My Name is… Nameless Interview Geek

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m supposed to be talking to the Rebel Pro World Champion. However I can’t seem to – no, wait…

LISA SELDON: Arm! Arm!

Nameless Interview Geek sticks his arm out on command, just as Lisa rolls into the shot, catches hold and brings herself to a stop beside him.

LISA SELDON: Thanks.

Lisa pushes her hair out of her face and then does her best to stay balanced.

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: Roller-skates?

LISA SELDON: When we’re not wrestling I hold underground Roller Derby games and illegal gambling circuits.

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: Aren’t you a bit… can you say those things?

LISA SELDON: Yeah, no one believes me anyway. I’m cookie.

Lisa lets out an enthusiastic woohoo, throws her hands up in the air and spins around twice without falling over.

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: Fair enough. So, few questions, do you still work here?

LISA SELDON: Yes.

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: Will you be defending the title against Emily Corlen?

LISA SELDON: If she can pull herself away for the Retard Rumble with Shadow Starr long enough to get her head caved in, I’m perfectly fine being the person to do it.

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: And do you have any idea when that match will take place.

LISA SELDON: Well my doctors have been pushing me to take a few weeks out and recover from… you know… monkey wounds and so I’m looking at early March before I’m back in singles competition.

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: So you’re upcoming PWA tag title shot is..?

LISA SELDON: That’s not a match, that’s a funeral where the guys getting buried just haven’t died yet.

NAMESLESS INTERVIEW GEEK: Well that’s fair. Anyway that’s about everything. Any last words?

LISA SELDON: Neh, just edit in something amazing I said and we’ll all be good.

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: That we’ll do.

Nameless Interview Geek gets cut off from the rest of his spiel by the exuberantly aggressive revving of Anna Mathews riding in on a quad bike. Lisa raises an eyebrow.

LISA SELDON: I said roller-skates.

ANNA MATHEWS: Wha da u wnt? Itz gt fore wheelz?

A good enough answer for Lisa apparently, who shrugs in agreement and then hitches onto the back.

LISA SELDON: See ya later, benders!

Lisa salutes and then rides out of shot, hanging off the back of a quad bike.

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: Someone is going to get badly hurt. TONIGHT on Rebel Pro!

Big Boss Man, makes an announcement

“I’m A Rebel” hits up in the speakers as Larry Gordon steps down the entrance ramp, heading towards his broadcasting position; however he steps into the ring and receives a microphone from Jenny Jersey instead.

“I’ll keep this as brief as possible here tonight, but there is a few things I’ve got to say.”

The crowd settles down slightly.

“Duncan Aries and Johnny Maverick will not be wrestling here tonight and for that reason… Duncan Aries. When I hired him back, I knew of his track record and put into his contract that if there was ever a week that he did not record a promo to hype up his match, then he would be let go from the company. Therefore, Duncan Aries is fired from Rebel Pro and should he ever… I mean ever be resigned, then it will be on a weekly basis and at a huge cut in pay, not to mention a possible 6 month period where he cannot compete for a Rebel Pro Title of any kind.”

The crowd cheers this, the fact that Duncan Aries is let go because of his no-showing.

“So I do apologize for there only being two matches here tonight, but I think a couple of the following announcements will make up for it.”

He clears his throat.

“There will be a new Best of the Best Tournament here in Rebel Pro, called the Rebel Pro Tag Team Tournament, or RP3T for short. The winner of this tournament will receive a Rebel Pro Tag Team Title shot as well as a $50,000 bonus for winning, as well as a possible AOWF Tag Team Title shot!”

The crowd pops big for this.

“And the sign ups will go until February 27, so the more teams the merrier and we are nearly up to sixteen teams and it is open to any person, who can get a tag team partner, in the entire wrestling world!”

Bigger pop from the crowd.

“But now for the biggest announcement of the night. Something to sort of revolutionize Rebel Pro and give them a bit more uniqueness… The February pay per view event will be called Mutilation Mayhem Action!”

He waits as the fans listen to the name and try to figure out why.

“The sport of mixed martial arts…”

The crowd gets it, they jump to their feet, Larry Gordon waits.

“Has evolved and grown in to a big time beast here in the Sports world and its time that Rebel Pro utilizes some of that popularity… with a twist.”

He smirks.

“The February Event will be held in the Alerus Center, in Grand Forks, North Dakota!”

The fans in that city or state probably pop huge, but these fans here give a big pop as well, they are looking forward to this type of pay per view.

“Each match will be held in an eight sided octagon ring, made of barbed wire, electrified barbed wire, and broken glass. Each match will be at least 3 rounds long, with Rebel Pro Title matches going five rounds, each round lasting not five minutes, but ten minutes of action.”

The crowd seem to love this a lot.

“Now enjoy the action here tonight!”

Larry Gordon steps out of the ring and to his position at the table with Linzi Martin.

Linzi Martin: How is it, that you get entrance music?

Larry Gordon: One of the perks of being an owner Linzi.

Linzi Martin: Oh, got anything you want to sell dear ole little me?

Larry Gordon: Not a chance, but we’ll see about getting you some entrance music, how about that.

Linzi Martin: I’d be your best friend and love you always.

We go Backstage

The scene shifts backstage, where Emily Corlen is standing, smiling, her REBEL Pro Tag Team Championship belt slung over her shoulder.

Emily Corlen: Hi. My name is Emily Corlen -

Suddenly, Justin Case jumps into the frame, his own Tag title belt strapped around his waist.

Justin Case: – and I’m Justin Case!

Emily Corlen: …yes, you are… and we’re here to announce that -

Justin Case: We’re totally sticking together as a tag team!

Emily glares at Justin, who takes a step back before continuing.

Emily Corlen: Right. That. From here on out, you can refer to us as -

Justin Case: The Corlen Case Connection!

Emily Corlen: Would you SERIOUSLY knock that off?!

Justin Case: Knock what off? I’m excited!

Emily sighs, covering her forehead with her palm before continuing.

Emily Corlen: Alright, fine. Why don’t you just finish the announcement, then?

Justin opens his mouth excitedly to speak, but nothing comes out. The crowd laughs as he strokes his chin, looking slightly confused.

Justin Case: …I forgot the rest of it.

Emily groans loudly.

Emily Corlen: Forget it! We are The Corlen Case Connection… C3 for short, and to all the teams in the upcoming RP3T Tournament, we hope you’re ready for a whole lot of disappointment because the two of us are going in as the Tag Team Champions… and we’re coming OUT as the Tag Team Champions.

Justin Case suddenly slaps Emily on the shoulder, excited yet again.

Justin Case: Okay, I totally remembered the ending! Can I?

Emily Corlen: Go ahead.

Justin clears his throat before beginning.

Justin Case: Justin Case you didn’t know…

Emily Corlen: From this point forward, WE rule this F’N show…

Justin Case: …BELIEVE IT!

The crowd cheers as Emily and Justin high five one another before walking off in separate directions, leaving the scene to cut back to ringside.

Justin Case vs Bobby Lee

” Victory ” by P Diddy and company hits the P.A. Out comes ” The Millennium Game ” Justin Case! He stands at the entrance way, with his manager behind him, as pyro shoots on either side while he raises his oh so talented arms in the very talented air! Case struts down the ramp as Hugh Aredone limpingly lingers behind. He struts to the squared circle with a cockily arrogance that only he can endeavor. Once from inside the ring, he steps to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd on hand. Whether they like him or not, it does not matter. His manager hits his cane on the apron showing his approval. Jumping off the ropes he prepares for the match pulling on the upper rope as his music ends.

Ding Ding

The bell sounds and here is Justin Case looking to take apart Bobby Lee and Lee is looking to retain his Feagle Beagle Championship. Collar and elbow, but mainly it is just a side headlock by Justin Case that causes Bobby Lee to scream out in pain and submit that early in the match. Referee Jimmy Johnson says that he must continue the match, these fans paid to see a match. Bobby Lee whimpers and indicates that they are all aliens travelers from the Planet Zepnon looking to be allies with the Zeti Reticuli. Justin Case with a German Suplex drops Bobby Lee on his head once more in his life time and Lee may be wanting to give up even quicker next time, or possibly looking at another career choice.

Larry Gordon: Bobby Lee’s whimpering does get a bit annoying at times.

Linzi Martin: About like Jeremy Golds, but Gold isn’t nearly as smelly.

Justin with an Irish whip and a back body puts Lee on the canvas. Justin Case is just warming up here in this contest and is using this to get a bit of his frustrations out on the hapless Bobby Lee. Irish Whip into a tilt a whirl backbreaker has Bobby Lee yelling that he’s crippled for life now. Case with a camel clutch has Bobby Lee passed out from the pain, but Case lifts him back up before Jimmy Johnson can force te match to end. Case with a toss into the corner where the Millennium Game pounds away with rights and lefts to Bobby’s ribs and ends the rib jarring impacts with an elbow to his temple and Bobby Lee is in Lalaland. Case lifts him to the top turnbuckle, setting him up, and delivering a superplex to take him to the very center of the ring. Justin lifts Bobby Lee up.

Linzi Martin: The Benchmark!

Larry Gordon: Utter domination by Justin Case here.

Justin pulls Bobby Lee back up, growling something about having to face such a talent lacking opponent.

Fisherman’s suplex!

But wait! Justin Case isn’t finished, he’s going to show everyone that his talent shouldn’t be wasted on the likes of Bobby Lee.

Larry Gordon: Belly to Belly Suplex!

Linzi Martin: Wait, he’s going for another suplex here!

Rolling Trio of Back Suplexes has Bobby Lee out cold, but Justin Case isn’t finished just yet.

Larry Gordon: Shooting Star Press!

Justin lifts the rag doll that is Bobby Lee up into a butterfly position.

Just! Too! Talented!

Larry Gordon: Wait… who’s that?

Justin makes the cover.

One!

The masked man jumps the barrier.

Two!

He slides into the ring, lead pipe in hand.

Three!

Ding Ding Ding

Justin Case stands up, but not for long as the lead pipe connects solidly with the back of his skull sending a bit of blood flying on impact and one half of the Rebel Pro champions down on his face. Justin lands on top of the unconscious Bobby Lee as the masked man laughs and leaves backing up the entrance ramp.

Larry Gordon: Do you have any idea?

Linzi Martin: Not a clue, but I do find it strange that someone attacks Rocky last week and now Justin Case has been attacked this week.

Nameless Interview Geek Returns

Having just been tailwhipped from a quadbike, Lisa hurtles down the hallway at a tremendous pace, practically shooting sparks from her wheels and finding herself completely unable to stop, which turns out to be horrible news for the person in front of her. Her second instinct is to shout look out, however her first instinct as a wrestler is to stick out her arm and utterly obliterate the person with a Clothesline.

LISA SELDON: Boom!

Lisa turns and skates back toward her kill, but drops to her knees and lets out an unearthly scream when she finds the body.

LISA SELDON: ELI! NOOO!

Anna Mathews looms in over her shoulder.

ANNA MATHEWS: Aye thnk tats Payton.

NAMESLESS INTERVIEW GEEK: Um, that’s actually J-Kurt.

LISA SELDON: COOPER! NO!

She pounds her fists against his chest.

LISA SELDON: Now you’ll never wear that Superbowl ring.

The world sort of hangs for a minute.

NAMELESS INTERVIEW GEEK: You should probably get out of here.

LISA SELDON: Quite.

Anna puts out an arm and Lisa uses it to hop back to her wheels.

LISA SELDON: To the Bunny Rabbit!

Lisa and Anna get out of dodge before anyone realises they’ve killed again. Still, least it was only a Kurtis.

Vincent Black vs Emily Corlen

Larry Gordon: The TGW World Champion, and REBEL Pro Tag Team Champion Emily Corlen has really elevated her level of compete since last year, and there’s no stopping her.

Vincent Black circles, Corlen circling opposite him.

Linzi Martin: That’s not to take away anything from Vincent Black, who is one half of the AoWF Tag Team Champions after all.

Finally, the bell rings.

DING DING DING

Emily rushes, quick and powerful strike on Black’s midsection. Black seems to shrug it off, throwing an elbow back wildly and catching Emily in the back of the head. Corlen bounces off the ropes, but she uses her momentum to springboard and hit a flying elbow of her own on Black! But Black catches her! Vincent Black with a high angle spine buster crashes Corlen down into the canvas, to the shaking of the ring and the roars of the crowd.

Linzi Martin: Dayum!!! She’ll feel that tomorrow!

Larry Gordon: Emily is usually one to employ power moves, but against a man like Vincent Black she has to use her size for speed than power.

Black bounces himself off the ropes, and lands a thunderous leg drop right over Corlen’s throat.

Linzi Martin: Yeah. If she goes power for power with Black, she’s likely to end up looking like Jacob Venar after a Johnny Maverick match.

Black stays in position and reaches to the right, lifting Emily’s legs up like she’s a rag doll for an unorthodox pin.

KICK OUT!

Larry Gordon: No way a leg drop is going to shut down one of the premier talents in wrestling today.

Black rolls off her, and gets to his feet as Corlen herself gets to her feet, smirking.

Linzi Martin: If Corlen is a premier talent, Vinny B is a god. *swoons*

Black charges Corlen, she side steps him and Black runs right into the corner turnbuckle. Corlen lashes out with a stuff kick right into the back of Vincent’s shin, another kick to his other shin. She climbs the turnbuckle and puts herself over him, wraps her arms around his head and drops back with a reverse DDT from the middle rope!!! BANG! The ring shakes from the impact, the crowd is on their feet now. Corlen rolls onto Black. Corlen begins wailing on Vincent Black, lefts and rights.

Larry Gordon: The Vincent I knew would never take it like that.

Em with a right… Vincent grabs her wrist and begins to squeeze.

Linzi Martin: And there he is.

Em with a left… Vincent grabs her wrist and begins to squeeze. Emily tries pulling herself free but Black does it for her by throwing her off of him, Emily hit’s the ring and rolls right to the outside of the ring. Black is on his feet and climbs out onto the ring apron. Corlen gets to her feet and Black jumps off with a double axe handle smash over her, knocking her into the barricade. Some fans pat Corlen on the back. Black grabs Corlen by the neck and lifts her up but she snap kicks him in the balls, he drops her. She grabs a beer from the hands of a fan and smashes the bottle right across Black’s head, shattering it instantly. Black staggers back and Corlen grabs his arm, she whips him into the metal post.

PING!

Larry Gordon: Corlen is gaining control here now.

Black turns around as Corlen rushes, and he lifts his boot up and catches her right in the face! Corlen hit’s the ground and holds her face, her own momentum used against her.

Linzi Martin: You jinxed her, Larry.

The camera zooms in on Corlen’s face to show her lip is busted open. The crowd cheers at this! Not cause they hate Corlen, but because REBELs love blood baby. Corlen rolls right under the ring and Black reaches in after her. He can’t find her, but he isn’t some dumb rookie, he knows his size would leave him vulnerable if he tried any harder to look. So Black casually strolls to the time keepers table and throws the time keeper off his chair, grabbing it and tapping it against his knee. The crowd is cheering and screaming, drinking and getting more rowdy by the second.

Larry Gordon: Pandemonium is building now.

Black circles the ring like a shark smelling blood in

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the water, just as Corlen rolls out from underneath the ring and jumps to her feet with the most awful weapon imaginable… A barbed wire covered dildo!

Linzi Martin: Ohhhh that has teeth.

Black swings the chair like he’s going for a home run, Corlen ducks. Corlen smacks him across the face with the barbed wire dildo. Black looks disgusted and steps back. Corlen with another swing catches Black again across the face and this time the barbs take their chunk of flesh and Vincent Black is bleeding. Black drops the chair and grabs the barbed wire wrapped dildo as Corlen goes for a third swing. A tug of war begins, and Corlen won’t let go. Black is pulling so hard he’s dragging Corlen up the entrance ramp, his hand begins to bleed. Finally Corlen just suddenly lets go of it, Black’s momentum sends him back. Black whips the dildo back at Corlen, and it catches her across the neck and slashes her throat. Though, not as bad as Black might’ve hoped.

Linzi Martin: Only in REBEL Pro, Larry.

Larry Gordon: Yep.

Black charges and grabs Corlen by the neck in her moment of astonishment. He rips his fingers and thumb into her throat, grinding them into the open cuts before lifting Corlen up high into the air. Corlen grabs his hand with both of hers and tries ripping herself free as Vincent chokes her. She kicks her legs out and barely touches Black in the chest, his reach so extended her legs can’t make it. Black is speaking to her and smirking as he walks over to the barricade and a bunch of fans scurry out of the way as Black choke slams her into the crowd and through a stack of three chairs!

Larry Gordon: If Corlen’s back wasn’t going to feel the spine buster, she will feel this.

Linzi Martin: I wager you’re right.

Black goes to the ring and searches under it as Corlen rolls to her side, rubbing her back and wincing. Only for a second, though. She pulls herself up as Vincent pulls two tables out from under the ring and slides it in.

Larry Gordon: Fans may remember, that it was Vincent Black who hit his finisher The New Hope on Emily Corlen through a table and won Hardcore Entertainment the REBEL Pro Tag Team titles off of Lisa Seldon and Corlen.

Corlen climbs over the barricade back to ringside, as Black sets the tables up in the ring.

Larry Gordon: It would be Emily’s last match with us until she came back and won one half of the vacant tag titles.

Corlen hops up onto the ring apron just as Vincent finishes with the second table. She climbs the top rope, and stands precariously on the top turnbuckle.

Linzi Martin: Lovely history lesson there, Larry.

Black turns around and Emily jumps off with a missile dropkick! BOTH OF THEM GO THROUGH BOTH OF THE TABLES!!! Black gets it worse as not only does he get hit, but he goes through them first with Corlen landing on top of him into the wreckage. The crowd cheers, and both of them are slow to move.

Corlen is up first though and while Black is down, he uses his long reach and grabs her left leg and pulls. She falls to a knee, he uses her to pull himself up and elbows her in the back of the head. Corlen with a quick shove pushes Vincent off of her and goes for a vicious roundhouse kick. Black catches her foot, and spins her around. A kick to the gut has Corlen keeling forward. Black hoists her up for The New Hope! BUT CORLEN ROLLS FORWARD OVER HIS HEAD, TWISTING HER LEGS UP AND HOOKING HIS ARMS AND THEN FORCING THEM BOTH BACK DOWN WITH DOWN IN FLAMES THROUGH THE BROKEN TABLES!! The crowd goes wild! She covers!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jenny Jersey: Winner of this match, Emily Corlen!!!

Larry Gordon: My gawd what an amazing match here for Aggression’s Main Event!

Linzi Martin: Is this where you say but unfortunately we are out of time for this episode?

Larry Gordon: Well…, um…, yeah.

Quick Results

Duncan Aries vs Johnny Maverick – Didn’t happen, no showed, Duncan Aries fired.

Justin Case defeated Bobby Lee

Emily Corlen defeated Vincent Black