over his left eye and nods, and we see a burly man in full riot gear behind Jeremy Gold.

Simon Kalis: Send out the word. The Masters are to be attacked on sight unless they have a match. Any Masters in a group of more than one person is to be attacked, immediately. Feel free to use the tasers. Feel free to use your batons. They will find REBEL Pro is no place for a Master of Armageddon while I run the show.

Jeremy Gold: YES! Fley can suck my DI-

Simon Kalis: Nuh uh. Not so fast, there Jer.

Kalis looks at the security officer.

Simon Kalis: Are we understood?

Head of Security: SIR!

He salutes Simon, Order of Chaos style and leaves, grabbing his radio to disseminate the killing orders.

Jeremy Gold: What?

Kalis throws a dossier down onto his desk from a drawer and taps it. The name clearly reads Duncan Aries.

Jeremy Gold: What about him? He got fired by Larry Gordon.

Simon Kalis: And I’ve just completed the paper work. I’ve resigned him.

Gold’s jaw drops.

Jeremy Gold: Whoa! Dude! He’s a frickin’ Master of Armageddon!

Kalis nods.

Jeremy Gold: Yeah! Uhhhh… What? This doesn’t make sense. He’s an enemy, right!?

Kalis nods.

Simon Kalis: You know what they say. Keep your friends close.

Simon sparks a cigarette and smiles.

Simon Kalis: But your enemies closer. You face him next week. With another dude, Jack The Mackhammer. I’m sure you’ll love their company. Besides, I’m hedging my bets that either you or Jack wins. Cause then Duncan Aries gets to suffer that loss at Birthday Bash.

Gold falls out of his chair, and after a few moments gets to his feet.

Jeremy Gold: I have to be bait again?!

Kalis scratches his chin.

Simon Kalis: That’s up to Mas and the rest. Remember I’ve got nothing to do, officially, with The Order. I’m just a good old suit now. Which is why I’m also placing Violet Harper in a special match next week. If she wins? She get’s a shot at Anna Mathews at Birthday Bash and we get to see the new Captain of the Charms whip her ass. If she loses? Well. Let’s just Birthday Bash is going to be hell on earth for the Masters of Armageddon.

Gold’s nose twitches, and he stares at the cigarette.

Jeremy Gold: That isn’t tobacco… Is it?

Kalis smirks and spins the chair around in a few circles, bobbing his head to some imaginary gangster rap music in his head.

Jeremy Gold: Oh my God no.

Gold faints again and we fade to ringside.

The Space Age versus Hardcore Snowfall

The match begins with Scottie Snow facing off against Lyza Reyes. Lyza gets the early advantage, grounding Scottie and keeping him down with a head lock. Scottie tries to fight back to his feet, but he’s quickly dropped to his back with a hard suplex. Scottie is then stretched with a leg lock, refusing to give in though he makes it to the ropes. As he is getting up, Lyza kicks him in the back of the head, and then drops him backwards with a German suplex. Scottie kicks out at 2. Lyza makes the tag to Kipper who gets in the ring and stops the Snow tag, kicking him in the ribs. Reyes cheers on Haven as he picks up Scottie and drives him into the mat with a side suplex.

Kipper goes to pick up Scottie, but Snow rakes his eyes and dives over, tagging in Mr. Hardcore. Kipper recovers but is quickly knocked down by a clothesline by Mr. Hardcore. Hardcore hits the ropes and jumps up, landing across the stomach of Kipper and gets a two count for his trouble. Haven gets up and pouched Hardcore in the jaw, rocking him while Haven hits the ropes, only to be hit with a hard scoop slam on the rebound. Scottie calls for the tag and Hardcore tags him back in. Scottie goes to the top rope, looking out at the crowd as they cheer, waiting for Kipper to get back to his feet. As haven turns around, Scottie leaps off the top rope for a missile dropkick, but he’s caught with a power bomb!

Rather than go for a cover, Kipper grabs Scottie’s leg and turns him over looking to lock in his End Game, synching in. the crab. Scottie cried out, but fortunately his partner was within reach and Scottie crawled slightly towards Hardcore and made the tag. Kipper pulled Scottie back towards the center, unaware of the tag until he was tagged in the back of the head with a boot from Hardcore. Kipper slumped over and Hardcore ran over, hitting Lyza off the apron before turning back and lifting up Kipper, dropping him down to the mat with the Hardcore Beat down! Scottie crawls out of the ring, holding his back in pain as Mr. hardcore goes for the cover on Kipper. One, two, three!

Winners: Hardcore Snowfall

Huntin’ For The World Part 1

A gruff voice comes over the speakers as the shot of a downtown type of area is in focus. The voice isn’t all mysterious, its the new Rebel Pro World Champion, Bubba J.

“Even though I may be the new Rebel Pro World Champion, that is my third title reign for those of ya’ll who don’t know, I know that Rebel Pro is still on the verge of collapse.”

A deep sigh.

“I hate to admit that, but even with my awesome brawling skills, Emily’s eating skills, and… and…”

He yells.

“Fuck! That’s all we got? A bad ass sombitch and a fat bitch who can’t stop eating?”

He seems a bit harried now.

“Cause Vincent decides to take a sabatical or something, and I’m left with a fat bitch that not even Lisa Seldon can carry to a long Tag Team Title reign.”

He lights up a cigarette, the evidence is that of smoke wafting in front of the camera.

“I guess I need to hurry up and find this fucking asshole before it is way too late then.”

He exhales.

“I’m on a look out for a tried and true person to help out with Rebel Pro. I’m looking for this person who has bled red for this federation. I’m looking for this cat who has lost flesh for this company.”

He exhales again.

“And much as I hate to admit it, I don’t like this motherfucker, but I know that he’ll fight for Rebel Pro until his heart just finally stops.”

We fade back to ringside as…

Supreme No More?

The hiss-pop sound of electronic noise erupts across the arena as the REBELtron, suspended above the entrance way, begins to broadcast static.

Larry Gordon: What the hell?

Linzi Martin: Technical difficulties?

Larry Gordon: I don’t think so.

Slowly the static on the screen starts to resolve itself into a shadow and then a shape and finally…

Larry Gordon: Fley! Kalis banned them from Rebel!

Linzi Martin: I think, technically, he’s not in the arena Larr.

Larry Gordon: Humph.

The blue eyed young man on the screen looks none too pleased. In fact he looks hatefully back into the arena.

Fley: Bravo, Simon.

Fley starts to clap slowly. A burst of static cuts through the feed before finally settling again.

Fley: You hand over leadership to your kid and what’s the first thing he does? I knew your boy would come running to you for help eventually. I just didn’t think that it would be this soon. I thought perhaps he’d have more of a backbone. That he’d want to show his old man that he could handle the family business on his own.

Fley smiles, shaking his head. Again the feed skips before correcting itself.

Fley: Instead, he lets his old man handle the monsters beneath his bed. So kudos to you Simon, for being the leader that your boy doesn’t know how to be. This really was a brilliant move. Locking us out, putting my people out there one at a time… like sheep to the slaughter. It’s exactly what I would have done in your position.

The smile fades from his face and again that hateful expression returns that looks so wrong on his face.

Fley: Remember Simon… what happens to you next, to your family and your little group there? You are the cause of what comes next. There are still plenty of places where you’re not safe and we’ll fine you there.

Harper, Aries and Wilds… good luck.

M.o.A Supreme.

The scene holds on him for a heartbeat more and then breaks into static. A moment later the RPW logo pops back up on the screen.

Might & Magic versus Delicious Luxury Cakes versus Hardcore Entertainment

All the teams are already in the ring. ALL of them. Might & Might, and Hardcore Entertianment, can’t help but feel like someone is fucking with them as Gabby the Fashion Desiging Cupcake and Brandyn The Liberal Fruitcake stand… Or, er, sit? In the ring. Seeing as how they are literal god damn baked goods. The bell rings and Moke and Black go at each other, the two big men of the match. Bubba J clotheslines Dragon and yells something about that gay fucking mask he wears and how his name combination with it makes him sound like a gay luchadore porn star. Moke and Black slug it out, heavy fists being traded between them.

Gabby and Brandyn watch on. Never blinking. Ever. EVER.

Dragon bounces off the ropes and then catches Bubba J, laying him out nicely with a brain buster. Like Bubba’s brain needs anymore busting, AMIRITE? Black choke slams Moke and covers quickly, but he only gets a 2 count as Dragon hit’s a leg drop on Vinny breaking up the count. Bubba, drunk as hell basically says fuck this and grabs a steel chair from ringside because god bless REBEL Pro’s rules. (Or lack thereof) As Dragon and Moke lift Black up, they double DDT him so hard the ring shakes and sends Gabby rolling around the ring. Brandyn, being of a more flat variety of baked good, firmly stands his ground but we can’t help but fathom the terror he must be feeling for Gabby as she rolls out of the ring.

Bubba J comes up behind Moke and cracks the chair over the back of his head. Moke calmly turns around, unimpressed. Bubba cusses him out and then swings the chair like a bat at Moke. Moke only slightly stumbles back, nearly crushing poor old Brandyn The Liberal Fruitcake in the process. Vincent Black spine busters Dragon and covers! 1! 2! KICK OUT! Bubba J with another swing of the chair, and another, and another, until Moke finally falls to one knee. Bubba J cracks the chair over his face again and it finally wraps itself around Moke’s head. Dragon is however having a better time with Vincent Black, whom he clotheslines to the outside of the ring. Bubba J picks up Brandyn The Liberal Fruitcake and smashes him over Dragon’s face. Dragon hit’s the canvas, Moke is up! Moke takes the chair from his head. The referee goes for the count.

1!

2!!

Dragon rolls over, realizing the referee was counting the pinfall by the damn cake for being on top of him. Dragon however, rolls all the way over, crushing Brandyn The Liberal Fruitcake beneath him. The referee drops for the count!

1!

Bubba moves to stop it.

2!!

Moke swings the chair, bashing Bubba so hard he spills over the top rope and onto Vincent Black as Black gets up.

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: The winners of this match, uhm… Yeah. By pinfall! Moke Doshky and The Dragon… MIGHT & MAGIC!

Bubba and Black CANNOT believe it. They argue with the referee who simply tells them the Delicious Luxury Cakes were a valid team. Dragon gets up and wipes the smear of the now dead Brandyn The Liberal Fruitcake off his chest. Moke grabs a piece of Brandyn, and eats him. Gabby The Cupcake is still all smiles and wink on the outside, possibly because she did not yet witness the horrific truth of how this match ended.

Or just because she’s a fucking cupcake.

Winners: Might & Magic

Huntin’ For The World Part 2 of 6

The scene dissolves in to another downtown type of area, but this one is a bit different; its not Kansas anymore Toto.

“I’m here at a favorite hangout… at least I think its a favorite hangout of his…”

He tilts the camera up to the sign above the door, “Brothers’ Pizza”

“Honestly, I can’t remember if he likes this, Domino’s, Little Ceasers, Cici’s, or if he even likes pizza.”

He pushes through the door, carrying a lit cigarette with him. A waiter comes up to him, looking frustrated as he points to the cigarette.

Waiter: “Sir, you can’t smoke in here!”

Bubba J obviously drags on the cigarette.

“Looks like I just did asshole and…”

He moves the camera up and down the waiter’s body.

“Don’t look man enough to even begin to stop me.”

He blows smoke in the guy’s face

“I’m looking for someone that I think used to frequent this establishment…”

He turns the camera around to catch the restaurant.

“Don’t really know why, but I think he did.”

Another exhale.

“Have you seen him asshole?”

Waiter: “Who sir, are you exactly looking for?”

Bubba J laughs.

“I’m looking for…”

The camera fades in to static, then back to ringside.

Tru ReVolution versus Teresa Quaranta & Masakazu

Jenny Jersey stands center stage inside the REBEL PRO ring.

Linzi Martin: Welcome back folks, up next we have a tag team battle as the winning team will move on in the tournament.

Larry Gordon: This match should be good. I saw both teams backstage and they are really ready to go. If you didn’t know, this isn’t the first time Teresa and Masakazu have teamed up. They are 1 and 0 in Victory!

Linzi Martin: No shit?

Larry Gordon: None!

Linzi Martin: Well lets go inside the ring, for the introduction of both tag teams.

The lights in the arena fade to a dark green hue as “Hate Me Now” by Nas feat. P. Diddy begins playing over the sound system.

Jenny Jersey: The next match is set for one fall. This is a tag team tournament match. Making his way to the ring at this time, hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Now living in Blazenwing, Wisconsin. Standing six foot four inches and weighting in at a 245 pounds…….D.L. SLAYTON!!!

Appearing with a Shaved head, tanned and with a general air of smugness, the fans begin to boo as D.L. Slayton walks out onto the stage, the lovely Valerie St. Clair on his arm. He looks to the left, then the right, smirking cockily before making his way down the ramp. As he reaches ringside, Slayton tells off a fan in the front row while Valerie climbs onto the ring apron. Slayton makes his way up the steps, and then waits for Valerie to hold the ropes open for him before entering the ring. As the fans continue booing, Valerie takes her spot at ringside, leaving D.L. Slayton alone in the center of the ring to take in the “adulation” of the masses. He moves to the nearest corner as the music fades and sits down, resting his head against the second turnbuckle while holding onto the ropes.

The lights slowly dim down until it’s pitch black and the low guitar strumming of “In Fate’s Hands” by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus rolls throughout the arena. Three spotlights shine and revolve around as if searching for someone, and the fans are on their feet, cheering in anticipation for the hero they know is coming…..

Jenny Jersey: And his tag team partner, hailing from Columbus, Ohio. Now living in San Diego, California. Making his way to the ring standing at six foot four inches and 240 pounds…….GABE SELLEY!!!

At the ten mark when the song rocks into life, red, white and blue pyros shoot outward with controlled chaos from the entrance stage for seven straight seconds. By the end of it, the three spotlights have aimed at the stage and await the arrival of a great fan favorite.

At last the marVel Gabe Shelley comes out from behind the curtain, the fans’ boos only growing louder, and he steps up to the spotlight. He dons his hooded vest and points out to the fans. He lifts his hood up slightly to get a view of the fans, his face peaking out. In this hype, he plays to the fans with a smile and they highly respond to him. Booing loudly.

The fans are negatively crazy about Gabe. He makes his way down the ramp, trying to tag several hands along the way and climbs up the ring steps. He looks around one more time from his hood as he jumps up and over the ropes and spins around. Gabe picks a corner and easily jumps to the second ropes and bows down. He throws his hood back and his arms out with a smile on his face. He points outwards to the crowd as he jumps backwards, spinning and landing on his feet. He draws to the center of the ring and throws his hands out; the crowd’s roar of boos only grow louder and flashes from cameras capture photos of the marVel in all his glory.

Gabe takes his vest off before bending and stretching his back over the top ropes. After a brief warm up, he’s ready to go. As the music dies, he and the fans are ready!

For a moment, darkness and silence engulfs the entire arena and viewers on television see a blank feed. Then, a single light winks in and out of existence on the ramp, and is followed by another one, and a third as the epic opening to “Rising Mercury” by Nick Ingman comes to life over the PA. Just barely visible, a heavy fog begins to settle in on the ramp and migrate down to the fans below as a row of 12 women in skimpy white togas and angels wings made of the finest goose down make their way to the ramp.

Two women stand in front, burning torches scented with purest sandalwood as the fumes waft into the crowd. Still others throw rose petals, staring into the crowd and the camera with looks of focus and intense happiness. Finally, six of the women stand in the center of the formation, holding up a litter on their backs, and as this company of angels make their way down the ramp and a majestic, heavenly light spreads through the arena, we see Teresa Quaranta in the litter, surveying the entire arena with a grin and eating a bunch of grapes. She soaks in the cheers while wearing an olive wreath and an elaborate white toga with gold trim. The caravan comes to a stop outside of the ring, and two angels on each side carefully escort her down from it, lovingly removing all of the extraneous gear. A couple of other girls escort her to the ring and a very soft mist descends from the rafters as the music begins to peak. Naturally, a spotlight falls on her as she raises her arms and soaks in the cheers of the crowd.

Jenny Jersey: Ladies and Gentlemen, hailing from Toronto, Ontario. Standing at a statuesque 6’3?, she loves children, small animals, and YOUR favorite local sports team… this is Teresa Quaranta!

She makes her way to the ring and slides under the ropes, waiting in her corner for her tag partner to arrive!

“I Can’t Stop” by Flux Pavillion hits up

Jenny Jersey: Making his way to the ring at this time, he is the young amazing off spring of Simon Kalis! He is the chosen one from the Order of Chaos! A legend in the making, standing six foot even and weighting 210 pounds. From the land of the rising sun………MASAKAZU!!!!!

Out steps Masakazu to a huge pop from the sold out crowd. They love this guy!

Linzi Martin: This man does not need any introduction. He does not need any pyro. He comes to the ring with no theme, just a stone cold martial artist!

Larry Gordon: This man is one of the best superstars in REBEL PRO today. Just wait until you see this man in action. You will be amazed!

Finally, with all four competitors in the ring, referee Allan Stone gives final instructions to both teams.

D.L. Slayton and Teresa Quaranta will start the match.

Random hardcore weapons are laying about the outside of the ring as the middle rope to the squared circle is pure barbed wire!

The ref calls for the bell

ding ding!!

Quaranta and Slayton meet center stage inside the ring and lock up into a grapple. Quaranta gets Slayton into the ropes and comes off with an Irish whip. He comes back and Teresa levels him with a flying forearm to the head. She picks him up and proceeds with a shoulder breaker as DL falls in pain. She follows up with an anaconda vice, ripping on the arm as DL lays in pain. After a moment she picks DL up and proceeds into a body slam but Slayton escapes the move by landing a stiff albow to the side of her head. He follows that up with a release belly to belly suplex! Each opponents trys to make it their feet.

Linzi Martin: Both opponents trying to get the upper hand in the early going, Larry.

Larry Gordon: Well, it looks like Teresa is about do some damage!

Quaranta flys off the ropes and lands a spinning heel kick to DL Slayton. After which she tags in superstar Masakazu! They proceed with a spike piledriver as Masakazu flys off the top ropes! Slayton is in it bad! Masakazu proceeds to take over with a springboard moonsalt! He picks Slayton up and lands a reverse DDT! He could go for the pin now, but he chooses to punish his opponent. Even slapping DL’s face to show him up. Mas proceeds to add salt to the wound as gives blow after blow of stiff elbows the head of DL. After landing kick after kick to the outter legs of his opponent. DL Slayton can no longer walk as Masakazu flips DL into his own corner and Gabe Shelley tags into the match. Game on!

Linzi Martin: This is the match up we all wanted to see!

Larry Gordon: Gabe Shelley looks oddly tired for such a match up.

Masakazu doesnt need any weapons as runs Gabe over with a flying clothesline to the throat! With some nice stiff kicks coming from every angle Masakazu has Gabe right where he wants him. proceeding with a luxurious round house kick to Gabe Shelley so hard in the face Gabe’s nose starts to bleed! Meanwhile Teresa Quaranta comes up behind the defeated DL Slayton and grabs his legs from off the apron as smashes his face on the ring stairs while DL and Teresa begin to go hardcore outside the ring!

Linzi Martin: Now this is becoming a typical REBEL PRO match!

Larry Gordon: But it seems that Masakazu wants nothing to do with anything hardcore. This man wants to prove a point. He definitely has something to prove in this match!

As Quaranta and Slayton duke it out with hardcore lust, its the legal men in the ring that take over. Suddenly Gabe comes to life! He lands a huge exploder suplex that shakes Masakazu to his core! Then he takes Mas up on the ropes and trys to land a bulldog from the top rope! But instead Mas holds onto the top rope and Gabe Shelley falls hard to the mat. Masakazu then flys off the top rope with a massive Senton Bomb! Mas picks Shelley up but suddenly DL comes into the ring trying his damnest to help his tag partner, but then Masakazu hits “The Order Never Dies!” on Slayton, which is a Spinning Kamikaze face buster!!

Larry Gordon: What a move!

Linzi Martin: Slayton is out cold!

Suddenly Teresa and Gabe Shelley begin ripping each other apart in the ring! Whats this?

Linzi Martin: Masakazu has pulled out a cigarette and is heading over to the corner of the ring. Alone.

Larry Gordon: What a time for a smoke break, Linzi. Thats too funny.

As Teresa and Gabe fight it out and Slayton is still out cold, the ref begins to have no control and leans up against the ropes very cocky and arrogant. If thats not enough, he steps outside the ring and even begins signing autographs?!

Linzi Martin: Ok I have offically seen everything there is to see in a REBEL PRO match.

Larry Gordon: Now I can die in peace. I have seen Masakazu having a smoke break during a tag team tournament match!

When Mas looks back into the ring he sees Gabe Shelley giving the licks to Teresa as Masakazu goes to help Quaranta. With Masakazu and Gabe Shelley the legal men, Quaranta rolls out of the ring and keeps a close eye on DL Slayton. Slayton and Quaranta seem to be having a discussion, when Quaranta simply backs off and waves her hands to the ring.

Larry Gordon: Is she screwing over Masakazu!?

Thats when Masakazu takes Gabe Shelley outside the ring and proceeds with a T bone suplex on the floor outside the ring. Thats when Gabe Shelley trys to manage an attack but Masakazu will have nothing of it. But DL Slayton comes up near both of them and says something our cameras don’t pick up. Masakazu’s eyes widen as he steps back. Gabe’s head snaps as he goes to face Slayton, but it’s too late! SLAYTON HIT’S THE BLOW OFF ON GABE SHELLEY! The crowd CANNOT believe it! Slayton nods in Masakazu and Teresa’s direction as he begins walking up the ramp.

Linzi Martin: Nope. Apparently Gabe Shelley got fucked in the face by Slaytonwing.

Masakazu shrugs and picks Gabe up and simply proceeds to hit the MasaDriver(vertaebreaker) on Gabe Shelley through a table! He calmly takes rolls Gabe back into the center of the ring. Masakazu drops to his knees, and covers.

1

2

3!!!

“I Can’t Stop” by Flux Pavillion plays as the ref raises Masakazu’s arm in victory!

Jenny Jersey: Here are your winners, and moving on in the REBEL PRO Tag Team Tournament………TERESA QUARANTA AND MASAKAAAAZZZUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

Larry Gordon: What a match! Masakazu really proved himself tonight! I think he’s learning a thing or two from hanging with Teresa Quaranta.

Linzi Martin: The better team won the match, Larry. Thats all that you can ask for. I mean so long as you forget the fact Slayton face fucked Shelley.

Masakazu points to Teresa, laughing all “Hey! You!” while Teresa points back and reciprocates the sweet Canadian love.

Straight Up Ballin!!!

After the match, Slayton is handed a mic as the music dies down.

D.L. Slayton: Normally, this is where I would explain why I just turned on my best friend and cost us a chance to become REBEL Pro Tag Team Champions. Luckily for me, I’m sure the majority of you already know the situation, but for the few of you who don’t follow the dirt sheets, I’ll keep this real simple: I’m sick and tired of carrying Gabe Shelley and I’m shedding myself of the ‘Mad Dogg’ effective immediately. What you have just witnessed is the final time D.L. Slayton and Gabe Shelley will EVER team together.

The crowd cheers, of course they love a rebel! Teresa and Mas watch on, and Mas looks down at Gabe Shelley with indifference.

D.L. Slayton: Before I leave, two things. One, Teresa? You can keep your AoWF World Title, I don’t want it. What I want is the Victory Wrestling World Title and what I want, I get. So do me a favor, dollface, and keep it bright and shiny for me, hmm?

Teresa rolls her eyes, none too concerned.

D.L. Slayton: And two… Adrian. You know that I’ve stood with the Order of Chaos in the past, and despite any issues I’ve had with your father, I want to make it crystal clear that I wish to do so again. The MoA are dangerous and they need to be stopped. Meghan and Bubba J are a good start when it comes to an Order presence in Victory, but they’re not going to be enough. So, I am officially offering the services of the most important professional wrestler of the last fifteen years to you, General, if you’ll have me.

Masakazu looks around at the crowd, then to Teresa. She shrugs, doubtful she cares one way or another. Masakazu turns to Slayton and nods, slapping his chest, stomping his foot and offering Slayton a salute. The crowd cheers, and Slayton salutes him back.

Larry Gordon: The Order of Chaos’ ranks swell some more to meet the challenge of the Masters.

Linzi Martin: And The Charms?

Larry Gordon: I would think both groups have an identical goal, the eradication of the Masters.

YOU FUCKING BITCH!

“Badass” by Saliva hits up in the arena speakers and the crowd goes ape shit! Bubba J walks from the back, holding his newly won Rebel Pro World Title high up in the air and chugging down a beer from a bottle. Bubba J slaps the hands of the fans along the way down to the ramp, before calmly putting the empty bottle in a woman’s purse… it’ll be on Ebay before the promo is over. Bubba J walks around the ring slapping hands of fans before kissing Jenny Jersey on the cheek and grabbing her microphone.

Larry Gordon: Bubba J out here to celebrate with the fans after his epic win over Lisa Seldon.

Linzi Martin: She was barely alive.

Larry Gordon: But she did go through with the match, she didn’t have to.

Bubba J’s got the mic up to his lips.

“What in the hell is going on….?!”

He glowers at the backstage curtain.

“Violet “Fucking” Harper?!”

He stares at the curtain.

“You all thought I was coming out here to get a cheap cheer from you all here…”

He paces around the ring.

“Thought that I was coming out here to brag on my winning the Rebel Pro World Title…”

He continues pacing.

“Thought I was going to say Emily Corlen was a fat cow…”

He continues pacing.

“Thought I would continue calling Emily Corlen more of a man than the rest of the Rebel Pro roster?!”

More pacing.

“Thought I’d say that Dallas Hoover is less of a man than Emily Corlen?”

He stops in the center of the ring, staring at the backstage curtain.

“But you’d be wrong…”

He starts pacing again, he’s agitated about something.

“I’m here to call out that Herpes carrying bitch… and I’m not talking about Marina Blue or Phoenix’s wife… I’m talking about that one bitch… Violet “Fucking” Harper…”

He is pissed now and is showing it, and finally we know why.

“I’m out here to say… hun…(sweet voice)… you want to attack me?”

He laughs.

“Well… that’s fucking fine with me.”

A shrug.

“I expect that, we are in a war after all and there must be battles…”

Crowd: “Rebel!”

“There must be strategy.”

Crowd: “Rebel!”

“There must be losses.”

Crowd: “Rebel!”

“There must be wins.”

Crowd: “Rebel!”

“There must be scurmishes.”

Crowd: “Rebel!”

Bubba J’s voice lowers greatly, until it is like a growling whisper.

“But you fucked up Violet. You fucked up by turning your back on Rebel Pro. You fucked up by aligning yourself with the MOA. But more importantly, you fucked up by attacking me.”

He chuckles, but its more of a revengeful laugh.

“Your boys won’t always be around Violet. Your back won’t always be protected Violet.”

More revengeful laughter.

“I may not be Freddy Krueger… but I will be in your nightmares Violet. I will be in your waking moments Violet. I’ll be around every corner. I’ll be the darkness of the shadows Violet. I’ll be the things that go bump in the night that makes you piss the bed because you’ll be thinking that its me coming to send you face first through the fucking window!”

His voice has lifted tremendously until he’s shouting.

“Violet… I want to let this little song play through your dreams, nightmares, and your every waking moment… When the Masters are taking their turns ramming you out in the nearest Motel 6…”

He lowers his voice to that growl again.

“One… Two… Bubba J’s coming for you. Three… Four… you’re a fucking whore. Five… Six… Bubba J’s gonna make you his bitch.”

He tosses down the mic as “Badass” hits back up in the speakers and we get set for our main event!

Queens R Wild versus Kvlt Drachen & Hunter Sullivan versus Cowgirls From Hell

“Animals” by Nickelback hits up in the speakers and to a chorus of boos and laser beam shots(fired by squirrels hooked on crack) comes Jaice Wilds. The friggin squirrels are going friggin crazy as they look for their next fix of crack… and I also must mention that they are freakishly mutated squirrells, but not sure how they are mutated.

“Killing in the Name” by Rage Against The Machine blasts out over the speakers as Gonzo McQueen makes his grand entrance… well not so grand as many of the AOWF roster. He figures that they are redundant things that are repetitive and take up too much tv time as it is and no one pays attention to them. But he has one! Oh, yes he does. You are looking at it now. Somehow he gets all the way from the back to the ring and doesn’t trip even once. There was probably some smoke machine bullshit or strobe lighting. Maybe some sort of interval where he made you sit through the entire song you heard last week and the week before when he did this. Viewers apparently have got nothing better to do than see him mime his own song lyrics. But, we are getting away from the point… Basically, Gonzo is in the ring and he’s looking for a fight. “ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED” – Redundant Entrance.

Jenny Jersey stands center ring, watching around waiting for his signal to start. With thumbs up from a stage hand listening through a headset, Jenny begins his announcement.

“The following matchup is scheduled for one fall, This match has a 60 minute time limit, and will end only with a count out, Disqualification, a three count, or Submission. Entering first from Corner brook Newfoundland Canada, he is the Viper, HUNTERRR SULLIVVAAAAN” (edited dependent upon entrance number and match type)
The lights begin to fade, dimming to a calming light. Green and purple start to glow and flash, the arena looking to the stage as A Perfect Circle starts to play and blare. Sullivan is waiting in the gorilla position for the lyrics to hit before bursting out onto the stage. Fans are already responding in a harsh chorus of Jeers.*

You’re such an inspiration for the ways
That I’ll never ever choose to be
Oh so many ways for me to show you
How the savior has abandoned you

*With the signal of the beginning lyrics Hunter storms out of his position, of course to a series of discriminating chants and boos. Hunter’s artier showed off as he started moving his way across the stage. The green and purple lights reflected and caused glimmer on his body. A cool, calculating smirk seemed steady and planted on his face, an unnerving confidence, a form of malevolence shines through. The ramp was laid out before him, en route to his goal.*

Fuck your God
Your Lord and your Christ
He did this
Took all you had and
Left you this way
Still you pray, you never stray
Never taste of the fruit
You never thought to question why

*Sullivan walked calmly and professionally down the ramp. The steel ramp under Hunter’s feet reacted with a clank, none of which could be heard over the music and jeers in unison. Soon Sullivan found himself on the matting surrounding the ring. He reacted quickly, rolling into the ring and heading towards the turnbuckle that was closest. Soon climbing up it he merely looked around and reacted with a combined smirk-scoff.*

It’s not like you killed someone
It’s not like you drove a hateful spear into his side
Praise the one who left you
Broken down and paralyzed
He did it all for you
He did it all for you

*The music died off and Sullivan dropped back to the mat, looking around the ring, making a few last mental notes. His new music finally cutting off and settling.

Darkness. White and red strobelights flicker around the entrance set as Marduk’s “Dreams of Blood and Iron” cues up. After 20 seconds of ambient and droning guitars, the song’s drums kick in, producing Kvlt Drachen from behind the curtain.

{Announcer}: Introducing next, hailing from Oslo, Norway…

Kvlt slowly stalks down the entrance ramp, his elbows bent and his hands curled like claws at waist-level with his palms facing the floor.

{Announcer}: Weighing in at 280 pounds and standing at 6 feet, 5 inches tall…

Drachen stops at the bottom of the ramp, looking up from beneath the hood of his cloak, and then quickly unbuckles it, letting it slide off and crumple to the floor. With a quick burst of energy, Drachen jumps onto the ring apron, holding the top rope. He steps in and drops to his knees in the center of the ring, clutching at his throat with both hands before spewing a red, blood-like mist up into the air.

{Announcer}: …KVLT DRACHEN!!!

His thumbs cross his throat to up near his ears before he slowly drags them across it, staring into the camera all the while. He finishes, leaping to his feet, and then unbuckles the spiked gauntlets on his forearms as the music dies down and the lights return to normal.

The lights in the arena dim as Cowboys From Hell hits the sound system. At the 17 second mark gold and silver pyros shoot upwards in the air. The arena flashes in blue and silver. ooh, COME ON! The girls ride out on a couple Harley Davidson Sporters, with the cFh logo airbrushed on the tanks. The rev the bikes as the fans head bang to the music. Eric Emerson: Introducing next, hailing from London, Ontario Canada, weighing in at a combined weight of two hundred and sixty five pounds…. The girls start the ride down to the ring. Meghan is on the left so she takes the left and Tamika takes the right. They park in front of the announcers table. Eric Emerson: they are the COWGIRLS FROM HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meghan and Tamika slide under the bottom rope. Meghan takes one corner and Tamika takes the opposite. They raise their fists in the air to the beat of the song, as the fans cheer loudly. They step down, and walk towards eachother placing their foreheads against each other. They yell we are the Cowgirls From Hell, and turn to face the entrance way. Team Music: Ready For Blood by My Ruin

Ding Ding

Gonzo squares off against Tamika in this first round of the RP3T tournament. Tamika locks up with Gonzo, McQueen quickly behind her with a rear waistlock, bumping and grinding slightly. Well that is until Tamika promptly lifts her heel into his groin, causing him to break the hold. Tamika spins around, sending the toe of her boot right in to his jaw. McQueen goes down on one knee, Tamika slams her knee in to his temple, but he is able to partially block the knee, tripping her up and mounting her with lefts and rights. Tamika rolls him over, sending several forearms into his face, but Gonzo rolls her back over, kneeing her in the ribs. KVLT comes in to the ring, punting Gonzo in the skull before lifting Tamika up and dropping her right on her head. Meghan comes flying in from the top rope, sending KVLT down with a missile dropkick. Hunter’s turn to come in to the match as he wraps Meghan from behind, inverted DDT on the canvas. Hunter gets up, eating a face full of a spinning heel kick from Wilds that sends him down to the canvas as well. Jaice is up, being booed heavily, but Tamika is there to get the crowd cheering as she lands on his shoulders, sending him out of the ring with a hurricanrana. Tamika is back up, wiping off her hands when Gonzo rolls her up from behind.

One…

Two…

Meghan is there to break up the pin quickly, but KVLT is there as well and him and Meghan begin brawling with fists; KVLT quickly getting the brutal exchange’s advantage.

Larry Gordon: What action so far in this round 1 match.

Linzi Martin: Yeah, my girls are gonna walk out winners though.

KVLT slowly backs Meghan up near the corner, when his momentum and adrenaline get the best of him and she sends him over the top as he charges at her with a clothesline. Meghan quickly up top and diving off with a plancha landing on both KVLT and Jaice Wilds to take out both men.

“Rebel Pro! Rebel Pro! Rebel Pro! Rebel Pro!”

The crowd continues to cheer as Hunter pulls himself up, locking up with Gonzo McQueen. Gonzo with a wristlock, but Hunter quickly reverses it into a hammerlock; but Gonzo reverses it again, tripping Hunter up and sending him face first on the canvas. Tamika off the ropes, leaping leg drop on both of them gains her the advantage. Gonzo rolls up, diving at Tamika, sending his shoulder in to her midsection and consequently flipping her over his back with the intensity. Gonzo lifts her up, whipping her in to the corner, following in with a shoulder block then a leaping kick to her mouth. Tamika is leaning in the corner then falling forward, in to the waiting arms of Gonzo who delivers a vertical suplex on to Hunter Sullivan. Or actually, where Hunter was at only moments ago. Gonzo turns around, running knee to the face sends Gonzo in to the corner now, where Hunter peppers him with left and right shin and knee shots before ending the combo with a very solid sounding stinging shot to the chest. The crowd winces as Hunter lifts Gonzo up top for a superplex, but Gonzo seems to find his bearings as he begins to fire fists in to Hunter’s ribs. Hunter pulls back, but Gonzo also shoves forward; the end result is Hunter lands on his back, but Gonzo lands face first on the canvas.

Larry Gordon: Both pay for that move.

Linzi Martin: And Meghan is getting back up on the outside.

True, she is, but so is KVLT and Jaice Wilds. KVLT pulls her around, whipping her in to the railing before consistently slamming her face in to the barricade. However Jaice is there, though not to save Meghan, he runs along the railing, leaping off and sending the bottom of his boot onto KVLT’s nose. KVLT stumbles back from the force and Jaice quickly sweeps his feet out from under him. Jaice picks Meghan up, but she nails him with a chop to his inner thigh before back body dropping him on the railing. Jaice bends over backwards from the impact before landing on the crowd side of the barrier.

Larry Gordon: So much for it protecting the fans.

Linzi Martin: Isn’t that the truth, think you could do something about that.

Larry Gordon: I could fire you…

Linzi Martin: Amazing how protective those barriers are, especially in this type of environment.

Gonzo has Tamika up in the ring, sending his fist repeatedly in to her face, but Meghan leaps from the top rope, flipping and driving in to nothing. Hunter spears Tamika at the last minute, sending her in to the ropes and subsequently causing Gonzo to stumble forward and Meghan making contact with nothing. Gonzo spins around, Meghan getting back to her feet. Gonzo with a kick to the face before a neckbreaker sends her on the canvas. Jaice is pulling himself back up, pissed off and holding at his lower back as a cheesy nacho chip slides down the side of his face. KVLT rolls in to the ring, carrying a steel chair with him for a weapon of choice. Jaice climbs slowly over the barricade, that chip still cheesily sliding down his face, resting at his chin now. Gonzo kicks the chair out of KVLT’s hand and something snaps in the man’s demeanor.

Linzi Martin: Is that guy crazy?

Larry Gordon: It did appear that a spark came in to his eyes.

Lariat to Gonzo! He spins around, Lariat to Tamika!

Larry Gordon: Uh oh, this could be devastating to the other teams’ hopes.

Meghan pulls herself up, crouching as Jaice slides in to the ring.

Lariat to Jaice sends him down. Meghan launches a kick at his ribs, but he spins and avoids the blow, sending her down with a lariat as well! Hunter is extactic and goes to congratulate his partner for the good job, but KVLT sends him down with a lariat as well!

Linzi Martin: What a retard. Why did he do that?

Larry Gordon: Its cause KVLTAMANIA is running wild!

Gonzo rolls over to his knees, shaking his head from side to side to clear the cobwebs from the lariat. KVLT is still in lariat mode, but Gonzo manages a punch under a lariat and sends him down on the canvas. Gonzo mounts him with repeated shots of kicks before dropping a knee on to his face and mounting him with punches and elbows to the face.

Larry Gordon: I think Gonzo may have gone bonkers.

Linzi Martin: Really Larry? Bonkers?

Larry Gordon: Look, I don’t have anyone writing my lines for me.

Meghan comes with a shin kick to his skull, knocking Gonzo a bit loopy, but as he stumbles around, KVLT lifts him up in the air, snap powerbombing him on the canvas. KVLT looks up right in to a double missile dropkick from the Cowgirls From Hell and as Tamika rids the ring of Gonzo, Meghan makes the cover on Hunter.

One…

Two…

Three.

Ding Ding Ding

Jenny Jersey: Winners of the match, the team of Tamika and Meghan Nash Strader… the Cowgirls From Hell!

You Are Cordially Invited…

Over the REBELTron, a previously recorded message with a fancy envelope opens and we begin to see a message written over a fancy card. It is read out loud.

Simon Kalis: You’re all cordially invited to the Simon Kalis-Tamika Nash Strader wedding ceremony, which we’re going to hold live at Birthday Bash on April 2nd, 2012 in Kabul, Afghanistan!

The crowd in the arena cheers as the envelope fades and we see Simon and Tamika standing together in embrace.

Simon Kalis: Unless you’re a Master of Armageddon, because fuck those guys!

Tamika Nash Strader: Yeah!

They kiss and we fade to black.

QUICK RESULTS

Hardcore Snowfall defeats The Space Age to advance in RP3T!
Might & Magic beats the DLC & Hardcore Entertainment to advance in RP3T! RIP Brandyn
Teresa Quaranta & Masakzu defeat Tru ReVolution to advance in RP3T!
The Cowgirls From Hell narrowly defeat Queens R Wild & Kvlt/Sullivan to advance in RP3T!

NEXT WEEK, ON MONDAY NIGHT AGGRESSION!

RP3T CONTINUES! Plus! REBEL Pro is NOT SAFE For The Masters of Armageddon!

Jack The Mackhammer versus Jeremy Gold versus Duncan Aries**

Bobby Lee versus Jack Spades

#10- Grade A Nastiness (Mark McNasty and Alex Wilkie) vs. #3 C3 © (Emily Corlen & Justin Case) versus #7 Might & Magic

#13- Dodo-A-Gogo (Lisa Seldon and Anna Mathews) vs #4 Sticks N Stones (Matt Stone & Marvin Wood)

#14- Thunderwolf/Jeffery Drake vs #16 Teresa Quaranta & Masakazu vs. Hardcore Snowfall

#5 Nature (Pohatu & Lucious Starr) vs. #18 The Cowgirls From Hell

REBEL Pro Aggression Title NUMBER ONE CONTENDERSHIP Match*
Kvlt Drachen versus Violet Harper

* Denotes consequences at Birthday Bash for Violet if she loses, since she is an MoA cunt.
** Denotes consequences at Birthday Bash for Duncan Aries, since he is an MoA prick.

Oh, there’s more! AWARDS!

Congratulations are in order to both Alex(aka Lisa Seldon!) and Joel(aka Justin Case!) for great work in 2011. Not to mention Bean(aka Bubba J & Jethro Hayes) for being the best all round dude possible! I was going to do lovely actual presentation segments for them, but nobody sent me anything as far as a tiny speech. So blame them. The assholes. (jk I love you all! Even you reading!)

REBEL Pro Wrestler of the Year 2011: Lisa Seldon
REBEL Pro Rookie of the Year 2011: Lisa Seldon
REBEL Pro Face of the Year 2011: Lisa Seldon
REBEL Pro Heel of the Year 2011: Justin Case
REBEL Pro’s Most Improved of the year 2011: Justin Case
OOC Award, All Round Great Guy 2011: Bean